There’s this old saying “Be careful what you wish for”
Since understanding the true creative power of my words I’ve been really conscious of this.
I now realise that we truly receive EVERYTHING we ask for – sometimes we’re just not very aware of what we’re asking for.
So when I asked to see that which I’ve not been ready to see before, I knew I was in for one helluva wake up.
I’m not being disappointed.
Each day as I continue to ask I’m taken deeper into my shadow side.
The side of me which, up to this moment, I didn’t want to face.
I didn’t want to see the shitty parts of me, tripping me up, fucking me up.
I thought that if I kept pretending it didn’t exist it wouldn’t matter.
It wouldn’t make THAT big a difference.
I was wrong.
Because what I’m seeing is taking my breath away.
The ways in which I’ve hurt myself in the attempt to protect myself is devastating.
To those I’m here to serve.
For every time that I operate from my shadow self, I shrink a little.
I hide a little.
Like a scared little girl.
Who’s been beaten one too many times.
Like a terrified young woman.
Who’s been knocked down one too many times.
Like a terrified mother.
Who’s been broken one too many times.
And it sucks.
So fucking much.
To witness this within myself.
No wonder I’ve been living in denial.
I can have compassion with myself.
But I’ve also had enough of my own bullshit.
I’ve had enough of not facing the demons because I know that unless I name them, I can never change them.
And I’m changing fast and furiously.
I’m on a mission to step into the light and show you my battle scars. The lesions. The imperfections. The dents.
After all, that’s my soul work.
I now know that I agreed on the lessons of abuse and bullying and pain and heartache and loss SO THAT I could have the opportunity to grow and choose to thrive.
I now know that I truly agreed to the life of a warrior.
And it thrills me!
I never came here to go from one day to the next for my own preservation or entertainment.
But to share it with those who have iconic levels of achievement to accomplish in this lifetime so they don’t have the time to work through all the lessons one by one.
I’m here to learn and share and collapse the timeframe of their awakening so they can get on with living their purposes.
That’s why I work with the leaders, the change bringers, the creatives, the artists, the healers, the achievers.
For they have important work to do and so do I.
Which is why I gladly go into the dark.
Why I continue asking for more.
Show me more.
I am strong enough.
I am courageous enough.
I am driven enough.
I am committed enough.
To never give up.
Death before DNF
Death before DNF!
That doesn’t mean my clients don’t have to face their personal demons.
If their courageous enough to work with me they have what it takes to face anything lurking in the shadows.
My clients rock and I have the deepest respect and love for them.
I look around and I’m astounded at how few people are even prepared to own the fact that their shadow side exists!
I’m shocked and quite frankly devastated because I also know that if you don’t name your shit, your shit owns you.
It controls your behaviour.
It eats up your thoughts just as the worms will feast on your brain when you’re six feet under.
It poisons your emotions.
It doesn’t allow you to take complete responsibility for your life and instead you spew your bullshit onto everyone around you.
All the time living like a puppet to ego.
The truth is life is happening.
And you’re a player.
Whether you want to admit that or not.
I believe we can continue to point finger at everyone else, saying that because of them we have to endure whatever.
We can choose to play the role of a helpless victim.
I played that card for a couple of decades.
But honestly, it simply didn’t fit my personality.
It didn’t feel good.
It almost killed me.
If the demon called depression couldn’t kill me, nothing from inside will.
I have taken my pain and I’m turning it into my power.
Making me indestructible.
Not afraid to bleed.
Not afraid to cry.
For I will not break!
And neither will you.
But you have to TTFU first Darling.
You have to draw a line in the sand and decide that from this day forward you take responsibility for EVERYTHING in your life. The good, the bad, and the miserable as hell.
You have to draw a line in the sand and decide that from this day forward you will face your demons and slay them one by one.
You have to draw a line in the sand and decide that from this day forward you will stop judging yourself and instead open yourself to greater levels of awareness, astounding levels of learning.
It’s all a choice.
If you choose not to make these choices, know that you’re choosing the opposite.
You are choosing NOT to take responsibility but to stay a victim.
Yo are choosing NOT to face your demons and to have them cut you up on the inside.
You are choosing NOT to stop the self-judgement and instead live in hell on earth.
It’s all a choice.
I also want you to know that you chose to come here with greatness within you. You chose to come here with the power to create universes.
But just because you were born for greatness doesn’t mean it’s going to happen if you don’t do the work.
The real work.
The work that has you waking up.
That’s always a choice.
Death is inevitable Sunshine.
Are you choosing to thrive?
With love eternal,
PS: Life is interesting, challenging, exciting. Especially for those who are here to bring change. Those who are here to bring healing. Those who are here to create their art. And it can feel lonely at times. It can feel as if nobody understands. That nobody gets you. That nobody is on your side. Welcome to Wild Woman Rebels. A private Facebook group for women on a mission to thrive who have zero tolerance for mediocre bullshit. If you’re that woman, if you’re passionate and high vibe and think you have an excellent sense of humour even if nobody else seems to agree, then come join the sisterhood today.