Are you Middle-Aged and Resisting Technology?

By Susan Jacobs

This post probably isn’t for the young whippersnappers who were playing with a smartphone while nursing on mama’s tit, but rather for us middle-agers who loved carbon paper, IBM Selectric typewriters, and answering machines.  We resisted television remote controls, transitioning from LPs to CDs was traumatic, Facebook and the internet were alien, and we came late to set up email accounts. If this sounds familiar, please read on.

A neighbor once said when they started construction on the Barclays Center stadium just three blocks from my apartment in Brooklyn, “We’re watching it go up, but we’re never going to see it come down so we better make friends with it.”

Technology is the same deal. It ain’t going away and continues to morph at warp speed.

So here we are in 2016, a strange and exciting time when one of our most intimate relationships is with our phone. It’s with us all the time. We sleep with it within arms reach, in same cases it’s actually in our beds.  We take it to the bathroom. It’s the first and last thing we look at each day. It holds all of our life in its clutches.

For years, I refused to upgrade from my flip phone to a smart phone until one day a dear friend said that people knew I was older every time my flip phone was visible.  The next day I upgraded to my darling Samsung Galaxy with which I continue to have a fabulous love affair even after all these years.

But seriously, what the fuck? We no longer walk observing the world, smiling at others, appreciating beauty, but rather nose to screen, hands engaged, looking down all the time. We’re losing the ability to have meaningful conversations in real life face-to-face…..

The world is literally passing us by as we develop more and more dependence on our phone.  The desktop and laptop will soon be a thing of the past, with everything transiting to mobile..  A friend gave his 12-year-old daughter a fully loaded, almost $5K Mac computer, and she said, “No thanks, I don’t need it.  I’ve got my phone.” And she turned it down.

According to an article in Wired magazine last year, in less than two years, a smartphone or tablet could be our only computer.

I was resistant big time and resentful at the idea of giving stuff away for free, of the time needed to create original content, and then the additional time needed to spend on social media pumping it out.  A hard lesson to learn initially was that engaging in conversations so people could get to know had to come first before expecting anyone to read my blogs or hire me. Consider it digital foreplay.

But I finally drank the Kool Aid and understood.

Clearly, it’s a brave new world. So when I decided it was time to kick some middle-aged technology ass, the four mindset shifts I made in order to embrace this were:

  • Accepting that this would be an ongoing education process and that I didn’t have to know how to do everything technologically right away.
  • Remembering that knowledge is power, and the more I continue to learn about the digital ways of the world today, the more informed, better decisions I could make for my business and brand.
  • Understanding that this is, in part, generational, yet doesn’t mean that I’m old in my middle age.
  • Recognizing that I have a wealth of business and life experience that the generations after me will never have because they live life in front of a screen, and they are experiencing the world in ways that I’ll never know even as I continue to learn. It is first nature to them and about fifth nature to me.

So, my advice is:  Get over your fears, insecurities, and resistance. Deal with it, see a shrink, or hire a coach.  If you want to make it in the world of business, it’s time to jump onto the high-speed technology train. Make mistakes, have fun, take risks, maintain a sense of humor, and each time it’ll get a little better.  Just do it.

Please feel free to comment or share this post.

Susan JacobsAbout Susan

I’m a world traveler, salsa dancing, yoga practicing, wanna-be Buddhist, and perpetual work-in-progress.  I believe we are co-creators of our lives and that anything is possible when we get out of our own way.  Giving voice to things that matter, spreading ideas, and expanding perspectives is the heart and soul of who I am and what I do.

Writing has been part of my DNA, career, and creative outlet for as long as I can remember. For-hire, I’m a copy and content writer and strategist working with coaches that are looking to make the world a better place through human evolution. As a coach, the strongest selling point and differentiator you have is your personal journey and transformation. As a professional wordsmith, I make sure that your essence is conveyed to speak directly to your idea client, that your content and marketing are in alignment with the high quality of the product of services you offer, and are consistent across the board – website, blogs, newsletters, LinkedIn, and PR and branding materials.

I specialize in cutting through the noise and clutter with authentic, engaging, easily accessible content. From a 25-year career in PR, marketing, and branding I’m able to work to look at all aspects of your business and brand and provide a ‘fresh’ perspective, as an outsider, who creates content that anyone can understand.

I’m a contributing author to the recently published book “Pain, Purpose, Passion: That Was Then, This Is Now,” and my personal essays have appeared in FourTwoNine Magazine, Aquarian Times, Spirituality & Health, PR Week, and IndieWire. I’m working on her first memoir about my holistic healing journey through a hyperthyroid and Graves’ disease for The Round House Press. I’m also a guest blogger for Yogic Living and Identity Magazine. I live in Brooklyn and can be found at:

Website | LinkedIn | Twitter

Are you ready to embrace all that you need to continuously move in the direction of greater success?  Then come join my tribe of kick-ass ladies who do what they do with power at Get Out Of Your Head.

The Silent Warrior – Forcing the Gears

This is my personal truth.

I am rediscovering my love for mountain biking.  There is something about the splashing through mud, flowing through the forest, the exhilaration of the drop-offs and the immense power required for the steep climbs that brings out a different side to me (as opposed to my well behaved lady-like side LOL).

On top of all this there is no time to go into the trans-like state I often find myself in on the road.  You have to be wide awake.  Prepared to turn at a moments notice.  Look ahead to see what is coming in order for you to prepare not only your body position, but also ensure that you are in the right gear.

I’m clearly out of practice on the last point.  It’s not hard to spot when you hear the loud ‘clank’ every time I try in desperation to change gears when I’m already in the climb.  Unfortunately two things happen:  one, there is the chance that your gears won’t change because there is simply too much tension on the chain which means you have to push with all your might and pray that you don’t come to a stand-still and see your ass before reaching the top; and two, you are damaging your bike and stretching the chain.  Not to mention the fact that it takes a shit-ton out of you leaving you rather exhausted from the effort of getting to the top.  If you continue to do this on a regular basis there is a really good chance that your chain will eventually snap and take it from someone carrying the scars, it hurts like hell!

Thankfully I’m getting better at changing gears in my business.  This is done by setting goals and continuously evaluating where I am on my journey, looking at what is coming up next, and adjusting my gears accordingly.  When things are going at speed and feel effortless, I continue to drive in the big chain.  But as soon as I see a ‘technical’ area coming up which means more effort, I gear down and just spin through it.  Not only do I get to the results I desired, but I do so without breaking myself, or my business, in the process.

I keep on hearing women criticizing my hard work ethic saying that I don’t schedule in enough self-care and that I’m going to burn out.  Well honey, after more than a decade as an entrepreneur I’m still going strong!  One of the reasons being the ability to gear down when needed whilst not standing still.  If there is one thing I have learned about myself it is that it is much harder for me to stop and start again than to keep going.  Yes, I CAN recover whilst still riding.  And while everyone else is stopping to take a drink and then chasing me only to end up exhausted by the time they catch up, I keep peddling, have a sip, and cruise.

Where are you not changing gears in time for the technical pieces?  Where are you pushing on those hard gears to get up the steep incline when you could be spinning up?  Are you so caught up in the moment that you’re not even looking ahead?  Because powering on in the wrong gear will lead to a broken chain every single time.

Walk with honor.

So you ready to stop trying to move your business forward in the pack of average?  You ready to come play in the front of the peloton?  Then it’s time for us to chat.

I work with women who are done with everything mediocre.  Who are passionate about their dreams and are willing to do what it takes.  Book a free consult here to see if we’re a good fit.

The Silent Warrior – Mind Your Own Business

This is my personal truth.

Let’s face it, with the explosion of our world reach through the internet it is really hard not to look at what our peers and mentors are doing.  What is new in the industry, who are the new rising stars, what are they doing differently from us?

On the one hand it is really important to keep abreast of what is trending and understanding the psychology behind it, on the other hand it can lead to confusion and paralysis as people are always feeling two steps behind or comparing themselves with those around them and feeling that they are not quite matching up to those in the forefront.  With this comes doubt – doubt in your own abilities, doubt in the voices in your head guiding you on your path, doubt in your worth because you seem to be cherry when the current flavor of the masses is peach.  I know – heaven knows I’ve been there.

There is a reason why you are an entrepreneur.  What works for the masses in terms of productivity, results and satisfaction does nothing for you.  It is boring.  It is restrictive.  It is uninspiring.  And it is insane.  So you left the corporate world knowing that deep within you there is a desire to have your unique voice heard, to say your say in whatever fucking way you desire to say it and if they want to call you unprofessional they can kiss your ass because you’re an entrepreneur.

Then why on God’s green and blue earth are you looking at what everyone else is doing and trying to follow in their footsteps in an attempt to get their results?  It is nothing but fear darling.  And the more you buy into it, the more you try and do it the same as everyone else, the further away you move from your own truth, your intuition and your joy.

During my years as a psychology student I became aware of the driving force behind questions.  There were the questions we asked to help our clients gain clarity, and there were the questions we asked out of our own curiosity which had nothing to do with shifting our clients in any way.  I’ll give you a hint – asking category B questions is not adding value to anyone’s lives.  In business when you come from a place of fear and doubt, you start asking the wrong questions.  You start asking others how many clients they currently have, or how much money they currently make.  Seriously, what difference does that make to your business and your life except to compare yourself to them?  And to what end?

I prefer asking questions such as what books are you currently reading, whose work are you finding meaning in, what are your daily routines that leave you feeling empowered or what races are you doing next LOL.  I know by now that trying to do things the way that others do it leads to epic failure for me.  Even in my sport, I really have to adjust my training to my injuries and get creative.  To train the way that everyone else trains, no matter how elite they might be or how many podiums they get, leads to immense pain and absolute devastation for me!  This is why my coaches tend to be out of the box thinkers and I work one-on-one with them rather than in groups.

On top of all this, if there is one thing the Universe is teaching me in spades at the moment it is that it doesn’t matter WHAT I do as much as it matters in what vibration I’m doing it in.  And my vibration gets changed when I’m stimulated.  How much you are bringing in this month doesn’t stimulate me in the least.  But your inspirational books do.

When we start looking for our answers in the way that others do it, we lose our essence.  I love being fucking cherry in a world full of peach.  Not everyone is going to eat me and this is GOOD news.  I was never born to satisfy the taste of the masses.  I was born to make those who want to push past their comfort into the arena of excellence salivate for more of me.  And I have not come across anyone who does it exactly the way I do because I’m not trying to simulate anyone else.

I was told this morning I tend to be blunt so true to my nature here is my summary.  Mind your own business because it is the only one that matters.  Become aware of the questions you ask and know that asking the wrong questions simply feeds the fear.  It keeps your focus ‘out there‘ instead of having lazer focus ‘in here‘ which is where it truly matters.  If every business starts smelling the same we are once again robbing the world of our unique gifts in which case you might as well go back to corporate.

Instead of looking for THE 7 steps to success, start finding YOUR 7 steps to success.

Death is inevitable.  Truly living is a choice.

You ready to do it in your own style?  Come join some kick-ass ladies who redefine professional in stilettos or sneaker in my FB group.

The Silent Warrior – Am I bothering you?

This is my personal truth.

I met a wonderful young woman today who was telling me about her brilliant retreat she is hosting later this year.  Her passion and her enthusiasm was addictive and I was so excited to see another woman stepping out of the shadow to share her gift!

I immediately recommended that she post all about her retreat in my Facebook group as it is specifically hosted to provide women with a safe space to have their voices heard without ever being judged or ridiculed or given rules about what to say or when to say it.  Her response was that she didn’t want to bother people with her ads.

As women entrepreneurs we really need to get over this idea that we are bothering people.  FFS – this is about a gift that only YOU were born with.  This is about the value that you bring to the lives of others when they can find you.  If you are always tippy-toeing around because you don’t want to bother people, how on earth will they ever know what you bring to the party?

People are bombarded with images and information from the time they wake up until they go to sleep.  The fact is that they act on the messages that come through loudest from their subconscious minds.  This means that you have to stimulate them more than anyone else before they start paying attention.

I’m sure you’ve noticed that I’m bothering the shit out of people this week.  Why?  Because I’m launching my baby The Booty Program and she deserves her mamma shouting from the roof tops until everyone has come to a stand still to hear what she has to say.  I do this because I believe in her.  I believe that she was created from a need, a level of frustration, that women are feeling and through their power of intention, I was moved into creative action.

Am I annoying some people?  Hell yes!  Do I care?  Hell no!  Because those are not the people I am meant to serve.  If they are not hearing my voice, or don’t like the way I sing, they can go to another opera.

Understand that when you raise your hand in this world and say “YES” to your purpose, it is no longer about you.  There will always be those who don’t like what you say or how you say it, and that’s perfectly okay.  That is exactly why I don’t believe in competition.  Because we all say the same thing in a different way and our people need to hear it in our voices.  That does not mean you stop singing when someone tells you you’re off key.

Have you ever heard a cat sing at night?  OMG it is horrendous – to us.  To the cats that she is calling, it is the sweetest music in the world.

If you are a woman entrepreneur and you believe in your products, in the value of your services, then it is your duty to bother people.  It is your duty to keep singing relentlessly until they stop what they are doing and listen to you.

We live in a busy world filled with stimulation.

Be the loudest voice in the crowd!

Walk with honor.

I’ve created The Booty Program to teach my formula for an Indestructible Mind-set.  A mind-set where failure is no longer an option – no matter what.  I’ve learned that the fastest way to train your mind is through your body which is why we activate your willpower through doing squats.  The fact that this also happens to activate your money chakra is an absolute bonus.  This program is about showing up each and every day.  It is about understanding what true commitment looks like in my world of excellence and living to that standard.  The cart is closing this weekend so check it out here.

Death is inevitable darling.  But truly living is a choice.

The Silent Warrior – What About Your Values?

This is my personal truth.

Your life, everything that you see, is created by none other than you.

This is fantastic when you love what you see.  Not so much when you look around and see poor to average results.  Yet you keep shouting from the roof tops that you desire success and that life must be conspiring against you if others have it and you don’t.  You say that you’re just unlucky.  That you were born with a bronze spoon in your mouth.

You watch “The Secret” and you make the vision board and you sit and stare at it all day wishing it into existence.  Nothing.  You say the affirmations over and over again chanting it until the melody of the words drive you nuts.  Nothing.

What is still missing?

Your values.

Until you take the time to figure out which values drive your results, you will not be able to change those and embrace the values necessary for success.

Here are some examples:

You say that you want to be successful but you prefer to relax watching senseless entertainment on TV rather than educating and stimulating yourself with books.

You say you want to get into peak physical shape but you choose sleep over getting up at 4 am to train.

You say you want to be healthy but you choose junk food over raw foods.

You say you want to build a business that contributes to the world in a magnificent way but you choose to consume rather than produce.

As long as you value sleep above training, you will stay out of shape.  As long as you value relaxation above education you will remain in the clutches of the average masses.  As long as you value consuming rather than producing you will be a locust which results in scarcity, not abundance.  And you’ll be broke.

So what are some of the values that drive the most successful entrepreneurs?

  • Bravery. Understand that being an entrepreneur involves being willing to try things that others deem impossible or risky.  It involves living a life where fear is a compass for growth and being brave enough to follow this because the fire in your heart is greater than the fear in your belly.
  • Vision. An entrepreneur takes the time to understand her purpose and where she is taking her life through the vehicle of her business.  She understands that in order for her to continue moving forward, she needs a point of reference to aim for.
  • Respect for self and others. Respect for one’s self and others is essential. It enables the individual to appreciate her efforts, relate effectively to family and community, and motivate others. This respect, which stems from pride, hope, and enthusiasm, frees entrepreneurs from the obstacles of low self-esteem, hopelessness, and anger.
  • Trust. Trust is an indispensable part of growing your company especially when in a service based industry.  And I’m not just referring to your customers trusting you.  You need to trust yourself.  You need to trust your vision and you capabilities no matter what the current circumstances look like.  In my life I also trust the Universe to support me as without this support, I wouldn’t even attempt half of the amazing accomplishments I have in my life.
  • Grit. An entrepreneur requires the determination to keep a business strong and keep driving forward relentlessly to bring about success.  Grit, which stems from persistence, realism, and consistency, strengthens your mind and ensures that you are continuously on your A game long after others have given up.

It’s time to take an honest look at what is going on in your life and which values are driving your results.  It’s time to put the vision board to one side and make a results board first.

I hate to say it, but maybe it’s just time to stop being a lazy ass.

Because death is inevitable, but thriving is a choice.

Walk with honor.

Don’t Do This If You Want to Lock Potential Customers…

By Susan Jacobs

Filled with excitement to start the new year, in the first days of January, I was looking for any signs to indicate what kind of year lay ahead. Although not overly superstitious, I do dabble looking for hidden messages, coincidences, or ‘God Winks,’ as author Squire Rushnell call’s them.

So on Monday, January 4, getting a potential new business call before 11:00 a.m. was invigorating. A few minutes later I received a call from a normal seeming area code which my gut told me was a solicitation, but I answered anyway. It was offering a free 90-minute European facial. Yeah!!  Had it been any other day of the year, most likely I wouldn’t have answered, or declined and gotten off the phone quickly.

But I took this as a sign of positive new year energy, and that all things abundance would be coming my way; I bought into the sales pitch.  Of course, the sales lady said the free facial had no strings attached and they wouldn’t try to hard sell me anything.  Their only interest was spreading the love for their services as they were just launching in the States and, if I liked it, they hoped I’d make referrals.  From a career in marketing and branding, I understand that tactic, and should have definitely known they were full of shit!

With an appointment booked for a few days later, I went about my business with a little more bounce in my step.

On the day of my facial, I considered canceling the appointment but decided to indulge in the experience, take a break from the 24/7/365 life of an entrepreneur, and go for it.

The midtown spa was sparkling clean.  I was taken to a very well-lit treatment room by Sandra, a beautiful young woman with, of course, perfect skin. When I found out she was in her early 20s I didn’t feel so bad!

Sandra explained that she would take a picture of my skin with a special magnifying camera to gauge what was really going on.  Mind you, my skin is good and happily, people always think I’m about ten years younger than I am.  Some of this no doubt is genes, but I also attribute it to always drinking lots of water, doing yoga, and taking cold showers.

But, a picture speaks 1,000 words!  There it was, my under layer of skin — dehydrated, broken capillaries, clogged pores, I tuned out there.  I was a perfect candidate for spa treatments, aka, a ripe target for a full throttle sales pitch.

When I laid down, Sandra explained the product was from Israel, with crushed diamonds, plant stem cells, and all sorts of other tasty sounding ingredients.  First she would do half of my face, then take another picture to compare, and then do the other side.  Sounded good, and the treatment felt great.  Heaven, a free facial.

Our dialogue went something like this:

“A beautiful woman like you must be married,” she said.

“No, I’m happily divorced, and single.  So how much does this stuff cost?” I asked.

“Don’t worry, I’ll tell you everything after.”

“But is it expensive?”

“No, we’ll discuss later, just relax.”

With the first half of my face done, Sandra took another photo and of course, there was a noticeable difference both when looking in the mirror, and at the photo.

And then it began.  She asked, “Can you afford $200 a month in your budget?

“No, but out of curiosity, what would that get me?”

Twelve products that will last for 18 months, delivered in what looked like a James Bond spy case. And yes, they were the very same fabulous products she used on me.

“OK, let me talk to my boss and see if there’s anything better we can do.”

Sure, no problem, I’m always up for a game of negotiation.  I was left in the room for some time, with only half my face done.  Then there was a knock on the door which I found strange given it was her treatment room.

And there it was…  A hot, sexy guy with big puppy dog eyes walked in, sat down with his piece paper and pen, and batted his twinkling eyes, which sent me into a fantasy frenzy.

He took me through some insane circular, money calculating, guilt tripping equation that made me spin.

Next thing I knew, it was $127 per month for 18 months for all the products and a monthly facial and anything else the esthetician thought I may need at no extra cost, and he’d throw in this and that which I didn’t even understand.

“This works out to less than $4 day, isn’t your skin worth it? And this offer is only good for the remainder of today.  If you call me tomorrow it will be $300/month.”

Dang, he pulled the ‘how can you not love yourself enough to do this for your middle-aged skin that’s only gonna get worse’ guilt card. The, ‘that’s less than you probably spend a day at Starbucks’ manipulation card.

Had I been married, would they have sent in the same sales person or would it have been an old lady with fabulous, youthful skin?

Hot guy kept at it, and next thing I knew he was offering a line of credit with 0% interest and no payment due for the first 40 days so I could cancel at any time.

I wanted to bolt but only half of my face was done — a great way to ensure a captive audience!  Finally after what felt like an hour but was probably only 10 minutes, I got him leave me with my head spinning.

Sandra went to town on the rest of my face while I tried to recover. I hadn’t experienced the assault and battery sales tactic for a long time.  Naively or not, I honestly thought in this day of brand authenticity, building trust with your prospective customers, the viral speed at which a bad review could travel, I believed the hard-sell was a thing of the past.

When it was over, Sandra said if I liked the treatment would I please refer friends who would want a free facial.  Seriously?  She was in the room with me and hot guy (and that’s probably a good thing!) and saw what went down.

When I walked out of the treatment room, there he was.  Waiting like a hungry animal about to kill its prey.  “It will just take 5 minutes to see if you pre-qualify for the line of credit,” he said.

“I’m late for a meeting.”

“Let’s just take the minute and then you can take the case of product and you’re set.”

Slow down bucko… I ain’t taking no case, but my will power didn’t get me to walk right out. Of course, I pre-qualified for the line of credit but then really bolted out the door, without the James Bond case.

The noise in my head was at volume 10 — ‘it’s only $127, it’s only money, once your skin goes you can’t reverse it… and on and on.’

I stopped in Sketchers to see what I looked like in a different mirror. Damn, my skin looked amazing.  ‘Go back, don’t go back – get on the train and go home. Go back, no don’t,’ said the dueling voices in my head.

My smart feet got me to the subway station and luckily a train was just pulling in. The conflict of what I should do was raging but I held strong and the doors closed with me inside.

The spa would have gotten me as a customer for 18 months at their asking price, with maybe a little more negotiating, but this experience left me exhausted, pissed off, and having lost time over nonsense in my busy schedule.  Assault and battery sales tactics are not the way to go and they’re a thing of the past.

Seduce your potential customer, leave them hungry for more, deliver on your promise, show them you understand their needs, respect their intelligence, that’s how you’ll earn their trust and business, and develop a mutually beneficial, hopefully long-term relationship.

I’d love your comments and please feel free to share if you enjoyed this post.  Thanks! I can be found at www.bluezanwrites.com

 

The Silent Warrior – The Ghosts of Dreams Unlived

This is my personal truth.

Death.  A reality which still drives fear into the hearts of most people.  I don’t even think they remember why they fear death except maybe it is the unknown.

It is this same fear which seems to keep most people immobilized when it comes to living a meaningful life.  We are programmed for misery.  Research now shows that people are wired to look at the negative.  A wire which the media has caught on to leading to us being bombarded with drama, tragedy, misery, suffering.  So failure and unhappiness has become the norm for a great many people.  And with familiarity comes a sense of safety.

I often wonder what happens to all their ideas, all their dreams.  Are they walking beside them – heads hanging low, energy dragging behind as they march through life.  Death in the realm of the living.  Can you imagine the immense pain those souls are experiencing?  Feeling the cold fingers of potential reaching out to them but the ego fearing that which it is not familiar with and so rather choosing a life of existence above the possibility of thriving.

Every now and again I will meet a brave soul who raises her hand and says “Yes, I will stand up for my dreams.  I will take a chance on my ideas and stand out from the crowd.”  Every now and again I have the fortune of witnessing that soul persevering throughout challenges, throughout the pain of being left by her loved ones, throughout the ridicule and uncertainty and her own fears of the unknown and she will fly!  These are the souls who uplifts the energy of the world for all.

Yet these souls are the minority.  So often I meet a brave soul who raises her hand but she has yet to find her grit.  She has yet to embrace the passion of life fiercely and refuse to give up no matter what.  She has yet to dig her feet in and face her own fears, understanding that they have no power over her except for the power she gives them.  So she backs down.  Her dreams fade into ghosts and they are dragged behind her, silent tears flowing knowing that they will never see the light again.

Life is all about choices.  Today, right now, you get to choose.   You get to choose if you are going to raise your hand and say yes to your dreams.  You get to choose if you are going to keep your hand raised no matter what life throws at you knowing that God would never have given you the dream without the potential, the strength, the immense power that it will require to live that dream.  You get to choose whether or not you believe that though.  You get to choose whether or not you believe in yourself despite your current circumstances.

I have yet to meet a brave soul who said YES with determination to succeed no matter what who ended up failing.  That is simply not a possibility.

Death is inevitable darling.  Living is a choice.

Walk with honor.

Achievers are not born.  They are made.  They surround themselves with the people who supports them on their journey understanding that to go far they cannot walk alone.  If you are ready to walk part of your journey with me, book a free discovery session.  Because I have raised my hand to be that person who guides the brave to their finish lines.  That is my purpose and I live it with complete faith and joy.  I look forward to witnessing your dreams lived.

The Silent Warrior – Change Your Behavior

This is my personal truth.

You hear it all the time:  people proclaiming to the world that they want to be successful.  In fact, I don’t think I’ve ever heard anyone say that it is their dream to be an epic failure at everything they attempt in life.  I have never met a person who told me that they want to be mediocre.

Yet when I look around me and see people’s behavior, I’m reminded of the movie Groundhog Day.  Reliving the same day over and over and expecting a different outcome.

If you are sitting down and taking a good look at your life, and you’re not satisfied with the way it is shaping, today is the day to start questioning your routine and improve it.

First things first – there are no victims in life.  Things happen.  They don’t happen to you so stop feeling sorry for yourself every time life throws you a curve-ball.  Stay resolved and keep the course.

Second – you can’t get anywhere unless you choose a specific location.  It is insane to keep drifting through life hoping that you will stumble across Eutopia, especially if you have not even taken the time to figure out what that would truly look like for you.

Third – there is no true happiness to be found in ‘winning the lottery, never working again and sitting on the beach each day sipping cocktails’.  That is a lie given to you by a mediocre society who is trying to strip away your passion, your purpose, your drive, the very thing that gives your life meaning.

Instead, embrace these winning structures that elite performers continue to use understanding the power of focus:

  1. Set specific goals.  You’ve heard it a thousand times before.  A goal has to be Specific, Measurable, Actionable, Realistic and Timed.  You need to understand the exact result you want and by when.
  2. Understand the purpose of the goal.  Your big why will keep you on track every time things don’t go as planned.  And they never do.  If you feel like giving up or your motivation is sliding, go back to your big why and make it bigger.  Start considering the impact achieving your goal will have on your life.  The impact not achieving your goal will have on your life.  The person you will become in the process of achieving this goal.  Why this is important to you.  What is the impact of your goal having on those around you and why is that important to you.
  3. Ditch the distractions.  Over-eating, under eating, excessive TV or movies or video games, partying with your friends every week-end, going to bed late, all of these are examples of distractions.  These are the things that have been created to numb your mind and keep you in a trance of existence which kills your drive.  A focused and driven person understands the power of taking care of themselves in order for them to perform on a high level including diet, training and sufficient sleep.
  4. Leave the naysayers.  Easier said than done especially if those are the people closest to us.  Yet I have learned that they don’t have to understand me.  They don’t have to approve of what I do.  As long as I believe in what I’m doing, as long as my passion burns strong, I don’t need the approval or support of others.  In fact naysayers prove to me that I’m pushing the envelope, that I’m prepared to stretch beyond the norm.  Bliss!
  5. Invest in your circle of genius.  You become like the average of the 5 people you spend most of your time with.  If you want to become more successful, you need to invest your time with successful people.  Be that a mentor, a coach, a mastermind or your friends.  Ensure they uplift your energy and keep you on track even when things get challenging.
  6. Embrace the freedom of routine.  Yes freedom.  Not having to worry about making petty decisions all the time frees up your mind and your energy to focus on what matters.  My routine includes 5 meals a day.  I am in bed by 8:30 pm to get up at 5 am.  My first hour of the day is dedicated to my mind-set including meditation, journaling and affirmations.  Next is my physical power through training.  Breakfast to fuel.  Starting my day at work and focusing with breaks to stay fresh.  Most days I have a 30 minute power nap in the afternoon for a second wind.  I read minimum one hour each day on personal and business growth.  Supper is at the table with my family, no TV allowed.  Bubble bath with candles to unwind and prep my mind for tomorrow.  The result is high drive, determination, focus and achievement.
  7. Choose happiness every day.  Life is way too short to be miserable.  It drains you of your energy and can never have positive results in your life.  Instead choose to be happy.  Make this choice every day regardless of what yesterday looked like.  There is so much energy in joy.  Just try it – right now, smile!  It’s like a light switch that uplifts everything.  Powerful.

Don’t believe the lies any longer.  Don’t believe the lies of happiness in doing nothing.  Of people having to like you in order for you to be happy and fulfilled.  True happiness and fulfillment comes from living your purpose in a way which is completely supported by the Universe and which brings you a sense of satisfaction each day because of the impact that you’ve had on those who are watching you quietly from the side.

Live to inspire, not expire.

Remember that death is inevitable.  But truly living is a choice.

Walk with honor.

If you need some assistance in getting focused or deciding on that big goal which will have you on fire, drop me a mail at anel@anelbester.com or check out my services and book a free discovery call today.

 

Do You Want to Create Unforgettable Brand Messaging?

By Susan Jacobs

For us entrepreneurs, coaches, small business owners, solopreneurs, and consultants, our business success relies heavily on how well we communicate the message of what we do, who we are, how we add value to potential clients and customers, and ‘why us over our competition.

Brand messaging is the underlying value proposition we convey, and how we get it across; the words, tone, and overall language we use in our content. It’s what helps people relate to us, helps us earn their trust, and is what inspires, persuades, and motivates them to buy from us.

STORYTELLING MATTERS

People have the attention span of a gnat and get confused easily so our messaging must be crystal clear, understandable, and get across our promise, our story, and our essence succinctly, simply, and quickly.

When you explain what you do, is the response, “Oh so you do X,” when in fact, what you were trying to convey was “Y?”  If so, back to the brand messaging drawing board.

My name is Susan. That’s how I introduce myself.  Why do some people then decide to call me Sue?  If my name were Sue, I would have said so.  It’s the same thing with your brand messaging.  It needs to convey exactly who you are, why you do what you do, and how it is of value to your clients and customers.

To stand out from your competition, create intrigue and curiosity. Tell a compelling story.

START WITH YOUR ‘WHY’

The best brand messaging earns the trust of your ideal client/customer, and establishes a long-term, mutually beneficial relationship with them.  As Simon Sinek says in his book, “Start With Why,” “People don’t buy what you do, they buy why you do it.”

So how do you stand out when oodles of other companies or individuals do the same type of work as you?

If you’re any type of coach, and today it seems everyone is either a coach or working with a coach(!), it’s not your training that makes you stand out. Have you ever been asked by a potential client where you got certified? Most likely no. They’re buying your story, your transformation, what got you where you are, the belief that you understand what they need. Today, the more transparent, honest, and filled with stories of triumph over obstacles, the better. They buy why you do what you do, they don’t buy what you do.

Professional and life experience, your promise, credibility, testimonials, work samples, and wisdom all matter.

PEOPLE BUY WHEN THEY’RE TOUCHED EMOTIONALLY & RATIONALLY

The best success a brand can have is when it touches its ideal customer/client emotionally and rationally.  Dig deep and find a way to tap that. They want to feel, but their mind also needs to buy into it. When you can tap into this sweet spot, they’ve drank your Kool-Aid so like any relationship, do everything possible to maintain that level of trust.

Consider these tips when developing your brand messaging:

IT’S NOT ABOUT YOU; IT’S ABOUT YOUR POTENTIAL CUSTOMERS/CLIENTS

Know who they are, know their pain points and problems, and how you can solve them. What’s in it for them?  Why should they buy into you? How will your product or services enhance, simplify, or enrich, their life and/or business?  When going on about how fabulous you are and how much you’re business is needed, continually ask yourself, “So what?” “Why does that matter to them?”

Make “It’s not about me, it’s about my customer,” your mantra. You’ve climaxed when you can clearly say, “We offer…” and “You get…”

“IF YOU CAN’T EXPLAIN IT TO A SIX-YEAR-OLD, YOU DON’T UNDERSTAND IT YOURSELF.” – Albert Einstein

Be human. Be real. Be authentic (excuse this highly overused word but it does say it so well). Be you.

Keep it simple. If people can’t remember, understand, or repeat the message, it’s not clear.  If it’s not clear, it will be out of your prospect’s mind.  And once out of their mind, it’s very hard to get them back.

Lose the buzzwords, lose the fluff, find the voice that resonates with all that your brand represents. If you are your business and the only face on your website, use the first person, not third person, not ‘we.’

What is your brand personality — spunky, formal, conservative, edgy, sassy?  Use the tone that’s most appropriate to who you’re trying to reach in your marketing materials and on your website, provided it rings true to your overall brand.

When you have a detailed picture of your ideal client/customer, then you’ll know the best way to speak in order to make a lasting connection with them.

TRUST IS BUILT WITH CONSISTENCY… 

This is so important. Be consistent across all platforms. This includes LinkedIn profiles, Facebook business pages, all marketing, public relations, communications, and digital materials.  If you’re consistent people believe you.  If you’re not, they don’t know what to think.  A confused prospect, or existing client/customer, is a lost opportunity.

Please feel free to reach out if you have any questions or comments.

Susan JacobsBIO

I’m a world traveler, salsa dancing, yoga practicing, wanna-be Buddhist, and perpetual work-in-progress.  I believe we are co-creators of our lives and that anything is possible when we get out of our own way.  Giving voice to things that matter, sharing stories, and spreading ideas is my heart and soul.

For-hire, I’m a copywriter, content developer, and on- and off-line marketing strategist working with coaches that are looking to make the world a better place through human evolution. The strongest selling point and differentiator for your as a coach is your personal journey and transformation. As a wordsmith, I make sure that your essence is conveyed to speak directly to your idea client, that your content and marketing are in alignment with the high quality of the product of services you offer, and are consistent across the board – website, blogs, newsletters, LinkedIn, and PR and branding materials.

I specialize in cutting through the noise and clutter with authentic, engaging, easily accessible content. From a 25-year career in PR, marketing, and branding I’m able to work to look at all aspects of your business and brand and provide a ‘fresh’ perspective, as an outsider, who creates content that anyone can understand.

I’m a contributing author to the recently published book “Pain, Purpose, Passion: That Was Then, This Is Now,” and my personal essays have appeared in FourTwoNine Magazine, Aquarian Times, Spirituality & Health, PR Week, and IndieWire. I’m working on her first memoir about my holistic healing journey through a hyperthyroid and Graves’ disease for The Round House Press. I’m also a guest blogger for Yogic Living and Identity Magazine. I live in Brooklyn and can be found at:

Website | LinkedIn | Twitter

To join my tribe of kick-ass women like Susan who is on a mission to impact the world with their own unique talents and in their unique style come over to Get Out Of Your Head.

Don’t Take A Minute For Granted

By Julia Fischer

Isn’t it sometimes weird, the fact that we think we have so much time? That we so often tend to shift everything around and postpone every other event and appointment?

I wanna tell you a story about a friendship and the moment in my life where I stopped to take every minute for granted and started to enjoy every moment with the people I am blessed with in my life even more.

We met in our early teenager years. We were best friends, almost like soulmates.  Spending almost every minute together and when we weren’t able to meet we would always talk on the phone or text each other.  There wasn’t a single thing we didn’t know about each other.

But as life goes we grew older and moved into different directions. Meeting new people, doing new things, you name it.

When I was about twenty I left home to go and spend some time in Australia.  I’ve had the most amazing time of my life, though it also was a very difficult time.  Learning for the first time of my life what it’s like living in another world, where everything is the complete opposite to the things you’re used to (more good than bad actually) you also do a lot of thinking. Thinking of what life had brought me so far, the people that have crossed my way and why everything always turns out as it does, good and bad.

Returning home after 6 month I felt a huge flash of overwhelm.

It was not long after when I suddenly saw my friend’s name on Facebook and thought: ‘Oh that is great, I really have to add him and maybe we can go get a drink and just catch up about the last few years we haven’t spoken and see what we’re up to.’

But, as you already know, we are all so busy so I didn’t manage to add him that day.

There is always a next day, right!?

A few days later (let it be 2 or 3 days) I stumbled across another friends post (I have to mention here I’m not a big feed reader so this was kind of a big coincidence, or some may call it destiny) which was actually a condolence post and as I kept reading I figured out that it was about my friend.

So here we are. We, who think have so much time left to just postpone everything to the next day, because this day will definitely come.

But what makes us so sure that tomorrow will come?

See, my friend was 22 when he died. He was an athlete and the most positive human I’ve had known at that point. Someone told me later that he even made some fun on the litter on the way to the hospital. That was just how he was, always seeing the good things and cheering everybody up.

No-one saw it coming. Because people don’t die at 22 from a broken ankle.

And yet they do, because they’re suffering from a genetic defect that no-one has yet diagnosed.

If there is one thing I can give you to take along then please never ever hesitate to call an old friend or family member you miss. If there is something you always wanted to do your entire life go do it. See a nice woman/man? Go invite her/him for dinner. Got something to say? Speak it out.

You never know what tomorrow will bring. So please whatever it is, do it now or now might never comes.

Julia FisherAbout Julia

Julia Fischer is a health coach who help women  overcome eating disorders (like binge,-emotional eating), as well as gain back their self-esteem and how they can integrate more whole food into their lives.

You can find her on facebook, twitter and instagram @blossomyoursoul and her website www.blossomyoursoul.com

 

To join my tribe of kick-ass women like Susan who is on a mission to impact the world with their own unique talents and in their unique style come over to Get Out Of Your Head.