Is your beast asleep?

Ready to get your buttons pushed Darling?

I mean really pushed.

I mean having you walk away from this calling me a bitch.

If not, then don’t even read any further.

Cause I tell you what – I’m going to write this just for me (yes, I’ve had my ass handed to me and I’m going all out on myself) and you can choose whether the shoe fits or not.

This is going to be raw and real.  I’m not holding back and I’m not censoring myself because I know I can handle a good ass whipping.

I’ve got my glass of wine – how about you?

Deep breath.

Here we go.

Dear Anel,

Holy shit girl.  When the fuck did you become such a whimp?  When did you walk away from the mirror with your shoulders slumped over because you were just fucking exhausted of the fight.

Don’t you dare turn away from me.

You know what I’m talking about.

You’ve become soft.

You’ve started saying the right shit at the right time so people would stop spitting in your face.  You’ve stopped challenging the living hell out of your body because your mind has become soft.  You’ve stopped challenging people because you got tired of being called a selfish, inconsiderate little bitch who shame others for not showing up as their absolute best because we live in an average (choke) society where nobody is expected to be magnificent, powerful.

And you knew, you knew, that the only way you could live with the disgusting bile of average in your throat was to become average yourself.

So that’s what you did.

You get up and sit like a princess in your bed waiting for your cup of coffee to journal in a pretty pink book instead of hitting the pavement, freezing your ass off whilst pushing your legs to the point of exhaustion.  You drive in your air-conditioned car to yoga class and only do the poses that you’re confident in – hardly breaking a sweat.

Are you kidding me – you still can’t do crow pose after five months.

What.  The.  Fuck.

What happened to the bad-ass who overcame EVERYTHING in four months to become an IronMan when everyone else said it’s just not possible.  That your body is just too broken.  That you’re just too old to learn these skills.  That you have to be a responsible mother.  That you have a business to run.  That you don’t have the time.  Blah fucking blah.

You proved them wrong.

You got up at 3 am and hit the pavements in the dark on your bike.  Music pumping loud so you couldn’t hear the taxis trying to push you off the road.  You used your fear of being hijacked to NEVER slow down.  To not stop at the robots but to take your life in your own hands just to take it to the next level.

You cried.

You threw up.

You bled.  A lot.

You dealt with looking like a complete ass.

You collapsed in exhaustion.

And then you got up and you put in a full day in your business.

Never dropping a ball.

Why not?

Because you were breaking the glass ceiling of average.

You left behind every person who did not support you.  Adios Monchachos.

You went to bed at 7 pm spent but satisfied.

You stopped wasting time channel hopping and jammed your mind with inspiration every possible minute.

You never needed a group to motivate you.  Your passion was your motivation.

You never needed an alarm clock to wake you.  Your hunger for success woke you.

You never gave a shit what others called you because you knew you weren’t doing this for brownie points.  You did it because you knew in your heart that doing anything less, settling for anything less, was sacrilege.  And your soul hungers for an extraordinary life.

What will it take to reawaken the beast?

Who will you have to loose?  Other than yourself.  Because let me tell you right now, right here, that you have abandoned yourself.  You have given up on your truth.  You’re not showing the fuck up.  You’re not being true to your magnificence.

How much longer Anel?

How much longer will you settle?

How much longer will you fit in?

You’ve been to the door of death before.  You chose to live.  Yet here you are.  One foot in.  One foot out.

You’re sliding Anel.

You’re sliding.





It’s not just your life that is at stake.  You’re here to make an  impact.  You’re here to change lives.  Your mission, your purpose, matters.

What are you going to do Anel?

Time to choose.

What say you?


Dear Higher Self,


You’re right.

I got tired.  I got tired of the pain: physically, mentally, emotionally.  I got tired of saying goodbye to my ‘friends’ and going it alone.

I got tired of doing the work.

The real work.

The hardcore mind-set work.

The discipline.

The dedication.

The determination of hunting down the challenges because NOTHING would stop me.

But you know what – the exhaustion of the doing the work pales in comparison to the torture of living average.  Of only doing one thing at a time.  Of moving slow on my goals.  Of doing it the way everyone else does it.

Because this is NOT what I was born for.

I was born to challenge the system, the beliefs that keep humanity calm, the professionals telling us what is and what is not possible.

Nobody can tell me what I can or can’t do.

They don’t know me.

They don’t know what I’m able to endure.

They don’t know who I am.

They don’t see the warrior in me standing up to the storm and embracing the force of the wind as my next level power.

They don’t see the love for all in my heart that says I will never ask of others what I’m not prepared to ask of myself.

They don’t know that it’s this love that I’m prepared to die for.  For my life was never for me but for those I am here to serve.

And you’re right.  My people do not respond to the soft purring of a kitten.  My people stand in their own storm and the only sound that penetrates the chaos is the roar of the beast.

I’m sorry.

I’m sorry that I sat down.  I’m sorry that I gave up – for a while anyway.  I’m sorry that I chose the easy way – for a while anyway.  I’m sorry that I did not fully show up for those that I’m here to serve.  I’m sorry that I went into hiding – from you, from them, from myself.

Enough and no more.

I will rise.

I will challenge my mind and my body every single day.

My failure will be part of my victory.

My pain will be part of my power.

My story will give others permission to declare “fuck mediocrity” and break through their own glass ceilings.  They will raise their standards for themselves because they can and nobody will be able to stop them.

You want to hear me roar?




PS:  A heartfelt thanks to Clinton and my coach for holding up the mirror so I could see how far down the rabbit hole my ass has slid.  No more guys.

PPS:  I know the hardest part is getting started.  The hardest part is having the courage to get raw and real with yourself and up your game 100X.  Because nobody expects it from you.  Hell most people look at you and wonder how the hell you do what you do.  But you know that you’re playing at 10% of your capacity.  And here’s the deal Darling, I don’t expect you to jump from 10% to 100%, but even an extra 5% will make one hell of a difference to your life.  If you’re at the point of enough and no more and you KNOW that you’re not going to make the jump on your own, then be the achiever that says yes to getting support.  I’m not for everyone.  Hell I scare myself sometimes (refer to my philosophy that fear is a compass to growth).  But get someone.  And if I’m speaking your language then you have options to work with me.  Hit me a mail at and let’s see the best way to get you from where you are to where you want to be.  Because SPECTACULAR looks so much better on you.