I had the privilege of attending an inaugural event last night – a coming together of some dynamic ladies in the area.
In the spirit of learning and connecting.
The first thing that really caught my eye was how each and every woman took care in her appearance.
It was amazing to see!
Yes, dressing up is back in fashion ladies and it’s about bloody time.
Out with ‘comfort’ and in with ‘style’.
Even though the weather had turned frosty, dresses and heels were complimented with divine coats and a particular fire-engine red jacket kept drawing my eye.
There was an air of excitement right from the start,
As I started chatting to more and more women, the same theme came out –
‘OMG I was so nervous to come here tonight.
I haven’t been out much lately.
I’ve really lost my confidence.’
These were echos of my exact same sentiments.
I too had become a hermit.
Confession – this ballsy, take no prisoners old gal has lost some of her ‘in-the-flesh’ confidence!
It’s really easy when you live in a teeny tiny gorgeous little town that smacks of space for activities in isolation.
Okay, so the ‘Park Run’ has grown tremendously over the past year.
But I still prefer to train solo.
Here I can ride my bikes, run, paddle, swim, you name it, I can do it safely on my own.
Then there’s the fact that 99% of my business is done online.
Let’s face it, without modern technology the two of us probably wouldn’t have this connection right now.
I’m extremely grateful and appreciative of the fact that I can now reach thousands more and hopefully make a small difference in the way you think and live.
But it also made me lazy to meet people in person – using travelling time as my go-to excuse.
Lastly, I REALLY don’t like the cold.
Which means during the winter months (which feels like 10 out of the 12 here) I stay huddled up in my home.
Did I just give you a whole bunch of excuses?
Fact of the matter is, the more time we spend online, the less time we are physically engaged with other people.
And socialising is a muscle like everything else.
You don’t use it, and atrophy starts setting in.
Without connection to other live (and lively) human beings, we become bored and lonely.
A complaint I often hear from people online.
Except, are we not the creators of our isolation and is it not just another illusion?
Think about it.
The more lonely you feel, the more groups you join online in a desperate search of your ‘tribe’, the more you cut yourself off from the human beings around you, the more you feel lonely.
Online connections, although absolutely amazing and I have made some life-long friends whom I treasure, simply doesn’t have the same depth as meeting for coffee, embracing the other person with a warm hug, and looking into their eyes with every word.
In true transparency, I don’t often get lonely.
I love my own company.
I have so many passions with which to fill my days.
But there are times when I think to myself “There must be some really interesting people I’m missing out on”.
Well, I know there is.
So why am I not getting my sexy ass out there more?
Without all my bullshit excuses?
Fear of being seen.
I’m an introvert to start with so being seen, really seen, is scary AF.
Regardless of how many layers I have on, I feel raw and naked out in public.
It could have something to do with the fact that as an empath, I feel behind other peoples walls and always think they can do exactly the same.
Fear of being judged.
It took me 45 years to love myself, how can they possibly like me in 45 minutes??
Pile onto this some delicious tangy experiences where I’ve been publicly put on trial and found to be ‘bad’ and you can possibly understand my hesitation.
Fear of being rejected.
Yip, I get rejected A LOT.
I’m not exactly everyones’ shot of espresso.
In Joburg it took me years but I had finally found the places where I belonged.
Places which drew like-minded people with the same drive, the same ambitions as I have.
People who loved to challenge and be challenged.
When you move to a new country, it takes time to find your places and spaces.
I’m still experimenting to find mine in Canterbury.
However, hiding at home is not going to make that happen any faster now is it?
Why am I writing this today?
I’m not sure.
I think because I’ve come to the realisation that society is a little bit in crises at the moment.
Technology with all it’s amazing benefits and blessings, can also become our greatest enemy if we don’t start paying attention.
I think it’s very easy for us to become slaves to tech – always hooked in, plugged in, available to ‘others’ 24/7.
It’s time that we remember that technology is here to serve us.
To make our lives easier, not more distracted, not more busy.
In order for us to stay human, we have to be human and that includes human in-the-flesh (OMG) connection.
Accountability rocks, so here goes…
I’m making myself accountable to you.
I commit to getting my sweet ass out to a function at least once a month (Hey, don’t push it! One is a step in the right direction!) and I will report back to you.
I am also hosting my first in-person Vision Creation workshop this morning and commit to hosting more live events (sweat pouring now).
What about you Sunshine?
What are you committing to do to practice your socialisation muscle?
If you’re already out and about for business all the time, I dare you to do more personal connections with people you don’t discuss business with.
Or maybe it’s about connecting more with the people in your very home.
Whatever it is, connection is crucial for your experience of life.
So let’s make it a good one.
Only death is inevitable.
Thriving truly is a choice of the brave.
You know I love you,
PS: My coaching style is outcome focused.
It’s a journey whereby you get to set the goals that’s truly important to you.
It’s a process whereby you get to eliminate distraction, question your beliefs and values, take massive aligned action that feels uncomfortable until it doesn’t.
I work with those who believe in the possibility within impossible.
I work with those who take full responsibility for themselves and their results.
I work with those who choose to thrive.
If this is you, let’s connect and see if this would be a fun partnership.