I’m not a feminist.
Not by any stretch of the imagination.
I happen to adore men.
I love their often dry sense of humour, wicked and clever.
I admire the way their bodies respond to training with bulging muscles and lean corners.
I thrive when they allow themselves to be powerful, decisive, clear and to the point.
The empowered masculine is a thing of beauty!
So is the empowered feminine.
I’m at the point in my life where I no longer depend on man to love me.
To shower me with words of appreciation whispered into my sensitive ear.
I’m done seeking approval in they eyes of another, for someone to tell me that the dress that hugs the curve of my hips makes me look like a goddess.
That I’m worthy.
That I’m always provided for.
To hold me as raptures of passions rips through my body.
I’ve come to the conclusion that the fairy tales of love and romance is just another way of disconnecting us from truth.
Instead I believe that love starts with us.
I believe that seeking your better half is bullshit.
Quite frankly Darling, if you think that there’s something better out there you’re in for a rude awakening.
For the best half of you is YOU.
And if you can’t love yourself, you’re incapable of loving anyone else.
Which is why we so eagerly criticise our partners once the oxytocin has left the building.
When we start looking at them the same way we look at ourselves – faulty and fucked up a little.
Relationships are nothing more than mirrors.
Which means if you don’t love you, you can’t possibly love another.
That’s the lesson we’re here to learn.
I suspect Life might be a woman.
She can be quite the sly and crafty little bitch when she’s in the mood.
At first we come to Life – falling in love with ourselves from the first moment we catch a glimpse in the mirror.
Oh my, is there anything more precious than a baby laughing at her own reflection?
The way she eagerly kisses herself in the mirror?
The way she can’t get enough of seeing herself twirl and giggle?
Then, the disconnect happens.
Through layers of criticism, belittling, judgement, punishment, she finally gives in to the convincing voices of those who ‘love’ her, who want to protect her, who wants her to fit in so that she won’t be ostracised for being too wild, too different, too fucking full of herself.
So they break her spirit.
The way a wild horse is broken in.
To be obedient.
All in the name of love.
Because when we see a magnificent stallion and we fall in love with him, of course we have to fucking break him so we can find joy in riding him.
The exterior beauty minus the internal spirit.
A little fucked up don’t you think?
The same way we meet a beautiful wild, powerful, man or woman and fall head over heels in love .
We decide we simply can’t live without them.
Except in order for us to be happy, we have to change them, break them, so they won’t wander, won’t conquer, won’t leave us.
A lottle fucked up. (Lottle is a lot of little in case you’re wondering).
Because that little girl who adored herself is now so fragmented that she has the same warped impressions of love as her parents, and their parents before them, and their parents before them.
All the way back to when the community became more important than the individual.
With all my love, screw the community.
I believe that love has to start with ourselves again.
Way too many broken, fragmented, desperate people are walking around not understanding what the hell is going on.
There is a global awakening, no doubt about that. Yet if you’re not spiritually attuned to this you have no clue of what is causing the energetic shift. All you know is that life as you’ve known it up to this point is falling apart. That you’re waking up in the morning feeling hollow, disillusioned, fucking miserable.
You see the beautiful home, the luxury car, your perfect kids growing up. All the stuff you thought would make you happy. Yet nothing, no joy, no bliss.
You look at your partner wondering to yourself “Who the fuck are you? I don’t even know you anymore”.
You look in the mirror and quickly lower your eyes because the miserable face devoid of glow fills you with so much sorrow you want to scream your rage at the loss of your beauty. You want to howl your agony at the years gone by that has left you feeling fuck-all.
A life of existence.
And for what?
You sit there and you have no clue how to go on.
Because you don’t know where to start.
You don’t have a fucking clue.
School never taught you any of this.
Church didn’t teach you how to love yourself above all others.
Your parents never taught you how to pleasure yourself.
None of the shit that really matters were passed down to you because that would have you wild, living life on your own terms, joyous, free, expansive, thriving.
And let me tell you my most treasured friend, that a person thriving creates thrive for everyone!
When you fall deeply in love with yourself, truly, madly, deeply, when you raise the standards of living for yourself, when you honour and respect your individuality, when you have powerful boundaries
You don’t become a selfish, criticizing, destructive bitch.
Even though that’s what they told you.
In fact, the complete opposite happens.
When true love, self love, fills your heart, your being,
it expands to everyone around you.
You see the beauty and perfection in everyone that you meet.
You want more for everyone because you’re just so phenomenally fucking happy you want everyone to be their best, most joyous, most powerful selves.
You don’t want to castrate the bull.
You have no desire to break the stallion.
Instead you appreciate the beauty and power of wild.
People stop being your property because love doesn’t come with shackles.
So I put it to you Darling, isn’t it about time we start a self-love revolution?
Isn’t it time we stop trying to fix everyone else and start falling in love with ourselves?
Isn’t it time we stop blaming everyone else, wipe the slate clean, draw a line in the sand and start living forward rather than walking blindly because our gaze is constantly on the past?
Oh what a liberation!
To see the reflection in the mirror and feeling nothing but love, compassion, adoration.
And then living your entire day from this energy.
Just open yourself up to the possibility.
Your assignment today, should you so choose to do, is to journal on how different your world be today if you loved yourself truly, madly, deeply.
Put on those old love songs.
Light a candle.
Pour yourself your favourite beverage in your best glass.
And just let it all out.
It’s not that hard.
But it does take a little courage.
Because it goes against everything you’ve been taught.
I dare you,
live a little.
For death is inevitable.
Thriving is a choice which includes radical self love.
With love eternal,
Your selfish little bitch, Anel
PS: I’m feeling inspired to dedicate the month of November to the Goddess Guinevere. To take women on a journey of discovering and harnessing true love in their lives. Starting with themselves.
If you’re a woman starving for the deep satisfaction that can only be attained through self-love, if you’re feeling teary at the prospect of looking in the mirror and adoring your reflection then I lovingly invite you into Wild Woman Rebels where starting Monday 6 November, I’ll be hosting a little Self-love Revolution. During the entire month of November I will unlock your wild. I will show you how to clear the bullshit that has starved your soul and we will dance my Darling. We’re gonna romance YOU until the glow of your magnificence lights up this whole planet.
I’m not calling this a free challenge. I don’t want you to feel challenged. I want you to feel empowered, opulent, magical, joyous.
So bring a sister, a best friend along and join us today. Let’s start loving the most important person in your existence – YOU.