Coffee – strong, black and bitter: Evidence of next level thrive!

Have you ever had it happen to you?

Where you’ve made the decision to go next level.

You’ve taken the time to get very fucking clear of what that looks like.

You’ve done the real work.

You’ve drawn a line in the sand.

And then you wake up wanting your coffee strong, black and bitter.

That’s what happened to me.

Overnight.

Historically I couldn’t drink my coffee black and bitter so it’s always been either milk or sugar.

But my next level bitch drinks the stuff as nature intended:  just add water.

And so it is.

Overnight.

The shift happened so fast that I’m reeling a tad.  I can feel the demand of my soul for complete cleanse, release, expand, return to my true nature.  My authentic expression of creativity in human form.

This has happened to me twice before.

Once when I made the decision to become an IronMan and the other when I decided to move to New Zealand.

What I’ve found is that the moment we have TOTAL fucking commitment and we make the decision that it is done, the forces of nature takes on a whole new dimension and shit happens fast.

Fuck traditional wisdom, red tape and circumstances.

All of that is transcended we’re shown the potential power that resides within each and every one of us.

It’s magical.

And it’s also scary as fuck.

People who loved us before all of a sudden feel threatened and become aggressive – desperate to protect their egos just in case you actually expect them to do something extraordinary as well.

All your previous excuses of why you were still in the same position as you have been for the past ten years become just that – excuses.

In fact I was chatting to God this morning and saying how funny it is that we humans are all up in arms about freedom of choice except when we look at our lives and we’re not exactly thrilled with what we see, we say we don’t have a choice.

We HAVE to work in the dead-end job to pay the bills because we’re responsible.

We HAVE to eat meat because our bodies need the protein and everyone knows how unhealthy vegetarians are.

We HAVE to drink a bottle of wine at night because we’re so stressed out and it helps us relax.

We HAVE to smoke another cigarette because we are addicted – helpless, we don’t have the willpower to break it.

We HAVE to work ourselves into a coma because the economy is unpredictable and what if this is the last good season before we lose our clients.

All such valid reasons as to why we’re living our current lives and then bitching about how stressed and burnt out we are.  How nobody understands us and what we’re going through.

How fucking insensitive Anel is and that she just don’t have any compassion.

Bitch.

Except you know what Darling, I probably have more compassion than your entire neighbourhood put together.

I absolutely have compassion for the suffocating soul within the body dying to be let out and play just a little freer.

I absolutely have compassion for feeling powerless and trapped and lonely and broken.

At times I still tell myself the same bullshit as everyone else.

I still tell myself I don’t have a choice.

I still tell myself it’s just how it is.

But then I talk to God and we both laugh at my bullshit and I get up and have my coffee black and bitter.

I take out my moon ring and I magically write my day into existence because why wouldn’t I?

Why would I start my day with a blank page for everyone else to write on?

Why would I just wait until I’ve read my emails to see who’s shouting louder than my dreams to dictate what I’m going to do next?

Fuck that shit.

I choose to take complete ownership of the physical expression of my choices.

Some I adore.

Some I’m looking at with a raised eyebrow and saying “Seriously Anel?  WTF girl?”

And those I’m choosing to change.

Because I know that I can.

I know it starts with a decision.

I know it starts with drawing a line in the sand.

I know it starts with me stating to the Universe what I’m no longer willing to tolerate it and MEANING it.

I know it starts with me getting crystal clear on what it is that I’m creating next and then taking aligned action no matter how uncomfortable it feels at times.

Because aligned action doesn’t mean easy action.

Aligned action doesn’t mean zero effort.

Aligned action means the action that takes you from where you are to where you want to be and that entails growth Darling – personal growth, spiritual growth, mental growth, emotional growth.

And growth is not a comfortable thing.

Not at all.

You have to be willing to say “Bite me”  and then bleed when someone decides to take you up on it.

You have to be willing to say “Adios Monchachos” when you’re asked to slow down, to stand still, to shut the fuck up.

You have to be willing to see the evidence that the Universe gifts you with every single day – like spotting your next tattoo design and exclaiming YES!  Like making that cup of coffee and putting the milk back in the fridge because your tummy starts turning at the mere thought.

You have to be willing to work when others are sleeping.

You have to be willing to colour outside the lines and being criticised because your art is ugly for those who like the lines.

You have to be willing to say no to others when they cross your boundaries.

Fuck you need to be willing to HAVE boundaries!

And then you have to be willing to thrive Darling.

You have to be willing to absolutely start laughing for no reason because you simply can’t get over the fact that life is magical!

You have to be willing to receive with grace and gratitude and joy and opulence because life force is going to rain down on your head drenching your soul with everything that you’ve desired for such a long time.

You have to be willing to step up and be the leader you were born to be.  To be the change catalyst.  To inspire others by being true to your authentic self.  To prick the bear’s balls to wake him from his slumber.

Just because that’s why you’re here in the first place.

And when you start living your purpose fully, your definition of fun changes.  Your heart expands and instead of caring less you start caring so much more.

You start showing up for you tribe.

You start showing up for you.

And it’s one helluva ride!

Why the fuck wouldn’t you want to?

Because it’s scary.

I know.

It’s not a life for the weak and the meek.  It’s a life for the brave.

For it all starts with having the courage to make a powerful statement to the entire universal force of creation.  And we were taught to whisper in prayer rather than stating from a place of authority.  We were taught not to anger the gods for they will unleash thunder and lightning and the sky will fall on our heads.

I don’t think so.

Not my God anyway.

My God listens to me rant and rave at 5 am until I start seeing how ludicrous it is and then we both roll around on the floor laughing our asses off.  And then he says “Okay Anel, now stop fucking around and get to work.  It’s time”

It’s time.

It’s your time too.

Take me hand.

For death is inevitable. But thriving is a choice you can make today by taking a single courageous step.

With love always,

Anel

PS:  Have you seen the epic journey I’ve prepared for you?? Courage, Clarity and Confidence is you, me and some badass warriors connecting with your true purpose, wiping the shit off your glasses so you can see clearly, and then speaking your message with rocking confidence.  Mind-set,movement and magic unleashes your trilogy of power in body, mind and spirit.  PLUS as an early bird special the first 50 get my Chakra Business Building Model for free because that’s just how we roll.  If you’re not in yet and you KNOW this is your next step to leave behind all you’re tolerating, then get your sexy ass moving darling.  Get all the details here and let’s play.

 

 

If I died today, this is what I want my boys to know.

To my darling boys,

I’m not sure if you guys will ever read this, but if I die today I pray that someone will tag you so you do.

I wonder sometimes why on earth you ever chose me to be your mother.

Whatever your reasons, know that I am beyond grateful and humbled for this opportunity to guide you as best I can.

The beauty of your souls.

The courage of your spirits.

The depth of your love.

You are my inspiration.

Being a parent is probably the hardest thing any person can be called to do. I suspect the reason why God gave us orgasms is that if it wasn’t for that, nobody would actively volunteer to continue what Adam and Eve started.

It’s even more challenging if like me, you came into this space and time with the soul purpose to disrupt the status quo.

To think differently.

To question everything.

And why the fuck wouldn’t I? Shit is clearly not working properly at the moment.

You don’t have to look very far to see the truth of this statement.

Just check out the profit margins of the pharmaceutical and alcohol industries!

And I know you guys have experienced the painful impact of both these industries.

I find myself in this constant internal struggle of teaching you how to play the game so the blows to your heads, hearts and souls will be minimised – and make no mistake boys, the more you think, the more you speak your truth, the more the masses will try to smother your passion – and giving mediocrity a big fat middle finger and starting a fucking revolution of a generation who start thinking again!

A generation who stops consuming and starts creating.

A generation who makes conscious decisions in every aspect from their lives. From how they spend their time to what they eat to how they move their bodies to how they live their lives.

But that’s the hard path.

And
Oh
My
God
I know that’s your destinies.

I’ve been watching you guys with fascination for as long as I can remember.

And please know that whatever happens next, whatever crazy shit I do, I do it because I’m inspired by you.

I’m inspired by the depth of your conversations when you think nobody is watching you. By the strength of your bond when you set testosterone aside for a while. By your acceptance of your uniqueness even when you confuse the shit out of your Dad and I.

Know that it’s not that I ever want you to conform – EVER!

But it’s human nature to be worried when you can’t make sense of something.

And I rarely make sense of you guys.

Which is the beauty of you!

I watch the way in which you guys show up around your mates when there’s no adults around. I watch you guys lead them without even realising that you’re doing it. How you speak your truth even when it’s not the ‘cool’ words to speak.

I adore that about you guys.

It gives me the courage to show up each day and continue my work even when I have no idea where it will lead.

All I know is that change is coming and we are to be a part of that change.

Ghandi said be the change that you want to see in the world.

Truest words you’ll ever hear.

I don’t think people really get the depth of this message though.

It means that you stop feeling a fucking victim of others, of politics, of economies, of bullshit and YOU show the fuck up for yourself and your dreams.

It means that instead of bitching and moaning about the behaviours of others, YOU decide how you want to experience your relationships and you start showing up as that and your relationships will evolve. Yes, sometimes that means a relationship with one person needs to end, but that’s just because the relationship with another person is ready to be birthed.

This is true for all relationships – friendship, romance, clients, family, all of it.

I want to tell you guys to never stop questioning the rules and if they’re screwing people over – BREAK THEM!

Personally I believe that 90% of our current rules and values are archaic and served an old world but is killing the people in this world.

Don’t EVER think you have to do ANYTHING to make your dad or myself proud.

I COULDN’T BE MORE PROUD!

You guys are perfect and wonderful and magnificent just as you are. You don’t have to add anything! You don’t have to get a ‘good’ education or a ‘good’ job for me to be proud.

Just be happy!

In everything you do.

Because when you do the epic shit that lights you up, you’re living your life purpose.

Trust this.

Your souls already know what you’re here to do and every time you do it, he dances! That’s when you feel the joy. And it’s normally in the most unexpected activities and circumstances.

Don’t EVER let anybody tell you that you can’t do something!
Don’t EVER let anybody tell you that you have to be more responsible or grow up!
Don’t EVER let anybody tell you that you must stop dreaming!

Your dreams are your reality awaiting manifestation.

Your job is to keep dreaming.
Your job is to keep taking aligned action and making your dreams come true.
Because when you do, you inspire others to do the same.
And as born leaders, you’re here to inspire.

Which probably leaves me with a small apology to make.

I’m sorry I haven’t broken more rules.
I’m sorry I haven’t done more crazy shit than I have (but I’m hoping I still have time).
I’m sorry I haven’t fucked up more – although you’ll probably never hear all the failures I’ve had in my life.
I’m sorry that I haven’t made a bigger impact to date.

But I’ll make you this promise my Darling Boys – Every day from this day forth I will show the fuck up for my life purpose.

I will roar my message into the dessert and believe that a ripple of change will start that will make this world a better place for you.

I will embrace the haters and never let their furious attacks dim the brightness of my love for you.

I will keep rising every time I fall so that I can lead the way for you.

For I don’t believe I have the right to ask anything from you that I’m not prepared to ask of myself.

I don’t believe I have the right to ask you guys to live your dreams if I’m not prepared to go full out on my own.

And when I take my last breath know that from the moment you guys were born, each breath has been filled with my love for you. As I have breathed in your love for me.

Thank you for choosing me to be your mother in this lifetime.

I hope I make you proud.

Be yourselves.

Be true.

Never settle.

Fuck mediocrity.

Fuck existence.

For death is inevitable my Darling Boys. But thriving, OMG that is a choice a pray you make.

With love eternal,
Your mom

PS: And Mommy, thank you for all you’ve done for me. I would pick you a trillion times again. Thank you for inspiring me to love myself. It’s taken a while Mom but I’ve arrived. How can I ever thank you enough.

PPS: For every parent and child who reads this, it’s time for us to be the change we say we want to see in the world. It’s really time to stop putting it onto the shoulders of the next generation and then still telling them how to do it in a way that conforms to the bullshit that isn’t working. Join me today and start questioning. Start connecting with your purpose. Start taking aligned action to your dreams. Be courageous – for it’s time the warriors wake and rise to heal a dying world.

Is the suppression of our truth and our emotions killing us?

There comes a time when we have to question that which nobody appears to question.

We have to question why nobody is talking about it.

We have to question the impact that not questioning is having on us.

I don’t think we came to this life to be silent.

To be PC (Politically Correct for those of you who, like me, wonder what the fuck PC stands for).

To live in an energy of fear of the consequences of our beautifully inquisitive minds and speaking it out loud.

Last night as I was driving my son to soccer practice there was a clip on the radio about a boy who’d pointed out a mistake in some natural museum regarding dinosaurs.  At first the mother didn’t want to take it up with them because well, how can they possibly be wrong?  They’re a museum for heavens sake and he was just a snot-nosed youngster.

Turns out he was right.

They rectified the mistake.

But what really hit home for me were the comments made around children always speaking their truth and it’s okay every now and again but nobody wants their child to be a smart-ass.

Why the fuck not?

Why wouldn’t we encourage our kids to say whatever is on their minds.  Even if we don’t agree.  Even when it’s irritating on our already tired and frazzled nerves.

Because at some stage we are going to pay the price for silencing smart-asses!

And I believe that this is more apparent than ever before.

I believe that this is where a shit ton of our current epidemics are starting.

By us telling our kids to keep their opinions to themselves.

By us telling them not to say anything that could possibly embarrass us.

And then when they hang their heads we tell them not to sulk, to grow up.

To fucking die!

Because here’s what I’m seeing – I’m seeing people suppressing their opinions, their truths, their passion, their feelings, and people are dying.

When I studied Pranic Healing I was fascinated to discover the reason why energy healing is so effective is because every disease or injury in the physical body has an origin in the energy body.  And the energy body is impacted by emotions.

That means that all physical disease has an emotional origin.

Now before you go into this hugely scientific argument here, just pause and think.  Yes, we all have the cancer thingy in our genes, but what is the trigger?

Get out of your ego and feel into this.

Because if we’ve all had these ‘potential diseases’ floating around in our bodies for as long as time goes back, why is it that there is such an increase in illnesses such as cancer and diabetes all around us?

I can’t remember when last a month has gone by where I haven’t heard of another person diagnosed with cancer!

Young people.

I believe it’s due to an oppression of emotion.

I believe it’s because people are encouraged to stop speaking what’s on their mind and so they walk around in fear, insecurity, frustration, suppressed anger and resentment.

Dark shit Baby.

When we talk about those things we worry about, we start seeing it in a different light.

We figure out solutions to perceived problems.

We get input that clarifies or puts a different spin on that which is going around and around in our heads with no definitive direction.

Instead the uncertainty turns into fear which is made worse by the false bravado we put up as a protective front.  Because let’s face it, whenever you appear weak you become an easy target for the assholes.

So now you have this powerful individual who came here to question, to shine a light on darkness, to bring clarity through thinking and instead of being on a platform where they reach their soul tribe and collectively find a new way of living and being, they’re literally being suffocated by their silence.  Drowning in their fear.

Their bottled up emotions are pushed down into their base chakras and it spreads up like a volcano building up pressure.

What happens to a volcano?

Pretty much the same as what’s happening in people.

There’s an eruption that shakes the core and destroys all in its path.

Either the body erupts into disease to increase the suffering thereby highlighting the need for inquisition, for healing.

Or the person’s emotions erupt in a way that they find hard to control so they either switch off through further medication, or put a label on themselves and go to therapy because it’s easier to cope with the label than the emotions.

Or they kill themselves because they simply can’t bare the pain of silence any longer.

I’m not saying that we should close down all the pharmacies and burn the doctors and therapists!

What I am saying is that we can’t continue only treating symptoms.

We have to start treating the actual cause as well.

We have to go the root – the emotions!

We have to use the emotions as a path of inquiry to understand their message.

People say that we have to put our faith in ‘modern medicine’ but what about all the lost wisdom of ancient medicine?

What about looking at all the shit we are continuously putting into our vessels – the food, the gossip, the fear, the PC bullshit?

What about looking at how we’re telling our kids on public radio that nobody likes a smart-ass?

I fucking adore smart-asses!

They are ballsy.

They are brilliant.

The world needs more smart-asses!

We also seriously need to start having real conversations.

Fuck talking about what you read on Facebook today or what’s happening on the other side of the globe!

What about the shit that’s happening in your town, your neighbourhood, your home?

How about having those conversations?

But that would mean getting uncomfortable.

And let’s face it – people don’t like being uncomfortable.

Uncomfortable is too powerful an emotion for most to handle.

Let’s rather go to the pub and make fun of people being enslaved to make us cheap clothes because that we can handle.

Let’s rather have our kids watch YouTube videos of a kitten getting a fright and accidentally jumping out a window to it’s death.  Because that’s funny right?

Let’s rather have our young people play PS4 games of death and destruction because you know ‘it’s only fantasy’.  Never mind the fact that the graphics are so realistic that you wouldn’t be able to tell the difference between what’s drawn and what’s real.  Because of course we are not desensitising our next generation of leaders to murder.

It’s fucked up people!

And nobody is prepared to talk about it.

Keep quiet.

Be pleasant.

Make others feel okay.

Don’t feel too much.

Just exist.

Just fit in.

Just keep the status quo.

Just.

Fucking.

Die!

When are we going to say ‘Enough and no more?’

When are we going to say ‘Fuck-it’ and just speak our minds even if nobody around us agrees with us?

And let me just make it clear – this is NOT about me being right and you being wrong.  This is about opening up a discussion for thought.  Not thought in terms of what is written on the world wide web.  Thought by inquisition from a place of wisdom.  What your gut says.

Until we start having these conversations we’re never going to stimulate our minds to do what they do best – SEE POSSIBILITIES!

You don’t need a degree to know what’s good and bad for you.

You don’t need a degree to talk about your emotions.

You don’t need a degree to think out of the box.

You just need a little bit of courage.

Okay maybe you need a lot of courage.

But what’s the worst thing that could happen for speaking up?

People won’t like you?  Well there will always be people who won’t like you.

Someone else could have a stronger argument than you and actually convince you that they’re right?  Well isn’t that just grande???

Someone will kill you?  Darling – you’re going to die anyway!

Death is inevitable.

Thriving is a choice.

A brave choice.

A choice that goes against the masses.

It’s all a choice.

It’s also a choice to stand in your power and start speaking your truth thereby healing your body.

Just saying.

With love always,

Anel

PS:  I’m calling in the spiritual rebels, the born leaders, the creatives, the change catalysts who are ready to start owning their truth, find their voice, heal themselves and spread that healing to the world.  I’m calling in my soul tribe for it’s time to rise.  You have hidden long enough in the throngs of average.  You’ve faded into the background long enough swallowing your power.  It’s your time now.  You are ready for the next step now.  Courage, Clarity and Confidence.  For nobody else is going to bring about the change that you’re here to start.  Deep breath.  Trust.  Believe.  And rise gorgeous warrior.  Rise.

 

 

Simple Doesn’t Mean Easy

Hmmmm this is a challenging post for me to write as this is such an integral part of my personal learning journey.

In fact I feel the resistance within myself thinking ‘aah maybe I shouldn’t write this because it’s such a boring topic.  Simplicity’.

Which is how I know this is exactly what I need to write about today.

Probably more for myself than for you.

But maybe you need to hear this today as well.

Maybe like me you need to continuously remind yourself to slow the fuck down to speed up.

You see, like you, I’m an over- achiever.

I love doing the hard stuff.

The things that are seriously challenging – mentally, physically, emotionally.

It thrills me.

It excites me.

I.  Fucking.  Adore.  It.

Which could very well be why my Soul led me to a yoga mat.

Mother of chilli peanut butter it’s humbling!  Grrrrrr.

Yoga is reminding me that simple doesn’t mean easy.

In fact, it’s the complete opposite.

Simple is about remembering.

How to breathe.

How to release.

How to expand.

How to hold.

How to be.

How to have a fully present conversation without the desire for controlling the outcome in your favour.

How to be in a relationship where you don’t demand the other person to conform to your non-conformity.

How to release all your thoughts and the judgement around your thoughts.

At which point we connect with our most powerful inner knowing and wisdom and are guided to the correct inspired action.

The HARD part of simplicity is the self-discipline.

The discipline to back off when your body will benefit more from recovery than pain.

The discipline to stick to the preparatory postures when everyone else is going pretzel around you.

The discipline to always return to loving yourself and finding therein that which you’re seeking from others.

The discipline to look within for the answers to your most frustrating situations rather than blaming everyone and everything around you.

Because until you achieve mastery over yourself, your thoughts, your emotions, you will NEVER achieve mastery in any area of your life.

Not in your profession.

Not in your relationships.

Not in your fitness.

Nada.

And mastery over self is achieved through simplicity and continued practice even when you think it is ‘boring’.

I’m starting to suspect that complexity is just another cleverly crafted way of keeping people small.

I think it’s a play on the human ego that either has you doing stupid shit you’re not ready to do thereby getting injured or defeated in the process, or worse, getting you to the point of not even trying OR getting you doing the complex stuff and looking from the outside as if you’re taking all the right actions but internally you’re recruiting all the wrong muscle groups and so you miss out on the real healing, the real power, the real you in full bloom.

Either way, they win and you lose.

I’ve taken a look around at those who meet my personal definition for success i.e. not just wealth and sporty cars, but healthy relationships, epic physique and health, spiritually grounded.  You know – happy…

What I’ve observed is that they in fact keep everything as simple as possible.  From what they eat, to how they train, to how they conduct business, to how they speak.  Fuck all the jargon that has people more confused than before they asked for you to share your insights and knowledge.

Old school Darling.

They are in it for the long haul.

So they slow down to speed up.

They take their time and they learn the basics and practice it over and over again until it reaches the point of automatisation.  And then they layer another simple thing on top of that trusting that they have a rock solid foundation that’s not going to crumble.  They practice that over and over again and if something doesn’t work you know what they do?

They don’t go out and look for the next fad.

They go back to basics and reinforce the foundation.

Simple.

Powerful.

But do you want to know why that’s such a big ask?

Because we’re competitive – oh please, stop denying it – and competition is an ego-driven activity.

So we cut the corners in order to save face.

I remember being out on a base ride with my coach.

The bastard took my Polar and monitored my heart rate.  Every time there was a slight little uphill my heart rate would increase and he would look at me and in his very demanding voice say “Sit up!”  Which meant I had to slow the fuck down until my heart rate was back to base pace.

Oh.

My.

God.

It was excruciating!

It was humiliating.

A group of newbies came past, all out of shape and out of breath, swinging all over the show.  I was going so slow that in comparison they might have been going a 100 kilometres an hour.

And then to make it even worse – they all said hello!!!!

I looked at my coach pleading  PLLLLLLLLEEEEEEAAAAASSSSSSSEEEEEEE!

He knew that everything inside of me wanted to stand up on those peddles and put the hammer down to overtake them and get back to where I belong – the front.

But there was not a drop of mercy in his steely gaze.

BASTARD!

For the next thirty minutes not only did I have to ‘sit up’ and keep my heart rate just above catatonic, but in addition I had to endure his lecture on how my lack of self-discipline will keep me average and that I had to start trusting the process or go find myself another coach.

My head hung low.

I sulked for a week.

In truth, the reason I sulked was not because he made me sit up, or because I got overtaken by beginners (okay that might have had a little something to do with it).  I sulked because I knew deep inside that I’ve let my ego overtake my wisdom and dictate my results.

I would love to say lesson learned, but we both know that would be a lie.

I’m still learning this lesson.

Because I’m a born achiever.

A competitor.

I want to win goddamit.

I want to do achieve the hard stuff.

I want to pretzel!!

And I will – eventually.

For now, I’m embracing the fact that I’m nowhere near done living and so for me to achieve my ultimate vision I’m taking my time to slow down and build a really solid foundation for myself.

In yoga.

In business.

In relationships.

So what if I end up to be the oldest woman to finally get her ass in the air for crow pose?

For now I’m making more conscious choices.  And sometimes that choice is to say ‘fuck it’ and do the complicated posture like a moron or chase the rabbit on a base ride – willing to pay the price in ultimate performance.

Let’s call it me being human.

I invite you to bring some awareness to your life right now and to maybe investigate where you’ve become impatient and started doing the advanced poses, the intricate strategies, the huge project plans before your foundation was unshakable?  Where are you dropping the basics and paying the ultimate price?  Where are you feeling you have to rush through to get to the next thing because then maybe you should stop wasting your time Darling and only do that which you’re in for for the long run.

Why the fuck not?

Why would you waste your time on shit to just tick the boxes?

That’s crazy!

You have this magnificent opportunity to LIVE!

Stop wasting it with shit that keeps you distracted, busy, exhausted.

Commit to the long run.

Commit to slowing down to speed up.

Simplify your life and feel the immediate expansion and creative energy rise from within.

That’s where flow can find you.

There’s no need to rush.

For death will find you anyway.  Why not choose to thrive until then?

With love always,

Anel

PS:  Are you ready?   Are you ready to stop the madness of complexity and go back to basics?  Back to connecting with your truth, find your voice, eliminate the bullshit and live a life of authenticity, joy and mastery? Then it’s time to take the first courageous step in a new direction!  Courage, Clarity and Confidence is a six week journey with me to shift from anxiety, frustration and feeling a tad underwhelmed to connecting with your courageous warrior, gaining clarity of purpose and the confidence to get whatever you truly desire through mind-set, movement and magic.  We start 14 August.  It’s time Darling.  It’s time.  Get all the details here.

 

 

FEAR – Fuck Everything And Rise!

Aaaah fear, terror, fright, fearfulness, horror, alarm, panic, agitation, trepidation, dread, consternation, dismay, distress.

I’m starting to suspect that next to joy fear might be my second most favourite emotion to sit in.

Which has me pausing and doubting my sanity for a fraction of a breath.

Doubt because from the time I can remember I was schooled that we when we feel fear we have to pull tail between legs and fucking run as fast as we possibly can.

The other way.

Because fear is ‘bad’.

Or is it?

Is fear not just as good as joy?  Does it not have the same intensity, if not more, and therefore intrinsic power?

And let’s be honest here, this entire world is ALL about power.

Power over land.

Power over animals.

Power over resources.

Power over others.

Fuck me Georgie, these days some people are even trying to get power over the natural elements as designed by God!

So what better way to gain power than use one of the most intense emotions available to mankind and using it to keep the masses in their place.

So ‘they’ scare us all the time.

They tell us that there’s scarcity and we have to move ass or loose out forever because somebody else will grab our portion and we’ll be left without – forever.

They show us horror and despicable acts of cruelty that fills my throat with bile as vomit pushes up the wrongness from the pit of my stomach.

They bring out the big guns and threaten acts of terror upon those going about their daily business, living, existing, doing the best they can.

They write their fucked up little contracts on their fucked up little word documents and put it somewhere in the unknown cloud resulting in others pulling a trigger to blow their fucking minds out because they felt so helpless about bullshit fucking contractual law!

Are you fucking kidding me???

I love fear, I embrace fear, I walk with fear because I OWN the power that lies within for me.

For you.

For everyone.

Fear is nothing but a big motherfucking blazing signs that says “OPTIONS AHEAD.  CHOICES ABOUND.  GROWTH OPPORTUNITY TO UNLEASH YOUR FUCKING BRILLIANCE!”

THAT’s what fear is.

Fear is that moment of grace when you get to stand your ground, switch on your soul, activate your mind and start thinking creatively because the mundane is simply not working for you anymore.

What happens?

Well most people are so fucking scared of fear that they become frozen.  Like deer in a headlight they stop thinking.  They stop breathing.  They stop.

They become mindless slaves to those who are smugly holding the sign up high to indoctrinate the masses into submission.

They become so desperate for others to save them that they hand them their personal power on a silver platter begging for mercy.

Well I’m sorry.

You can take your mercy and shove it up your pompous ass!

For I am not here to submit to your threats and your illusions of grandeur.

I’m not here to shrink whilst you hold up your shadow puppets to look like monsters in their black reflections on the wall.

Not me Bitch.

Not me.

I’m here to take that flash light and to shine it onto your hand so others can see you for the fake you are.

Thinking the sight of my blood will silence me.

And I’m going to admit that there’s been times in the past when I sat down quietly.  Hiding in my bedroom, balled up with tears streaming down my face because it hurt and I wanted to hurt to stop.  I just wanted to feel happy.

Now,

Happy is simply not good enough for my standards anymore.

IT’S FUCKING DEATH BEFORE DO NOT THRIVE!

And so I’ve made friends with fear.  I hold her hand, look into her eyes and ask her to show me the way.  To show me the truth.  To lead the way to where I’m meant to walk.

Because I look in the mirror and I know that I’m not a body with a soul.  I’m a soul with a body.

And you can break my body Hunny, you can even dent my spirit at times.  But every time you do, you’re simply strengthening my soul.

And my soul is ready to RISE!

I’m done being told not to speak my truth.

I’m done with saying ‘okay’ when some dickhead tells me that nobody cares about my opinions.

Screw you.

My opinion matters.

My life matters.

My message matters.

I matter!

And so do YOU.  That’s what I want you to feel into on a soul level today Darling.

PLEASE!

I want you to understand that something is more scary than fear itself.

Existence is more scary.

For me and for you.

For we were never born to be ordinary and fit in and work the system.

We were never born to run away and to hide under the shelter with everyone else.

And every day that you choose to do so, every day that you choose to buy into the illusion that fear and anger and pain is to be avoided, you’re dying inside.

You’re dying because you are a multi-dimensional being who are capable to feel the full range of emotion.  You were born to feel the full range of emotions.  When you choose only to experience some, you are robbing yourself of a brilliant life filled with experiences that continue to add to you as a being for change.

A spiritual rebel.

A born leader.

A creator.

An artist.

A over-achiever who choose to thrive!!

Why oh why would you continue to choose to believe the insanity that you have to be safe.  All.  The.  Time.

Ultimately you ARE safe.

You agreed to come to this world and do your soul work and believe me when I tell you that you are protected by an Almighty Universe who wants nothing more than to see you succeed.

Safety is not out there.

It’s inside of you.

Just like everything else you need to thrive.

It’s all there.  Waiting for you to look.  Begging for you to stop, breathe, connect.

Let the others sit quietly waiting for the wave to lift their boat.

Not you.

NOT YOU!

You’re the captain of your ship and you know for you to get to where you desire you have to leave behind the safety of the harbour. You know that the power of the wind will serve you if you turn your sails the right way.  You know that all storms will pass no matter how violent in nature and there will be a calm that humbles you into silent appreciation.

Know what it takes Darling?

To make this choice.

To take this step.

Courage.

Not absence of fear.

Presence of Courage.

Which is what I’ve been called to connect you with.

I’m told it’s time.

I’m told that you’re ready to take up your sword of truth and to change the world.

I’m told that you’re done settling for anything less than magical.

Which is why I’m finally owning my soul purpose, growing a colossal pair of balls and presenting Courage, Clarity and Confidence.

This 6 week journey is like nothing you’ve ever experienced.

This is my life work – bringing together the trilogy of power that resides within you.

Body (yoga)

Mind (mindset work)

Spirit (soul magic)

The doors are opening today.

It’s going to be scary as fuck.

And even as you read this I know that there’s a slight tremble of excitement coursing through your veins because you know it’s true!

Because I’m here to work with warriors not worriers.

And I know you are.

I know because I believe in you.

I believe that you are here to lead – your loved ones, your community, your tribe, your world.

But you have to make one choice first.

You have to choose how will you interpret FEAR.

Will you say Fuck Everything And Run

Or

Will you say Fuck Everything And RISE!

For death is inevitable.

Thriving is a warrior choice.

With my deepest love and respect,

Anel

PS:  Courage, Clarity and Confidence

 

 

 

Raindrops, teachers, duvets and magic – these are a few of my favourite things…

I know – the title makes no sense at all.

It’s all the things that I’m surrounded with at the moment that has me smiling like a Cheshire Cat.

The awareness started with my weekly Zoom meeting with my mom last night (have you met my mom?  Fuck she’s one amazing bad-ass lady who I absolutely adore with my whole being).

Funnily enough we were talking about the weather and the fact that South Africa is desperate for Winter which appears to have forgotten about them.

Meanwhile back in paradise, I’m sitting freezing my ass off and watching the rain pour down in what seems to be a never-ending stream  at the moment.

“Yes” she said “but at least you don’t have to go out of the house if you don’t want to.”

Damn straight!

I don’t have to go out of the house if I don’t want to.

And there’s a really good reason for it.

I like being happy.

I’ve decided that I happen to like living life in a way that has me purring like a kitten face dipped in cream.

Which is exactly why I’m sitting in my bed, all cuddled up under my warm blankie and duvet, reading Danielle LaPorte, journaling, drinking freshly ground coffee with soy milk, and listening to the pitter patter of the rain on my sliding door.

Bliss.

As I was sitting here there was an instant, just a fraction of a moment, when I felt a ping of guilt.

Here I was huddled up in my happy place when hundreds of thousands of others were dragging their moping asses around bitching and moaning about how bad the traffic was going to be with the rain, hating the jobs their going to, feeling a sense of “what’s the fucking point?” and doing it anyway because they think they don’t have a choice.

Like I said, it only lasted a split second.

Because the truth is that like all those hundreds of thousands of people I used to settle for mere existence clasped in the chains of victimhood.

I used to think that the only way to be successful in life was to finish school, get my degree, go work in a ‘well-paying’ job from eight in the morning until five at night (except as an achiever you and I both know it ends up being six in the morning until seven at night), get married, have children, get dogs for the children, get cats for the dogs, get guinnea pigs for the cats, and wondering when the fuck my sanity left the building!

Nothing made sense.

Life sure as hell didn’t make sense.

Work didn’t make sense.

The chocolate brownie wrapper under my pillow was a complete mystery.

Except it all made sense after all.

I’m starting to think we’re born happy, and then we forget what the fuck happiness is so that we can get to choose happy again.

One morning we wake up thinking ‘what’s the fucking point?’ and BOOM, we get to choose.

We can either choose to wake up every morning and think “what’s the fucking point?”, get in our cars and sit in the traffic thinking “what’s the fucking point?”, go to the office and spend the largest part of our waking day with a bunch of people we can tolerate at the best of times looking at them and thinking “what’s the fucking point?” and then get home at the end of they day exhausted and irritated because supper isn’t ready and the kids are out of control and the dog shat on the carpet and think “what’s the fucking point?”

OR

and this is a big or

because most people look at what it will take and think it’s too much effort

because it’s hard work and unless the pain of not doing this is greater than the pain of “what’s the fucking point?” you won’t do it

You can choose to start doing the real work, the inner work, the mind-set work, the going to where you’ve not had the balls to go before and forgiving and healing so you can become whole again work, and you can wake up to a dream life that you’ve created because by becoming whole you were able to see new truths and possibilities which you were not able to see before.

Sounds like a no-brainer right?

So why on earth are majority of people choosing a miserable existence over joy???

Simple.

Egotistical pride.

People are too fucking proud to get the support that they require to make the break-through.

And let me be completely honest here – I’ve yet to meet a person living a life they absolutely adore who have NOT worked with other teachers, gurus, coaches, mentors.

Never.

My cup always overflows with gratitude for every teacher I’ve ever worked with over the past two decades because I know for sure that I would never have reached this point in my life without them.

Even the ‘bad’ ones.

When you make the decision to be happy, every teacher has a lesson for you, even the ones that you miss at first glance.  In fact I’ve probably received the most learning from the ‘bad’ coaches.

Yet there’s still this whole stigma of weakness when it comes to working with someone to break the cycle of existence.

My one client who’s come back for another round of coaching sheepishly confessed that the first time he worked with me he didn’t tell a single soul.  He was too embarrassed to admit he had a coach!

This time around he’s telling every Tom, Dick and Sally because the results are so powerful that he wants people to start understanding the impact coaching has on his life.

Contrary to popular belief that coaching is for the weak, I’ve always said that coaching is not for sissies.  It takes a solid pair of balls to work with someone who has nothing to lose by being brutally honest and trusting them to share your inner most thoughts that most of the time you don’t want to share with yourself in the quest for clarity and power over your subconscious mind so you can make more conscious decisions and live a life by your own design.

It’s not easy.

You have to take egotistical pride and flush it down a toilet.

And make no mistake – I work with fucking epic high achievers who have bucket loads of pride because they deserve to be proud of themselves.

Yet there’s a difference between pride from owning your shit and pride because you refuse to let the societal mask slip.

It’s when you understand that your power is always accentuated when you energetically connect with another that true magic starts unfolding in your life.

I can’t really explain it without getting locked up in a padded cell, but it just is.

And that connection don’t happen until the moment you connect with love (love of self, love of the Universe, love of humanity, love of life, love of nature, love of faeries, whatever love you connect with) and the scales of bullshit fall off your eyes and you see the world in true colour.

At that point you start asking yourself ‘what does my dream life look like after all?’

Maybe for you it’s being in that penthouse office creating an empire with thousands of employees.

Maybe for you it’s picking up your kids laundry and preparing them a fantastic meal.

Maybe for you it’s going to your job cleaning the bathrooms so that others can have a magnificent experience when nature calls.

Maybe for you it’s sitting in bed with coffee and pen, laptop and book, listening to the rain splashing on the rose leaves outside your door.

No one is better than the other.

Because it’s YOUR dream life.

That’s the magic Darling.

It starts with a choice.

Always a choice.

Everything is a choice.

Except death.

Death IS inevitable.

But thriving is a choice.

With love always,

Anel

 

PS:  It’s coming!!!!  The big reveal will be happening on Monday but let me tell you that transformation is on it’s way!  Mind-set, yoga, journaling, swearing, laughter, red wine, love and everything in-between.  In the meantime if you’re a lady who would love to be in a community of rebels, artists, creatives and high achievers on a quest to living life on their own terms then come join us in Business Rebels today and be the very first to get the inside scoop on my newest course launching in August.

The most important question nobody ever taught me…

OMG I love my life!

I love everything about my life.

I love the fact that I continue to be the slowest runner on the island.

I love the fact that I continue to do shit in collapsed time frames that amazes even me.

I love the fact that I never stop failing.

I love the fact that I’m always open to learning.

I love the size of my brass ovaries which allows me to do things no matter how much of an idiot I look in the process.

I love my sense of humour even though I’m the only one laughing at my jokes most of the time.

LOL no wonder people call me weird.

I actually looked up the meaning of the word weird:  weird, eerie, unearthly, uncanny refer to that which is mysterious and apparently outside natural law.

I LIKE IT!

Bet your sweet ass I’m outside natural law.

But wait, I’ve gone off track again.

Really what I want to talk about today is the fact that my openness to learning, to questioning, has brought me upon the most epic transformational question which, if I had accepted the cultural bullshit I was taught, I would have rejected outright and missed out on all that fills me with joy today.

Because I it would mean that I’m selfish.

Because people would turn their noses up and say I’m full of it.

Because this question has nothing to do with anyone else, accept it has everything to do with everyone else!

You see Darling, I’ve embraced the fact that my pure reason for existence is to be in service to my soul tribe.

The born leaders, rebels, world changers, artists, creatives, high achievers who are ready to embrace their life purpose and create mind-blowingly inspirational success on their terms which in turn motivates others to wake the fuck up from the trance of mediocrity.

Mediocrity is fucking killing humanity.

Literally!

There is nothing more excruciating than the suffocation of soul purpose and when this happens the body goes into a downward spiral at the speed of a comet thereby exploding in mass destruction.

You start waking up feeling tired in the morning so what do you do?

You put some sugar (aka drugs) into your body thinking it will give you a boost.  Except it doesn’t but before that can register you squeeze your ass into a little box and go sit in traffic in a trance-like state whilst sucking on that stick of ash as if it’s the best thing you’ve ever tasted.  Then you go and sit in your little box office and you bite your tongue all day long so you don’t cause any waves because heaven forbid you should actually piss on someone else’s loafers and have them snap at you.  You sit staring at a screen searching for the meaning of life on Facebook, YouTube, News 24.  Then you get back into your coffin and pick up a bottle of relaxation on your way home and sit on your ass in front of another screen trying to escape reality whilst numbing your mind with liquid “Become an asshole”.

Oh yes I can say all of this because I used to be that stupid bitch committing soul suicide.

Because I was playing by the fucked up rules.

Because I was always putting others first.

Trying to make others happy.

Trying my damnedest to fit in and be liked and be ‘normal’.

Oh.

My.

God.

It’s not worth it!

Let me tell you right now that you are not here to serve the masses who choose to be fucking crazy!

You are not here to rescue those who choose to commit suicide.

You can’t save them.

You can’t save anyone.

People have to choose life!

They have to choose to save them fucking selves.

So then what is your job?

YOUR job is to be the best version of yourself and by living an inspirational life creating your art and speaking your truth and showing up in a way that inspires some and angers others, they get to look a long hard look at themselves and choose.

Do they choose to transform their lives and start living the best version of themselves or not?

And here’s the thing Darling – most people are just too fucking lazy to change.

Being on fire scares them because they think they won’t be able to handle the heat.

Who can blame them?  Have you seen how hot you look when you show up for yourself???

SMOKING!

Doing the mindset work seems impossible to them because they’ve stopped thinking for themselves around age one when mom and dad very well intentionally started teaching them the way of the world.

It has to be a choice.

It has to be their choice.

And it is always your choice to make as well.

All I can do is to share my journey with you.  To share the tools that have worked for me personally with you and invite you to start questioning life as you know it.

And maybe you look at me and think “Who wants to be such a foul mouthed, immature, middle-aged nutter?”

or maybe you look at me and think “OMG I want to have FUN too!  I want to love myself too!  I want to do crazy shit too!  I want to shout my truth from the rooftops too!  I want to create my art too!”

Then here’s the question I want you to ask yourself every single day from now going forward:

Are you ready for it?

This changed my life!

This changed everything!

The question is – “What do I need right now for me to feel epic and create epic and live epic and to thrive?”

That’s it!

One question.

But here’s the catch…

Of course there’s always a catch.

Insight, awareness, ideas without execution changes jack shit

You have to ask the question and then actually give yourself what you need.  Right now!

Not tomorrow.

Not when you get the next pay check.

Not when you make the next sale.

Not when your partner is in a better mood.

Right.

Fucking.

Now.

And here’s the other thing that I want to share with you – there’s a difference between ego needs and soul needs.  What I’ve found is that when I go “Oh I need a million dollars to feel epic.  Oh I need a long holiday at a five star resort to feel epic.  Oh I need a brand new double storey home to feel epic” it’s all bullshit!

It’s all fucking ego.

Because my soul always needs what is available to me RIGHT NOW!

A green smoothie.

An hour of yoga.

A red lipstick.

A walk on the beach.

A loooooong orgasm.

Yip – all available immediately.

No sweat (well, you know what I mean).

The moment I started saying YES to myself and my needs, magic started happening in my life.

I got to move to New Zealand almost overnight.

I got to build my business in a way that has me thriving.

At the moment I look at my daily schedule and I keep thinking “But when am I going to work?”

Except it’s all work.

It’s just so much fun that it’s not.

It’s soul work.

Yesterday I knew it was time to download the next course so I asked myself what do I need to feel truly opulent to create a course that’s going to change lives?  I’ve run out of refills for my Parker a while back and have been writing with cheapies because I just haven’t made the time to go shopping.  Off I went to find refills and came home with the most beautiful gold beauty.

Oh you are in for a treat!

The course is blowing my mind!

It’s gold.

So are you ready to do this thing?

Really do it?

Seriously say fuck all the martyr bullshit and trying to please others and always putting yourself last?

Done with suppressing your truth and getting real with what your soul needs?

Then answer me this : What do you need right now for you to feel epic and create epic and live epic and to thrive?

Tell me!

Right now Darling.

Hit me in the comments.

Hit me a reply.

And let me know.

Because owning it out loud is the very first step into your personal power.

No more hiding.

No more whispering.

No more playing small.

All out!

SHOW ME YOUR MAGNIFICENCE!

Because you know that death is inevitable, but thriving is a choice.

With love always,

Anel

PS:  I would love to hear more from you!  To connect more with you.  Join me on my FB page where I frequently jump on to share my inspired thoughts in real time and if you know others who are ready to wake up and thrive please do share this rambling of passion and invite them to our weird party called life. And don’t forget to let me know what you’re need right now!  Go get it xx

 

To live in flow lean into the resistance

Life is a beautiful dance of contradictions and opposites that when combined together form a swirl of delight.

So I have found it to be.

And it’s so easy and so natural and it’s not.

It’s filled with giggles and gags and tears and frustration and rage and heartbreak and so much more.

For years I’ve looked at the ‘gurus’, the ones who modern society deem successful.  I’ve studied their routines, their tools, their mind-sets, their teachings.

Yet something just wasn’t clicking for me.

I must confess, I was starting to feel that maybe there was something wrong with me.

Maybe I was broken.

Maybe I didn’t come to this life with a full toolbox.

Maybe the man whose sperm gave me form was right – maybe I was just too stupid to ever amount to anything.

Maybe.

But then again, maybe not.

Maybe instead of sitting there feeling sorry for myself and my lot in life, I could do what I came here to do in the first place:  I could question everything.

I’m considering changing my working title from Change Catalyst to Shit Stirrer because I find the most truths get revealed to me when I disturb the smooth surface presented to society and look at the dredge at the bottom.

Now in all fairness to the teachers, I don’t think they’re teaching half the truth maliciously – I think they have simply forgotten the pain of the journey which normally got them to where they are today or have bought into the BS that failure and being fully human is a weakness to be hidden in the broom closet.

Such as my yoga teacher who does toe bending to the point where I want to vomit from the agony ripping through my brain!  When I finally asked her if she hurts at all she had a puzzled expression on her face.  Noooo, this is a relaxation posture.  There’s no pain for her.  She’s forgotten the journey that got her to the point of a level of flexibility which eliminates the pain and so has lost the empathy which opens up gentle encouragement.

The flip-side is people who have experienced pain so horrible that they want to protect others from going through it.  So they make the pain ‘bad’ and tell everyone to focus on happy thoughts.  Testimonials only speak of success instead of us celebrating our clients failures!  Our failures.  Our struggles.

Which reminds me of the story of the butterfly and the little boy who tried to help it free from the cocoon only to have his father explain that removing the struggle into light killed the butterfly.  He needed the struggle to escape from the cocoon to build the strength to fly.

Thing is, you never see butterflies flocking together to get the newbie out.  Oh hell no.  They’re all flying about minding their own business looking gorgeous.  It’s up to the individual to find the willpower to break through.

This is what I’m finding to be true in my own life.

The more I work through the painful shit, the more I’m willing to really feel the full range of human emotions, the greater my joy.

The more I do those things which I feel the greatest resistance to, the more my life flows.

Turns out that just as fear lights the path to our personal growth, resistance is a huge fucking “LOOK HERE” sign to find your soul gifts, your soul purpose, your true work.

So where did humanity lose the plot?

Where did we decide that some emotions are good and we should all be encouraged to feel them, and some emotions are bad and we should suppress them, not talk about them, kill ourselves rather than feel them?

When did we decide that in order for us to be seen as having ‘made it’ everything should feel easy and flow.  When did we decide to only share the wins, only share the victories and not share the failures thereby creating the illusion that once you’ve made it, you’ve made it for life.

What a fucking joke.

One of the things that I adore about cycling is the knowing that you’re always going to fall again.  No matter how long you’ve been riding.  No matter how skilled you are.  No matter how many races you’ve won.

You’re going to fucking fall again.

And you know what?

The better you ride, the more you win, the greater your skills, the harder your falls.

Don’t take my word for it, just go watch the Tour De France and watch those pros coming down in a spectacular heap of ripped skin and blood.

They just get up faster than most new riders would.

By the end of the Tour everyone has forgotten about the spills and the drama.

But it doesn’t mean it didn’t happen.

Well Darling it’s the same in life.

Guaranteed that no matter where you are in your journey, you’re going to fail again and again and again.

Maybe it will be in business.

Maybe it will be in romance.

Maybe it will be in your health.

Just fucking get over it.

Failure is an epic part of life!

If you didn’t have failure you couldn’t possibly have success!

If you don’t feel deep sorrow you will never feel elation.

If you’re not willing to do the shit that scares you, the ones that you feel the most resistance to, the ones that you KNOW in your heart will take you next level, well then you’ll never get to experience the flow that comes from removing the obstacle.

Isn’t that just so exciting?

Isn’t that just grand?

I take my resistance to writing – I’m not even kidding.  It took me years to find the courage to start writing.  Never mind daily!  Never mind daily sending out my shit to my email list and watching people unsubscribe left right and centre, and caring enough to not care.  Because every now and again I get a personal message thanking me for changing a life, for giving hope, for encouraging.  And so I can have thousands unsubscribe if I make a difference for one.

In fact I’ve fallen in love with writing and will have my first book out in the next month or so.

Fucking crazy right?

Turns out that writing is part of my art.

Take my resistance to speaking my truth!  Thinking that nobody would like me if they knew how fucked up I really was.  How weird.  How imperfect.

Except that moving into the resistance turns out to be the healing of my personal shame and judgement.  Which turns out to be the healing for my clients personal shame and judgement.

Now I feel people can kiss my droopy ass if I’m not perfect enough for them.

I don’t want to be perfect.

I want to fall off my bike and fuck up forward and cry and laugh and fail and succeed and LIVE!!

A life worth living is a life worth thriving in my opinion and thriving means including EVERYTHING in my experience.

Yes, I’m a glutton for life.

I want it all!

Because by the time I exhale my last breath I’m going to look down on my body and think “FUCK ME GEORGIE THAT WAS AMAZEBALLS!”

I’m not going to die with regret.

I’m not going to die thinking if only…

I’m not going to die and realise that I kept myself small and hiding for a bunch of assholes who completely forgot about me a week later.

Because they have.

I’m sorry to tell you.

You’re special but you’re not so special in other people’s lives that they will think about you every second of every day.

But enough about me – this is really about you!

So here’s your journaling exercise if you feel that it’s time to get out of the fucking cocoon:

I want you to really think about the range of emotions that exist, and ask yourself where are you NOT giving yourself permission to feel all of them?  Where are you suppressing emotion which in fact is a beautiful opportunity to heal old wounds and become stronger.  A magnificent chance to appreciate the opposite side of the spectrum even more.

I want you to become curious on the impact it’s having on your life to NOT move through all your emotions.  And there always is an impact Darling.

I want you to schedule a date and time where you allow yourself the space to work through everything that is held captive inside.  If you need a professional to do this, then make the appointment.  Need a friend to talk to?  Phone her now and make a date.  Need to write it out?  Go buy yourself a brand new journal just for this and fill that baby up.

Only once you’ve cleansed your soul from the shit that is ready to be released do I want you to start looking at where in your life you are feeling resistance to doing the things that you know in your heart of heart will take you next level.  I want you to get real with yourself.  Then I want you to schedule in a time each day to do it and just fucking do it!  No excuses.  No bullshit.  Breathe through the discomfort and do it over and over and over again until you find yourself one day doing it with a smile.

Do this and you will be a changed person.

Forever.

Because for the rest of your life you will give yourself permission to FEEL, to FAIL, to SUCCEED, to be human and THRIVE!

Isn’t it worth it to thrive?

What is the alternative anyway?  Death?

You’re going to die Honey.

But today you can thrive.

With love always,

Anel

PS:  It’s official!  I am a certified yoga instructor :-). I received the download this morning that my next online program will include daily yoga practices but this is where you come in – what are you resisting most at this stage that you would love help with?  If you could manifest the perfect course right now to shift you what would that include?  Hit me a mail at anel@anelbester.com and let me know.  After all I’m here to serve YOU.  So take the lamp, rub it, you have three wishes.  What are they?  anel@anelbester.com.

 

 

How would you live your life without all the shame?

Today I’m feeling called to talk about another loaded topic.

Shame.

It all started last night on a group training call where I was taking participants through a process of redefining their relationship with money.

It appears that there is a shit ton of stress, anxiety and yes, even shame around money for a lot of people.

I should know – I was prime exhibit A not so long ago.

Which in turn took me back almost eighteen years (Seriously?  I’m getting old!) to an incident where I was at the till with a month’s worth of groceries all rung up, packed and ready to go.

Never in my wildest dreams had I ever thought I would hear the words:  “Your card has been declined”.

The earth dropped away.

I stood looking at the attendant in pure horror.

Heavily pregnant, I was unemployed for the first time in my life awaiting the birth of my first born.

Which means for the first time since the age of eighteen I was financially dependent on another person.

A person who I love with all my heart but who has a tendency to not pay as much attention to domestic matters as he does his career matters.

I could feel the blood rushing up into my face, lighting me up like a Christmas tree.

“There must be a mistake” I whispered.  “Let me just quickly call my husband and sort this right out”.

I phoned.

Oops.  He forgot to keep track and transfer the funds and it would take at least a day to clear.

Hot tears stung my eyes.  I felt humiliated.

I apologised profusely to the till attendant, the packer, the guy standing behind me, the three people in the line behind him.

And then I ran out.

Into my car.

Back to my home.

For the first time in my life I felt poor.  And God knows we were never what would be defined by society as wealthy.

In hindsight it’s rather ridiculous as we had the money, just not in the right card at the right time.

Regardless of the actual truth instead of the drama, it left a deep scar and for years after that I would be absolutely terrified every time I went to the till point. Praying vehemently to God NOT to let the card be declined.

It was.

On a couple of occasions more.

Okay so at times I can be a very slow fucking learner.

Instead of taking the lessons and always being on top of my money, I pushed my head deeper into the sand thinking that if I can just pretend to be an ostrich it would all work out fine.  Except of course we never seem to realise that the ostrich leaves a really BIG VISIBLE ASS hanging out there for all to see.

I absolutely believe in my heart of hearts that everything happens for us, and everything is about learning so that we can go to our next level thrive.

Yet we can’t go to where we want to be until we have the courage to get real about where we are AND we get the learning!

My learning was that I had to start paying attention to my money.

I had to transform my relationship from viewing money as my mother-in-law to my lover.

Because when I felt that money was a mother-in-law out to humiliate me at every possible opportunity, I treated it like shit.  I avoided it at any cost.  I didn’t want to see it.  And of course money had no choice but to respond in kind.

But now that I treat money as I do a lover, we have a relationship that will inspire poets to write sonnets for years to come.

Now here’s what I’m getting to:  This incident is a powerful part of my story, my life story, my purpose story.  Yet I’ve never shared it with anyone because somewhere deep down I still held some shame to it.  I’ve attached a negative meaning to it about myself.

As if a declined credit card says anything about me as a person.

As if a declined credit card says anything about my love, my purpose, my spirituality, my relationships, my health – quite frankly anything that is truly important to me.

Instead I let the “shame” of a moment with a complete stranger who I never saw again and who didn’t give me a second thought dictate my behaviour for almost two decades to come.

Isn’t that just dumb-ass crazy?

More importantly, when I shared the story with the participants majority of them had had similar experiences which they had never healed and it was EXACTLY what they needed to hear to move forward.

They needed to hear my experience, my insights, my learning, my healing, my questioning, my solutions, my tactics for them to go next level.

Once again my life is in service of others.

I think you will agree with me that this whole SHAME-SHIT is just another egotistical illusion which only has power over us if we choose to let it.

Who even invented the word shame FFS?  Who even decided to take those five letters and put them in that order and then give them that meaning?

My guess is some retarded fuck out to screw people over.  And by the way, he’s looooong dead my friend.

Shame is just a word that we’ve loaded with emotion.

This is super news as emotion is an inside job.

Which means at any time you can choose to feel differently.

Now I’m also going to be really fucking real with you here – it took me shit tons of work on myself to get to this point.  Years of coaching, personal development, getting my shit together and having a working accounting system.

And before you say you’re not ready to go there yet I want to tell you that you don’t have to slay the mighty dragons to get started.

After all we’re achievers and according the Enneagram our core emotion is SHAME!

Which also means it’s our biggest life lesson.

Sometimes life has a seriously wicked sense of humour.

Maybe all you have the courage for right now is to start having fun around the whole ‘shame’ or even ’embarrassment’ debacle.  For me, riding my bike was just the absolute best place to stop giving a flying fuck about what people said and instead start having fun – especially when it could make others shake their heads either in laughter or in pure horror.

That’s where I started chasing ducks howling like a mad wolf.

It’s where I started choosing the muddiest path, got stuck and fell over to cross the finish line looking like a mud wrestler and smelling like a sewer.

It’s where I would make sand angels on a ‘serious’ stage race bringing tons of smiles to those in physical pain at the time giving them something else to think about.

Sport is always a great place to start.  Mostly because everyone around you is more caught up in their shit than you but also athletes play at different rules than ‘normal’ people do.

A great place to give yourself permission to grow the fuck down and just have fun whilst looking like a complete ass.

And when feel comfortable doing the asinine thing in sport, you upgrade to the next level and start digging deeper.

Maybe you start using your ’embarrassing’ moments to stop defining you as a person and start using it to showcase your courage.

Let it become a part of your story that inspires others because way too many people are living in the dark because of this absolute bullshit called shame.

Let’s rip that word out of our dictionary along with ‘try’ and ‘average’ and ‘settle’ and ‘mediocre’.

Let’s replace them with words such as ‘learning’ and ‘strive for’ and ‘over-achievers’ and ‘desire’ and ‘epic’.

All change starts with one person and that person is YOU Darling.

YOU matter.

Your life story is powerful and needs to be told with pride and humility and from a space of serving others.

Why the fuck not?

Everyone learns.

Learning rarely takes place in comfort.

Well not the REAL learning anyway.

I’m not talking about book learning.

I’m talking about life learning.

And what can be more important than that?

What can possibly be more important than getting curious about all the events that the Universe conspires to gift us so we can learn and grow and thrive?

What can be more epic than looking back and saying “Aaaaaah that’s why the card was declined!  Because I had to learn to become the business woman who runs an international empire even when I was unemployed and pregnant.  Because I had to learn that shame is a smoke screen designed by a nameless fart that keeps people hiding in the shadow instead of stepping out into the light and letting the warmth of the sun warm them up.  Well no fucking wonder the card was declined.  Thank you thank you thank you Lord for the gentle lesson!”

Are you ready to choose life?

Are you ready to breathe in freely?

Are you ready to thrive?

Because you know it’s a choice right?

A choice you can make right now.

A choice to start getting real and looking under the bed because the monster is just a petrified little mouse.

What’s the alternative?

Death?

Well fuck you’re gonna die anyway Darling.

Why not choose to thrive a little instead?

With love always,

Anel.

PS:  Are you ready to thrive?  Are you ready to take back all your power and proudly step into the light and showcase your story to the world?  Need a little nudge and support Darling?  Who doesn’t?  And the thing is you absolutely deserve the support to live the life of your dreams.  Kick-start is thirty day of taking you from where you are to where you know you belong by dropping all the BS stories and embracing your truth, your real desires, your true goals.  You, all of you.  Unapologetically.  If you’re ready to make this level of commitment in yourself, then check out all the details here and let’s play.

 

If you don’t have time for joy then what’s the point?

I was sitting cross-legged on the couch, coffee in hand, laptop in well, lap of course.

Planning the week ahead I opened up my calendar.

My first reaction was a tightening of my chest, my breathing accelerated.

I was going into full blown panic.

There was only one hour of training scheduled a day.

What

The

Fuck????

This can’t be right!

This is simply not acceptable!

How will I ever thrive on only one hour training a day????

Which had me laugh out loud as I thought of all the thousands of people always telling me they can’t possibly find 30 minutes in their days to exercise.

Oh no, they tell me, they have jobs, they have bills to pay, they have families to look after, they have too much to do to possibly find the time to train.

Or they’re just not into fitness.

Or they’re not built for it.

Or they’re too old.

Or they’ll just never have the discipline.

They’re just not competitive.

Yawn.

Here I am, going on to 45 in a couple of months with two magnificent boys, a business, a husband, bills to pay.

I run like a duck.

I ride like a maniac.

I yoga like a retarded hippo.

So fucking what?

I’M ALIVE!

I’M BREATHING!

I’M HAPPY!

I’M THRIVING!

And ultimately to me that is what matters.

I used to have all your excuses.

And then some.

I never played sports at school because quite honestly I fucking sucked at any form of sport.  Nobody ever wanted me on their teams at break time.  I fell over my own feet whenever I tried to run.  My legs are so crooked I can’t catch a pig.  I don’t have 3-D vision so making contact with any size ball is pure luck – nothing more.

So I danced.

And I danced.

And I danced.

Until I screwed up my knees and I couldn’t dance anymore.

Now I have to admit luck was a little on my side.  Aerobics was all the rage so for a while there I could jump around in my black leggings and aqua blue g-string leotard (Oh the horror just thinking what I must have looked like ROTFLMAO).

But then the gym closed down, aerobics became yesterday’s flavour, and I was at a loss at what to do next.

I decided to become normal, quite my job, become a student and in the process unleashed from within a wild party animal.  Boozing from 8 in the morning most days, smoking more than a packet a day, doing the occasional joint – not exactly the lifestyle for any type of fitness.

Looking back, the fact that I actually passed all my exams is testament to the untapped potential within our minds!

I stopped training.

I thought I was happy.

I thought I was having a good time.

I thought this is what it’s all about.

After all I’ve never been this popular before or had so many friends.

There was always someone to pass me another drink.

Someone to laugh with at stupid shit.

Someone to open the door so I could puke.

I literally lived on Benson&Hedges, Diet Coke, Thinz and copious amounts of alcohol.  G&T’s, Whiskey and water, Brandy and Coke, Spiced Gold Rum and Appletizer, Tequila, Zambuka, wine.  Sometimes the shit I drank was so cheap it looked, smelled and probably tasted like petrol.

Happiness is right?

All the time I was poisoning my body I told myself I was in control.

Always in control.

Man was I delusional or what?

I weighed 47 kilograms and thought I was fat.

I found myself hitch-hiking at 5 am because I passed out and my drunken mates accidentally left me behind.

That’s pretty fucked up.

Next thing I knew I was married, had two little babies, sitting in a foreign country balling my eyes out.

I was miserable and seriously struggling to keep up the illusion.

Yes I had cleaned up my act and was no longer drinking like a fish or smoking.  Diet pills were a thing of the past.

But I was still existing in the realm of ordinary people.

I was trying so hard to be liked.

Trying so hard to fit in.

I found myself being a fat, bored, housewife talking about all the ways one could prepare potatoes for supper.  I suspect on the inside I was continuously rolling my eyes thinking “WTF?” except of course back then I didn’t say the F-word because I was told ladies don’t curse.

I had made time for all the wrong things in my life and I was now paying the price.

And the price was my life.

I’m so grateful that I’m one of the lucky ones.  My story has a happy ending.

I finally woke up and saw through the illusion.

I finally saw that God gave us everything that we require to truly thrive – and it’s locked within the cells of our bodies.

Right there.

Inside you.

Waiting for you.

Wanting to be released through your movement so that it can feed you with every hormone you need to focus, to feel happy, to feel empowered, to feel sexy, to feel magnetic, to feel creative, to feel loved, to feel inspired, to feel inspirational, to feel phenomenally fucking exuberant!

Nothing on the outside will ever give that to you no matter what the writing on the pamphlet promises you.

I don’t believe that any scientist has ever cracked the God code needed to simulate the powerful symbioses of your body.

Which means that when I make 2 to 3 hours of time a day to train, I’m in fact making 2 to 3 hours of time a day to thrive!  To unleash my true potential.  To activate my machine.  To keep me in the zone of my best version.  To unleash my true creativity.  To really be of service.  To live my purpose.  To be a fabulous mom to my boys.  To be happy!

If I can’t make the time to be happy, to be my best version self, then what’s the fucking point of it all?

What I don’t get is that nobody is so fucking stupid that they still don’t get this.  Nobody is so fucking thick that they don’t get that the booze is making them depressed and miserable and a dumb ass to be around.  Nobody is so fucking dense that they don’t see how they’re wasting their fucking potential and life force by sitting on the couch and dripping liquid fat and acid into their arteries.

And I sit here and I have tears pouring down my face because I want to take these people and shake them and scream

“WHAT WILL IT TAKE TO WAKE THE FUCK UP???

WHAT WILL IT TAKE TO STOP FUCKING KILLING YOURSELVES?

WHAT WILL IT TAKE FOR YOU TO SAY ENOUGH AND NO MORE AND RISE TO YOUR MAGNIFICENCE AND UNLOCK THE GOD CODE THAT IS IN YOUR EVERY CELL IN EVERY PART OF YOUR BODY AND RISE TO SUCH HEIGHTS THAT THOSE WHO ARE AROUND YOU DROP EVERYTHING AND CRY OUT IN PURE EXHILARATION!”

What will it take?

I don’t know.

But as I walked this morning breathing in the beauty of my life I prayed that you take the time to figure this out.

Because every single minute, second, that you say you don’t have the time to do what you truly desire to do, to take the time to figure out what lights you up, to take in the view of life, to take the time to train and be healthy, is a second you will never get back.

I fucked up.

A lot.

And I’m grateful that I did.

Because I paid the price.

And I paid it so others can learn from my life and save themselves the pain and time.

So others can quantum leap from existence to thriving in a nanosecond.

Because you can.

All you have to do is to choose.

To make the decision.

To move your body.

To sweat.

To fuel.

To breathe.

To thrive!

Way too many people are walking around dead already.  Way too few people are choosing to thrive.

Choose to thrive.

With love always,

Anel

PS:  I am so grateful for all I have in my life.  I am beyond grateful for my incredible boys Johan and Jaques – OMG what do I even say to you guys other than you make my cup flow over every single day.  For my husband Adriaan – thank you so much for always believing in me even in the darkest of times.  I am so grateful for my parents without whom I would not be where I am today.  I love you Mommy and Dad – in all lifetimes.  I am so grateful for my puppies who always make me giggle and my bikes Artemis, Belle and The Cookie Monster for so many amazing adventures.  I am so grateful for always drinking freshly ground coffee.  I am so grateful for my purpose.  I am so grateful for my beautiful home.  I am so grateful to live by the ocean, for walking through a forest, for always feeling safe.  I am so grateful for every lesson in life.  I am so grateful for every one of my clients, past, present and future.  I am so grateful for you – for reading this today and for being open to my ramblings of passion.    I would love to hear what you’re truly grateful for today and if this piece resonates with you in any way, please share so more people will wake up and choose to thrive.  For I am here to impact millions and there’s no way I can do that on my own.