Does it even matter where it comes from?

Why do you think we, the brilliantly intelligent species, have this need to understand?

Where all our hangups come from?

Why we are afraid?

Why we procrastinate?

Why we do the stupid shit we tend to do at times?

Why we feel unhappy?

Is it really necessary to understand?

I mean, think about it,

dogs don’t sit in therapy,

cats don’t walk around on drugs,

and if you truly believe that you are powerful and fucking fabulous – as I know you to be –

who gives a shit?

Personally I find it a waste of precious time.

I spent months in therapy rehashing the past to find the origins of my depression.

But do you really think that reliving three decades of  crap made me happy?

Or, is it possible that by going into all the details I simply brought it into my current experience, thereby making it an issue again?

I still haven’t figured out why people did the things they did to me.

I still don’t know their issues that had them lashing out.

What I do know is that between the hours with the shrink and the packets of ‘happy pills’ I was more miserable than ever before!

I had a choice to make:

keep living in the past,

or

stop my shit, focus on where I want to go, and take fucking action!

Here’s what I discovered when I stopped taking the pills, left the chair and got real with myself:

  1. I was out of shape.  I was fat.  I was weak.  I looked like shit.  My energy was low.  My mind foggy.  I had the confidence of a shrimp.
  2. I didn’t have any dreams, desires, goals.  I was on that insane hamster wheel running my short legs into oblivion whilst going nowhere because I didn’t have anywhere exciting to go.  Life seemed dull and hopeless and boring.  MY GOD no wonder I felt depressed.
  3. By focusing on trying to figure out the toxic relationships of the past, I was creating toxic relationships in my present day.  I unknowingly trained people to treat me like the stuff you scrape off the bottom of your shoes trying to figure out why people were treating me like the stuff you scrape off the bottom of your shoe.  Insanity!
  4. I was playing average.  I mean seriously Darling, have you seen me???  Do I look average???  Yet I found myself constantly stopping and waiting for others to catch up to me.  Sometimes I would even walk back to pick them up and carry their asses so I wouldn’t have to leave them behind!  Can you relate?

I came to the realisation that trying to figure out WHY was wasting my precious energy and time when I could be focusing on:

  1. Getting my body into shit hot shape, increasing my stamina, my strength, my flexibility and feel sexy AF thereby increasing my confidence and my presence.
  2. Setting the goals that has my ASS ON FIRE!  I mean it, my goals are HOT HOT HOT.  They turn me on.  They get me up before the rest of the neighbourhood has thought of farting.  They keep me going like a steam engine throughout the day.  Passion burns resistance and I don’t have time to stop and figure out why I’m afraid.  Yes, I’m scared.  I acknowledge it.  I choose what I do in the presence of fear.  I do it.
  3. Surround myself with high vibrational badasses who are solution focussed, wealth conscious, spiritual and who, through their very presence, inspires me to up my game.  Yes, it is uncomfortable at times to be around the A-players – but they are just like you and me!  They’ve simply put in the work to strengthen their minds so they can live a life of conscious creation.
  4. I owned the fact that I’m a high achiever.  It was never up to me to wait for others.  Instead, my sole responsibility is to ensure that I’m showing up as my best version self.  Working with the coaches and mentors who insist on my best.  Feeding the machine with stimulating books and nourishing habits.  And then I get to play with those who, like me, are prepared to do the work and choose to be happy.

Now before I have the board of mental health come down on my ass, I’m not saying that there’s no place for therapy.

We are all different.

It works for some folks.

It simply didn’t work for me.

I’m an achiever.

I don’t really give a rats ass of what others think is possible or realistic or responsible.

I don’t really care why I feel resistance or fear.

I don’t want to spend my time dissecting my past, never-mind the previous lifetimes.

I only care about where I am, where I want to be, and bridging the gap.

Again and again.

Always appreciative of what is

whilst hungering for more.

In fact, coaching is NOT for everyone.

Not everyone wants to move at this speed.

Not everyone wants an indestructible mindset.

Shit, not everyone truly wants to be happy.

Because happy is such a foreign concept for them, so unfamiliar, that it feels normal to be miserable.

Plus their current environment is one of struggle and strive and it takes titanium balls to leave all of that behind.

Different strokes for different folks.

What I can share with you today is that I’ve been miserable,

I’ve been depressed,

I’ve been suicidal,

and I personally thought it felt horrible.

So now I choose joy,

I choose hope,

I choose excitement,

I choose thrive.

Only death is inevitable.

Thriving is always a choice.

With my love,

Anel

PS:  Coaching is powerful and impactful. It’s about making the smallest changes in trajectory that leads to an entirely different outcome.

A high-performer myself, I know there’s always a way.  I’ve invested and continue to invest in myself through study, implementation, working with exceptional coaches and mentors, physically challenging events and above all dedication to my craft, to have the resilience, strategies and innovation to find the puzzle pieces that has me create the outcomes I truly desire.

But the deepest truth is that I lived most of my life feeling like an imposter. I could appear confident on the outside whilst dying on the inside.  Regardless of how much I achieved in life, I envied those around me who always seemed to create more or bigger or better than I ever could.

Turns out that this feeling of inadequacy and relentless drive for more eventually became my gift in working with high performing men and women. You see, I am exceptionally gifted at seeing the true power in people—even when they can’t see it for themselves.

My clients do things that few ever dream of. They are dynamic, passionate and successful, yet whatever is coming next still feels like a really big leap of faith.

I help courageous people who already achieve ‘impossible’ goals to achieve what still looks ‘impossible’ to them.

If this sounds like you, let’s talk and explore if working together is a good partnership.