This blog is dedicated to Susie. Thank you for honoring my howl Sister.
It’s an interesting experience – this thing called social life.
When we first leave our mother’s womb, we’re encouraged to cry out in a loud albeit squeaky voice. To be heard. To be celebrated.
Then… not so much.
Instead our cries are seen as a sign that something’s wrong – a loud interruption which has to be silenced asap.
Sometimes through the gentle rock of loving arms.
Sometimes with angry voices and tears of frustration.
Sometimes through no response at all.
We’re told we are a social creature too weak to live alone. We quickly learn the language of our ‘people’ to feel safe, to find our place, to belong. We learn that certain expressions are welcomed, rewarded with sweeties or loving words and bright smiles. Others are met with disdain leaving us filled with a sense of shame and uncertainty in self. What have I said wrong? Why doesn’t he like it when I express my thoughts and feelings? Why am I being shunned?
So we adapt instead of understanding that even though we look the same, we’re not necessarily the same.
Some learn to sing like the pretty birds who twitter excitedly in the morning. Others to roar like the mighty lion surrounding themselves with a powerful pride and strut through the world. Some just keep quiet altogether and snuggle in slumber like the hibernating bear.
And then there are those of us who turn our backs on it all. Instead we love the silence which is created through the path walked alone. Silence which gets broken when the passion in our bellies rise into our throats and tears out in a mighty howl. Not expecting or requiring an answer. Not needing or wanting anyone to rush to our side.
We choose times when we seek the fun playful energy of the pack. Where collaborative power is seen at its best. And then, without explaining our reasons or our desires, we leave again and walk alone.
I’ve found that those who are not of my breed find it hard to comprehend. In their effort to place me in a category they can understand they judge me as a loner, an introvert, shy. I’ve even been called selfish and a freak for loving my own company as much as I do.
Funny thing is whether a bird or a lion, a bear or a wolf, all is celebrated by Creator as equal. Each is perfect in their exquisite detail down to the last toe-nail.
Each creature lives comfortably with their kind. You don’t see birds trying to roar and you don’t see bears trying to fly. It’s only people who appear to put continuous judgement, making desperate attempts to change their inherent spirit to be one of the ‘cool kids’. And quite frankly that hurts like a mofo.
What if we stopped that shit?
What if we accepted and celebrated the differences?
What if instead of encouraging others to be like us, we call to ourselves those who are like-minded?
Today I invite you to sit down in a moment of silence and explore your truth. Shut out the noise of media, draw the curtains and journal on the following:
- When do you feel uncomfortable, fraudulent, shame and fearful?
- Who is with you?
- What are you saying to yourself and those around you?
- What’s their normal response and how does that make you feel?
- Now ask yourself when do you feel completely alive?
- What are you doing at the time?
- Who are you with?
- What do you say to yourself and those around you (if there are any)?
- What is the normal response and how does that make you feel?
I know that deep down you already know that the latter are your people!
Those are the ones you want to talk to. The ones who will get that a growl has a million different nuances. That sometimes your passion booms without restraint and sometimes it’s a mere sigh.
You need to let go of the rest. Whether colleagues, clients, lovers or friends.
I know I know – not easy. But here’s the thing: if you love them with all your heart and you’re not feeling amazing in their space then they’re not feeling on fire around you either. Which means the most loving thing to do is in fact to walk away.
It’s time to own who you are without apology or compromise.
Tweet, roar, snooze or howl Darling.
Someone out there needs to hear the pure sound.
And they will be astounded by you.
Ready to dive in and own your truth? Then let’s connect.