What if you dropped the struggle and BE who you came here to be?

As the LinkedIn Top Voices 2018 list was released, the response was humbling to say the least.

Most look at me and think I’m this outgoing bragging bitch,

those who know me,

will tell you I’m the complete opposite.

I’m that introvert who simply committed to my purpose.

The one who shows up regardless of how much I squirm in my pants.

And being put in the spotlight sees me squirming a lot.

Which is why I don’t do what I do for applause or recognition.

I love being the coach BEHIND the top achievers.

What’s really interesting for me though are the comments of deserving after all the hard work.

Which left me reeling with guilt.

Because honestly,

I don’t experience my work as hard.

OMG it’s the complete opposite.

Last weekend I finally listened to all the care-bears and took two days off,

disconnecting from ‘work’,

trying to ‘relax’.

By Saturday night I was going out of my motherfucking mind!

By Sunday morning I secretly pulled out my laptop and started creating, writing, planning, behind closed doors.

Resisting who I am, denying my very nature in an attempt to conform to the expectations and demands of others, fitting what I came here to do into a work-life mentality where days and activities are dictated by calendars and clocks,


Allowing myself to do my soul work is the easiest thing in the world.

To let the message flow through me.

Getting out of my head and drop into my heart and then to create from a space of love.

Giving free reign to my badass bitch who thrives in the hustle, the push, the grind, the sweat, the tears.

When I am in my zone others step the fuck out of the way for the focus and intensity is raw and primal and wild.

This is where human potential meets spiritual potency in creating an intense experience of life.

I don’t do it for accolades, recognition or money.

I do it because it’s who I am.

Who I choose to be.

I do it because when I chose to release the shackles of depression, victimhood and misery,

I chose to show up authentically for all who choose to be inspired by my insanity,

to wake up from the drudgery of existence,

and to consciously choose to thrive.

What’s hard for me is trying to fit in!

OMG going to cocktail parties and talking about completely irrelevant bullshit and niceties sees me hiding in the bathroom waiting for the clock to strike ten so I can make my escape.

Speaking vanilla fills me with the urge to defecate (thank you for the artistic expression Pink Floyd).

Sitting on my arse doing nothing is excruciating.

As a high achiever I find conforming to the expectations of an average world hard.

I find compromising tough.

Because people want us to slow down not understanding how draining it is for us to move at their snails pace.

They want us to wallow in their miserable ideas that the hustle is a struggle.

They want us to lower our standards and expectations because apparently it’s too high.

It’s not fair on everyone else for us to say step up or step out.

It’s not realistic of us to choose excellence in our lives, our companies, our work.




What if instead you stopped the struggle of being less than who you know you are?

What if you stopped the hardship of holding your inner beast back on strained leash?

What if you broke free from the prison in your mind that has you smiling in public and screaming in agony in private?

What if my friend,

you made the decision that all those who are not willing to embrace the beauty of your full potential,

can stay behind.

Honouring their choice and free will,

as you honour your own?

Who would you be?

How would you show up?

Who would you walk away from?

Fuck, who would you run from?

How will you fill your days with magical experiences?

What would you do to celebrate your victories?

Someone recommended yesterday that I celebrate the Top Voice recognition.

I did an hour long FB live in my group sharing deeply from my heart, my soul, my purpose!

It was the most rewarding, most joyous expression of my gratitude and appreciation of life.

THIS is available to you if you just stop pretending you’re anything but


It’s not about what you do Darling.

It’s not about the action work that you take.

It’s about who you choose to be and how you choose to define the experience.

Yes, you will trip up.

I still do.

Just look at this past weekend.

I mean seriously, what was I thinking believing them that doing NOTHING would recharge my batteries????

Yet part of the human experience is contradiction.

It’s about disconnecting from yourself, your truth, every now and again,

looking at the experts and doing what their research confirms,

and then deciding for yourself.

If it feels fabulous, easy, in flow, for your soul (not necessarily your body),

do more of that.

If on the other hand it feels draining, depressing, restless, shit, for your soul,

stop it!

Just stop it!

My invitation to you today is to sit down and to CHOOSE who you desire to be.

In full glory.

Celebrating your best potential.

And then,

if you’re really committed to your thrive,


It won’t be easy in the beginning.

There will be fears roaring rage inside your mind.

There will be people who plead, threaten and lash out at you.

The temptation to sit back down will be great.

You simply have to be stronger than all of that.

Because when you think about it,

the only person who is guaranteed to be with you your entire life,

is YOU.

Why not choose to have the best of you along for the ride?

Of course, it’s always a choice.

Only death is inevitable.

Thriving is always the choice of the truly brave.

With deep love and appreciation of you,








Are you asking yourself the best questions?

I love biting off more than I think I can chew.

I love waking up in the morning, deciding it’s time to step up, and then saying YES to whatever the Universe decides to dish up.

I love closing my eyes in denial of my insanity when I hit the enter button.

It keeps me focused.

It keeps me sharp.

It keeps the adrenaline pumping just enough to ensure my feet hit the floor before 5 am every morning.

Which saw me out on The Cookie Monster in the early hours Saturday whilst neighbours were hitting the snooze button.

After a downpour of rain, I knew it was going to be muddy AF.

Okay okay, so maybe I had just a little bit of saliva forming in my mouth at the prospect of getting dirrrrty.

Approaching the single tracks, I found myself excitedly anticipating the post-storm change in landscape.

I didn’t have long to wait.

A mere twenty meters in, I came to a screeching halt as a fallen tree completely cut off the route.

There was no way around.

The height made it impossible to go over.

Which meant I would have to navigate the twisting branches, crawling on my knees, having to pick up TCM at crazy angles to get her to the other side.

Enter, the voice…


if this is how the route starts,

it could prove to be a tricky ride.

It will fuck up my average speed.

Grrrrr, frustrating.

It might be impossible further down and then I would have to turn around and do it all again.

I don’t really need to train mud-running today.

I don’t really have to work on the technical travesties of mountain biking.

I can just go onto the stop-banks and hit out some intervals.’

Yes, she is a little bitch, and she can find excuses like a pro!

Then again,

“What would I do if this was race day?”


Scrape knees, knock elbows, kiss mud.

THIS is the power of the questions you ask yourself.

A strategy I learned years ago.

As I look back on my cycling wins, it’s clear that the races which ended on the podium, were the ones in the worst conditions.

Normally storms raged which had most competitors opt to stay in bed.

From those who started, few persevered to the end.

Constantly battling head-winds can feel like soul-draining traversing over a mountain top.

Rain drops turn into a razor-blades creating the sensation that your skin’s being cut from bones, talk about next level mind-fuck.

Small wonder that most eventually sacrifice a possible win for shelter.

Why did I get to the finish lines?

Because the months and weeks and days prior to the race,

when the weather was shit,

I would ask myself

“What would I do if this was race day?”

I understood that for me to race in any condition, I have to be willing to train in any condition.

I have to be prepared to get to the target, regardless of what Mother Nature and life throws my way.

Sometimes stress led to little or no sleep.

I would train.

Sometimes a sick child up all night would leave me feeling like a bleached dishtowel.

I would train.

Sometimes a rescheduled meeting would mean having to show up with no make-up and pony-tail hair.

I would train.

And so instead of asking myself “how can I make this easier?” or “what would be a more convenient time to do this?” or “what is everyone else doing?”

I showed the fuck up.

I did whatever I committed to doing BEFORE I knew what the conditions would be.

To this day, I honour these values.

I walk through mud when I can no longer ride.

I climb through trees when I can’t get around.

I cry unashamedly when it hurts and keep moving forward.

I scream out loud when the storm rages against me, and keep looking to where I desire to go.

Most people will think this is excessive.

I know better.

Because what I learn on the field,

I take into life.

Why don’t I give up when the shit hits the fan, when the economy goes down the toilet, when my website falls over, when the payment system goes down, when I don’t get public applause?


I train resilience, purpose, passion, commitment on the trails and bring it into the office.

I know where I’m heading and I will show up every single day REGARDLESS of the circumstances.

Knowing no matter how tough it gets, I’m stronger.

Knowing that although obstacles can be frustrating, I will eventually find the solutions.

Knowing I will continue to break down to my knees, and my Soul will continue to rise.

None of this happens when I ask the ‘easy option’ questions.

When I ask the “hooooooooow” questions.

When I look around at others and draw comparisons, excusing myself because quite frankly, most people are lazy and weak of mind.

Instead, I choose to keep my head in the game and to draw from within.

Today I invite you to start paying attention to your questions.

Not just the ones you say out loud – you know, the ones you’ve thought through and voice thinking they’ll make you sound super intelligent or badass.

I’m talking about the ones that you’re unconsciously asking yourself before deciding on every single action:

What you put into your mouth;

What you put on your action list;

What you put on your body;

What you choose to believe;

Who you choose to talk to.

All of these seemingly inconsequential actions are preceded by a question.

And when your questions smack of little to no effort,

in other words the ones that reveal underneath the big talk you’re actually a lazy sloth,

understand that your results will reflect this.

If on the other hand, your questions are performance driven,

well Honey,

you know you’re going to be purring like a kitten when you go to sleep at night,

exhausted but satisfied.

You might have a few extra scrapes and bruises,

but you ain’t made to be wrapped in cotton wool.

If you’re serious about success, 

paying attention to the mind-details,

is simply


Only death is inevitable.

Thriving is the choice of the badass brave asking the questions that lead to peak performance.

With love and appreciation,





True endurance comes from falling in love with the process, the journey.

I struggle to understand most people.

Those who are constantly complaining about life.

Moaning about doing the work.

Unhappy – unless disconnected from their physical reality through booze or drugs or porn or online gaming.

I struggle to understand why everyone is so goddamned impatient with themselves and their growth.

I see them get angry each time they do introspection and discover another hidden fear, another bullshit belief, another cleverly designed means of self-sabotage.

They want it all to go away.


Thinking that once they’ve released all their internal interferences, life is going to be grande.

Not understanding that the entire point of this thing called life,

in my humble opinion,

IS the introspection.

It’s the process of uncovering more desires and then identifying more interferences, and realigning with a purer version of yourself to receive your dreams.

Except, before it’s even fully manifested, you already desire more.

Which means you get to keep doing the work over and over again,

until the day you die.

And quite frankly,

when the work is complete,

the way everyone seems to want it,

there’s no more for your soul to rediscover,

and therefor,

surely it’s inevitable that you will press the reset button so it can all start again?

From this perspective, your impatience with the work, is impatience with life itself!

Stubbornly convinced that you just have to get rid of ONE more belief or ONE more block and THEN,


you’re going to be so happy!

Life is going to be fine and dandy.

Choosing to be miserable until that day comes, holding out for the pot of gold at the end of the rainbow.

And the truth is, you can absolutely choose to live in this way.

You can choose to wake up in the morning feeling discouraged, frustrated, angry and depressed,

thinking of all the shit that’s piled up on top of you once again,

all the annoying demands of others,

that you need to work through.

I know that used to be my default setting as well.

This approach made life a living hell.

I don’t believe that anymore.

Instead, I have chosen to fall in love with the work.

I’ve chosen to fall in love with the journey.

I’ve chosen to fall in love with my life.

I actually ADORE doing the mindset work each and every morning.  Like an explorer from days gone by, I go into my subconscious mind and discover new things that I get to investigate and either keep or release.  I get to take a different view on my life and I get to choose what I want to stay the same and what I want to change.

Isn’t that exciting???

I ADORE building my business!  I love connecting to her essence every day and asking her what else she wants to do at this wonderful time.  I love the new puzzles she presents to me all the time, her changing dynamics, the new obstacles she presents with so much love gifting the chance to find solutions I didn’t have before.  I love when she brings to me  potential opportunities that light me up and I have to find the courage to say yes to.  The ones that really has me step up.  The ones that really bring me a depth I didn’t have before.

Isn’t that exciting???

I ADORE training my ass off on my bikes, on my runs, on my yoga mat.  I am thrilled every time that I encounter the pain and have to find a way to move through it in order for me to gain more and bring more to the start line.  I find it exhilarating to experiment with my nutrition and supplements and then feeling the changes it brings to my focus and stamina when I take the right one that gives me a new edge.

Isn’t that exciting???

I ADORE relationships in all shapes and forms.  The ones that just feel yummy every day, having me smile, having me sing.  And also the ones that really hurt like a trooper.  The ones that has me pulling out my greying hair.  The ones that feels like a slap in the face.  Knowing that all of my relationships happen for me.  They are beautiful mirrors of what’s going on inside myself – sometimes reflecting a behaviour I didn’t want to acknowledge, sometimes reflecting a lack of boundaries because I didn’t think I was worthy of having those, sometimes reflecting a nasty habit of kissing arse, taking responsibility for the feelings of others, or just wanting to be approved of.

Isn’t that exciting???

Does this mean I never cry?  Never scream in fear or frustration or anger?  Does it mean that I stay on even keel every moment of every day?

Are you kidding me???

Have you met me???

Hell Darling, I AM the storm and the rain and the sunshine and the hurricane and the cool evening breeze all rolled into one.

And that is perfect too.

My point is not that you have to become this zombified body walking around without emotions.

Well, actually, if you look around most people are so drugged and desensitised from mere existence, this is how they actually go through life.

My point is that if you just cut yourself some slack, if you just learn to laugh at yourself a little more, if you stop thinking you have to get to the finish line before you can be happy,

you can choose to be happy NOW!

You can choose to love the work and the process and the journey,

thereby wanting to do it even more,

because it’s fun.

Expecting to do it for the rest of your life thereby removing the impatience.


I promise you,

you WILL get way better results.

After all, only death is inevitable.

Thriving is always the choice of the brave.

With deep love and appreciation,


If you’re done with your bullshit, let’s get started.

Are you quite done yet?

Have you had enough of your own excuses as to why you can’t go for it?

All of it?

Are you bored with the reflection of your ‘reality’ indicating a mind, weak like a newborn?

Are you fed up with the bitter taste of mediocrity that continuously washes up from your soul –



nauseating phlegm,

thick and distasteful,

that you’ve been swallowing down.

Because you’re scared.

And instead of just admitting to your fear,

naming and claiming those bitches in your head,

you’re talking a big game all over the place.

Thinking others will admire you if you keep saying what you’re going to do.

The good news for you is that all those other lazy fuckers who have no intention of every leaving behind a legacy,

will applaud you and make you feel like a rock star.

The bad news for you is that all those focused on creating something epic for themselves, for the world,

have stopped paying attention to you a long time ago.

They’ve learned that actions speak louder than words.

You’re either talking a big game,

or playing it.

Which will it be.

If you want to continue excusing yourself, if you want to cling to your limiting beliefs like a toddler to her safety blanket,

if you want to keep sucking the teat of a system that has you transfixed with codependency,

if you want to go to sleep drunk at night because you KNOW you’re pissing away your potential thrive,

if you want to rest your plate on your belly because you KNOW your heart is empty so you fill your body to the point of explosion,

please unfollow me right now.

I don’t have time to blow smoke up your arse so you can feel better about the pathetic attempts to change in the past.

This is the time to draw a motherfucking line in the sand

and either step over

or sit your arse DOWN!

Today is THAT day.

So if you’re ready,

and committed,

to take your life to a level previously unimagined,

then welcome my friend.

We have some work to do.

First off – you have to figure out what the fuck you TRULY DESIRE.

I’m not talking about wishes, bucket lists and New Years resolutions.

I’m talking the desires that you will DIE for – literally.

It’s about time we stop talking down to obsession and say that ‘Death before DNF’ is simply a joke.

Not in my world.

I lost my fear of death the day I chose to thrive.

Secondly, get some skin in the game, invest in your goal and sign up with a COACH.

No this is not a sales pitch.

If that thought even crossed your mind I won’t work with you anyway.

I say it because I BELIEVE in coaching.

When I commit to a goal, I’m not that egotistical bitch who thinks I can do it all on my own.

Of course I can.

But I don’t have the patience to do it at the pace of a drunken slug.

Coaching gets me there FASTER.

It gives me access to the expertise, to the eagle-view, to the unbiased feedback from someone I trust.

Next you have to IDENTIFY THOSE FEARS that have kept you holding back in the past.

Admitting your fears is NOT a weakness.

It’s one of the most courageous acts of personal development.

If you’re next-level badass, you will IDENTIFY THE SECONDARY GAINS you’ve received in the past from being a little bitch.

YES Sunshine, you GAIN from being a lazy, overweight, addicted, average, stuck, frustrated, victimised, drama queen.

People love you when you’re weak because it makes them feel strong even when their balls dropped and rolled away long time ago.

People give you attention when you’re struggling which alleviates the excruciating pain of loneliness you feel all the time.

People listen to you when you bitch and moan and tell your drama with all the passion of an Oscar winner and you love the attention.

Unless you admit this to yourself, you will continue the self-sabotage so that you can feel ‘special‘.

You have to start INVESTIGATING ALL THOSE BELIEFS that have convinced you that you’re doing your best in the past.

The shit your parents told you, reinforced by the teachers and ordained by the priests.

The truths that you insist is universal even when others tell you it’s not.

You have to start THINKING for yourself and CHOOSE the beliefs that EMPOWER you.

If it takes you away from your desired outcome,

fucking burn that shit.

Release it.

Replace it with something that has you stepping up even higher and taking the action you’ve not taken before.

You have to identify the EMOTIONS you think you will gain from your success.


And here’s the magic ingredient you’ve been missing –

you have to choose those feelings NOW.

“OMG Anel, how the hell am I supposed to feel safe and rich when I have no money in my bank account?  It’s impossible!”

Well Sugar,

I didn’t say it was going to be easy.

For one thing, you’ve let your mind go.

It’s as underdeveloped as an 80-year old couch potato’s arse who’s never trained a day in her life.

You simply have to keep showing up for yourself every single day.

You simply have to choose to feel safe and rich every time you become aware of your thoughts and it’s going south.

It’s hard because you haven’t been doing it.


are you going to fucking do it until you get the results,

or are you going to moan about how hard it is all the time?

Because you’re wasting time and energy on bullshit.

You have to IDENTIFY THE INTERFERENCES AND DISTRACTIONS that’s standing between you and success.

How we do this is by creating an avatar of your successful self and then identify everything that’s out of place,

and then get rid of it.

Replace it with the new energy, objects, words, actions

of your already successful badass motherfucker self.


Not all your boring overwhelming ineffective plans and mile long to-do lists.

Success happens in your mind first.

And it happens NOW.

Not in the new year.

Not next month.


If you’re bored with your own bullshit and seriously committed to doing the work that will get you from where you are to where you’ve secretly wanted to be but fear has had you pussy-footing around, let’s connect.

Only death is inevitable.

Thriving truly is the choice of the brave.

With deep love and appreciation,

your friendly neighbourhood bitch,








Who is fucked up – me or the world?

You might want to grab a cup of coffee or a glass of wine for this one.

I’m not sure where we’re headed…

All I know is that I’m sitting here pondering the current state of affairs as mirrored to me by life,

and I keep coming back to the fact that society as a norm,

is a little fucked up at the moment.

I don’t often read current articles or news or the latest research,

for this exact reason.

Because when I do read it, I sit shaking my head and keep thinking What The Fuck?

I don’t understand when or why the human race decided we all had to be so fucking miserable in order for us to be good people?

When or why did our forefathers and mothers decide that passion, joy, laughter, abundance, thriving,

was a sin?

That we had to believe we’re born bad, needing to pay for this flaw with the rest of our lives,

through suffering,

through heartbreak,

through blame,

and then still be doomed to hell for all eternity because honestly

you’re going to fuck up.

The really scary part for me, is how powerful this programming and conditioning is.

For most of my life I held on to the belief that the happiness of others is more important than my own.

That it’s my duty as a woman to stand by her man, raise her kids, press pause on my ambitions, my desire for adventure, dim my passion for life, be satisfied with whatever crumbs was thrown my way.

Be grateful for the protection of the family unit, even when said unit was suffocating me.

Be grateful for occasional flowers, even when my woman’s heart hungered for deep connection.

Be grateful for bread, when I believe it’s my birthright to eat cake.

I was told that my sexual appetite made me a whore.

That my outspoken nature made me disrespectful.

That my appreciation for the beauty of the human body made me vulgar.

I’ve been told that my ambition made me shallow,

that my relentless hunger for achievement made me incapable of feeling satisfaction.

My empathy made me a cold-hearted bitch because all people want is sympathy.

Actually, according to my cultural upbringing, I should be burned at the stake and my soul doomed to the fires of hell for all eternity.

So I chose to join the masses,

to lie about who I am

about what I want.

I opted for mere existence.

Which seemed to make everyone around me very happy.

And you know, I’m happy when you’re happy.


What a crock of shit!

Except, as I finally broke away from this cult-mentality,

I find myself in a space of true joy for the first time in my life,

and won’t you believe it,


According to psychologists I should be in a period of mourning – not celebration.

What the fuck is wrong with me?

According to tradition I am to be branded as crazy for walking away from a perfectly normal marriage – I should be hanging my head in shame, skulking around in the dark corners – not dancing on the street.

What the fuck is wrong with me?

According to my upbringing I should be working my fingers to the bone, scraping by in fear, saving my pennies – not manifesting money through orgasms.

What the fuck is wrong with me?

What the fuck indeed…

I don’t understand why we should be angry when we opt out of a current state of relationship.

In my humble opinion, no relationship ever ends, it simply changes form.  That person will always be in your heart, your memory, part of your journey.  It’s not like you erase them.

I don’t understand why we should be bitter when our relationships gift us with the most incredible learning – albeit some of it painful.  Your soul asked for this so stop complaining, drop into gratitude and receive.

I don’t understand why people say there are guilty parties and innocent parties – fuck people, do you honestly think that your partner is unfaithful because you’re the ray of sunshine in their lives?

I don’t understand why society praises a woman who lost weight after her bastard of a husband left her – come on, she wasn’t 200 kgs overweight because she was blissfully happy in her life!  He did her a favour yet now she’s the heroine in the tale and he’s the pig?

I don’t understand why we as parents should put our dreams on hold just because we have brought new life into this world – is it any wonder that we’ve raised a generation of mini-gods who think we should bow down to their every command?

I don’t understand why we should save money for a rainy day and invest wisely and skimp by today when we don’t even know if we’re going to be alive tomorrow!!  Why not use the blessings that life has gifted us to suck the joy out of today and then receive more tomorrow?

I don’t understand why a woman gets shamed for sharing her gorgeous body with the world in stunning photography and then have all the witch-hunters call her pornographic – well, what’s wrong with porn anyways if that’s the thing that makes you happy? As far as I’m concerned, if you’re proud of your body and you choose to share it – GO YOU!!  I’m kinda over people praising ‘out of shape’ and shaming those who work their arses off to sculpt their bodies.

I don’t understand why we should go through life being unhappy just because someone decided that kissing arse was more admirable than kicking it.

I don’t understand why we should feel sorry for people when THERE ARE NO VICTIMS!  Liberation comes from taking full responsibility of our lives but as long as we think shit happens TO us instead of FOR us, we walk around with our tails between our legs just so others can pat our heads.

I don’t understand.

Isn’t it maybe time that people stop singing in the choir of doom and gloom and start listening to the rhythm so beautifully created by the pulsing of blood through their veins?

Isn’t it maybe time that our children are not forced to sit in little rows, reciting the declaration of conformity and start questioning everything so they can find their own truth?

Isn’t it maybe time that people stop looking at what everyone else is doing and start minding their own motherfucking business?

Focus on their own lives?

Clean up their own back-yards?

Instead of looking around at who is breaking one of the ten million six hundred and ninety-four rules which has to be upheld for them to be happy?

Quite frankly, this is why I live in my own loony world most of the time.

Every time I take a peak at ‘their’ world, it seems completely insane to me.

So back I go, down the rabbit hole, to where happiness is the normal state of affairs.

Where my drive and hunger keeps me on fire every day.

Where I dance and howl and shake my arse in wild abandon.


dare I say it?

I have FUN!

Yes, I still get triggered – thank the gods of peanut butter.

I still get down – of course!

I’m still alive, aren’t I?

And quite frankly Darling, this journey was never made to be experienced as one-dimensional.

All of it is good for me.

All of it is in service to my growth.

All of it is creating a kaleidoscope of wonderful experiences.

Does that make me fucked up?


But ask yourself this –

would you rather be fucked up according the them,

or fucked up according to your soul?

Only death is inevitable.

Thriving is always the choice of the brave.

With deep love and appreciation,

your crazy-neighbourhood bitch,








Isn’t it about bloody time you stop being so coy?

When did you stop being the baddest bitch on the block?

The one who unapologetically pissed on the ground – leaving her unmistakable mark?

The one who struts in, chin lifted in defiance, daring any and all to challenge your greatness?

When did you stop arriving with a loud roar of pride?

When did they break you in – from wild and untamed to a domesticated slave to others?

Slinking in like a timid little pussy-cat.

Not wanting to make a sound.

Rubbing up against their legs.

Wanting a little attention and then pulling away from their touch.


Do you honestly think that playing down your potential,

your passion,

your magic,

your motherfucking GLORY,

will make any difference in this world?

Do you really believe that your place is in the shadow of the ‘great’ men and women,

who must have been blessed with a foreign gene,

because you don’t believe you have what they do?

Do you seriously want me to stand here and listen to your bullshit,

when you say that you will walk instead of run,

that you will learn more instead of apply,

that you will just wait a little longer,

sleep a little later,

because you’re nothing special.

Do you really expect me to say I’m okay with that?

Do you expect me to say that it’s good enough?


I will not settle for your mediocrity.

When you crawl around with the other slugs,

feeling like you belong,

slipping around in each others slime,

thinking the road is smoother,

not seeing that you’re slipping in death and destruction

of your power

of your creativity

of your joy.

You stupid bitch – wake the fuck up!

Today is that day when the Universe herself has guided you to the piece.

to hear her RAGE

at your vindictive suicide of who you truly are.

Pissing away your authentic self,

saying you’ll do better tomorrow,

next week,

next month,

next year.

Lying through your teeth.

For no decision exists in tomorrow.

Every true decision only applies to right now.


You either decide that you’re done sitting on the stands,

that you’re done practicing with the B-team,

that you’re done holding back


or you stay being a spectator in life.

Oh I know that the spectators think they’re having fun.

Sitting with their friends.

Boozing it up.

Shoving another hot-dog into their fat bellies.

Making the most noise.

Shouting their criticism of how you missed the shot,

of how you’re blind for not seeing what’s coming up behind you,

for not being perfect.

I want you to start understanding that they can sit and scream all they want,


Block out their voices by getting in the ZONE.

The space where time slows down,

where nothing matters,

except the flow.

This is the space where no other is needed.

It’s just you and your Higher Self.

And together you do what you came here to do.

Nothing else matters.

I want you to know today that you have to CLAIM this for yourself.

Nobody else is going to hand it to you.

Nobody else is going to make you do it.

For me, this is what FREE WILL is truly about.

It’s about choosing to THINK for yourself.

To DECIDE who you truly want to be.

What you want to stand for.

How you desire to live.

And then be UNAPOLOGETIC in stating this loud and proud.

It’s up to you to overshoot,

fall flat on your face,

get back up,

and keep going.

It’s up to you to leave behind the social conditioning of shame,

of your place in the corner,

thinking that nice people are better than those who choose to rise above the masses.

It’s up to you to admit to yourself that you LOVE to win.

That you LOVE the hustle.

That you LOVE overcoming obstacles.

That you LOVE your body.

That you LOVE your essence.

And that you fucking DESERVE to be the baddest bitch on the block.

As someone who has kissed average arse for most of her life,

let me tell you that as a born achiever you will eventually find yourself so low that you won’t want to get out of bed in the morning.

You will find yourself sobbing in the bathroom, holding a towel over your mouth so your kids won’t hear your heart breaking into a million pieces.

Of self-loathing.

Of self-disgust.

Not being able to look yourself in the mirror.

As someone who clung to those who choose the nine to five existence of ‘normality’,

thinking that ambition is evil,

that it makes me a freak,

I can honestly tell you that the madness of claiming yourself is a celebration compared to the insanity of bowing down.

Look, no two people are the same.

I would never tell you what to do or what is right for you.

That’s up to you to decide.

I just think it’s about fucking time you DECIDE who you truly want to be.

How you truly want to live.

I’m sharing with you that I’ve been the nice girl

it sucked the life and soul out of me,

and I’m choosing to be the bitch.

Because Beauty IS the Beast.

Are you courageous enough to let her out of the cage of your mind?

Only death is inevitable.

Thriving for those who desire to howl, is always a courageous choice.

With love and appreciation,







Turn haters into peanut butter to your jam!


You say you’re here to bring change.

To disrupt the system.

To heal the sick, poisoned masses.

You say you’re here to BE the motherfucking change.

And then…

you shrink before them.

The haters.

Those who publicly criticise your point of view.

Spewing their venomous acid onto your work.


in the absence of those who publicly oppose you,

you say that nobody likes your articles,

there’s no comments on your videos,

which must mean that nobody is paying attention.

In the absence of validation,

you stop showing up.


Let’s take a moment to pause and take a different angle:

You say you want to OPPOSE the norm, the popular view,

that you want to speak YOUR truth,

and then,

if there’s no applause,

if you don’t get the recognition that says you’re singing in harmony with another’s choir,

you want to sit down and keep quiet?

I’m going to give you my two cents worth on this, and you can make of it what you will.

First of all,

when I made the decision to take a stand against the machine,

the system, which in my opinion, has taken ancient wisdom and power through connection, honour, health, the Universe,

and raped it beyond recognition.

Turning values into money-making institutions,

which quite frankly

doesn’t give two fucks about humanity,

I didn’t do it to get the agreement of others.

I didn’t do it for the little children.

I didn’t even do it for my children.

I did it because the system repulses me.

From an airy-fairy perspective, I BELIEVE it’s what I came here to do.

When I made the decision to use the technological advances and social platforms available to us at this time,

I didn’t do it to get a cult following,

or hundreds of likes on my posts.

If that was my driving force, I would have felt defeated ages ago.

I have never believed in playing the ‘numbers-game’.

Lives are NOT numbers.

One life is as important to me as a million!

I do it because I TRUST that every time I post, someone, somewhere, takes a moment to pause and re-evaluate their life.

I don’t need to know them or their specific circumstances.

When I made the decision to be fully seen,

with all my weirdness,



not always a pretty picture,

I didn’t do it because I wanted others to love me and tell me that I’m okay.

And yes,

the first haters stung like a queen bee,

leaving my sobbing in a heap.

I couldn’t comprehend how strangers could be so horrible when quite frankly,

they don’t know me.

You can call me naive,

but it would never even cross my mind to do that to another.

Once my tears dried and the snot stopped running into my mouth,

I went inside,

to my heart,

to my truth,

and I made peace with the fact that if I am committed to staying true to my path,

true to my beliefs,

true to my purpose,

true to me,

then I must be willing to take the punches.

I also knew that I had to reframe this shit for myself,

because I embrace pain,

but I defy suffering.

I decided to turn the haters into the peanut butter to my jam.

YOM YOM YOM bitches.

I put them into my smoothies, on my toast, I lick the spoon,

and use that which they think will slow me down,

to fuel my passion,

my drive,

my determination.

But who gives a damn about me?

I want to know about YOU!

I want you to sit your sweet self down and do some honest introspection.

To stop saying the shit that you think will make you sound like a good person.

Nobody will know.

This is between you and you.

It’s time to be honest about how you truly want to live your life.

Do you honestly want to be a leader, a disruptor, a rebel?

Are you willing to be alone in the dark for a decade before one lone howl resonates under the full moon?

Do you truly desire to bring change?

Not for others.

But because you CAN’T TOLERATE the status quo.

Are you willing to continue showing up day after day,

without public applause,

despite the opposition which is bound to happen?

If not,

if you just want it easy,

if you just want to fly under the radar,

paying the bills,

living for the weekend,

go on a good holiday,


There’s nothing wrong with wanting that!

Just be honest with yourself.

What’s causing pain and suffering is when people are saying what they think others want to hear,

even taking some of the action,

but because they’re out of integrity,

the cracks in their souls are tearing them apart.

It’s fucking bullshit.

And let me say as well,

that if you’re still reading,

and you’re still nodding,

if you feel the resolve building inside of you,

a passion that is blazing hot,

if you feel the call to be a leader louder than ever before,

then toughen the fuck up Sunshine.

We don’t have time to pussy-foot around anymore.


Your time is NOW.

And you are ready to do whatever the hell you came here to do.

Get off your arses,

take to the stages,

bring your own lights,

and let your voices be heard.

Not for the millions,

but for the one.

And don’t you dare sit down again.

Death is walking right beside you.

If you close your eyes, you can feel her shadow lightly touching your arm.

But you’re not dead yet.

You can still choose to thrive.

What’s your choice?

With love and appreciation,






Do you even remember what it feels like to thrive??


Literally and figuratively.

Sweat pouring down me whilst writing to you.

The passion inside feeling like an out of control furnace,

and this time around,

I don’t fear the fire.



What’s happened?

Ten years of mindset work has kicked my arse, next level.

Peeling back the layers of bullshit programmed into my subconscious mind since the day I was born.

Programming of how I should appear in the world in order for me to fit in – and be happy.

Programming of how I should act in the world in order for me to fit in – and be happy.

Programming of how I should speak in the world in order for me to fit in – and be happy.

Programming of who I should submit to, claimed by another, the way we’re told it works in the world in order for me to fit in – and be happy.

Except all this programming belongs to another era.

Another generation.

One that believes in struggle,


ticking boxes,

to-do lists.

A generation who believes that success is determined by title and money.

A generation who believes that for us to be worth-while, we have to be in service to the machine feeding off the creative human soul to control the masses through fear.

I respect, empathise with, and appreciate this generation.

But I am NOT part of it.

In fact,

I choose to be part of no generation.

I choose to be part of no dogmatic thought-line.

I choose to think for myself, thank you very much.

What I’ve discovered in the process of peeling back, is that I don’t play well at half-mast anything!

It’s either full-out or nothing at all.

In all areas of my life.

I have no desire to only focus on business, or only focus on fitness, or only focus on my spiritual self, or only focus on relationships.


For me, it’s about creating that massive motherfucking vision where ALL areas are at my BEST.

I get to define MY BEST and how I choose to experience each area.

What does my empire look like whilst I’m standing on the podium and creating magic and laughing at his jokes?

What am I thinking about whilst building my legacy and honing the machine I call my body and connecting to my higher self and caressing his hand?

What do I believe whilst crafting a new program and eating my lunch and writing in my journal and receiving his message?

I’ve learned that as long as I settled in one area of my life, actually let’s just drop the  bullshit,

whilst I was holding back in one area of my life because I was choosing to surround myself with average people,

I was holding back in all areas of my life.

I would show up in one area with some authority and truth,

whilst wiping the shit off my mouth from kissing arse in another.

It stinks!

And it’s not worth it.

Looking back in my journals, one line appears again and again –

what does it feel like to be truly happy?

As a born achiever, it’s simply IMPOSSIBLE to be TRULY happy,

to TRULY thrive,

as long as you’re holding yourself back.

Be honest – the only reason you’re doing it is because you want them to like you.

You want them to think you’re nice.

Oh please Darling (eyes rolling out loud),

we’re not NICE!

We’re not.

Most people look at us and think we’re cold-hearted, selfish bitches and bastards.



I know I’m not a nice person.

I don’t even like nice people.

I find them too sweet.

Like someone putting eight spoons of sugar in my coffee – I take mine black and bitter.

And what happens when we sit in the circle of nice people,

is we feel guilty for the thoughts inside our minds.

Wanting to push harder.

Hungry for victory.

Loving the hustle.

The pain.

OMG the exquisite pain that comes from pushing beyond your preconceived limitations.  Is there anything better?

We feel guilty for the fact that we can’t tolerate talking about shit that doesn’t matter!

Instead we start drinking just so we can switch off and pretend to fit in whilst bored to tears.

Yip I used to do that too.

We watch TV just so we know what the hell they’re talking about when everyone is raging about the latest show.

Even when we have to stuff our mouths full of chocolate, pop corn, ice cream, whatever we find in the cupboard just so we can contain the restlessness in our bodies.

Our bodies who wants to move.


Who wants to push.

To exhaustion.

Oh, the thrill of the interval that leaves you panting for breath.

Muscles screaming.

Lungs burning.



And you know if you were being honest with yourself,

you’d admit that the increased saliva in your mouth indicates you’ll thrive here too.

What will it take for you to remove collar and leash from your throat Darling?

To take out the gag and speak your truth?

To stand up and run away from the stifling crowd?

Reclaiming your wild, beautiful, hungry, creative, badass, full throttle self?



Or are you going to just patiently waiting for life to press the reset button for you?

Are you going to just sit there and hope that someone is going to come save you?

Are you going to just give up, hang your head, seeing your flabby tummy bulging over your pants, closing your eyes in resignation?

Are you?

Are you going to go crawl into your mommy’s arms and ask her to make the nasty lady go away?

Because we both know that you can keep drowning out my voice, but your un-lived potential is festering cancer eating up your insides.

That’s what happens when a born achiever chooses to fit in.

But hey, it’s your journey.

I’m simply sharing that it took me a decade to break through this shit, and it doesn’t have to take you as long.

The MOST powerful lesson I’ve learned that I can share with you today,

is you have to DECIDE that YOU’RE ENOUGH.

That’s it.

Just fucking decide you deserve to be happy for no other reason than your existence.

Only death is inevitable my friend.

And life is so amazing when you choose to be yourself.

Will you choose to thrive?

With deep love and appreciation of your true, wild, badass self,


PS:  I promise I will never be a nice coach, but, if you’re ready to be supported by an authentic, driven and zero tolerance for bullshit coach, let’s connect.





Will my madness upset you enough to inspire introspection?

As I headed out on my own,

lazy mist swirling above the lake,

enjoying the silence as thousands around me still lay sleeping,

I dropped into deep appreciation for who I choose to be today.

It’s been a decade since first making the decision to break free from the cult of mediocrity,

to reclaim my desire to achieve,

my love of the hustle,

my drive to always be, do and have more.

It’s been a decade of training my body, re-training my mind, re-connecting with Source.

It’s been the best motherfucking decade of my life.

And it keeps getting better and better.

Make no mistake,

it’s been, and continues to be, a journey.

Nothing happens overnight.

It’s far from done.

In fact,

I’m only getting started.

I rise before dawn to evaluate where I’m at.

To unearth the bullshit that resides within the dark recesses of my subconscious mind.

To go to war with the fears that generations of prosecuted badasses have infused into my genes.

I’m still learning how to overcome the fear of abandonment by others as I start showing you more of who I am,

the crazy,

the different,

the incredible love,

finally knowing that others will always abandon me when I don’t dance to their tunes.

But it’s impossible to stay true to my own beat when theirs is so fucking slow that I want to SCREAM!!!!

I’ve also come to learn the difference between being alone and being lonely.

Let me tell you Darling, when I was surrounded by the wrong people, I felt lonely AF.

I choose to peal back the layers and show you that there’s so much more to choose from than they told you.

I choose to stand naked in front of faceless strangers,

open to their scrutiny,

open to their judgement,

because you never know who needed to see my perky 46 year old arse to feel a flicker of inspiration today.

And no,

I’m not doing this for them,

I’m doing this for ME!

Because I’ve come to the realisation that just because I’m different,

doesn’t mean that I’m broken or faulty or wrong.

So let me share a little more about me, with the intention of inviting introspection for you.

I choose to be committed – I don’t set negotiable goals that I approach with fluffy energy.  I’m so bored with people talking about New Year’s Resolutions, bucket lists, hardship, victimhood.  I’m so over people telling me they can’t.  I’m so done listening to people who say they’re trying.

Stop trying FFS.


Commit to achieve REGARDLESS of how long it takes or how hard it feels or how many times you fall flat on your face.


Or step aside.

I choose to be honourable – I don’t need a legal contract for me to feel obliged to follow through.  When I say I’ll do it, it’s fucking DONE!  I choose to keep my word to myself around everything.  Doing the run.  Pushing on the ride.  Drinking the water.  Launching the program.  I’ve learned a long time ago that when people break ‘unimportant’ promises to themselves, and the word promise is not needed, they stop believing themselves, they stop believing IN themselves.  These are the people who want to have their attorneys dot the i’s and cross the t’s.  They are the ones who don’t trust you because they don’t trust themselves.  And they shouldn’t – because if you say you’re going to do something and you DON’T, you’re choosing to be a goddamned liar.  Plain and simple.

Don’t tell me it doesn’t matter.

It’s energy.

Everything matters.

I choose to be warrior – I don’t need a knight in shining armour to come save me from my doomed existence as a woman!  Just because I have a vagina doesn’t mean I want the protection of a man for me to be safe in this world.  I don’t need a man to make me feel complete.  I’m #sorrynotsorry to say that most men (and women) I’ve encountered in life choose not to have the balls to hold on with my pace, my focus, my drive, my resilience.  They end up being carried on my back and I just don’t have time or tolerance for that anymore.  Not every girl wants the fairy tale.  Yes, I completely agree that for millions of women THIS is the cherry on top of their chocolate Sunday and I’m not making that wrong – for them.  But it’s about time for society to acknowledge there’s also a different breed of men and women – those who choose to be warriors.

You’ll either get this or not so I’m not going to explain any further.

I choose to be responsible – I’m not talking about THEIR definition of responsible which normally means dimming myself for the victims around me.  I’m not talking about THEIR definition of responsible which normally entails me living as if there’s a limit on how much I can achieve, receive, grow and expand.  I choose to be responsible for ME, for MY LIFE, for EVERYTHING in my life.  I take responsibility and in the process I receive FREEDOM.

I choose to be authentic – I completely understand that who I am is not approved of by the patriarchal society where a woman should know her place and speak like a lady, where the hustle has been made a sin, where embracing sweat, struggle, tears and breakthroughs has been made crazy.  For years I’ve played their games, wearing their masks, showing up in a pleasing manner as a ‘nice’ woman.

But what the fuck is the point of it all?

If we can’t show up FOR ourselves, AS ourselves, surely we’re nothing more than glorified slaves.

We talk about living in a free country yet you sit in the prison of your mind.

Terrified of leaving the cage.

In case you fly higher than the rest.

It was exhausting to fit in.

It was draining to pretend.

This is who I am.

You don’t have to like me.


This weekend past I celebrated my 46th birthday.

I celebrated 46 years of contrast.

Grateful of the fact that for a big part of my journey I’ve chosen hell SO THAT I can now appreciate my choice of heaven.

I celebrated 46 years of learning.

Always questioning the teachings of those whose words didn’t match their actions.

Observing others and myself with interest.

So that I may reach a point where I get to choose wisdom.

I celebrated 46 years of life.

In the true meaning of the word – not existence.

If you’re sitting there today and you’re dissatisfied with what you see around you,

I want you to know it’s okay to feel this way.

It’s okay to look into the mirror and feel disappointed,

knowing that you are so much more than what your physical form is showing.

It’s okay because when you acknowledge these feelings in yourself, you can finally start being honest with yourself.

You can finally take the time to figure out who you are, what’s truly important to you, what you choose to believe instead of taking old handed-down truths of others at face value.

The question is – do you want to?

Do you want to give yourself the opportunity to feel true happiness?

Even if that means going against everything you’ve been taught up till now.

Even if that means that others will lash out and probably leave you.

Happiness requires sacrifice my friend.

Sacrifice means leaving behind that which is of a lower vibration so that you may receive that which is of a higher vibration.

Which is why only death is inevitable.

Thriving truly is the choice of the brave.

With love and appreciation,









How much longer will you choose mediocrity?

You have a choice to make.

Every single day.

You can choose to listen to the bullshit.

The fears of those who will never rise to the ranks of legendary.

Those who choose to stay hidden in the folds of the masses.

Little cowards whispering their actual truth when nobody is around.

Shrunk up testicles keeping them from their true path.

Knowing that this is all they will ever choose to be.

And those voices are not only around you.

They have ingrained their lies into your subconscious mind.

From the moment you gave your first holler entering this dimension,

they’ve told you what to say, what to think, how to feel, who to be,

for you to belong.

You can choose to stay within the cult of mediocrity.

They will embrace you as a long-lost lover.

They will hand you a beer and celebrate your fall.

They will cheer your very presence.

As if…

it fucking matters.

OMG it’s so easy to slide into this life of mere existence.

Everything you see around you applauds this philosophy.


it’s a motherfucking illusion.

It’s the system that keeps your wings clipped,

that keeps you gagged,

that keeps you under control,

to be a pawn in the game of those who choose to rule humanity through fear.


You have another choice to make.


Telling you to stop the insanity.

To step out of the fucking line.

To run away from the crowd as fast as you can.

To reclaim your motherfucking


It’s the choice where YOU DECIDE what you TRULY desire in this lifetime.

YOU DECIDE what you will be remembered for.

And your children are NOT your legacy Darling.

Don’t you DARE put that shit on your kids.



YOU DECIDE who you leave behind

and yes

no more bitches on your back.

YOU DECIDE what you will believe

and yes

you get to believe you are powerful enough to COMMAND the universal forces.

YOU DECIDE what you will do

and yes

fuck their little logical steps and boxes, you get to go from zero to thousand in one magnificent quantum leap.

YOU DECIDE who you will be

and yes

that includes reclaiming all of those parts that they have shamed and broken off and scattered to the four winds.

You get to reintegrate.

You get to walk proud.

You get to speak your truth and let it land where it will.

Some will hear the passion in your voice and they will find the courage within themselves to rise once more.

They will be your true brothers-in-arms.

Others will hear the passion and it will feel like acid dripping onto their fear-drenched torsos.

They will turn on you.

Hissing their fury and disgust.

They will sling their well-rehearsed slogans thinking it will bring you to your knees.

Not ever understanding,

that for those of us who have reached the cross-roads,

the point of no return,

ever sliding back into existence is not an option.

We, who rise before dawn to train and hone our bodies and minds.

We, who get out of the way and allow purpose to guide our actions.

We, who have bled, who have cried, who have gone to the dark hell within and returned stronger than ever before.

Today I speak to you,

and I want you to know that every day you choose mediocrity,

choose fear,

choose to slow down,

choose to shame your drive and your ambition,

choose to stay in that toxic relationship,

choose to keep the false-friends,

you’re choosing to play Russian roulette with your true purpose.

Thinking there will be plenty of time to get your shit together.

Lying to yourself that drinking till you drop is fun when we both know you’re simply attempting to numb out the pain.

Lying to yourself that playing those childish games is stimulating when we both know you’re simply attempting to escape the mess that you call your life.

You don’t have to.

Not a moment longer.

You can sit here, right now,

and you can decide


You can step over the line and you can allow yourself to reclaim your power.

Your true power.

As creator.

As artist.

As achiever.

As badass motherfucker who walk raging into the storm

for nature will bow down to you

when you stop cowering before her.

You might not think it’s an easy choice,

but choice is choice Darling.

What will it be?

Will you go out another year, feeling like a pussy, getting drunk on the 31st of December along with all the other little people,

or will you realign yourself with your true potential.

Activating your mind-set.

Training your body-set.

Connecting your soul-set.


Only death is inevitable.

Thriving is the choice of the few brave enough to revolt against mediocrity.

With deep love and appreciation of you,