Committed – either you are or you’re not

My arms are shaking.

My chest is aching.

I look at the load.

Do I take some off?

Do I reduce the reps?

What to do?

Oh fuck off, you and I both know that’s not even an option LOL.

Yet as I eye out the weights stacked I can’t help but think how easy it would be to fall into that way of thinking.  That way of operating.  That way of negotiating my life moment by moment to make it a little easier.

That’s what I see most people do.

That’s what I used to do.

Here’s the thing Darling,

When I made a commitment to stop existing and to start thriving, I meant it.

All the way.

I believe in my heart that how we do one thing, we do everything.

Which means if I can break my commitments to myself in one area of life, no matter how insignificant it might seem, I will break my commitments elsewhere in my life too.

Not going to happen.

Instead, I commit prior to starting anything what I’m going to give of myself, what I’m going to achieve, not negotiable.

Even though in my journal it’s written in ink, in my heart it’s written in blood.

And I do it.

Or I walk away from it.

I don’t say tomorrow.

I decided this morning I was going to do chest, shoulders and arms.  Max push 12 reps, min push 8 reps per set.

I committed to the weight at the out-start of each exercise.

No negotiating along the way.

Hurt.

Curse.

Sweat.

Achieved.

Done.

This is how I choose to live my life.

It makes for a seriously reduced workload every day.

If you look at my daily planner there’s a max 10 outcomes I commit to each day (I say max as it rarely goes beyond 6).  That includes every area of my life.  My soul.  My family.  My fitness.  My business.  If it’s not on there it’s not a priority in my life.  If it’s not completed by the end of the day I sacrifice all the good it could have brought into my life.  No carrying over.

Reduce your list!

Trust me when I say to you that you’ll only walk away once.

Then you will get your act together and either start committing to less or start doing more.

Commitment matters.

It’s about keeping your word to yourself more than anyone else.

I believe that if you can’t trust yourself you will never play at full pace.

I believe that if you can’t trust yourself you will never take the risks that could lead to epic adventures.

I believe that if you can’t trust yourself you will only ever exist.

It’s about owning your shit.

I confess that there was a time when I lacked serious commitment.  And it showed up everywhere in my life.

In my body.  In my relationships.  In my business.

It was disgusting.

I hated every moment.

Mostly because I couldn’t meet the eyes in the mirror.

Is there any pain greater than self loathing?

I think not.

It’s about honouring yourself and in the process you will honour everyone else.

Today I embrace commitment fully in my life.

I never doubt my word.

Which is interesting when others try and put their shit onto me asking for guarantees that I will push through.

Here’s my gift to you today Darling – where are you betraying yourself that you feel the need for guarantees from others?

Hurts like a mother I know, but if we’re not prepared to start looking in the mirror we will never free ourselves from our bullshit.

For me, personally, I don’t ask for guarantees from anyone.

I don’t give a rat’s ass if you offer a money back guarantee.

In fact, please don’t even suggest it to me.  Nobody and nothing can guarantee results except for ME.

If I choose to invest in something, I also choose to commit to getting results regardless of what the product or service promises.

The bus stops with me.

Because I know I’m a badass manifesting creative rock star who will always receive what I truly desire and work my ass off for.

Including results from working with my coach.

This level of commitment is the most empowering piece I can possibly offer you!

No longer do you have expectations of others to do the shit that you think you can’t do by yourself.

No longer do you feel disappointed because it just didn’t work the way you had painted in your head.

No longer will you walk past the mirror without making eye contact with your brilliant self.

No longer will you make empty promises and not follow through.

No longer will you play at 50%.

THAT is worth the shaking arms.

THAT is worth the aching pecs.

Commitment.

In everything.

Regardless how small.

I invite you today to start paying attention to your levels of commitment in everything that you do.

How you choose to eat.

How you choose to show up in your relationships.

How you choose to do business.

How you choose to pray.

How you choose to train.

How you choose to dress.

All of it.

There is no right or wrong here.  It’s just about becoming aware of what you said to yourself when you wrote down your goals, when you wrote down what you will no longer tolerate, when you wrote down your values – the stuff you said you were committed to.

Become curious and have fun wit this.

Keep a sense of humour because I can almost guarantee in the beginning you’re going to be gobsmacked to see how you cheat yourself on a daily basis.

It’s simply not worth it.

Not if you want to thrive.

It was my experience that existence was worse than death.

But what do I know?

I don’t know how committed you are to thrive.

Do you?

With love eternal,

Anel

PS:  Are you ready to start strengthening your commitment?  Are you ready to dip that sexy toe in and see what it feels like to commit for 30 days?  Then maybe you want to get started with my free 30 day Core Confidence Challenge.  Working your abs, your mindset and your resolve.  Daily workouts with powerful affirmations, goal setting, and more.

 

 

 

I was only going to warm up for 5 minutes but…

It’s going to be one of those days…

I feel it in my bones.

Which is why I really shouldn’t have been surprised when I got onto the stationery bike for a 5 minute warmup

only to find myself getting off more than an hour later

dripping sweat

pumping

thriving.

I shouldn’t be surprised because this weekend I sat down and wrote down pages and pages of what is no longer acceptable to me.

Mediocrity in ANY form is no longer acceptable to me.

In ANY form.

Especially from myself.

I’m done settling for ‘trying my best’

I’m done settling for ‘next week’

I’m done settling.

Which means everything I choose to do, I will do to the point of thrive or not at all.

Black or white baby

Black or white.

Which makes it even more frustrating for me to see so many brilliant people still just playing at half mast.

Why?

What’s the purpose?

What’s the purpose of doing anything if you’re not going to give it your all?

And quite frankly I feel the reason why most people dabble is because they want EVERYTHING that everyone else seemingly has without eliminating the virus of average.

Long gone are the days where mastery was honoured.

Now everyone wants to be a Jack of All Trades.

They want to be successful within three months because heaven forbid they should dedicate ten years to their craft without becoming a millionaire.

At what cost?

I see people exhausted from piling way too much shit onto their plates which really is nothing more than distractions from what’s at their core.

Their purpose.

Their passion.

Their zone of excellence.

When did it become okay to settle?

When did we lose the plot?

When did we start wanting to be everything to everyone else and nothing to ourselves?

I see people shoving chemicals and fake food into their mouths because their bodies are starving for real nourishment.

New diseases are brought to light every single day.  New diseases that require new medication.

Am I seriously the only one wondering about this?

The fact that the medical industry is making a killing from people dying????

Seriously?

I see people give and give and give because they feel like they are not good enough.  That they are not loveable for just who they are.  That they have to lie to themselves and give up their dreams, their soul desires, in the hope that they will be liked.

Except it’s killing them to the point where they take an overdose of pills or jump off a building because mentally they can’t cope with the betrayal of themselves.

I see all of this and I get on that stationery bike and I start pumping my legs because my purpose, my passion, is a unstoppable source of energy that won’t let me stop.

I see all of this and I look at my life and I ask, where can I change, where can I step up, where can I do better?

Because I don’t expect anyone else to do it for me.

I don’t need anyone else to inspire me or keep me motivate.

It’s all on me.

For I have come to understand that in order for me to bring any healing to this world, it has to start with me.

If I desire to uplift standards of excellence, it has to start with mine.

I’m owning my shit.

How about you Sunshine?

Are you owning yours?

Are you taking the time to look at your life and decide what you will no longer tolerate?

What your new standards of excellence are?

I know in my heart that if you’re in my space, if you’re reading my work, you were born to be a leader.  You were born to bring change.  You were born to create.

Well it’s time to start leading, changing, creating, and it starts with you.

Are you prepared to leave behind mediocrity?

To clear your plate from all the bullshit cluttering and eating up your time so that you can dedicate your life to being the best version of yourself?

It’s not selfish!

It’s vital for your thrive.

And ultimately isn’t that what you crave more than anything else?

To stop waking up in the morning with a heavy weight pushing down on your chest because it’s going to be another average day responding to other people’s drama?

To wake up in the morning with a smile and a heart bursting with gratitude because every single activity on your calendar fills your cup?

That’s what a life of thrive feels like.

Are you ready to thrive?

For death is inevitable Darling.  Please stop killing yourself in the process.

Today you can choose to thrive.

Choose to thrive.

With love eternal,

Anel

PS:  If you know anything about me you know that one of my passions is moving my body.  Why?  Because exercise literally saved my life!  It is part of my foundation.  Daily training is a non-negotiable for me.  It’s as important as breathing.  Now I could go on and on educating you on the benefits of training, but you’re a smart cookie so let’s not do that.  Instead I do want to invite you to join Yoga With Anel – a free site that I’ve created for you.  Each week I will load a new training session for you to get you started in a fun way.  Don’t expect traditional yoga classes – I’m not good in doing traditional anything.  Instead this is me sharing my workouts with you – Eminem and all.  So sign up today and let’s get started.  The first workout is waiting for you.

 

 

Pity Parties Be-damned!

This blog is not for the faint of heart.

Not for the ones who enjoy feeling sorry for themselves.

Those who thrive in misery.

If that’s where you’re at today, stop reading.

Go scroll on Facebook for some ridiculous image of some sorry ass telling you it’s okay to stay in this space of darkness.

Stop reading right now!

I’m so over the prevalent pity party which seems to be absorbing society.

Toughen

The

Fuck

Up!

You said you wanted it.

You set the goal.

Nobody said it was going to be easy – if they did they were lying to you.

Yes, shit is getting tough for everyone.

that’s the times we chose to live in Sunshine.

Now what the fuck are you going to do about it?

Are you going to sit in that heap and lick your wounds?

Are you going to crawl back into the cupboard and hope that everyone forgets about the grand promises you made?

Of what you were going to achieve?

Why not, right?

How many people do you know who still keep their word?

Who follow through?

Who pushes through?

Who is prepared to die for their dreams?

We have lowered our standards of expectation and it’s bullshit!

You said you’re going to do it – fucking do it.

You get knocked down again and again?

Then rise again and again.

You encounter obstacles every day?

Get creative bitch and figure out a different way to get to the finish line.

You have some assholes in your life who’s weighing you down?

Well then either see it as resistance training and get stronger from it or cut the ties and walk away.

You’re not attached to anyone!

The umbilical cord was cut at birth.

It’s the last quarter of the year and I see people getting tired everywhere.  And with exhaustion setting in, they are sitting their asses down.  They are feeling sorry for themselves.  They are giving up and waiting for another new year to come along so they can set the new resolutions.

Oh please.

I’m so done with people and their empty promises to themselves.

Next year will be different.

Next year I will start facing my money situation and do the budget.

Next year I will start eating clean.

Next year I will start training insane.

Next year I will take care of my own needs.

Next year I will have kick-ass friends.

Next year I will….

Blah Blah Blah

Fuck next year.

You still have this year!

You still have today!

Let me tell you something Darling, if you’re not prepared to make the changes right here right now, if you’re not willing to energetically shift your expectations for yourself right here right now, if you’re not willing to stop tolerating bullshit right here right now, you won’t do it next year either.

That’s just you fooling yourself.

If you’re serious about change,

if you’re serious about success,

if you’re serious about living an iconic life,

sit your sexy ass down right now and COMMIT to it with your soul.

Write down what you are no longer willing to tolerate:

toxic relationships, toxic food, toxic social media, toxic work, flabby boundaries, flabby abs, flabby ass, flabby prayers.

Write down your new standards of excellence:

in your relationships, in your food, in your choice of mind-food and soul food, in your work, in your boundaries, in your body, in your prayers.

DONE!

Now fucking live it.

Every single day.

Not all days will be equal.  Some will feel all so easy and natural.  Others you’ll find yourself sliding backwards to your old ways of thinking and doing, your old friendships, your old bullshit excuses.

Those are the days that you pull out your lists and you recommit.

You do whatever it takes.

You show the fuck up for yourself.

You show up for those you love.

You show up for those you are here to impact.

No more excuses.

NO MORE EXCUSES!

Everyone gets tired.

Everyone hurts.

Everyone cries.

The only question you need to answer for yourself is if you desire to stand up and be the goddamned leader you came here to be or if you want to go and bleat with the other sheople.

What do you take a stand for?

What do you believe?

What did you come here to do?

It’s time Darling to raise your standards for yourself and everyone in your energetic space.  It’s time for you to stop fart-assing around and to start making an impact.  It’s time for you to THRIVE!

Yes, when you choose to finally step forward into the light as your true badass self, you thrive.

Because it’s what you were born to do.

Stop believing the lie of weakness.

YOU are an all-powerful soul.

YOU are co-creating EVERYTHING you see in your life.

You are THAT powerful.

Weakness is an illusion.

In yourself

and everyone else.

Stop treating people as if they are victims.

There are no victims.

But as long as we treat each other as if we have no power, as if we have to stay down, as if we are stuck, we are solidifying the bullshit.

I see you!

I see your power!

I see your magnificence!

That’s what fuels my passion.  Even when I get tired.  Even when I hurt.  Even when I rage against Creator because I’m sick and tired of climbing the never-ending mountain and I’m terrified of heights to boot.

And when my sobbing has died down and I wipe off the tears, I hear the voice saying “Your choice:  stay down or rise”

Always my choice.

Even from God.

So I choose to rise!

I choose to keep taking one more step higher up to the top.

I choose to face my demons and my fears and to believe in myself regardless of what everyone else might say.

They don’t know me.

They don’t know how strong my mind is.

Indestructible Baby!

They don’t know the sacrifices I am prepared to make.

They don’t know what I am prepared to die for.

My pain is my power.

My human emotions are my fuel.

My victory will be mine and mine alone.

I choose to thrive!

How about you Darling?

Only death is inevitable.  And quite frankly even that is an illusion.

With love eternal,

Anel

PS:  There’s always a time in our lives when we have to make choices.  Choices regarding what we’re prepared to tolerate.  Choices regarding our standards for ourselves and everyone else.  Choices regarding our aspirations.  Which can be challenging when you’re caught in the middle of your old stories, your old ways of thinking, your old habits.  This is why I believe in the power of coaching.  Why I’ve dedicated my life to study human psychology and behaviour – both academically and real life.  Why I continue to work with coaches to keep reaching higher myself, living outside of my comfort zone.  I have been privileged to coach some of the most unbelievable, relentless achievers from entrepreneurs to CEO’s to athletes.  Born leaders, change bringers, healers, artists and creatives in their own right.  Each and every one of them have impacted me deeply, have fuelled my passion, my belief in humanity and manifestation of potential.  Are you hungry for achievement?  I mean really hungry.  I’m talking salivating for that moment of personal breakthrough and elation.  I’m talking about “Death Before DNF” levels of passion.  Are you ready to be supported 100% of the way even when you just want me to go away and leave you alone to sulk?  Are you ready to face your inner demons of delusional weakness?  Are you?  Because if you’re wiping a trickle of spit off your chin right now it’s time for us to connect.  Book your consult here and get ready to go full throttle Sunshine.

When you’re done pretending to be vanilla.

Oh how easily we fall into the trap.

Giving in to the noise that seems so prevalent in todays ‘social’ society.

The comparison.

The jealousy.

Seeing all the ‘overnight’ success stories and wondering what the hell you’re doing wrong.

The feeling of being a total fucking failure.

All the time.

So we give up on our authentic selves.  We overthrow the voices inside our hearts with the cacophony inside our heads.

We dilute our essence and we become

VANILLA

Fuck, I hate vanilla.

I’m sorry, but I do.

I tried being vanilla for a very long time.

I tried liking vanilla for a very long time.

I tried bullshitting myself and everyone else by focussing on all the good of vanilla.

But you know what Darling,

I’m not fucking vanilla!

And I will never be vanilla again.

Please stop asking me to just taste vanilla one more time in case I change my mind.

I won’t.

Oh I get it.

I understand why society wants as many of us to be vanilla as possible.  Because you can add a little bit of strawberry, a little bit of chocolate, a little bit of kiwi, creating the illusion that we have flavour.  But we miss the richness of the purity of the undiluted.

So we’re all a little different.

Yet we miss the burst of our uniqueness.

The sad part for me is that I notice more and more loving people share their insights, wisdom and systems with people with the intention of enriching lives.  Instead of others opening themselves up to the experience of that which is being shared, taking bits and pieces from here, there and everywhere else, going within to remember their truth, their talent, their authentic power and then creating their own work of art, they simply become carbon copies.

From the outside they look like hazelnut.

Except they are not the original.

When you take a bite into the core they are

Vanilla.

Ugh.

Okay Okay I’m guilty as well.

Hey, I’m no different from you.

Just like you I’m also on this journey of self discovery.

I’ve screwed up again and again and again and again!  for me to get to this point where I’m finally falling in love with me, myself and I.  To get to the point where I’m curious all the time, exploring the findings of others to tickle the awakening of my own remembrance.

It’s actually seriously fun.

But then again I’m willing to fail.

Are you?

I know that I have to keep failing, to keep tasting shit that looks like chocolate, to make powerful distinctions for myself.

I wouldn’t want it any other way.

I have a coach (she’s definitely not vanilla) who says that if you’re not willing to fail for your art, for the rest of your life, go find something else to do.  If you want a guarantee of success in order for you to create your art another day, then hang up your brushes.

I agree.

If you’re not willing to bleed for your art for the rest of your life without earning a single dime, then go do something else.  Anything else.  If money is the driving force then go find an easier way to make money.

Go be vanilla.

For those of us who strive to bring our undiluted selves to the world, it can never be about the money.

It can never be about the recognition.

It can never be about the noddy badges.

For what drives us is passion.

The burning desire to share that which is inside of us with the world.  To just put it out there for all to see, for all to criticise, for all to pull apart.

For the chance

The smallest of chances

That maybe

Just maybe

Someone pauses, reads our words, listen to our voices, takes in our paintings,

and smiles.

We create for the one in eight billion who needed what we have to share in that moment and for them to wake the fuck up from the swirl of vanilla and remember their cherry.

That’s what drives me.

Relentlessly.

Weeks go by without a single response.

But the message refuses to be silenced.

She screams out of my fingers.

I have no choice.

For the memory of existence is burned into my frontal cortex for the rest of my life.

It burns me up inside when I look around and see so many people who are addicted to the trance not realising the torture of their creative soul within.

So I get up

I show up

Every fucking day

Even when I get criticised

Even when some stranger publicly posts that my voice irritates her – and I wasn’t even signing at the time

I do it because my soul refuses to let me sleep, refuses to let me give up, refuses to let me become vanilla again.

And then

Every so often

I receive a message that has tears streaming down my cheeks

A couple of line of deep gratitude that my words saved a soul that was rock bottom

and that’s all I need to continue my work.

Not that I’m saying you should be broke.

God knows I’ve had that experience as well – having a complete stranger standing at my door to take away furniture to pay my bills.

Not planning on having that repeated.

Success happens to look way better on me.

My soul agrees.

So as I give I receive.

Deep gratitude to the Universe.

Here is what I want you to know today Darling:

You are unique.  It is that uniqueness that those you are here to serve is salivating for.

They don’t want your vanilla downed version.

They’re bloated from vanilla.

They want you.

Warts and all.

Everyone is sick and tired of photoshopped perfection.

We want human!

Pure, un-fucked with beauty.

They want YOUR words – the way YOU say them.

They want YOUR art – the way YOU create it.

Your people wants YOU!

For the love of all that is chocolate, hazelnut, strawberry, kiwi, blueberry purists STOP PRETENDING TO BE VANILLA!

Fucking nobody can put Baby in the corner.

For death is inevitable.

Thriving is choice – and she doesn’t taste like vanilla.

With love eternal,

Anel

PS:  today we kick off live with FLOW.  This program is designed to heal, to open, to discover, to hear the voice in your heart, the voice of your soul, and to build your business from this place of the authentic you.  I share all I’ve learned in the art of mind-set, business building, affirmations, prayer, meditation, yoga and more to support you in bringing your essence to humanity.  This course is not for you if you’re seeking a cookie cutter approach to life.  It’s not for you if you want to be a diluted version of anything.  It’s going to challenge you.  It’s going to have you show up for yourself in a way that you’ve not done before.  It’s gonna be on helluva ride Darling.  Get started here.

 

 

 

It’s time for next level goals. No more fucking around.

The planets are lining up for your success – the question is are you?

October kicks off with Mars making an ideal angle to Pluto not only supporting you to move forward with your goals, but putting you in the power seat to boot.

Which means October 1st is THE ideal time to set your next level goals.

Clear you diary!

It’s a Sunday.

What better day to start creating your next level thrive?

But here’s what I want to say to you,

PLEASE for all the love in the world stop wasting your time by setting bullshit goals!

Stop setting small goals that don’t inspire jack shit in you.

Stop setting goals that are negotiable.

Stop setting goals that you’re prepared to walk away from.

That’s what the little people do

The minions

The mediocre masses

They take a powerful tool which guarantees transformation, growth, success, and they rip it’s guts out leaving you with a shell distracting you from your mission, leaving you feeling hollow.

It drives me nuts to see magnificent people living mediocre lives because they think they can mess around with manifestation and not pay the price.

They think they can quickly put together something and get epic results.

What you put in is what you get out Darling so why on earth would you set yourself up for failure again and again and again?

Just to make yourself feel bad?

Just to keep yourself stuck?

Just to keep yourself small?

That’s f*&@$#$ bullshit!

ENOUGH AND NO MORE!

YOU are powerful.

YOU are enough.

YOU are magnificent.

YOU have an epic purpose which others are dying to experience.

YOU are worth gold!

So let’s do it properly this time around.

First things first – figure out you core values!

I’m not kidding!

Stop wasting your time by setting goals unless you know what means EVERYTHING to you.

Every time you set goals which are contradicted by your core values, you WILL sabotage yourself along the way.  Guaranteed!

Make sure your values are your own and not your parents.

Make sure your values support you in living an epic live.

Make sure your values are based on your badass rebellious truth instead of the bullshit that you think will make you look good in the eyes of others.

I’m going to give you a heads-up here:  I’ve found that for my soul tribe, creating their art, whatever that may be, is CRUCIAL for thriving.  Before everything else in life.  And yes, we’re called selfish bitches by most others because they’re not our people and they will never understand.  They can kiss your sexy ass.

Have your values?

Good.

Let’s move on.

Next you want to create the vision.

The big vision.

The one where there are ZERO limitations.

EVERYTHING that you desire to be, do or have.

In your spirituality.

In your business.

In your money.

In your lifestyle.

In your relationships.

In your health and fitness.

Write it all out.

Then go back and ask, and what else?

Write it down

Then go back and ask, and what else?

By now your ass should be levitating off the seat, you should be THAT excited, THAT high vibe.

If not, your writing bullshit.

You’re writing other peoples stuff.

Stop it.

Go back to the drawing board.

Once you hit that sweet spot, that spot where you’re howling your excitement pick the three that will make the BIGGEST impact and change in your life.

Ask yourself, are they all in alignment with my core values?

If not, you either need to change your goals or rephrase them in a way that your values will drive you forward every step of the way.

Next you want to solidify those babies with purpose!

NON-NEGOTIABLE STEP!

Write down how your life will change when you’ve achieved this goal.  What will you learn along the way.  Who will you become.  What will you gain.  What shitty habits will you break.  Who else will be impacted and what is that impact.  WHAT IS THE PAIN OF NOT ACHIEVING YOUR GOAL.  No pain?  Drop it! Walk away.  Go back to the drawing board.

When the pain of not achieving your goal is unbearable write down minimum 3 beliefs you will have once you have achieved your goal, write down minimum 3 thoughts that you will have on a daily basis once you’ve achieved your goal, write down minimum 3 emotions you will feel once you have achieved your goal, write down minimum 3 actions you will have to take on a daily basis in order for you to achieve your goal.

That’s one down.

Now repeat the process for the other two goals.

THIS is how we set goals.

The non-negotiable goals.

The goals that awakens the beast inside salivating with hunger for achievement.

Anything else?

Distraction.

Mediocre.

Bullshit.

Do it proper or don’t do it at all.

Does it take 20 minutes?

Hell no Darling.  That’s why I said book out the day!

This is YOUR LIFE!

Is it not worth a day?

Seriously?

Seriously?

As I reviewed my goals thus far for 2017 I have nailed them and nailed them good.

Why?

Because I don’t fuck around with shit that’s negotiable.

I sweat for my goals.

I sacrifice for my goals.

I bleed for my goals.

That’s just how I roll.

And it’s worth it.

For me.

Non-negotiable.

Let me know your goals.

Let me know who you will be a year from now.

Take my breath away with the magnificence of your true vision.

For only death is inevitable.

Thriving is a choice.

With love eternal,

Anel

PS:  Are you looking at your goals and trembling in your stiletto boots?  Good!  Are you ready to receive some kick-ass support in achieving those goals because failure is not an option?  Let’s chat.

 

Have we seriously become a generation of spectators?

This is my personal truth.

Nobody is going to make shit happen for you.

Nobody is going to put you on a pedestal and adore you.

Nobody is going to change the world to suite your idea of peace and love and prosperity.

Nobody is going to discover a magic pill that allows you to eat like a pig and stay in tip top shape.

It ain’t gonna happen Sunshine so wake the fuck up, rub that sleep out of your eyes and start doing it for yourself.

When I look around I see a generation sitting on the sidelines, criticising all who have the courage to be on the actual playing field, willing to take the chances, willing to fall, willing to get dirty, willing to bleed.

I see a generation stuffing their bodies full of chemicals waiting for modern medicine to discover a cure for the diseases they are creating within themselves.

I see a generation who have completely disempowered themselves by believing the bullshit handed down to them that they’re somehow lacking, somehow not smart enough, somehow not good enough, somehow don’t have choices… and instead of proving the motherfuckers wrong, they have given up the fight.

I see people disconnecting from their wisdom, constantly looking for ‘the answer’ that is going to make them successful.

Except they’re not prepared to be a part of the conversation.

They’re not willing to do it differently, creatively.  They wait for the tried and tested.

I think it’s absurd.

And of course I’m not preaching to YOU

Because I know that you’re not a locust mindlessly consuming all in your sight.

Because if you’re reading this, then you’re a goddamned soul warrior here to bring change.

You’re one of the courageous few willing to walk out in front and find your truth, your own answers, your creative way of doing, your thrive.

You’re one of the leaders willing to be part of the conversations that matter.  The stimulating, thought provoking, questioning conversations that brings light to topics which have long since been archived in the darkness of bullshit.

You’re one of the rebels willing to hang your ass out there, willing to love yourself enough to live a healthy lifestyle, willing to be selfish enough to be true to yourself.

It doesn’t mean that it’s easy on the field.

It doesn’t mean that we don’t get tired at times and take a break just to catch our breaths.

It doesn’t mean that we don’t lose our shit when the frustration overwhelms or we just get so tired of hearing the constant booing from the sidelines and we just want to stand in front of a hater and say “Fuck Off!”

We’re human after all.

And we’re filled with passion!

So much passion.

It can’t be contained indefinitely.

It’s impossible.

So it erupts.

I know that personally my passion often gets mislabelled as aggression.

I get told that I should stop screaming so much.

I get told that I should stop cursing so much.

I get told a lot of shit.

But you know what Darling, my passion is red.

My passion is fire.  

My passion is explosive at times.  

My passion is the storm.

So feel my rage!

Hear my voice thundering.

Because you’re either going to get your ass up off that bench and come play with me on the muddy field of life,

or

you’re going to ask me to keep quiet so you can go back to sleep.

Let those who criticise you go back to sleep.

Stop wasting your time and energy on those who don’t desire change.

As far as I’m concerned all those haters who are constantly pissing on your parade have way too much time on their hands because they’re not actively living their own lives!

And of course when you ask them why they’re not training instead of constantly swallowing fat burners, they say because they don’t have time.

When you ask them why they’re not learning something new and interesting with which to enhance their professional lives as they’re constantly complaining of how stuck they are, they say because they don’t have time.

When you ask them why they’re not doing the mindset work which will change EVERYTHING that they don’t adore in their lives, they say because they don’t have time.

Yet they have time to surf the internet for hours looking for someone to hate on.

They have time to watch season after season of some gory series on Netflix.

Isn’t it crazy?

or is it just me?

Darling, today is a day like never before.  Today is an opportunity to do life in a way that you’ve never done it before.  Today is filled with unlimited potential for you to create whatever you want to create.

Stop recreating yesterday out of fear of the spectators.

My question is though, are you going to love yourself enough to see this truth and to make the choices today that has you thriving, or are you going to continue buying into the illusion that has you enslaved to the demands of others?

Are you going to remember who you truly are and create the space in time for introspection and creative thought or are you going to stay busy as a way of sabotaging your greatness?

Please know this as absolute truth:

YOU are perfect

YOU are wisdom

YOU are beautiful

YOU are powerful

YOU are the creator of your own life – all of it

YOU are worth joy

YOU are worth love

YOU are worth success

YOU are enough.

This is the truth that nobody has ever told you because they know that the moment you believe this on a cellular level, you will be a game changer.  You will step into your rightful place as a leader.  You will own your powers and create that which is sorely lacking in a world falling into decay.  

You will rise and you will thrive!

If you’re ready then take the statements of truth above and make them your own.

Go stand in front of the mirror and say out loud:

“I AM perfect.  I AM wisdom.  I AM beautiful.  I AM powerful.  I AM the creator of my own life – all of it.  I AM worthy of joy.  I AM worthy of love.   I AM worthy of success.  I AM ENOUGH!”

Do this for 30 days and see the magic come to life.

I know I know – it’s uncomfortable AF in the beginning.  You feel like a fake.  You feel like an idiot.

Just persevere.

Everything that gets practiced continuously becomes easy.

It WILL be worth it.

You’re too precious to sit on the sidelines.

We need you on the field.

All of you.

You are very loved.

For the only thing guaranteed is death.  Thriving is a choice.

With love eternal,

Anel

PS:  If you’re a creative, a leader, a game changer longing to build an empire that is in complete alignment with your core, then FLOW starts on Monday.  An eight week journey of discovering the beauty of the chakra system in the manifestation of life – yours and your business.  It’s an unlocking of your wisdom through guided prayers and meditation, chakra specific yoga, mind-set work, goal setting, business building structures and processes.  It’s the flow of unrestricted creativity which leads to thriving on your terms, by your definition.  It’s powerful in it’s simplicity.  In addition you will have six months access to a group of soul-preneurs who take the journey with you, who get you, who get the process, who are high vibrational mastermind partners who believe in an abundant Universe which means your success is as important as their success.  We start Monday so if you’re ready to play full out in your life, get the details here.

 

The exquisite power of awareness and conscious choice

Oh dear, this is a little embarrassing.

Letting you into my private ‘hall of shame’.

Because you know, I like to share my shit with you once I’ve figured it all out and have new results to show.

Once I’ve gone through the dark tunnel and I’m jumping in joy in the light.

But not today.

It’s too important for you to wait for me to shift through the entire process.

I know that chances are brilliant that my awareness this morning will benefit you greatly, so I’m sharing it although my ego is screaming like a fucking loon in my head!

“No Anel!  They’ll think you’re such a coward.

Such a fake.

Such an idiot.

Which means your sperm donor was right – you’re nothing but a stupid bitch.

You’re not worth jack shit.”

Whatever.

So here’s what happened – real time – which also explains why my blog is so late today.

I woke up at 4 am.  All on fire and ready to go.  Waiting for my alarm so I can get thriving in my day.

Alarm went off.

I shot out of bed like a rocket.

My husband didn’t.

In fact, he pressed the snooze button.

And I freaked!

I went into a complete spin because he’s messing with our perfectly rehearsed morning routine.

It was a little absurd and I was stunned by my reaction.

Which could only mean one thing…

… time to journal the shit out of what’s going on.

Here’s what I figured out in my torrent of words:  It has nothing to do with my husband.  Nadah.  It’s all me.

It’s 45 years of fear which has been neatly kept at bay within the confinement of routines.

Yes, I’m a routine freak.

Which then made me realise that I’m also a control freak.

Which rarely works out for me especially considering my hunger for adventure.

Adventure never happens in a controlled environment.

Really bizarre is the fact that I can take a back-pack and walking stick and go climb a mountain where people have died and once I take that first step, I’m completely calm.  In the zone baby.  Thriving.

My husband presses the snooze button on a Wednesday morning and I lose the plot.

Which had me thinking how much energy I lose when people mess with my routine and considering I have kids, it’s actually quite a lot.

This realisation also explains why school holidays spins me out!

And you know what, I didn’t enjoy feeling like a scared little bitch whilst journaling and reliving a childhood filled with uncertainty.  A childhood where I often received the backlash of someone else losing their shit and since I was always the smallest in stature, I guess that made me the perfect target.

It went a lot deeper, but I’m not ready to stand completely naked in front of you today.

Not today.

I’m still feeling a tad raw from my awareness this morning.

Especially since I then decided to take back my control by throwing my day into complete chaos!

Not doing anything at the time or place that I normally do it in.

It feels really shit.

Normally, by this time of the day I feel like a badass achiever with all my creative goals accomplished for the day.

But not today.

It’s almost time to start supper and I’m still writing my blog FFS.

I’m determined to see it through though.

I’m determined to prove to my ego that I can turn my day topsy-turvy and still go to bed a winner in every sense of the word.

But it’s hard as hell.

I’m really struggling.

Even writing this makes me feel so incompetent.

Which is just another egotistical story.

That’s why I’m sharing it with you.

I want you to understand that our worlds are created based on the stories we tell ourselves which is reinforced through experience and unless we take the time to investigate, we become the reader instead of the author.

Or rather, that’s what it feels like.

We’re still the author.

Just in a coma.

In conclusion – I’ve awakened to another scene in my story.

Another little quirk that my ego designed for me to not be in full power.

Another way of staying small.

Not anymore.

Instead I’m working through all of that which has happened in my past, bringing the monsters out of the cupboard, embracing them in compassionate hugs and sending them on their merry ways.

I’m facing my fears and taking action regardless of my trembling legs (and hands as I’m typing this) and I know I’ll be okay.

I know that by 8 pm I will breathe a sigh of relief, look at myself in the mirror and state “I’m so proud of you Anel.  We sure did show all those motherfuckers what we’re made of.  You badass you.”

Done.

And tomorrow?

Well tomorrow I will choose to consciously embrace my routine because I know I rock it out.

It’s not about throwing the baby out with the bath water.

It’s not about changing everything because we become aware of the drivers.

It’s just about conscious choice.

So my Darling, where in your life is auto-pilot creating a false sense of security for you which hushes your inner voice for healing?

Where are you in a relationship which is long past it’s due date because you tell yourself rather the devil you know than the devil you don’t?

Where are you so stuck in a job that you can do it with your eyes closed keeping you half-asleep from your potential?

It’s truly time for the warriors, the healers, the leaders, the change bringers to question not just ‘the’ system, but their systems.  Their stories.

Empower yourself with conscious choice.

For death is inevitable.  Thriving is a choice.

With love eternal,

Anel

 

 

If you want perfection, I’m not your gal.

I’m going against the grain.

And it might be costing me dollars, but it’s bringing me success.

You see Darling, I made a choice a long time ago to give up the pursuit of ‘perfection’.

I don’t believe in perfection.

I don’t believe in only putting my successes out there.

I don’t believe in only sharing my best work and deleting old recordings or writings that make me blush in laughter because I looked like such a dork.

In fact I still do it.

I’ve stared a Yoga channel WAY before I’m ‘ready’ to start a yoga channel.

Why?

Because I’m human as fuck and proud of it.

I’m on a journey.

I’m constantly starting out.

I’m constantly learning new things and prepared to live outside of my comfort zone.

I’m the unpolished old ducky who keeps it real for those who need to see someone imperfect to give them permission to just go for it, before they feel ready to do it.

I honestly feel it’s grossly unfair to people to only ever get the polished products.

I know for me, the moment I follow someone who only ever puts out the edited versions, I start feeling like a complete incompetent Neanderthal.  I start thinking “OMG I can never do that, look like that, speak like that, so why bother even starting”.

Which is why I tend not to follow those people.

I think the really sad part is that whenever celebrities get caught in their ‘human’ moments, they get slated by the media and their so-called fans!  The world comes to a standstill because a super model has cellulite or Batman has skipped the gym and his gut is hanging out.

Seriously people, get a life!

Instead I choose to work with the coaches and mentors who encourage me to look at their early work which we can both have a good chuckle over as they point out their rookie mistakes.  I work with the coaches who sometimes send out a newsletter filled with spelling mistakes because they were so pumped and passionate in the moment of writing they simply didn’t give a shit about some asinine perfectionistic critique who might roll their eyes on the other side.

That’s how I choose to live my life.

Do I get criticised?

Oh hell yes.

But so what?

Those who criticise me don’t know me.

They don’t know my whole story.

Nobody does.

So they can take their judgment, roll it with some horse shit and smoke it.

You know what Darling, I’ve come to the realisation I’m a super-nova powerful badass soul who came here to have a HUMAN experience.

Not a computer generated experience.

I figure if I wanted to get it all right and perfect all the time I would just have done that.

So what does human look like in my life?

I’m slow as fuck – no seriously.

In all areas of my life.

There’s a reason I have a turtle tattoo on my back.  That baby is LOADED with meaning.

Then again, have you ever seen a baby turtle fight for her life to get into the ocean?  Her will is undeniable.  I’ve been privileged to witness this miraculous journey and it astounded and inspired me to always keep going forward no matter how many motherfuckers try to hold me back, to destroy me.  They’ll have to keep dragging on my ass until I give my last breath.

This also made me appreciate every step, every breath, every second that I am gifted with life.  Why on earth would I waste my time trying to sprint and miss the moments that change my life?  Moments such as witnessing a turtle’s very first steps in what is hopefully a long, exciting, adventurous life.

Embracing the fact that I’m slow is what got me to the finish line at my most life-transforming events because I kept going when others gave up due to their ego-driven disappointment.

How often do you give up because you think you should be faster?  That success should be overnight so instead you just go back to a salary job because you’ve been at it for five years and still not a millionaire?  How much have you lost out on in the process?

My take on it is if you’re going to do something do it for the love of it so that the journey becomes more important than the finish line!

It’s my love for the journey that gives me the courage to explore and be willing to fail often knowing that I’m badass, I will always recover, I have what it takes.

One year my business is printing money and then instead of riding the gravy train, I decide to throw out the blueprint.  I decide to take it to another level and dimension. I  do the internal work and am always amazed at the transformation.  Then I’m willing to put it out there, to do it differently resulting in the inevitable downward plummet.  Think arms thrown to the sky screaming like a lunatic on a rollercoaster ride.  That’s pretty much me.

Every rollercoaster plummets.

It also plateaus out.

Then it rises.

People who get on the ride get on for the WHOLE experience.

Not just the highs.

Some look at me and shake their heads in confusion – what the fuck is she doing?  They don’t get it.  They never will.

Then again, after a decade of coaching I can honestly say I’m still completely in love with my business, completely in love with my profession, still smiling and laughing and working with insprirational clients.

For me, THAT is success.

The day I wake up bored is the only time I would have failed.

If I look at my life and it’s predictable, I might as well kick the bucket and come back again with a greater willingness to grow a pair and be willing to fail.

BE WILLING TO FAIL!

Be willing to be human.

Be willing to be imperfect.

Seriously, what have you got to lose?

Your life?

Well as far as I’m concerned, existence is worse than death.

I’ve done the whole day-after-miserable-godforsaken-day-existence.

IT SUCKED!

I choose to thrive.

I choose to enjoy my life every single day because every day is a gift to have an adventure.

Why wouldn’t I choose that?

Why would I choose safe?

Safe from what?

You are already safe!  Don’t you realise that yet?  You are the most powerful being you can possibly imagine and you will always be okay. Even when you die you’re not going to be dead.

You’re just going to immediately wake up and go “Fuck that was epic!  Again!  Again!”

or

you’re going to wake up and think “What the fuck girl?  Why were you such a fucking scaredy-cat?  Why did you stay hidden in the dark corner?  What a waste!  Let’s go back and try again – and this time I want you to kick ass!”

There is no better time to choose than today.

You have to.

You’re making a choice either way – even stubbornly choosing not to choose.

So what will it be?

Existence

or

thrive?

With love eternal,

Anel

PS:  I guess at this stage you’re either thinking that I’ve lost the plot, or you’re inspired to break the chains that are keeping you from living your life of choice.  To eliminate the definitions of success that feels like an albatross dragging you down.  The routines and blueprints that suck the living creativity out of your soul.  If that’s you then it’s time for you to get into the FLOW of your life and your business.  This eight week journey is about activating the energy system which resides in your body, your chakras, to liberate you from constrictions and to activate a higher level of knowing and creativity.  It’s about remembering who you are and what you came here to do and building a business that has you thriving in however you choose to define your thrive.  It’s elegant in it’s simplicity and supports YOU as a human in body, mind and soul.  Ready to FLOW Darling,  Get the details here.  Pre-course work has started.

 

My Wild Woman Manifesto

Oh, how blessed am I?

I find myself on this incredible path of radical self-love and with every step I take my heart opens to a new dimension I never thought possible.

I’m finding more and more that it’s all about me.

How I choose to think.

How I choose to feel.

How I choose to act.

How I choose to show up.

I can’t remember a time in my life when I’ve smiled more, laughed more, loved more.

Yet I’m also very aware that I’m not a recluse.

Even though I’ve shifted fast and furiously, some of those around me are still struggling with old thought patterns and beliefs filling them with doubt, fear and quite a bit of heartache.

I know well the effect of emotional contagion and if I don’t put in place the structures to support my commitment to my path, slowly but surely I will sway.

Which is why I sat my sexy ass down this weekend and wrote my Wild Woman Manifesto – my declaration to myself of who I am committed to be, what I stand for, my truth.

It is with great love that I share my manifesto with you today – may it inspire you to commit to your best level self.

Use it.

Change it.

Write your own.

You’re fucking worth it.

Wild Woman Manifesto

This is my declaration to myself.

I am a wild woman.

I courageously  express my truth knowing that it will always divide the listeners into camps of love and hate.

I own my no-nonsense, rebellious, badass nature to illuminate truth in times of darkness.

I show up in the world with beauty, grace and confidence.  

I embrace my identity as a warrior maiden and never apologise for owning my divinity.

I am the woman who struts, not walks.

The woman who keeps her head high even in the face of stones cast by naysayers.

The woman who will always rise no matter how hard life knocks me down.

I am the woman who believes in magnificent standards of excellence and who never compromise.

I keep exquisite company with those who are spiritual, high vibrational and purpose driven.  Those brave enough to speak their truth and be catalysts for change.  Those who walk with dignity and pride.  Those who honour the ancient wisdoms of alchemy, magic and love for Gaia.

I always make the right decisions for my highest good and live my life in service to the healing of humanity.  

I am committed to continue my journey of growth and self-love never backing down in submission to those who desire to keep the status quo.

I am unapologetically feminine.

Like the fierce lioness I stand my ground and defend my young to the death.  I hunt with my sisters to feed my soul and lie with my lover to feed my heart.

I refuse to ever bow down for others to step on me but stand my ground and hold my hand out for those who desire to follow.

I have clear and powerful boundaries which I respect and uphold at all times just as I respect the boundaries of others.

My body is my temple and I am committed to keep her strong, flexible, healthy, sexy, thriving.

I choose to live my life with ease, joy, grace, love and magic.

I walk in the light of my Lord and Lady, believing in myself, my truth, my path.

I live my life in accordance to my soul so that I will remain proud of the wild woman I am.

And so it is.

Blessed Be.

 

With love eternal,

Anel

PS:  Are you ready to commit to a new way of living?  A new way of thriving?  A new way of building your soul-purpose business?  FLOW starts next Monday October 2nd.  This eight week program honours the incredible power of three – body, mind and soul in the manifestation of all you desire.  Through meditation, yoga and mind-set work we align your vision from your crown chakra to your base and then use the reverse process to build your business from the ground up in a system that will ensure your feminine creative process is supported by masculine structures and systems.  This program will serve you again and again as we complete the loop always spiralling you and your business upwards in a supportive, energising system that ensures integrity of your foundation is always kept intact – no more exhaustion, doubt, cracks and crumbles.  We start with pre-course work this week so get the details here and let’s start your FLOW.

 

We’re all still human after all – and that’s fucking powerful.

My life is pretty spectacular at this point in time.

I live in God’s country – the pure beauty of this little island brings me to a standstill every time I go out on my bike.  It simply demands appreciation.

My kids are perfect.

No really, I’m not just saying that.

I’m in the best health I’ve ever been.

My business is fun, stimulating, invigorating, exciting and my clients kick ass.

And I can do headstands!

In less than a month I’ll be celebrating my 45th birthday and this will be the first year where I can celebrate falling in love with myself.

All of this might equate to very little in your world, but in mine it’s nothing short of miraculous.

Why?

Because there was a time when my life was a living nightmare from which I struggled to wake.

I thought that being human meant that I was weak and I had to stick with the herd to survive.

Which meant the herd had to like me.

I was so obsessed with pleasing other people, with fitting into their little box of what a good girl and a good woman should be, that I hated myself.

Because I didn’t fit into the box.

I hated myself to the point where I starved my body.  I lived on two cans of coke, three Thinz tablets, two packets of Benson & Hedges Special Mild and shit tons of coffee a day.  I was an adult woman weighing 47 kilograms receiving compliments on how good I looked.

Then I hated myself to the point where I would drink until I puked.  Bells, Spiced Gold, Tequila, Sambuca, Gin, Castle, Black Label.  You name it, I drank it.  36 tots of Tequila to get to night started.  Oh yes Baby, I was the life of the party.

Then I hated myself to the point where I ate until I could hardly get past my stomach to tie my shoes.  I would look at myself in the mirror, turn away in revulsion, vomit rising with sour bile in my throat and go eat another slab of chocolate.

Then I hated myself to the point where I wanted to kill myself.  Literally.  I couldn’t take it anymore.  I just wanted it to stop.

I’d had enough of the bullshit.

I’d had enough of the pretence.

I’d had enough of life.

I just wanted it all to end.

Just to end the fucking madness that was screaming inside of me.

The madness that nothing made sense to me.

The madness that society has this fucked up delusional blueprint of what I should look like and speak like and walk like and dress like and drive like and give like for me to be good, worthy, enough.

Except no matter what I did it was never enough.

I didn’t fit in.

I didn’t belong.

I was sick and tired of getting beaten down.

all

the

fucking

time.

I was sick and tired of being told how screwed up I was and that I should relax and just try and be more normal.

I was sick and tired of following the ‘dream’ of working myself to death in a dead-end job just so I could claim success.  Jumping up and down every time I could get more – more toys, more stuff, more validation, more debt, more bullshit.

I was sick and tired of doing life the way that everyone else was doing it because quite frankly, most everyone else looked pretty miserable to me.

They just didn’t know it.

Because like me, they had completely disconnected to themselves.

To their desires.

To their values.

To their truth.

But I didn’t drink those pills.

I didn’t give up.

Instead I made the choice to fight back.

To fight for my life.

To turn my back on all the preachers and teachers who told me to be the same as everyone else.

I decided to get selfish.

Really selfish.

I decided to start thinking for myself.  To start speaking for myself.  To start healing myself.  To start doing whatever the fuck made me happy.

I decided to reconnect with my body, my desires, my needs.

I stopped obsessing about my weight and started eating what my body wants, when my body wants it.  Amazingly enough it’s not junk food.

I stopped obsessing about building my brand and finding my niche and posting eight times a day and started speaking my truth when my truth came out and to work with whoever resonated with my message.  Which is probably why my clients all rock – because they question, and they rise against a social system that’s turned humans into commodities.  They do the real work and they fall in love with themselves and thrive!

I stopped trying to fix everyone in my life and let them make their own choices and live with the results of their actions.  I’m not here to save anyone or to walk their soul journey for them.  Instead I keep my eyes on my own path.

I stopped comparing myself to everyone else’s photoshopped, Facebook edited lives and started appreciating every minute of my day, inhaling deeply, stopping to watch the sun creep over the horizon, smelling each new rose that flowers on my rose-bush outside my office window.

I stopped comparing myself to anyone else and started falling in love with who I am, body, mind and beautiful soul.

It’s taken me 45 years my friend.

And you know what?

I would do it all again.

All of it.

Every miserable fucking godforsaken horrible experience included.

For every single one of those presented me with opportunities to choose.

Opportunities to learn.

Opportunities to grow.

Opportunities to eventually question.

Oh I’m very aware it could have gone the other way.

One different choice and I would have ended up on a completely different time-line with a different reality today.

But I didn’t, and I’m here, and it’s fucking spectacular!

How about you?

Are you thrilled with your life?

Do you love the reflection in the mirror?

Do you thrive in your business?

Are you proud to be you?

Because if not you can change that right here.  Right now.

That’s right.

It all boils down to a millisecond when you make a decision.

A decision to say fuck all the bullshit and the stereotyping and the feeling of never ever being good enough.

A decision to take a stand for yourself.

A decision to start fighting for your fucking life!

Nobody else is going to do it for you Darling.

There’s no Prince Charming coming to sweep you off your feet.

Prince Charming has his own life to live.

It’s up to you.

And I already know that you have everything inside of you to turn your life around regardless of your age.  Regardless of your bank balance.  Regardless of what your home currently looks like.  Regardless of what your current relationship feels like.

All of that is external.

Stop focusing outside.

Start looking inside.

That’s where your power, your truth resides.

Are you ready?

Really?

Because seriously, I’m sick and tired of people saying tomorrow.

There’s no tomorrow.  There’s only now.  Right now.  This moment.

That’s all.

One breath.

What do you choose?

Because that choice will be made by the end of this piece and that choice will decide your next outcome.

Death is inevitable.

Thriving is a choice.

What do you choose?

With love eternal,

Anel

PS:  You are not alone.  Here, take my hand Darling and let’s get you back on your feet, back into thrive.  You fucking deserve it.