What’s the impact of you continuously pressing pause?

Okay ladies, now before ya’ll get out the pitch forks, know that I will die for my kids and yes we have an unbreakable bond.

This piece is not for the women who have dedicated their lives to raising their kids and who consciously and joyfully choose it every single day.

If raising kids is what lights you up, I am not worthy!

Seriously, I have so much respect for these women.

The souls who came to this lifetime to raise our future leaders with their passionate approach to life.

This piece is for all the women who say they want to build an empire, who are waking up bloated with dissatisfaction,  yet never show up as a motherfucking empress!

Yes – get ready to be triggered!

And if you’re in a shitty mood, walk away.

If on the other hand you’re ready to go into a little fury, if that is what it will take today to get you off your ass, then keep reading Sunshine.

I’m writing this because I too used my kids as an excuse for not showing up fully for myself and my life purpose for many MANY years.

‘Oh I can’t possibly work twelve hours a day, I have kids.

I can’t possibly travel all over the world, I have kids.

I can’t possibly be sexy AF, I have kids.

I can’t possibly go on dangerous adventures that sets my soul on fire, I have kids.

I can’t possibly start now, the kids are still babies.

Oh no, not yet, the kids are on holidays.’

And on and on it goes.

Don’t worry, I started waking up slowly but surely and gave in to some of my desires.

The ones that wouldn’t be denied any longer.

Yet there were still some, which I didn’t share with a living soul, that I swallowed down.

Saying it’s because of my kids

or my husband said I couldn’t

but in fact, it was just me being chicken shit.

I’m owning that today.

Some might say it was such little things, that I still did great – here Anel, have a noddy badge- but I know there’s a ripple effect of every decision we make.

I’ve also come to the deep understanding that there’s a huge motherfucking knock-on effect every time we press pause.

You think it’s only for a couple of weeks during the school holidays, but the momentum that you loose is enormous!

Plus take into account just how many fucking holidays there are these days, and you start understanding why some people dig deep for a couple of years and then explode onto the stage, and why others slog away for decades and hardly get out of the starting blocks.

The first steps are always the hardest.

They take the most effort, the most energy out of you.

And every time you press pause

You’re starting over.

I’m not judging my decisions.  They were mine to make.  They brought me to this point.  All is perfect.

However I do believe my journey is in service to you – to shortcut your learning if you choose, so use it or lose it.

Here’s another ripper for you –

If you’re living your life in little compartments of work, play, family, love, sex, meditation, training, friendship, etc, you’re doing it fucking wrong!

THIS is the way our parents ‘did’ life

And I have to say,

there’s not many of them rocking it out thriving today.

This way of ticking boxes is how the oppressors keep the minions in line.

Too exhausted to think for themselves.

Too brainwashed to break free of the box.

But you’re not a minion Darling.

Not if you’re in my space.

You’re here to bring change

MASSIVE fucking change

To remind people that life is to be treasured and enjoyed every single day,

Every single aspect of it.

And if you’re doing shit because you think you ‘have to’ do it,

you’re screwing yourself over.

There is not a single part of my life that I am pressing pause on for any other part.

Every single aspect is in alignment with my soul.

My family life, my business life, my soul life, my fitness life.

Each of these get attention and priority every single day.

Regardless of the date on the calendar.

Regardless of whether somebody declared a public holiday or not.

In my opinion if you’re looking forward to a public holiday so you can NOT train, NOT work, NOT hang with your clients or colleagues, or whatever you’re trying to escape from, it’s time for you to sit your sweet ass DOWN and start doing some deep introspection.


Shocker right?

Why the fuck wouldn’t I train?

I LOVE moving my ass.


Why the fuck wouldn’t I work?

My work, my soul work, lights me up!


Why the fuck wouldn’t I hang with my boys?

My boys are my heart and I adore my time with them.

My life flows.



Blending beautifully.

Which is why I no longer have to press pause.

Everyone I’ve allowed into my space is soulmate quality meaning I no longer have to explain or validate my life choices.

If you don’t agree, I respect that, but tell me that you’re absolutely 100% showing up for your purpose every single day, thriving, satisfied, proud.

Tell me that you take FULL responsibility for your choices and you make them CONSCIOUSLY. 

That you’re consciously sacrificing your dreams, not because you’ve been socialised to be a martyr, not because you’re too scared to be truly successful, but because THIS is all you want.

Tell me that you’re showing up the way you want your kids to show up for themselves one day.

That you’re setting the example of being courageous enough in this judgemental world to be happy!

To do what lights you up.

To only be in the relationships that has you giddy with joy.

To rock your body because she has to take you all the way to the grave and you’ve decided that you’re going to dance your way to your deathbed instead of being pushed there in a wheelchair.

Tell me that you look in the mirror with pride and adoration.

Believing in yourself.

Believing yourself.

That you have honour.

That you’re living the dream.

Consciously choosing.

Taking the time to assess the ripple effect of your decisions today on tomorrow, next week, next month, ten years from now.

It’s fucking hard.

I know.

There’s been so many times that I’ve cowered in fear.

Not stepping up to the plate.

Holding my family up in front of me like a shield because in all honesty I was too fucking scared to make shit happen.

I too used to be the queen of pressing pause in my life.

To let the actions and decisions of others dictate the course of my life.

YES, I too was the terrified passenger.

Because I didn’t believe I could ride that Bugatti.

But now I know I can.

I believe in myself.

I had to work my ass off to get to this point.

A point of living courageously.

Not fearlessly.

Fearlessly happens when you’ve handed your power over to others and you shut down.

Not having to take responsibility for anything because you always have a convenient scapegoat for your misery.



You are so powerful that they can’t take it away from you.

Which means if you’re feeling helpless, powerless, you GAVE it away and you can TAKE it back!

Any time.

Right now.

You simply have to decide.

You have to decide that you’re going to live life full throttle.

Regardless of how tough the journey is.

Regardless of the naysayers, especially those residing in your head.

You have to fucking decide and then you have to press play.

You have to take action.




No matter what the calendar says.

Because you’re not doing.

You’re BEING the empress of your life!

No more excuses.

No more waiting until next month.

No more hiding behind your family.

Grow a pair.

Rise up.


Only death is inevitable.

Are you starting to understand just how courageous a choice thriving is?

With love always,


PS:  If you’re still reading then I know there’s a part of you feeling something you haven’t felt for a very long time.


There’s a part of you sighing in relief that finally your ego is quiet for a nanosecond and your truth can be heard.

That you are the creator of your reality.

And that everything you see is not created by others, but by a power inside of you.

Maybe you’ve gone into spectator mode for the last years, to experience life as you don’t want to thrive, but you can decide to get off that bench right now Darling.

You can decide to get onto the field and finally start playing!

As captain of your team.

You can start creating your life consciously.

From inside of you.

Any way you want.

Welcome to your liberation.

Where no rules exist.

Instead you reconnect with the ancient magic that has been lying dormant inside.

You remember all the wisdom of ages gone and you rise as the warrior, the rebel, the leader, the creator, the artist, the achiever that you were born to be.

If you’re ready to be guided by me on this path, apply today.

See more details at Liberation or simply send a mail to anel@anelbester.com and let’s see if you’re truly ready to press play fully.