But what if I don’t want easy?

I adore my life.

I love the fact that I came out of the ‘perfection’ closet a long time ago and can now freely speak my mind knowing that nothing is set in stone.

I love the fact that as I stay open and curious I can question not only what everyone else says, but what I say as well.


But the one thing that seems constant for me at this point in time, is this whole idea of ‘it’s supposed to be easy‘.

This has really been magnified again lately by so many coaches belittling the hustle on social media.

Saying that we should stop working so hard.

That we’re all going to burn out if we keep up the insane pace.

That life and business should be easy.

That we never left corporate to work these crazy hours but to have more time with our kids.

Well actually, that’s not why I left corporate.

I left corporate because I don’t get the whole 9 to 5 mentality.

I left corporate because I am obsessed with my life purpose and don’t want a break from it.

I left corporate because I don’t thrive on easy.

Corporate is a walk in the park!

And if this is your truth, if it’s your vibe to do easy, I completely and utterly respect that.

If sitting by the pool and making millions through passive income is your idea of heaven, dive in!


I don’t believe that is my Utopia.

I can think of nothing worse!


I took some time out yesterday.  I watched an orca play in the ocean, toes dug into the sand whilst savouring a pepperoni pizza.

It was fucking awesome.

For about thirty minutes.


I’d had my fill.

I felt recharged.

I was ready to rock and roll.

If you really want to punish me, tell me I have to take it easy.

That it should be easy.

For people such as myself, the hustle is our fuel.

I don’t expect you to understand this if you’re not like me.

If you’re here to do easy then yes, you will fucking burn out if you try and keep up with me.

I don’t do easy.

I do achievement.

I thrive when I bite off more than I can chew and then have to work those muscles to the point of exhaustion and beyond.  Learning.  Growing.  Becoming stronger.

I love to take on new projects, learn new skills.

It’s hard as fuck.

I curse like a drunken sailor.

I scream in frustration.

I throw my hands up in the air.

Sometimes I cry a little.




I french-kiss the struggle that is always part of the learning with wild abandon and deep exhilaration.

Stop telling me it should be easy!

I enjoy the messy part in the middle when I almost figured it out but my body looks awkward and my movements are all jerky.

I soar when everything finally clicks into place and from the outside I make the hard shit look effortless.

Not that it is.

That’s where people have it wrong.

Just because a prima ballerina looks like she’s light as a feather doesn’t mean that her toenails aren’t being ripped to pieces in those beautiful silk block shoes.

She still hurts.

She still bleeds.

For YOUR entertainment.

For the art.

For the illusion of effortless.

That pretty ballerina that so many think a fragile little porcelain doll, is a goddamned warrior!

You have no idea.

And no, we didn’t all come here to be warriors.

Thank the awesomeness of peanut butter.

And I don’t want to make anyone wrong for wanting to live easy.  I’m just not talking to you today.


If you’re like me, and you DO thrive on the hustle, this is for you:




Stop surrounding yourself with the easy-goers because they have you hiding your brilliance in a bucket full of shame.

Not only are you disowning your magnificence, you are a fraud, and your betrayal of self will ultimately lead to mediocre existence and depression.

If you’re a born warrior, a hustler, a creative, an artist, you HAVE TO FUCKING CREATE.

Not doing so hurts way more than the journey of achievement ever will.

Look, maybe you just haven’t figured out the rhythm yet.

Maybe you are still buying into the illusion that there’s a point for us where it stops hurting.

Where you can ride a 100 kilometres and never sweat a drop or feel an ounce of muscular fatigue or pain.

That’s bullshit.

You always hurt.

You always get tired.

For as you become fitter, as you become stronger, you will always push harder.

That’s the nature of the beast.

And you my gorgeous friend, you’re all beast.

You’re built for this madness.

And the moment you embrace this as your truth, life becomes one awesome adventure!

You stop sitting in the coffee shops and you start playing with your tribe, sweating and laughing and challenging each other.

You stop making your competitive side wrong and you use it to your advantage, to continuously push yourself, grow yourself, living outside of your comfort zone.

You stop thinking your inner bitch is a bitch and you understand that she is your sister in arms.

You stop focusing on the bullshit others are feeding you in terms of how your life SHOULD be for you to be happy and you do whatever the fuck lights you up.

And I am willing to take a bet that what lights you up is doing your purpose work, is making your body excrete your power through your pores, is the struggle, the perseverance, the grit.

I simply can’t imagine how horrendously boring my life would be without it.

I don’t want to go on holiday all the time and relax.

I don’t want to sit on the couch all day and veg out.

I will rest when I’m dead.

I will stop hurting when I’m dead.

I will take it easy when I’m dead.

But whilst I’m alive, I choose to thrive!

And you?

With love eternal,


PS:  There’s a reason I don’t work with everyone.  Not everyone is my people.  If you want easy, truly desire easy, from inside, because it feels right, not because everyone else is telling you that you’re wrong for loving the hustle, I’m DEFINITELY not the right coach for you.  I love you but honestly we would hate working together.  There are tons of the right coaches out there for you and that is fabulous!  If however you thrive on the journey, on cresting the mountain, on biting off more than you can chew, you’re my people.  If you’re hungry for the next big goal and want to train your body the point where an indestructible mind-set is your normal, we can play.  Anel@anelbester.com.  You know what to do.






Why I don’t believe motivation alone will get you to the finish line.

Hey Gorgeous

My son asked me to write about motivation today.

His comment really hit home – “I see way too many people getting started because they’re all pumped and motivated and a day later they say screw it and give up”

This from the mouths of babes.

So I’m going to try (haha you know my opinion on trying) and keep my passion under a some level of containment, because honestly, this topic gets me roaring.

Society has put motivation on a pedestal as if that alone will get us across the finish line.

You just need to be motivated enough they tell you.

You just need to be stimulated enough they say.

And don’t stress, because when you run out of motivation, someone else can motivate you.

Horse shit.

What I see is people getting all excited when they witness someone else’s success which stimulates them to activate the acknowledgement of desire.

Yes, this is a good start.

Desire to be all, do all, have all they can possibly hold in this lifetime thereby potentially showing up as their best version self is an admirable and honourable admission.

There’s nothing wrong with getting inspired by someone else’s success and using that to awaken a dream.

This is after all how my IronMan journey started.  A mere YouTube video with climaxing music, tears, emotion, incredible life stories.

Yet motivation or inspiration will only ever be the spark that ignites the fire.

The rest is up to YOU.

You have to do the fucking work to dig into your heart and figure out what the true desire is.  How it’s connected to your purpose.  Why it is crucial to your very existence for you to achieve what you set out to achieve.

A step which most people couldn’t be bothered with.

Because that would actually take some real thought, time, introspection, a new level of honesty with yourself.

Honesty about how you’re currently NOT living to your true potential.

Honesty about your fears and why you are playing small.

Honesty about how your entire future will be impacted when you break this glass ceiling and achieve something that has your chest expanding with pride.

It means you take the time to understand that everything you do or fail to do has a massive impact on those around you.  Which means that playing small, hiding your talents, not creating, not thriving, makes you a selfish and inconsiderate bitch!

It also means that you get real with yourself.

You get real with what it takes to truly achieve your desired outcome.  You get real with the fact that you have no fucking clue right now how you’re going to achieve it, because if you knew you would have already done it.

You get real with the fact that it scares you and you will have to rise above your fear.

Your desire needs to be greater than your fear or you will cower at the first sign of obstacles.

And there WILL be obstacles Darling.

There always is.

That is what makes goal setting and achievement so powerful.

It’s never about what you achieve, it’s never about the cheap medal, it’s never about that red dress that hugs your newly revealed curves like a Ferrari cornering at 100 mph without ever losing traction, it’s not about the million dollars in your bank account.

It’s about the growth.

It’s about the person you become in the process.

The internal strength that you cultivate.  The grit.  The determination.  The creativity.  The resourcefulness.

The badass unleashed!

That doesn’t happen if you rely on motivation to get you to the finish line.

That doesn’t happen if you constantly look for ‘motivational quotes’, ‘inspirational videos’ to keep you going.

Motivation will only get you out of the starting blocks.

And if you say you don’t have time to do this foundational piece, and do it properly, I am going to ask you just how much fucking time have you wasted in your life by setting half-assed goals that you haven’t achieved?  How much time have you wasted by writing shit down because it looked good at the time and then never saw it through to the finish and instead of taking the time to figure out your self-defeating behaviour, you simply set the next half-assed goal?

How much time have you wasted by not getting the learning and instead just reaffirming that there’s something wrong with you.  That you’re just not as good as everyone else.  That you have a block.  That you’re broken.

Oh fuck all the bullshit.

You’re magnificent beyond your most erotic of dreams.

You have the power to create a planet inside of you.

You are whole and complete!

If you’re feeling blocked go eat some All-Bran Flakes and drink enough water to flush your system.

Stop looking for excuses.

Stop belittling yourself.

You want some motivation Darling?

Here it is.

Playing small does not make you someone of honour and humility.

It makes you someone of bullshit.

YOU can have anything you desire.

But you have to at least find the courage to figure out what you truly desire.

Not what everyone else has because you’re unique and so are your desires.

Stop scrolling for motivation.

Take all those hours you’re sitting on Facebook, Instagram, Netflix, YouTube, Playstation and journal!

Journal on your fears.

Journal on your life lessons thus far.

Journal on your true desires!

Drop the judgement and get the gold.

Not sure what your true desires are?

Well then journal on everything that you’ve experienced thus far which fills your mouth with vomit!

Because we’ve chosen to learn through experiencing opposites.

What’s the opposite?  Explore that.

Take the time to set goals.

Real goals.

Powerful goals.

Not fluffy airy-fairy bullshit.

The goals that scare you to death.

The goals that light you up.

The goals that you look at and wonder HOOOOOOOOOW?????

If you already know the how go back to the drawing board because you’re playing small.


Death before DNF.

Stop wasting your time with goals that stroke you ego.  Goals that look nice on other people.  Goals that you think will make you a good person.  Goals that you believe will make you look good to others.

Fuck everyone else.

They have their own lives to live.

Get into your own skin Gorgeous.

Get into your own business.

Stop comparing.  Stop looking at what everyone else is doing to see what you can copy.

You’re a creator for gods sake!


Take a stand for yourself.

Take a stand for your dreams.





That’s my four pillars for an indestructible mind-set.

All internal.

All from inside me.

I don’t give a shit if others believe in me or not.

I don’t put my dreams in the hands of others and ask them to motivate me to keep me going.

That’s not the way of the warrior.

Death is inevitable.

Thriving is a choice which doesn’t come for motivation alone.

With love eternal,


PS:  Are you ready to set the real goals?  To stop playing small?  To cultivate your indestructible mind-set? Are  you ready to unleash your badass?  Are you ready for a level of accountability such as you’ve never experienced before?  As the sun is setting on 2017 I’ve opened my private practice to those who are not ready to slow down, but who are hungry for more.  Those who know that just because the year is coming to an end doesn’t mean their impact is ready to be diminished.  Those who are ready to kick it into the next gear and achieve more than they’ve ever achieved before.  If that’s you, let’s connect.  Anel@anelbester.com. I look forward to awakening your warrior.



Just how close are you keeping the enemy?

Oh what an amazing experience we have chosen.

What a wonderful adventure.

Powerful souls disguised as helpless babies volunteering to forget we’ve co-created galaxies.

Because forgetting who you are and what you are capable of seemed like such a fun idea at the time.

Reminds me of entering my first IronMan.

When you press that button it’s all high fives and dancing.

Woohooo it’s gonna be FABULOUS!

And then the training starts.

It’s fucking horrendous to say the least.

The pain.

The injuries.

The exhaustion.

The pure frustration as you fix the umpteenth puncture after six hours on your bike in the blazing sun with a pumping headwind that will test the sense of humour of the best comedians, and you still have another hour to go.

You crawl into the house, fall onto the couch exclaiming “Fuck it!  This was such a stupid fucking idea.  I’m not doing it anymore.”

Because IronMan is not for sissies.

It’s not fun.

It’s not all giggles, gags and farts after all.

And this, my gorgeous friend, is where those you surround yourself with can make or break you.

If you have been super selective, a ruthless and selfish bitch letting go of anyone who think small, dream average, those who continuously shower you with sympathy, you have a good chance of pulling yourself together again and feeling the pride, the celebration, the sense of being invincible when you cross the finish line.


If you’ve been a good little girl and kept all the energy vampires close by your side, surrounded yourself with those weak and mediocre, those who will hold you and hush you and agree that maybe you bit off more than you can chew and there is no shame in giving up, you’re doomed Baby.

Might as well hang up those running shoes.

For even if you decided to continue AND still don’t let go of them, if your allegiance to the average masses is greater than your desire to achieve, you not only need to find the strength of accomplishing something that will challenge you more than you’ve ever dreamt possible, but you also have to find the strength to pull their lazy-ass dark energies around like an albatross pulling you down to misery.

Why do we do this to ourselves?

Why do we insist on keeping our enemies close?

Why do we sabotage ourselves by sharing our big dreams with little people AND then believing them when they say it can’t be done!

Why do we set the magnificent goals and then make it twice as hard by relying on small minded individuals to support us when quite frankly, they’re simply not capable at this point in time.

Don’t get me wrong, I honestly believe that every person has the ability to do whatever they put their mind to!  But they have to choose to do so.  And not a lot of people are doing that today.

Instead people seem to be on this slip-n-slide picking up speed to hit rock bottom.

It’s their choice.

I respect that.

I realised a long time ago that I didn’t come here to save every ass sliding down no matter how much they are kicking and screaming.

One too many times have I reached out only to have them turn around and bite me because in all honesty, their screams of terror is the closest thing they have to feeling alive at this stage!

Instead I’m now the bitch at the top of the hill.

The one who works with those who are already up here with me who desire to bring more change, to achieve more, to create more.

The one who will show the way for those who slid down and, who decide that they’ve had enough of the stench at the bottom and determined to get up off their knees and to fucking rise to the top!

Because they can.

I believe that with every cell in my body.

Anyone can find their courage.

Anyone can find their truth.

Anyone can light their passion.

As for the rest,

Not my purpose.

Not my people.

There are others here to serve and guide them.

Do I sound insensitive?


According to modern definition I’m not a nice girl.

Then again,

Nice got me suicidal.

Nice got me to be a mere shadow of myself.

Nice got me miserable and weak and bleugh.

Embrace the fact that you’re not here to be nice either!

You’re not here to save everyone who chose some crazy ass lessons that hurt like a mother.

And I know witnessing the descent hurts us as well.  For we have been down that dark tunnel.  We remember.

Yet who are we to save them from their learning?  Just like us, they have all it takes to turn their lives around if that is truly what they desire.

Honestly, not everyone wants to be at the top of the hill.

Not everyone wants to kick ass.

Not everyone wants to empower.

Some people only want to cower in fear, brining a cloud of darkness wherever they go.  That’s what they want to do.

Some people want to keep the status quo and they’ve learned a long time ago that when they take us head on, they fucking lose.

For we are unstoppable!  We fight for what we believe in.  We fight for our families.  We die for the cause.

We are warriors.

So instead those crafty little bastards have become ‘nice’.

I don’t trust ‘nice’ people.

They win you over with their sweet seductive words.

They soothe you into a false sense of support and love.

And then they work their dark magic, spreading their fear with their poison tongues, fucking you over.

And because you never suspect them, you trust them.  You start believing the siren that tells you it is good to drown.  To give up.  To release into their arms so they can pull you into the darkness.

Fuck ’em Darling.

If you’re serious about achieving your dreams, it’s time to get ruthless.

It’s time to get out the wooden stakes and eradicating all vampires from your space.

It’s time to make smarter employment decisions.

How well do you really screen your staff?

Do you even know their personal values?

Do they?

Are they aligned with your personal values, your company values?

What is their vision?

What do they stand for in life?

Or are you just putting bums in seats?

Which is cool if you’re just here to make money.


If you’re here to bring change, to create, to lead, this shit matters.

This is where you cannot afford one bad apple because she will poison your team, your clients, your dreams.

She will suffocate your goals.

Stop keeping your enemies close.

You know what they’re up to.

It doesn’t take a genius to know that people are either for you or against you.

And the more you focus on what the enemy is doing the less energy you have to focus on what you’re building.

Set yourself up for success.

Clean out your staff.

Clean out your friends.

Clean out your dream team.

You’re not going to get a noddy badge for not doing the work you came here to do because you decided to try and ‘save’ that one unhappy woman who quite frankly never wanted to feel joy.  Her misery was her joy.

Stop doing that.

Go back to the drawing board.

What do you truly desire?

What is your purpose?

Who are you here to serve?

Let go of the rest.

Be ruthless.

Who gives a shit what they say?

If people don’t understand, if they don’t get it, if they shun you, they weren’t your people to start with.

I see way too many entrepreneurs giving up on their dreams, downscaling their visions, because they’re housing the enemy.

Time to clean camp Darling.

For death is inevitable.

Thriving is a choice fewer will make than you can imagine.

Frankly, the only person’s choice you should be concerned with is your own.

With love eternal,


PS:  Flow is for the soul-full entrepreneur who desires to manifest their life purpose in business form.  It’s creating from within. It’s flowing through the energy system created by the Universe to support you, feed your soul, expand your energy.  I know that sounds really airy-fairy but if you know me at all, you know it kicks ass in a very real and physical way.  If you’re ready to explore a new way of building your business, I invite you to try module one free of charge.  If you don’t find immense value you simply keep module one and don’t continue with the course.  After all, if you truly want different results it’s time to do things differently.  Take the nibble here and let’s see if this tickles your tastebuds.


Art from wall.alphacoders.com

Are your words and your actions aligned?


I live in a world largely constructed by words.

A world in which everything I witness, caress, inhale is created by my thoughts, my written and spoken words.

It took me a while to remember this.

To remember my true creative abilities.

To remember truth.

For most of the first half of my life I depended largely on action to get results.

And I got some pretty impressive results.

I worked my ass off.

I trained myself into the ground and then got up and took another step.

Because I can.

Because I’m a warrior.




I don’t regret an ounce of sweat.

I will cry another ocean.

It’s part of my training and my chosen mission in becoming  the woman I came here to be.

Clearly I didn’t come to be a pretty princess.

And I am beyond grateful for this because all around me I see shit tons of lazy motherfuckers.

People bitching and moaning all the time about how hard it is.

About how they want to be skinny billionaires lying by the pool sipping champagne in their crystal flutes.

Who want to get all the results they desire by making vision boards and chanting whilst visualising their results into reality without moving a pinky finger.

And I’m sure in another time-space dimension this is possible.

But not in this one Darling.

We didn’t come here to create through mind and soul exclusively.

We chose this dimension because we wanted to experience the thrill of our physical bodies.

Of creating miracles through the activation of mind, body and soul.

It’s a unit.

And until you get this, really get this, you are missing a piece of your magnificence.

What does this look like in real life?

It means having the ovaries to dream really big and believing you can achieve it.

It means holding the vision and using creative tools to keep laser focussed on your desired outcome.

It means calling on the forces of good to lend you their creative energy thereby multiplying your abilities.

It means taking the aligned action that is required in this life to bring your vision to fruition.

Mind-set, Magic, Movement.

Now I will agree with you that most everyone gets some level of results in their lives.

I did even though I only used two-thirds of the equation for many years.

I’m thrilled that the Universe is merciful enough to gift us that.

But that’s not who I am speaking to today.

I’m not speaking to those who settle for two-thirds.

I’m not speaking to those who just want to have enough.

Because in my world just having enough is selfish!

It means that I don’t give a shit about anyone else for whenever I create just enough I only create for myself.  When I create MORE I create for everyone.

Note that I’m saying create, not consume!

It’s when we only consume the existing resources that we’re screwing over humanity.

But you’re not here to consume my Darling.  

Not if you’re reading this.

You’re here to be a powerful creator of iconic measure.

You came here with a hunger to bring change, to make an impact, to take what is cracked and break that motherfucker open to the core so you can rebuild the foundation.

You came here because your love of humanity is all-consuming.

You came here because the screams of Gaia is ripping through your skull like Edward Scissorhands on steroids.

You came here because the world is burning and you know that it’s not too late.  That new choices can still be made.  That millions of lightworkers have descended to heal, to create, to love.

And yes, it’s a pity that those around you don’t get it.

Because they are so wrapped in themselves, their personal survival, their insecurities, their pain, their hell of mediocre existence, they simply cannot comprehend that some of us are here purely for the greater good.

It’s their journey.

Let’s not judge it but have compassion and then continue to create.

Even for the bastards who throw rocks at us.

This is what we signed up for.

But for us to create the change we came here for, we have to start getting our shit together.

All of our shit.

That means mind, body and soul.

That means you need to start doing the mindset work every single day.

The affirmations.

The creative writing of your reality.

The mirror work.

The healing work for we agreed to some seriously painful lessons and until we are prepared to find the lessons, to forgive and release, to become whole, we are doing more damage than good to ourselves and everyone else.

It means you need to start doing the soul work every single day.

I don’t really care what you believe in or who you believe in or what your spiritual practice looks like, but I can tell you from personal experience and working with hundreds of high achievers that those who have a daily practice connecting them with their higher power not only create astounding results, but they tend to be fucking happy.

And in my books there is no true success without happiness.

It also means you need to start doing the body work every single day.

Your body is not just a mannequin to hang pretty clothes on.

She is the key to your power!

She houses your energy body.

She is designed to perfection.  Everything you learn in your mind, can be learned ten times faster with your body!  It’s fucking astounding when you truly GET this.

She is your energy source and the greater her endurance, the more energy you have to accomplish all you desire and doing it day after day after day.

Stop neglecting your body!

Every time you choose to sleep in, every time you choose KFC, every day that you let go by without training, is you giving in to the fear of your true abilities and sabotaging your next level of success.

I’m done with people who say they want to be successful but who continue to screw themselves over with their destructive habits and behaviours as if they are helpless little victims.

There are no fucking victims.






Cry if you have to.

Break if you have to.

Bleed if you have to.

Do whatever the hell you need to do to rid yourself of the hardened shell of bullshit you have encased yourself in so that you can remember what you came here to do.

Stop being so lazy.

Get Up!

Get Up!

Get UP!

Rise to your truth and do the work you came here to do.

You have everything you need inside of you.


But until you believe this, you will sit in that heap and feel sorry-ass for yourself.

Every warrior gets tired Sweetheart.

I cry.

I bleed.

I scream in anguish and lie on the floor because I just don’t know how the hell I’m going to keep going.

But then I release to Creator.

And I fall into my exhausted sleep, spent from my grief.

When I wake up.

I fucking rise.

I will never give up.

I will never fail.

I came here to succeed and that is my only option.

Change your options.

Take the possibility of failure off the table.

Burn your fucking boats.

And be the magnificent badass you came here to be.


Align your words with your actions and you will receive all you desire and more.

For death is inevitable.

Thriving is a choice.

With love eternal,


PS:  Is the fire of passion and desire burning in your belly but you just can’t see the next step?  Do you know in your heart of hearts that you are meant for greatness but for some reason all you see is average results?  Are you at breaking point and you’re ready to crack that mother open and unleash your brilliance?  Then it’s time for us to connect Sweetheart.  I work with born leaders, change bringers, creatives, healers and achievers who desire iconic results and who are prepared to do the work, the real work, the courageous work, because the desire is greater than the fear.  And make no mistake, there is always fear.  Don’t let the illusion of fearlessness keep you from living the life you came here to live.  I guess all you need to ask yourself is which beast are you going to feed today?  Your dream or your fear?  anel@anelbester.com – you know what to do.


Do you judge the brightness of the sun by the reflection of the moon?

I adore the moon.

I love her sensuality.

I love her continuous flow from dark to full to dark again.

In truth I’m a little obsessed with her at the moment as I dive deeper into learning her secrets and manifestation powers which is readily available to us all, even though most of us have forgotten.  But more on that later.

Today I was reminded of the fact that our earthly experience of the moon is largely based on her position to the sun and the reflection of the light we get to see.

Our experience of the moon as a reflection of the light of the sun.

Breathe this in for a moment.

In truth, this reflection is never an accurate depiction of the power, the brilliance, the brightness of the sun!

The sun remains perfect, whole and complete regardless of the moon’s position or the story she tells us.

Quite frankly, I don’t think the sun gives a shit.

The sun just continues to shine radiantly and is happy to observe his perfect reflection on the moon with wonder and fascination.

“Oh look, the moon is in her shadow side tonight and not reflecting anything of me.  I’m just going to enjoy the darker shade of black knowing that she’ll turn in a few days and brighten up the starry skies again.”

“Oh wow, the moon is in her full glorious illumination tonight.  How gorgeous.  I’m just going to enjoy the view for the next couple of nights knowing her dark side will come back again.”

No boys, this doesn’t mean you get to go all hoyty toyty and point a finger at ‘moody’ women.

This is for all of us.

I believe that the moon-sun relationship is a perfect illustration for humanity.

Firstly, we as people, are ever changing.  We are evolving.  We are emotional as fuck (okay, some of us a little more expressive than others due to a lack of narcotics flowing through our bloodstreams).  Some days we are high, some years we are low.  Nothing is static.  No-one is completely predictable.  We all have a shadow side.  We all have the two wolves – yin and yang Baby.

Just make peace with it and enjoy the ride.

Secondly, and this is probably more my point today, we live in a world where we base a large percentage of our perception of self on the feedback that we receive from others.  Personally, I’m starting to question the wisdom in this.

Possibly hundreds of years ago, when there were fewer fucked-up psychopaths running around, this was a good system that served us well.

But with love and compassion, nowadays I’m seeing a minuscule percentage of ‘healthy’ and ‘well-functioning’ individuals who I honestly trust to reflect me back to me.

Shit, I wouldn’t even trust myself to give me feedback every day!  After all, I’m human too, I’m emotional too (you might have noticed by now) and I know that how I see myself in the mirror is largely based on what is going on internally.  My chosen path of personal growth is rife with learning and those trigger me all the time ranging from exhilaration to rage to a shade of darkness that intimidates Satan himself and everything in-between.

What I see with my human eyes is never a pure and 100% accurate reflection of who I am at my core.

So why is it that we so readily base our evaluation of self, our worth, our deserving, our right to thrive, on the perceptions and feedback from others?

Others who half the time are so fucking miserable in themselves that they do everything in their power to dull their pain of mediocre existence through escapism in whatever flavour their poison of choice.

At times these are people whom we love and adore, those we trust with our lives.  To the point of valuing their opinion more than our own.  Forgetting that no matter how much we might think of them, they’re still human AF!

At other times, and in thinking about this it’s ridiculous, we’ve never even met the retards!  Yet when they post a faceless comment on social media, telling us we’re worthless, ugly, undeserving of love, we take this on board as if there is any measure of truth in it!

Worse, we stop fucking shining because of their bullshit.

Am I the only one thinking this is a teeny weeny little bit fucked up?

Today I’ve been reminded to pause and to consider taking a god’s eye view on this matter.

Liberating and uncomfortable as it may be.

I invite you to do the same.

I invite you to take a step back and to consider that the feedback you’re constantly receiving from others says way more about where they currently find themselves on their personal journey of self-discovery, self-love, wholeness or lack thereof, than what it says about you.

On the flip side

I invite you to compassionately understand that how you experience others says way more about your current journey of self-discovery, self-love, wholeness or lack thereof, than what it says about them.

Yes, I know, he’s still a dick but just or a moment be courageous enough to get vulnerable here.

It’s when we move into this space of complete ownership and responsibility for ALL of our relationships, for ALL our personal power, that we are able to choose.

Do we want to continue basing our perception of self on the reflection of others, believing that we are fucked up, dark, imperfect, bad,


Do we want to turn our attention inwards and shine our light brightly with so much love and passion and compassion and enjoy the reflections from others knowing that they are on their own path and like the sun, stop judging the moon?

I confess, it’s a choice which I have to consciously recommit to daily.

Especially when I’ve had a particularly challenging day and my ego tells me how everyone else is wrong and I’m right for me to feel okay about myself.

I put it to you that maybe it’s time we obsess a little less about everyone else, and start focusing a little more on ourselves.

That instead of wanting to be pleasing and acceptable to everyone else, we start romancing ourselves and adore the face reflected in the mirror.

Rather than exhausting ourselves in trying to fix everyone else, we spend our time in healing ourselves.

Let’s all start being selfish!

And through this selfish rediscovery of our magnificence, we will bring a new radiant light to humanity.

This entire life thing is just an illusion.  A story I’m telling myself.  And of course I get to decide who is the villain and who is the hero.  After all, I hold the pen, I have the power.

However when we start waking the fuck up, the responsibility of that power becomes immense.

That’s probably why so few people really want to do it.

Why only a third of people are willing to wake up.

It takes balls my friend.

It takes titanium balls and then some.

Or ovaries if you want me to be politically correct.

I’ve made the choice to be more curious about myself.  About my journey.  To stop looking at everyone else for the answers of who I am!

I’ve made the choice to get still.  To go within.  To remember the wisdom.

Believe me when I tell you that this is probably the scariest thing I’ve ever done.

Trusting myself.

Then again, what the fuck do I have to loose?

I’m going to die anyway.

That’s inevitable.

Might as well choose to thrive until then.

How about you Darling?

With love eternal,


PS:   The gift of awakening, of setting mind-blowing goals and then unleashing the brilliance within to achieve, is what I bring to my clients.  It is a journey filled with fear, frustrations, grit, faith and ass kicking.  It’s a roller coaster ride where you’re able to go higher, feel deeper and thrive because you know I have your back.  Because no matter how many times you sit on your ass I will have you getting back up.  Because I believe in you.  Because my talent is my soul view of you.  Are you ready to face the reflection of your magnificence my friend?  Do you have the balls?  Then let’s connect.  Anel@anelbester.com


Just in case tomorrow doesn’t come…

Hey Beautiful

It’s the eve of my birthday.

I’m feeling a little pensive.

A little sad.

A tad emotional.

As I look back on my life I see forty five years filled with some of the most exquisite life lessons and experiences.

Lessons in love.

Lessons in courage.

Lessons in belief in self.

Lessons in forgiveness.

Lessons in awakening, questioning, wisdom.

Lessons in healing.

Lessons in remembering.

Some of these lessons were learned through exciting, joyful relationships and experiences.

Most of them weren’t.

I guess that is where the sadness comes from.  The realisation that I truly did intend to learn my lessons through pain and heartache.  Through a maze of choices which at any turn could have me sitting somewhere else today.

Yet here I am, in my beautiful home in New Zealand watching the sun creep up over the ocean highlighting the deep purple of the lavender bushes outside my door.

How blessed am I?

How blessed indeed.

So I’m not sure why the sadness.  Probably because I know that I’ve reached another chapter in my life.  There’s great changes happening in my world right now which is exciting and scary and exhilarating and terrifying.

Let’s be honest here, change is never easy – no matter how positive it is.

Change always involves loss of some form.

Relationships that are ending.

People whom I love leaving my life once again.

People who I honestly thought would be with me for a lifetime.

But what if this is my lifetime?

What if tomorrow doesn’t come?

Would I have shared with you that which I already know – knowing that if more is to come I will have more to share?

I’m not sure.

Which is why I wanted to write this piece for you today.

Just in case tomorrow doesn’t come.

These are some of the truths that I have learned in my lifetime.

To share all would take a few books.

I want you to know that you are enough.  You truly are.  I wish I could take my vision and gift it to you.  Oh, not my human eyes which requires thick spectacles just to see the letters on the screen.  But my soul eyes with which I view my family, my friends, my clients, every person that I have the privilege of meeting.  For with my soul eyes I see your perfection, your greatness, your brilliance even if your human creations are presenting you with challenges that has you doubt yourself on a continuous basis.  You have everything you need right inside of you Darling.  Believe in yourself.  You are enough.

I want you to know that you are very loved.  You are loveable.  You are love.

I want you to know that in order for you to experience that love, true love, you have to start loving yourself.  There is no greater love than this.  There is no purer love than this.  We are taught that loving ourselves is wrong – that we’re full of ourselves if we adore the face in the mirror.  Even without the make-up.  Before we straighten our hair. Just as we are, all wrinkly and pillow squashed when we wake up in the morning.  It is when we are able to connect with the love inside of ourselves, that we are able to start healing, that we are able to start shining and bringing our best version selves to the world.  There truly is no greater love than this.

I want you to know that there is a power within you that is unlocked through the scared trilogy of body, mind and spirit.  You were designed with this exquisite key which activates your creative abilities and unless you use all three in harmony, you are in fact NOT achieving your true potential.  See why I’m so passionate about people moving?  I am yet to meet a person who doesn’t increase their results when they incorporate all three elements into their daily lives.  No matter how successful that person.

I want you to know that you are not the sum of your past experiences and relationships.  Stop defining yourself by what’s happened.  Everything, every last relationship, every fuck-up, every hurt, has been an opportunity to learn and grow.  Stop hating the past.  Stop blaming the past.  Get curious.  Get loving.  Forgive.  Learn.  Let go!  Look at your body for the way, you put stuff into your mouth.  Some of it is good, some of it is shit.  It goes through your system and your miracle of a body takes out of it what it needs and excretes the rest.  Keep the good and let go of the shit!

I want you to know that your desires are all good!  All of them.  They are your desires for a reason.  And as long as you suppress your desires, as long as you shame your desires, as long as you fear your desires, you are committing soulful suicide.  You see Darling, we are all here for a powerful purpose.  And those desires are always in support of your purpose.  Even if it doesn’t make sense to you on a logical basis.  I’ve seen women thrive after buying that ridiculous dress because it elevated their sensual creative energy to magical heights, it was an essential piece to the puzzle of thrive!

I want you to know that it’s not your responsibility to save anyone else.  Seriously.  None of us are created stronger or better than others.  All of us are equal.  All of us have free will.  All of us.  Every time we ‘save’ someone we are in fact keeping them in struggle for they never get to work their bad-AF muscle which is needed for them to unlock their internal power and wisdom.  Save yourself.  Heal yourself.  Then share your journey with others so they may take what they will from your story.  That’s right, stop being a saviour and become a story teller!

I want you to know that you are perfect, whole and complete.  Right here.  Right now.  You don’t need to add or detract anything!  You don’t need to go find yourself.  You don’t need to drop a dress size.  YOU’RE FUCKING PERFECT!  The moment you embrace this truth, you will smash the mirror of illusion and return to your physical state of perfection.  It just happens.  Yet as long as you focus on your ‘imperfection’ you create more of that.  Bullshit.

That’s it.

That’s all I want to share with you today.

Oh wait, and stop existing FFS!  Stop waiting for shit to happen to be happy.  Choose happy NOW.  Play hooky and go do something that lights you up.  Go do something crazy.  Go have fun!  Grow down.

Why wait?

For what?

For when?

Death is inevitable after all.

Thriving is a choice.

With love eternal – even from the other side,


PS:  I would love to hear from you.  After all it’s my birthday tomorrow and honestly I can think of no better gift than to hear from you.  What you are up to.  What you are creating.  What you are learning.  Even if we have never spoken before!  Drop me a mail at anel@anelbester.com and let’s celebrate all of ourselves, our lives, our lessons, our perfection.  Why the hell not?

There’s no fine in thrive

Isn’t it a little disgusting how we’ve been socialised to conform in the desperate yearning for acceptance?

Isn’t it a little absurd how the culture of mediocrity has managed to take our most powerful tools and turned them into tools of enslaving us in average?

Tools such as goals.

Tools such as emotions.

Tools such as words.

We’re taught to think less for ourselves by a schooling system that only awards those who are prepared to stop questioning and regurgitate what they’re being told.

We’re taught to use fewer words – shit, I can hardly read mosts texts with all the LOLs and ROTFLMAO and others I haven’t figured out yet.

We’re taught to feel less replacing our expression of emotions with emoticons.

And we’re taught to always be FINE.

I’m fine.

What the fuck does fine even mean?

From personal experience I’ve used the word fine whenever life was feeling really shit but I was too scared, too filled up with shame, too chickenshit to be honest and open and real.

So I would be fine.

Especially when people asked me how I was when I could see that they’re not even consciously asking.

It’s just what we ask right?

‘Hi, this is John from ABC insurance company calling, how are you today?’

‘Thanks so much for asking John.  Actually I’m in a really dark space in my life right now.  My two year old has been shitting all over the floor with his diarrhoea, my husband is screwing his secretary, the cat got run over, I have bills lying on the kitchen counter that is long overdue, my ass seems to have disappeared under an ocean of fat, my hair is going grey even down there, and I’m not sure how to pull out of my funk.’



So instead we’ve learned to say ‘I’m fine’.

Another breakdown in powerful conversations.

Meaningful conversations.

Real conversations.

In fact we are taught to lie from a young age.

As kids, when we are honest about how we feel we get told nobody really cares.  That they didn’t really want to know.  That we should just be fine.

We’re creating a culture of ‘fine’ horse shit.

We’re creating a culture of people disowning their true emotions, swallowing it down like old vomit that has nowhere to go.  It burned coming up, it’s vile going down.

And it festers.

It destroys.

It’s eating our insides.

Like gangrenous cancer it’s rotting us whilst we are alive.

Because we’re not thriving.

Instead atrophy is setting in and we’re not even aware of it because we’re too busy telling ourselves and everyone else we’re fine.

Fuck fine.

In fact, I honestly feel that it’s time we redefine curse words!

I feel that everyone must be free to say fuck.

I feel that should be encouraged from a young age.

It expresses massive emotion.

Why is that a bad thing?

I feel that instead we should banish the words try, can’t, fine.

Rip those destructive little bastards out of your vocabulary and tell me your life and your results don’t skyrocket!

I dare you.

Seriously, try it for 30 days and check in with me.

All of these words are disconnecting you from your truth, your power, your capabilities, your emotions.

And yes, your emotions are one of your most powerful tools Darling.

It’s the barometer of your life showing you if you’re making the choices that has your vibration elevated and thriving, or if there is something out of alignment, an opportunity to learn a valuable lesson that will enhance your life, an ending that requires mourning and release.

None of that is described by fine.

Let’s stop fining each other.

Especially not you!

You are here to lead.

You’re here to bring change, to inspire through your personal thrive, to create, to heal.

Fine is simply not going to cut it.

Fine is the cowardly answer.

Be courageous and dig into your extensive vocabulary to find the words that truly describe the chaos or levels of massive thrive that is going on inside of you.

Not sure?

Go Google for heaven’s sake.

Go Google emotions and see the hundreds of words that are available to describe your true state.

And then use them.

On everone.

Even the insurance salesman.

Stop asking people how they are unless you truly give a damn.  Unless you truly are prepared to be there for them for the next hour or two if needed so they can find the words that describes whilst you listen.

Let’s stop with social chit chat bullshit.

I honestly just don’t have tolerance for that anymore.

My breaths have been predetermined for this lifetime and I’m determined to make each and every one count.

How about you Darling?

Are you going to make your words count understanding how truly powerful they are, or are you going to waste them along with your breath for social pleasantries.

Fine equals existence.

Existence equals torture.

Tortured equals spiritual suicide.

Suicide equals death.

I swear to chilli peanut butter than death is not half as bad as existence.

Been there.

Done that.

Burned that motherfucking t-shirt.

You can choose to thrive.


Right now.

And it starts with getting real with where you are.

Getting real means you have to do much better than fine.

It means getting out the thesaurus and going deeper until you find that word that feels like a massive click inside.

When you name it, you claim that bitch and you can start healing.

You can start making different choices.

You can start thriving.


Life is too short for us to settle.

It’s just too short to feel fine.

With love eternal,



PS:  Frustrated with a business that’s described as fine?  Done with settling for a business that attracts fine results. Then it’s about time you get into a state of true Flow.  This journey is for the entrepreneur who desires a purpose aligned business that manifests epic results leaving them excited, energised, passionate, thriving.  Dealing with everything from breaking the bonds of collective consciousness to loving yourself, manifesting through the flow of your chakra system, releasing deeply held emotions through yoga, this is not a course for those who desire to do the superficial work which only feeds the academic brain.  You will be challenged – by moi, by yourself, by your fellow participants.  That’s what it’s all about – having powerful conversations that invite massive personal growth and transformation.  Get the details here and let’s rid you of the block preventing the flow of abundance in your business, your body and your life.


Is this how you want to be remembered?

I still get chills.

Every time I hear it.

All I want to do is trade this life for something new

Each time I get taken back to that Thursday night at Virgin Active Randburg.

We were riding.

We were sweating.

Some of us were cursing, using whatever we had to just to get to the end of the song without giving up.

I dedicated this song, this ride, to the incredible Burry Stander and every cyclist who had died on the roads of South Africa whilst practicing their passion.

As the chorus raged to climax, we stood on the peddles and we fucking left nothing in the tanks.

Were you there?

Do you remember?

I listen to this often to remind myself how truly short our opportunity to make an impression.

To do our true work.

To be remembered.

Because life goes on.

No matter who you were.

People carry on with their day to day and they forget you.

Which means if you’re serious about making a difference in this world, you have no more time to waste my Darling.

Oh yes you can play it safe.

You can hide.

You can give me all the bullshit excuses in the world.

But are you going to be remembered for 30 days for the timid, scared, plain little mouse who wiped everyone’s asses


Are you going to be remembered for 30 years for the passionate, raging, sometimes crazy bitch who didn’t give a rats ass about the opinions of the mediocre masses and who was prepared to fucking bleed for her purpose?

To leave it all hanging out – warts and all.

How do you want to be remembered?

Because you have to show up as that person.

Right now.

Right here.

All the time.

I believe our days are our lives in miniature.

Each day defines my life.

Each moment is my opportunity to make an energetic imprint on the collective.

Each time I meet a new person I get to show up and leave them with a memory.

Do I make it memorable?

Or do I make it likeable?

I don’t know about you but I’m so over the ‘like’ illusion.

I really don’t have time for you to like me anymore.

I really don’t.

I’m going to fucking die.

I don’t know when and I don’t want to take tomorrow for granted anymore.

So if my being in your face and triggering the shit out of you has you remember the moment, then so be it.

I am owning the fact that I’m here to bring change in the most uncomfortable of ways and that includes pissing people off.

You know what,

when that spinning studio rose out of their seats they didn’t do it because they liked me.

In fact, most of them probably didn’t come to my classes because they liked me.

They came because I challenged them to stop fucking around on their bikes, stop wasting their time with mindless hamster spinning, and to work their greatness muscles.

They rose because for 3 minutes and 52 seconds they got out of their egos, they collective brought their energy in honour of humanity, and they shone like the amazing powerful unlimited souls that they are.


But is that how you’re showing up?

Or are you showing up as the fear filled little human thinking that the worst thing that could possibly happen to you is that someone could criticise you and hurt your feelings?

Are you showing up as the precious princess who don’t want to fall on her knees and get a boo-boo because heaven forbid it should leave an ugly scar?

Are you showing up as the lifeless zombie waiting for you body to die because you don’t have the goddamned guts to stop your shit, to do the work, and to do the incredible purpose that YOU came here to do?


Think about what you’re doing today.

Think about what you’re doing right now in this moment.

If you had to die right now, is this how you want to be remembered?

How would your family remember you?

As the exhausted, washed out ghost of a person who went to the office all day and then came how collapsing on the couch?

Is that how you want them to remember you?

How would your friends remember you?

As the happy drunk who just wanted to keep the status quo?

Is that how you want them to remember you?

How long would all those Facebook friends remember you?

Will they even notice that you’re not posting anymore?

Or would it take them months to notice that they’re feeling better and make the connection it’s because you’re not posting all your drama anymore?

How do you want to be remembered?

After a powerful conversation with a friend this morning I’m throwing away all my business cards.

In the bin bitches.


Because I’ve made the decision that if we meet and you need a business card to remember my name, I’m not doing my purpose work.  I’m not showing the fuck up for you and quite frankly I don’t deserve you to remember me.

Thanks Suzanne.

How about you?

Are you willing to step up and make an impression?

Are you willing to stop dulling your bright and become memorable?

Are you willing to divide the camps into lovers and haters and use the energy from both camps to fuel your passion even more?

I challenge you right here, right now, to look at your state.

Your clothes.

Your hair.

Your body posture.

Your energy.

Your daily activities.

Your daily conversations.

Are they what you want to be remembered for?

If they are, fucking awesome!!!  Send me a mail because I want to follow YOUR work.  I want to know YOU.  I want to be inspired by YOU.

And if they’re not you can choose differently.

Right here.

Right now.


Fuck tomorrow.

What if tomorrow never comes?

Sit your ass down right now, take out your journal and your pen and let’s get to work.

First – write down what you see reflected in your life right now.  Taking an outside view, how do you know you will be remembered and how does that make you feel?  Why does it hurt like a mother?  Where in your body is it hitting you?

Second – Forgive yourself.  Completely and wholly.  Yes, it sucks but honour your journey and thank the Universe that you got to this point of awakening today.  Forgive yourself for all the hurt you’ve causes in yourself and others, whether consciously or unconsciously.  Forgive yourself for attracting the asinine teachers who did a stellar job in providing the lessons you’ve requested in this lifetime.

Let that shit go!

Third – Write down how you want to be remembered.  By your family.  By your friends.  By your clients.  By the world.  By every stranger whom you might only ever meet once for five minutes.  How do you want to be remembered.

Fourth – Write down how the new version you shows up.  How does she speak?  How does she think?  How does she feel?  How does she dress?  What does she write?  What does she post on social media?  What does she eat?  How does she orgasm?

All of it.

Commit to being her.

Find an accountability partner who will kick your ass when you stray from her.

Be her.


It’s all a choice.

You are not your past.

You are not your current behaviour.




How do you want to be remembered?

Death is inevitable.

Thriving is a choice.

With love eternal,


PS:  Language is powerful.  It is through our words that we create.  Yet I find most people are still not conscious of the reality that they are speaking into physical form.  This is where coaching transforms, brings change, creates power.  It’s through powerful conversations that we align with our truth and create our iconic.  Are you in a period of transition?  Where you’re just done with the current state of affairs in your life, your business, your fitness, your spiritual energy? Are you ready to do the work?  Whatever it takes?  Because failure and mediocrity is simply no longer an option you are willing to tolerate in your life?  If you’re ready then I invite you to connect with me today on a call to reveal the possibilities waiting for you.  Hit me a mail at anel@anelbester.com or click here for direct access to my calendar.  Live like there is no tomorrow!


PPS:  Photo of Burry Stander by Craig Kolesky

The truth of you

I’m going to keep this to the point.

You might disagree with me.

You might tell me to go fly a kite.

You might unfollow me.

As long as I trigger that ugly AF ego of yours, I’ve achieved my aim.

Here’s why:

I see people hurting.


I see people walking around miserable.




Out of breath from tying their shoes.

I see people putting on fake smiles – the walking dead existing from day to day.

I see people taking all their hurt and fear and unquestioned childhood indoctrination and screwing up the next generation by passing on their truckloads of rubbish because they are too dumb-ass lazy to start thinking for themselves, questioning what they know, releasing the past and moving forward.

I see people sitting in heaps of misery, wrists bleeding disinterest into the soil.


What will it take for each and every person to wake up, stand up, and take full responsibility for their lives thereby releasing themselves from this absurd destructive pattern of oppression?

What will it take for the leaders to stop following and to start making a new path of their own – inspiring others to follow them because their passion is ridiculously contagious?

What will it take for the creators to stop imitating?  To stop consuming and regurgitating?  To start bringing to life their unique gifts and talents in a way that raises eyebrows?

What will it take for the healers to stop saving everyone else and instead lovingly healing themselves thereby bringing light to a time of darkness?

What will it take for you to say to hell with mediocrity, exhaustion, frustration, defeat and to start doing the work that you came here to do?  To start showing up as your best version self?  To thrive and be fucking happy?

2017 has been a ripper for all of us.

All that has been hidden for decades within the darkest parts of our subconscious has surfaced like floating turds refusing to flush down the toilet.

We’re being called to deal with the issues we’ve not dealt with before.

We’re being given the opportunity to release that which no longer serves us so we can move forward without all the baggage.

It’s been hurting like a mofo – bandaids being ripped off to reveal the puss festering below.

It’s been nasty and at times ugly.

People have been revealing their true colours and relationships have ended.

We’ve been gifted the opportunity to finally deal so we can find the truth of who we are.

We are love.

We are light.

We are perfect, whole and complete in this moment.

Right here.

Right now.


Do you get that my friend?

Really get it?

Everything else is an illusion that you’ve created through the stories you keep telling yourself.

Because you’ve been so consumed with what is going on with everyone else that you’ve not taken the time to see the truth which is you.

Or maybe you’ve told yourself everyone is nasty destructive assholes so instead you escape into Lala land somewhere in cyberspace.

Whatever your poison – I implore you to put it down and walk away from the lies.

Stop feeling sorry for yourself.

Everyone has gone through challenges this year.

Nobody has been spared.

Because the Universe knows we can take it.

The Universe knows that we’re all powerful, all magnificent.

So deal and get your ass up.

Stop licking your wounds.

The blood will congeal and stop running.

Stop whining like an old hag.

Nobody gives a shit.


They have their own internal demon voices to deal with.  They don’t need you to add to the cacophony of misery.

Stop sabotaging yourself – do that which you are resisting the most and you will receive the rewards you say you desire.

Nothing changes unless you change.

Nothing changes unless you sing a different tune.


I was reading Louise Hay yesterday and she had this beautiful illustration of the truth –  you create your future with your language.  That which you say out loud or silently to yourself.  Think of your words as a buffet laid out before you.  Understand that whatever you choose to dish up is what you will eat tomorrow.

Do you really want to eat more shit tomorrow?


Or is it time for you to clean up your act?  Clean up your language?  Dust off your ass, pull back those shoulders and march forward as the badass warrior I know you to be?

As I look at the photos on my phone capturing moments of 2017 I’m filled with joy and gratitude.  I simply can’t believe how amazing my life is.  I am blessed beyond measure.

This doesn’t mean my life is free from challenge.

Then again I didn’t come here to be a princess.

I came here to lead.  To heal. To change.  To create.  To bleed.

I choose to go into battle every day.

It is my place of thrive.

I heal through my pain.

I create through my pain.

I embrace my pain.

I am NEVER defeated.

And let me tell you that if a middle aged old lady born in Africa can thrive, so can you!

I am no better than you.

I have nothing different from you.

We are the same.

You and me.

Mirror images.

So where are you emotionally today?

Are you feeling down or are you feeling on fire?

Will you choose to stay on the couch or will you choose to get the fuck up and go kick a hornets’ nest?

Will you choose to hide from the big bad world or will you choose to put on your amor, take up your passion and make a difference?

Even if that difference is just in your language today – eradicating ‘Try’, eliminating ‘Can’t’, obliterating ‘Sorry’.

Even if that difference is just you finding the courage to go stand in front of the mirror and look into your own eyes until you find something to love, something to admire, something to be proud of.

What will you do today?

Heaven knows that death is already inevitable Darling.

But will you choose to thrive today?

With love eternal,


PS:  2017 is not over.  In fact even if it was, time is continuous.  Stop slowing down!  Stop waiting for next year to bring change.  Stop waiting for January to set your next resolutions.  And if that is exactly what you’re planning on doing, please do unfollow me.  Life is NOW.  Thrive is NOW.  And I work with action-takers.  Those who use the passion ignited in an instant to commit to the courageous outcomes they have no idea how to achieve.  Those who desire iconic lives of purpose aligned success.  Those who understand that it’s all connected and who seek a holistic approach to thrive.  I work with the born leaders, change bringers, healers, creatives, achievers who take complete ownership and do the work to show up as their best version self.  Because they know they deserve it.  If I’ve just described you, the real you, the you on the inside, even if your external self is a tad lost right now, then it’s about time that we connect.  What are you waiting for Gorgeous?  Thrive now.

But what about the people??

I’m a little stumped.

I’m a little sad.

I’m really pissed!

Last night I was invited to a local event for entrepreneurs around business continuity after natural disasters.

Okay, in all honesty I was a tad hesitant as I’d had dealings with the hosting organisation before and let’s just say that a banana leaves me more satisfied than they had.

Yet natural disasters are very real when you live on a tiny island that shakes rattles and rolls harder than Elvis.  It’s impacting everyone – not just business owners.

I was optimistic to meet some real leaders (the born leaders with presence and passion not the titled suits) who are on a mission to bring change, to create, to collaborate, to have the powerful conversations so desperately needed at this time.


First off – don’t waste my fucking time.


I have zero tolerance for that.

And you shouldn’t either.

Here’s a room packed with business owners to the point that quite a few was left standing.  It’s the end of the day, everyone is tired.  Everyone sacrificed time with their loved ones.

The promise made was information to assist business owners to get through natural disasters.  NOT a row of sales reps selling their insurance packages and PR packages and back-up packages.


Secondly, and this is what really gets me raging, not a single speaker (there was 5 of them) addressed the human factor.  Not a single speaker addressed the fact that people are jumping off buildings as if it’s bungee jumping season because they’re not emotionally coping with the last earthquake, the drought, the floods.

Nobody addressed the fact that unless YOU, the owner of the business, have a resilient mind-set your business don’t have a hope in hell of thriving.

Nobody evoked a drop of emotion!

And let’s be honest, emotion is what it’s all about.

Because they’re too fucking scared to speak their truth and say “Guys, we need to start getting real because me standing here in my pretty suite with my pretty slide show is bullshit.  Let’s talk like real people.  Who here remembers how to have a powerful conversation?  Let’s have those!”

In fact, not a single speaker opened the floor for questions.

Not a single one!

Oh yes, you can have the insurance policy in case your rep gets shot and injured in Kenya (I’m not kidding you – this is the example used in the presentation for natural disasters in New Zealand!).  But if you crumble, if you sink into depression, if you think you can drink your way out of this shit, your ship will sink and everyone on board is going to fucking drown.

Including your kids.

Including your spouse.

Including your staff.

Including their family.

Including your customers.


Why are we hosting bullshit events which has people reaching for another glass of wine just to get through the 50 minutes of presentations when we’re starving for real conversations.

We need to have the conversations on how we as business owners, leaders in our businesses, our homes, our communities, are going to ensure that we have the emotional grit and support we need to get through the worst case scenarios!  And not wait until shit happens!  It’s way easier to work your resilience muscle with the little disasters instead of waiting for the shit storm of the century to happen.

We need to have the conversations on how we as business owners, leaders in our business, our home, our community, can empower our staff to become better, stronger, more resilient in themselves so that we don’t have to try and save them as well when the next quake happens.

We need to have the conversations on how we as business owners, leaders in our business, our home, our community, change catalysts, healers, creatives, can reach out and empower those around us who we can see are not coping.  Those who are still reeling from the previous tsunami.  Those who are breaking and beating the shit out of their kids because they feel stripped of their testicles and will do anything to feel a measure of power and control again.

These are the conversations that we need to be having as a business community around business continuity.  Because if our community crumbles, whether local or global, we don’t have a purpose to even do business.

Hey, don’t think just because you’re sitting in another country this doesn’t apply to you.  Every country has its challenges.

This is for everyone.

In case you haven’t noticed, Gaia is not happy with us, and right now she is taking out the insect repellent and wreaking havoc all over the planet.  Between natural disasters and people losing their shit and murdering as if life is worth fuck-all, we’re in crisis.  And with social media we get to experience the trauma even when watching from the safety of our homes on the other side of the world.

It’s having an impact on you whether you own it or not.

As a collective, we’re in deep doodoo.

As a collective, we need to stop sitting in rooms talking about back-up files and we need to be talking about getting back up!

We need YOU to start stepping up into the leadership role that you were born to be in.

Yes, YOU.

If you’re reading this, YOU my gorgeous friend, are a born leader!  I don’t care what your ‘official’ title is.  I don’t care if your business is in Information Technology or running a household and raising the next generation.

I agree, the practical systems are important, but I’ve been coaching business owners and CEO’s long enough to know that if you have a strong mind-set you can lose EVERYTHING and still be okay.  You will find a way.  You will become resourceful.  You will build it again from the ground up if you have to.  You will thrive.


If your mind is defeated you can have every insurance policy, you can sit with all your backed-upped files, you can have your Instagram posts continuing, you will fold.  Because you won’t be able to find the inner strength to get up and start again.  You will walk away.  Broken.

And here’s the other thing that I want to say you today – it’s not just about YOU!  

It’s about your company and all the people whose lives you touch.

It’s about your community – even the irritating fucking neighbour insisting on mowing the lawn on a Sunday afternoon.

It’s about humanity and the fact that we’re heading through a tunnel and I’m not sure that light up front is going to be sunshine for everyone.

It’s time for the leaders to go back to sitting around the fires and having the powerful conversations.  Leave your fucking suit at home and be a human being.

It’s time for the entrepreneurs to have the collective conversations around creation and collaboration for the upliftment and expansion of all.

It’s time for the healers to gather under the full moon and do the rituals that bring healing to themselves, to Gaia, to all.

It’s time for us to stop hiding behind our laptops and to start connecting.

But not with assholes.

Please, I actually don’t have the patience for asses in suits anymore.

I want to connect with your passion!  I want to see it oozing out of your pores even when you just walk down the street.

I want to connect with your purpose!  I want you to inspire me with your words so that I will throw my all behind you because your success is my success.

I want to connect with your vulnerability!  I want to see your courage through the understanding that we are the ones willing to say Voldemort, even though others try and hush us with their raised eyebrows, because speaking about the monsters takes away their power.

I work with the born leaders, the change bringers, the healers, the creators, the artists, the achievers.  I work with those who are prepared to have the uncomfortable conversations because their passion is greater than their fear.  I work with those who are willing to have eyebrows raised with a curse word or two because they understand that we have to move past bullshit fucking inconsequential societal rules.  It’s time to get real.

Are you getting real?

Are you?

Death is already inevitable Darling.

Don’t bore yourself to death even faster.

Instead, thriving is always an option for you.

With love eternal,


PS:  Nope, there is no PS today.  Just fucking rise!