This is probably going to sound immensely insensitive.

It might be ripping off the band-aid and sting like a wasp.

Leaving your head spinning.

Stars swimming before your eyes.

And you’ll probably hate me for it.

Because you will think I’m the cause of your pain.

You will think I’m the most inconsiderate bitch alive and you might even say I’m responsible for people feeling bad about themselves.

If that is what it takes today for you to pause and think, rage away my Darling.

Curse me if it makes you feel better.

Call me a misfit if that is what it takes for you to drop the shame and be honest with yourself.

I would rather speak my truth and have all those who avoid triggers unsubscribe if that means a single person takes pause, picks up a pen and writes down their DECISION to change – it will be worth it.

I’m just fucking done playing nice when so many warriors are fast asleep.

And yes, I’m kicking my own ass as much as anyone else’s today because I’m only getting started and this is not the time nor the place for me to be my normal slow as fuck.

Not now.

Not here.

I’m done saying only the pretty, motivating words when all the magicians are disconnected from their magic.

When the healers are dying because they’re not healing themselves!

I’m just done seeing how much regret people live in on a daily basis.

Thinking that shit is happening to them.

That they don’t have choices.

That they are powerless.

That they don’t have the resources to make their dreams come true.

I’m just done being witness to how empty people’s cups are and then they are still desperately trying to give to everyone else thinking that this will be their salvation.

So all they do all day is sit and fucking LIE!

They lie to themselves saying they are not to blame and that it will get better once they get the promotion, once they get the money, once they get the perfect lover.

They lie to Joe Public about how great things are.

How happy they are.

With their plastered on smiles and their soft bellies.

They show up all full of bravado telling people how one day they’re going to be smashingly rich, have a six pack and drive a Ferrari, sipping cocktails on the beach 90% of the time.

Then they go home.

Arriving with their bottle of wine, their discontent, their resentment of the system.

The moment the door closes the mask comes off.

Dr Jekell and Mr Hyde.

All those at their place of work, their hundreds of ‘friends’ on Facebook, wouldn’t recognise this shell of a human.



Lashing out at everyone around them of how fucking unfair life is.

How they are exhausted all the time.

How hard life is.

What a dickhead their boss is.

All the time dulling the pain with alcohol, cigarettes, food, seeking escape on Netflix, Playstation, anything but to face the one in the mirror.

The one with the accusing eyes.

The one that looks at them and say ‘You’re such a fucking loser

They vomit their self-disgust just to do it all over again.

And the ones on the receiving end.

Lying to themselves about how if they just do better they will get treated better.

Lying to their friends about how lovely life is and how fortunate they are.

All the time treading on eggs.

Too terrified to speak their truth because the venom that gets thrown their way has left them raw, terrified, huddled down in a small bleeding pulsating lump of flesh.

No longer trusting themselves or anyone else.

Too scared to even meet the eyes in the mirror.

The shame too great.

The disappointment overwhelming.

So they wait for the shower to steam up the glass reflection to soften the blow.

Everyone saying that one day their ship will come sailing in.

Everyone saying that tomorrow will be better.

They go through the motions of dreaming the big dreams.

Setting the big hairy scary goals.

Drawing up the sheets.

And then they sit and try to figure it all out.

And they don’t have a fucking clue


All they see are the obstacles.

The ‘impossibilities’.

I don’t have enough time.

I don’t have enough money

I don’t have enough energy.

I don’t have enough courage.

I don’t have enough support.

I don’t know enough.

I don’t have enough faith in myself.

And instead of just OWNING their shit.

instead of OWNING the fact that they don’t know

instead of OWNING the fact that they’re scared

instead of OWNING the fact that they don’t believe in themselves

and just LETTING GO of the BIG dream for now

so that they can focus on whatever they DO have the courage to create at this time with where they’re at and what they have available to them

They bundle up that desire with a big red bow of social approval and applause, carrying it around like a load of bricks on their backs.

All day

Every day


Bloated with self-loathing.



We are shamed for not having and being and doing it all RIGHT NOW!

YES, I truly do believe we CAN have, be and do it all.

But I also believe that wanting it all RIGHT NOW when where we’re at is NOT there is one of the ways in which we take ourselves out of the game.

One piece of wisdom my clients hear all the time is SLOW DOWN TO SPEED UP!

Your mindset, your creativity, your manifestation is all muscle Baby.

You have to work it daily if you want to make it stronger.

You wouldn’t walk into a gym for the first time in twenty years and bench-press 200 kilograms.

I mean you could be an asshole and go try because your ego is bigger than your common sense.

But you and I both know you’re going to end up in hospital – possibly damaged for life.

So why would you continuously do this shit with your life, your creativity, your resilience?

Today I invite you to absolutely give yourself permission to dream as big as you possibly can.

To write it all down.

The biggest motherfucking vision you can possibly create for your life.

Regardless of how big even THAT is not your limit.

But then I want you to pull back.

All the way back.

And to set ONE GOAL


That is your next level self

Not your ULTIMATE self

Yes, it should be scary.

No, you shouldn’t know the how.

But you have to fucking COMMIT!

That you will do whatever it takes.

That you will set yourself up for success with the right support.

That you will clear your schedule for this one thing as if your life depends on it – BECAUSE IT DOES.

I want you to surrender the how, understanding that a power far greater than you will create every single opportunity, every single resource, every single meeting, every single introduction, every single book, that you need to achieve said goal.

Own YOUR ROLE in this journey.

YOUR RESPONSIBILITY of showing the fuck up every step of the way.

YOUR RESPONSIBILITY to keep saying YES to yourself regardless of how scared you are.

YOUR RESPONSIBILITY to fail until you succeed.

YOUR RESPONSIBILITY to walk away from the negative, toxic assholes that are draining your life force.


And let go of the rest.

Get your ass in the game and play full out knowing that everyone has to start somewhere and that the more you play, the stronger you will get, the harder you will be able to play.

No more self-sabotage.

No more bullshit.

Enough already.

It’s time for us to get real.

For death is inevitable.

Thriving remains a choice.

With love always,


PS:  If you’re still reading and you KNOW in your SOUL that you’ve reached that point where you’ve DECIDED

If you know that you will do WHATEVER IT TAKES

If you know that you will FAIL UNTIL YOU SUCCEED


And if you know I’m your soulmate coach for this part of your journey

Drop me a mail and I will tell you more about what a 3 month ass-kicking to your LIBERATION with me looks like.






Fear is automatic, Courage is a CHOICE!

Fear is a hot topic these days.

People everywhere frantically trying to escape the thickening clawing at their throats.

The sick feeling in their stomachs leaving them dizzy.

The pain that grips across their chests, making it hard to breath.

Thinking there’s a secret being withheld from them.

Of how to be fearless.

They believe they simply have to learn more methodologies and proven strategies, steps and scripts.

That once they KNOW everything, the fear will dissipate.

Everything will change.

Everything will be easy.

I’m sorry to tell you this Sunshine, but that’s bullshit.

Fear is never going to leave you.

It is the sole function of your EGO to keep your physical self safe.

And she figured the best way to do that is by keeping you pissing your pants.

At the drop of a pin.

Every time she can convince you to be afraid of fear, you hesitate, you stop, and most of the times, you talk yourself out of whatever insanely exciting liberating step you were about to take.

The more she gets you in a state of fear,

the harder it is for you to move.

To connect with your creative muse,

to connect with the magic inside of you.

To believe in yourself.

To love your individuality.


Like most loved ones, she means well.  She simply wants to keep your body safe.

But what the ego doesn’t understand is that for you to do your soul work, for you to live a completely fulfilling life, you need more than a well preserved body.

You need adventure!

You need excitement!





Put on top of this the fact that some power-hungry assholes figured this out thousands of years ago, building an entire social structure based on the principle of keeping the masses enslaved through fear, and you will have a little more compassion with yourself.

Everything about modern day life is designed to stop you from thinking for yourself so you think there’s no choices available.

Everything is cleverly crafted to make you feel as if though your hands are bound behind your back so you can feel powerless – depending on the graces of others to keep you from dying.

Do you have ANY idea how many people I speak to who stay in love-less, unfulfilling marriages BECAUSE THEY THINK THEY CAN’T LEAVE????

Because according to the marriage contract they will be financially screwed?

Because others will judge and shame and abandon them?

Because they’ve devoted themselves to this institution and lost who they are in the process?

Because their ‘responsibilities’ are more important than their happiness???

What kind of system are we condoning that uses love for enslavement?

Do you have ANY idea how many people are committing suicide because they unexpectedly receive bad news, losing a job, losing a loved one, diagnosed with a disease, and they simply don’t have the resilience or the ability to connect to their true resourcefulness and so they rather go jump off a building?

What kind of fucked up system are we supporting that breeds weakness?  That has people so filled with stupid shame that they don’t ever find the self-love to reach out and ask for help?  That they suffer in silence because they feel so isolated, so misunderstood, so insignificant that they think it’s better if they die?

Do you have ANY idea how many school kids are drowning themselves in alcohol, sex and drugs because their creativity, their independent spirits, their questioning minds are being judged as unacceptable.  Their defiance to conform as little drones required by the out-dated schooling system has them so frustrated that they self-mutilate, cutting themselves to bleed just so they can remember they’re still fucking alive!!!

And then we have the audacity to say our kids are flawed and punish them, humiliate them, expel them, pump them full of drugs so they will lose the will to fight!


A system devoid of equipping our kids to be massively creative, resourceful adults.

Ready to live a life which requires thriving individuals to have an indestructible mindset – show me the mindset subjects in our schools.

A life which requires thriving individuals to fail repeatedly on their way to success – show me the curriculum that encourages and celebrates failure in school.

A life which requires thriving individuals to be happy in their own skins and embracing their complete individuality.

OMG I get so fucking MAD!

So let me just say this right now – none of us is excused from taking responsibility.

For ourselves.

We have a responsibility to live authentically.

To insist on our own happiness.

To be our best version selves.

And the only way for us to do that, is to start being courageous.


Stop thinking that any amount of knowledge will make you less fearful.

No amount of success will make you unreachable for the icy tentacles of Mistress Fear.

The moments of uncertainty.

The times of stress and insecurity.

You simply have to acknowledge the fear, you have to name the fear, you have to feel the fear,

and then

because you’re a badass

you get to CHOOSE courage.

You choose to feel the fear and take the action anyway.

You choose to feel the fear and reach out for help anyway.

You choose to feel the fear and connect with your muse for creative solutions anyway.

You choose to feel the fear and speak your truth anyway.

You choose to feel the fear and ask for what you desire anyway.

You choose to feel the fear and flip the system the bird anyway.

This is my call to the warriors!

It’s about time for you to wake up!

To stand up!

To speak up!

To choose love for humanity above obedience to the system!

To choose YOUR happiness!

I know I’m asking a lot from you.

After all, I’m asking you to rage against the machine.

I’m asking you to put yourself first which goes against everything they’ve told you.

I’m asking you to believe in yourself and to trust the magic inside which goes against everything they’ve preached you.

I’m asking you to stand up for thriving and to be fucking proud of your joy which goes against everything they’ve said makes you a nice girl.

Yet I’m not asking anything of you that I’m not asking of myself.

So yes, I know it’s scary AF.

I know it’s intimidating at the best of times.

I took my decision seriously and I set myself up for success.

And it’s your responsibility to do the same.

Stop thinking you have more than enough time to decide.

That it’s okay for you to be miserable and depressed for a little while longer.

Are you for real????

Listen to yourself!

Stop thinking that you’ll become stronger the longer you wait.

Courage dissipates quickly Darling.

You have to train your courage muscle by choosing it repeatedly and taking fast action again and again.

Fear is the constant and you simply have to start training your desires, your faith, your strength, your courage to be stronger than your fear.

I want to hear from you:

Where are you feeling most afraid in your life right now?

Where do you feel that you simply don’t have the power to make the brave decision?

What is that decision that you KNOW in your HEART will completely transform your life?

I want to know.

Because I promise you that if you can find the courage to admit it, to speak it, to share it, you will start building your brave muscle until one day you will make that decision and EVERYTHING will change.

Only death is inevitable Gorgeous.

Thriving is such a courageous choice to take.

With love always,


PS:  Ready to choose brave?

Then send a mail to to find out more about how you can work with me and liberate yourself.







When a woman finds her truth, her voice, her courage…

As I sit in bed, luxuriating in the warmth of the soft down duvet, the smell of coffee fragrantly teasing my nose, the sounds of piano keys being tickled in the background,

I can’t help but smile.

I’ve been smiling a lot lately.

Life has been unfolding in a delightful, unexpected, beautifully simplistic chaotic, way.

The way life tends to do.

It seems a lifetime ago that I lay on the grass in the open field, sobbing my heartbreak into Mother Earth.

I thought I couldn’t bare another moment of the unappreciated existence which I felt was my life.

I was so done with the feeling that no matter what I did, no matter how much I gave, it was never good enough.

I was not good enough.

I was so over the feeling of being invisible.

Screaming in silence as my words fell on deaf ears.

I had never felt more isolated,  more alone.

My soul a stained glass window,  broken shards held together by mascara, wine, chocolate and empty calories.

I couldn’t imagine having one more frivolous conversation with someone about something which didn’t really matter.

When all I wanted to do was scream ‘I’M FUCKING DYING!’

A truth which I knew inside.

Yet I couldn’t quite figure out what to do about it.

How to stop the insane rollercoaster ride where I felt so out of control, holding on for dear life, praying to God that the tracks don’t run out.

Everywhere I turned I saw false smiles, people barely coping from one day to the next, continuously rushing, continuously accumulating more debt to increase the already suffocating burden in a desperate attempt to be happy.

I saw women no longer trusting women.

After years of backstabbing, pity parties and bitching, we’ve forgotten how to uplift each other, inspire each other, appreciate that bond unique to us.

And on the floor of nature, I’ve spent a lot of my time on the floor, I sobbed it all out.

Little did I know that it’s in the moments we break open, in the moments we surrender, in the moments where we as women finally decide enough and no more, that we come alive.

By the time I got home I felt lighter.

I felt that something had shifted.

And I knew that for me to continue shedding the layers of old, the lies, the bullshit, for me to continue on this new path I had placed my feet upon, I would need guidance and support.

I signed up with the most unexpected coaches, from business building to pussy-healing, who guided me to find my truth, my voice.

I am so grateful to these women who have courageously stepped into their power in service of women like me.

Appreciation which I continue to show by living in service to my soulmate clients.

You are the reason I stay the path.

They guided me to start questioning all that I believed up to that point.

To believe in myself.

They never gave me a single answer.

Only more questions.

It was the start of the most empowering, most liberating experience of my life.

I started looking outside of the methodologies we’re taught for success and discovered that as women, we do life, we do business, we do creation, we do pleasure, very different from the boys.

I remembered the immediate transformation that wild dancing brings to my energy.

When I allow the strands of a sexy melody to caress and move my limbs like an attentive lover who intrinsically understands what brings me pleasure, I allow all the emotions to flow through me.  Bringing sweet release.  Bringing sweet joy.

I remembered the thrill I get from beauty and the power in allowing myself to receive it.

Beautiful candles, silky fabrics caressing my skin, the turn-on I get from a lacy panty, the delight I get each time I consume my food with my eyes.

I remembered that true healing is not gained from therapy but from forgiveness.

Forgiving all those who have taught me the toughest of lessons in life.  Appreciating the love their souls have for me, that they were willing to participate in my journey at this level.

Forgiving myself for my part in the events.  As high achievers it’s easy to take responsibility from a space of shame and blame. The trick comes from taking responsibility from a space of compassion and curiosity to gain insight.  To stay open to seeing the breadcrumbs that we’ve left for ourselves to find our way home.

I remembered that true love starts with the woman in the mirror.

OMG it took me forever to hold my gaze and tenderly say “I love you, you are beautiful, thank you”

Yet the moment I could finally say it and mean it, the empty feeling I had inside filled with liquid gold.

I remembered that I am never alone and that all my power comes through me but is not of me.

I started writing to my higher self and not surprisingly, she wrote back.

In fact, most of the time you read my words, you are in fact reading hers.

I simply get out of the way and offer my fingers up to her voice.

I remembered that as a woman, pleasure is my fuel.

Not competition.

Not grinding.

Not breaking myself in the process.

Each time I allow myself to open to a new desire AND I insist on receiving it in a way that feels yummy, my energy goes up.

Life is good my friend.

Life is so good.

Now before you think I have it all worked out and sorted, I don’t.

In so many ways I feel like I’m only starting to wake up.

In so many ways I’m always feeling like a novice.

Because I believe we always are.

I believe that as long as we stay curious, hungry to remember more, we are growing.

And for me, growth is what life is all about.

A friend told me this week that she gets the sense of a tornado when she thinks about me.  That I should just stand on the outside and look in so I don’t lose my shit.

Because yes, when a woman wakes up to herself, when a woman takes a stand for her joy, her message, her truth, shit hits the fan.  Your physical world cannot remain the same.

It’s scary AF.

Because we’ve been so socialised to think predictability and safety is the ultimate goal.

It’s not.

Growth is.

And there’s very little safety in growth and very little growth in safety.

Ultimately though, feeling safe, like every single feeling, is a choice.

I don’t have to stand outside the tornado Darling.

I’m in the eye of the storm.

The quietest

most peaceful

place on the earth.

I watch as chaos reigns around me, everything I knew being uprooted and spun around in seeming destruction,

yet I trust

even when I hit moments of pure panic and hysteria

I believe

everything happens for me 

and I always ask for the grace of Goddess that all will happen for the highest and greatest good of all concerned.

So I watch, patiently, lovingly, knowing that everything will land in divine order, in divine timing, always.

Ultimately I never believed that I came to this life to stay safe and comfortable – I LOVE adventure way too much.

I believe I’m alive to awaken.

To question.

To challenge the system.

To speak a new truth where love is more powerful than the reigning system of fear.

I believe I’m here to lead the way for those who are ready to follow.

I believe that we’re all worthy, of true love, fulfilment, joy, power, liberation, freedom, abundance.

I read somewhere that men disconnected from their emotions with the purpose of finding a way to reconnect with it – their forgotten power.  As women, we took a vow of silence so that they may find their own way.  We have reached the time when our vow has come to completion and we have to find our voices once more.

THIS, is our awakening.

I believe every woman has an important story and it’s time we share.

From a space of celebration.

From a space of co-creation.

From a space of sisterhood.

From a space of collective healing.

From a space of love.

For only death is inevitable,

Thriving always remains a choice.

With love always,

Your fellow traverser of life, Anel

PS:  Does the vibration of my message resonate with a long-forgotten part inside of you?

The part of you that remembers you are magical.


Deserving of joy, love and abundance.

Does it ring true when I say to you that you are a powerful creator, an artist, a born leader, that you have something to share and you know people are ready to receive your gift?

More importantly, are you ready to rise above your fears and liberate yourself?

I know how scary it is.

Even taking the first step seems like an impossible ask.

But what is the alternative Darling?

Mere existence.

Continuing to wake up exhausted, frustrated, depressed?

If my words have been speaking to you, I ask you find just 20 seconds of insane courage inside of yourself.

Just enough time to drop me a mail and find out more about Liberation.

I took a stand for my freedom, my joy, my thrive in service to you.

The ball is now in your court.








You can’t domesticate a wild woman and expect her to thrive!

I didn’t question the voice.

The calling.

To run.

In the dark.

No light.

No guidance.

Just run.

As I approached the end of the street lights there’s a hesitation, fear slowly slinking her sneaky way from my mind into my muscles.

What the fuck was I thinking?

This is completely irresponsible.

Nobody even knows where I am.


my feet keep moving.

My body screams for silence – I obey, pausing the passionate blast of Eminem, pulling my earphones to my neck.


It’s dark.

The forest blocking out the soft glimmer of stars which I knew was somewhere up above.

My hand simply blends into the shades of black in front of my face.

My feet unsure.

What I wouldn’t give to be barefoot, to feel my connection to earth.

There’s an overwhelming desire to stop.

To turn around.

The trusted voice no longer making sense.

It’s been a while since I’ve put myself in a physically vulnerable place.

In fact, the last time was in South Africa.

I’ve become comfortable in my safe little paradise.

But I’m on a journey of liberation Darling.

Liberation from my programming.

Liberation from my inhibitions.

Liberation from my fear.

My word for 2018 is FREEDOM and apparently freedom is not for the faint of heart.

I tell myself to just keep taking one more step.

Just one more step.

As long as I find the courage for one more step, I’m okay.

Tears start spilling from my eyes.

I might be brave

but I’m fucking petrified.

I can’t fool myself.

I simply have to let the feeling move through me.

Allowing the fear to fuel my body with adrenaline.

The silence is complete.

The only sound that of my breath.

And just when I think I actually fucking CAN’T take it anymore, the mantra comes through.





Over and over.

It becomes the drum which dictates the beat of my stride.

I feel the shift.

Where I normally land on the balls of my feet, I’m landing flat.



Where I normally let my arms half dangle by my sides, they pump purposefully.

My breath slows down.

My heartbeat stable.

And I keep moving.



Praying that the angels will not leave my side and that soon I will find the purpose of this insane run.

Because I know that everything happens for me.

I know that every time I say yes to my soul, my soul gifts me gold.

I keep going until

I remember

I remember days when a warrior ran into battle

Trembling but determined.

With solid footing.

With heart beating.

The warrior in human form but with animal instinct!

The howl rips from my throat





And I break open a little further than before

In that howl I feel her break free!

My inner wild woman – the one that I’ve suppressed for so long in order for me to be accepted by the masses who fear the extraordinary.

I remember

Wo I am


The wild one

I never came here to be a tame domesticated animal,

lying around all day begging for love and attention.

I was never born to live in captivity.

I was never born to be dependent on the graces of others.

I was born WILD.

Wild beast

Wild passion

Wild power



Honour filled.

I, who give myself permission to own my shit, my desires, my thrive.

I, who have the courage to speak my truth in a time when my truth goes against the accepted values, norms and beliefs.

I, who dare to be vulnerable and raw and unpolished.

I, who dare to dance with abandon at the most inappropriate times.

And I spontaneously start laughing.

The tears of fear turns into tears of celebration.

THIS is why I was called to run in the dark today.

To remember.

To reconnect.

To liberate.

What will it take for you to remember Gorgeous?

What will it take for you to remember that you were not born in captivity?

You were not born to have a muzzle silence your screams of outrage, of passion, of freedom?

What will it take for you to remember that you are wild for a reason?

  • It’s in your wildness that you will find your passion.
  • It’s in your wildness that you will find your courage.
  • It’s in your wildness that you will find your purpose.
  • It’s in your wildness that you will find your inner goddess!

You will find the strength which will take you into the dark, through the dark.

You will find the pleasure you so desperately seek, fulfilment from joy.

You will find the love and deep connection you’re so hungry for.

You will find the vision for the empire that you’re called to birth and you will unleash the creative thought required to build it.

Everything you want is right there, inside of you.

The wildling sitting in a cage constructed by your fear.

I want you to own the fact that a wild animal will never thrive in captivity.

Regardless of how bejewelled and prettified they are for the audience.

A wild woman will never thrive as a domesticated animal.

She loses her sparkle.

She loses her passion.

She loses her drive.

And then we wonder why more than half of the human population is depressed.

Because  a woman who suppresses her true nature can never be fulfilled and a man who lives with the shadow of his beloved will never find his soul.

He needs her to be her wild self.



A goddess in human form.

If you’re reading this thinking I’m stark raving mad, keep existing right on.


If you’re reading this and there’s a thickening in your throat, there’s tears forming behind your eyes,



Release your wild.

Liberate your beast.

Reclaim your soul.

It’s time.

Only death is inevitable.

Thriving wild, is a choice.

With love always,





Remembering that you are the creator of your own reality. Through your emotions. Through your thoughts. Through your words.

That means throwing out the rule book of the oppressors.

Fuck their steps and systems.

This takes courage my friend – because you will be FULLY responsible for your outcomes.

You said you wanted to be empowered.

Well, let the exhiliration of freedom rush through your veins!


Admitting what you truly want!  All of it.  No settling.  Being completely un-fucking-reasonable.  Diva divine.

Some of the most liberating words I was ever told is that a woman should NEVER have to choose.  A woman should have ALL that she desires.


Stomping down that sexy foot of yours and declaring to the Universe what you’re no longer available for and INSISTING on what you will accept as your new normal.


To the point where anything else is like WTF?


I know that you’re a magical beast. Witch of the old ways. Wise woman of lifetimes past.

I know that inside of you there’s a crone who has a shit ton to teach the lost ones of modern day society.

I know that inside of you is a voice, a story, a message which demands to be heard.

A healer, a bard, an artist waiting to be unleashed.

A goddess, an angel, a warrior with a mission.

And not doing so is fucking selfish!

It’s inconsiderate and it’s not the deal you made for this lifetime.

I’m ready to show you the way.

I’m ready to hold you to your truth, to reconnect you with your desire, to ignite your voice.

Are YOU ready?

Send me a message and find out more about Liberation.







There’s no power in silence and isolation!

Lovely how the wheel of life keeps turning…

Just when you think that things are so screwed up that you’ve lost the battle

YOU reach your point of enough and no more.

I reach my point of enough and no more.

WE reach our point of enough and no more.

And we start questioning.

Everything they told us in the current political, social and religious reign.

We start looking beyond the smoke screen and we see the fear they use to cloak our curiosity.

We start looking beyond our shame and we see the guilt they use to disconnect us from our pleasure.

We start looking beyond our hurt and we see the little boxes they use to hide our creative brilliance.

Yet awakening is only the first step.

And normally the most challenging, the most painful, the scariest, the loneliest part of the process.

I remember sitting for hours on end thinking I’d gone stark-raving mad!

That I couldn’t possibly share with others the darkness I found hidden inside.

The horrible sadness that seemed to consume me at times.

I tried speaking to some trusted friends and allies but couldn’t quite find the words so they fumbled in confusion and told I’ll be okay, it will blow over, but nobody told me HOW I would ever find my way back to normality.

Whatever the fuck normal was.

In retrospection I believe “NORMAL” was the problem in the first place.

I finally turned to the medical fraternity and they gave a convenient label, a box of pills and the number of a therapist.

Pills that kept me so out of touch with my feelings, I was nothing more than a hollow shell walking around saying the shit people wanted to hear just to make them happy.

Happy was such a foreign concept at that time.

As long as they were smiling I thought they were happy.

As long as they patted me on my head, my ass, I was behaving in a pleasing manner that made them happy.

A therapist who encouraged me to revisit all the pain, all the trauma of decades which I had put behind me without ever guiding me through forgiveness, appreciation and learning.





Moments of disillusionment of the true meaning of family

Times of betrayal by those whom I trusted implicitly

She made me relive this shit over and over and over

Ripping into me leaving me raw, bleeding, wanting to vomit

And then

The alarm would go off

She would hand me a tissue – “Our time is up.  Now go home and be gentle with yourself”.


Years of labels, pills and therapy did nothing but take me further down into a black pit of shame

Most people didn’t even know I had ‘depression’.

Most people didn’t even know I was struggling to get through the days.

In fact, the first time I told my husband he was floored.

He couldn’t understand.

What the fuck was wrong with me that I couldn’t be happy with my white-picket fence life?

What the fuck was wrong with him as a man, as a husband, that he couldn’t keep me happy?

I saw the pain in his eyes and immediately felt the weight of shame, guilt, blame

I shut down further!

Feeling like an utter failure

As a wife

As a mom

As a daughter

As a woman


CLEARLY I was responsible for making others feel bad, which is probably why I was labelled the black sheep of the family,

and according to my upbringing it’s our sole mission in life to make others happy.

We are responsible for their success.

We are responsible to keep them safe.

Regardless of how it breaks us down in the process.

As women, mothers, wives, sisters, we are expected to take whatever disrespect, whatever violence, whatever insults, gets thrown our way.

We have to take it, turn the other cheek, keep smiling, keep serving, keep loving.

We have to be a lady on the street and a slut in the bed – so I was told.

Lie on your back, close your eyes, and do your duty.


Our bodies are continuously shamed, our natural rhythm, our menstruation, becomes an inconvenience to the world.  It embarrasses anal men so we teach our daughters to hide it.  It has been made dirty.  Young girls are asking for tablets that will stop the bleeding because it’s interfering with their performance.

We’re told that we are not sexual beings and that women don’t actually enjoy sex.

Are you kidding me????

The women I know happen to be ten times hornier than their male counterparts so quite frankly if your woman constantly has a headache, maybe it’s time for you to learn how to turn her on.

Because I can tell you that she sure as hell knows by now how to turn herself on Darling.

I know it’s not much better for men, but since I don’t have a penis I can’t speak from their point of view.

I can share my story.

I can share my perspective.

I can share my truth that ALL OF THIS IS COMPLETELY BONKERS!

And the more we keep quiet about it

The more we hide the fact that we get miserable not because there’s something wrong with us

but because there’s something SERIOUSLY FUCKING WRONG WITH THE SYSTEM

the more we condone the status quo.

My depression had nothing to do with my husband, my kids, my parents, my car, my bank balance, my home,

My depression had nothing to do with my past and all the hard lessons I’d received along the way

My depression had everything to do with the fact that I WAS COMPLETELY OUT OF INTEGRITY!

I am a witch who had disconnected from my magic.

I am a creature of abundance who had suppressed my true desires to live on crumbs.

I am a born artist who stopped unleashing my art to the world.

I was not showing the fuck up for you and I was not speaking my truth.

For that I apologise.

And I made a promise to myself that I will ALWAYS speak my truth going forward.

Even when my truth scares the shit out of me at times.

Even when my truth brings retaliation and bruises at times.

Even when my truth has me losing ‘friends and family’ left right and centre.

I finally understand that others abandoning us is a natural process of personal growth and individual choice,

the abandonment of self

That’s NOT natural

It’s heartbreaking


And the reason why so many people are feeling so fucking sad!

The more we think that labels and pills will save us

the more we give away our power

the more we get caught up in codependent relationships toxic to our creative muse

the further away our magic retreats

because we’ve made the magic wrong.

We’ve made our power wrong

we’ve made our bodies wrong

we’ve made our desires wrong

we’ve made our dreams wrong

we’ve made our truth wrong

we’ve made our sexuality wrong

we’ve made our individuality wrong.


We get so caught up in our ‘roles’ and ‘gender’

that we forget that first and foremost we came to this life as an individual, creative, talented, filled with desire for beauty and adventure, purposeful soul.

The roles they assign you is just another clever ploy to keep you so fucking busy that you never have the energy to fill up your cup.

The responsibilities they pile onto you is so over the top insane that you never have the capacity to think creatively.

They’ve told us that love wears a ring, that love has sex in missionary position, that love is hard work, that love is martyrdom, that love makes you so dependent on another for your happiness that when they leave or die, you die.

Fuck that shit Sister.

It’s time for us to break the silence and to co-create a world of true abundance, beauty, art, joy, orgasmic toe-curling pleasure, laughter, love, shine!!

What would YOU look like if you were feeling fully in receiving?

If you believed ALL of your desires, big, small, outrageous, were good and available to you right now?

What would YOU feel like if you woke up in the morning fully turned on, buzzing with creative energy and possibilities?

What would YOU be doing if you gave yourself permission to always follow your heart and live in flow?

What would YOU be saying if you always had the courage to speak your mind and let it fall where it may?

I would love to hear from you!

Drop me a mail and share!

Seriously, just sitting there daydreaming, keeping it to yourself, ain’t gonna get results Gorgeous.

Break the silence.

Share the vision.

Speak it into form.


The only reason you wouldn’t is because you’re afraid – what will she think?  will she judge me?  will she tell me I’m being ridiculous?  and then what?  what will she expect from me?  what will she demand of me?

So let me tell you

I’ll think you’re a badass courageous magnificent beast who can truly achieve ALL and MORE that you claim.  I won’t expect jack from you.  I won’t demand a single thing.  I will infuse your dreams with my magic because that’s simply what happens when we start sharing our dreams – more power.

Death is inevitable.

Living a life of thrive, that’s a choice Darling.

With love always,


PS:  Come play with me and the wild ones in Wild Woman Rebels.






I’m giving myself permission to be blunt today.

I fucking refuse to continue playing this game.

The game that people are stupid.

That they don’t know any better.

That they’re made of porcelain and that the truth will break them.

That they honestly think they can poison their bodies on a daily basis and not get fat and sick.

That they honestly think they can shame others and not be drenched in shame themselves.

That they honestly think they’re justified to rule through physical and verbal violence and abuse expecting love, loyalty and respect in return.

That they honestly think they can sit on a chair day in and day out, never moving ass, and not pick up back pain.

Let’s stop insulting each other’s intelligence.

I know they know better.

I’m done listening to those who tell me that I need to be more patient and sympathetic with people when they’re committing suicide right in front of my eyes!

I’m done keeping my opinion to myself when I see millions of people not only screwing themselves over, but every person they encounter or DON’T encounter because they don’t have the balls to show the fuck up and do their soul work.

I’m done watching people crumble with sorrow and regret when they think nobody is looking because they fucked up and instead of turning their lives around they sink deeper into depression.

They neglected those they love, those who gifted them the privilege of sharing part of their journey, because they chose alcohol and empty entertainment on a 50 inch screen as a means of escaping their bullshit choices in life rather than (wo)man up to their mistakes, taking corrective action, getting focused, and thriving!

I’m done seeing the masks slip and slide as men, women and children are desperately and exhaustedly trying to save each other because the sorrow is tangible even when their lips say they’re happy, when the only one who they need to save is themselves!




And stop telling me that you don’t have a choice.

You ALWAYS have choice.

You can choose to be a victim OR you can choose to be a victor.

You can choose to hide under the piles of bullshit that you can’t possibly do what you REALLY want to do because you’ll be letting too many people down.


Worse – it’s letting YOU down!

And it’s YOUR LIFE!

You can choose to keep telling me it’s too hard for you because you’re too far down the rabbit hole and I don’t understand or you can choose to GO ALL THE WAY DOWN AND HIT THAT ROCK BOTTOM WITH SUCH FORCE THAT YOU SKY ROCKET TO THE TOP!

You can choose to keep telling yourself that you’ll get your shit together tomorrow, next week, next month, next year or you can own the fact that DECISION IS IMMEDIATE AND AS LONG AS YOU POSTPONE ACTION YOU’VE NOT COMMITTED TO THE MOTHERFUCKING CHANGE AND YOU ARE JUST PAYING LIP SERVICE.

You can pretend not to know the answers.

You can keep telling me you’re not daring to dream because you can’t figure out the how…

You can keep telling me you’re not taking action because you don’t know the proven strategy…

You can keep telling me you’re not ready to commit to success because your relationships are complicated…

or you can choose to finally WAKE THE FUCK UP AND THRIVE!

It’s not that you don’t know,

you’re not stupid,

you’ve simply been brain-washed and put into a slumber to dull the pain of your potential being pissed down a drain!

You’ve simply allowed your balls / ovaries to shrink up, dry up, rolling away under the couch.


I happen to know for a fact that you have it inside of you.


Everything you need to know to build your empire,

is inside of you.

Your personal blueprint to success.

Everything you need to make you smile

is inside of you.

Your desires are gifted to you because your Soul KNOWS what makes you happy.

You just have to remember how to ask for what you want and how to receive it without all the coy shit of ‘OMG is that for me??? Really?  You shouldn’t have’.

Everything you need to overcome physical pain

is inside of you.

Your body is the most advanced chemist in the world with hormones and connections the most brilliant of scientists have not figured out yet.

Everything you need to overcome adversity

is inside of you.

Your mind is the most powerful asset you will ever receive in your lifetime my friend.

But you have to start using her.

Use it or lose it.

That’s right

every time that you refuse to think for yourself, a piece of your brain dies

every time you drown her in a sea of alcohol, a piece of your brain dies

every time you choose to pop that tablet to take you far far away, a piece of your brain dies!

That’s how they keep you ‘stupid’ so you will mindlessly serve the machine.


Everything you need to have that goddess sexy body you’re always talking about

is inside of you.

You don’t need those fat burners.  You need to nourish her.  You need to move her.  You need to pleasure her.

She will take care of the rest.

Everything you need to have mind-blowing pleasure

is inside of you!

Everything you need to have iconic levels of health

is inside of you!

Everything you need to have an out-of-body experience

is inside of you!


And when you stop your petulant whining you will admit that you know it too.

You can tell me that I’m a royal bitch!

That I’m an insensitive cow.

You can rage because I’m never satisfied with your mediocrity.

You can keep telling me that you’re simply not like me,

and maybe you’re not,

maybe you’re choosing to play small,

maybe you’re choosing to hide your fucking magnificence because you’re too scared to shine




I am slow as fuck

in all areas

I owned this ‘weakness’ a long time ago

I’m never going to be a sprinter

So I trained resilience


I trained my mind, my body, my spirit to be an endurance machine!

When others throw in the towel, I pick it up, I wipe off the sweat, I wipe off the tears, the snot, the blood, and I KEEP GOING!

It’s my choice!

I could have used my ego to keep me small.

To say that because it takes me longer to get somewhere than others I’m not good enough.

To walk away from everything I love saying that I simply have no natural born talent.

I chose instead to change my point of focus.

I stopped fucking around in the short term and I focus on the end game.

I stopped surrounding myself with those ‘who understand’ and started chasing those who wouldn’t slow down for me.

Those who never once gave me an ounce of sympathy.

Whatever you’re using as your excuse for not showing up, is nothing more than your potential power untrained.

It’s the gifts from the Universe that allows you to grow those parts of you that will be your greatest asset.

But that’s not going to happen as long as you choose to feel sorry for yourself, as long as you choose to surround yourself with sympathisers, as long as you choose to label yourself as faulty, as long as you stay with those for who ‘your average is good enough’.

Fuck good enough!




Stop settling for smiling when you can have belly-aching laughter.

Stop settling for ‘dutiful’ sex when you can be having spiritual orgasms.

Stop settling for good when you deserve great!

That’s it!

That’s all I have to say on this.

It’s time for you to realise that death is inevitable.

Have you chosen to thrive yet?

With love eternal,

Anel “The Bitch”





Sometimes I have to break down to break through.

As my feet sank into the ice cold sand, coffee in hand, patiently waiting for the ball of fire to crest the horizon, I looked right with slight apprehension.

It was time for an uncomfortable conversation with God.

I still struggle with this at times – never underestimate the power of indoctrination.

I was raised in a christian home where I was told to fear God.

That I was born a sinner, bad, dirty, unworthy.

I had to grovel and kiss ass.

If I didn’t obey ‘his’ rules I would burn in hell for all eternity.

I had to go through the ‘dominie’ to pray and then hand over my 10% to the ‘diaken’ fervently hoping that it will be enough to buy my way into heaven.

I’m getting there, slowly but surely peeling back the layers of fear-laden lies – owning my shit, reconnecting to the inner knowing that I’m a god-particle and that Goddess is pure love.

Life has been good lately, to the point that I’m almost feeling guilty walking on the beach, knowing that my conversation is about to go down for wanting more.

Surely I should just be grateful for all that I’ve been receiving which I know is more than billions of others.

Shit tons of joy.

More magic than I’ve experienced in ages.


Dreams coming true.

Receiving all that I’m asking for and then some.

From the outside people are telling me how ‘easy’ my life looks and how it’s not fair that I get to have fun each day, working with soulmate clients I absolutely adore, moving my body in new ways that is creating greater levels of strength and flexibility.

Except change – whether defined as good or bad – is never effortless.

It requires continuous focus.

It requires massive amounts of energy.

It requires discipline to keep your shit together when you’re being challenged.

It would be so easy to fall apart every time I encounter an obstacle.

To sit down with everyone else.

To bitch and moan at the tea party.

It would be so easy to throw in the towel every time the climb to the top became too much for my burning quads.

I’ve learned to be a resilient little bitch.

Over the years I’ve been gifted with abuse, verbal, physical, sexual, people who broke me down.

Left for dead on the floor time and again.

Having to find the strength from within to rise.

To crawl.

To stumble.


I’ve been gifted with systems and cultures of pure oppression, imprisoning the masses through codependent ‘love’ and fear.


I’ve been stabbed in the back so many times you can create a tattoo from all the scars.


I learned a long time ago that moments of ‘weakness’ in the wrong company would lead to punishment or sympathy.

Both disastrous for my success.

I only show my underbelly in the space created by my coach.

Where I can release all the pent up frustration, un-faced fears, confusion, doubt, in a space of deep acceptance, where I never get rescued but am allowed to ride out the wave until I can reconnect to my wisdom again.

Sometimes I go directly to Source.

I continue walking and I take a deep breath.

Unexpectedly I start feeling tired.

It’s been a challenging few months of continuous smashing glass ceilings.

I let that wash over me.

I’ve been making the tough decisions I’ve not had the courage to make before.

I let that flow through me.

For the first time in my life I’m falling in love with myself.

Every day.

I let that embrace me.

I start off by telling God how deeply thankful I am for all the blessings in my life.

Appreciative of all the amazing changes that has come to fruition.

Yet I’m frustrated.


I’ve come so far

Yet I feel a block remaining

And I’m doing all the work

all the introspection

every single day








and reconnect with the ancient magic I FEEL lying within me.

I release all constraints on emotion and listen to my voice rise with passion







And then

It happens

I break

I break down

I break open

Deep sobs racking my body

Tears streaming down my face

Sweet release of all which I was unaware of holding in.

The radiance of the sun breaks his first rays over the horizon, lighting me up

and I hear the voice inside my head

“You have to allow yourself to break down so you can break through”


I get it.

In a society where I’ve felt unsafe since my first breath, I’ve become a master warrior.

I’ve trained my body and my mind to be indestructible.

I’ve embraced every blow, every heartache, and I have used the wounds to grow scar tissue,  making me tougher.

But magic doesn’t come from strength alone.

Magic comes from love.

Love comes from emotional connection.

With ourselves.

It comes from embracing all our thoughts, all our experiences, all our relationships, all our parts.

It comes from allowing it all to flow freely through us.

Which is terrifying.

We’ve been told that certain emotions will destroy us.

They’ve been branded as unacceptable and coloured by old wive’s tales of how they will lead to abandonment, loneliness and eventual death.





We’re given a wide variety of narcotics to suppress those emotions

whether anti-depressants





you name it,

they’ve created it in laboratories and factories, sanctioned by the government.

Any emotion that would lead to an outburst of expression has been labeled as destructive and we’ve been told to suppress it.

What they’re not telling you is that disconnection from emotion is in fact disconnection from your magic my Darling.

The voice keeps speaking.

‘Magic comes from trust.’

Trust in divine timing and truly believing that all happens for you.

I’ve always been very honest about the fact that I’m quite the impatient witch.

I’ve demanded AVALANCHES of abundance, not always appreciating the constant flow which has been my supply.

Now, looking back, I can see that whilst my personal creation was but a seedling she would have been washed away in a downpour of water.

Instead, in eternal love and wisdom, I was gifted with a mist-rain.

Which, in retrospection, was perfect.

NONE of this wisdom would have come forth had I not allowed myself to break down whilst having coffee with Goddess.

None of this would have been available to me had I not listened to the whisper in my heart which insisted I take a cup of coffee down to the beach and watch the sun rise.

None of this would have been received had I not given myself permission to cry, to listen from within, to receive.

So often as high achievers we get caught up in being the warrior.

The strong leader for all those around us.

To put on the brave face so that everyone who follow us will feel confident in our decisions, trusting us to show them the right way.

Except all ways are right.

All decisions are always perfect.

Everything unfolds in divine timing.

And it’s been my personal experience that we receive these nuggets of wisdom and insight in the moments we let ourselves break down our structures, our barriers of safety,

when we allow our emotions to overtake us

tears to be flow unashamedly

releasing control




I believe it is the responsibility of every leader, creative, artist, healer, achiever to seek out spaces of safety for deep, vulnerable, introspection.

Whether that space is with a trusted mentor, coach, mastermind partner or God herself.

It’s up to you to ensure you have the support whilst letting your emotions run free so that you may connect with your magic and bring forth your empire of impact in a way that feels liberating.

Don’t expect your partner or friend to hold this space.

They have a vested interest in the outcome and it’s not fair on them.

They want to see you happy.

They struggle with your pain.

They want to make it all better.

I believe it’s the responsibility of each and every person alive to start questioning the system, the truths we’ve been told to swallow without investigation, to start the personal healing required to bring global healing to humanity so that we can bring an end to the reigning insanity where misery, disease and fear is lining the pockets of those in power.

I believe it’s the responsibility of every parent to reclaim their shattered souls so that they may break the cycles of poverty, abuse and addiction so prevalent in our homes.

I believe it starts with me.

Doing the work.

Sharing my story.

With the intention that it will spark a desire in YOU

to do the work

to share your story.

I believe it is though sharing our stories that we will finally claim our personal truths and the more people who find the courage to share their learnings and insights, the faster magic can be returned to us.

I believe it is YOUR time now and I do believe that you are ready.

But you have to choose to believe it for yourself.

That’s free will Sexy.

For only death is inevitable,

Thriving truly is a choice.

With love always,


PS:  How would it feel to build an Empire completely aligned and in serive to your true mission?

To create a life of flow which always includes a rocking body and tons of energy?

How would you like to have relationships that has you gasping with delight from your clients to your kids to your lovers to your friends?

More energy and creativity than you’ve ever experienced because you’ve left behind the realm of mere mortals and connected with your soul?

YES you can have it all and more.

It starts with a decision followed by action.

If you’re ready to stop playing small, to stop marinating in misery and to step onto your stage of life, I invite you to take a look at Liberation and apply today.









Show me that you have some skin in the game!

Holy cow with ice cream cones

The ego is a devious little bitch.

She makes you think that you’ve won the battle

That you’re a badass rocking it out

And you FEEL it.

In your bones.

In your blood.

In your head.

Except it’s all just smoke and mirrors Baby-face

Unless you’re on the field




Your breath burning the fire of LIFE into your belly.

I see it all the time

Not just in the lives of others

But in my own.

Every time I step up, willing to get uncomfortable, seeking out my next level goals,

my next level thrive,

I start looking around to see what else is possible in the realm of humanity

Through witnessing the rise of others I can easily get caught up in the emotional reaction

filling me with excitement

vibrating a little higher

Until I wake up one morning and I ask myself,

where is the evidence that I’ve actually PUT MYSELF IN THE GAME?

Have I truly specified the vision

Committed to manifest that shit no matter what?

Have I paid the entry fee?

Have I put my details out in the big bad world for all to see?

Have I invested in my success?

Signing up with the coach?

Am I surrounded by the A-players – those who actually commit to their art, who create, who show results,

or am I surrounded by the hordes animatedly talking about their dreams over a case of beers?

Am I clearing out the cupboards and filling it with goodness?

Regardless of what the goal is.

Whether I’m entering a race or building my business


My fitness program

My eating

The company I keep

The mentors I work with

My relationship with my family

Even my sex life changes every time

Because it’s all linked my friend.

I know for a fact that every time one area of my life evolves, ALL OF ME HAS TO EVOLVE

I also know for a fact that our minds are POWERFUL and it is easy for us to THINK that we’re playing because we can VISUALISE the experience which has a BIO-MECHANICAL REACTION in our bodies.

This is important to remember.

What the mind can perceive

The body can achieve

Yet the POTENTIAL of achievement is an empty illusion without EXECUTION.

When you start taking a closer look you will find that 99% of society is all talk and hype and zero fucking follow-through.

They’re always telling you how successful they’re going to be by the time they’re 30, 40, 50.

Except they’re unable to define what their success will look like.

They throw around vague, empty concepts – driving a sports car, rock a six-pack, be a millionaire, be happy.


More importantly,

when you ask them to show you their current action it’s filled with distraction, with entertainment, with drugs, alcohol, a hamster-wheel existence.

And they justify this shit to you.

Because they just have to lose the weight first and then they’ll go to gym.

They just have to get out of debt first and then they will invest in themselves.

They just have to get the kids grown up first and then they will build the empire.

They just have to feel confident first and then they will go ride that downhill.


A- players get in the game first understanding that it’s only IN THE GAME THAT YOU WILL GET THE SKILLS, MAKE THE MONEY, GET THE RIPPING ABS.

They understand that what stands between you and your dream life is none of the shit you think it is!

The only thing standing between you and your best version self


It’s you not wanting to fail because you’ve taken failure on as an identity instead of a possible outcome following action.

It’s you not wanting to be judged by others when the fuckers are judging whether you take action or not.

It’s you not wanting to look like an idiot in front of others when quite frankly Darling, it’s been my experience that only mediocre assholes will laugh at you.

True achievers will laugh with you, give you a hand up, and tell you to give it another go.

And again

And again

Until you fucking succeed!

Achievers celebrate your best version self and they know that we’re all in this together.

Achievers know that whatever they’ve mastered today is the bottom ring to their next level where they are beginners again.

That’s the thrill.

The eternal cycle of eager student and humble master.

I know I’ve been hammering you about creating your vision.

About writing that shit down in detail and to go into WHO is the woman already living that life.

What does she believe?

What does she think about?

What does she eat, wear?

How does she move her body?

Who does she surround herself with?

What does she no longer tolerate.

Today I want to challenge you to take is a step further.

Today I want you to get your ass in the game!

To put some skin in the game.

To find the courage and invest in yourself.

To take a chance on yourself and to enter that race, register that website, put your profile out there.

To claim your success by connecting with an achiever who makes you uncomfortable AF.

To have a difficult conversation you’ve been putting off.

Your ego is going to scream.

FEAR will wash over you, turning you fingers to shaking leaves in the storm.

I don’t care.




And then show us that belief by taking the action.

Death is inevitable – you can stop walking around like a zombie until then.

THRIVING on the other hand, that is a choice.

With love always,


PS:  LIBERATION is yours for the taking.

Apply today.


Don’t let your ‘not now’ turn into another motherfucking regret

Stop it!

Stop sitting there feeling less than a badass mother because you’re continuously putting your soul song on hold.

You know exactly what I’m talking about.

I’m talking about all the times you come across, an event, an opportunity, a dream that lights your ass on fire!

And it scares the living daylights out of you.

Because you have forgotten what TRULY ALIVE feels like.

You’ve forgotten the sensation of blood and adrenaline and excitement coursing through your veins.

You call it fear.

You call it insanity.

It terrifies you so you quickly put it at arms length – saying ‘not now’.

That you’re not ready.

That the timing is not right.

Knowing full well that your lack of commitment is not time-bound and that your ‘not now’ is a ‘not ever’.

So dulled down by the mediocrity of everyday existence.

There’s a price to pay for denial of thrive Darling.

You start losing your shine.

You stop believing in yourself.

Your mind-muscle becomes weak, atrophy sets in, until you can’t think for yourself.

Constantly seeking guidance and strategies and someone to tell you what to do, what to say, to give you a script, to give you permission.

You spend more and more money on make-up to create an illusion of colour in your cheeks.

You spend more and more money on booze to bring you up at night and pills to bring you down so you can sleep and then more pills that help you just get through the fucking day without losing your shit in public scared of being admitted to a padded cell.

You spend more and more time in front of a screen drooling over the adventures and successes of others in a desperate attempt not to face the reality of your unfulfilled life.

You spend more and more money on chocolate to fill the empty void in your gut where you desire to feel connected to another human being, to your purpose, to your excitement.

And then you spend more money on fat burners, protein shakes and gym membership to rid yourself of the layer of fat sitting around your chicken shit tummy.

Because yes

That fat is nothing more than protection

From being seen

From being called out on your bullshit

It’s hiding you from the truth that you’re playing  at less than 10% of your capacity.

And do you know what happens to a high achiever when they live at the same speed as ordinary people?

When we don’t play full out?

When we don’t take risks?

When we stop biting off more than we can chew?

We become depressed AF!

We are miserable.

We feel like we’re dragging ourselves from one second to the next at snails pace and there’s no life flow.

I remember that feeling well.  And I’m NEVER going back there again.

I used to blame everyone for my lot in life.

My family.

My financial circumstances.

The social system.

The mind-control institutions.

I used all my loved ones as an excuse for me not to show up for myself.

‘My kids needed me 24/7 so I couldn’t really dedicate myself to my business.  Working an hour here, an hour there, and then praising myself for being able to pay some of the bills some of the time.

My husband was in charge of the finances and I couldn’t possibly ask him for money to invest in myself, and even if I did, there would never be money for working with a coach when there were more important expenses to be made.’

I made them the enemy and me the victim.

Of course always feeling justified in my choices.

I was an expert in saying ‘one day’.

One day I will have the money to work with my soulmate coach.

One day I will have the courage to build that empire.

One day I will have the time to really train like an elite athlete and rip my body.

One day I will have the smarts to handle my own finances and take back my independence.

Wanna know what happened?


Until I decided to turn One day into Today!

I decided to stop being a pussy and to start taking a leap of faith.

In myself.

To take a chance on me.

To believe that once I’m committed to an outcome, I step into my potential and I’ll always know what to do next.

I became available for failure.

I became available for learning.

I became available to saying yes instead of always saying not now.

I became available to see the truth I did not have the courage to see before.

And what I found was that the enemy was never ‘out there’.

Nobody else was to blame for my life.

The only enemy is and always will be ME!

It’s not an enemy that you can defeat forever.

She is your training partner in life, there to make you stronger.

Every time you slay her down, she will rise again.

Which means a daily recommitment to the work.

The real work.

The work where you train your mind to see past the illusion and discover the truth.

The truth that you’re not a muggle.

You might be surrounded by muggles.

You can love muggles.

But you, my sexy beast, are a magician!

You are a magical being.

And the magic will NEVER go away.

Your choice in life is to either embrace this, unleash it, create your art,

or suppress it.

Deny it.

Living in constant pain, depression, sickness, secretly resenting those around you for clipping your wings.

For putting you in a gilded cage.

I’m sorry to tell you my friend, but YOU climbed into that cage because your power scared the shit out of you.

You climbed in and you locked that door behind you.

You stuck the key in your ass-pocket and conveniently forgot about it.

So you sit there and sing your song of sorrow and regret.

Your voice is so sweet it brings others to tears.

Other sitting in their own cages.

Forgotten keys in their grasp.

You keep waiting for things to change so you can make different choices.

But it doesn’t work that way.

You have to make different choices for things to change!

Every time you say NO to your soul, every time you say NOT NOW, letting opportunity pass you by, you’re choosing regret.

You’re choosing to sit in that cage year after year continuing the madness.

I’ve seen this pattern enough times to recognise it well.

People reaching out to me and then pulling back.

Saying now is not the right time.

That they have enough to go it on their own for now.

They’ll just go watch motivational videos on YouTube and take action from there.

Only to have them come back two, three, five years later, even more depressed.

More bloated with suppressed magic which is literally ready to have them explode!

And never once do I hear “I don’t regret waiting”.

Not once.

So this is my invitation to you today my Darling:

I invite you to wake up the warrior inside of you.

I invite you to feel that key in your back-pocket.

I invite you to find just twenty seconds of insane courage and to take the leap of faith in yourself.

You can do ANYTHING for twenty seconds.

Even be the most courageous bitch to ever walk the face of the earth.

And in those twenty seconds I invite you to sign up to that thing you’ve been holding away from yourself.

That thing that has you shitting yourself with fear? with excitement? with soul-thrive?

Whether that is the race everyone told you you’re not ready to do.

Or to press play on that business you were told you’re not ready to start.

Or to sign up with the mentor you were told you’re not ready to afford.

Whatever that thing is.

Twenty seconds.

Don’t ask permission.

Don’t ask for someone else to approve.

Ask yourself.

Go inside.

This is YOUR life.

If you truly desire freedom and liberation, joy and untold treasures, you have to start trusting YOURSELF.

You have to start listening to the inner voice.

Only death is inevitable.

Thriving is a choice.

With love,



Ready to say YES to being challenged on the programming that’s running your life?

Ready to say YES to being held accountable for going full out for your dreams?

Ready to say YES to never again sleeping away your life in a drug-induced stupor?

Ready to say YES to living TODAY?

I’m here, ready to supportively kick your sweet bullshit to the curb and to liberate you from the monsters in your head keeping you small.

But you have to rise to the invitation Darling.

Check out Liberation and if it speak to your soul find your twenty seconds of courage and apply.



How are you SHOWING your gratitude and appreciation?

I know you’ve heard it before – the fastest way to manifest is through gratitude.

I’m sure I’m not the only one whose initial reaction was indignation and a little bit of a sulk.

I mean sure, it’s really easy to be grateful when things are all sunshine, rainbows and unicorns.

But life is never THAT perfect ALL of the time in ALL ways, right?

There’s always some asshole who apparently didn’t receive a copy of our personal rule book and they’re not playing game.

There’s always an unexpected expense that fucks up the carefully laid out budget and then, just for good measure, someone pays you late.

You always get sick at the most inopportune time.

Your car always breaks on the way to an important meeting.

And then they tell us we have to be grateful?!

Or maybe I’m the only spiritual toddler alive at this time.

But I kept working on it.

I kept writing down my gratitude lists.

Every day.

I stayed open to the process and slowly but surely I started experiencing some results.

I found that I could SEE MORE to be grateful for.

My attention shifted from that which wasn’t working, to the blessings that I already had in my life.

I started feeling pretty good about myself.

A higher vibration results in a higher attraction.

I grew to love gratitude.

At which stage my next teacher arrived.

She told me that gratitude for the good was no longer enough.

I had to be grateful for the good AND the not so good aka the shit.

You’re kidding, right?

Please tell me you’re kidding!

Why the fuck would I be grateful for the bastard who once again told me I’m not good enough?

Because everything happens FOR you”, she told me.

Couldn’t get my head around this.

So it was back to my faithful journal.

It took months for me to drop into this one.

First of all, I came to the realisation that unless I was connected with my PURPOSE, my life MISSION, I simply couldn’t connect the dots.

It was only once I claimed my soul vision, that I could sit back, view the landscape from a bird’s eye view, and see the incredible unfolding of my life.

I could finally comprehend that all those who I THOUGHT was against me, was in fact the pawns on MY chessboard, and they simply kept showing me ways to make conscious choices thereby empowering me to continue moving towards fulfilling my soul work.

I could finally see how some doors were closed to me as they would have led me down a completely different path and even though I believe in my heart that all roads have the potential to reach my destiny, it would have taken me an additional decade or two to get back to the spot I’m in now.

By now I was starting to think I’m not so spiritually retarded after all!

Not a bad feeling my friend.

But then I came across a video that said gratitude is only the first step, we have to also appreciate!


I had to go look up the difference – I always fall back on to the excuse that English is not my mother tongue.

And found that gratitude is being thankful with a readiness to show appreciation

It’s not just lip service.

Appreciation includes ENJOYMENT


So I’ve been journaling on appreciation for months now.

Every day,

I am so grateful and appreciative of my home, my health, my relationships, my bikes, my car, my clients, my business…

Blah blah blah


a few weeks ago,

my pen kept moving,

and the questions appeared on my page,

‘If you’re appreciative of your car, how are you showing your appreciation in a celebration of enjoyment?   What are you doing to make your car feel appreciated?”


The car?

And what did my soul even mean by how did I show my appreciation to my car?

So I went outside and I took a critical look at my car.

With all the sand on the seats from taking the dogs to the beach.

The empty coffee cups from various trips to the shops.

The dust on the dashboard.

And I thought to myself, if I was the car, always ready to transport my mistress, reliable, trustworthy, and she allowed me to look like a dustbin, would I feel appreciated?

Talk about a bucket of cold water!

In that moment I realised that appreciation is not a word, it’s an act.

It’s an energy.

It’s a bringing together of our best selves to be in service to each other.

And that includes everything!

I arranged to have my car cleaned immediately to bring out her beauty and to show her my appreciation for always transporting me to wonderful experiences.

I started looking around me – where else have I not been showing true appreciation?

To my home, my bikes, my laptop.

Everything could be polished a little more to make them shine.

Not from a grumpy, begrudging space but from a space of true love and as a way to say thank you!

Then I looked at my relationships.

Where have I not truly shown my appreciation for all the people in my life?

Where have I taken them for granted or maybe just became so used to them that I wasn’t fully present in the privilege of sharing their energy with me?

Even those that I’m at logger-heads with at the moment.

The teachers who are a pain in my ass.

And if I truly dropped into gratitude and appreciation, how would I be showing up for them?


This, is my new daily practice.

Not only do I write down my gratitude and appreciation list, I ask myself HOW I CAN SHOW MY APPRECIATION TO THOSE I CHOSE TO LIST TODAY?

Today I’m taking the Cookie Monster out for a ride and I’ll be giving her a good scrub down afterwards in appreciation of the hours of joy and adventure she’s gifted me with.

I’m taking the pups to the beach and letting them run wild to their heart’s content in appreciation of their unconditional love and yes, I’ll be vacuuming the car afterwards.

I’m taking my boys out to lunch in appreciation for their presence in my life and for choosing me to be their mom.

I’m calling my mom tonight in appreciation for just being the most wonderful inspiration in my life.

I’m kicking some soulmate client ass in appreciation for their trust in me and for their willingness to show up for themselves, having the courage to follow their purpose and building their empires.

These are some of the things on my list today.

What’s on yours Darling?

I would love to hear.

I would love hear from you if this piece created a new awareness for you.

That maybe you’ve been saying that your grateful and appreciative but you’ve not previously made the connection of showing and enjoying?

Or not.

Maybe, like the younger me, you’re thinking this is all just airy-fairy bullshit and that you have no desire to appreciate the pricks in your space.

It’s all perfect to me.

After all,

only death is inevitable.

Thriving, which by the way is filled with appreciation, will always remain a choice.

With love always,