Successful People Know Their Big Why

The training had started.

And it was intense!

I have a series of motivational talks on my iPhone which I play when training sessions become truly challenging.

You know when I’m talking about – those sessions when your legs feel like led and you wonder how the hell you’ll ever finish this run today?

The times when you just want to sit down and cry because you’re so exhausted.  When the pavement looks as comfortable as a queen size bed, down duvet and all.

But sleeping is not an option because sleep is not going to get you to the start line and it sure as hell won’t get you to the finish line.

You can sleep once you’re dead.

One of these talks have a line which states “Successful people know their big why”.

A line etched deep inside my mind.

This is the missing key for so many born achievers who love setting the exquisite goals.  The challenging goals.  The goals that most turn away from in fear saying “I can NEVER do that”.

But you and I never say never.

We set those big scary goals and we immediately start taking massive action.

Sometimes to our detriment.

Sometimes we’re so eager to get started that we neglect the foundation of success which is understanding our big why.

If you’ve historically set those big goals and given up before the finish line I’m willing to bet that this is the missing piece for you too.

You see Darling, if you don’t take the time to go deep into that all important Why, there will come a time when the demands of the journey becomes too much of an ask and you’ll give up.

And it takes some serious soul searching.


I’m yet to meet a client who upon first encounter convinced me of their goals.  Who’s passion alone shows me that this is an absolute non-negotiable for them.

Not that it’s not important to them.

All our goals and dreams are important.

But we need to anchor it with more than just desire.  Anchoring which takes time and let’s be honest here, the number one reason why most people don’t live their dreams is because they’ve convinced themselves they don’t have time.

Modern society is all about instant gratification.  We’ve lost the patience to lay a foundation that’s going to withstand the storms, the quakes, the movement of land mass.

If you’re serious about conquering the enemy in the mirror, if you’re serious about embracing obstacles, if you’re serious about sacrificing to achieve, you better be prepared to bore down and find a reason that will outshine any pain that you will endure on your epic journey.

For there will be pain!

You will hear me say this ad nauseum.  Because it’s true.

If you want to be the epic achiever you were born to be, you need to put a t-spoon of cement in your morning coffee and Harden The Fuck Up (HTFU for future reference).

This is where you run where few dare tread, because they feel that if they can’t find a big enough why they will have to admit the fact that they’re just fucking around, keeping busy, setting ego based goals to get a noddy badge from others.

And so they should.

And so should you!

If you can’t find a big enough why to get you through whatever life will throw at you, if you’re not prepared to die for your goal, then don’t set it.

Find the real goal instead.

Dig deeper.

Go bigger.

More YOU.

Ultimately you want to set the goals that will change you at your core.  The goals that will have you grow mentally, physically, spiritually.  The goals that will shift your ass into your next level self where you operate on a different level than you are today.

You want to set the goals where you have to learn new skills, new knowledge, new sides to yourself that you didn’t even know existed.

You want to set the goals that will make your life better in some way or another.

Go back to your definition of success and ask yourself if this goal reflects your next level success?

You want to connect your goal to the improvement of life for others.  If you’re in my tribe then you and I both know that you were born to lead, to inspire, to change, to motivate, to empower others through your life.

Let me tell you that there were times when I was in so much pain running that tears were streaming down my face and I was vomiting on the pavement.  But I refused to stop.  I WOULD NOT GIVE UP BECAUSE EVERY STEP I TOOK WAS ENERGETICALLY INSPIRING A STRANGER.

I will die for those who are not thriving.

I will die for those who are comatised by average existence.

And if I will die for them I sure as hell will run for them.

If it wasn’t for them, I would have stopped.  I would have listened to the medical professionals and never even attempted to run.

I chose instead to connect with my purpose.  Connect with those I’m here to serve.

Death before DNS (did not serve).

You need to figure out who else you are impacting through your achievement.  And here’s a little heads up for you, it’s normally the quiet ones.  The ones who never applaud publicly.  They are the ones who feel a gentle flame ignite within whenever they see you.

YOU are changing their lives forever.

You also want to figure out the pain of failure.  And here you want to be ruthless.  You want to make the pain hurt like a motherfucker so that no matter how much the journey hurts, every time you look at THIS pain, you push on!

You take another step.

You take another action.

You take another breath.

Because just facing the possible pain of failure has you twisted up in foetal position rocking back and forth.

I also want to say to you today, with the big goals, the epic goals, the non-negotiable goals, it’s NEVER finished until it is finished.

The first time I attempted the Midmar Mile they pulled my ass out halfway.  I didn’t make the cut-off time.

I didn’t climb off that boat saying “Oh dear, I failed”.  Not a chance.

I climbed off and said “another 365 days bitches.  I’ll be back”.

I was.

I finished.

I got my little medal.

It’s never ever over until you win.


But for you to swallow your pride and be prepared to go back time and again taking the learning along the way, your big why better be rock solid.

Is it Darling?

Have a look at the goals you’ve set so far.

Can you find more than ten reasons why you will die for this?

Can you write down more than ten reasons how this will change you, better your life, be in alignment with your purpose, have a positive impact on others?

Is the pain of not achieving your goal greater than any pain you will encounter on the journey?

If it’s not, throw that goal in the bin and dig deeper.  Get more inspired.

You’re way too epic to screw around with mediocre goals.

Your soul already knows this.

She is waiting for you to get to the juicy ones.

She’s waiting for you to wake the fuck up and thrive.

Successful people know their big why.


PS:  This is Chapter Three in my book Life In The Thrive Lane, if you’d love to read the rest simply go here for the audio version or here for Amazon Kindle.