We all have preconceived ideas about everything.
Most of these ideas handed down to us from others who told us that they know the answers, because it is written somewhere in a book by a very clever man, so it has to be true.
We have preconceived ideas of what it will take for us to be truly successful.
It’s been my experience that most people think this involves a level of social applause, a certain amount of money in your bank account, a certain brand of stuff. When we get invited to the right parties with the right people and everyone likes us.
We have preconceived ideas of what it will take for us to be truly happy.
I’ve been told by thousands that this normally involves another person. One who makes you complete. One who brings out the best in you. That you can trust implicitly. That always makes you laugh.
Or certain possessions.
Or specific awards for achievements.
We have preconceived ideas of what it will take for us to be truly miserable.
I hear all the time that this will occur when we lose everything – the job, the house, the car, the husband, the friends.
In other words, that we get abandoned.
I want you to start paying attention Sunshine.
Because way too often we say and claim shit based on our preconceived ideas and how we THINK it will have others feel about us.
We tell them what we THINK will put us in a good light.
Based on our preconceived ideas.
Except these old ideas handed down to us tell us that everything we need to thrive, is outside of us.
It’s always dependent on others.
In the same breath then, we take the responsibility of others’ happiness on ourselves. Thinking that we are responsible for how others feel or appear in the eyes of the world.
If our kids do well in school, we are good parents.
If our kids do drugs, we have failed as parents.
If our partners are happy and tell everyone how great married life is, we’re a good spouse.
If however our partners are having a shit time in life and we dare to be happy, we’re told that we’re unsympathetic, selfish, the reason they have a drinking problem.
If our clients get outstanding results, we’re told that we’re really good in our jobs.
If they don’t get the results, we’re told that we suck, even if said clients didn’t do any of the recommended work.
In all of these scenarios and more, we take their failure is a direct reflection of our shortcomings.
Their unhappiness is due to our insufficiency.
THIS IS A BLATANT LIE WHICH WE NEED TO STOP TELLING OURSELVES AND EVERYONE ELSE.
Here is my truth, understanding that I’m not claiming it as Universal truth, I’m simply sharing mine and it is up to you to do the introspection to get yours.
Humans are all created equal.
Regardless of your sex, age, colour, geographic location, cultural norms, etc.
We are powerful motherfuckers who have the ability to create anything we desire.
Without ticking any boxes.
Without constantly doing.
The difference in our results comes down to the choices we make and whether we make those consciously or unconsciously is irrelevant.
And I’m not talking about what we SAY we choose. I’m talking about what we SHOW we choose.
We simply need to DECIDE we’re going to have what we want, commit to the outcome, trust, take aligned action, and allow ourselves to receive with zero guilt.
We simply need to stay focused on the outcome rather than the perceived obstacles, and take full ownership for our results.
We simply need to stop hiding behind others and all the things we say they won’t let us do, and fucking do it!
The only reason we don’t have what we say we want, is because we don’t go for it.
Not full out.
We tell people we want to have it all, we want to be happy, we want to be successful, we want to wake up in the morning on fire, yet when it comes to actually showing the fuck up for our dreams, we bring out all the excuses in the world as to why we can’t.
We have children.
We have spouses who are simply not on the same page and they won’t get it.
We don’t have the money available to us.
Our friends won’t like us anymore.
Others will judge us.
It will be too hard.
We would have to make too many sacrifices and it’s not worth it.
Nobody will like us if we’re THAT successful all the time.
We would have to be seen and that’s fucking scary.
We don’t have the time – we’re already so busy.
We’ll do it next week, next month, next year, when we’ve dealt with all the current crises and things have settled down.
You either commit to your power, or you don’t.
You don’t say you believe you can have it all and then put conditions on it.
You don’t say you believe you can do anything you put your mind to and then not take the action.
Just think how refreshing it would be if people stopped lying to themselves and everyone else and just owned their shit.
If they would just say they don’t want to be successful, they just want to be mediocre.
That they don’t want to take full responsibility.
That they don’t want to think for themselves.
They just want to wake up, slug down a cup of coffee, sit in traffic, go to an unstimulating job where they get told what to do, sit in traffic again, open a beer and plonk down in front of the telly only to do it all again tomorrow.
That they don’t want to be happy because they love being miserable.
They love blaming everyone and everything outside of themselves for their state of depression because they’re too fucking lazy to do the mindset work.
Think how wonderful it would be if people owned the fact that they don’t want you to be yourself. They want you to be their puppet. To do and say what they want to see and hear. Then you could stop confusing yourself about what love is.
Imagine how powerful it would be if we stopped thinking that codependency is any form of love.
If people had to stop lying to themselves and everyone else, life would be so simple.
You can stop wasting your time thinking they’re going to change.
You can stop wasting your energy supporting them because they keep telling you next year it’s going to be different so if you can just hang in there, if you can just support them a little more, they will make it all up to you.
And if you’re one choosing to live average, you can stop wasting your energy trying to convince yourself you will ever have more than average results and you can actually enjoy what you have instead of always thinking you want more.
Because you don’t.
Either you want to create magic.
Be one of the crazy ones.
Stand apart from the rest.
Believe in yourself.
Take full responsibility.
Or you don’t.
Neither is right or wrong.
It’s simply a choice.
There is so much power in owning your choices.
There’s so much freedom.
There’s true liberation.
Instead of always thinking that you’re at the mercy of others.
So what say you Darling?
What do you choose for today?
Not what do you choose for next year?
Put your actions behind your words and stop being a hypocrite.
Even if you choose mediocrity consciously you’re going to feel a hell of a lot better than constantly thinking you don’t have a say in the matter.
Only death is inevitable.
Thriving is a choice that nobody else can make for you.
With love always,
PS: What does liberation feel like?
Like saying it as you see it, as you feel it, as you believe it, without the need for approval or validation.
It’s about dropping your dependency on other for happiness and choosing it for yourself.
It’s about not believing everything you’re told regardless of the source, and instead doing the introspection for your own truth.
All that you knew before you were told differently.
To find out more about the liberating journey I take my clients on, click here.