The ONLY thing you need to do to be happy

When I set the intention on the 1st of January to create FREEDOM in my life in 2018, I had no clue what that was going to entail.

I thought it meant a whole lot of things that I’d have to achieve in order for me to be free.

I was wrong.


The greatest freedom of all

Came from waking the fuck up.

It came from removing the eye-claps that kept me so blind to what was going on around me.

It came from clarity of thought and having the courage to start questioning on a deeper level.

It came from understanding that we are all perfect, whole and complete.

That our natural state is that of love and joy.

However, humanity at large seems to have forgotten this.

We have crafted some powerful stories about what perfect, whole and complete looks like.

And quite frankly,

unless you’re some computer generated photoshopped mirage, you don’t stand a chance of ever attaining socially-defined state.

We’re told that there are more favourable images and personalities and we should all strive to be THAT.

As if a giraffe should hang her head in shame, crawling on all fours to make herself smaller, imitating a lion.

Who ever said that a lion is more worthy or better than a giraffe?

Yet this is what we’re told.

Furthermore we’ve been encouraged to focus on how we DON’T match this illusion of perfection.

How fucked up we are.

How flawed we are.

How sinful we are.

How our bodies are not perfectly contoured to the current fashion so therefore we should be ashamed of ourselves.

We’re continuously bombarded with articles and therapies that will help us beat depression and anxiety and ADHD and narcissism and heaven knows what else.

And the more we are exposed to these ‘helpful tips’, the more neurotic we become, looking for all those symptoms as apparently that will make us ‘normal’.

We both know by now that you will always find evidence for what you seek.

‘Normal’ appears to be pretty fucking miserable.

I’ve been witnessing with some interest the long and winding road that we’re told is necessary in order for us to be happy.

All the boxes that we need to tick in order for us to enjoy a state of bliss.

We have to go back to our childhoods and find the root cause of our pain so that we can heal it and be happy.

We have to be liked by the masses, popular amongst the in-crowd, in order for us to find connection and be happy.

We have to have a successful career in order for us to be driven and be happy.

We have to meet the perfect partner and live in harmonious bliss always fulfilling each others needs to be happy.

We have to amass riches in order for us to feel safe and secure in our old age and be happy.

Blah blah blah.

Is it any wonder that so few people are happy?

Shit, if I had to sit and tick all their fabricated boxes I would be miserable too.

I would also be drinking bottles of wine every night, feeling like a complete and utter failure.

I would also be stuffing my face with fat-dripping empty calories to feel a measure of fullness inside.

I would also be hiding in La-La Land on the playstation, desperately trying to escape the ‘horrors’ of my life.

I would also be seeing a therapist for years on end because lying on a couch kinda justifies my feelings of unhappiness.

And I can joke about these things now because YES, I’ve done them all.

That and some seriously wacky woo-woo shit that promised to give me “THE ULTIMATE TRUTH“.

What I found is that NOTHING

and I do mean NOTHING

outside of you

can ever make you happy.

And NOTHING that you can ever be or do can make someone else happy.

The ONLY thing you have to do to be happy

is fucking DECIDE.

That’s it.

You simply have to decide that you’re happy.

You don’t have to go smoke a cocktail of Thor knows what.

You don’t have to fall in love with your soulmate forever.

You don’t have to heal every painful incident from your past.

You simply have to choose happiness.

It’s been my experience that happiness truly is my natural state.

Every time I find myself moving away from this, it’s because of some bullshit story I’m telling myself of how life isn’t ‘perfect’.

Of how someone doesn’t like me or love me and without their approval there something lacking in me, in my life, somehow I’m not good enough to be liked.

Quite frankly Darling, your experience of me has fuckall to do with me.

It’s YOUR experience of me.

The only thing that truly matters is MY experience of me.


So why are more people not choosing this?

Well because for one thing it just seems too fucking simple.

For another they would have to take full responsibility for their own happiness – and it’s way easier to pin that shit on someone else.  Especially if we choose NOT to be happy.  Who wants to own that??  So I blame my kids, my partner, my business associates, the government, my parents, my dead grandparents, my forefathers.


Another reason I see people not choosing happiness is because they’ve forgotten what makes them happy in the first place.  They’ve turned off their desire tap such a long time ago that they have completely disconnected with their joy.  So they turn to the beautifully posed pictures of skinny models and luxury yachts, and since said model is laughing they think THAT is what they need to make them happy.

Maybe it is.

In my experience, for me, it’s not.

It’s the simplest things.

Looking at the sunrise in awe lights me up.

Riding my bike laughing my ass off makes me happy.

Turning on my favourite tunes and dancing in the buff makes me giggle.

Hell, even singing with my extremely out-of-tune voice makes me happy.

Walking the dogs.

A stimulating conversation.

Saying I love you, even to random strangers, and meaning it.

I could be sitting on the couch and just consciously choose happy and boom, I feel it.

So what are you choosing today my gorgeous unicorn?

You don’t even have to choose for forever.

Just for right now, in this moment.


Only death is inevitable.

Thriving is always a choice.

Love you,


PS:  Is this message resonating with you?

Before you go into pulling it apart so that you can find fault with it?

Before you start criticising it because you simply don’t want to own your truth for yourself?

I know that is what happens.

Every time that we are presented with an alternative truth to the one we’ve held on to for such a long time, we make it wrong.

But I’ve also learned to trust those intuitive nudges I feel before my ego takes control.

And it’s that part that I’m speaking to right now.

If you’re ready to make different choices, to question the paradigms in your mind, to break the self-defeating patterns that keep you stuck in anything less than happy, then I invite you to connect with me today and to find out what a journey of private coaching would look like.

You’re happiness is worth it.