So you say that this time around things will be different – again…

Cycles are not easily broken.

Probably because breaking a cycle takes huge ganoonies.

It takes an honest and real look in the mirror.

It takes you leaving your ego behind because you’ve finally hit the point of enough and no more and this time around you mean it.

No more victim.

No more excuses.

Pure determination.

The moment the ego steps aside and the soul is given free reign, magic happens.

This is when the person is willing to take a clear look at their patterns.

The thoughts that was running in their heads like a broken record and instead of listening to the stories as absolute truth, they hear the drama, the victim mentality, the bullshit.

They’re able to take on an air of curiosity and seek the crafty ways in which they’ve sabotaged themselves.

Don’t fool yourself – we all self-sabotage.

I want you to start realising just how powerful you are in your creations and then maybe you’ll agree with me on the self-sabotage topic.

I’ve come to understand that thrive is our natural state.

That we live in a universe of pure abundance.

That our bodies are wired to be healthy.

Which means that everything in our lives that are contradictory to that, is our pure willpower that makes it so.

Think of it as an ocean of joy that’s flowing towards you.

AN OCEAN.

And you’re somehow holding your hands out in front of you stopping the flow.

OF AN OCEAN!

Can you even picture in your mind how immensely powerful that is?

Can you even imagine how much strength and energy it’s taking for you to do this?

Is it any wonder then that people who choose to live in struggle are so fucking tired all the time????

I think not.

Because it’s not their natural state!

So there’s the very first clue for you – are you tired all the time?

Exhausted even though you’re not running a marathon, even though you’re not up at 5 am every day doing your mindset work, even though you’re not financially free?

Tired is not your natural state.

There’s something out of sync.

Are you eating shit?

Are you not moving your body?  Not training?  Not firing up those muscles?

Are you not stimulating your mind with things that excite you?

Are you not having conversations with fascinating people who leave you feeling on fire over coffee?

Are you not making passionate love to a human that turns you on with a pure whisper in your ear?

Are you not doing the work that you love doing in a way that fills you with pride and a sense of badassery?

Are you not connecting with your higher self and leaving the details to the Big U of how your dream life unfolds?

All of this matters by the way.

But let’s say that historically you haven’t had the best of luck and you’ve screwed up a few times – OMG you’re human after all.

Once again you’re finding yourself in the spot where you’re sick and tired of being sick and tired.

You shake your fists at the heaven and you scream and shout.  You let it all out.  You crumble to the floor, sobbing, exhausted, begging for the struggle to end.

Finally you open your tear-swollen eyes and you make a promise to yourself that things are going to be different.

That you will never again be broke and broken.

That you will no longer be lonely and miserable.

I want you to ask yourself why.

Why will it be different this time around?

Why will you have a different outcome in a year from now?

And get real here Sweetheart.

Take a pen and paper and write down everything that you’ll be doing differently from now on.

You have to identify your thoughts – you have to release the Bull Shit and replace them with Belief Systems that will serve you.

You have to identify your habitual actions – you have to stop doing the things that feel comfortable, that you know how to do with your eyes closed, and you have to start learning new ways of doing.

You have to identify your toxic relationships – the ones that you know consumes your thoughts day in and day out, sapping your energy and you have to either rephrase them or end them.

You have to identify your routine – the ‘same shit different day’ approach is clearly not working for you so spice it up.  Do it differently.  Do new things.

And here’s the crunch –

Once you’ve written it all down, YOU ACTUALLY HAVE TO DO THE NEW.

That is the only time when things will really be different from now on.

As long as you cling to the story that you just need a break, that you just need to pay off this debt, that you just need a new job, that you just need a new love, nothing will change.

Because YOU’re not changing.

You still believe that the recipe for change is lying outside of you.

That is sooooo disempowering.

That is such nonsense.

This is the perfect time of the year to take stock of your year thus far.

Take out those goals you wrote down on the 1st of January (gag – I can hardly believe you’re still doing it the way that the average people do it with new year’s resolutions but whatever, it’s a start).

Have you achieved them and more importantly, how have you grown in the process of achieving them?  If you’ve achieved your goals but you’re still the same person you set pathetic, safe, small goals.

And if you haven’t achieved them, why not?  What have you not learned to do yet?  Who have you not become yet?  How have you not done it differently this year?

Get brutally honest with yourself.

Don’t try and protect your fragile personality.

Cry if you have to.

Mourn the fact that you’ve pissed another year of your life away with no real change.

Then let that go, draw a real line in the sand and let me know what’s going to change.

Why is this next year going to be different?

What are you going to be doing differently?

Get accountable and hit me a mail – anel@anelbester.com

No more screwing around.

Death is coming.

You can choose to thrive until then.

Love eternal,

Anel

PS:  Are you ready to prove to yourself that yes, this time things really WILL be different??

Are you ready to be taken so far out of your comfort zone that you can’t even see the horizon?

To be held to a level of accountability that simply doesn’t tolerate excuses?

Are you ready for change?

Coaching with me is not for those who desire average results.  It’s not for those who only want to focus on one thing at a time.  It’s definitely not for those who want to nibble at anything.

Coaching with me is for the high achiever who desires to have it all – impact, satisfaction, stimulation, success, wealth, health, passion, connection, shit tons of energy – and they’re prepared to do whatever it takes to get it.

No more excuses.

If you’re ready for THIS level of thrive, then book your consult today.

Hesitation leads to devastation and quite frankly is exactly where you’ve always been.

You can feel like a victim or you can rise like a victor.

I was going to write about something else today.

I thought maybe it’s that time of the year when people just needed to lick their wounds a bit.  Lie down for a little while.

Maybe it’s time for some warm and fuzzy.

A little end of year cheer.

But then a client reached out and let me know that she has demolished her obstacle and received all she’s asked for.

Truth is that she didn’t get to this point because I Molly-coddled her.

She didn’t break through because I let her lie down for a while.

She didn’t win because I held her softly while she was feeling sorry for herself.

She won because I NEVER treated her as anything but that which she truly is – a fucking relentless warrior here to bring change, here to empower others, here to thrive.

What did our relationship look like?

A lot of HTFU’s

A lot of “Fuck you Anel”‘s

A lot of her telling me her perceived struggles and me showing her just how resourceful she can be when she gets over her motherfucking ego and do whatever the hell it takes.

BOOM.

It’s that plain and simple.

Okay so 2017 has been another challenging year.

I hear you.

But you know what Darling, you can sit there on your unfit ass and bitch and moan about money and bosses and clients and the economy and the politics and nothing will change.

You think it will.

You keep telling me that once you get your big break, you’ll be happy.

You tell me that once you make more money, you’ll be happy.

You tell me that once your husband appreciates you and cherishes you, you’ll be happy.

Sorry to burst your bubble but if you’re a miserable fucker nothing will make you happy.

You keep telling everyone how tough it is.

That nobody understands you.

Nobody understands your challenges.

Nobody cares.

Well, no they don’t.

That’s because every single person alive has their own challenges to deal with.

Regardless of how successful they are.

Especially the successful ones.

For achievers thrive on challenge.  Without the challenge they get bored, fat and lazy.

So even when things are all smooth sailing, they will go out, take another risk, create another challenge, so they can pull themselves together and thrive.

I went out riding with my son last night.

It wasn’t planned.

I had done my cardio in the morning and was planning on a nice relaxing yoga session.

The wind was pumping.

He asked for support in completing five laps around the lake.

So I took out Artemis and off we went.

There might not be any hills but that doesn’t mean the Universe let me down for getting stronger.

The wind was a biiiiiitch.

Round number one he sat behind me.

Moaning like an old woman with a wet nappy.

The wind was too hard.

He wasn’t on the right bike.

It was too late in the day.

His knees were hurting.

Blah blah blah.

As we recovered with the tailwind I pulled up next to him and laid down the law.

When you ride with me you don’t bitch.

We recover with the tail wind and you use this time to vent and moan and get all your frustration out of your system.

When we turn at the corner into the wind you put your fucking game face on!

You contract your abs to activate you core strength.

You hunch over.

You shut up and you keep peddling.  Talking is a waste of your energy and power.

The only thought in your head is “KEEP GOING!”

You don’t call out to me.

You don’t ask me to sit up and wait for you.

I’ll wait for you when I recover with the tailwind.

Done!

Now let me just say that if a 15 year old boy can pull finger and perform under challenging circumstances, so can you.

It’s the same in business.

You can sit and waste your precious energy, your will power, your creative thinking, with your continuous moaning about everything that is stacked against you.

Understand that your willpower is a limited source of energy.

Understand that what you talk about you continue to create.

Which means the more you talk about your bullshit the more of it you create.

When will the ground be fertile enough for you?

When will you decide to start stepping on the crap that’s all around you and move into a different direction?

The direction where you actually desire to be?

The success you keep telling me you want before launching into your sorry-ass ballad of all that you’ve lost?

Look me in the eye right now and tell me:

Do you want to be a victim or do you want to be a victor?

And think about this before you answer.  I’m so over people and their white-washed delusions.

If you’re serious about wanting to be a victor then stop whining.

Stop hanging out with losers.

Stop feeling sorry for yourself.

EVERYTHING THAT YOU SEE AROUND YOU YOU’VE CREATED.

EVERYTHING THAT YOU’RE BITCHING ABOUT HAS COME ABOUT FROM YOUR CHOICES.

OWN IT!

For it is in the owning of our results that we can finally start seeing our conscious and unconscious choices and beliefs that impact our behaviour.

Understanding that our actions always lead to our results.

Sadly most people find debilitating labels easier to live with these days.

Depression.

Blocked.

Karma.

Broke.

Infidelity.

Addicted.

ADHD.

You’re none of this.

You’re so fucking powerful my friend but until you’re prepared to leave behind the labels that a mediocre society has pinned on you and own your shit, you’ll never live it.

This is what a victor is about.

It’s about getting real with yourself.

It’s about getting real with others.

It’s about working with a coach that doesn’t kiss your ass.

It’s about being with a friend who tells you to get over yourself.

Be a fucking victor.

The end.

With love eternal,

Anel

PS:  Ready for more?

Ready to break through your perceived obstacles, get over your self-limiting beliefs, stop your self-sabotaging behaviour and thrive?

Ignite is a 90 minute session of you and me getting real and getting super clear on your true desires.  Your next level desires.  It’s about setting the goals that has you laser focussed and taking the actions that not only has you gaining momentum, but has you running when others are still thinking of standing up.

Dorte Loken took the plunge and this is what she said afterwards:  “My work session with Anel was the eye opener I needed to help me see where I need to build in order to push to the next level. The clear no-nonsense talk was and is exactly what I need to see myself more clearly and to break out of those of my patterns that are holding me back. I left the session with more clarity, clear goals, increased confidence and some tangible action points. Anel’s approach is honest, clear and to the point. I loved the naked truths and the bold look at even sensitive situations making these very tangible and highly actionable.”

Book your Ignite session and let’s get your thrive on.

How you receive feedback says more about you than the feedback.

I have a confession to make.

I love watching talent shows.

“So you think you can dance” will always be my favourite.  This probably has something to do with my dream to become a professional dancer.

A dream crushed by a knee injury at the age of eighteen.

But once a dancer, always a dancer.  Now I simply dance on my bike, or out on a run, or even doing yoga.

Currently I’m watching “The X Factor” and I’m fascinated as contestants shows their bright side in the ‘before’ interviews, and reveal their true colours during the auditions.

Let’s just start off by stating that we’re all human!

Negative feedback is NEVER pleasant to receive.

EVER.

When you’ve had the courage to face down your fears and leave yourself exposed, to be judged, it stings like a mother when the answer is NO.

Yet true achievers take it in.

They absorb.

They put it to one side and remain professional all the way out the door, waiting for the right time to process.  To dissect. To go inside and ask themselves “Does this feel true to me?”

True achievers understand that sometimes criticism is based on the bias of the judge and has nothing to do with them.

True achievers understand that sometimes they simply trigger others and receive inaccurate feedback or criticism which doesn’t belong to them.

They take the time to evaluate where the feedback is coming from.  If from a source they respect, they will adjust their actions, taking on board all they can to improve their performance.

If however the feedback is from a spectator, one who doesn’t even have the balls to be in the game, they’ll simply smile and nod and disregard.

Wannabes on the other hand has a completely different reaction to criticism.

They explode!

They defend themselves.

They beg!

“Please Simon, just give me another chance.  I know I can do better.  Pleeeeeeease!”

But life is not a fucking dress rehearsal Darling.

When you’re on stage you have to give it your all!  You can’t afford to hold back?  For what?

Let’s take it back to your bike, my favourite place.

You’re out training.  It’s intervals.  Fuuuuuuck – I adore hating intervals.

Amateurs look at the program and think to themselves:  “I have five intervals to do.  So I have to pace myself in the first three, give it a little more by number four and then hammer number five.”

Hell no!

You leave it all out on every single one of those.

From the very first.

When the program says MAX effort you blow your legs EVERY FUCKING INTERVAL!

And if you puke by number three, good.

If max effort by number five is a pathetic attempt that has a granny pass you, BRILLIANT!

That’s how real achievers train.

That’s how real achievers become strong.

That’s how real achievers audition.

That’s how real achievers perform.

Real achievers don’t beg.

They take the punch, they go do more work, become better, stronger, and they come back to prove they’ve got what it takes.

Wannabes throw diva-like tantrums.  They blame the judges.  They blame the stress.  They blame the fact that their dog ate the musical sheets this morning.

They burn their bridges and not in a good way.

Because even if they come back the next year they’ve left a bad taste in the mouths of the judges.

They’ve given themselves a huge disadvantages from which to recover.

True performers look into the future.

They walk off that stage with the foresight that their current exit will set the stage for their next entrance.

They don’t blame anyone or anything for a bad performance.  They know that ultimately they are the creators of their success.  They also understand that shit happens.  That not all days are created equal.  That the one thing they are in charge of is themselves – their thoughts, their emotions, their actions.

They take it all on themselves.

All of it.

Total responsibility.

Total accountability.

Total power Baby.

You’re probably wondering what all of this has to do with you?

Well Darling – I want you to sit down today and evaluate your past response to criticism.

I want you to take a compassionate look with the intention of growth.

Have you historically blown up when others gave you negative feedback?  Have you thrown your arms in the air and immediately deflected everything back to them?  Have you gone home and told all your friends that this idiot has no idea what they’re talking about.  That your boss is a dick.  That the company was being inconsiderate and their expectations were ludicrous.  Because it wasn’t your fault.

Have you been, dare I say it? showing up as a wannabe?

Or have you taken the good and the bad feedback on board.  Walked away and sat down asking yourself if you respect the source it came from?  Asked yourself if it is true for you?  Asked yourself which blindspots this feedback has illuminated for you?  Taken the feedback to improve your performance?

THAT my friend is the mark of a true achiever.

It’s not easy.

Especially for true achievers.  As we all have the ego-thing going on.

But if your ego is greater than your desire for success, you’re not an achiever.

You’re just one of the sheople.

You only want feedback that makes you feel good.  Feedback that strokes your ego or is delivered in a way that’s all soft and mushy – like a baby eating pureed food.

I just want to say as well, that at any given time, you can change your ways.  You can change your expectations of yourself.  You can take back your power and rise to the true magnificence you are capable of.  You can choose to be a true achiever.

It’s a choice.

There’s no room in heaven where the storks line up and get given a package that says “Achiever destined for success” or “Sheople destined for average at best”.

We’re all created equal.

It’s a choice how we live.

Death is inevitable.

Thriving like a motherfucking achiever, is a choice.

With love eternal,

Anel

PS:  Part of being coachable as a client, is the ability to receive feedback.  It’s about having a hunger for success that has your ego for breakfast.  For you desire greatness.  You desire to achieve.  And you know that you have blindspots.  You know there are areas in your life where you’re just too close to the situation to see what is truly going on.

And you want to see!

You want a new perspective.

New insights.

New ways of doing things so that you can bask in the glory of next level thrive.

I only work with true achievers.  Those who are ready to take full responsibility and accountability for the results in their lives.  The leaders, creatives, entrepreneurs in the world who do the work to live the dream.

For the months of November and December I’m offering Ignite Sessions for those who are ready to create their next level vision.  During our ninety minutes together we’ll  gain clarity on your true desires and set the goals to achieve them.  This is also an excellent opportunity to see if we’re a powerful fit for coaching and should you wish to continue working with me the investment of the Ignite session will be deducted from your six month package.

 

Successful People Know Their Big Why

The training had started.

And it was intense!

I have a series of motivational talks on my iPhone which I play when training sessions become truly challenging.

You know when I’m talking about – those sessions when your legs feel like led and you wonder how the hell you’ll ever finish this run today?

The times when you just want to sit down and cry because you’re so exhausted.  When the pavement looks as comfortable as a queen size bed, down duvet and all.

But sleeping is not an option because sleep is not going to get you to the start line and it sure as hell won’t get you to the finish line.

You can sleep once you’re dead.

One of these talks have a line which states “Successful people know their big why”.

A line etched deep inside my mind.

This is the missing key for so many born achievers who love setting the exquisite goals.  The challenging goals.  The goals that most turn away from in fear saying “I can NEVER do that”.

But you and I never say never.

We set those big scary goals and we immediately start taking massive action.

Sometimes to our detriment.

Sometimes we’re so eager to get started that we neglect the foundation of success which is understanding our big why.

If you’ve historically set those big goals and given up before the finish line I’m willing to bet that this is the missing piece for you too.

You see Darling, if you don’t take the time to go deep into that all important Why, there will come a time when the demands of the journey becomes too much of an ask and you’ll give up.

And it takes some serious soul searching.

 

I’m yet to meet a client who upon first encounter convinced me of their goals.  Who’s passion alone shows me that this is an absolute non-negotiable for them.

Not that it’s not important to them.

All our goals and dreams are important.

But we need to anchor it with more than just desire.  Anchoring which takes time and let’s be honest here, the number one reason why most people don’t live their dreams is because they’ve convinced themselves they don’t have time.

Modern society is all about instant gratification.  We’ve lost the patience to lay a foundation that’s going to withstand the storms, the quakes, the movement of land mass.

If you’re serious about conquering the enemy in the mirror, if you’re serious about embracing obstacles, if you’re serious about sacrificing to achieve, you better be prepared to bore down and find a reason that will outshine any pain that you will endure on your epic journey.

For there will be pain!

You will hear me say this ad nauseum.  Because it’s true.

If you want to be the epic achiever you were born to be, you need to put a t-spoon of cement in your morning coffee and Harden The Fuck Up (HTFU for future reference).

This is where you run where few dare tread, because they feel that if they can’t find a big enough why they will have to admit the fact that they’re just fucking around, keeping busy, setting ego based goals to get a noddy badge from others.

And so they should.

And so should you!

If you can’t find a big enough why to get you through whatever life will throw at you, if you’re not prepared to die for your goal, then don’t set it.

Find the real goal instead.

Dig deeper.

Go bigger.

More YOU.

Ultimately you want to set the goals that will change you at your core.  The goals that will have you grow mentally, physically, spiritually.  The goals that will shift your ass into your next level self where you operate on a different level than you are today.

You want to set the goals where you have to learn new skills, new knowledge, new sides to yourself that you didn’t even know existed.

You want to set the goals that will make your life better in some way or another.

Go back to your definition of success and ask yourself if this goal reflects your next level success?

You want to connect your goal to the improvement of life for others.  If you’re in my tribe then you and I both know that you were born to lead, to inspire, to change, to motivate, to empower others through your life.

Let me tell you that there were times when I was in so much pain running that tears were streaming down my face and I was vomiting on the pavement.  But I refused to stop.  I WOULD NOT GIVE UP BECAUSE EVERY STEP I TOOK WAS ENERGETICALLY INSPIRING A STRANGER.

I will die for those who are not thriving.

I will die for those who are comatised by average existence.

And if I will die for them I sure as hell will run for them.

If it wasn’t for them, I would have stopped.  I would have listened to the medical professionals and never even attempted to run.

I chose instead to connect with my purpose.  Connect with those I’m here to serve.

Death before DNS (did not serve).

You need to figure out who else you are impacting through your achievement.  And here’s a little heads up for you, it’s normally the quiet ones.  The ones who never applaud publicly.  They are the ones who feel a gentle flame ignite within whenever they see you.

YOU are changing their lives forever.

You also want to figure out the pain of failure.  And here you want to be ruthless.  You want to make the pain hurt like a motherfucker so that no matter how much the journey hurts, every time you look at THIS pain, you push on!

You take another step.

You take another action.

You take another breath.

Because just facing the possible pain of failure has you twisted up in foetal position rocking back and forth.

I also want to say to you today, with the big goals, the epic goals, the non-negotiable goals, it’s NEVER finished until it is finished.

The first time I attempted the Midmar Mile they pulled my ass out halfway.  I didn’t make the cut-off time.

I didn’t climb off that boat saying “Oh dear, I failed”.  Not a chance.

I climbed off and said “another 365 days bitches.  I’ll be back”.

I was.

I finished.

I got my little medal.

It’s never ever over until you win.

Ever.

But for you to swallow your pride and be prepared to go back time and again taking the learning along the way, your big why better be rock solid.

Is it Darling?

Have a look at the goals you’ve set so far.

Can you find more than ten reasons why you will die for this?

Can you write down more than ten reasons how this will change you, better your life, be in alignment with your purpose, have a positive impact on others?

Is the pain of not achieving your goal greater than any pain you will encounter on the journey?

If it’s not, throw that goal in the bin and dig deeper.  Get more inspired.

You’re way too epic to screw around with mediocre goals.

Your soul already knows this.

She is waiting for you to get to the juicy ones.

She’s waiting for you to wake the fuck up and thrive.

Successful people know their big why.

 

PS:  This is Chapter Three in my book Life In The Thrive Lane, if you’d love to read the rest simply go here for the audio version or here for Amazon Kindle.

Apology-syndrome

 

I was recently privy to a guided meditation around the impact of continuously saying “sorry”.

I have to confess, when I first sat down I pulled my nose up smugly.

After all, everyone knows I don’t apologise.

I live a life of conscious choice.

I live a life aligned with my personal values – conformity be damned.

Yet as I sat with my eyes closed, shutting out the world, shutting out my ego, listening to the guidance taking me on a journey of awareness, tears slowly slipped down my cheeks.

For the first time I came to see just how deeply ingrained the apology reflex is from an early age.

It’s become the norm to the point that most of us aren’t even aware of how often we say “sorry”.

We are conditioned to apologise for everything.

How we ‘make’ others feel.

Speaking our truth.

Taking up space.

Our very existence.

And once I started awakening to this, I was completely horrified as I noticed how often I utter the despicable word myself.

Out walking my dogs and apologising to strangers because my girls bark.

Out riding my bike and apologising to others who stand to the side to give me space to pass.

In the shops as I get to the front of the line first.

All the time!

It’s ridiculous.

What’s even worse was how often other people were apologising to me!

I kept thinking ‘What are you apologising for?  You haven’t done anything wrong!’

It comes down to the fact that apologising has simply become a reflex.

And in many ways it keeps us shrinking.  Keeps us small.

In our place as our parents demanded when we were kids.

Absurd.

You might think this doesn’t really warrant your attention, but I invite you to consider the other side of the coin.

The other impact this is having in our society, in our relationships, in our lives.

I hear people apologising for their behaviour on a consistent basis without any true regret.

They feel that since they’ve apologised they’ve wiped the slate clean and now they can just carry on.  There’s not even a breath of hesitation or consideration.

Majority of the time doing exactly the same shit and apologising ad nauseam .

What the fuck?

Has “sorry” become a “Get out of Jail Free” card?

Do you really think it changes anything?

Do you really feel that as long as you say you’re sorry that others OWE it to you to forgive you?

That it levels the playing field?

That is makes your asinine behaviour okay?

I don’t think so.

I believe it’s time we stop apologising and instead we start focussing on asking for forgiveness.

True forgiveness.

Which means you have to consider the impact of your actions, evaluate if it’s caused harm, have true regret, and then apologise.

Other than that, don’t ask for forgiveness just because you think you will get a noddy badge.

True forgiveness also begs you to take a look at your own pain.

It takes you to look at your behaviour and enquire why you’re abandoning your values?

Why you’re sabotaging happiness?

Here’s my observation:

I see people doing stupid shit, saying sorry, feeling like shit for saying sorry, feeling like a loser, feeling small, miserable as fuck.  From this space they create a belief that they’re worthless, not good enough, flawed.  From this space they take actions which conforms to the picture of a victim to their incompetence, the circumstances which is a direct result of their stupid shit in the first place, thereby creating the next level of stupid shit.

Which they apologise for without thinking.

It’s a downward spiral into a bottomless pit of hell called victimhood.

Fuck sorry.

Stop doing stupid shit.

Start living in a way that fills you with pride.

Live in a way that is in alignment with your core values.

Live in a way that makes you happy!

Live unapologetically!

Does this mean you’ll never again ask for forgiveness?

Hell no!

We’re human.

I believe part of our deal was to come and bump into others, to step on toes, to hit our heads.

I believe part of our life is learning to truly forgive ourselves.

I believe part of our journey is being humble and considerate enough to ask for forgiveness from others for any hurt we’ve caused them.

We always have the opportunity to learn from our mistakes.

Learning being the key here.

If you’re just continuously apologising without learning it means jack shit Darling.

So here are the meditation questions that really turned “sorry” on it’s head for me:

What cultural messages have you internalised regarding the expectation and habit of apologising?

In what ways are you currently diminishing yourself with unnecessary apologies?

What would it feel like to give yourself permission to stop saying “I’m sorry” for things that do not really require an apology?

This blog is simply about creating awareness for more empowered living my friend.

It’s time for us as a species to wake up and to live consciously in all aspects of our lives.

Starting with our language.

Your words are more powerful than you realise.

Choose them wisely.

For death is inevitable.

Thriving is a choice for which you must never apologise.

With love eternal,

Anel

PS:  Are you ready to create a life on your terms which includes happiness, change, abundance and contribution?  A life that fills you with pride?  A life where apology is no longer needed as your actions are aligned with your values?

Not sure where to start?

Then I invite you to connect with me.

Part of my role as your coach is to help you see the bigger picture so that you may take the most impactful course of action.

Ruddy Mukwamu said “Anel made me see the impact my business has on people’s life that I may not even know; planning appropriately and sticking to the plan guarantees results which has an impact in our delivery, which impact our clients satisfactions. When they are happy about our work and delivery, so are their friends and family members.”

Book your free consult and let’s see how I may serve you in living your unapologetic life of thrive.

 

 

 

There’s only ever ONE acceptable standard

No more excuses.

No more sabotage.

YOU my Darling, are a born leader.

Yet the leaders seem to have been stripped from their pride, from their standards, from their truth.

Living in a society where excellence is frowned upon, pride is sinful, and we have to fucking save everyone too lazy to do the work themselves, is beyond challenging for a true achiever.

And what I’ve witnessed is leaders being brainwashed to believe that their standards are impossible to meet.  That they can’t possibly expect from others what they expect from themselves.

Relentless pursuit of dreams.

Sacrifice.

Hustle.

Instead you’re told you have to cut others some slack.

Oh, and the masses of average have infiltrated all the systems which keep you in line.

Labor laws that screw you over in the blink of an eye.

I’ve experienced this first hand.

Back in the day when I owned a recruitment company, I had staff sit in my office, using my equipment, my internet, my forms, my processes, slap another logo on and run their own illegal business from my premises, during the hours I was paying them, even going as far as phoning my clients, and then when they were exposed and I let them go, I was the one being sued.

True story.

The pure fact that people have the audacity to behave in this manner and be protected by the ‘law’ is illustrative of just how fucked up the system is.

Yes, this is an extreme example, but the fear of being sued is what keeps so many businesses from thriving.

During the interview everyone puts their best foot forward, telling you whatever they want you to hear.

Testimonials are not reliable – after all, it’s against the law to give a reference that could prevent a person from finding other employment.

So you put your faith in them and offer them the position.

All new brooms sweep clean, but within six months mediocrity always starts shining through.

Standards start failing.

They tell you that it’s too hard.

That you’re not giving them sufficient training.

It’s too much to do.

Or they just fuck up.

Again and again.

Until you finally just decide to do it yourself.

Which means that not only does your creative juices suffer as you’re bogged down once again in technician mode, but you’re still paying their salary.

You’re tired of fighting so you just give in.

You settle for average employees.

And your business will never grow past average.

For it’s true that your business will never surpass your energy, your mindset, your standards.

Since your business is your baby, your career brings you joy, why not make it excellent?

Starting with standards of excellence.

Those standards of excellence has to start with YOU my friend.

You have to raise yourself back up to your true standards.

That includes everything in your life.

Your nutrition.

Your training.

Your spiritual practice.

Your relationships.

What you wear.

What you eat.

Everything!

For it’s all connected.

Then you bring these standards of excellence in your professional operation.

You set yourself and your staff up for success.

You write out your company values, your company vision, your company’s purpose in this world.

When you recruit you ensure you have a match.

If you ask your candidates their personal values and they don’t even know, move on.

Only employ those who are serious about themselves.  Serious about their success.

For they will never be more loyal to you than to themselves.

If their values are in conflict with yours, move on.

Ask them their life purpose.

If their purpose is in conflict with the mission of the business, move on.

I know this seems ruthless.

I know this seems an impossible ask.

But I wouldn’t expect anything less from you.

Seriously, if you’ve not taken the time to figure out YOUR values, YOUR purpose, then why not?

Are you not truly an achiever?

A sheep in wolf’s clothing?

Employ those who take themselves seriously and they will take your business serious.

When you strike gold and you know this person is an excellent fit for your company, you lay down the law.

Yes – your castle, your rules.

And you NEVER make exceptions.

Your systems are EXCELLENT.

Your operations manuals are EXCELLENT.

When you have meetings you come in prepared.  You get to the point.  You have a clear objective and you have the conversations that gives you your desired outcomes.

Continuous development is not negotiable – for yourself, for your staff.

Stop tolerating!

What is toleration costing you?

Really costing you?

In energy?

In time spent raging in frustration where you have to go through the entire emotional cycle of irritation, anger, fear, and then pull yourself back up to determined?

Wasted time!

Wasted energy!

Wasted mind-power!

What is it costing you in loss of business?

For every bad apple always rubs off on your team which impacts your clients

The more disgruntled they get, the more coffee you pay for.

For all those motherfuckers are continuously brining their colleagues coffee whispering poison into their ears.

You know this is true.

Nothing will change until that day when you decide you are no longer willing to tolerate average anything.

When you’re done with everyone ‘trying their best’.

There is no trying.

There is only do or don’t.

And let’s just be clear that I’m not only speaking to business owners and CEO’s here.

I’m speaking to you!

Get over your job title and step up as the leader you were born to be.

Take responsibility.

If you’re making tea and cleaning the office, I’m talking to you too!

Take pride in your career.

In your profession.

Raise your standards to excellence.

There’s simply no more excuses for laziness.

If you’re serious about raising your standards of living, your standards of impact, your standards of thrive, then I invite you to sit down and take a look at your life today.

Where are you operating on levels less than excellence?  Where you’ve let things slide?  Where you’ve become lazy?

What are you tolerating that’s causing you discomfort?  Pain?  Draining your energy?

What is the impact of this on your life?

The real impact?

The true impact?

All of it.

That’s all for today.

Today is just about getting real with yourself.  To take off the rose coloured glasses and see the truth.

Without all the excuses and all the societal bullshit of what you can and can’t expect. Can or can’t do.

As long as we excuse others, we are keeping them stuck.

We’re telling them they’re not capable of more.

That someone else will pick up their slack.

Enough and no more!

It’s time for you to raise your standards back to excellence.

For death is inevitable.

Thriving is an excellent choice.

With love always,

Anel

PS:  Are you ready for an unbiased look at your current circumstances?  Ready to get clear on your true desires.  The standards of excellence in every area of your life that’s your birthright?  Are you ready to set the goals that will shift you from where you are to where you want to be?

Ignite is 90 minutes of pure focussed clarity.

In our time together we shift you out of your energy of settling for less and unleash your truth.  We get crystal clear on what’s truly impacting you in not living your life of thrive and set the goals that will bridge the gap.

 

This is an intense session where ego is left at the door for your desire to thrive can no longer be contained.

Traci Johnson took the plunge and this is what she said – “90 minutes with Anel moved me forward on many many levels. She cuts straight to the point and doesn’t mince words. It is always a firm but gentle kick in the ass!
She has the ability to get straight to the heart of the issue and ask the right questions to cause you to resolve them quickly and clearly. Far more valuable than the cost!!”

Book your session here and let’s shift you today!

 

 

When you’re at the top, you’re in fact on the bottom.

High Achiever:  “a person who achieves more than the average person in their work.”

Google – Dude – what a shitty definition.

It nowhere near accurately describes who high achievers are.

In fact, one could say this is an average definition.

One that really annoys me.

For it’s bullshit definitions such as these that keep people achieving lower levels of success than they’re truly capable of.

The true high achiever doesn’t give a rat’s ass what the average person does in their work.

A high achiever doesn’t even look at the job description.

A high achiever is incapable of relating to average anyone.

And true high achievers know that work is simply one aspect of their lives.

That everything is connected and related.

They know that being a high achiever means epic accomplishments in EVERY aspect of their lives.

Their fitness.

Their health.

Their relationships.

Their impact.

YES, for high achievers it’s never about doing a job.

It’s about being the best of the best of the best in everything they do.

They’re never satisfied.

You know what I’m talking about Darling – that insatiable hunger that no matter what you’ve just achieved, you want more.

Your tummy still grumbles for greater.

You know that you’re never at the top.

You’re always at the bottom.

For your life is a spiral which means each time you’ve crushed your goal, crossed the finish line, reached the top, you’ve simply taken the first step in the next adventure.  You’ve reached the bottom of the next climb.

This is the life of a high achiever.

And it’s fucking spectacular.

When you take this perspective of a high achiever you start understanding that they’re truly as scarce as chicken teeth.

That’s because most people love labelling themselves high achievers.

They might have the courage to set a goal to prove it.

A stunning goal.

A challenging goal.

A goal that fills their loved ones with pride and admiration.

Some of them will even do the work to achieve said goal.

Few will even go as far as to invest in their goal – bringing on board the coaches, mentors, experts to ensure success.

Fewer still will strike gold.

Yet the taste of success is so foreign to them, such a shock to their bland palate of average, that they’re satisfied and go back to being average.

A one hit wonder.

They don’t have the stamina, the desire, the grit, to create the next level goals, the next level hustle, the next level epic, again and again.

True high achievers do.

True high achievers start setting the next level goals BEFORE they’ve even crossed the finish line.

They know that the euphoria of victory is short lived and that if the next challenge is not already lined up, they will sink into the dark well of depression.

You see it all the time.

People achieve a goal and then they sit down, shoulders slumped over, head hanging, wondering ‘what now?’

True high achievers don’t settle for tired.

They keep going past exhaustion.

When they fall to their knees, they go inside, dig deep, find their drive, find their passion, connect to their fucking rage, and they rise.

They always rise.

Until their bodies are completely spent and they have to be carried away on a stretcher.

And once they are healed, they go back onto the battle field.

They keep coming back for more until their soul departs from their body.

Death is the only force that stops a high achiever.

High achievers have a bottomless pit of energy which is beyond average comprehension.

People think they need to rest when they are in fact ready to speed up.

Stop comparing yourself to the average person.

Stop living by the principles of normality.

Stop thinking that your body, your soul, responds the same to lying on the beach, to sitting down, to resting, as the average Jo.

It doesn’t.

It took my cycling coach almost three months to figure out that my body DETESTS rest.

To understand that when he thought he was making me stronger, he was draining me of my power.

He had to go back to the drawing board and create plans that kept my body working seven days a week.  365 days a year.

He had to get clever and figure out a way to work her in a way that includes active recovery, next level.

My body thrives in work.

My soul thrives in hustle.

I don’t want to lie in a fucking bath every night.

I know that for some this is heaven.

For me it’s hell.

Give me an invigorating shower and let me get back to that which lights me up like hellfire.

Give me the next challenge.

The next goal.

My next thrive.

Are you still so eager to call yourself a high achiever my friend?

Are you still hungry for more?

Are you willing to sacrifice peace of mind for exhilaration of adventure?

Are you willing to release the people who are lovingly keeping you at average?

Are you willing to stop sabotaging your epic with bullshit habits?

Then it’s time to take an honest look at your levels of achievement this year and to see where you’re still holding yourself back.

Where you can do more, be more, have more.

It’s time to get off your high pedestal and embrace the bottom.

To become the beginner at your next level.

This is the life of a high achiever.

For death is inevitable.

Thriving is an epic choice.

With love eternal,

Anel

PS:  I work with high achievers.  Men and women who are never satisfied.  Always hungry for more.  Willing to do the work that has the average person walk away before they’ve even started.

I know for a fact that high achievers require focus, structure and challenge.

They thrive with goals.

They rise when the goals seem impossible.

They understand that in order for them to achieve their desired results, they have to take a holistic view of life and get real with themselves.

This is exactly why I’m offering Ignition Sessions for the months of November and December.

To keep your momentum. To raise your vibration to higher than ever before.

Ninety minutes to take a real look at your life categories, your habits, your desires.

To nail down your next level goals and to support you in your achievement with clear direction to your finish line.

Book your session if you’re ready to get uncomfortable, to get excited, to thrive.

 

 

 

Just because you were born for greatness doesn’t mean you’ll be great.

I don’t believe in destiny.

I don’t believe in entitlement.

I don’t believe it’s our birthright to succeed regardless of how little we are prepared to do.

I believe in possibility.

I believe that we are all born with the potential to live iconic lives.

I believe that we are all born with unique talents and gifts that we are here to offer to humanity.

But

I also believe we have to decide that we’re going to achieve greatness and then do the fucking work every single day.

And if you’re rolling your eyes, sticking out your bottom lip and sulking “I don’t want to do the work anymore.  I’m exhausted, I’m done” then go away.

Go sit in the sandpit with the other toddlers smelling the shit in your nappy.

When your discomfort turns to real pain from the rash on your bottom, come back and read this piece again and then get moving.

If you’re still with me then let’s get you on fire and focussed, creating iconic.

It’s November.

It’s been one helluva challenging year.

The Universe has tolerated our insolence long enough and is now taking us on a wild ride where we have to face all that we’ve not been willing to face before.

Belief systems are being cracked wide open and we’re given the opportunity to reconnect with our personal truth.

Governments are being exposed for the corruption, the destruction they have brought to Mother Earth in the exploitation of her resources in the never-ending hunger for more power.

Schools are being investigated for the raping of our youth’s spirits through a system based on conformity and oppression of individuality resulting in our children being treated for bullshit with drugs designed to disconnect them from their true power – their emotions.  Watch The Golden Compass if you want to see what’s really happening.

And let me tell you my friend, our youth are pissed, with good reason.

Women are rising from injustice and taking back their rightful place BESIDE their empowered masculine thereby unfurling their feminine power of creation.

Men are shaken to their core as their emotions will no longer be denied and they have little direction on how to deal.  So they drink.  They smoke.  They sit in front of their PS games desperately trying to escape back to a youth long past desperately holding on to the illusive Peter Pan syndrome.

It’s fucking chaos out there.

And it’s in this time of chaos that we receive the opportunity for our greatest awakening.

To choose differently.

To find the silence within.

To get focussed.

To achieve!

This takes monumental levels of commitment.

It takes a new level of hunger where all the bullshit choices are taken off the table – no longer accessible.  No longer temptuous.

If you’re done with the petulant behaviour of a two year old, there will never be a better time to take your life to the next level than right now.

It starts with getting VERY real with where you’re at today.

Without holding back for the sake of your fragile ego.

I mean absolutely 100% brutal.

It starts with looking at your health and fitness levels, your spiritual practice, your business, your finances, your relationships, the extent of your orgasms and asking yourself if they are at the highest levels available to you in this lifetime.

Not from where you’re at right now.

Your bank balance might be in the red right now, BUT your POTENTIAL is to be a billionnaire if that is what you truly desire.

Your scale might run out the back door when it sees you coming BUT your POTENTIAL is to have a body with curves that has heads turning with jealousy and admiration wherever you go.

Your marriage might be falling apart BUT your POTENTIAL is for a relationship of passion, support, excitement, connection, adventure.

Unless you OWN the fact that you are not playing in your realm of possibility you will never start doing the work to break free from your current level of comfort.

You have to go beyond being uncomfortable.

You have to get pissed.

You have to rage at your ego for how safe you’ve been playing it – recreating the same patterns for decades wondering why the hell you’re not creating phenomenal levels of success.

THIS my Darling is how you wake the fuck up.

Which means you have to stop comparing yourself to those around you.

They’re on the same vibrational level as you.

Aim higher!

You have to stop asking those around you for their opinions of you because quite frankly, they will always tell you what your pathetic ego wants to hear.

You have to stop settling, for we receive what we tolerate.

Which means if you’re willing to tolerate fear, you will receive mediocre existence in bucket loads.

If you’re willing to tolerate being treated with disinterest by your partner, you will receive loneliness.

If you’re willing to tolerate McDonals, you will receive obesity.

It’s as simple as that.

And here’s the thing, even once you’ve decided enough and no more, when you’ve decide you will no longer tolerate less than magnificent, even when you decide that you WILL RISE nobody else is going to make it happen for you.

There’s no magic wand.

Stop looking at fat burners for the solution!

YOU HAVE TO DO THE FUCKING WORK!

Because you’re starving.

Because you’re on fire and you simply can’t sit still another moment.

Yes, the Universe will always provide everything that you need to succeed, but it’s a partnership.  It’s call CO-creating for a reason.  It’s not called a goddamned fairy tale.

Which means that you have to get crystal clear on what you are 110% committed to achieving.

Stop fucking around with fluffy.

Fluffy goals.

Fluffy reasons.

Fluffy language.

And be careful what you ask for – for you will always receive it.

It’s in the details of the asking.

Which means if you ask for what you don’t want, you will receive more of that!

Be willing to sacrifice.  To let go of that which no longer serves you.  To sever ties with the energy vampires, the low vibrational lazy assholes who want to ride your gravy train without buying a ticket.

Be willing to change.  To embrace the routines and the structures that you weren’t willing to put in place up until now because of your bullshit.

Structure and routine is simply not to be messed with if you’re serious about success.

Be willing to face your greatest enemy – YOU!

Your subconscious beliefs.

Your stories.

Your fear.

Your pain.

For it is only once you embrace all of you, bring it back into the fold, that you can become the powerful whole you were born as.  It is then that you become your greatest ally.

YOU CAN BE, DO AND HAVE IT ALL!

It’s yours for the taking.

But you’ll never reach out if you’re not starving.

If you’re bloated with mediocrity.

If you’re suffocating with existence.

If you’re fucking dead.

Do you choose to thrive?

With love eternal,

Anel

PS:  It’s that time of the year my Darling.

It’s that time of the year when 99% of people are winding down, giving up, saying “next year will be different”.

Screw that.

2017 is not yet done and neither are you.

This is the time when the 1% takes a step back, review, learn and set the next level goals.

If you’re the 1%, ready to go next level, hungry to go further than you ever have before, and you desire a solid foundation, I’m offering Ignition sessions for the months of November and December.

In 90 minutes we will take a holistic view of your life.

We will identify exactly how you’re sabotaging your thrive.

I will unlock your greatest desires, mould them into inspirational goals that has you on fire, and cement those babies down rock solid with purpose, beliefs and strategy.

90 minutes will blow your mind.

Limited spots available so grab yours today and let’s get you rocking to the beat of your own drum.

 

 

 

What would you do if you had a reset button?

My husband woke up this morning, all crumply from his sleep he turned to me:

“I had the most bizarre dream.  I dreamt we had a reset button.”

Interesting.  So I asked him what the reset button was for.

“Anything we wanted to do over.”

Hmmmmmm, my first thought was that in all honesty, I wouldn’t want a reset button.

Yes there’s a lot of things in my life which didn’t exactly have thrilling outcomes.

Things that caused me pain.

Things that left me less than satisfied.

But would I do it differently?

No.

Every choice I made, every decision, every outcome, led me to this exact moment in time.

Any one different action would not have me sitting here in my gorgeous office, looking at my rose bush as the first bud opens her brilliance.

I wouldn’t be reflecting and sharing this blog with you.

My boys wouldn’t be eating breakfast in the kitchen.

I wouldn’t be working with my current clients – and I do have so much fun working with them!

I wouldn’t be doing yoga in the mornings and riding my bike through the forest behind my home.

My life is pretty fucking spectacular.

And above all, I love the journey that has led me to this moment.

I love learning.

I love fucking up so that I can pause and question.

Question my values.

Question my actions.

Question my patterns of behaviour.

Question my thoughts.

Take the time to reconnect with my emotions.

It’s all there.

For me that’s what life is ultimately about.

Yet I guess for people who don’t take the time to do the deep introspection and receive the golden nuggets of remembered wisdom, it would seem that life is a snow-ball running down a mountain of manure.

That can’t be too pleasant.

And the stench filling your nostrils is nothing more than guilt and regret my friend.

Two emotions which quite frankly is a waste of your precious journey.

Guilt and regret puts you in a state of victimhood.

It makes you feel like an epic failure, swiftly cutting off your scrotum and handing it to you on a plate with a sprinkle of nuts and honey.

Why the fuck would you choose to live like this??

It simply blows my mind.

What if instead you chose today to sit your sexy ass down and journal the fuck out of your life?

Everything.

The relationships you’ve had.  How they made you feel.  The beauty they brought to your life.  The pain.  The mirrors.

The financial decisions you’ve made.  How they impacted your current situation.  How they’ve shown you opportunities to educate yourself on wealth consciousness.  How every cent you’ve made and lost was nothing more than an awakening to the fact that abundance is an emotion!  Inside of you. It has nothing to do with your bank balance.

The career paths you’ve chosen.  The jobs that had you thriving and those that left you drained in the morning.  Gorgeous hints of your soul purpose, your soul work.  As your aligned path always has you lit up like a Christmas tree!

What if you questioned everything that they taught you in school, in church.  And instead of just taking everything at face value, you go inside and ask yourself “Does this feel true for me?” and then base your future actions on that?

Regardless of the frowns.  Regardless of the haters who bash down your door, telling you that you’re drenched in sin.  Who’s fucking sin anyway?

What if you chose today, right now, in this moment, to make peace with your human form?  

YES you fucked up.

Darling, seriously, get over yourself.

The whole ‘victim’ look really doesn’t do anything for your complexion.

Quite frankly I simply don’t get the point of living a life of regret.

And if you’re sitting there shaking your head thinking that it’s easy for me to say, let me tell you that me sharing my truth is the result of decades of personal development work.

And it continues.

Forever.

Well, until I croak anyway.

Then I’ll look at my lifetime and say “Wow, that took me long enough.  I want to go back and do it again, this time I want a new PB time of remembering”

Yeah, always the competitor.

Furthermore my Darling, you DO have a reset button.

It’s called sunrise.

Every single day you get a clean slate – you just have to choose to take it.

So here’s my two favourite tools to live a life of zero regrets that I want to share with you today.

First of all – fucking forgive!

Say this Prayer of Forgiveness written by Lisa Barnett for the next forty days consecutively and feel the release!

Divine, Spirit, Source, please move me into a state of forgiveness towards anyone or anything that has hurt me, whether consciously or unconsciously, from the beginning of time to the present moment.  I now forgive them and I release the energy of the past.

Divine, Spirit, Source, please move me into a state of forgiveness towards myself for any hurt I have caused others, whether consciously or unconsciously, from the beginning of time to the present moment.  I now forgive myself and I release the energy of the past.

Divine, Spirit, Source, please move me into a state of forgiveness towards myself for any hurt that I have caused myself, whether consciously or unconsciously, from the beginning of time to the present moment.  I now forgive myself and I release the energy of the past.

I invoke the Grace and power of Forgiveness to transform my body, mind and heart as I return to a state of Divine Innocence.

And so it is.

Blessed Be.

Amen.

My second tool is evening reflections!

Here’s the thing – if you don’t take the time to receive the beautiful learnings of today you feel reluctant to let go and start over tomorrow.  This is why you keeping lugging that shit around with you like a trophy, except it’s absolutely exhausting you.

Time to do things differently.

My personal questions which I journal on each night is a reflection of my values so feel free to use them or to adapt them to reflect your own:

What was great about today? What did I love?

How have I added value to someone’s life today?

What did I learn today that I didn’t know yesterday?

What did I do really well today?

What can I do even better tomorrow?

So roughly fifteen minutes a day can completely transform your life.

And yes, it’s really that fucking easy!

Stop sabotaging your joy by complicating everything.

Death is inevitable.

Thriving is a choice starting with forgiveness.

With love always,

Anel

PS:  As we move into the last phase of the year it’s time to release that which no longer serves you.  To find the deep learning that will make you thrill in the obstacles you’ve encountered in 2017.  It’s the time to take stock of where you’re at, reconnect with your true desires, and create your next level thrive.

Working with a life coach is about taking a holistic view of your life, of your patterns of behaviour, of your belief systems, eliminating those that are tripping you up and embracing new ones that empower and elevate you.

It’s a journey of achievement.

It’s a journey of discovery and learning.

It’s about a safe space where you find the courage to speak your shadow truth thereby illuminating your subconscious drivers.

If you’re ready to receive a new level of truth delivered with shit tons of love and none of the social nuances thereby busting through your glass ceilings, let’s connect.  Book your consult and let’s identify how I can best serve you on your journey to thrive Darling.

Who do you need to liberate with your thrive?

As I sat under the full moon on Saturday, asking for clarity on what to release, I had no idea what I was in for.

Then it hit me yesterday.

It’s time to burn my precious journals.

Decades’ worth of my life experiences captured on pages.

Some of those words were written with great joy and appreciation.

Some of them smeared as ink blent with tears simultaneously pouring onto the page.

Releasing the torrents within.

Finding the insights obscured inside my mind.

There’s a shit ton of pages.

I’ve been moving these trusted confidents with me from Pretoria to Kinnegad, to Port Elizabeth, to Johannesburg, to Pegasus City.

And today I’m offering them up to my ancestors to break the chains formed by my patterns of behaviour.  I am releasing them to Creator to transform learning into love.

I’ve come to the insight that for almost two decades I’ve been capturing a particular cycle – one where I dig deep to find my true desires, work my ass off to achieve specified results, then sit down waiting for others to catch up with me.

Over

and over

and over again

This has been my pattern.

Oh I’ve let plenty of people go along the way.

Family members who played their role of crushing my spirit.

I thank you for the gifts in learning and release you.

Friends who played their role in stabbing me in the back.

I thank you for the gifts in learning and release you.

Those who taught me to always look within to find my joy.

Those who taught me to always trust my intuition.

Those who taught me that as long as I rely on myself and my Creator, I can achieve anything!

I thank you all for the gifts in learning and release you.

I am after all the lone wolf.

Yet there’s been those that I’ve always waited for, reluctant to go too far ahead just in case they don’t pull finger and catch up.

I’m releasing this cycle today.

For I’ve come to the realisation that this is not love – it is only fear.  And fear can be a destructive force my Darling.

By keeping myself back, I have kept everyone else from truly living their potential.

Of finding their ultimate happiness.

Why would they have to?

When they have me to keep the pace nice and easy for them.

It’s like riding with a strong cyclist and having them wait for you every few kilometres, giving you the opportunity to recover and then mosey along.

Except I didn’t choose to ride with those ‘nice’ people when I trained to race.

I chose to ride with the mean motherfuckers who showed me no mercy.

Who would ride at their pace.

Those who, when I blew my legs and fell behind, would wait at the top of the hill and as soon as I came close to them, would take off again.

Them now being fully rested and restless like the race horses they were.

Me ripping curse words in my head like a machine gun.

I didn’t like them much.

I fucking adored them!

They made me strong.

They trained me into a real competitor.

Physically.

Mentally.

It was always my choice.

At any moment I could have chosen to give up.

I could have chosen to go ride with the social bunch.

They looked like they were having fun.

They were chatting all the way,  laughter and smiles.

But they only did about half the distance.

They never felt the thrill of getting to the finish line completely smashed!

It’s just not their vibe.

But it sure as hell is mine.

And so I kept showing up to the mean bunch.

I kept riding out of my comfort zone.

I kept showing up for myself.

And like the magnificent beasts that they are, they kept leaving me behind.

Until one day they couldn’t.

Because I had risen to their level.

This is my promise to myself and those I adore.

Never again will I sit down and wait for anyone.

You have a choice.

You can up your game.

You can curse in your head and sweat and struggle and become stronger.

You can be one of my people.

Or

You can own the fact that I’m just not your tribe.

Not your vibe.

And go find your true happiness with those who do life socially.

Because I love you too much to keep you trapped in your gilded cage.

I am under no illusion that this will be an easy thing.

But it’s time for next level sacrifice for next level thrive.

That’s what my soul desires.

It’s what I came here to do.

I never came to this life to keep people comfortable in mediocrity.

I came here to inspire, to empower, to see the magnificence within each person and to speak to THAT part of them.

Not the victim.

Did you?

I doubt it very much my friend.

The truth is that as long as we abandon our magnificence in the name of ‘love’, we are not being loving at all.

Love is showing up as your best version self to inspire others to take a look in the mirror and find their truth.

Love is never keeping others stuck in codependency but to free them to find their power.

Love is liberation without judgement.

Not everyone loves the hustle.  Not everyone thrives in achieving epic goals.

That’s perfect.

But if that is your thrive, it’s selfish to hold yourself back in any way.

What are your patterns that have kept you safe in the shade?

The cycles that has you making minuscule improvements each year?

Are you even making progress?

What do you need to burn today?

Who do you need to empower with the choice of freedom?

By showing up as your best version self.

For ultimately it’s still their choice if they want to stay or leave.

It’s YOUR responsibility to love yourself and them enough to offer them the option.

It’s YOUR responsibility as the leader to create the culture of excellence.

In your business.

In your relationships.

In your life.

For death is inevitable.

Thriving is a hard choice my friend.

With love always,

Anel

PS:  I would never have reached this level of release had I not chosen love.

True love.

Deep love.

Love that has a deep desire for all of humanity to thrive.  In whatever form that takes for them.

This is the love I want you to experience.

Yet I’ve discovered that especially as women we have been indoctrinated to believe that love is putting ourselves below everyone else.  To form the stepping stones for others to go higher.  Which is a completely fucked up!

We create most when our cup is overflowing.

When we are luxuriating in our magnificence.

We create and empower when we adore the face in the mirror and show up as our best version self.

Which is why I’m starting a Self-Love Revolution in Wild Woman Rebels.

For the entire month of November I will be guiding you with journaling prompts, exercises and goddesses yoga to fall madly in-love with yourself.  To become the truly sensual, powerful goddess that you are in your core.

This revolution is free for women globally so join us today.