As long as fear is your driver, you are the slave.

Yes, we all feel fear.

Especially those of us who set those big mother-trucking goals.

Fear is a constant companion.

She is there when you wake in the morning.

Waiting for her moment to slink up to you, wrap her seductive arms around you, French kissing you deeply.

And you can anticipate her.

You can wake up ready for her.

You can choose to kiss her right back with so much passion that she’s the one left breathless.

Then,

and only then,

she becomes your ally.

However this is not what I witness in most people.

Instead I see people fearing fear.

Dreading waking up because they know she is sitting patiently waiting for them to regain consciousness.

They constantly say they want to be fearless.

Thereby implying they’re marinated in fear.

Then they wonder why they are not achieving their desired goals.

They are frustrated by their lack of results.

They don’t understand why they are taking action every single day but the needle is not shifting.

The reason is because fear is their main driver and they are the slave.

You’ve heard this a gazillion times before Sweetpea, whatever you focus on you create more of.  Whatever energy you are vibrating on you attract more of that as evidence.

So if you’re constantly terrified, if fear is the foundation of your goals, you only create more shit that keeps you stuck in fear.

You can set the most amazing goals in the world, they can look wonderful, inspirational, however if you don’t take the time to figure out the driver for this goal you’re screwed.

If you’re currently going through a particularly challenging time and you’ve set a goal thinking it will turn things around for you, the goal that will save you, the one that will make it all better, that’s FEAR baby.

There’s a sense of distress and you will bring that crap to your beliefs, your actions, your words, everything.

How do you know this is true?

You ask yourself why this goal is so important to you and the answer smacks of desperation.

A ray of hope to hold on.

Maybe the goal will make you feel better, or you think it will make you look better, get you more applause and recognition.

I’m sorry to tell you this but if that’s your driver, and if it truly is a kickass goal, you’re doomed.

Because the transformational goals DEMAND a big why.

One that takes you by your gut, it rips up into your heart, it raises you to a new perspective which you refuse to let go of.

Those transformational goals DEMAND sacrifice.

And if you’re already trembling in fear and scarcity you will hold on to what you know with everything you’ve got – even when what you know is fucking you over.  Even those codependent relationships that has you shrinking smaller every day.  Even when you know that bottle of wine makes you weak, your thoughts foggy, has you losing moments of time.

Those transformational goals DEMAND that you grow.

And growth, in my experience, is uncomfortable AF and scary and yes, at times it’s painful.

My pain is part of my story and I wear it with pride.

Those transformational goals DEMAND that you take full responsibility for your life, for your creations, for YOU.

That means YOU and only you raise your standards to a new level of excellence and you fucking REFUSE to ever bow down again.

You leave those fuckers behind who ever made you feel shit, who made you doubt your power, your sanity, your worth.

You surround yourself with the real players even though you don’t feel worthy in the beginning, even though you feel uncomfortable to start with, even though you feel slightly embarrassed at the outset.  And then you work your sweet ass off, learning from them, using them as inspiration of what is possible, modelling their behaviour until you find what works for you.

It’s up to YOU!

Nobody else is going to save you.

Nobody else is going to do the work for you.

Yes, you can have the best coaches teaching you the best strategies in the world, but if YOU don’t implement with gusto, if YOU don’t bring your A-game, if YOU don’t load it with intensity, you will NOT show the results.

Do you think any of this happens when you slink around in the shadow of fear Darling?

Not a fuck!

I wake and face my fear head-on.

I dare her to take me back to hell.

I have been there before.

I have been burnt to the ground by the fires.

Now I am the fucking fire bitch.

And still I rise.

Fear has nothing on my passion.

I am driven by SOUL.

I am driven by PURPOSE.

I am driven by the fact that I came here to lead, to inspire, to wake up the masses who are ready to thrive, who are hungry for change, who are willing to make conscious decisions and take the results on as their own.

I will not be stopped by fear.

Previously she had me whispering.

She had me pissing my wetsuit.

She had me crawling on the floor, unable to breathe, terrified to live.

And still I rise.

I have no desire to live without fear.

I welcome her into my life.

I use her as an indicator of where my growth lies.

But not without reconnecting with my drive.

Every

single

morning.

I reconnect.

I prepare myself for whatever is thrown my way.

I get dispondent at times.

I reconnect.

I get tired.

I reconnect.

I get frustrated.

I reconnect.

I get furious.

I reconnect.

Always coming back to why the hell I set the goal in the first place.

And if it doesn’t light my ass on fire,

I’ve set the wrong goal.

Back to the drawing board.

If your foundation is shit, your results will be shit.

Take more time with the ground work.

Figuring out the right goals with the unbreakable drivers!

Successful people know their why.

Living with fear VS living in fear.

It’s a choice.

Only death is inevitable.

Thriving is the choice of the brave.

With love,

Anel

PS:  Legendary is coming!

 

You’re either going to do what it takes, or you’re not!

I had some real talk with myself this morning.

Shit, it’s astounding just how much we can deceive ourselves.

How we can fill up our time to hide the fact that we’re not really showing the fuck up.

Well, enough and no more.

Here’s my truth:

If you’re a high achiever, you have EVERYTHING you need inside of you to achieve WHATEVER the fuck you DECIDE on.

But you have to be willing to wake up,

show up,

do the work,

relentlessly,

consistently,

day in and day out,

until you cross the finish line.

Understanding that it’s not done UNTIL you have succeeded.

You keep focused

You keep eliminating distractions.

You keep delving into your mind and rip out the bullshit limitations you’re setting on yourself.

You keep taking off your speckled glasses and see what’s really in front of you.

You keep taking the knocks and you get your fucking ass back up off the floor and you move forward.

I don’t give a damn how tired you are.

I don’t want to hear how much it hurts.

HOW MUCH DO YOU WANT IT?

Because let me tell you my friend, there’s millions of victims out there who are bitching and moaning all day long about how much they want to be rich and have a six-pack and be happy but that’s all they do – TALKING THEMSELVES AND THEIR AMBITIONS TO DEATH.

And just because you get angry at your lack of results doesn’t mean that you’re not being a little bitch.

ARE YOU DOING THE WORK?

Consistently?

And for how long have you been doing it every single day?

Because if you tell me for a month or two months and you’re frustrated because clearly it’s not working, I’m going to bitch-slap you.

That is loser talk.

Every high achiever knows that the real results come from months and months of dedication, obsession about their goals.

They understand that it’s about showing up regardless of how they feel today, how full the moon is, what crises Mercury is creating.

They understand that you can feel angry, exhausted, terrified, down and out, so they work with a coach.

Why?

Because for those of us serious about our goals, setting ourselves up for success is a non-negotiable.

I know I’m very human and I, like everyone else, have my dark days.  I know that I hit the bottom repeatedly and when I have my pity party,

when I’m tired,

when I feel like I just don’t know anymore,

my coach looks at me with compassion and understanding and then he kicks my mothertrucking ass by throwing me off the cliff.

Fly or crash Hunny-bunch.

Fly or crash.

He never saves me, he never pities me, he never tells me the one truth and answer to all my obstacles.

Because it’s not his journey, not his goals, it’s mine.

And for me to become the one strong enough to live at the vibration of my goals, I need the strength in my wings to fly!

So I start flapping those babies harder than ever before.

I go into my core,

I go into my power,

I go into my darkness if I have to,

and I find whatever I need to find.

To break through,

and then

I RISE!

Maybe you’re not like me,

maybe you read this and you think I’m completely insane.

You might think that poor me, I still haven’t figured it out, how easy it’s supposed to be, that I don’t have to work so hard, that I’m going to burn out.

That’s because we’re different.

You’re not right for me and I’m not right for you.

I was born for the push, for the grind, for the hustle.

I thrive when I push my limits again and again, lungs on fire, legs screaming, mind shutting down and going into the zone.

I have no desire to automate my life – I desire to LIVE it.

On the other hand, maybe you’re one of us.

One of the insanely passionate, dedicated to keep breaking the glass ceilings, to keep unearthing your wisdom, so that you may show up as your best version self.

If you are, I want you to decide today Darling – are you going to achieve your goals, or not?

It’s a decision nobody can make for you.

And if you decide that it’s done, I want you to cap your pity-parties to one hour max.

Yes, you can wake up feeling like shit, look at that bank balance and burst into tears,

Go there.

Cry.

Get despondent.

And then, when your hour is up, you wipe off those tears, you blow out that snot, and you pull your shoulders back.

Go run and move that shit out of your system.

Set the intention that by the time you get back you will have reconnected with your why, with your passion, with your purpose.

Decide that you will know the next step to take and then COMMIT to taking that action regardless of how scary it is.

Just fucking do it!

There’s no more time to waste.

Humanity is picking up the pace.

Those who have chosen to thrive is moving at warp speed and they’re not going to wait around for you.

Those who are choosing to stay behind is drinking and eating more than ever before.  People are dropping like flies and still, you want to drag your feet????

Are you fucking kidding me?

Decide TODAY!

Decide NOW!

What are you committing to?

And then, show me!

I have no desire to hear about your ambitions and your commitment.

Action trumps words every single time.

The raw truth is that either you’re going to leave it all out on the floor, give more than you ever thought humanly possible, get up time and again, shoulder the failures, course adjust, until you succeed,

or you’re not.

You’re going to give up – and that my darling is a choice!

Only death is inevitable.

Thriving is the choice of the brave.

With love,

Anel

PS:  Legendary is coming!

 

 

Are you taking the time to figure out how you want to feel?

Think about it for a moment –

We are here, in this time-space dimension, to have an experience.

For me, experience is all about the feeling I’m left with.

Whether it’s of an event or a person or a thing – it’s never about the physicality but instead about the feeling.

Which means all of this, this journey, this crazy-ness, revolves around emotions.

Emotions are not set in stone.

We have a spectrum of emotions available to us, and at any given moment we get to choose which one we want to pin to ourselves.

Regardless of what is happening around us.

This is why there can be a thousand people in a room, listening to a single speaker saying specific words, yet one thousand different experiences will be had.

This is powerful shit Darling.

When you start understanding this, your life can transform in an instance!

So why then have we given away this precious gift to a bunch of stupid rules that make no sense?

Things like we should only feel certain emotions which has been defined as good, and the rest is bad, to be avoided at all cost.

In fact, the insanity of this labelling of bad emotions have lead to an epidemic of mental diseases.  When you feel deeply and it’s not a ‘nice’ feeling, all of a sudden you’re given a pill and referred to therapy for help.

No emotions will be denied.  So the more you make it bad, the more you make it dark, the darker you will feel.

From here it’s a slippery slope downwards as society has conveniently turned emotions into badges of ‘treatable conditions’ so instead of just feeling down and depressed, you now have depression.  Instead of shitting yourself you have anxiety.  Taking it a step further now you ARE depressed.  You ARE anxious.  It’s become an identity.

We’re told to fear the emotions, as feeling too much will lead to your self-destruction.

Hell, we’re even told that we shouldn’t feel TOO happy, because apparently we can’t cope with that and will end up committing suicide.

Do you see that it’s not the emotions that’s killing us but the stories we tell ourselves about the emotions?

One of my personal favourites has to be that we should stop being so emotional in our work as it’s unprofessional.

You know, it’s professional to go sit in the pub with the team, but heaven forbid you should drop the F-Bomb out of passion.

Why are we choosing to deny our emotions and we’re willing to literally poison ourselves with pills, booze, drugs, food, whatever it takes to dull the pain of feelings denied, instead of embracing emotions as part of our wonderful experience of life with a richness that we all deserve?

Why are we choosing to dull our intuition and our inner knowing which is only available to us when we freely FEEL our emotions, our gut instincts, all in the name of looking ‘professional’ or ‘grown-up’ or ‘normal’?

Thank the blessing which is peanut butter that I decided to stop being normal.

Because normal at the moment is fucking vanilla.

I never signed up for a vanilla experience of life!

I came here wanting a double chocolate, espresso, fudge swirl with a hint of chilli on the side experience.

And that entails a myriad of emotions – all of them good!

I desired a journey of contrast and I’m more than happy to have gone and to still go to the mothertrucking bottom of the barrel when it means that I also get to go play in the clouds!

Plus, the further along I go on my path, the more I realise that I am in control!

That’s right Gorgeous,

I, and you, have free will!

That means we get to decide how we feel!

We get to decide how we experience people, relationships, events, countries, finances, toys, all of it.

Most people are simply doing so unconsciously.

And because they’ve denied the power and rightness of their emotions, they have forgotten what is available to them.

Most people don’t even know the words to describe accurately how they are feeling so instead they just stick to the same-old-same-old shit they’ve been using for however long.

They tend to use the ‘flavours of the moment’ which is so readily available from our friends the advertisers.

When last have you gone onto Google and searched feeling words?

Abundant, accepting, acclaimed, accommodating, accomplished, accountable, accurate, achieving, acknowledged, activated, active, adaptable, admirable, admired, adored, adoring, adventurous, agreeable, affluent, ageless, agile, alert, alive, alluring, altruistic, amazed, amazing, ambitious, amiable, amicable, amused, amusing, adorable, adoring, angelic, animated, anticipation, appealing, appreciated, appreciative, appreciating, aroused, assertive, astonished, awakened, awesome.

On and on – the list is HUGE!!

Quite frankly, if you don’t take the time to figure out what is available to you, of course you’re going to stick to the old tried and tested mad, bad, sad and glad.

BORING!!

Plus, in my experience, grossly inaccurate.

Of course, it always comes down to the quality of life you desire.

If you’re happy with average, if you’re content to just mosey along, then good for you.

But if you’re determined to THRIVE, it’s time you put in the effort Darling.

Not doing the same boring stuff you’ve been doing for years.

Not the to-do lists.

Not the dictated behaviours someone decided hundreds of years ago you need to display in order for you to be a successful woman, wife, mother, lover.

It’s time to get real.

It’s time to get creative.

It’s time to remember!

Who you are.

At your core.

What is truly available to you.

And the fact that you’re one POWERFUL creator with EVERYTHING you need already INSIDE of you.

It’s Monday, what better day to start doing it differently?

My challenge for you, should you accept, is to take this week and go immerse yourself in feeling words!

Create a HUGE mother of a list of everything – the good, the bad and the extraordinary.

Start looking at these words.

FEEL these words.

Feel the energy of the words.

And start using NEW words to more accurately describe your experience of all that is your life.

Once you’re happy you’ve immersed yourself in this, I invite you to then start CHOOSING your feelings by choosing your words.

Around everything in your life!

How do you desire to feel about your body?

How do you desire to feel about your relationships?

How do you desire to feel about your purpose even if you haven’t quite figured out what it is?

How do you desire to feel about your home environment?

How do you desire to feel about your profession?

How do you desire to feel about your money?

How do you desire to feel about your toys?

How do you desire to feel about the Universe and Creator?

How do you desire to feel about yourself?

And then, just fucking choose!

Only death is inevitable.

Thriving is a powerful choice for the brave.

With love,

Anel

PS:  Are you one of my soulmate clients?

Are you one of the few who are choosing to find the courage to thrive?

Are you one of the few who are ready to choose happiness?

Is there a spark inside of you that’s just had enough of all the bullshit that’s been fed to you all your life even when it has never felt right?

My mission is to liberate men and women from the fog of socialisation which quite frankly has imprisoned millions into mediocrity.

And I fucking LOVE my work.

Nothing gives me greater pleasure than creating a space of non-judgement and safety where people like you can finally remember who you are, what you truly desire, and then scrape back all those limiting beliefs and pain-inducing stories that has kept you stuck.

If you promised yourself that 2018 was going to be your year of freedom, joy, success and liberation, but you look at the fact that we’re almost halfway through and you’re not quite there yet, I invite you to connect with me today.

No you don’t need me.

You don’t need anyone.

However I BELIEVE in the power of coaching.

For more than a decade I’ve witnessed the transformation that comes from an outside perspective – in the lives of hundreds of clients as well as in my own.

Yes, I believe and therefor I work with my own coaches.

No I don’t need a coach.

I CHOOSE to work with a coach because I believe I deserve that level of support.

If you’re choosing a new level of support for yourself, because you desire accelerated growth, a fresh perspective, a high level of accountability, drop me a mail and let’s design the perfect plan for your unique journey.

 

 

 

 

 

 

Those hidden opportunities for expansion

Life is such a wonderful opportunity for growth.

If we choose to see it as such.

I have to admit, I haven’t always experienced it as such.

Like so many others, I have used social constructs to measure my sense of self-worth.

I used the medals and the certificates and my bank account as a reflection of what I deserve, what I am worthy of.

Whether I’m a success or a failure.

Note that I didn’t say I failed, I defined myself as a failure.

I took it on as an identity.

And it felt horrible.

I felt horrible.

Ashamed.

Contracting each time I didn’t make top grades, didn’t receive the award, wasn’t able to pay my blessing received on time.

I would hang my head in shame, berating myself for not doing better, not being better.

After all, I am a high achiever.

Anything less than excellence of myself was simply not acceptable.

However, when we move into an energy of contraction, when we take events and circumstances on as our identity, it’s really fucking hard to find creative solutions or innovative ways in which to grow beyond said event.

All because of shame.

How tragic that we live in a culture where human worth is defined by anything other than the beauty of who you are?

Your uniqueness.

Your gifts.

Your passion.

Your laughter.

Your tears.

Honey, fuck shame!

Seriously.

I came to the realisation that no event could ever define me.

Not my successes.

Not my failures.

Instead, I get to define myself based on my values.

I get to decide what is important to me and I get to live in integrity with that.

When I do so, I go to bed at night with a sense of pride and joy.

A celebration of deep appreciation of all that had transpired during the day.

Even when, at the time, it didn’t always feel so great.

Not feeling great, is still a beautiful gift.

The gift of contrast.

The opportunity for course correction.

The opportunity to step up and be the woman who meets her failures with her chin raised.

This was such a powerful one for me to start taking risks – as I believe very little growth is available to us if we’re always risk averse.  Yet with risk comes failure, and it’s this failure which makes it such a brilliant opportunity to go beyond where we previously dared tread!

Or the opportunity to remember what was impactful or effective before and reimplementing that.

And it’s always the basics,

the foundational pieces,

the simplest of things,

that makes the biggest difference.

I was chatting to a client this morning who’s going through massive growth right now.

And as with all quantum leaps, it can feel overwhelming at times.

When we dug a little deeper, I found that her sense of overwhelm came from her belief that there is a finite amount of time available to her.  And as she grows her company, she is trying to fit MORE in the same size container, thereby sacrificing some of the most fundamental aspects of her personal well-being.

Stuck in the way that things ‘should’ be done for them to have any benefit, she took on an all-or-nothing stance.

So instead of training 15 minutes a day at home, she stopped training all-together because she couldn’t make an hour long class at the gym.

She stopped drinking water not realising that dehydration also dries up clarity of thought.

A lesson I learned the hard way.

When growing our lives, whether it’s adding a business or a new fitness regime or a new relationship, it’s about learning how to expand!

How to create MORE time to do all you love.

How to create MORE money to have all you love.

How to create MORE energy to get everything done that you desire to do.

And for me to always comes back to

SIMPLIFY!

When we start looking at our lives there’s so many time-leaks it’s not even funny.

We tend to fill our days with things we think we ‘should’ be doing.

We prioritise everyone else’s agendas above our own and then wonder why we feel so unsatisfied, frustrated and resentful all the time.

We have allowed technology to eat up our minutes through constant interruptions and blings and buzzes and alarms going off.

OMG switch off the fucking alerts on your phone!

In fact, if you’re serious about creating additional time for YOU, take all those apps and social media banners off your phone.

I promise you you won’t have an empty life just because you don’t spend an hour a day on Facebook browsing for heaven knows what?

You’re never going to find the answer to life on Facebook or Instagram or YouTube.

Because whatever answers are given on there is for the people who post it.

YOUR answers, are INSIDE of YOU.

And they are only accessed through silence and clarity and introspection and trusting yourself.

It’s during these times that you will find the way to expand in order to rise above your current challenges understanding that life will ALWAYS gift you with challenges.

After all, life is all about growth.

Today I invite you to drop any shame that you may have in any area of your life Darling and to open yourself up to expansion.

Take any challenge you have, whether it’s around money or relationships or addiction or the state of your body, and drop into appreciation!

Knowing that everything happens FOR you, this circumstance was created uniquely for your growth.

Once you can appreciate the discomfort, you can find the learning, the opportunity.

From this space, you can celebrate this amazing insight and then ask yourself what is the aligned action to take to feel back in control.

It’s truly that simple.

Oh, and of course you have to courageously take the aligned action.

Whether it’s making that phone call or having the conversation or coming up with a proposal or cleaning out the kitchen cupboard.

This is the way to your sense of freedom.

For only death is inevitable.

Thriving is always a choice.

With love,

Anel

PS:  Are you craving growth and expansion?

To clear away the cobwebs that seems to dull your mind and senses?

Are you ready to liberate yourself from the shame and instead claim a life of celebration and enjoyment?

I partner with clients who have made the decision to thrive.

Those who are ready to fully experience this gift called life and who are not afraid to step up and prioritise themselves.

I partner with those who are committed to doing the work, those prepared to push through the discomfort, the resistance, taking full responsibility for themselves and their happiness.

If you’re ready for this level of partnership, I welcome you to apply today by sending me a mail anel@anelbester.com and find out more about private coaching with me.

 

What do you want today to be remembered for?

Maybe it was just me.

Always living anywhere but in the present.

I would catch myself continuously in the past, reliving the same shit over and over again.

Telling myself I was simply trying to make sense of it all.

That once I figured out the past I would be healed and good.

Alternatively I would find myself in the future.

Focusing on everything that I still wanted to be, do or have.

Stressing over ‘blessings received’ which you might know as bills.

Constantly worrying about my kids.

Thinking that I was responsible for ensuring their success.

Now I will admit that even living everywhere but here, I still accomplished some epic shit.

But I always felt slightly cheated at the moment of goal completion.

Like anticipating your favourite doll at Christmas only to open up a parcel full of underwear.

I discovered two things:

  1. I had no business in the past and the future.  One is gone.  Over.  Done.  The other, has not yet happened for a reason.
  2. The reason I was focused everywhere except the present was because the present was chaos.  It sucked most of the time.  I was living out of integrity.  And I was too much of a coward to deal.

No I’m not shaming myself Darling.

It was perfect.

I needed to go through all of that to seriously appreciate my present tense today.

Now I also have to tell you that it’s been my experience that living in the present takes some seriously big brass ovaries.

Mostly because the accepted norm is NOT to do so.

Instead we are encouraged to keep ourselves distracted as much as possible.

We constantly have earphones plugged in to drum out the voices in our heads.

Our eyes glued to a screen majority of the time – whether that screen is a television, a laptop, a phone.

We drink alcohol to ‘relax’ and destress after a hectic day at the office.

We eat sugar to give us a quick ‘high’ before nose-diving back into a slump.

We’re told to ‘stop and smell the roses’ yet when we do, years of indoctrination has our subconscious screaming like a banshee!  How irresponsible we are.  How lazy.  How we’re wasting time.  How we should be busy.

Well, quite frankly, busy can kiss my sexy round derriere.

I choose instead to live my seconds in a way that supports my thrive.

And my thrive loves to question the norm and what is told to us as truth.

Last night we were having an interesting conversation around the dinner table about species and sub-species and alternate universes.

I came to the conclusion that humans are the least intelligent species on earth even though we think we’re so clever.

Look at any animal.

They are always present.

When they are hungry, they eat.

When they are tired, they sleep.

When they are horny, they screw.

When they want company, they play.

Yes, there is some form of work.  Food has to be gathered.  Shelter has to be found.

Yet they go to the source directly.

We on the other hand, the ‘advanced’ species we are, went and put money, factories, buyers, attorneys and Thor knows what else in-between ourselves and the natural resources.  In most instances we are so fucking far removed that people are starving to death, freezing to death, and nobody seems capable of finding the solution to this crisis.

Yes, real clever.

Humans are busy.

Animals are busy living.

Taking it further, our furry brothers and sisters seem to do whatever needs to be done today, today.

Not leaving what has to be done today till tomorrow.

You also don’t see them in therapy rehashing the past.

Interesting.

So this morning as I sat with my trusted journal, I opened up to my desires.

What is it that I desire to feel?

Where in my human experience do I desire to feel this?

What is the experience that I desire to create for myself at this time?

And then,

a question that’s never come through before,

What do I want today to be remembered for?

Oh I do love when my higher self takes control of my hand – she’s pretty wise and badass.

What really hit me was that if I was to approach EVERY SINGLE DAY as an opportunity to create something MEMORABLE and IMPACTFUL and BEAUTIFUL,

EVERY SINGLE DAY would be fucking spectacular!

None of this, well what am I going to do next week or next month or next year.

No more wasting days and letting them slip through the cracks into emptiness.

No more taking my waking hours for granted.

Because if I am intent on creating a good memory every day, and I don’t know about you but I never remember average anything, I have to consciously apply myself to today.

So let me ask you Dear One,

What do you want today to be remembered for?

What will others witness and think of fondly or laughingly or lovingly tonight?

Tell you what, why don’t we team up for some interesting research?

You keen?

Let’s journal this question every single morning for a week and report on our results.  Just drop me a mail anel@anelbester.com and we can compare notes.

But there’s a catch –

Whatever comes out in your journal, you have to take the aligned action that will ensure that memory is created for real!

Deal?

I honestly believe that it’s these 1% adjustments to our course that completely changes our trajectory.

I also believe that one of the greatest gifts I ever gave to myself is being present.

Drenching myself in the sunrise.

Filling my lungs with sweet oxygen.

Biting into a wonderful grape with an explosion of juice on my chin.

And I would love to inspire you to do the same.

I believe that today is the PRESENT that Goddess rains down on you EVERY SINGLE MORNING.

It’s up to you whether that present is going to be your favourite dolly or a stack of panties.

Hell at this stage, I will ensure those panties are sexy AF lacy creations which completely turns me on as well.

It’s in my hands.

And it’s in yours.

Only death is inevitable.

Thriving is a choice Darling.

Love you

Anel

PS:  Lilly, thank you for the beautiful memories today my friend.  I love you.

PPS:  This is normally where I put a call to action but not today.

Today I am not going to suggest how to make it a memorable one.

I want you to decide.

How will you remember today?

 

 

The ONLY thing you need to do to be happy

When I set the intention on the 1st of January to create FREEDOM in my life in 2018, I had no clue what that was going to entail.

I thought it meant a whole lot of things that I’d have to achieve in order for me to be free.

I was wrong.

Freedom

The greatest freedom of all

Came from waking the fuck up.

It came from removing the eye-claps that kept me so blind to what was going on around me.

It came from clarity of thought and having the courage to start questioning on a deeper level.

It came from understanding that we are all perfect, whole and complete.

That our natural state is that of love and joy.

However, humanity at large seems to have forgotten this.

We have crafted some powerful stories about what perfect, whole and complete looks like.

And quite frankly,

unless you’re some computer generated photoshopped mirage, you don’t stand a chance of ever attaining socially-defined state.

We’re told that there are more favourable images and personalities and we should all strive to be THAT.

As if a giraffe should hang her head in shame, crawling on all fours to make herself smaller, imitating a lion.

Who ever said that a lion is more worthy or better than a giraffe?

Yet this is what we’re told.

Furthermore we’ve been encouraged to focus on how we DON’T match this illusion of perfection.

How fucked up we are.

How flawed we are.

How sinful we are.

How our bodies are not perfectly contoured to the current fashion so therefore we should be ashamed of ourselves.

We’re continuously bombarded with articles and therapies that will help us beat depression and anxiety and ADHD and narcissism and heaven knows what else.

And the more we are exposed to these ‘helpful tips’, the more neurotic we become, looking for all those symptoms as apparently that will make us ‘normal’.

We both know by now that you will always find evidence for what you seek.

‘Normal’ appears to be pretty fucking miserable.

I’ve been witnessing with some interest the long and winding road that we’re told is necessary in order for us to be happy.

All the boxes that we need to tick in order for us to enjoy a state of bliss.

We have to go back to our childhoods and find the root cause of our pain so that we can heal it and be happy.

We have to be liked by the masses, popular amongst the in-crowd, in order for us to find connection and be happy.

We have to have a successful career in order for us to be driven and be happy.

We have to meet the perfect partner and live in harmonious bliss always fulfilling each others needs to be happy.

We have to amass riches in order for us to feel safe and secure in our old age and be happy.

Blah blah blah.

Is it any wonder that so few people are happy?

Shit, if I had to sit and tick all their fabricated boxes I would be miserable too.

I would also be drinking bottles of wine every night, feeling like a complete and utter failure.

I would also be stuffing my face with fat-dripping empty calories to feel a measure of fullness inside.

I would also be hiding in La-La Land on the playstation, desperately trying to escape the ‘horrors’ of my life.

I would also be seeing a therapist for years on end because lying on a couch kinda justifies my feelings of unhappiness.

And I can joke about these things now because YES, I’ve done them all.

That and some seriously wacky woo-woo shit that promised to give me “THE ULTIMATE TRUTH“.

What I found is that NOTHING

and I do mean NOTHING

outside of you

can ever make you happy.

And NOTHING that you can ever be or do can make someone else happy.

The ONLY thing you have to do to be happy

is fucking DECIDE.

That’s it.

You simply have to decide that you’re happy.

You don’t have to go smoke a cocktail of Thor knows what.

You don’t have to fall in love with your soulmate forever.

You don’t have to heal every painful incident from your past.

You simply have to choose happiness.

It’s been my experience that happiness truly is my natural state.

Every time I find myself moving away from this, it’s because of some bullshit story I’m telling myself of how life isn’t ‘perfect’.

Of how someone doesn’t like me or love me and without their approval there something lacking in me, in my life, somehow I’m not good enough to be liked.

Quite frankly Darling, your experience of me has fuckall to do with me.

It’s YOUR experience of me.

The only thing that truly matters is MY experience of me.

THIS IS FREEDOM!

So why are more people not choosing this?

Well because for one thing it just seems too fucking simple.

For another they would have to take full responsibility for their own happiness – and it’s way easier to pin that shit on someone else.  Especially if we choose NOT to be happy.  Who wants to own that??  So I blame my kids, my partner, my business associates, the government, my parents, my dead grandparents, my forefathers.

Whatever!

Another reason I see people not choosing happiness is because they’ve forgotten what makes them happy in the first place.  They’ve turned off their desire tap such a long time ago that they have completely disconnected with their joy.  So they turn to the beautifully posed pictures of skinny models and luxury yachts, and since said model is laughing they think THAT is what they need to make them happy.

Maybe it is.

In my experience, for me, it’s not.

It’s the simplest things.

Looking at the sunrise in awe lights me up.

Riding my bike laughing my ass off makes me happy.

Turning on my favourite tunes and dancing in the buff makes me giggle.

Hell, even singing with my extremely out-of-tune voice makes me happy.

Walking the dogs.

A stimulating conversation.

Saying I love you, even to random strangers, and meaning it.

I could be sitting on the couch and just consciously choose happy and boom, I feel it.

So what are you choosing today my gorgeous unicorn?

You don’t even have to choose for forever.

Just for right now, in this moment.

Simple.

Only death is inevitable.

Thriving is always a choice.

Love you,

Anel

PS:  Is this message resonating with you?

Before you go into pulling it apart so that you can find fault with it?

Before you start criticising it because you simply don’t want to own your truth for yourself?

I know that is what happens.

Every time that we are presented with an alternative truth to the one we’ve held on to for such a long time, we make it wrong.

But I’ve also learned to trust those intuitive nudges I feel before my ego takes control.

And it’s that part that I’m speaking to right now.

If you’re ready to make different choices, to question the paradigms in your mind, to break the self-defeating patterns that keep you stuck in anything less than happy, then I invite you to connect with me today and to find out what a journey of private coaching would look like.

You’re happiness is worth it.

 

 

 

There’s no reason for you to keep feeling so stuck in existence!

I’m feeling the bitch strongly this morning.

She’s tired of people being lied to all the time.

Tired of people lying there feeling helpless.

What really pisses the bitch off, is that most are so exhausted from a meaningless existence consisting of boxes and to-do lists, that they don’t have the mental capacity or strength to question the shit that’s trapping them, that’s killing them, slowly.

They get so wrapped up in that spiders web that they eventually stop struggling and just wait for someone, something, to come suck the life out of them.

Depleted, frustrated, crying alone in the dark when they don’t have to face the eyes in the mirror.

But still not breaking free from the insanity.

Because to break free takes an enormous effort, especially in the beginning.

Think of it as a rubber band holding you.

There’s this sense of restriction.

Maybe you get tired of it because your wings want to fly or just because you’re tired of not living your potential or you’re just done being bored.

Maybe you’re done waking up in the morning with no real passion or excitment or a sense of adventure.

So you start straining against it.

Until your arms are shaking.

It holds.

You cry and release the effort.

You stay inside the band, arms hanging limply by your side once more.

Until you lift your slumped head and decide to give it another go.

So you strain even harder.

“Come on!!”  You scream into the emptiness.

The fucking band holds.

You give up, give in, exhausted.

Now you have a choice to make.

You can decide that the band is stronger than you and just settle to living within the confinements of the rubber band for the rest of your life – no harm done, millions do this every single day so you’ll have plenty of zombies to keep you company;

Or

You can get fucking mad.

And let me tell you my friend,

RAGE is a powerful energy when you channel it correctly.

You can DECIDE that YOU WILL BE TRIUMPHANT.

You can dig deep,

deeper than you think is available to you,

and then,

with a MASSIVE EXPLOSION OF POWER

You can RIP that shit apart.

BOOM BABY.

FREEDOM!

Most people feel the strain and think that this is what it will be like all the time.

Forever and ever.

When you rage against the machine.

And they simply give up.

Feeling that it’s too much to ask of themselves, and for what?

Just more strain?

That doesn’t seem like much reward for all that effort.

In fact, most people can’t even comprehend what true freedom would feel like, would look like, in their lives.

Plus, what about all their loved ones who are banded around them?

Do they have to then break all of them free as well?

Which will probably take up the rest of your life and you’ll still have nothing much to show for the struggle.

Or do you have to leave them behind? Go it on your own? Who wants to be alone for the rest of their lives?

So let me highlight some options for you from my experience, understanding that yours will be different. This is simply to get your creative juices of possibility flowing.

It’s been my experience that the first effort, was the most challenging. Breaking that rubber band which held me terrified and miserable was probably the hardest thing I’ve ever done – and I’ve done some tough shit.

But it was so worth it!

The moment I burst loose everything changed for me.

My entire perspective of life.

My beliefs of what is and what is not possible.

Breaking the rules of dead nameless people that never made sense to me in the first place and then writing my own that is in support to my thrive is pretty epic.

Living my life in a place I adore doing work that completely lights me up with people I respect and love is iconic.

I did find that once I was free from my own restriction, it wasn’t my responsibility to break others loose. Like the butterfly emerging from the cocoon, we require that struggle to build the strength which is needed to live a life of freedom. Especially mentally.

My sole responsibility was to break myself free and that resulted in some of my loved ones feeling truly inspired thereby finding their own inner strength to break the chains and walk forward, others looked at me with defeat in their eyes and told me to leave them behind not willing to put in the effort, others still spat in my face, called me colourful names and hurled insults after me.

It’s all good.

This, I believe, is the true beauty and power of the journey of life – FREE WILL.

I can also tell you that since making the decision to free myself, I keep meeting the most incredible fellow travellers who do the work, keep getting stronger, keep inspiring, keep thriving.

The journey gets easier simply because you get stronger.

And because you want to keep growing, of course you create wonderfully challenging events and relationships that places another rubber band around you. But this time you know where to go – inside – to find the strength and to break loose once more.

You have what it takes to break free!

I know you do.

Every single person alive today has what it takes.

There are no victims.

Only a victim mentality.

Yet me knowing you have what it takes doesn’t mean anything in your life.

YOU have to believe it.

YOU have to believe in yourself.

YOU have to find your reason to break free.

YOU have to go inside and find your strength.

YOU have to decide who you are willing to leave behind if they choose to stay.

YOU have to decide what you are willing to do in order for you to thrive.

YOU have to decide what you are willing to sacrifice – the poisonous food, booze, drugs, distractions – for you to succeed.

It’s all up to YOU.

It’s all YOUR choice.

I do hope that this has inspired you to do the introspection that will ultimately have you choose consciously.

For only death is inevitable.

Thriving is a choice very few people are making.

Love you,
Anel

PS: If you’re not quite ready to break free but you want to gently start working those muscles through mindset, movement and a little bit of magic, check out the Wild Woman Rebels membership site today.

For as little as $10 a month you will have access to weekly new content including book discussions, yoga, mindset trainings, and more.

But is it making you stronger, better, thriving?

I’ve been doing some soul searching.

Going ever deeper into who I am.

At my core.

And from this space determining who my tribe is.

My tribe with whom to surround myself.

My tribe from whom to learn.

My tribe with whom to work.

My tribe with whom to play.

And it hit me, that they are a rare breed indeed.

I’ll start with a declaration and your emotional response to this will probably be a good indication if you’re part of my tribe or not.

I am an empress!  Always have been, always will be.

I am a queen – I do not back down from my responsibility to lead.  I dare to make decisions and run with the outcome, whatever said outcome is.

I am a lover – I stopped giving a damn because I love too much.  I am appreciative of my real teachers, those who come in relationships, and love their souls even when their human bodies break my heart.  I know that every time my heart breaks, it heals, and the scar tissue makes her bigger and stronger.

I am a warrior – I train, I bleed, I sweat and I rise.  I continue the fight for liberation every single day.

Relentlessly.

Not when the moon is full.

Not when my kids are grown.

Not when everyone feels good.

Every day.

I feel that society has made those who stay in slumber weak, lazy, complacent and a little fucked up.

Conformity is encouraged from the time you start thinking – you’re even taught HOW to think.  Not to question.  If you’re unwilling to do so, you’re told you’re a failure.  There’s something wrong with you which hopefully can be corrected with a pill or some therapy.  If not, sorry for you.

You’re told not to explore outside the dictated lines.  Tick the right box as decided by another and you get to proceed to the next level.  If not, you’re shamed, held back, put in your place.

You’re made to sit still for hours on end.  When your body protests against this unnatural state you’re labelled as disrupting, undisciplined, or my favourite – ADHD.

Entertainment is more highly valued than personal growth – simply hop onto YouTube or have a look at the earnings at the box office to see the truth in this.

Comfort is sought above growth – we’re told everything has to be easy, only doing what we feel like doing, when we feel like doing it, and then still having all our dreams come true.

Addiction is encouraged above health.  Advertising agencies convince you to have another drink, take another pill, eat more junk food pumped full of god knows what.  And then take another pill to recover from the hangover, burn off the fat, get an erection.  Everything is pumped full of sugar even though we all know that sugar is more addictive than cocaine.

All of these things are simply accepted as the norm.

Yet when we choose to do it differently, old school, like a warrior, we are criticised and ostracised.

I’m constantly told that I’m broken or blocked or in ego because I love the hustle, I love the pain, I love the push, I love the growth.

Few people can wrap their heads around the fact that this is the human experience I desire.

The one that fills me with joy.

The one that brings me pleasure.

I show the fuck up at an intensity that has most fearing I will burn out.  Why?  Not because I’m a robot.  But because I know how to take care of myself so that I am always in shape to do what I came here to do.

I know how to turn myself on.

I know how to get into flow.

I know how to push hard.

I know how to ensure endurance.

I know how to recover.

Plus, beyond just knowing, I do!

I know my thrive.

Blood pumping through my veins.

My mind presented with an interesting puzzle to solve.

Relationships that support and stimulate and challenge me.

Working with badasses who, like me, value impact and legacy and freedom and abundance and discipline and thrive.

In order for us to have this lifestyle, in order for us to do our soul purpose work, there are a few non-negotiables.

We have to be strong.

Physically

Emotionally

Spiritually

Mentally

We have to stay hungry.

Always appreciative for what is whilst striving for more.

Look, I know I’m going to die.  But I have no idea when.  So for me, I take every day as an opportunity to inspire one more person to wake up!

Every day.

Why wouldn’t I?

This, after all, is why I chose to live at this time.

So you’re damn right I’m going to go full out every day!

We have to thrive.

It’s simply not possible to give anyone anything of true value when you’re running on empty.

Which I know goes against everything you’re being told.

But I want you to ask yourself, who truly benefits from your chronic fatigue?

Only the machine.

Because when you’re tired, you can’t think for yourself.  You can’t think of creative possibilities or solutions.  You don’t have the will to fight and rather just give up and self-medicate in a desperate attempt to cope from one day to the next.  You don’t have the resolve to go against the norm and keep the faith even when it takes a long time for you to achieve the results you desire.  You don’t have the audacity to claim your perfection and it’s easier to just think you’re broken, going to therapy as continuous confirmation and focusing on all the bullshit of why this is true rather than focusing on the vision of your best version self.

And energy, vitality, thrive, doesn’t come from sleeping all the time.

You don’t need MORE SLEEP Darling.

You need to start moving your ass and exercise!

You need to stop eating the shit food and nourish yourself.

You need to stop living in a state of dehydration  and start drinking water.

You need to stop binging on entertainment and start reading some of the great books of all times.

You need to stop drinking to feel better and start breathing deeper.

You need to stop escaping reality with playstation and social media and start connecting with yourself in silence.

Which scares the shit out of most people.

Because can you just fucking IMAGINE how powerful you will be when you clean up your shit and REALLY start looking after yourself??

Can you imagine how many people will hate you for holding up a mirror to see their wasted potential?

Can you imagine how good it will feel to approach each and every day as an adventure and how few people will want to talk to you because, if they can’t complain, they’re not happy?

Can you imagine how liberating it will feel to dance naked and loving the way your body feels, how she moves, her levels of power and flexibility beautifully combined to give you a feline quality of grace?

Can you imagine how deeply satisfying it will be to look in the mirror and see a face you love and respect and honour?

Can you just imagine???

It’s not complicated.

It’s real simple.

All you do is strip back the bullshit.

Simplify everything in your life.

And when presented with a choice ask yourself, is this making you stronger, better, thriving?

If not, do you have the courage, the self-love, the love for humanity to walk away?

For only death is inevitable.

Thriving is a courageous choice few will make.

With love,

Anel

PS:  Are you ready to liberate yourself?

I am inviting applications of those who are hungry for more.

Those who want to become their best version self so that they can have the energy, the passion, the creativity to fulfil their soul desires.

This is  only for you if you’re willing to do the work.

If you’re willing to show up for yourself.

If you’re willing to go back to basics and to simplify.

This is NOT for those seeking an easy way out.

It’s NOT for those wanting a magic pill.

It’s definitely NOT for those who just want to be spoon-fed and given a colour-by-numbers page to feel that they’ve given it a shot and if they don’t succeed it’s not their fault.

For more information drop me a mail to see if this is the right partnership for you.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Can we please stop setting the goals we have no intention of achieving?

Let’s stop screwing around shall we?

I’m so tired of the bad rap goals are getting lately.

Yes, I agree – goals are not for everyone.

For one thing, not everyone has drive.

Not everyone is ambitious.

Not everyone has the discipline it takes to achieve goals.

That’s cool – just get honest with yourself.

If goals are not your thing, don’t set them.

I simply don’t understand why you would keep pretending you’re one thing only to have your true nature sabotage you and then you feel like shit.

It’s crazy.

Plus I’m bored hearing people complain that they don’t have the time or talent or resources to achieve their goals and how unfair it all is.

I’m tired of listening to people whining about how they’re trying but their best is not good enough.

Just stop it.

Rather go take the time to figure out who you are really are, what your true values are, how you truly desire to live that is in alignment with your values, and be fucking happy.

And if goals is not your thing, you can stop reading now.

Because the rest of this piece is not for you.

It’s for the insanely driven high achievers, the warriors, the rebels.

Those who love the burn.

Those who love taking on the adrenaline pumping insanity of more.

Those who like to sweat, curse, push, cry.

Those who get knocked down and defiantly get up saying “Is that all you’ve got bitch?”

I want you to stop holding yourself back for the naysayers and those with less drive and ambition than you, and instead to set the goals that has your ass on FIRE.

The ones that move your soul so that you get all teary eyed when you think of the day you cross the finish line.

ONLY set those goals.

Stop fucking around with all the other ones that you’re setting because you think that’s what others expect of you.

Stop distracting yourself with shit that’s not aligned with your purpose.

I invite you to set only ONE goal.

Ultimately that’s all you need!

That ONE goal which you can no longer live without.

That ONE goal that you no longer WILL live without.

And you best make her BIG.

So big that you look up at the mountain top, you’re legs shaking with a little drop of pee running down inside your thigh.

THIS is the goal that will transform your life.

The one that will have you do whatever the hell it takes.

The one that will have you leave behind all those assholes draining the life out of you.

The one that will have you get up at 2 am if that is what is required to create the time of focused attention.

The one that will ultimately unlock the next piece of your soul purpose puzzle.

I want you to sit down today and I want you to figure out WHY.

Why do you want to achieve this goal with every fibre of your being?

What impact will this have on your life?

All of your life.

Your physical self.

Your relationships – the good and the so-called ‘bad’ impacts.

Your surroundings.

What will you be able to do once you’ve achieved this goal that you think you can’t do today?

How will it open you up?

What will be the impact on your life if you DON’T achieve said goal?

Be ruthless,

TTFU and get real with yourself.

The main reason most people give up on the life-changing goals is their why is not big enough.

Or they forget why they started in the first place and if that isn’t written down, and they’re tired, and hurting, and angry, how can they possibly remember?

I want you to figure out how or why you could possibly fuck this up?

Sounds crazy, I know.

But here’s what I’ve learned – especially in my own life.

We have a cunning ego.

An ego convinced that the world is a really unsafe place.

An ego that thinks that we can only cope with that which we’re already familiar with.

Even if that familiarity is abuse, poverty, being fat and sick and exhausted all the time.

If you don’t acknowledge your ego and all the bullshit she’s feeding you, she will have you sabotage your ass every step of the way.

So outsmart her.

By showering her with love, acknowledgement, listen to her, appreciate her.

And then choose to be successful anyway.

I want you to tap into the energy of the you who has already achieved this goal.

What will your days look like?

Who will you be surrounded with?

What are the conversations you’ll be having?

What will you be thinking about?

What will you believe, about yourself, about what is possible, about how life works?

What will you no longer be tolerating?

How will people treat you?

How will you treat people?

How will you be feeling?

What actions will you be taking?

All of it.

Then take the action!

Not the action that your little today person would be taking.

The action your tomorrow person is taking Darling.

Which is probably going to be the scariest fucking thing I could ask you to do.

Because if you’re doing the shit you would normally do, the things that feel comfortable, the ones you’re already taking, you’re going to get the same results you’ve always gotten!

And I want you to stop screwing around with your goals as if they’re not all that important!

I’ve heard all your stories before:

  • you don’t have the time
  • you don’t have the resources
  • you have kids
  • you don’t have the support
  • you don’t have the discipline
  • you don’t have the money
  • you don’t have the talent
  • you don’t have the partner
  • you have the partner

Blah Blah Blah

My question to you is this:

HOW MUCH DO YOU WANT IT?

Because if it’s not an ache,

if you’re not prepared to do whatever it takes,

if you’re not willing to invest in yourself and get the support you deserve and need to achieve,

if you’re not willing to clear your calendar for this,

if you’re not willing to have the uncomfortable conversations,

if you’re not willing to let go of the unsupporters,

if you’re not willing to toughen up,

don’t set the fucking goal.

Really, don’t do it to yourself.

I’m just so done with people saying they want something and then disappointing themselves.

It’s insane.

You feel like shit.

You stop believing you can.

You stop believing in yourself.

You stop believing yourself.

Either commit – all the way in Darling.

Or don’t.

Let’s create a culture of honour.

A culture of pride.

A culture of self-love.

Let’s be the defiant rebels who show the world that authenticity is the BEST way to find thrive.

For only death is inevitable.

Thriving, is such a powerful choice.

Love ya,

Anel

PS:  I’m not here to tell you that you need me to succeed.

I’m not here to tell you that you need anything to succeed.

I know you can do it.

But I am going to tell you that in my experience, having someone on your side, someone who holds you accountable, someone who holds up a mirror, someone who gets you out of the drama, someone who creates a safe space for introspection, definitely helps and makes the journey faster and easier.

For the past decade I’ve worked with start-up entrepreneurs, authors, CEO’s of international companies, athletes, artists to break through their self-imposed obstacles and limiting beliefs by connecting to their true values and desires and then taking aligned action to achieve real results.

I kick ass.

It’s as simple as that.

Because I believe in my clients.

I hold them to a new level of excellence that nobody else has held them before. I don’t play by the social bullshit rules of diplomacy and niceties, I give it raw and straight knowing that the truth will always set you free.

If you’re ready for some transformation in your life, for freedom, and you desire to be supported on the journey, hit me a mail and find out more about how my coaching works and what it would look like for us to play together.

 

 

What would you be doing today with powerful stories?

I remember the day when I heard that our stories dictate our results.

At first I thought “yeah, okay I can maybe buy into this”.

But then I heard it again.

This time I took a moment to press pause and really immerse myself into this concept.

Our stories dictate our results.

What did that really mean?

For me?

On a day to day basis?

So the first thing I did was to become aware of the stories in my head.

I’ve always acknowledged that I hear voices.

But before that day I wasn’t truly paying attention to what they were saying.

In fact,

I simply took everything at face value and OF COURSE it was true.

After all,

it was my life,

my experience,

my truth.

Except the stories were really shit.

They were filled with anger, resentment, bitterness.

Furiously.

Agonisingly.

There was so much pain on replay.

I was such a fucking victim I was horrified at myself!

I started tracing my actions which derived from said stories and what I found was astounding!

In some areas of my life I was being a constant bitch – always expecting attack and ready to spit hellfire!

In some areas I was the overprotective lioness – keeping her cubs super close to her in case a predator would snatch them away.

In some areas I was showing up as a glimmer of my glorious self – giving the world a part of me, just enough to be seen by a handful but not enough for people to really pay attention.

Understand that I found plenty of evidence for all of these as we ALWAYS find evidence for our beliefs.

My life was a mirror reflection of my stories.

Strained, toxic, draining relationships.

Frustrated kids who has their moms’ warrior spirit yet held in cotton wool – sorry boys!

A business that was ticking over and making massive change for a few lives but not the scale of impact I agreed to make during this lifetime.

Plus I was feeling miserable most days.

After a few days of consciously listening to this ‘tragedy’, I decided to start talking back.

I would have full-on out loud debates with the voices.

Driving in my car.

Riding my bike.

Walking on the beach.

Washing the dishes.

I found that it’s these pockets of time when I’m not immersed in my soul work that the voices are most talkative.

I started actively looking for evidence of the good things in my life – and there was sooooo much.

Way more good than challenges.

Each time the voice would say “OMG did you see that negative comment on Facebook?  They think you’re an asshole.  Damn it hurt like a motherlicken.  You should really stop talking so much Anel.  People aren’t ready for your crazy thoughts.  Stop putting yourself in harms way and just shut up!”

I would come back with “Yes but did you read that email from Sarah that thanked me for speaking out that which her soul is silently crying?  Did you see that I brought light, if only for a moment, to one person’s life?  That, for me, is worth a hundred haters.”

On and on.

One topic, one life area, after another.

Slowly but surely the voices in my head quietened down.

It was as if they were growing tired of this stubborn determined old bat always having a comeback.

And then, the voices started changing their story.

I didn’t have to debate with them anymore.

I started consciously choosing positive stories in my head.

I set the stage in the morning through journaling.  Writing into physical reality that which I truly desire.  Going deep into the person who has already received said desires and then asking myself “What would that version of me be thinking about?  What is her stories?”

Once I’ve written them down I draw on them as a blueprint all day long.

And here’s the kicker –

Once I’d delved into her feelings and thoughts and beliefs, I ask myself “What is the aligned action she would take today?

I commit to taking the actions.

My results stem from these actions.

For me the true miracle, the one for which I am most grateful, is waking up feeling truly happy.

My happiness has my face continuously smiling.

Which seems to be changing the contours and lines of my face.

And I like it!

I continue this practice understanding that mind-set work is ongoing.

I check in with myself during the day and if I feel a sense of sadness, anger, fear, whatever the case might be, I ask myself what is the story behind the feeling?

I strip the story back and I find the nuggets that always await inside.

Whether that nugget is a lesson I require to live my life purpose, or a lack of information which leads to a fear reaction, or an indication that I’ve made a decision which is out of integrity.

There’s always a nugget.

From here I get to choose once more.

Do I change my story?

Do I change my action?

Do I get more information to consciously choose?

So many options my friend.

My invitation to you today is to start becoming aware of the stories in your head.

Not to judge them or blame them or shame them.

That would just be based on another story.

Instead, just remain curious.

Think of it as a research project.

And once you are aware of your stories, I want you to observe how they impact your actions.

Knowing that your actions ultimately dictate your results.

I also want you to be aware that you will ALWAYS find evidence for your stories, which is why if you approach this from a space of shame, you will become angry and defensive which really nullifies the power of this exercise.

That’s all for today.

Let me know.

Drop me a mail or hit me in the comments – what new awareness have you gained from this exercise?

Are you happy with the stories in your head?

Are they empowering and liberating and high vibrational and joyful?

Or not?

No judgement.

I’m not saying you must change them.

I simply want to create some conscious awareness for you today Darling.

The more consciously we live, the more consciously we choose.

For only death is inevitable.

Thriving truly is a conscious choice.

Love ya,

Anel

PS:

“Anel hears what you are not saying and helps you to tackle the hurt and painful areas of your life that you have buried. She helps you step by step to face your fears and she helps you to uncover all the potholes that you have dug for yourself on your journey. If you want to succeed, you need to work on your blind spots. Anel will uncover these for you! Go and be great!!”  Helene Hooper

If you’re ready to be deeply heard, if you’re ready to see your blind spots, if you’re ready to be great, check out Liberation and then ask yourself, if you believed you can be liberated, if you believed you are a powerful being, if you believed you were deserving of receiving ass-kicking support, if you believed that you are worthy of deep happiness, would you apply today?