Change is a beautiful thing.
Scary as hell.
It demands total commitment.
And let’s be honest here Darling, very few people exhibit true commitment in their lives these days. It could be out of fear that they will be labelled as obsessed, weird, anal, boring.
We both know that the culture of mediocrity adores labels.
For me, commitment is 100%. Nothing less.
You are either committed, or you’re not.
And like a jealous lover, Change is not prepared to share you with Procrastination.
That is because she knows that change in and of itself, is challenging.
It demands that you question your values up to this point.
It demands that you question your choices up to this point.
It demands that you do some introspection and ask yourself why, if this change is good for you, have you not done it before?
Why in fact, have you done the opposite which be default then implies that you’ve done something that was possibly bad for you?
Honest, judgement-free introspection takes balls.
It has to come from a place of total unconditional self-love for it to be effective. Otherwise you’re still buying into the victim mentality so prevalent.
What do people do?
They listen to someone passionately express their choices, their behaviour and the results they’ve received from embracing this choice. It’s clear that they are happier than you are. More at peace.
And you get caught up in their conviction.
So you say YES, I’m going to change!
I’m going to do it differently.
I’m going to get my shit together.
I’m going to do it!
Instantly you destroy any chance you’ve had of lasting change.
Because you’re not committing to change from a place of deep inner knowing, conviction, and honour.
Your current behaviour is more alluring than the benefit of change.
Your reluctance is your inner two year old pricking up her ears and saying “HOLD ON BUSTER, I’m not willing to give up anything! I’m not willing to give up my pleasure. I’m not willing to sacrifice. Fuck ’em – they’re lying. I deserve to smoke. I deserve to drink. I deserve to eat as much shit as I want to. I deserve to hold on to my codependent relationships. I. WILL. NOT. BE. MOVED!”
Even though you’re paying everyone lip service of how it’s going to be different going forward, that’s all it is Honey Bunny. Lip Service.
Do yourself a favour, and rather say Hell No!
Aren’t you exhausted from feeling like a failure?
From waking up each morning and howling “What the fuck is wrong with me? Why am I always sabotaging myself? Why can’t I just get it right?”
Well maybe it’s because you’ve been kissing ass for so long that you’ve forgotten who the fuck you truly are!
Maybe you’ve been saying Yes to everything that you want to say No to thereby stacking the deck against yourself.
Saying Yes to things that are contradictory to your core values is failure.
I understand that it takes 66 consecutive days of new behaviour for the neural pathway to be formed, but change happens in a nanosecond.
It comes back to making a decision and becoming a woman of your word.
Not for anyone else.
But for YOU!
If you can’t begin to trust yourself you’re screwed.
You’ll never take the real risks that will lead to iconic levels of health, success, joy and pleasure.
You’ll never honour yourself and your desires to the point where mediocrity is simply not tolerated.
You’ll never love yourself to the point where you can truly love humanity enough to have those boundaries in place, giving people the security they require to have meaningful relationships with you.
And it all starts with making Hell Yes or Hell No choices of change.
If you’re not willing to draw a line in the sand and to say that “I’m changing as of right now”, say no.
I don’t believe that you’re addicted to jack shit unless you choose to be.
I chose to stop smoking in a moment.
I chose to stop drinking in a moment.
I chose to stop taking antidepressants and become well in a moment (with a punching bag).
I’m nothing special.
I’m exactly the same as you.
I simply decided that I’m a woman of my word.
That my yes was a Hell Yes and that my no was a Hell No.
That empty promises is fucking boring and a waste of my time.
That understanding my true values, have clarity on my vision, committing to achieving my goals, makes my life super easy and quite frankly I’m here for a purpose and that purpose doesn’t include keeping others happy.
My purpose is kicking ass, not kissing it.
It’s a pity that so many people miss the love in my message and instead choose to get their backs up – but that’s their choice and I always respect that.
We’re coming up to the end of the year and I’m already hearing people say that they’re going to change as of the first of January 2018.
They’re not going to change.
They’re just full of hot air, blowing smoke up your ass so you will approve of them.
So how do you commit to hell yes change?
We go back to the beginning – figure out your values!
I simply cannot over-emphasize this enough. Your values are the foundation of your life. Take the time to figure out what is truly important to YOU – not your parents, not your culture, YOU.
Connect to your purpose. YES we all have a purpose. People who say you don’t have a purpose are just too bum-ass lazy to figure it out. What is your message to the world? What is the pain that keeps you up at night, that eats you up inside?
For me it’s seeing people exist.
FUUUUUUUUCK! It kills me – I have been there and I’m so passionate to empower people to understand that they can truly thrive! But they have to choose to thrive and they have to do the work!
Create your vision. Set your goals. Commit to them. Death before DNF – which eliminates the whole failure debate. It’s not over until you’ve succeeded therefor failure is an illusion. The journey might simply be longer than anticipated. More learning needs to take place. But whilst you’re still breathing, it’s not over.
The moment you get to this point everything else is easy.
If the change brings you in alignment it’s a HELL YES, immediately.
If not, it’s a HELL NO.
Stop overcomplicating shit.
And if you haven’t figured out your values, your purpose, your vision yet, then just say no to everything for now! At the very least it will make you feel like you have some balls to stand up for yourself. It will not be setting you up for failure – you will start feeling like a winner.
It’s time for your to feel like a goddamned winner.
You are so powerful Darling.
Stop pretending to be a victim.
Stop pretending to be weak.
Stop kissing ass.
For death is inevitable.
Thriving is a choice.
PS: I work with HELL YES people. Those who are taking an objective look at their lives right now and saying “It’s time for change. Right now. Today. I’m getting up and I’m moving forward leaving behind all the bullshit that has been keeping me at levels less than my best.”
Are you that person?
Are you done with your excuses? With your half-assed goals? With your non-committal to excellence and thrive?
Ignite is 90 minutes to get you up and moving in the direction of your true desires. Of getting clear on your values, setting your goals, identifying the beliefs that will ensure success.
If we’re a powerful match and you decide to continue on the coaching journey with me, I will offset this investment on your six month package. If not, you still walk away with clarity, action and purpose.
Is it a Hell Yes for you?