Are you hiding your gifts in a blanket of shame?

I hope you don’t think that you get to work on something once and then it’s dealt with forever!
I hope you don’t think that personal development means you work with a coach for a quarter or a year and then you’ve got your shit all sorted.
In fact, I hope you don’t think anyone alive has all their shit sorted – because they don’t!
We get that particular noddy badge the moment we croak,
and not a second sooner.

Which is why I highly recommend you take the pressure off yourself
and instead of berating yourself every step of the way
or wanting to get ‘there’ faster
start enjoying the continuous and never-ending journey of self-discovery through introspection and curiosity.

How else will you ever allow the juicy bits at the bottom to surface?
For just as your desires,
they are received easily through an open invitation of love
not a furiously screaming banshee threatening them!

I was diving next level in my journal this morning
as to why I’ve not allowed myself to fully love myself in the past
when I came to the realisation that a BIG one for me was
“You think you’re so much better than me,
you think you’re so much smarter than me,
you think you’re so much stronger than me…”

And on and on…
I’m sure you get the idea.
Just as I’m sure that if you’re an Alpha Female
you’ve heard some of the same shit before.

Of course,
NEVER said by complete strangers
but those who really hit close to home.

In response
I took all of my BEST parts
and hid them in a blanket of shame
simultaneously accentuating my WORST parts,
dumbing myself down,
putting on weight so I could be less attractive,
hiding myself in actual fact.

I fully immersed myself in the circles of those who operate on this level of average,
barely surviving by creating teeny tiny pockets of escape for myself
first through my dance
then on my bike.

How can you possibly deeply love yourself
when you reject your GIFTS?
How can you possibly deeply love yourself
when you think that you,
in your essence of you being you,
are responsible for the pain you witness in others.

That your mere presence
makes them feel bad about themselves?

Why the fuck would you even want to show up anywhere?
When you’re driven by heart and you operate from love and yet you’re told that you are the cause of their pain.

I don’t think people realise the depth of sorrow this brings to the Alpha Female.
The amount of times I’ve sobbed on the floor
because somebody blamed me for them not feeling good enough
blamed me for the mental disease of others
blamed me for the depression and eating disorders and diminished self-confidence,
I could have filled a river.

is that I was being accused as the cause of all this suffering
playing at less than 10% of my true capability!

What’s even more fascinating
is that these people simultaneously blamed me
and refused to let me go!
It’s as if those who choose misery
become addicted to the pain of not feeling good enough.

They seek out those who give them an excuse to feel bad
and then latch on to them
like a moth refusing to leave the flame.

I see this on social media all the time.
People continuously criticising your work.
People continuously arguing against you.
People continuously in disagreement.
And I think to myself,
if you don’t like what they’re saying,
if you don’t resonate,
stop following them!!

If it doesn’t feel good,
don’t read it!
It’s as simple as that.

it’s time for you to release the social conditioning
which states that you are responsible for how others feel about themselves.
That everyone should bow down to the person playing at the lowest level.
For I’ve also come to the realisation
that the more I love myself
the more I elevate my standards for the company I hold
the more I attract those who are truly committed to personal growth and success
the more gifts and strengths are celebrated, appreciated and honoured, in all, by all.

We are NOT here to rescue anyone else from themselves.
We are NOT here to make others feel better for their choice of average by dimming ourselves.
We are NOT here to increase the hold of mediocrity on the masses.
We are NOT here to be the crack for those addicted to suffering.

It’s time to welcome home your BEST self
through loving introspection
releasing of shame
reclaiming all of you
and from this space


For death might be inevitable,
thrive of the pack is the choice of the Alpha.

Live with honour,


Anel is the Instigator of a Thrive Evolution for Alpha Females.

Her work is aimed at empowering women to trust themselves and their intuition, reclaiming their authentic voices, and creating a life they’re madly in love with.

Through enhanced self-love, self-worth and self-confidence they know the satisfaction and pride of a woman who lives unapologetically aligned with her purpose.

Those ready to step up and receive support on their journey are invited to connect through a potential partnership consultation.

✔︎ For more pockets for introspection follow her here ☛ Anel Bester

✔︎ To learn more about her thrive evolution visit here ☛

✔︎ For video content subscribe here ☛  Home of the Alpha Females