What is the essence of your desire?

The question I’ve been journaling on for the past few months has been “What do I desire?”

It sounds like such a simple question.

Yet it’s been one of the toughest to answer.

For years I’ve completely disconnected from my desires.

Somewhere, very early on in life, I started hearing ‘no’.

Repeatedly.

No – you can’t have that because there isn’t any money for it.

No – you shouldn’t ask for that because you’re putting others on the spot and making them feel bad.

No – you can’t do that because it’s not normal.

No – you can’t say that because it’s disrespectful.

No – you can’t read that because it’s not approved by church and government.

No – you can’t think that because it’s unrealistic.

No – you shouldn’t be heard because you’re just a child and you have no right to an opinion.

No – you shouldn’t dream so big because it ain’t never going to happen for you.

No – you should stop wasting your time because you’re simply not smart enough to get anywhere in life.

No – you must never pleasure yourself because it’s a sin.

No – you shouldn’t flirt because it makes you a slut asking for trouble.

No – you can’t just dance and howl anywhere you like because it makes you look like a crazy person and it’s embarrassing.

No

No

No

No

No

As a young girl, desire was simple – all I wanted was to dance.

Living in a dysfunctional home, dance was my lifeline.

It was my way of leaving the mundane and entering a world of free expression.

Where the music would infuse my body with sweet release and move my limbs, allowing emotions to wash through me, leaving me open to receive more.

A space of expansion, beauty, freedom, joy.

No matter what was happening in my life, I could always come back to dance.

She was my lover, my protector, my safety.

And then,

I lost dance.

Sitting on the floor, my knees black with clotted blood, the disks moving from side to side in an almost comical fashion, I knew it was over.

The dream.

It was the final NO.

I stopped feeling special.

Imagine a fairy without her wings.

What does that even make her?

A nothing.

Or so it felt.

I stopped believing in magic.

I stopped believing in freedom.

I stopped believing in myself,

my worth,

my right to pleasure and joy and freedom.

And like so many others,

I settled for an ordinary life.

I settled for existence.

I settled.

On the outside I had all the trimmings – success in corporate, red sporty car, handsome husband, degrees, beautiful home, gorgeous kids.

But on the inside,

in the darkness,

I was in so much pain.

I don’t think there is any greater pain than that of self-abandonment.

You see Darling, I gave up on me simply because the playing field changed.

And instead of embracing this, instead of mourning the loss of my ability to dance professionally, instead of being guided to walk through a new door,

I was told to do the responsible thing and be like everyone else.

To just get over it.

To just move on.

Nobody ever acknowledged my loss, my deep sorrow, my anger.

And I was PLENTY fucking angry!

At God and the Universe for taking this away from me when this was all I thought I had.

At the cruelty of fate to bring me so far along the path and then, at the tipping point, rip it out of my hands.

Most of all, I was angry at myself.

That I couldn’t be stronger.

I felt that I had let myself down.

So I started punishing myself.

First I starved myself – six Thinz tablets washed down with a pot of coffee, three tins of Diet Coke and a packet of Benson and Hedges Special Mild would get me through most days.

Then I started drowning myself in alcohol – at the height of my drinking career I drank 36 shots of Tequila to get the party started.

Next came the toxic relationships – you know the ones I’m talking about.  “I love you – but you really should lose more weight.  I love you – but you really should tone it down.  I love you – but you really should know your place.  I love you – but you’re really fucked up.”

I switched to eating copious amounts of anything.  Thinking that if I put enough fat between myself and the world they would all fuck off and leave me alone.

Okay, I could go on and on but you get it right?

My point today is that the moment I stopped saying YES to myself, the only option was NO.

Continuously saying YES to everyone else and NO to ourselves, means death.

YES is opening ourselves up to receiving.

It’s opening ourselves up to growth.

It’s opening ourselves up to joy.

No closes us down to all of this.

I decided that things had to change.

That I was ready to start saying YES to myself again finally understanding that YES to myself is YES to thrive!

Because honestly, living and ordinary life, sucks!

So I started asking myself “What do I desire?

It was a good start, but I was missing a word.

Words are so powerful my friend.

A single word can change everything.

This morning I was gifted with the word.

ESSENCE.

What is the ESSENCE of my desire?

And it was so obvious.

Love.

It always was – after all, the essence of dance for me was LOVE.

Not Hollywood love.

Not codependent love.

The real thing.

Love which is that connection to Source.

Source which is all.

Including myself.

Love that lights up my entire being and sending out particles of self to connect with EVERYTHING.

Love that spills over into absolute pleasure, joy, presence, purpose, connection, romance,

Romancing life itself.

As if every day is your birthday.

Because it is.

Every day is THAT special because every day YOU’RE THAT special!

Why are we not celebrating every day as if to say “Look world!  I’m still here!  I’m magical.  I’m love.  I’m enough!”

Can you feel it Darling?

Are you smiling at the thought?

Of living life as a wonderful gift every single day?

Eating only what you truly desire and savouring every last crumb of deliciousness?

Hugging everyone with laughter and love connecting in the moment, body to body, smile to smile?

Doing all the things that lights your fire, moving your body, doing your soul-work, being with soulmate friends?

Having those deep connecting conversations?

I spent a lifetime trying to find the things that would make me happy.

Instead of choosing happiness.

For myself.

In every moment.

By connecting to the essence of what I truly desire.

And then knowing,

truly knowing,

that I can gift myself love right now.

I don’t need to do anything to feel love.

I don’t need to be anything to feel love.

I don’t need to have anything to feel love.

So my gift to you today, with love, is to ask you:  “What is the essence of your desire?”

Only death is inevitable.

Thriving is a choice which starts with asking the right questions.

With true love always,

Anel

PS:  Liberation is my gift to my clients.

Gifting them with a space to reconnect with their true desires.

Gifting them with the questions to reconnect with their personal wisdom.

Gifting them the unconditional belief in themselves to live a life of thrive.

If you’ve reached that tipping point in your life

where your wings are broken but you know you’re still magic

where you desire to reclaim the essence of your desires, drop me a mail to find out more about what working privately with me looks like.

 

 

 

 

 

Are you choosing badass partners that brings out your shine?

Okay, I’m weird.

I’m constantly told I’m not normal.

I’m not your typical girl.

Actually, I’m not a girl at all.

I’m 100% prime woman.

I don’t operate on the rules given to me of how I should feel, how I should act, how I should think.

I have a mind thank you very much – I choose to think for myself.

I own my shit.

I embrace my emotions.

And I know what’s good for me.

I used to judge myself for my drive, my ambition, my fire, my passion, my wild.

Now judgement can kiss my round ass.

I love pushing myself

HARD

I love burning the candle at both ends

I love screaming and ranting

I love sobbing and breaking

For most of my life I’ve been told that all of my natural tendencies are wrong for a woman.

That as a female I should be softer, speak in hushed tones, be more sympathetic, be more supportive and enabling of others.

NOW I PUT MY MIDDLE FINGER UP!

It hit me this morning as I was cursing, panting, sweating next to Jacques that he is the perfect training partner for me at this time.

He is hungry.

He is angry.

He is pushing to outwork me.

Hahaha – come on pup, challenge accepted.

I show him no mercy.

I tell him to TTFU!

He does the same for me.

We completely use each other, play off each other, to constantly push harder!

Historically I’ve preferred to train on my own.

I get in my zone.

I put my head down.

I don’t need anyone to watch over my shoulder to ensure that I don’t give up before the final rep.

I did not make myself that way.

I commit.

I finish the last fucking rep, the last 3 seconds, I OWN MY WORKOUTS.

Yet since I’m no longer competing I have allowed myself to back off a little.

It was called for.

It’s taken just over two years and my body has finally healed.

I no longer wake up in pain.

I no longer walk grimacing.

Which means it’s time to awaken the beast and get strong AF!

And I’m going to confess – I prefer training with the boys.

Why?

Because women train to support their sisters.

They tend to back off a little.

They focus on the others in the room – lending them their energy to help them through the hard push.

Always outwardly focussed as we’ve been told we’re here in service of everyone else first, then ourselves.

Men on the other way are selfish bastards when they train.

For them it’s kill or be killed.

They turn inwards.

They show no mercy.

They have no qualm in calling you weak, insulting you, your mother and the guy next door,

They throw down the gauntlet and dare you to keep up or pass out.

Music to my warrior soul.

I don’t take it personally.

My feelings don’t get hurt.

I don’t bitch that you shouldn’t shout at me.

Few women will relate but honestly, this insane behaviour is fuel to my fire.

I remember many a ride where I would get back to the car, secretly puking next to my bike because I refused to give up.

Relentlessly pushing up the hills, holding on for dear life so as not to loose the wheel in front of me.

No man ever helped me.

Nobody pushed me up the hill.

They didn’t even help me fix a flat.

I was treated as an equal.

They respected the fact that I would hit the dark roads at 4 am on my own to get in that power session before anyone else had their first cup of coffee so I could ride with them on the weekends.

They understood the beast in me.

I could have chosen to feel sorry for myself and stop riding with them.

To have my feelings hurt.

Instead I chose my training sessions, my training partners, with the utmost of care.

And it paid off.

IronMan changed my life and believe me when I tell you that sympathetic training partners would not have gotten me that far.

You and I both know what’s good for your physical aspect, is good for all aspects of your life.

Your business partners.

Your love partners.

Your coaching partners.

Your mastermind partners.

All of them.

If I take my rose-coloured glasses off I notice how at times I have not chosen the best partners for myself.

I have chosen partners who were less ambitious, less hard-core, less ruthless, less driven.

I have at times chosen to stay in partnerships which I had outgrown for way too long.

Not respecting the fact that personal growth is a choice and that when we choose to put in the work and stay with those who choose not to, we hold ourselves back.

Yes,

I’ve turned into a selfish bitch.

Some call me insensitive,

rude,

an asshole.

It’s true – I am all these things and more.

Because I’m choosing to be true to my nature.

My nature is to strive for improvement

EVERY SINGLE DAY!

I choose to look forward and see those ahead of me

To work my ass off to get to their level knowing that there will always be more ahead regardless of how high I go.

It’s a personal choice.

I choose to work with the coaches who empower me, not save me,

those who ask me the questions nobody else has the courage to ask that floors me so that I can reconnect with my power source inside

to find my answers

to find my strength

to stay the course

to honour my purpose.

I choose to work with the clients who are hungry for more

those who are ready to the the work for the results

those who are ready to take a stand for themselves and to own their truth

those who curse and rant and cry and spit and come back for more

Those who don’t use triggers as an excuse to walk away from their path, but who understand that I don’t hold back because I have too much respect for them to Molly-coddle them.

I’ve come to realise just how much we underestimate the impact of those we surround ourselves with has on us.

Their energies mingle with ours and it becomes a blend of the average – which means if you’re vibration is HIGH and their vibration is LOW you both end up feeling bleugh.

Their thoughts mingle with ours and their beliefs take up space in our subconscious minds – which means if you believe in abundance and they believe in scarcity your income potential will be capped and you will be so fucking frustrated not understanding why you’re doing hours of mindset work and still not seeing the results.

In my humble opinion this is why codependency is such an epidemic in our world today.

We’ve been told that our worth is dependent on others and us saving them or alternatively being saved by them.

And at the end of the day it comes down to one thing –

PERSONAL CHOICE!

Either people are going to CHOOSE to wake up or they’re going to choose to slumber.

Either people are going to CHOOSE to be inspired by you or they’re going to choose to be triggered and hate you.

Either people are going to CHOOSE to be the change they all say they want in the world or they’re going to choose to remain part of the problem.

The only person I can choose for is MYSELF!

And the only person you can choose for is YOURSELF!

I know this is going to hurt like a motherfucker, but I invite you today to take off those codependent-coloured glasses and take a real honest look at all of your relationships.

Are they truly a vibrational match for your best version self?

Do they have the same values as you?

The same level of ambition, drive, discipline?

Do they continuously push you to be better, challenge you to rise higher, inspire you to wake up a little earlier?

And then, if you’re really courageous, I want you to get real about the impact of your relationships on your life.

Are they keeping you comfortable and safe or on your toes, filled with excitement – and where will you end up on this current trajectory?

I’m not saying you must leave everyone behind.

I simply want you to start living consciously.

To CONSCIOUSLY CHOOSE the consequences of your relationships.

And then,

if they are the BEST for your best version self, maybe you will appreciate and treasure them even more.

And if not,

you will have to make peace with the sacrifice of your potential brilliance and NOT blame them in any way for your lack of results.

THIS is called taking responsibility Sunshine.

For only death is inevitable.

Thriving is a choice.

With love always,

Anel

PS:  “CAUTION!!! Your life WILL not be the same after working with Anel.  She will make you dig deeper than you have ever dug before – guaranteed!

She will help you set goals in such a deep and profound way, that you will have no option but to achieve them!” – Julia van der Sluys

When last have you allowed yourself to receive empowering support?

Being held accountable to your levels of excellence?

To have a space in which to do the real introspection, to bring out those skeletons on a completely non-judgemental space so that you may take back your authentic self?

If you’re done playing half-pace and you’re hungry for more, let’s connect.

 

You were not born a miracle to drop down to average

What will it take for you to understand that we were born different?

You and I.

This is not an ego statement.

It’s fact.

I know – for only those here to bring change ever read my words.

We were born to break the machine.

And for us to do that, we have to stop living by the mediocre standards of the masses.

We have to stop comparing ourselves to the majority if we desire to truly live the life of the minority.

Yes, we all have the potential for greatness.

But few will ever choose to do whatever the fuck it takes!

We came to rebel against the belief in scarcity.

Not to be obedient little toy soldiers.

Falling down.

We were never born to do the 9 to 5 grind.

I don’t work according to their compartmentalised little clock.  Goddess gave me 24 hours a day to THRIVE and I use each of those to build my empire – my empire which is all of me!

Our dreams deserve our full attention.

Our full dedication.

Our obsession.

It is what lights us up.

When we have the audacity to say NO to oppression,

We find the courage to say YES to our desires.

It’s what the world has been waiting for.

For thousands of years.

For us.

We are THAT special.

But just because we were born a miracle, born for greatness, born to leave a legacy, doesn’t mean it will be handed to us on a silver platter.  It doesn’t mean it will be without our effort.

Fuck NO!

We never wanted anything for nothing.

We demanded pain to rip us apart, rip us open, so that we could find our strength from inside.

We demanded growth from suffering.  We demanded to be given the lessons that makes most scurry away so that we could overcome the fear so prevalent in todays world and bring back honour and courage.

We asked for the codependent toxic relationships so we could remember that love and fear DOES NOT co-exist!

If your relationship fills you with fear IT’S NOT LOVE!

And you get to choose –

are you going to keep believing the indoctrination that love hurts?

That family has the right to treat you like a piece of shit and you have to remain loyal?

Or are you going to forgive, appreciate, and lovingly move the fuck on so you can rise to your full potential, share your story and do the work?

I know you think sometimes that you just don’t have what it takes.

I know there’s times when you just want to throw your middle finger up and tell me to piss off.

That you don’t want to hear any more.

That you just want a break.

Just  five goddamned minutes.

I hear you.

At times, I feel that too.

I look at all the changes consistently happening in my life, and the more I say YES to my SOUL, the more change rains down on me.

And even though I am tremendously grateful knowing that all is happening FOR me,

because I said to Goddess that I’m ready

I declared to all of the Universe that I am prepared to do whatever it takes,

Sacrifice all that no longer serves my purpose,

I am prepared to step aside and let the message through even when the message terrifies me,

because it is raw and unfiltered

it goes against everything I was told a good woman says

And it keeps ripping off pieces of scabs from old wounds

puss pouring out from the very depth of my heart

it’s nasty

it stinks

and the healing is sometimes exhausting

and liberating

and horrific

and freeing

and perfect.

Always perfect.

Always divine.

It took me a long time to get to this point.

Thousands of moments of saying yes, I am ready, I feel brave, taking two steps, then pull my tail between my legs, running back as fast as I could to the familiar pain.

There is so much comfort in the familiar.

Regardless of how negative the familiar is.

Thousands of times of asking for direction and support and then being shown that which would accelerate my growth, only to give in to my self-doubt and pulling out all the stops, all the excuses as to why I couldn’t commit now, why I didn’t have the time right now, why I couldn’t afford it at this time.

Until I woke up one morning and realised that I could no longer afford NOT to say YES to my soul’s guidance.

I woke up and I knew in my heart that this was the last opportunity that would get me from where I am to where I truly desire to be.

The last time that I was willing to raise my hand because if I didn’t dig really fucking deep this time around, took a chance on myself, I would not find the courage again.

I would give up.

And die with regret.

Average.

Ticking their boxes.

Keeping the peace.

Sacrificing my happiness for those I felt responsible for.

Until the day I looked at them and realised that nothing I did would EVER make them happy.

Because we can’t do the work on behalf of others.

The real work.

The mindset work.

The personal growth work.

Taking responsibility for our feelings, our actions, our results, our lives.

We can’t think that if we work twice as hard that we can do enough for ourselves AND carry their asses to the finish line with them praising us for everything that we sacrificed for them.

Instead, all we’re doing is making them weaker.

It’s part of the lies we’re told to keep us average.

The stronger we become,

the more we carry them,

the less they do for themselves.

The less they do for themselves,

the more atrophy sets in,

and the less they CAN do for themselves.

And then we want to get pissed because we’re soooooo fucking exhausted, doing everything, feeling unappreciated.

Well Darling, we train people how to treat us.

And for a powerful man or woman to stay in a relationship with a partner who is not doing the work, a partner who continuously manipulates you to feel bad for your ambition and strength, is screwing over not only yourself, but all of your soulmate clients, your soulmate lovers, your soulmate friends, humanity.

Because you keep dulling your shine.

No wonder the world is in so much shadow.

Just sit with this for a moment – the knowing that YOU are a miracle.

I know you KNOW it.

I know there is a great sadness inside of you because you look in the mirror and you KNOW you were born for more.

I know that you’re scared and you’re tired and you’re really trying your best to keep your shit together.

But do you want to know what is empowering Darling?

Choosing to thrive.

Choosing to say YES to your soul desires, your soul work.

I’m not saying it’s going to be a walk in the park.

I’m not saying that you won’t ever get tired again.

Quite frankly the stronger you get, the harder you push, the higher you go, the more you give.

Because THAT is what keeps our fire of passion blazing.

I’ve tried easy.

I’ve tried fitting in.

I’ve tried keeping everyone happy.

IT WAS HORRIBLE.

To the point where I didn’t want to live anymore.

I was BORN FOR THE STORM!

It rages in me.

Around me.

I AM THE MOTHERFUCKING STORM.

And so are you!

Stop being afraid of fear.

Stop denying your power.

I mean, if you actually want to thrive…

Otherwise don’t.

Free will.

Free choice.

Only death is inevitable.

Thriving will always remain the choice of the minority.

With love always,

Anel

PS:  Ready to choose thrive?

Ready to find the courage it will take for you to say YES to your soul?

Ready to commit to the work it will take for you to say NO to exhaustion, misery and regret?

“Anel is not for the faint of heart.

But if you’re ready, she can help you change your life. You can look forward to a supportive (virtual) hug, a non-judgmental ear, and a swift kick in the ass.

Anel will push you, and you’ll come out the other side a better version of yourself – one full of hope, determination and passion.”

Carla Kolke Jones – Editor

Check out Liberation and when you’re ready, apply.

 

 

SLOW DOWN TO SPEED UP FFS!

This is probably going to sound immensely insensitive.

It might be ripping off the band-aid and sting like a wasp.

Leaving your head spinning.

Stars swimming before your eyes.

And you’ll probably hate me for it.

Because you will think I’m the cause of your pain.

You will think I’m the most inconsiderate bitch alive and you might even say I’m responsible for people feeling bad about themselves.

If that is what it takes today for you to pause and think, rage away my Darling.

Curse me if it makes you feel better.

Call me a misfit if that is what it takes for you to drop the shame and be honest with yourself.

I would rather speak my truth and have all those who avoid triggers unsubscribe if that means a single person takes pause, picks up a pen and writes down their DECISION to change – it will be worth it.

I’m just fucking done playing nice when so many warriors are fast asleep.

And yes, I’m kicking my own ass as much as anyone else’s today because I’m only getting started and this is not the time nor the place for me to be my normal slow as fuck.

Not now.

Not here.

I’m done saying only the pretty, motivating words when all the magicians are disconnected from their magic.

When the healers are dying because they’re not healing themselves!

I’m just done seeing how much regret people live in on a daily basis.

Thinking that shit is happening to them.

That they don’t have choices.

That they are powerless.

That they don’t have the resources to make their dreams come true.

I’m just done being witness to how empty people’s cups are and then they are still desperately trying to give to everyone else thinking that this will be their salvation.

So all they do all day is sit and fucking LIE!

They lie to themselves saying they are not to blame and that it will get better once they get the promotion, once they get the money, once they get the perfect lover.

They lie to Joe Public about how great things are.

How happy they are.

With their plastered on smiles and their soft bellies.

They show up all full of bravado telling people how one day they’re going to be smashingly rich, have a six pack and drive a Ferrari, sipping cocktails on the beach 90% of the time.

Then they go home.

Arriving with their bottle of wine, their discontent, their resentment of the system.

The moment the door closes the mask comes off.

Dr Jekell and Mr Hyde.

All those at their place of work, their hundreds of ‘friends’ on Facebook, wouldn’t recognise this shell of a human.

Depressed.

Angry.

Lashing out at everyone around them of how fucking unfair life is.

How they are exhausted all the time.

How hard life is.

What a dickhead their boss is.

All the time dulling the pain with alcohol, cigarettes, food, seeking escape on Netflix, Playstation, anything but to face the one in the mirror.

The one with the accusing eyes.

The one that looks at them and say ‘You’re such a fucking loser

They vomit their self-disgust just to do it all over again.

And the ones on the receiving end.

Lying to themselves about how if they just do better they will get treated better.

Lying to their friends about how lovely life is and how fortunate they are.

All the time treading on eggs.

Too terrified to speak their truth because the venom that gets thrown their way has left them raw, terrified, huddled down in a small bleeding pulsating lump of flesh.

No longer trusting themselves or anyone else.

Too scared to even meet the eyes in the mirror.

The shame too great.

The disappointment overwhelming.

So they wait for the shower to steam up the glass reflection to soften the blow.

Everyone saying that one day their ship will come sailing in.

Everyone saying that tomorrow will be better.

They go through the motions of dreaming the big dreams.

Setting the big hairy scary goals.

Drawing up the sheets.

And then they sit and try to figure it all out.

And they don’t have a fucking clue

HOW

All they see are the obstacles.

The ‘impossibilities’.

I don’t have enough time.

I don’t have enough money

I don’t have enough energy.

I don’t have enough courage.

I don’t have enough support.

I don’t know enough.

I don’t have enough faith in myself.

And instead of just OWNING their shit.

instead of OWNING the fact that they don’t know

instead of OWNING the fact that they’re scared

instead of OWNING the fact that they don’t believe in themselves

and just LETTING GO of the BIG dream for now

so that they can focus on whatever they DO have the courage to create at this time with where they’re at and what they have available to them

They bundle up that desire with a big red bow of social approval and applause, carrying it around like a load of bricks on their backs.

All day

Every day

Exhausted

Bloated with self-loathing.

THIS IS ONE OF THE GREATEST CRIMES OF HUMANITY!

DISEMPOWERMENT THROUGH THE OVERWHELM OF HOW POWERFUL YOU TRULY ARE.

We are shamed for not having and being and doing it all RIGHT NOW!

YES, I truly do believe we CAN have, be and do it all.

But I also believe that wanting it all RIGHT NOW when where we’re at is NOT there is one of the ways in which we take ourselves out of the game.

One piece of wisdom my clients hear all the time is SLOW DOWN TO SPEED UP!

Your mindset, your creativity, your manifestation is all muscle Baby.

You have to work it daily if you want to make it stronger.

You wouldn’t walk into a gym for the first time in twenty years and bench-press 200 kilograms.

I mean you could be an asshole and go try because your ego is bigger than your common sense.

But you and I both know you’re going to end up in hospital – possibly damaged for life.

So why would you continuously do this shit with your life, your creativity, your resilience?

Today I invite you to absolutely give yourself permission to dream as big as you possibly can.

To write it all down.

The biggest motherfucking vision you can possibly create for your life.

Regardless of how big even THAT is not your limit.

But then I want you to pull back.

All the way back.

And to set ONE GOAL

ONLY ONE

That is your next level self

Not your ULTIMATE self

Yes, it should be scary.

No, you shouldn’t know the how.

But you have to fucking COMMIT!

That you will do whatever it takes.

That you will set yourself up for success with the right support.

That you will clear your schedule for this one thing as if your life depends on it – BECAUSE IT DOES.

I want you to surrender the how, understanding that a power far greater than you will create every single opportunity, every single resource, every single meeting, every single introduction, every single book, that you need to achieve said goal.

Own YOUR ROLE in this journey.

YOUR RESPONSIBILITY of showing the fuck up every step of the way.

YOUR RESPONSIBILITY to keep saying YES to yourself regardless of how scared you are.

YOUR RESPONSIBILITY to fail until you succeed.

YOUR RESPONSIBILITY to walk away from the negative, toxic assholes that are draining your life force.

YOUR RESPONSIBILITY to THRIVE!

And let go of the rest.

Get your ass in the game and play full out knowing that everyone has to start somewhere and that the more you play, the stronger you will get, the harder you will be able to play.

No more self-sabotage.

No more bullshit.

Enough already.

It’s time for us to get real.

For death is inevitable.

Thriving remains a choice.

With love always,

Anel

PS:  If you’re still reading and you KNOW in your SOUL that you’ve reached that point where you’ve DECIDED

If you know that you will do WHATEVER IT TAKES

If you know that you will FAIL UNTIL YOU SUCCEED

If you know that you will GIVE YOURSELF PERMISSION TO RECEIVE

And if you know I’m your soulmate coach for this part of your journey

Drop me a mail and I will tell you more about what a 3 month ass-kicking to your LIBERATION with me looks like.

 

 

 

 

 

Fear is automatic, Courage is a CHOICE!

Fear is a hot topic these days.

People everywhere frantically trying to escape the thickening clawing at their throats.

The sick feeling in their stomachs leaving them dizzy.

The pain that grips across their chests, making it hard to breath.

Thinking there’s a secret being withheld from them.

Of how to be fearless.

They believe they simply have to learn more methodologies and proven strategies, steps and scripts.

That once they KNOW everything, the fear will dissipate.

Everything will change.

Everything will be easy.

I’m sorry to tell you this Sunshine, but that’s bullshit.

Fear is never going to leave you.

It is the sole function of your EGO to keep your physical self safe.

And she figured the best way to do that is by keeping you pissing your pants.

At the drop of a pin.

Every time she can convince you to be afraid of fear, you hesitate, you stop, and most of the times, you talk yourself out of whatever insanely exciting liberating step you were about to take.

The more she gets you in a state of fear,

the harder it is for you to move.

To connect with your creative muse,

to connect with the magic inside of you.

To believe in yourself.

To love your individuality.

To MOTHERFUCKING THRIVE!

Like most loved ones, she means well.  She simply wants to keep your body safe.

But what the ego doesn’t understand is that for you to do your soul work, for you to live a completely fulfilling life, you need more than a well preserved body.

You need adventure!

You need excitement!

YOU HAVE TO CREATE YOUR ART!

YOU HAVE TO SPEAK YOUR TURTH!

YOU HAVE TO OWN YOUR DESIRES!

YOU HAVE TO FEEL TRULY ALIVE!

Put on top of this the fact that some power-hungry assholes figured this out thousands of years ago, building an entire social structure based on the principle of keeping the masses enslaved through fear, and you will have a little more compassion with yourself.

Everything about modern day life is designed to stop you from thinking for yourself so you think there’s no choices available.

Everything is cleverly crafted to make you feel as if though your hands are bound behind your back so you can feel powerless – depending on the graces of others to keep you from dying.

Do you have ANY idea how many people I speak to who stay in love-less, unfulfilling marriages BECAUSE THEY THINK THEY CAN’T LEAVE????

Because according to the marriage contract they will be financially screwed?

Because others will judge and shame and abandon them?

Because they’ve devoted themselves to this institution and lost who they are in the process?

Because their ‘responsibilities’ are more important than their happiness???

What kind of system are we condoning that uses love for enslavement?

Do you have ANY idea how many people are committing suicide because they unexpectedly receive bad news, losing a job, losing a loved one, diagnosed with a disease, and they simply don’t have the resilience or the ability to connect to their true resourcefulness and so they rather go jump off a building?

What kind of fucked up system are we supporting that breeds weakness?  That has people so filled with stupid shame that they don’t ever find the self-love to reach out and ask for help?  That they suffer in silence because they feel so isolated, so misunderstood, so insignificant that they think it’s better if they die?

Do you have ANY idea how many school kids are drowning themselves in alcohol, sex and drugs because their creativity, their independent spirits, their questioning minds are being judged as unacceptable.  Their defiance to conform as little drones required by the out-dated schooling system has them so frustrated that they self-mutilate, cutting themselves to bleed just so they can remember they’re still fucking alive!!!

And then we have the audacity to say our kids are flawed and punish them, humiliate them, expel them, pump them full of drugs so they will lose the will to fight!

NOBODY IS QUESTIONING THE SYSTEM AND SAYING THAT IF MORE KIDS ARE BROKEN THAN THRIVING THE SYSTEM IS FUCKED!

A system devoid of equipping our kids to be massively creative, resourceful adults.

Ready to live a life which requires thriving individuals to have an indestructible mindset – show me the mindset subjects in our schools.

A life which requires thriving individuals to fail repeatedly on their way to success – show me the curriculum that encourages and celebrates failure in school.

A life which requires thriving individuals to be happy in their own skins and embracing their complete individuality.

OMG I get so fucking MAD!

So let me just say this right now – none of us is excused from taking responsibility.

For ourselves.

We have a responsibility to live authentically.

To insist on our own happiness.

To be our best version selves.

And the only way for us to do that, is to start being courageous.

THE FACT IS THAT FEAR IS NEVER GOING TO LEAVE, YOU WILL ALWAYS AND FOREVER FEEL AFRAID, BUT IT IS YOUR RESPONSIBILITY TO START CHOOSING COURAGE FOR THE SAKE OF ALL OF HUMANITY!

Stop thinking that any amount of knowledge will make you less fearful.

No amount of success will make you unreachable for the icy tentacles of Mistress Fear.

The moments of uncertainty.

The times of stress and insecurity.

You simply have to acknowledge the fear, you have to name the fear, you have to feel the fear,

and then

because you’re a badass

you get to CHOOSE courage.

You choose to feel the fear and take the action anyway.

You choose to feel the fear and reach out for help anyway.

You choose to feel the fear and connect with your muse for creative solutions anyway.

You choose to feel the fear and speak your truth anyway.

You choose to feel the fear and ask for what you desire anyway.

You choose to feel the fear and flip the system the bird anyway.

This is my call to the warriors!

It’s about time for you to wake up!

To stand up!

To speak up!

To choose love for humanity above obedience to the system!

To choose YOUR happiness!

I know I’m asking a lot from you.

After all, I’m asking you to rage against the machine.

I’m asking you to put yourself first which goes against everything they’ve told you.

I’m asking you to believe in yourself and to trust the magic inside which goes against everything they’ve preached you.

I’m asking you to stand up for thriving and to be fucking proud of your joy which goes against everything they’ve said makes you a nice girl.

Yet I’m not asking anything of you that I’m not asking of myself.

So yes, I know it’s scary AF.

I know it’s intimidating at the best of times.

I took my decision seriously and I set myself up for success.

And it’s your responsibility to do the same.

Stop thinking you have more than enough time to decide.

That it’s okay for you to be miserable and depressed for a little while longer.

Are you for real????

Listen to yourself!

Stop thinking that you’ll become stronger the longer you wait.

Courage dissipates quickly Darling.

You have to train your courage muscle by choosing it repeatedly and taking fast action again and again.

Fear is the constant and you simply have to start training your desires, your faith, your strength, your courage to be stronger than your fear.

I want to hear from you:

Where are you feeling most afraid in your life right now?

Where do you feel that you simply don’t have the power to make the brave decision?

What is that decision that you KNOW in your HEART will completely transform your life?

I want to know.

Because I promise you that if you can find the courage to admit it, to speak it, to share it, you will start building your brave muscle until one day you will make that decision and EVERYTHING will change.

Only death is inevitable Gorgeous.

Thriving is such a courageous choice to take.

With love always,

Anel

PS:  Ready to choose brave?

Then send a mail to anel@anelbester.com to find out more about how you can work with me and liberate yourself.

 

 

 

 

 

 

When a woman finds her truth, her voice, her courage…

As I sit in bed, luxuriating in the warmth of the soft down duvet, the smell of coffee fragrantly teasing my nose, the sounds of piano keys being tickled in the background,

I can’t help but smile.

I’ve been smiling a lot lately.

Life has been unfolding in a delightful, unexpected, beautifully simplistic chaotic, way.

The way life tends to do.

It seems a lifetime ago that I lay on the grass in the open field, sobbing my heartbreak into Mother Earth.

I thought I couldn’t bare another moment of the unappreciated existence which I felt was my life.

I was so done with the feeling that no matter what I did, no matter how much I gave, it was never good enough.

I was not good enough.

I was so over the feeling of being invisible.

Screaming in silence as my words fell on deaf ears.

I had never felt more isolated,  more alone.

My soul a stained glass window,  broken shards held together by mascara, wine, chocolate and empty calories.

I couldn’t imagine having one more frivolous conversation with someone about something which didn’t really matter.

When all I wanted to do was scream ‘I’M FUCKING DYING!’

A truth which I knew inside.

Yet I couldn’t quite figure out what to do about it.

How to stop the insane rollercoaster ride where I felt so out of control, holding on for dear life, praying to God that the tracks don’t run out.

Everywhere I turned I saw false smiles, people barely coping from one day to the next, continuously rushing, continuously accumulating more debt to increase the already suffocating burden in a desperate attempt to be happy.

I saw women no longer trusting women.

After years of backstabbing, pity parties and bitching, we’ve forgotten how to uplift each other, inspire each other, appreciate that bond unique to us.

And on the floor of nature, I’ve spent a lot of my time on the floor, I sobbed it all out.

Little did I know that it’s in the moments we break open, in the moments we surrender, in the moments where we as women finally decide enough and no more, that we come alive.

By the time I got home I felt lighter.

I felt that something had shifted.

And I knew that for me to continue shedding the layers of old, the lies, the bullshit, for me to continue on this new path I had placed my feet upon, I would need guidance and support.

I signed up with the most unexpected coaches, from business building to pussy-healing, who guided me to find my truth, my voice.

I am so grateful to these women who have courageously stepped into their power in service of women like me.

Appreciation which I continue to show by living in service to my soulmate clients.

You are the reason I stay the path.

They guided me to start questioning all that I believed up to that point.

To believe in myself.

They never gave me a single answer.

Only more questions.

It was the start of the most empowering, most liberating experience of my life.

I started looking outside of the methodologies we’re taught for success and discovered that as women, we do life, we do business, we do creation, we do pleasure, very different from the boys.

I remembered the immediate transformation that wild dancing brings to my energy.

When I allow the strands of a sexy melody to caress and move my limbs like an attentive lover who intrinsically understands what brings me pleasure, I allow all the emotions to flow through me.  Bringing sweet release.  Bringing sweet joy.

I remembered the thrill I get from beauty and the power in allowing myself to receive it.

Beautiful candles, silky fabrics caressing my skin, the turn-on I get from a lacy panty, the delight I get each time I consume my food with my eyes.

I remembered that true healing is not gained from therapy but from forgiveness.

Forgiving all those who have taught me the toughest of lessons in life.  Appreciating the love their souls have for me, that they were willing to participate in my journey at this level.

Forgiving myself for my part in the events.  As high achievers it’s easy to take responsibility from a space of shame and blame. The trick comes from taking responsibility from a space of compassion and curiosity to gain insight.  To stay open to seeing the breadcrumbs that we’ve left for ourselves to find our way home.

I remembered that true love starts with the woman in the mirror.

OMG it took me forever to hold my gaze and tenderly say “I love you, you are beautiful, thank you”

Yet the moment I could finally say it and mean it, the empty feeling I had inside filled with liquid gold.

I remembered that I am never alone and that all my power comes through me but is not of me.

I started writing to my higher self and not surprisingly, she wrote back.

In fact, most of the time you read my words, you are in fact reading hers.

I simply get out of the way and offer my fingers up to her voice.

I remembered that as a woman, pleasure is my fuel.

Not competition.

Not grinding.

Not breaking myself in the process.

Each time I allow myself to open to a new desire AND I insist on receiving it in a way that feels yummy, my energy goes up.

Life is good my friend.

Life is so good.

Now before you think I have it all worked out and sorted, I don’t.

In so many ways I feel like I’m only starting to wake up.

In so many ways I’m always feeling like a novice.

Because I believe we always are.

I believe that as long as we stay curious, hungry to remember more, we are growing.

And for me, growth is what life is all about.

A friend told me this week that she gets the sense of a tornado when she thinks about me.  That I should just stand on the outside and look in so I don’t lose my shit.

Because yes, when a woman wakes up to herself, when a woman takes a stand for her joy, her message, her truth, shit hits the fan.  Your physical world cannot remain the same.

It’s scary AF.

Because we’ve been so socialised to think predictability and safety is the ultimate goal.

It’s not.

Growth is.

And there’s very little safety in growth and very little growth in safety.

Ultimately though, feeling safe, like every single feeling, is a choice.

I don’t have to stand outside the tornado Darling.

I’m in the eye of the storm.

The quietest

most peaceful

place on the earth.

I watch as chaos reigns around me, everything I knew being uprooted and spun around in seeming destruction,

yet I trust

even when I hit moments of pure panic and hysteria

I believe

everything happens for me 

and I always ask for the grace of Goddess that all will happen for the highest and greatest good of all concerned.

So I watch, patiently, lovingly, knowing that everything will land in divine order, in divine timing, always.

Ultimately I never believed that I came to this life to stay safe and comfortable – I LOVE adventure way too much.

I believe I’m alive to awaken.

To question.

To challenge the system.

To speak a new truth where love is more powerful than the reigning system of fear.

I believe I’m here to lead the way for those who are ready to follow.

I believe that we’re all worthy, of true love, fulfilment, joy, power, liberation, freedom, abundance.

I read somewhere that men disconnected from their emotions with the purpose of finding a way to reconnect with it – their forgotten power.  As women, we took a vow of silence so that they may find their own way.  We have reached the time when our vow has come to completion and we have to find our voices once more.

THIS, is our awakening.

I believe every woman has an important story and it’s time we share.

From a space of celebration.

From a space of co-creation.

From a space of sisterhood.

From a space of collective healing.

From a space of love.

For only death is inevitable,

Thriving always remains a choice.

With love always,

Your fellow traverser of life, Anel

PS:  Does the vibration of my message resonate with a long-forgotten part inside of you?

The part of you that remembers you are magical.

Perfect.

Deserving of joy, love and abundance.

Does it ring true when I say to you that you are a powerful creator, an artist, a born leader, that you have something to share and you know people are ready to receive your gift?

More importantly, are you ready to rise above your fears and liberate yourself?

I know how scary it is.

Even taking the first step seems like an impossible ask.

But what is the alternative Darling?

Mere existence.

Continuing to wake up exhausted, frustrated, depressed?

If my words have been speaking to you, I ask you find just 20 seconds of insane courage inside of yourself.

Just enough time to drop me a mail anel@anelbester.com and find out more about Liberation.

I took a stand for my freedom, my joy, my thrive in service to you.

The ball is now in your court.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

You can’t domesticate a wild woman and expect her to thrive!

I didn’t question the voice.

The calling.

To run.

In the dark.

No light.

No guidance.

Just run.

As I approached the end of the street lights there’s a hesitation, fear slowly slinking her sneaky way from my mind into my muscles.

What the fuck was I thinking?

This is completely irresponsible.

Nobody even knows where I am.

Still

my feet keep moving.

My body screams for silence – I obey, pausing the passionate blast of Eminem, pulling my earphones to my neck.

Fuck

It’s dark.

The forest blocking out the soft glimmer of stars which I knew was somewhere up above.

My hand simply blends into the shades of black in front of my face.

My feet unsure.

What I wouldn’t give to be barefoot, to feel my connection to earth.

There’s an overwhelming desire to stop.

To turn around.

The trusted voice no longer making sense.

It’s been a while since I’ve put myself in a physically vulnerable place.

In fact, the last time was in South Africa.

I’ve become comfortable in my safe little paradise.

But I’m on a journey of liberation Darling.

Liberation from my programming.

Liberation from my inhibitions.

Liberation from my fear.

My word for 2018 is FREEDOM and apparently freedom is not for the faint of heart.

I tell myself to just keep taking one more step.

Just one more step.

As long as I find the courage for one more step, I’m okay.

Tears start spilling from my eyes.

I might be brave

but I’m fucking petrified.

I can’t fool myself.

I simply have to let the feeling move through me.

Allowing the fear to fuel my body with adrenaline.

The silence is complete.

The only sound that of my breath.

And just when I think I actually fucking CAN’T take it anymore, the mantra comes through.

Trust.

Faith.

Courage.

Honour.

Over and over.

It becomes the drum which dictates the beat of my stride.

I feel the shift.

Where I normally land on the balls of my feet, I’m landing flat.

Grounded.

Stable.

Where I normally let my arms half dangle by my sides, they pump purposefully.

My breath slows down.

My heartbeat stable.

And I keep moving.

Crying.

Chanting.

Praying that the angels will not leave my side and that soon I will find the purpose of this insane run.

Because I know that everything happens for me.

I know that every time I say yes to my soul, my soul gifts me gold.

I keep going until

I remember

I remember days when a warrior ran into battle

Trembling but determined.

With solid footing.

With heart beating.

The warrior in human form but with animal instinct!

The howl rips from my throat

LOUD AF

DEFIANT 

VICTORIOUS

WILD

And I break open a little further than before

In that howl I feel her break free!

My inner wild woman – the one that I’ve suppressed for so long in order for me to be accepted by the masses who fear the extraordinary.

I remember

Wo I am

I

The wild one

I never came here to be a tame domesticated animal,

lying around all day begging for love and attention.

I was never born to live in captivity.

I was never born to be dependent on the graces of others.

I was born WILD.

Wild beast

Wild passion

Wild power

WILD WOMAN.

Proud.

Honour filled.

I, who give myself permission to own my shit, my desires, my thrive.

I, who have the courage to speak my truth in a time when my truth goes against the accepted values, norms and beliefs.

I, who dare to be vulnerable and raw and unpolished.

I, who dare to dance with abandon at the most inappropriate times.

And I spontaneously start laughing.

The tears of fear turns into tears of celebration.

THIS is why I was called to run in the dark today.

To remember.

To reconnect.

To liberate.

What will it take for you to remember Gorgeous?

What will it take for you to remember that you were not born in captivity?

You were not born to have a muzzle silence your screams of outrage, of passion, of freedom?

What will it take for you to remember that you are wild for a reason?

  • It’s in your wildness that you will find your passion.
  • It’s in your wildness that you will find your courage.
  • It’s in your wildness that you will find your purpose.
  • It’s in your wildness that you will find your inner goddess!

You will find the strength which will take you into the dark, through the dark.

You will find the pleasure you so desperately seek, fulfilment from joy.

You will find the love and deep connection you’re so hungry for.

You will find the vision for the empire that you’re called to birth and you will unleash the creative thought required to build it.

Everything you want is right there, inside of you.

The wildling sitting in a cage constructed by your fear.

I want you to own the fact that a wild animal will never thrive in captivity.

Regardless of how bejewelled and prettified they are for the audience.

A wild woman will never thrive as a domesticated animal.

She loses her sparkle.

She loses her passion.

She loses her drive.

And then we wonder why more than half of the human population is depressed.

Because  a woman who suppresses her true nature can never be fulfilled and a man who lives with the shadow of his beloved will never find his soul.

He needs her to be her wild self.

Powerful.

Radiant.

A goddess in human form.

If you’re reading this thinking I’m stark raving mad, keep existing right on.

But

If you’re reading this and there’s a thickening in your throat, there’s tears forming behind your eyes,

HOWL DARLING

FUCKING HOWL!

Release your wild.

Liberate your beast.

Reclaim your soul.

It’s time.

Only death is inevitable.

Thriving wild, is a choice.

With love always,

Anel

 

PS:

YOUR LIBERATION COMES FROM REMEMBRANCE!

Remembering that you are the creator of your own reality. Through your emotions. Through your thoughts. Through your words.

That means throwing out the rule book of the oppressors.

Fuck their steps and systems.

This takes courage my friend – because you will be FULLY responsible for your outcomes.

You said you wanted to be empowered.

Well, let the exhiliration of freedom rush through your veins!

YOUR LIBERATION COMES FROM DESIRE!

Admitting what you truly want!  All of it.  No settling.  Being completely un-fucking-reasonable.  Diva divine.

Some of the most liberating words I was ever told is that a woman should NEVER have to choose.  A woman should have ALL that she desires.

YOUR LIBERATION COMES FROM DECISION!

Stomping down that sexy foot of yours and declaring to the Universe what you’re no longer available for and INSISTING on what you will accept as your new normal.

YOUR STANDARDS OF EXCELLENCE!

To the point where anything else is like WTF?

YOUR LIBERATION COMES FROM RECONNECTING WITH YOUR ESSENCE!

I know that you’re a magical beast. Witch of the old ways. Wise woman of lifetimes past.

I know that inside of you there’s a crone who has a shit ton to teach the lost ones of modern day society.

I know that inside of you is a voice, a story, a message which demands to be heard.

A healer, a bard, an artist waiting to be unleashed.

A goddess, an angel, a warrior with a mission.

And not doing so is fucking selfish!

It’s inconsiderate and it’s not the deal you made for this lifetime.

I’m ready to show you the way.

I’m ready to hold you to your truth, to reconnect you with your desire, to ignite your voice.

Are YOU ready?

Send me a message and find out more about Liberation.

 

 

 

 

 

 

There’s no power in silence and isolation!

Lovely how the wheel of life keeps turning…

Just when you think that things are so screwed up that you’ve lost the battle

YOU reach your point of enough and no more.

I reach my point of enough and no more.

WE reach our point of enough and no more.

And we start questioning.

Everything they told us in the current political, social and religious reign.

We start looking beyond the smoke screen and we see the fear they use to cloak our curiosity.

We start looking beyond our shame and we see the guilt they use to disconnect us from our pleasure.

We start looking beyond our hurt and we see the little boxes they use to hide our creative brilliance.

Yet awakening is only the first step.

And normally the most challenging, the most painful, the scariest, the loneliest part of the process.

I remember sitting for hours on end thinking I’d gone stark-raving mad!

That I couldn’t possibly share with others the darkness I found hidden inside.

The horrible sadness that seemed to consume me at times.

I tried speaking to some trusted friends and allies but couldn’t quite find the words so they fumbled in confusion and told I’ll be okay, it will blow over, but nobody told me HOW I would ever find my way back to normality.

Whatever the fuck normal was.

In retrospection I believe “NORMAL” was the problem in the first place.

I finally turned to the medical fraternity and they gave a convenient label, a box of pills and the number of a therapist.

Pills that kept me so out of touch with my feelings, I was nothing more than a hollow shell walking around saying the shit people wanted to hear just to make them happy.

Happy was such a foreign concept at that time.

As long as they were smiling I thought they were happy.

As long as they patted me on my head, my ass, I was behaving in a pleasing manner that made them happy.

A therapist who encouraged me to revisit all the pain, all the trauma of decades which I had put behind me without ever guiding me through forgiveness, appreciation and learning.

Rape

Abuse

Verbal

Physical

Moments of disillusionment of the true meaning of family

Times of betrayal by those whom I trusted implicitly

She made me relive this shit over and over and over

Ripping into me leaving me raw, bleeding, wanting to vomit

And then

The alarm would go off

She would hand me a tissue – “Our time is up.  Now go home and be gentle with yourself”.

MOTHERFUCKING BITCH!

Years of labels, pills and therapy did nothing but take me further down into a black pit of shame

Most people didn’t even know I had ‘depression’.

Most people didn’t even know I was struggling to get through the days.

In fact, the first time I told my husband he was floored.

He couldn’t understand.

What the fuck was wrong with me that I couldn’t be happy with my white-picket fence life?

What the fuck was wrong with him as a man, as a husband, that he couldn’t keep me happy?

I saw the pain in his eyes and immediately felt the weight of shame, guilt, blame

I shut down further!

Feeling like an utter failure

As a wife

As a mom

As a daughter

As a woman

I WAS SO FUCKED UP

CLEARLY I was responsible for making others feel bad, which is probably why I was labelled the black sheep of the family,

and according to my upbringing it’s our sole mission in life to make others happy.

We are responsible for their success.

We are responsible to keep them safe.

Regardless of how it breaks us down in the process.

As women, mothers, wives, sisters, we are expected to take whatever disrespect, whatever violence, whatever insults, gets thrown our way.

We have to take it, turn the other cheek, keep smiling, keep serving, keep loving.

We have to be a lady on the street and a slut in the bed – so I was told.

Lie on your back, close your eyes, and do your duty.

Charming.

Our bodies are continuously shamed, our natural rhythm, our menstruation, becomes an inconvenience to the world.  It embarrasses anal men so we teach our daughters to hide it.  It has been made dirty.  Young girls are asking for tablets that will stop the bleeding because it’s interfering with their performance.

We’re told that we are not sexual beings and that women don’t actually enjoy sex.

Are you kidding me????

The women I know happen to be ten times hornier than their male counterparts so quite frankly if your woman constantly has a headache, maybe it’s time for you to learn how to turn her on.

Because I can tell you that she sure as hell knows by now how to turn herself on Darling.

I know it’s not much better for men, but since I don’t have a penis I can’t speak from their point of view.

I can share my story.

I can share my perspective.

I can share my truth that ALL OF THIS IS COMPLETELY BONKERS!

And the more we keep quiet about it

The more we hide the fact that we get miserable not because there’s something wrong with us

but because there’s something SERIOUSLY FUCKING WRONG WITH THE SYSTEM

the more we condone the status quo.

My depression had nothing to do with my husband, my kids, my parents, my car, my bank balance, my home,

My depression had nothing to do with my past and all the hard lessons I’d received along the way

My depression had everything to do with the fact that I WAS COMPLETELY OUT OF INTEGRITY!

I am a witch who had disconnected from my magic.

I am a creature of abundance who had suppressed my true desires to live on crumbs.

I am a born artist who stopped unleashing my art to the world.

I was not showing the fuck up for you and I was not speaking my truth.

For that I apologise.

And I made a promise to myself that I will ALWAYS speak my truth going forward.

Even when my truth scares the shit out of me at times.

Even when my truth brings retaliation and bruises at times.

Even when my truth has me losing ‘friends and family’ left right and centre.

I finally understand that others abandoning us is a natural process of personal growth and individual choice,

the abandonment of self

That’s NOT natural

It’s heartbreaking

Soulbreaking

And the reason why so many people are feeling so fucking sad!

The more we think that labels and pills will save us

the more we give away our power

the more we get caught up in codependent relationships toxic to our creative muse

the further away our magic retreats

because we’ve made the magic wrong.

We’ve made our power wrong

we’ve made our bodies wrong

we’ve made our desires wrong

we’ve made our dreams wrong

we’ve made our truth wrong

we’ve made our sexuality wrong

we’ve made our individuality wrong.

 

We get so caught up in our ‘roles’ and ‘gender’

that we forget that first and foremost we came to this life as an individual, creative, talented, filled with desire for beauty and adventure, purposeful soul.

The roles they assign you is just another clever ploy to keep you so fucking busy that you never have the energy to fill up your cup.

The responsibilities they pile onto you is so over the top insane that you never have the capacity to think creatively.

They’ve told us that love wears a ring, that love has sex in missionary position, that love is hard work, that love is martyrdom, that love makes you so dependent on another for your happiness that when they leave or die, you die.

Fuck that shit Sister.

It’s time for us to break the silence and to co-create a world of true abundance, beauty, art, joy, orgasmic toe-curling pleasure, laughter, love, shine!!

What would YOU look like if you were feeling fully in receiving?

If you believed ALL of your desires, big, small, outrageous, were good and available to you right now?

What would YOU feel like if you woke up in the morning fully turned on, buzzing with creative energy and possibilities?

What would YOU be doing if you gave yourself permission to always follow your heart and live in flow?

What would YOU be saying if you always had the courage to speak your mind and let it fall where it may?

I would love to hear from you!

Drop me a mail anel@anelbester.com and share!

Seriously, just sitting there daydreaming, keeping it to yourself, ain’t gonna get results Gorgeous.

Break the silence.

Share the vision.

Speak it into form.

YOU’RE REALLY THAT POWERFUL.

The only reason you wouldn’t is because you’re afraid – what will she think?  will she judge me?  will she tell me I’m being ridiculous?  and then what?  what will she expect from me?  what will she demand of me?

So let me tell you

I’ll think you’re a badass courageous magnificent beast who can truly achieve ALL and MORE that you claim.  I won’t expect jack from you.  I won’t demand a single thing.  I will infuse your dreams with my magic because that’s simply what happens when we start sharing our dreams – more power.

Death is inevitable.

Living a life of thrive, that’s a choice Darling.

With love always,

Anel

PS:  Come play with me and the wild ones in Wild Woman Rebels.

 

 

 

 

IF YOU’RE NOT THRIVING, YOU’RE DYING!

I’m giving myself permission to be blunt today.

I fucking refuse to continue playing this game.

The game that people are stupid.

That they don’t know any better.

That they’re made of porcelain and that the truth will break them.

That they honestly think they can poison their bodies on a daily basis and not get fat and sick.

That they honestly think they can shame others and not be drenched in shame themselves.

That they honestly think they’re justified to rule through physical and verbal violence and abuse expecting love, loyalty and respect in return.

That they honestly think they can sit on a chair day in and day out, never moving ass, and not pick up back pain.

Let’s stop insulting each other’s intelligence.

I know they know better.

I’m done listening to those who tell me that I need to be more patient and sympathetic with people when they’re committing suicide right in front of my eyes!

I’m done keeping my opinion to myself when I see millions of people not only screwing themselves over, but every person they encounter or DON’T encounter because they don’t have the balls to show the fuck up and do their soul work.

I’m done watching people crumble with sorrow and regret when they think nobody is looking because they fucked up and instead of turning their lives around they sink deeper into depression.

They neglected those they love, those who gifted them the privilege of sharing part of their journey, because they chose alcohol and empty entertainment on a 50 inch screen as a means of escaping their bullshit choices in life rather than (wo)man up to their mistakes, taking corrective action, getting focused, and thriving!

I’m done seeing the masks slip and slide as men, women and children are desperately and exhaustedly trying to save each other because the sorrow is tangible even when their lips say they’re happy, when the only one who they need to save is themselves!

HOLY SHIT PEOPLE – ENOUGH AND NO MORE!

WAKE THE FUCK UP!

IF YOU’RE NOT THRIVING, YOU’RE DYING!

And stop telling me that you don’t have a choice.

You ALWAYS have choice.

You can choose to be a victim OR you can choose to be a victor.

You can choose to hide under the piles of bullshit that you can’t possibly do what you REALLY want to do because you’ll be letting too many people down.

YOU NOT SHOWING UP AS YOUR BEST HAPPIEST MOST VIBRANT SELF IS LETTING THEM DOWN!

Worse – it’s letting YOU down!

And it’s YOUR LIFE!

You can choose to keep telling me it’s too hard for you because you’re too far down the rabbit hole and I don’t understand or you can choose to GO ALL THE WAY DOWN AND HIT THAT ROCK BOTTOM WITH SUCH FORCE THAT YOU SKY ROCKET TO THE TOP!

You can choose to keep telling yourself that you’ll get your shit together tomorrow, next week, next month, next year or you can own the fact that DECISION IS IMMEDIATE AND AS LONG AS YOU POSTPONE ACTION YOU’VE NOT COMMITTED TO THE MOTHERFUCKING CHANGE AND YOU ARE JUST PAYING LIP SERVICE.

You can pretend not to know the answers.

You can keep telling me you’re not daring to dream because you can’t figure out the how…

You can keep telling me you’re not taking action because you don’t know the proven strategy…

You can keep telling me you’re not ready to commit to success because your relationships are complicated…

or you can choose to finally WAKE THE FUCK UP AND THRIVE!

It’s not that you don’t know,

you’re not stupid,

you’ve simply been brain-washed and put into a slumber to dull the pain of your potential being pissed down a drain!

You’ve simply allowed your balls / ovaries to shrink up, dry up, rolling away under the couch.

Waking up in the morning and NOT FEELING LIKE YOUR ASS IS ON FIRE WITH PASSION IS THE MOST SELFISH ACT IN THE WORLD!

I happen to know for a fact that you have it inside of you.

EVERTYTHING!

Everything you need to know to build your empire,

is inside of you.

Your personal blueprint to success.

Everything you need to make you smile

is inside of you.

Your desires are gifted to you because your Soul KNOWS what makes you happy.

You just have to remember how to ask for what you want and how to receive it without all the coy shit of ‘OMG is that for me??? Really?  You shouldn’t have’.

Everything you need to overcome physical pain

is inside of you.

Your body is the most advanced chemist in the world with hormones and connections the most brilliant of scientists have not figured out yet.

Everything you need to overcome adversity

is inside of you.

Your mind is the most powerful asset you will ever receive in your lifetime my friend.

But you have to start using her.

Use it or lose it.

That’s right

every time that you refuse to think for yourself, a piece of your brain dies

every time you drown her in a sea of alcohol, a piece of your brain dies

every time you choose to pop that tablet to take you far far away, a piece of your brain dies!

That’s how they keep you ‘stupid’ so you will mindlessly serve the machine.

STOP TELLING ME I’M OVERREACTING AND START SEEING THAT PEOPLE AROUND YOU ARE COMMITTING SUICIDE – MAYBE EVEN THE ONE IN THE MIRROR!

Everything you need to have that goddess sexy body you’re always talking about

is inside of you.

You don’t need those fat burners.  You need to nourish her.  You need to move her.  You need to pleasure her.

She will take care of the rest.

Everything you need to have mind-blowing pleasure

is inside of you!

Everything you need to have iconic levels of health

is inside of you!

Everything you need to have an out-of-body experience

is inside of you!

IT’S ALL RIGHT THERE!

And when you stop your petulant whining you will admit that you know it too.

You can tell me that I’m a royal bitch!

That I’m an insensitive cow.

You can rage because I’m never satisfied with your mediocrity.

You can keep telling me that you’re simply not like me,

and maybe you’re not,

maybe you’re choosing to play small,

maybe you’re choosing to hide your fucking magnificence because you’re too scared to shine

BUT STOP DENYING THAT I AM NO BETTER THAN YOU!

FUCK

YOU’RE PROBABLY TEN TIMES MORE TALENTED THAN I AM.

I am slow as fuck

in all areas

I owned this ‘weakness’ a long time ago

I’m never going to be a sprinter

So I trained resilience

perseverance

I trained my mind, my body, my spirit to be an endurance machine!

When others throw in the towel, I pick it up, I wipe off the sweat, I wipe off the tears, the snot, the blood, and I KEEP GOING!

It’s my choice!

I could have used my ego to keep me small.

To say that because it takes me longer to get somewhere than others I’m not good enough.

To walk away from everything I love saying that I simply have no natural born talent.

I chose instead to change my point of focus.

I stopped fucking around in the short term and I focus on the end game.

I stopped surrounding myself with those ‘who understand’ and started chasing those who wouldn’t slow down for me.

Those who never once gave me an ounce of sympathy.

Whatever you’re using as your excuse for not showing up, is nothing more than your potential power untrained.

It’s the gifts from the Universe that allows you to grow those parts of you that will be your greatest asset.

But that’s not going to happen as long as you choose to feel sorry for yourself, as long as you choose to surround yourself with sympathisers, as long as you choose to label yourself as faulty, as long as you stay with those for who ‘your average is good enough’.

Fuck good enough!

ALWAYS INSIST ON EXCELLENCE!

FROM YOURSELF

FROM EVERYONE YOU ALLOW INTO YOUR SPACE

Stop settling for smiling when you can have belly-aching laughter.

Stop settling for ‘dutiful’ sex when you can be having spiritual orgasms.

Stop settling for good when you deserve great!

That’s it!

That’s all I have to say on this.

It’s time for you to realise that death is inevitable.

Have you chosen to thrive yet?

With love eternal,

Anel “The Bitch”

 

 

 

 

Sometimes I have to break down to break through.

As my feet sank into the ice cold sand, coffee in hand, patiently waiting for the ball of fire to crest the horizon, I looked right with slight apprehension.

It was time for an uncomfortable conversation with God.

I still struggle with this at times – never underestimate the power of indoctrination.

I was raised in a christian home where I was told to fear God.

That I was born a sinner, bad, dirty, unworthy.

I had to grovel and kiss ass.

If I didn’t obey ‘his’ rules I would burn in hell for all eternity.

I had to go through the ‘dominie’ to pray and then hand over my 10% to the ‘diaken’ fervently hoping that it will be enough to buy my way into heaven.

I’m getting there, slowly but surely peeling back the layers of fear-laden lies – owning my shit, reconnecting to the inner knowing that I’m a god-particle and that Goddess is pure love.

Life has been good lately, to the point that I’m almost feeling guilty walking on the beach, knowing that my conversation is about to go down for wanting more.

Surely I should just be grateful for all that I’ve been receiving which I know is more than billions of others.

Shit tons of joy.

More magic than I’ve experienced in ages.

Growth.

Dreams coming true.

Receiving all that I’m asking for and then some.

From the outside people are telling me how ‘easy’ my life looks and how it’s not fair that I get to have fun each day, working with soulmate clients I absolutely adore, moving my body in new ways that is creating greater levels of strength and flexibility.

Except change – whether defined as good or bad – is never effortless.

It requires continuous focus.

It requires massive amounts of energy.

It requires discipline to keep your shit together when you’re being challenged.

It would be so easy to fall apart every time I encounter an obstacle.

To sit down with everyone else.

To bitch and moan at the tea party.

It would be so easy to throw in the towel every time the climb to the top became too much for my burning quads.

I’ve learned to be a resilient little bitch.

Over the years I’ve been gifted with abuse, verbal, physical, sexual, people who broke me down.

Left for dead on the floor time and again.

Having to find the strength from within to rise.

To crawl.

To stumble.

THANK YOU.

I’ve been gifted with systems and cultures of pure oppression, imprisoning the masses through codependent ‘love’ and fear.

THANK YOU.

I’ve been stabbed in the back so many times you can create a tattoo from all the scars.

THANK YOU.

I learned a long time ago that moments of ‘weakness’ in the wrong company would lead to punishment or sympathy.

Both disastrous for my success.

I only show my underbelly in the space created by my coach.

Where I can release all the pent up frustration, un-faced fears, confusion, doubt, in a space of deep acceptance, where I never get rescued but am allowed to ride out the wave until I can reconnect to my wisdom again.

Sometimes I go directly to Source.

I continue walking and I take a deep breath.

Unexpectedly I start feeling tired.

It’s been a challenging few months of continuous smashing glass ceilings.

I let that wash over me.

I’ve been making the tough decisions I’ve not had the courage to make before.

I let that flow through me.

For the first time in my life I’m falling in love with myself.

Every day.

I let that embrace me.

I start off by telling God how deeply thankful I am for all the blessings in my life.

Appreciative of all the amazing changes that has come to fruition.

Yet I’m frustrated.

FUCKING FRUSTRATED,

I’ve come so far

Yet I feel a block remaining

And I’m doing all the work

all the introspection

every single day

why

the

hell

can’t

I

break

through

and reconnect with the ancient magic I FEEL lying within me.

I release all constraints on emotion and listen to my voice rise with passion

ENOUGH!

I’m

Impatient

Petulant

Raging

NO MORE.

And then

It happens

I break

I break down

I break open

Deep sobs racking my body

Tears streaming down my face

Sweet release of all which I was unaware of holding in.

The radiance of the sun breaks his first rays over the horizon, lighting me up

and I hear the voice inside my head

“You have to allow yourself to break down so you can break through”

YES!!!

I get it.

In a society where I’ve felt unsafe since my first breath, I’ve become a master warrior.

I’ve trained my body and my mind to be indestructible.

I’ve embraced every blow, every heartache, and I have used the wounds to grow scar tissue,  making me tougher.

But magic doesn’t come from strength alone.

Magic comes from love.

Love comes from emotional connection.

With ourselves.

It comes from embracing all our thoughts, all our experiences, all our relationships, all our parts.

It comes from allowing it all to flow freely through us.

Which is terrifying.

We’ve been told that certain emotions will destroy us.

They’ve been branded as unacceptable and coloured by old wive’s tales of how they will lead to abandonment, loneliness and eventual death.

Anger

Sadness

Fear

Pain

We’re given a wide variety of narcotics to suppress those emotions

whether anti-depressants

anti-multi-dimensional-attention

alcohol

uppers

downers

you name it,

they’ve created it in laboratories and factories, sanctioned by the government.

Any emotion that would lead to an outburst of expression has been labeled as destructive and we’ve been told to suppress it.

What they’re not telling you is that disconnection from emotion is in fact disconnection from your magic my Darling.

The voice keeps speaking.

‘Magic comes from trust.’

Trust in divine timing and truly believing that all happens for you.

I’ve always been very honest about the fact that I’m quite the impatient witch.

I’ve demanded AVALANCHES of abundance, not always appreciating the constant flow which has been my supply.

Now, looking back, I can see that whilst my personal creation was but a seedling she would have been washed away in a downpour of water.

Instead, in eternal love and wisdom, I was gifted with a mist-rain.

Which, in retrospection, was perfect.

NONE of this wisdom would have come forth had I not allowed myself to break down whilst having coffee with Goddess.

None of this would have been available to me had I not listened to the whisper in my heart which insisted I take a cup of coffee down to the beach and watch the sun rise.

None of this would have been received had I not given myself permission to cry, to listen from within, to receive.

So often as high achievers we get caught up in being the warrior.

The strong leader for all those around us.

To put on the brave face so that everyone who follow us will feel confident in our decisions, trusting us to show them the right way.

Except all ways are right.

All decisions are always perfect.

Everything unfolds in divine timing.

And it’s been my personal experience that we receive these nuggets of wisdom and insight in the moments we let ourselves break down our structures, our barriers of safety,

when we allow our emotions to overtake us

tears to be flow unashamedly

releasing control

vulnerable

open

raw.

I believe it is the responsibility of every leader, creative, artist, healer, achiever to seek out spaces of safety for deep, vulnerable, introspection.

Whether that space is with a trusted mentor, coach, mastermind partner or God herself.

It’s up to you to ensure you have the support whilst letting your emotions run free so that you may connect with your magic and bring forth your empire of impact in a way that feels liberating.

Don’t expect your partner or friend to hold this space.

They have a vested interest in the outcome and it’s not fair on them.

They want to see you happy.

They struggle with your pain.

They want to make it all better.

I believe it’s the responsibility of each and every person alive to start questioning the system, the truths we’ve been told to swallow without investigation, to start the personal healing required to bring global healing to humanity so that we can bring an end to the reigning insanity where misery, disease and fear is lining the pockets of those in power.

I believe it’s the responsibility of every parent to reclaim their shattered souls so that they may break the cycles of poverty, abuse and addiction so prevalent in our homes.

I believe it starts with me.

Doing the work.

Sharing my story.

With the intention that it will spark a desire in YOU

to do the work

to share your story.

I believe it is though sharing our stories that we will finally claim our personal truths and the more people who find the courage to share their learnings and insights, the faster magic can be returned to us.

I believe it is YOUR time now and I do believe that you are ready.

But you have to choose to believe it for yourself.

That’s free will Sexy.

For only death is inevitable,

Thriving truly is a choice.

With love always,

Anel

PS:  How would it feel to build an Empire completely aligned and in serive to your true mission?

To create a life of flow which always includes a rocking body and tons of energy?

How would you like to have relationships that has you gasping with delight from your clients to your kids to your lovers to your friends?

More energy and creativity than you’ve ever experienced because you’ve left behind the realm of mere mortals and connected with your soul?

YES you can have it all and more.

It starts with a decision followed by action.

If you’re ready to stop playing small, to stop marinating in misery and to step onto your stage of life, I invite you to take a look at Liberation and apply today.