As I sat under the full moon on Saturday, asking for clarity on what to release, I had no idea what I was in for.
Then it hit me yesterday.
It’s time to burn my precious journals.
Decades’ worth of my life experiences captured on pages.
Some of those words were written with great joy and appreciation.
Some of them smeared as ink blent with tears simultaneously pouring onto the page.
Releasing the torrents within.
Finding the insights obscured inside my mind.
There’s a shit ton of pages.
I’ve been moving these trusted confidents with me from Pretoria to Kinnegad, to Port Elizabeth, to Johannesburg, to Pegasus City.
And today I’m offering them up to my ancestors to break the chains formed by my patterns of behaviour. I am releasing them to Creator to transform learning into love.
I’ve come to the insight that for almost two decades I’ve been capturing a particular cycle – one where I dig deep to find my true desires, work my ass off to achieve specified results, then sit down waiting for others to catch up with me.
and over again
This has been my pattern.
Oh I’ve let plenty of people go along the way.
Family members who played their role of crushing my spirit.
I thank you for the gifts in learning and release you.
Friends who played their role in stabbing me in the back.
I thank you for the gifts in learning and release you.
Those who taught me to always look within to find my joy.
Those who taught me to always trust my intuition.
Those who taught me that as long as I rely on myself and my Creator, I can achieve anything!
I thank you all for the gifts in learning and release you.
I am after all the lone wolf.
Yet there’s been those that I’ve always waited for, reluctant to go too far ahead just in case they don’t pull finger and catch up.
I’m releasing this cycle today.
For I’ve come to the realisation that this is not love – it is only fear. And fear can be a destructive force my Darling.
By keeping myself back, I have kept everyone else from truly living their potential.
Of finding their ultimate happiness.
Why would they have to?
When they have me to keep the pace nice and easy for them.
It’s like riding with a strong cyclist and having them wait for you every few kilometres, giving you the opportunity to recover and then mosey along.
Except I didn’t choose to ride with those ‘nice’ people when I trained to race.
I chose to ride with the mean motherfuckers who showed me no mercy.
Who would ride at their pace.
Those who, when I blew my legs and fell behind, would wait at the top of the hill and as soon as I came close to them, would take off again.
Them now being fully rested and restless like the race horses they were.
Me ripping curse words in my head like a machine gun.
I didn’t like them much.
I fucking adored them!
They made me strong.
They trained me into a real competitor.
It was always my choice.
At any moment I could have chosen to give up.
I could have chosen to go ride with the social bunch.
They looked like they were having fun.
They were chatting all the way, laughter and smiles.
But they only did about half the distance.
They never felt the thrill of getting to the finish line completely smashed!
It’s just not their vibe.
But it sure as hell is mine.
And so I kept showing up to the mean bunch.
I kept riding out of my comfort zone.
I kept showing up for myself.
And like the magnificent beasts that they are, they kept leaving me behind.
Until one day they couldn’t.
Because I had risen to their level.
This is my promise to myself and those I adore.
Never again will I sit down and wait for anyone.
You have a choice.
You can up your game.
You can curse in your head and sweat and struggle and become stronger.
You can be one of my people.
You can own the fact that I’m just not your tribe.
Not your vibe.
And go find your true happiness with those who do life socially.
Because I love you too much to keep you trapped in your gilded cage.
I am under no illusion that this will be an easy thing.
But it’s time for next level sacrifice for next level thrive.
That’s what my soul desires.
It’s what I came here to do.
I never came to this life to keep people comfortable in mediocrity.
I came here to inspire, to empower, to see the magnificence within each person and to speak to THAT part of them.
Not the victim.
I doubt it very much my friend.
The truth is that as long as we abandon our magnificence in the name of ‘love’, we are not being loving at all.
Love is showing up as your best version self to inspire others to take a look in the mirror and find their truth.
Love is never keeping others stuck in codependency but to free them to find their power.
Love is liberation without judgement.
Not everyone loves the hustle. Not everyone thrives in achieving epic goals.
But if that is your thrive, it’s selfish to hold yourself back in any way.
What are your patterns that have kept you safe in the shade?
The cycles that has you making minuscule improvements each year?
Are you even making progress?
What do you need to burn today?
Who do you need to empower with the choice of freedom?
By showing up as your best version self.
For ultimately it’s still their choice if they want to stay or leave.
It’s YOUR responsibility to love yourself and them enough to offer them the option.
It’s YOUR responsibility as the leader to create the culture of excellence.
In your business.
In your relationships.
In your life.
For death is inevitable.
Thriving is a hard choice my friend.
With love always,
PS: I would never have reached this level of release had I not chosen love.
Love that has a deep desire for all of humanity to thrive. In whatever form that takes for them.
This is the love I want you to experience.
Yet I’ve discovered that especially as women we have been indoctrinated to believe that love is putting ourselves below everyone else. To form the stepping stones for others to go higher. Which is a completely fucked up!
We create most when our cup is overflowing.
When we are luxuriating in our magnificence.
We create and empower when we adore the face in the mirror and show up as our best version self.
Which is why I’m starting a Self-Love Revolution in Wild Woman Rebels.
For the entire month of November I will be guiding you with journaling prompts, exercises and goddesses yoga to fall madly in-love with yourself. To become the truly sensual, powerful goddess that you are in your core.
This revolution is free for women globally so join us today.