Have you ever considered the tone of your questions?

One of the learnings that really changed my life, was around questions.

I do believe that it was Tony Robbins who first brought this to my attention when he stated that if you desire better results, ask better questions.

I started realising that those voices in my head, you know, the ones I’m always telling you about, not only love playing the same old stories like an old broken record,

they also tend to be very uncreative when it comes to asking questions.

I would listen to myself asking the same old boring questions day in and day out:

  • What am I not seeing?
  • What am I not doing?
  • What am I doing wrong?
  • What is wrong with me?

Now I don’t know about you, but when I look at those they make me feeling pretty anxious.

As though there’s a fault in my genetic make-up.

Like everyone else is getting it right which means if I’m not seeing the results, it’s not WHAT I’m doing that’s wrong, it’s ME!

Which, in all honesty, feels like shit.

There’s an accusatory tone to them.  I can’t help but receive the image of an angry teacher waving her finger at me, ready with the “DUNCE” cone behind her back.

PLUS, the answers normally ended up being some version of “I don’t know!

Stated with a whimper and a desperation that smacked of being powerless.

I’ve been on a bit of a mission to turn this around for myself and my clients.

Ultimately I believe that we can approach this thing called life as a death sentence

or

we can approach it as a game.

Either way I know we’re going to end up six feet under, however we get to choose the experience of the journey to the end.

If we take the ‘game’ perspective, would we want to make the game hard and frustrating, bashing our heads into the wall?

I know you’re saying “Of course not!” yet for the longest time this is exactly what I did!

And I bet that if you’re honest there was a time that you did too.

Maybe you still are.

That’s okay.

It’s all about awareness.

But the alternative would be to make the game fun, interesting, adventurous!

Understand as well that we all have a different take on fun, interesting and adventurous.

For me it includes things like moving to paradise, living by the ocean with kilometres of single tracks and building a business doing the work that lights me up every day and having coffee with my boys in the local cafe and running over a mountain, losing my toe-nails and probably a little bit of my mind in the process.

Not exactly everyone’s cup of hot chocolate.

This is what makes us so spectacular – our unique take on things.

So if we go back to our original questions and we change the tone of them to reflect the outcome that we desire in a way that feels fun, interesting and adventurous we end up with something like:

  • If I took a bird’s eye view of my life, what new possibilities could I see that I’ve not spotted before?
  • What actions could I be taking today that feels empowering and how can I do them in a way that feels really fun, spontaneous and a little out there?
  • Which actions am I currently taking that are leaving me feeling unsatisfied and what can I replace them with that has potential delight lurking behind them?
  • What are my super powers and how can I use them even better to get to my desired outcome?

These questions in their very nature feel more uplifting, fun and creative!

Which, I’m delighted to say, always yields results that are way more enjoyable.

Even if I don’t get to the exact outcome I’m working towards, I’m still loving the process because the actions I take in and of themselves are fun, interesting and adventurous!

Now I’m going to let you in on a little secret Darling,

lean in,

a little closer…

All those goals you’re setting,

that vision you’re working so hard to have,

is all in the name of feeling better!

Regardless of how good or how bad you’re feeling, you want BETTER.

Except most people put the cart in front of the horse.

They say ‘I first have to achieve X, then I will feel Y.

And then they wonder why they feel stuck and frustrated and bitter.

I’ve NEVER seen a cart pull a horse – have you?

The emotion has to come FIRST and THEN you will achieve the result.

How do you get the emotion first?

By taking the actions in the spirit of the emotions you desire to have coursing through your veins!

Don’t disregard this just because it sounds too simple or because it goes against what you’ve been clinging to all these years.

I’m not here to prove you wrong and make you feel bad about yourself.

I’m simply sharing what I’ve found to be useful in my life thereby creating the opportunity for you to be a little ‘adventurous’, trying it a new way and then comparing the results for yourself.

Over to you –

  • Take out that committed goal sheet you’ve been working on all year;
  • Have a look at the emotions you believe your goals will give you;
  • Then ask some action-creating questions reflecting the desired emotions;

and viola!

Let me know what you find and more importantly, how you FEEL!

You know I love you,

Anel

PS:  Feeling a little flat?

Like you’ve run out of juice and you’re not yet halfway to the finish line?

Yet DETERMINED NOT TO LET GO of your goals?

Then it’s time for a jump-start Darling.

I’ve created Recalibrate and Accelerate for the month of June to ensure that regardless of how impossible it feels, you still end 2018 on a high.

90 MINUTES IS ALL I NEED TO GET YOU FROM SLIGHTLY DEMOTIVATED TO RECONNECTED, RECALIBRATED AND ACCELERATED TO YOUR EPIC 2018!

Check out the details and claim your session today.