It’s not just what you say but how you say it.

I’ve been called insensitive.

A lot.

People seem to confuse sympathy with caring.  I don’t.

If you want sympathy go to the choir who thinks you’re a loser.

I think you’re fucking awesome and I will treat you as such.

So I don’t coo and ooh more when others are continuously telling me the drama which is their life.

I don’t feel sorry for people and their lot.

Their fate.

Over which they think they have no control.

Which, quite frankly, is all bullshit.

There are no victims in life.


I believe that everything happens for us.

Everything is learning opportunities to guide us back to our thrive.

But if you sit and recite the same old shit day in and day out, stretching out the heartbreaking notes with the sound of a violin, as if you have no part in how your life is playing out, you’re fucking delusional.

Plus you’re stuck.

“But Anel, it’s true!  Just look at my bank balance.  At my marriage.  At my weight.”

Yip – there’s always evidence for you to find to solidify your story.

What I’m discovering is that it’s not WHAT you tell people, it’s the TONE in which you tell it that makes the difference between having a very long pity-party and getting real with current reality, finding the learning, and shifting ass!

“I’m overweight” can be stated with a whine whilst shoving a Twinkie in your face, or “I’m overweight” can be stated matter of factly.  You can be honest and look in the mirror and ask yourself “Why am I eating too much, training too little?  What am I trying to hide from?  Where is my life out of balance?  Why am I afraid of being sexy as fuck – which would mean powerful as a Mofo.  What within me needs healing so that I can completely love and respect myself because when I love myself I stop poisoning my body?”

“I’m broke again” can be stated with frustration and anger and resentment at the unfairness of it all driving you to go buy another bottle of wine to drown your sorrows thereby ensuring that next month you can make the same statement again, or “I’m broke again” can be stated with curiosity leading you to finally sit down and start tracking your money.  To investigate your relationship with money and to see where it’s out of love.  To understand that money is pure energy so if you’re not happy with the amount of energy in your life you need to start by raising your own vibration to attract more.  You can start understanding that there’s a glitch in your belief systems which has you showing up around money in a manner that has money running the opposite way.  You can start investigating why it doesn’t feel safe for you to have more money, what are the pay-offs of being broke, what are you afraid of will happen if you have more money.

“I’m in a miserable marriage” can be stated with defeatism in an attempt to get the attention you crave from others as clearly you’re not getting it from your spouse, or “I’m in a miserable marriage” can be stated as an awakening leading you to question what you truly desire in your marriage.  How you are currently showing up in your marriage that is contributing to the situation (yes Darling, it takes two to tango).  What are you tolerating and why you’re open for this?  Why are you staying in the marriage if you’re really that unhappy?  What are the payoffs.  What are the fears.

In other words Sunshine, everything in your life can be stated as a bitching session which will only perpetuate the situation, or as a learning opportunity from which you can start making empowered choices.

It’s my experience that most people are simply too stuck to go from the soap opera version of their lives to rewriting the story as an adventure.  It’s like trying to jump from depression to joy – the leap is so big that they stay frozen instead.

I invite you to become aware of your tone of voice and to change from melodrama to factual to see the impact it has on your thought process, your actions, and your life.

I invite you to stop being so fucking judgemental about yourself as it always keeps you from finding the learning.  If you’re going to look at your body and go into self-hatred and judgement about how could you do this to yourself you’re just shifting your focus from one destructive behaviour to another.

We don’t have time for that moronic shit anymore.

Not if you’re in my space.

If you’re in my energetic sphere you know that you’re here to bring change and that change has to start with you.


I’m getting old and grey so shift ass.

Only death is inevitable.  Thriving is a choice.

With love always,


PS:  If you’re a woman with purpose tired of all the moaning and bitching so rife in many circles, I invite you to join Wild Woman Rebels where we celebrate your strength, your beauty and your wild side.  For that is what I see in you.



What will it really take for you to stop mucking around?









I know this to be true beyond a shadow of a doubt.

I know this as I know there’s grey hair creeping out from my hairline.

I know this as I know that as long as I take another breath I’m still alive in this body.

I know this because I have worked with hundreds of people over the past decade and each of them has shown me that no matter how deflated they feel one moment, when they tap into their purpose they become rock stars!

I also know that somewhere between the time you were born and where you sit today you’ve lost some faith in yourself and what you’re truly capable of creating.

You started doubting your perfection and started seeing the bullshit that other people offloaded onto you as they struggle to make sense of their lives.

You started following the rules, the steps, the structures and in the process you’ve lost some of your ingenuity, some of your magic, some of your essence.

And even though you’ve achieved some level of success in your life, you know that it’s nowhere near what you’re capable of.

You know that there’s so much more to you than meets the eye.  But it doesn’t fit into the paradigm given to you by our societal structure of what you should be aiming for, how you should be conducting yourself to be worthy of respect, how you should feel with what you’ve achieved when quite frankly most of societal success leaves you feeling rather empty, depleted, lacking substance.

I see you struggle with what you truly desire and what you think will make you look good in they eyes of others.

I see you year after year talking about the dream and instead of just throwing caution to the wind and going full throttle you follow the long and exhausting path laid out by others.  Others who are not you.  Others who needed to go that way but in all honesty it’s simply keeping you small, frustrated, distracted, stuck.

It’s time for you to say screw the rules, the limitations that all the narrow minded people have pinned on you.

It’s time for you to stop letting others define what is realistic for you.

In my opinion they can take their realistic, roll it up with some donkey dung and smoke it!

Your dreams are given to you for a reason.

It’s the whispers of your soul showing you why you came here in the first place.  What you wanted to experience.  What you wanted to do.  The change you wanted to bring.

Your dreams guide you back again and again showing you how it all unfolds and how every experience that you’ve had along the way has brought you back to your purpose.

But you still have to do the fucking work.

Destiny does not mean that you get to sit on your sweet ass and do nothing, expecting all to unfold.

Nope – you would hate that anyway because you would be bored to tears.

You wanted to take action.  You wanted to bump your head and rub the sore spot.  You wanted to fail so you could take a moment to learn, course adjust, do again.  You wanted to experience the contrasts to really decide which you prefer and then go for it.

Full out.

No more mucking around.

But you’re never going to do that whilst wanting to please others.  You’re never going to do it as long as you sit and top about the pros and cons.  You’re never going to do it as long as you surround yourself with the naysayers.  You’re never going to do it as long as you allow yourself to be kept busy by others’ agendas.  You’re never going to do it whilst tippy-toeing around other people’s feelings.

For you to truly stop mucking around and go full out for your dreams you have to put yourself first.

You have to become obsessed and talk about your dreams, eat around your dreams, sleep on your dreams.  At some stage you even start climaxing for your dreams!

You have to become unavailable to your bullshit stories and understand that that’s all they are.  Stories.  You get to choose which of your stories are going to drive your actions.

You have to stop tolerating incompetence from those who impact your life, your dream.  They are not your responsibility to rescue.  It’s time that people start being accountable and live with the consequences of their chosen actions.

You have to burn the goddamned boats and commit!  Full out.  Stop having one foot on the other side of the line.

Why are more people not choosing to live their dreams?

Because it’s scary.  Shit, most people don’t even want to take the time to figure out what the real dream is.  Because they know they would have to acknowledge how small they’re playing.  They would have to acknowledge that they’ve lost the balls to be themselves and instead continue to copy others in a desperate effort to be ‘recognised’ by the faceless masses.

YOU are not most people.

Stop playing by the rules.

Stop doing things in the ‘right’ order and in the ‘right’ way with the ‘right’ systems and the ‘right’ processes.

It’s fucking suffocating you!

Own your wild rebellious nature and RISE!

Stop waiting for next year when you have no idea what your expiration date is.


Right now!

Right this second.

Close your eyes and ask to be shown the dream – the big dream – the ultimate dream.  And when you feel that absolute joy bursting through your arteries you will know.

You will know.

Then choose.


Or thrive.

With love always,


PS:  I’m calling the wild women.  The rebels.  The born leaders.  The healers.  The change makers.  Those who are done mucking around and are ready to do the work.  The deep inner work where they stop hiding from their true glorious power and unfurl it into life.  Are you ready to step up?  Are you ready to set the “impossible” goals and smash them out?  Are you ready to become the change catalyst I know you were born to be?  If you’re ready to take the journey from which there will be no return then let’s connect.  Either drop me a mail at or book your coaching consult today and let’s see if we’re a good fit.



Exhale and let that shit go…

Who ever taught us to be so hard on ourselves?

To be so critical of ourselves?

To never feel good enough?

To compare ourselves to unrealistic social images of what is considered beautiful?

Who the fuck cares.

That’s who.

The fact is that we can continue to blame our parents, our spouses, our boyfriends when we were ten years old, the media


we can choose to take back our power and start thinking for ourselves.

And I have a feeling that when you decide to think for yourself you will agree with me that this insanity of self-judgement and not feeling good enough is complete and utter bullshit.

Oh don’t think that I’m immune to it.

Far from it.

I’m a work in progress.

I’m at an interesting juncture of my personal journey where I’ve had the awareness that all my criticism of self was in fact just screwing me over.  Keeping me in the shadows.  Feeling judged even when nobody was judging.

I look back at photos of myself a few years ago and think “Shit I was well built”.  Sadly at the time all I could see was a fat tummy, cellulite ridden thighs and no boobs.  I thought I looked like an overweight walrus.  I never had the true enjoyment of my IronMan body.

I look at the photo on my bedroom wall and I see a beautiful woman, strong in her vulnerability.  At the time all I felt was shame and most days I would pull my hair back in a ponytail, no make-up, baggy tracksuits, trying as much as possible to be invisible.  To not draw attention.  To not be seen for who I am.

There was a lot going on in my life a few years ago.  A lot of growth.  A lot of pain.  A lot of fire to forge the warrior woman I am today.

Which brought me to this point where I decided that in order for me to be who I came here to be, I had to start focusing on my strengths, my talents rather than always finding fault.  For you will always find evidence for that which you seek.

When all you are seeking is weakness, you will find it in spades and become weak.

When you start looking for talent, OMG your entire world changes.

I still catch myself every time I see myself in the mirror as I get ready to climb into the shower.  My first thought is almost always “Aaaaargh my tummy is too round and has extra skin, my thighs are too thick, my ass is sagging”.  Then I catch myself and rephrase “My tummy protected two gorgeous babies who have been a source of joy for seventeen years already.  Those hips and thighs have some powerful muscles which keeps me getting back up and moving forward.  That ass – okay well…”

It’s a process.

What I’m finding is the more I love my body, the more she loves me.  I’ve discovered that I have less desire to put greasy or sugary shit into her.  Instead I nourish her with healthy food and clear water.  She’s responding by letting go of the extra weight I’ve been carrying around the last couple of years.  I’m not however doing it to lose weight, I’m doing it from a place of self-love.

I’ve also discovered that there are different types of warriors.

There are the berserkers which is probably the most accurate description of myself for the past few decades.  A scared, hurt, raging animal charging forward relentlessly.  Not without gaining my fair share of scars mind you.  I have plenty of those and I carry them with pride.

Looking back most of my pain was self-inflicted.  I would take the hurtful words that others slung my way, multiply that a thousand fold and then take it as truth about myself.  The pain was quite frankly excruciating.  I took all that emotional pain and started hurting myself physically through drinking, smoking, overeating, overtraining.  You name it, I did it.

I’m not judging myself.  I respect the journey.  Not sure at times why I picked THIS journey, but hey…

Now I know that there is in fact a different art to being a warrior. It is the understanding that strength has a Yin and a Yang.

The Yang symbolises the addition of driving forces and the Yin is the subtraction of restrictive forces.

It is about building strength and flexibility.  It is about acknowledging my talents and recognising my weaknesses so I can bring in external support without thinking it makes me weak.

This accounts for all areas of our lives – physical, relationships, professional.

It is about tapping into your big why and always taking inspired action (drive) and then it is about identifying obstacles and removing those (subtract) so that we can achieve optimal results.

I find that one of those restrictive forces is self-hate.  I know hate is a strong word but quite frankly if you could have heard the way I spoke about myself a few years ago you would agree with me.  And why do we sugar coat this shit?

“Oh I don’t hate myself” you say, “I just can’t stand my fat tummy”.

Uhhhhm, hellooooo?

Look Hun I get it.  Fuck knows that the culture of mediocrity and conformity is trying it’s best to break the wildness within us.  To keep us small and submissive in the shadows.  For when we don’t love ourselves and feel confident about who we are, we don’t speak up.

But fuck them.

It’s time to start healing your relationship with yourself.

To start falling in love with yourself.

To become the warrior who honours both the Yin and the Yang.

To see yourself with new eyes so that you can become the powerhouse you came here to be.

It’s time to let that shit go.

For real.

Don’t listen to the voices saying that you’re full of yourself when you start loving who you are and you speak out with pride.

Don’t listen to the nay-sayers who see your new approach to life and tell you that you’re becoming weak.

For a rigid branch breaks in the storm that the flexible reed withstands.

Who cares what they say?

You do.  To the point that at times you never even take the first step as you pre-empt the judgement and think why bother.

Start bothering!

Start taking the first step!

It’s not easy.  And there are days where we all just want to throw in the towel and say “Fuck this shit.  It’s too much.  It’s never-ending.  It’s bullshit.  It’s easier to just go back to being average.”

It’s cool.  Throw the towel.  Rage and curse and get it out of your system.

Then go pick up the fucking towel, dry off your tears, take a deep breathe, square your shoulders and take the next step.

Just one step.

That’s all you can ask of yourself.

It’s all you need to take – one more step.

And another.

And another.

Before you know it you will have walked a mile.

The truth is you’re not going to do it until you start seeing the truth of who you are – your true power and beauty and magnificence.  You’re not going to do it if all you do is criticise yourself because that just slows you down, makes you tired, has you losing the fight.

So what will you do today to break the cycle of self-criticism?

My recommendation is that you write yourself a love letter.  Start with your body – God knows we love finding fault in her!  Except this time you are going to find all that is good and pure and beautiful and powerful in her.  Write it down.  Thank your body.  Each and every part of her.  Praise her.  Find the beauty even in those crooked little toes.

Then write yourself a love letter on relationships.  All of them.  The good, the bad and the ugly.  Praise yourself for attracting those lessons into your life.  Find the learning in each and every one.  Find the beauty of how you have grown in them.

Next write yourself a love letter on your career path and finances.  All the positions you’ve held.  All the companies you’ve maybe started and closed down.  All your ‘failures’ and learnings. All your decisions – those who gave you favourable results and those who had you landing on your ass.  Thank yourself for having the courage to make those decisions.  Praise yourself for your adventurous spirit in not always choosing the easiest path, for taking the long way to success.

This is not easy work Darling.  And it’s definitely not something you’re going to do once and never have to revisit.

This is a journey of empowered choice which few will make.

But it is one powerful first step.

The first step is choosing to heal this in yourself thereby taking back all the power you’ve given away over the years.

And it’s time to do it!

For our time has come to rise.  Our time to let that shit go and be the warriors that is so needed in a time when humanity is in crises.

For death is coming.  You can choose to thrive until then.

With eternal love,


PS:  Ever wonder exactly why people choose to work with me?  Well this is it.  This is the journey my clients take with me.  The journey whereby they rise and do the deep work that has kept them achieving average results instead of making the impact they came here to make.  They work with me because I’ve been gifted to see the magnificence residing within, the purpose they have in this lifetime, and I hold them up to that.  When they throw down the towel I tell them to choose – walk away or toughen up and pick it up.  I don’t pick it up for them.  It’s all about showing them the choices they have not seen before.  And every time they pick up that towel they become stronger.  This journey is not for everyone.  It’s for you if you’re truly ready to rise.  If you know that you can no longer tolerate living a false life pleasing the masses.  Things you need to know upfront – your tears don’t scare me; I curse like a sailor especially when I get passionate; I don’t tolerate bullshit excuses; I believe in you even when you don’t.  If this is speaking to your soul, then let’s connect today.  Mail me or book your free consult here.



What would you do differently if you had a gazillion bucks?

As I’m planning out my day ahead I can’t help but be filled with absolute joy and excitement.

Meditation and journaling is being followed by blogging.  After this I’m off to run through the forest and seeing how many bunnies I can spot before they burrow down for the day.  This will be followed with a private coaching session with a client who completely inspires me.  Then more writing.  Continuing with the creation of my next course.  I might jump into my FB group for an impromptu live and hang with the girls for a while.  Yoga to challenge this ole body and mind.  Spending time with the boys.  Reading and learning.


I live a blessed life.

When I think about it, my life is just about as perfectly designed by me to fill me up on every side as she can be.

Which brought me to the question I normally ask prospective clients – if money was no longer a factor, what is the dream?

I can’t tell you how often the answer is ‘sitting on the beach doing absolutely nothing’.





Needless to say these are not my people.

These are the people so exhausted from pure existence that they are ready to give up and die.  They’ve lost the will to fight.

My soul tribe on the other hand, are creatives, achievers, change catalysts hungry for more.  They are here to bring healing and change in whatever form and NOT doing this is absolute torture.

Not bringing forth your art is suffocating.

Not bringing change and instead witnessing the suffering of others feels like a stab in the gut.

Not healing yourself and instead holding your gifts secret so that others won’t feel uncomfortable around you becomes intolerable and at some stage you have to choose – either let it out or commit suicide because the depression that ensues is too much to bear.

This is the life of my soul tribe.

The danger in this is that at times we can forget to look after ourselves.  We can get into a space of extreme hustle and “GO GO GO” that we forget to eat, forget to meditate, forget to fill our own cups.

Then one day you sit your ass down to create and NOTHING.

Not a single idea comes through and you’re like “What the fuuuuuuck?”

Because this is not our natural state.

We create like motherfuckers.

It just flows through us.

We are the messengers who understand that it’s never been about us.  It’s about the message.

So when the message doesn’t come through it’s like the canary in the mine.

Something is seriously wrong Darling.

There’s a lack of oxygen.  A lack of life force.  And if you don’t do something about it asap you’re in deep shit.

Which is exactly why I’ve designed my life in such a way that there is more than enough joob-joob to keep me going like an Energizer Bunny on steroids.

I’ve designed my life in such a way that the money has become irrelevant because I have witnessed first hand the destruction that obsession with dollars can bring.  Even if someone was to pay a gazillion bucks into my bank account today, I wouldn’t change my schedule.  Not a single thing.  Because every single item on my schedule fills me with joy and therefor is necessary for my thrive.

I honestly don’t feel like my ‘work’ is work.

In fact, holidays are more work for me than my daily life.

I’m not a big fan of holidays where I’m expected to sit around and do what?

I want to write every day.

I want to train every day.

I want to coach every day.

They all revitalise me!

This didn’t just happen overnight either.  I really had to start tuning in to my body to identify what brought me joy and what completely drained me and then had to make the choices of what to let go of and what to bring in.

I had to work with some seriously challenging clients for me to understand exactly who I am here to serve.  And my soul clients are a true gift in my life.

I had to stop training for a while as I started thinking there was something wrong with me for enjoying the pain to understand that my body was made to move.  A lot.  She fucking loves it!

I had to go through a period where I stopped writing because censoring myself for the haters became such a drain that I would rather drink vinegar than write another well thought-out sentence.

My life is a pure expression of me.

It is uncensored.

It doesn’t follow the rules of how a responsible adult should conduct herself.

I fucking refuse to ever adult!

I’m seriously happy in my energy of child-like exuberance and creativity.

If you had to give a child a million dollars they wouldn’t change.  They would continue to play in the same way they are playing right now.

Maybe that’s the answer then – maybe more people should grow the fuck down!

Maybe more people should start playing, drawing, creating, running whilst laughing, riding their bikes just for the hell of it bunny-hopping whenever they get the chance.  Maybe more people should start sleeping soundly and wake feeling refreshed.

Yip I think that might be the answer.

I personally think people take themselves way too serious.  If you can’t laugh at yourself you’re in deep Doo-doo because life has a way to keep us humble.  And you can’t laugh at yourself when all you do is grind away at a mere existence.

If you’re not enjoying your life because you’re slogging away to make that $10k month or $100k month or whatever the number is because you think THEN you will live an amazing life, you’re in for some serious disappointment Darling.  Because if you can’t have fun on the way of making whatever that amount is that you’re aiming for, then if the economy crashes and you lose all the money you’re going to be miserable as duck in hunting season.

Here is my challenge to you – sit that scrumptious ass of yours down, look at your schedule and ask yourself “How would I change this if I received a million dollars today?”

Then fucking change the thing.

Why not?

Who’s rules are you trying to follow by living according to a schedule that doesn’t make your ovaries tingle?

What are you doing because you think you have to?  Because you know, it’s what responsible adults do.

As long as you think along these lines you will never see the endless possibilities of living the dream AND receiving the money.

Even sadder, you will never get to the understanding that the money is just energy.  That it’s not the be all and end all.

Your life is!

For the love of God please stop wasting another day by choosing to be fucking miserable, unhealthy, addicted to mediocrity because it is sucking your soul dry!

Do you get that?

Is it really worth living a life that keeps you so exhausted that your family scatters the moment that you get home because you suck the life out of them in an attempt to restore your emptied reserves?  It is really worth trying desperately to numb the pain by murdering your body with booze and smokes and greasy food? Is it really worth empty promises to your loved ones of how things will change when you hit the jackpot only to realise that when you have all the money you have lost all the people?

I don’t think so.

Start living TODAY.

Start scheduling your day with activities that has you high vibing like a mofo.  And that always includes moving your body!  Always.

For death is inevitable.  Thriving is a choice.

With love always,


PS:  This week I’ve put all my online courses on special cutting the prices with more than 60%.  Why did I do this?  Because so many people know that they need a new way of thinking but they’re so stuck they simply don’t even know where to start. I also know a lot of people have tons of excuses as to why they can’t get the necessary support to get out of their funk, money always being on the top of that list.  Now I’m not saying that you’re one of those people Darling, but if you know you deserve a little support and this will make it a no-brainer for you then move ass and sign up.  All my courses give you life-time access so even if you “don’t have time” right now, you can do it whenever you do have time. Offers only valid to Sunday so here’s your choices:  Get Your Shiz Together (Now only $49), SQUAT (Now only $19), Personal Success Blueprint (Now only $19).


Nothing will ever change until you start believing in yourself.

It’s Monday morning.

It’s the last week of Winter.

Time to make new choices.

Time to set new goals.

Time to create the next level thrive.

Time to get your sweet ass moving Sunshine for hibernation is over.

I’m not just talking about the seasons.

I’m talking about life.

I’m sitting here looking at the awesome life I’ve created in the last couple of years and I know it all started the moment I decided to become an IronMan. The moment I stopped limiting myself by the beliefs of others.  When I stopped being ‘realistic’.  When I stopped setting goals based on my past performance.

There is a change in the air, in the energy, in the expectations that the Universe has of us.

There’s renewed magic rising and with it a return of the old ways where women were revered as the bringers of life and health and the empowered masculine stand by her side supporting her, protecting her.

That’s right Hun – it’s time for women to stop pretending to be helpless maidens in distress and to start kicking ass!

But this can only happen if you start believing in yourself.

If you start understanding that those dreams that you have at night that light you up are not only possible for you, they are actively seeking you out.

You have to start thinking differently.

You have to start showing up differently.

The time of pretending to fit in is officially over for those of us who came here in this lifetime to be catalysts of change.  For those of us who came here in a time when chaos is rife and millions are held in the deceptive hell called existence.

And I’m not talking about doing this for yourself.

It starts with you.

But it doesn’t end with you.

You are simply the domino who has a responsibility to start a ripple effect that causes waves of impact thereby giving all in your sphere the opportunity to wake the fuck up and start making the powerful choices that lead to a life of joy and health and thrive!

What the hell are you still waiting for Darling?

Are you waiting for someone to show you the way?  The seven steps?  Because let me tell you that those seven steps do not apply to you.

I was running through the forest yesterday following a path winding through trees and pine needles when all of a sudden it vanished.  As I turned around I realised that it was never a path to begin with.  Once again I had managed to go off the beaten track.

Which is a theme in my trail running.

I’ve never been able to see the path that everyone else follows.

Instead I see ways that don’t exist, until I stop seeing them.  That’s when I find myself in magical spaces untouched by humans where life takes on a special glint with sun streaks highlighting moss and the smallest of flowers undisturbed by feet.

That’s when I get to climb over fallen trees and duck under low branches and explore that which the Goddess has created.

This is my way.

The way of the forgotten.

It is not for the faint of heart and in all honesty I used to shit my pants every time I got lost.  And I still don’t enjoy getting lost in cities or on highways.  It freaks me out.

But when I’m in nature, Oh My God, my heart takes on a new lightness of pure exhilaration.

It’s when I understand that mine is a solitary journey of remembering that I’m always safe and taken care of.

I have this deep knowing that as long as I keep moving I will eventually come out somewhere epic.

And then when I keep going I will eventually find someone who will guide me back home if I really need to.

I completely trust and believe in the Universe in this way.  And I have absolute belief in myself that no matter how unfit I might be at this stage I will be able to walk a hundred kilometres if I have to.

I have absolute fait and belief in myself.

It didn’t come easy.

I fucking worked for it.

I did IronMan for it.

I did SkyRun for it.

I did all that shit so I could share with you my learning so you can get there without taking the long way around as I have.

Not that I would want to take the short cuts.

I don’t buy into this instant bullshit that society keeps squashing down our throats.

I have no desire to get ‘there’ in a flash.

I’m having way too much fun with this journey called life.

Maybe the whole drive for overnight success is because are simply not following their hearts desires so they’re fucking miserable and they think that the finish line is going to make them happy.

Man, are they in for a rude awakening??

So what would happen if you had to really start believing in yourself?

What would life look like if you stopped selling yourself short?

Which goals would you set if you stopped trying to figure out the how and just knew in your heart that you’ve got what it takes regardless of your current shape or circumstances?

What would your life and business look like if you operated from this place of utter trust and belief, fuck the systems and steps that everyone preaches?

What would you create if you actually stopped looking at everyone for the answers and instead put on your creative panties and started bringing to life unbelievable results that blows people away with it’s ingenuity?



Chocolate Covered Peanut Butter


Can you even imagine the freedom??

Can you imagine the sense of complete and utter accomplishment?

Can you imagine the excitement coursing through your veins when you look up and there’s no fucking footprints in front of you??


I’m so excited for you.

Because this is the life I’m choosing and let me share this with you Darling:

People think I’ve completely lost the plot.

They see me howling on my bike and they look the other way terrified of making eye contact with me as they pass me with their shoulders hunched over.

They see my howling in my car and they shake their heads in confusion because they simply don’t get the fact that there’s so much life energy coursing through my veins that it’s impossible for me to keep it inside.

I howl a lot these days.

They see me out living a life of choice and they jealously call me a lucky bitch.

Hell yeah Baby.

Because I make my own luck.

I believe enough in myself that I can live life on my own terms.

What will it take for you to start believing in yourself today?

What the fuck will it take?

To throw out the rule book?

To break the chains of mediocrity?

To leave the path and make your own?

To go on adventures such as you’ve never gone on before?

What’s the worst thing that could happen?  You could get lost.  You could scrape your knees.  You could fall down a long forgotten mine shaft.  You could scream and nobody hears your voice.  You could die.

Yip, you could die.

You’re going to die anyway FFS.

On the flip side you could get lost.  You could discover natural beauty that takes your breath away.  You could find there’s a fire that rises in your body that lights it’s way all the way out of your throat and you can fucking HOWL Darling.  You could howl!!!!

You could start living life on your own terms by your values doing what you came here to do and this could bring so much joy in your life that you simply don’t understand why on earth people still choose existence when all of this is available to all of us.

Because they’re too fucking scared to  do the work.

Know this – YOU ARE SPECIAL!

Not everyone is like you.

You are courageous and inspirational and magnificent and powerful and driven and here to bring change.

Stop waiting for everyone around you to take the next step.

Leave the fuckers behind.

Eventually they will look up and see you in the front and then they can make the choice of catching up or staying where they are.  It’s their choice.  You can’t make it for them.

But you can start making different choices for yourself.

It all starts with a deep belief in yourself.

I believe in you.

I know you.

There’s a reason you’re reading this.

Because you know what I’m saying is true.  It speaks to a spark inside of you that you’ve been trying desperately to hide because others have judged you in the past.  Their fear of your power had them telling you to keep it quiet, a secret, that it’s not safe for you.

Well Sister, fuck that shit.

You’re as safe as you choose to feel.

Your power needs to come out and play.

And so do you.

Start playing and watch the magical transformation of your life.

Lose your way and then keep moving forward.

You will never know what you’re truly capable of until you start living outside of your comfort zone and start smashing that glass ceiling held in place by YOU!

That’s right – nobody can keep you small except for yourself.

Aren’t you tired of it yet?

Aren’t you exhausted by the farce of a life where you pretend to be normal?  Average?

Fuck average and normality and mediocrity.

You my Darling came here to thrive!  To shine!  To inspire.

Stop your shit.  Believe in yourself.

Let’s go.

For death is always inevitable.  But thriving is a choice.

With love always,

Anel Motherfucking Bester

PS:  Are you ready to go next level?  I mean really go there.  I’m talking about setting the goals that defy reason but that has so much passion coursing through your veins that you become indestructible?  I’m talking about taking a sledge hammer and destroying all glass ceilings?  If you are then it’s time for us to connect.  I’m currently taking applications for private coaching clients.  You’ll know inside if this is our time to work together.  You’ll intuitively know that I’m the coach who will keep you accountable to a new standard of thrive.  If so I invite you to book your consult here to find out if we’re a good fit.

Reclaim your power from within the silence

I currently have the impression of myself on a rocket ship of personal growth, healing, empowerment, revelations, remembrance.

It’s scary as shit.

Not all that pleasant most days.

I have a deep inner knowing that this is the right time, that I’m finally ready, and the Universe is lovingly gifting me with all the support I require to really delve deep and retrieve my long forgotten truths.

As I sit here writing to you I can’t help but be struck by the contrast of my energy and surroundings compared to a few months ago.

A time when I thrived in chaos, loud music, adrenaline pumping activity and a pace which must have seemed like a tornado to those standing on the outside periphery.

This morning I’m sitting quietly.  I’ve been on a sunrise run followed by flowing yoga and meditation.  Soft chants are filling the air.  Next to me a beautiful cup filled with rose green tea.  The dogs are lazily soaking up the warmth of the sun by my slipper clad feet.

I feel content.

I feel at peace.

I feel…

I feel strong.

But it’s a different strength from the physical masculine energy I’ve embraced for the last couple of decades in a desperate effort to survive in a world where I was quite honestly terrified.

It never hit home just how unsafe I felt.  How I constantly stayed busy and pumping and listened to angry music so that my body would be filled with adrenaline just in case I need to instantly go into fight or flight response.  Come to think of it, I probably lived in perpetual fight or flight mode for most of my life.

I did everything in my power to avoid the silence.

A state which I now view compassionately in most people.

I can’t help but wonder what they’re personal fears are.

For me it only hit home this morning.

I used to really judge myself as being a wimp for being so afraid of the silence, afraid of the dark.

Surely everyone craves the silence.

The aloneness that gives us time to go within and just pluck around in our subconscious minds to understand the drivers of our current behaviour.

After all, this is my passion!

My life purpose work.

Why then was I so afraid to come to a standstill?  What was it about the dark?

I used to laughingly blame my aunt and her passion for horrors which she watched with me as a young girl.  Who can ever forget Stephen King’s clown in It??  Or that psycho baby that literally cut his way out of his mother’s abdomen and then tore his evil way through the town?  Or Chucky??

But those are superficial fears.

They are the characters I used to mask the true monsters in my mind.

Except they aren’t monsters at all.

They are just people struggling to make sense of life. People who at some stage were made to feel weak and in their desperate attempt to feel strong they would prey on those physically weaker than them.

In my life scenario that physically weaker person was always me.

So it was that in the silence I was made to submit.  Mostly through force.

I was told to keep quiet.

To not make a sound.

To not tell anyone.

That by screaming out I would bring pain to those I love the most.

I would bring them pain by showing them how shameful I am.

Always the shame.

I was terrified for a long time.

Then I was pissed for an even longer time.

And now, finally, I’ve found peace, compassion and gratitude.

Gratitude for the life lessons which taught me that in any given moment there will always be someone physically stronger than me.  There will always be those who will turn their inner turmoil onto others in a desperate attempt to reduce the pain tearing them up.  And yes, they can hurt me physically and emotionally like a motherfucker.

But in all of this I have learned that they can never break my spirit.  They can never take away from me my power to choose joy in life.  They can never silence my voice – not because I want to shame them.  But because I no longer feel ashamed.

What happened happened.  That’s all.  It doesn’t define me.  It doesn’t make me less of a person.  It doesn’t mean I’m not a worthy person.

I am.

I know that now.

I’m no longer afraid of the silence.

I no longer have the frantic drive to keep so busy that I never have time to do the introspection and bring healing to myself, thereby bringing healing to you.  Even if we never meet.

For this is the way that healing is currently brought to those of us who have chosen to live in this amazing time of change and transformation.

Where the world seems to be in complete chaos because the era of the ego driven fear-mongerers is coming to an end.  But before the world can once again find peace, it has to face the silence.  It has to go inside and heal.  It has to forgive.

Healers are being called to courageously rise and start healing themselves.

That means you Darling.

You can start living your life purpose on the next level by finding one teeny weeny little thing within yourself that needs to be brought to the light for healing.   That one incident which fills you with shame, with anger, with resentment.  That one relationship that you’ve never been able to make sense of.

Ultimately forgiveness is a choice.

What really helped me was the understanding that my soul came here for a purpose and that everything happens for me.  I truly believe that.

Once I understood my purpose I could make sense of all the events, find the learning, and use it to my advantage to continue stepping into the shoes of the woman who came here for a reason.  The woman who has a job to do and who is ready to fully own her responsibility now.

I now know that my life purpose is not going to be achieved through anger and rage.  My purpose is going to be achieved through love.  And I bet yours will too.

I know it’s scary Darling.  I know it’s painful and I beg you to honour the journey and not to take shortcuts.  Allow yourself the time and space to work through the events that have kept you hiding from the silence, from the darkness.  Allow yourself to feel the full range of emotions and to do so deeply.  Your emotions after all are here to serve you.  They are here to guide you.  They bring you messages.  They bring you healing.

Feel them.

And know you don’t have to do this alone.

My breakthrough came after a three hour session with two soul sisters purely by us holding a space of healing and support for each other.  Without them I would not have had the insight at this time and I definitely would not have been writing this blog today.

It’s time for us to break free from the prison of shame.  Even if you are the physically stronger person who look back and think you’ve done some seriously dick shit in your life, forgive yourself.  Find the learning, find the healing and connect that to your purpose and grow from it.  For shame and blame only perpetuates the pain and the resulting jack-ass behaviour.

I’m taking the rest of today to just sit in this blessing and realisation.  I’m going to sit in the woods and listen to the silence of nature.  I’m going for a massage and releasing tension of old from my body.  I’m going to read uplifting words from a magical book.

My work for today is done.

The real work.

The hard work.

And ultimately that’s the only work that really matters.

I invite you to do the same.

For death she is coming.

You can choose to thrive until then.

With love and light,


PS:  Are you feeling called to do the deep work?  The courageous work of introspection, connecting to your purpose and bring to life that which you know in your bones you came here to do?  I’m opening my practice to a handful of clients for private work.  Please know this is not for the person who seeks a colour by numbers picture.  This is for the creative who understands the power of a holistic approach to life where body, mind and spirit comes together in a powerful release of wisdom.  The healer who is ready to heal herself.  The leader who is prepared to walk up front even though it’s daunting.  The person who is prepared to focus and get shit done.  If that’s you then apply here or mail me at



Where does modelling stop and copying start?

I have the ultimate love-hate relationship with technology.

I love the fact that I’m constantly connecting with the most fascinating, inspirational people all around the world through technology.  I love the fact that I don’t have to rely on the postal system to connect with those I love on a daily basis.  I love the fact that at the click of a button I can sit in the living room of a soul sister in New York City and talk about everything and anything for more than an hour.

I love that.

I hate the complexity of technology and the fact that I’m always ten steps behind.

I also hate the constant noise that at times become so overwhelming that I just want to get on my bike and ride for days, completely secluded from everyone and everything.

I just want to hear my own thoughts again.

I want to look at myself in the mirror and not compare myself to all the images I’m constantly bombarded with.

I hate the fact that every now and again I find myself pulled into the addiction of FOMO.  Checking my inbox, checking my feeds, how many have liked my posts, how many have unsubscribed.

It drives me nuts!

It makes me doubt myself.

It feeds my insecurity until I find myself shrinking into the shadows.

And let’s admit it, it’s not hard to feed the beast of ‘Not Good Enough’.  I would wager that this is our number one remembering as humans.  The fact that we are good enough.  Just as we are.  Nothing else needed.

But it’s really hard to remember when we go online and see the polished image of others who appear to be have the answers to true success and happiness.   Even though on one level we know that the image is the work of an entire team of professionals who staged it all for a moment of ‘inspired perfection’ there is another level where we convince ourselves that the captured moment is a reflection of their norm (hey maybe it is!).  We convince ourselves that the radiant smiles is an indication that they have discovered something that we are still floundering with so we start focusing on them to the point where sometimes we forget who we are and instead we chameleon into a copy of those we admire.

I suspect this has been perpetuated by technology.

Because if you think about it modelling is probably as old as time.

But it’s changed.

Modelling started as apprenticeship whereby the learner would model the skills required for their craft.  The focus was on the mechanics.

Then we received the gift of books and we could absorb the thought processes of those we greatly admired.  Modelling their beliefs thereby building a new foundation upon which to live.

Now we have media.  I feel the danger is that instead of researching the behind the scenes reality that allows the person to show up in that way, we’re tempted to simply copy the end results and then think we’ll bring the same depth of work to society as those who walked a long journey to get to this point.

I do believe in the power of modelling and collapsing the timeline.

But what’s the price we are paying by focusing on the image instead of the learning?

Personally I’ve fallen into this trap on more than one occasion.

I would get hooked by the ‘branded image’ of a person and instead of delving deeper to discover the possible alignment of values and definitions, I would look at my ordinary reflection and judge myself as lesser than.  This would result in a frantic scurry to change as quickly as I could so that I can look ‘better’.

Except it wasn’t better.

It wasn’t sustainable.

It was exhausting because I’m a person not a brand.  I have no desire to be a brand.  Sorry to disappoint you but I just want to be myself.




Ever changing and evolving.

I want to wear fluffy pj’s and sweaty cycling kit and torn jeans and sexy black numbers.

Some days I want to ride my bike and dance and sing off key and coach and love and fight and run and write and practice the hard yoga poses.

Other days I want to curl up on the couch and read my book, drink hot chocolate, meditate, soak up the sun, walk by the beach and chat to my boys.

I want to be all of me.

I’ve never desired to be one-dimensional and if I’m completely honest the only reason I ever got caught up in this trap is because I wanted your approval.  I wanted you to like me.  I wanted to feel good enough for you.

Well Honey, I love you but I have no desire to be perfect, not even for you.

I want to fuck up and learn.

I want to sometimes say the most inappropriate things that makes my mom blush.

I’m here to upset the apple cart, to push buttons, to make people stop for a moment and think.

But I’m also here to LIVE my life in a way that has me exhilarated and crazy and having fun!

My life purpose is about waking up those who are tired of existence and nobody ever wakes up whilst being lulled in soothing arms of comfort.

Well I didn’t anyway.

I woke up because the pain pierced my dulled senses with such might that I had no choice but to respond.

Not that I have any intention of hurting people.

Existence is enough pain.

I believe we need to be willing to get uncomfortable and embrace our imperfection as our perfection.

I believe it’s time we get triggered by the mirrors held up by others with the intention of introspection and ultimate healing.

God knows I’m triggered daily!  My first response is always outrage – how dare they?  But ultimately my soul brings me back to my truth.  She makes me take a look inside and investigate the mirror of that which I haven’t wanted to see within myself up to this point.

It’s a pain in the ass.

It’s such an amazing blessing.


So here I am – wrinkles and scars and cellulite and greying hairs (okay not those, Kaylene will keep on colouring those).

Some days I’m going to show up and kick your ass.

Some days I’m just going to have a good old chin wag.

I’m human.

I’m woman.

I have moods and insecurities and more personalities than the fathers of psychology have identified.

If you want to unsubscribe, I get it!   Completely.  And I respect that choice.

I’m just going to keep on writing my daily truth.  Using my voice knowing the pitch will change at times.

And maybe later you’ll come back and see what else I’ve been up to.

Maybe you’re ready to do the same.

Maybe you’re ready to stop being a brand and start being a person again.  Hanging your ass out there for all to judge.  Knowing that there will be those who don’t get it.  Those who think that what you look like matters more than your journey of self-discovery.  Those who want to the answers rather than getting the inside scoop of a wanderer.


My wish is simply that whatever you choose, will have you thrive.

That’s all.

Just thrive.

For the opposite of thrive is exist – and for me, that is worst than death.

With love always,

One crazy ass wanderer


PS:  Coaching saved my life.  It was the one healing modality that empowered me to stop focusing on the desperate attempt of finding all the answers out there and to start unlocking the wisdom within.  This is the gift that I continue to bring to my clients.  There’s been such a tremendous shift in global energy over the past few months and I’m watching with excitement as more and more people are awakening and thirsting for their wisdom.  If this is the time where you feel called to connect with your greater purpose and to do the work you came here to do, I’m here to hold the space for you to do so with confidence and courage.  I’ve opened my practice to a handful of new private clients with whom to journey for a period of six month.  If you feel called to work with me at this time drop me a mail or book a consult today.


Just because I’m a mother doesn’t mean I have to be a saint.

Never in my wildest dreams did I ever think I would become a mother.

For as long as I can remember I’ve always been the odd girl who didn’t go all coocoodedoo when I saw a baby.

Even as a teen I watched my friends, perplexed at their desire to hold any baby that came within arms length.

Personally I wanted to run in the opposite direction.

I cringed when this smelly, wrinkly, defenceless bundle of scream was put on my lap.

Fast forward to age twenty seven and you find me sitting on a toilet seat staring at those cursed pink stripes.

I thought my life was over.

I thought of my mother and her absolute shock in finding out her daughter was pregnant.  She wasn’t.

I thought of my grandmother and her horror in finding out her granddaughter was pregnant.  She wasn’t.

Outside my now husband was jumping up and down in jubilation phoning the entire fucking world with the news.

I was in shock.

I was angry.

I was bawling my eyes out.

This was not the deal I had with God.

But apparently her plans were different from mine.

So I did the only thing I could think of doing at the time.

I started eating.

And eating.

And eating.

I suspect that the poor cashiers would ring up those packets of chocolate brownies as fast as they could, fearing that I would eat them as well if they didn’t hurry up.

I didn’t do pregnancy well at all.

In all honesty I fucking hated being pregnant.

I felt sick all the time.

I would carry a vomit bag in my car not sure I would make the trip home each day.

I couldn’t stand the smell of toilet cleaner and would lie green on my bed at night wanting to die.

People would say I had that beautiful pregnancy glow and I would think to myself “You stupid motherfucker, I’m not glowing I’m sweating because there’s too much fat on my body for me to cope with the heat!”

Have I mentioned that I didn’t do pregnancy well at all?

I was so afraid of doing it wrong.

Everyone told me not to worry.  They told me the moment that baby is put in your arms everything changes and my mother gene will kick in and it will be perfect.

The bastards lied.

Pregnancy was followed by babyhood with excruciating breastfeeding, shitty nappies, vomit, screaming – so much screaming!

And then just when the baby screams stopped the toddler tantrum screams started.


Of course then I did it all again with baby number two.

This time around I went into full blown depression.

It felt as if nobody understood my private hell called motherhood.

Everyone else just seemed to get it right.

It was like there was a secret club that I was not being let into.

Like there was some godforsaken book that I didn’t read.

Whenever I tried to explain that God clearly made a mistake and somebody needed to tell me The Secret, I would be given a cup of tea or a glass of wine and pacified by cooing mothers telling me it will be okay.

It wasn’t fucking okay.

I would look in the mirror and be absolutely horrified by the overweight body screaming at me.

I was exhausted all the time.

The kids were there all the time!

No matter how early or late.

No matter what I was doing at the time.

I remember years where my greatest desire was to go to the toilet in peace!

Just once!

Closing the door and being able to pee on my own!

Was that really too much to ask?

For more than a decade I honestly felt that I as woman was a complete and utter failure.

I didn’t have what it takes.

I dishonoured the pure word motherhood.

I was a disgrace.

And why wouldn’t I feel that way?

Like Cinderella and Snow White and every other love story that little girls were brought up with, the Stork is complete and utter bullshit.

Except nobody ever had the balls to say it.

Nobody spoke about what really happens behind closed doors.

Instead we took our own shame of feeling inadequate and faulty and we turned it onto our sisters.  We didn’t want to own our shit so we would criticise others who showed any sign of weakness.

I should know.

I was normally that target.

Wanna know what I believe now?

I believe that my kids chose me because they sat in heaven with their little cherub wings and thought to themselves ‘Now who will be the most badass mother to teach me how to thrive?”

And they picked me.


Not the perfectly groomed mothers who seem to have eight arms at any given time.

Not the cooing gorgeous blondes with their perfectly manicured nails and designer pregnancy dresses.

I used to look at those women and hate them!  I used to wish for a nail to break or for a coffee to spill just once!

Now I look at them and I smile.

I think how wonderful that we live in a world where some souls came here to be perfect mothers.  It’s their joy.  It’s their purpose.

It completely fulfils them.

And then we have souls who came here to build companies, run marathons, burn supper, and raise a couple of future leaders in the process.

And it’s all good.

There is no one better than the other.

We all have our purposes.

And that my Darling is the truth.

Today I want to say to you that you don’t have to be a fucking saint just because you gave birth to a baby.

You are allowed to feel like shit when you wake up exhausted and all you want is to get that first pee in on your own before the screaming starts.

You’re allowed to look at your body aghast at the impact of five thousand and sixty two chocolate brownies in nine months.

You’re allowed to cry.

You’re allowed to scream.

You’re allowed to do whatever the fuck you want to.

It’s all good.

It’s all part of the journey.

It’s all part of remembering not to loose yourself in a label.

It’s all part of finding your joy regardless of how your life circumstances change.

It’s all about remembering that at any given time you have the power to choose your emotions.

And if that emotion is pissed off for now, then give yourself permission to feel pissed off.

I have to say I think today’s young women are doing it way better than my generation ever did.  For one thing maternity clothes are gorgeous!  Have you girls seen the shit we had to wear???

It’s almost as if they are remembering the way motherhood was done hundreds of years ago.

They are also way more open in talking about the reality of motherhood.

There’s less shame in admitting that it’s not all photoshopped moments.


But it’s still there.

Like so many other things that we as women have taken to shame ourselves and each other.

We’re quite good at the shame thing.

Shame about our language.

Shame about our bodies.

Shame about our beliefs.

Shame about our relationships.

Shame about our ambitions.

Shame about our money.

So much fucking shame!

How about we start cutting ourselves some slack sisters??

How about we start a different conversation?

How about we start a real conversation whereby we own our humanity and explore what that really means?  How about we stop being so afraid of what others will think because quite frankly, that doesn’t matter?

The only thing that matters is what YOU think about yourself when you look in the mirror.

Yours is the only opinion that matters.

You are the only one who knows your truth.

All of it.

Not just the glossy highlights that we tend to show others and then wondering why the fuck they get it all wrong making up untrue stories.

Are you even telling yourself the truth?

Or are you too afraid to look deep down and to see what is going on below the surface?

Because that’s where your true power lies.

But most are too afraid to go poke in the dark.

I dare you to go poking around Darling.

I dare you to drop the shame and to start loving yourself.

All of you.

Even all your ‘imperfections’.

I look at my boys and I fucking adore them with all my heart and soul.

I will die for them.

I am so proud of them.

Does that mean I want another baby?

Are you for real????

Have you not just read my blog?

No I don’t want another baby.

Factory has been closed down permanently.

I’m not going for that sainthood medal.

I have my IronMan medal – and that’s enough for me.

What about you?

What do you really want?

Whether you’re a mother or not, it doesn’t matter.

Trust that your kids chose you for a reason.  And I honestly don’t think they chose you to make you miserable (even though it feels like it when they throw themselves down in the isle screaming blue murder).

It’s time for you to own your desires again.  To get past the bullshit stories of why you can’t do it.  Stop using your kids as an excuse not to thrive.  Stop using your shame as an excuse not to show up fully.

Start living the life you hope your kids will have one day.

THAT is the greatest gift you can give your children.

Start being selfish.

It’s the most loving thing you can ever do.

For death is inevitable.  But thriving is a choice.

With love,


PS:  I’m thrilled to see more and more women seeing past all the societal programming of what is acceptable and unacceptable behaviour, ambitions, desire.  I’m thrilled to see more and more women going inside and finding their own truth, their soul purpose, their passion and taking the action to make it come true.  It’s phenomenal.  What most people don’t see are the coaches these women are working with.  That’s because it’s tough to take this journey as we normally don’t find ourselves in the environments where we feel fully supported to explore our personal truths to unleash our wisdom.  That’s the space I create for my clients.  I have opened up my practice to a select few clients who are ready to step up and own their dreams.  Those who feel called to do the real work so they can make the impact they came here to make.  If you’re ready to take that step and you know I’m that badass bitch who will lovingly kick your ass, then hit me a mail at and let’s connect.  I’ll keep it real because you deserve the truth that will set you free.


What if I told you it’s supposed to be fun.

Maybe it’s the moon.

Not sure.

But I woke up feeling way more relaxed than usual.

My fingers are slow to reach for the keys in an effort to express the knowing that I received this morning accompanied by a feeling of complete I don’t know what.  Peace?  Joy?  Surrender?  I can’t put a name to it.

It reminds me of the time I smoked something I won’t name just incase my kids read this. I found myself shutting out the demands of the world and unhurriedly absorbing the fascinating journey of a small ant carrying a bread crumb.  I loved it!  I felt happy. I  felt unhurried.

It was a looooong time ago.

That was probably also the last time I allowed myself the luxury of doing nothing but observe something as spectacular and miraculous as the journey of an ant.

For I am what is known as an achiever.

My entire life is driven by setting epic goals and then taking an insane amounts of action to smash those babies for a moment of exhilaration before hungrily searching for the next goal.

No I’m not going to change that.  I actually love the thrill of the entire choice of living my life this way.

I have no desire to sit zonked out for days on end.  I would get bored shitless and probably smoke something again.

What I did realise this morning however is that at times I have this tremendous sense of pain of not achieving fast enough.  Of not achieving more NOW.

Or so I thought.

The real pain is not my achievements or the pace in which I’m achieving.

The real pain is achieving the shit that really matters to me but then having to deal with the disappointing lack of enthusiasm from others because in their eyes the only thing I should be successful at is making money.

Are you serious?

Have you seen the blog photo?

That’s me!

That’s how I love to roll.

I love to thrive!

I love shenanigans.

I love to laugh.

I love to love life.

Which if I’m really honest has cost me years of true happiness because I looked around me and everyone seemed to be equating success to money, never mind how miserable most of the poor bastards chasing money look themselves.

So I would make less time for what fills my cup and more time doing ‘money making activities’.

No, I have no desire to be poor.  Been that, done that.  Not my style.

But I demand to have fun on the way!  To enjoy my journey!

I insist on having time to train and keep my body in peak physical condition so that I can carry my own bag when I go exploring.  I refuse to miss out of a gorgeous day at the beach so that I can do what?  Follow somebody else’s marketing formula which leaves me feeling depleted and uninspired?

I’ve tried that.

I really tried my best Sir.

I sucked Nickerballs at it.  Remember those and how you keep sucking and sucking until your cheeks are sore expecting god knows what only to find that every time you think you must have a break-through there’s another hard layer.

Except trying to follow all the crazy-making steps lacked the sweetness.

I’ve come to the understanding that what was causing me the real pain was not the results as they stand in my life – I adore my life – but the disappointment so often expressed by others.  And the fact that they look at me with resentment because how dare I be sooooo fucking happy all the time when I’m not driving a Bentley?

Well Hon, you can take your resentment and your indoctrinated values and kiss my happy pinkie toe.

I’ve taken the time to figure out what truly matters to me.  I’ve always paid more for my bikes than my cars because have you seen where I go on my bikes???

I’m taking the time to set the goals that light me up and to take the daily action to achieve them.

Just because you don’t understand why I’m not walking the trodden route that everyone else is following doesn’t mean I’m going to fall in line to soothe your confusion.

I guess some people will never understand the thrill of bundu-bashing.

The exhilaration that comes from not knowing exactly where the fuck you are or what the next step is going to reveal but just being open to the adventure of it all.

This is maybe why I’ve been blessed with no sense of direction.  I’m not kidding!  Ask anyone who really knows me and they will tell you how absurdly lost I can get even if I’ve driven a route a hundred times.  Every time I drive it everything seems brand new.  Which also means I get lost A LOT!

It used to freak the shit out of me.

Until I started riding my mountain bike, got lost and discovered something SPECTACULAR which most people never see as it is hardly ever on the official route.  I’ve found if I just keep going forward I will eventually come out somewhere and then I have no shame in admitting that I’m lost to complete strangers and have them guide me back to my car.

I would get back – muddy, exhausted, very late and thriving!!

Did I raise a few eyebrows and get lectured of how selfish I was to not be on time and how worried I made others because they were expecting certain responsible behaviours from me?

For as long as I can remember.

But you know what, it’s my life.  I’m here to live it and love it and sometimes that means just going with the flow of joy.

I do believe it’s time to take this philosophy into all areas of my life, including my business.

What’s the worst thing that could happen?

People will think I’m crazy?  Well most think that already.

I can fail and have to start over again?  Hahaha – been doing that for fifteen years Darling.  I’m still here.  Smiling.  Still fucking forward in unchartered waters and enjoying the learning.

I can actually find a whole new area of spectacular joy that I never knew existed?  Oh the horror!

I can inspire others who look at me longing to break out of their own existence, break the rules, break the chains, and nudge them to look inside and make the decision to give mediocrity a well manicured middle finger and thrive?


Isn’t that what it’s all about?

It’s not about pleasing others.

It’s not about doing it the way that all the little people are doing it.

We weren’t born to follow Darling.

We were born to head into a direction which has no clear path and scrape our knees, fall in the mud, conquer the mountains, sweat, swear, laugh, cry, scream, pant.


Don’t you just want to live life on your own terms?

Really live it?

Without always trying to please those who can never be pleased because they are not brave enough to do the work, to heal their pain, to return to their truth, to enjoy the adventure we’ve been gifted with?

But you are.

I know you are.

Otherwise you wouldn’t be reading this.

And here’s the thing – it’s your life purpose to live your life in a way that lights you up!  That’s what is needed by all of humanity and Mother Earth at this time.  People who serve as healers through their joy.  Pure and simple.

Just choose to be happy.

Just choose to live your life in a way that has you smiling.

That’s it!

I’m making the choice to not only continue setting the goals that light ME up, to walk where there is no path, to do what makes ME happy AND I choose to share it with those who get it.  Who get me.  Who choose to do the same.

I choose to stop setting myself up for pain and disappointment by sharing my truth with those who will just never understand.

I hope this piece inspires you to start doing the same.

Because YOUR true soul tribe is out there.  Scattered in the wilderness.  Like all wild wolves we don’t need to all walk on top of each other to howl our joy to the moon.  We stand our ground yet form a choir spreading over the globe like the smoke signals of old can span continents in the blink of an eye.

I am woman, Hear me howl!

Let me hear your voice Darling.

Let me hear you!

For death is coming.  But you can still choose to thrive now.

With love always,


PS:  Women don’t learn.  Women awaken.  Are you ready?  Are you ready to go inside and find your truth, your inspiration, your joy?  If so I am currently opening my practice to a few private clients.  This is a six month journey for those who are truly ready to do the work needed to break the chains that have kept you living at a frustrating level capped by a glass ceiling of your own making.   Mail me at for all the details.  Take my hand Sister.  I’ll walk beside you.  It’s your time now.  And you are ready for the next step now.

Shit is getting real Sisters. Are you ready for it?

I woke up this morning with a crazy fire burning through me.


I’m sweating like a pig.

My first thought was “Shit, I’m getting sick” but then I felt into it and this is not a fever.

It’s something from deep inside me that has been lying dormant most of my life.

It’s real.

And it’s probably burning all my bullshit away.

My bullshit stories of how I should conduct my business, how I should spend my days.

My bullshit stories of what I should look like for me to be pretty, to be acceptable.

My bullshit stories of not knowing what to do next, of seeking more knowledge, of doubting myself.

My bullshit stories about why it’s not safe for me to be seen.  Not safe for me to speak my truth.  Not safe for me to receive.  Not safe…

It’s weird and exhilarating and scary as fuck.

Shit is about to happen.

In a very big way.

Maybe you can feel it too.

Maybe you’ve been feeling that there’s a shift in the energy all about.

Maybe you’ve been doubting your sanity and writing it off to the moon, the politics, the crazy weather.

I don’t think we’re going to have the luxury of doubting ourselves for much longer.

I feel as though we’re being called to make the ultimate choice of the Age of Aquarius.

You know the choice I’m talking about.

Are you choosing to go mad?

Are you choosing to commit suicide?

Or are you choosing to wake the fuck up?

Because it is a choice and it’s not as easy as people think.

Our current culture is not conducive to waking up.

Our current system is built on mass manipulation of the comatosed who are being kept in slumber by drugs, by food, by porn, by media, by fear.

They wake up in the morning and exist by going through the motions they are being programmed with until they lay their heads down again at night.

I lived that life for way too long.

It nearly destroyed me.


We were raised to fear being seen, fear being heard, fear being different, fear being outspoken, fear being bullied, fear being rejected, fear fear fear.

The truly sad part for me is that fear is not the enemy.

Fear is your friend.

She is screaming a message which few are taking the time to understand.

Instead she’s been made public enemy number One.  The devil’s tool that is going to send your soul straight to the burning fires of hell for eternity.

I used to believe those lies.

Why wouldn’t I?  God knows that I saw all the evidence in my life.

And then some.

There’s shit that I’m not ready to share in public out of respect for my family but know this – I have chosen one helluva life of learning.

For it’s in the experiences that I have chosen that I received the opportunity to make my choices.

I could have chosen to become a terrified victim.

I could have chosen to become really bitter and resentful blaming everyone and everything for my lot in life thereby continuing the spiral downwards.

I could have chosen to shut down, keeping my soul locked up six feet under whilst my body goes through the motions.

I could have chosen any of those and then some.

But then I wouldn’t have woken up with the serpent rising in my belly today.

The serpent that is curling her way through my veins igniting my passion to remember who the fuck I am.

Not just now.

All of me.

The real me.

The me of all ages before and all ages to come.

Yes Darling, I am a spiritual being having an experience and here to tell people that everything is a choice.

To heal myself and by living my truth show people that there is another way, an exciting way, a rewarding way.

Not an easy way.

For it demands the other sister of fear, courage.

It demands that you stop learning and start remembering.

It demands that you break the rules that make no sense and start following your intuition.

Which will have others lash out in their fear and confusion because they don’t like waves.  Don’t rock the boat.  Stop your shit!  Sit down.  Shut the fuck up.  Go sit in the corner and don’t come out until you’ve learned your lesson and can behave yourself.

When I tell people we have a choice to make they all say they want to be leaders.  They all say they want to wake up.  Nobody admits that they choose to go mad sitting in front of a playstation for 12 hours straight in a desperate effort to escape their reality.  Nobody admits that they are poisoning themselves with tobacco and tar, drowning themselves in brandy, making themselves sick with processed food, committing suicide.

Oh no!

Nobody wants to admit that!

Because that would mean that they’re not choosing to wake up.

Waking up is uncomfortable.

It means a life of conscious choices.

It means taking full responsibility and accountability for your emotions, your actions, your life.

It means understanding that your soul responsibility is to start healing yourself instead of trying to ‘fix’ others.

That’s their choice.

It has to be.

Not even the gods interfere with free will.

Think about that Darling.

It’s easier to focus on everyone else and trying to heal them, fix their problems, fix your problems, focus on everything outside of you.

So that’s what we tend to do.

I’m daring you to start thinking of the possibility of rather focusing on YOU.  Only YOU.  Healing yourself.  Not your circumstances.  Not your bank balance.  Not your marketing calendar.  YOU.

On the inside.

That is scary as shit!

Because that means you’re actually going to have to go to the dark side.

The side you don’t want to see.

The side you don’t want to show others.

That side that we’ve made evil and scare little children with on a dark and stormy night.

She’s not evil Darling.  She’s just the other side of you here to serve you.  She’s part of your power that has been taken away from you because it scares the little people.

This week I’m going full Bitch mode.

I’m going full on ME and seeing what comes up.

I take full responsibility.

I take full accountability.

I make my choice to wake up and with eyes wide open see the truth I have hidden from myself for too long.

I’m allowing the serpent to rise.

I’m releasing control and allowing the Mother Goddess to support me in this birthing process.

For I am not alone.

I am safe and protected at all times.

And so are you.

Know this even when historically it’s felt unsafe for you to own your magnificence.

Take my hand Sister for I’m told it’s time for us to break the rules.  For us to start healing.  For us to start choosing.

It’s time for the Sacred Fools to come out and play.

What do you choose?

For death is inevitable.  Thriving is a choice.

With love and a tinge of fairy dust,


PS:  Are you ready Darling?  Are you craving to be surrounded by some amazing women who have made the choice to wake up, speak up and bring back the sacred sisterhood of old?  Then I would love to invite you to join my free Facebook group Business Rebels.  For you are not alone.  You are safe and you are protected.  We welcome you.