How you receive feedback says more about you than the feedback.

I have a confession to make.

I love watching talent shows.

“So you think you can dance” will always be my favourite.  This probably has something to do with my dream to become a professional dancer.

A dream crushed by a knee injury at the age of eighteen.

But once a dancer, always a dancer.  Now I simply dance on my bike, or out on a run, or even doing yoga.

Currently I’m watching “The X Factor” and I’m fascinated as contestants shows their bright side in the ‘before’ interviews, and reveal their true colours during the auditions.

Let’s just start off by stating that we’re all human!

Negative feedback is NEVER pleasant to receive.

EVER.

When you’ve had the courage to face down your fears and leave yourself exposed, to be judged, it stings like a mother when the answer is NO.

Yet true achievers take it in.

They absorb.

They put it to one side and remain professional all the way out the door, waiting for the right time to process.  To dissect. To go inside and ask themselves “Does this feel true to me?”

True achievers understand that sometimes criticism is based on the bias of the judge and has nothing to do with them.

True achievers understand that sometimes they simply trigger others and receive inaccurate feedback or criticism which doesn’t belong to them.

They take the time to evaluate where the feedback is coming from.  If from a source they respect, they will adjust their actions, taking on board all they can to improve their performance.

If however the feedback is from a spectator, one who doesn’t even have the balls to be in the game, they’ll simply smile and nod and disregard.

Wannabes on the other hand has a completely different reaction to criticism.

They explode!

They defend themselves.

They beg!

“Please Simon, just give me another chance.  I know I can do better.  Pleeeeeeease!”

But life is not a fucking dress rehearsal Darling.

When you’re on stage you have to give it your all!  You can’t afford to hold back?  For what?

Let’s take it back to your bike, my favourite place.

You’re out training.  It’s intervals.  Fuuuuuuck – I adore hating intervals.

Amateurs look at the program and think to themselves:  “I have five intervals to do.  So I have to pace myself in the first three, give it a little more by number four and then hammer number five.”

Hell no!

You leave it all out on every single one of those.

From the very first.

When the program says MAX effort you blow your legs EVERY FUCKING INTERVAL!

And if you puke by number three, good.

If max effort by number five is a pathetic attempt that has a granny pass you, BRILLIANT!

That’s how real achievers train.

That’s how real achievers become strong.

That’s how real achievers audition.

That’s how real achievers perform.

Real achievers don’t beg.

They take the punch, they go do more work, become better, stronger, and they come back to prove they’ve got what it takes.

Wannabes throw diva-like tantrums.  They blame the judges.  They blame the stress.  They blame the fact that their dog ate the musical sheets this morning.

They burn their bridges and not in a good way.

Because even if they come back the next year they’ve left a bad taste in the mouths of the judges.

They’ve given themselves a huge disadvantages from which to recover.

True performers look into the future.

They walk off that stage with the foresight that their current exit will set the stage for their next entrance.

They don’t blame anyone or anything for a bad performance.  They know that ultimately they are the creators of their success.  They also understand that shit happens.  That not all days are created equal.  That the one thing they are in charge of is themselves – their thoughts, their emotions, their actions.

They take it all on themselves.

All of it.

Total responsibility.

Total accountability.

Total power Baby.

You’re probably wondering what all of this has to do with you?

Well Darling – I want you to sit down today and evaluate your past response to criticism.

I want you to take a compassionate look with the intention of growth.

Have you historically blown up when others gave you negative feedback?  Have you thrown your arms in the air and immediately deflected everything back to them?  Have you gone home and told all your friends that this idiot has no idea what they’re talking about.  That your boss is a dick.  That the company was being inconsiderate and their expectations were ludicrous.  Because it wasn’t your fault.

Have you been, dare I say it? showing up as a wannabe?

Or have you taken the good and the bad feedback on board.  Walked away and sat down asking yourself if you respect the source it came from?  Asked yourself if it is true for you?  Asked yourself which blindspots this feedback has illuminated for you?  Taken the feedback to improve your performance?

THAT my friend is the mark of a true achiever.

It’s not easy.

Especially for true achievers.  As we all have the ego-thing going on.

But if your ego is greater than your desire for success, you’re not an achiever.

You’re just one of the sheople.

You only want feedback that makes you feel good.  Feedback that strokes your ego or is delivered in a way that’s all soft and mushy – like a baby eating pureed food.

I just want to say as well, that at any given time, you can change your ways.  You can change your expectations of yourself.  You can take back your power and rise to the true magnificence you are capable of.  You can choose to be a true achiever.

It’s a choice.

There’s no room in heaven where the storks line up and get given a package that says “Achiever destined for success” or “Sheople destined for average at best”.

We’re all created equal.

It’s a choice how we live.

Death is inevitable.

Thriving like a motherfucking achiever, is a choice.

With love eternal,

Anel

PS:  Part of being coachable as a client, is the ability to receive feedback.  It’s about having a hunger for success that has your ego for breakfast.  For you desire greatness.  You desire to achieve.  And you know that you have blindspots.  You know there are areas in your life where you’re just too close to the situation to see what is truly going on.

And you want to see!

You want a new perspective.

New insights.

New ways of doing things so that you can bask in the glory of next level thrive.

I only work with true achievers.  Those who are ready to take full responsibility and accountability for the results in their lives.  The leaders, creatives, entrepreneurs in the world who do the work to live the dream.

For the months of November and December I’m offering Ignite Sessions for those who are ready to create their next level vision.  During our ninety minutes together we’ll  gain clarity on your true desires and set the goals to achieve them.  This is also an excellent opportunity to see if we’re a powerful fit for coaching and should you wish to continue working with me the investment of the Ignite session will be deducted from your six month package.