individuality, judgement, personal choice, empowerment, life coach, mindset

The ONLY stroke that matters to you, is the one that turns you on.

‘Different strokes for different folks’.

You’ve heard it.

But do you believe it?

Do you live it?

Do you respect it?

Or are you still looking at what everyone else does and trying to emulate their recipe?

Are you still looking at others smiling and then doing what they’re doing even though it leaves you feeling less than orgasmic?

Are you still tying yourself up in knots in a desperate attempt to look like the ‘cool’ kids?

Are you still doing shit you hate, in a way you hate, chanting affirmations, convinced that you will reach a point of mind over matter?

For me, one of the most useful approaches to life has been to stay open to different experiences.

And then,

to be judgemental AF.

I’m open to participate in the new, and then be honest with myself in terms of what I love, and what I hate without any of the drama.

Yes, I said hate.

Not dislike.

If I’m going to experience deep love, I am willing to experience the complete spectrum of the opposite which for me is hate.

This goes for everything and everyone.

Not that I’m saying some people and things are better than others.

I simply know by now that some people and things are better for ME.

Some have me rise to greater heights,

others bring me down to a level that feels like slug slime,

others leave me unmoved.

Point in case – personal trainers.

I’ve been enjoying some monstrous HIIT training hosted by Hannah Eden.

She is fucking FABULOUS!


Tough as nails.

She challenges.

She curses like a motherfucker.

She sets the bar as high as it goes at elite level,

and then she dares you to keep up.

She pushes every single one of my buttons, and I THRIVE!

Enter another trainer whom shall remain nameless.

Not because she sucks nickerballs,

but she does for me.

Her style?

She fucking moans and groans ALL THE TIME!

Telling you how much she’s hurting.

How shit it is.

How awesome you are just for showing up.

That it’s okay to do the least amount because that still makes you a winner in her books.

I get it (eyes rolling) – for some people, this is like sweet honey and they eat that shit up.

Personally, I couldn’t be less motivated, less inspired, less interested.

Which is perfect.

I still open myself to experience this every now and again.

There is endless beauty and power in contradiction.

Every so often I do the same with my personal coaches.

I will go experience one of the ‘sympathetic’ coaches,

just to see if there’s been a shift in me that would benefit from a softer approach.

Apparently, not yet.

Probably, never will.

I do and always will have a warrior spirit –

I live for the fight.

I lick up my sweat.

I drink my tears.

I absorb my screams.

It is what I love.

For most, this approach makes no sense.

They think it must make me hard, inconsiderate, even unloving.

Yet the complete opposite is true.

I choose this energy BECAUSE I love more than most will ever be willing to experience.

I choose this energy BECAUSE I am a liquid gold caramel inside and I choose to stay soft in my heart.

I choose this energy BECAUSE I see the magnificence in others and always want to be considerate of their soul.

I also know that not everyone thrives in this approach.

In fact, most people fold and crumble.

They often look at those with warrior hearts and think it looks like a fun way to live.

That it must be nice to go through life with big cahoonas.

Until they start walking the path.

All of a sudden it feels uncomfortable and scary.

It’s hard and it hurts a lot of the time, so their egos go into overdrive screaming that this is fucking crazy!

Run away!!

This is perfectly normal.

This is where you get to go inside and choose:

is this the right path, the right approach, the right energy for you,

or not?

There’s no shame in difference!

I simply think it’s a shame that people are too pride driven or codependent to admit when something is not for them.

I’ve often walked beside the ‘wrong’ people for me, with some interesting (aka painful) consequences.

It leads to suffering with none of the desired results.

If you’re not achieving the level of success you say you want, chances are that you’re walking on the wrong path for YOU, with the wrong people for YOU.

Drop the shame,

fuck the blame,

get honest with yourself and start judging.

EVERYTHING in your life.

Do you love it or do you hate it?

Don’t settle for anything in-between.

This judgement of what YOU love and hate are the clues from your soul to guide you towards your BEST VERSION SELF!

It’s when we do more of what we love that we soar.

It’s when we stop doing things we hate that we grow.

This is also why I don’t believe in scarcity or competition.

Instead I believe that those who truly desire for others to rise to their best, will eagerly refer the moment they see that it’s NOT the best fit for the client.

Trusting that by saying NO to the wrong clients for them, they are saying YES to the right clients for them.

There is an ancient rule – ‘First, do no harm’.

This goes both ways.

Don’t harm others.

Don’t harm yourself.

It requires a belief in abundance, and love, and good.

It requires faith in yourself, in others, in the universe.

But you can’t go wrong with this approach Darling.

Maybe you’re simply at a stage where you’ve forgotten what you love and what you hate.

Maybe you’ve been so determined not to judge, that you’ve lost the honesty that comes from judgement.

I get why!

Some people have taken ‘judgement’ and turned it into public hating on and humiliation of those they are not in alignment with.


This is not the judgement I’m referring to.

Yes, I judge others.

For myself.

For my growth.

For my certainty.

Some are my people and others aren’t.

Not to publicly make others wrong.

NOBODY is ever wrong.

They’re simply wrong for YOU.

There’s a huge difference.

Take the time this weekend to remember which strokes light you up, and which rub you up the wrong way.

Then invite in more of what you love,

and tolerate less of what you hate.


Only death is inevitable,

Thriving is always the choice of the brave.

With deep love and respect,


PS:  Coaching is powerful and impactful. It’s about making the smallest changes in trajectory that leads to an entirely different outcome.

A high-performer myself, I know there’s always a way.  I’ve invested and continue to invest in myself through study, implementation, working with exceptional coaches and mentors, physically challenging events and above all dedication to my craft, to have the resilience, strategies and innovation to find the puzzle pieces that has me create the outcomes I truly desire.

But the deepest truth is that I lived most of my life feeling like an imposter. I could appear confident on the outside whilst dying on the inside.  Regardless of how much I achieved in life, I envied those around me who always seemed to create more or bigger or better than I ever could.

Turns out that this feeling of inadequacy and relentless drive for more eventually became my gift in working with high performing men and women. You see, I am exceptionally gifted at seeing the true power in people—even when they can’t see it for themselves.

My clients do things that few ever dream of. They are dynamic, passionate and successful, yet whatever is coming next still feels like a really big leap of faith.

I help courageous people who already achieve ‘impossible’ goals to achieve what still looks ‘impossible’ to them.

If this sounds like you, let’s talk and explore if working together is a good partnership.