I sometimes wonder if I’m the only one who never stops questioning?
It’s like this relentless infantile voice in my head but instead of asking the annoying “why” that every two year old gets stuck on at some stage, my voice asks “is that really true?”
The really interesting part is not that I’m always asking the question. What fascinates me is that the answer is rarely yes for me.
Such as the saying that ‘the hardest part is getting started’.
Looking back on my life and the interactions I’ve had with my clients, the hardest part of any journey is NOT getting started.
The hardest part is the commitment to the outcome prior to having a clue on even how to even get started.
I’m talking high level commitment.
No matter what.
Regardless of current circumstances.
Doesn’t matter how far behind I’m starting from everyone else.
I don’t give a shit what everyone else says is possible or not.
I expect and embrace the judgement as part of my growth.
I’m willing to leave some people behind.
I know it’s gonna hurt like hell.
Yes I might look like a fool some days and be ridiculed by those who don’t understand.
THAT level of commitment.
I don’t even think most people register the level of commitment I’m talking about here.
Let’s be honest, there’s very few things that you’re still expected to commit to these days.
Don’t like your boss? Quite your job and find another one.
Don’t like how hard it is to build a business? Quite and go find a job again.
Not happy with the fact that your partner didn’t turn out to be perfect for you after all? Get a divorce because there’s millions of fish in the sea.
Too hard to say no to the tub of ice-cream even though you said you’re committed to losing weight? That’s okay Hun, everyone needs a cheat day.
On and on it goes.
Hey I’m not judging you! God knows at one stage or another I’ve been guilty of all these things as well and know I will fail again in future. I’m just saying that there’s no expectation from anyone else that we’ll actually make it happen when we say we’re going to do something mind-blowing. There’s no outside pressure which means that if you have little or no internal pressure, chances of you doing the epic shit is next to zero. You just become one of those people who talk a big game and walk a safe path.
To make it even more challenging, society has taken the elements which supports commitment and made them ‘bad’. Saying that they enslave us somehow. That they stifle us. That they squash our creativity.
Elements such as planning and routine. I can’t tell you how much resistance I receive from new clients when I tell them to plan out their days and to schedule EVERYTHING. Not just your business meetings. Hell no. That’s only one part of your life. If you want a fit body, schedule your training sessions, menu preparation, grocery shopping, meal preparation and eating times. If you want a good relationship with your partner schedule in date times. If you want to be a good parent and be present whilst interacting with your kids, schedule in specific times with them. If you want to work on your personal development, schedule in reading time, meditation time, journaling time. All of it! Scheduling and planning in fact frees up your mind so you don’t have to make more decisions on a minute to minute basis than what is needed! That means you get to use your mind-muscle to make the other decisions that truly matter, like what new product or service can you create that will add tremendous value to your clients and the world at large. Plus you don’t have to figure out from minute to minute how you’re going to fit in the actions required to achieve your goals.
Making the basics non-negotiable. I always find it rather astonishing if people ask me if I’m going to train. I made my training sessions a non-negotiable a looooong time ago. I don’t ever think about it. It’s on the schedule, I do it. I don’t give a shit what the weather is doing or how I’m feeling. It’s a done deal. I’ve started doing the same in my business. Every day I write. On whatever comes to me. And I trust that some people will think WTF, but one person will be reading it and it will be exactly what they needed to hear today. Every day I have coffee time with my boys. Not negotiable. My kids are my greatest supporters – in everything I do. And we wouldn’t have that relationship if I didn’t give them some undivided attention every single day. Every day I journal. I can’t imagine starting a day without investigating what’s going on inside and setting myself up for a rocking day. Every day I eat (LOL okay so that one seems to be a no brainer for most people). Again, by making the basics in my life non-negotiable I don’t have to think about it which means once again I free my mind up for other things. Plus when my basics are non-negotiable and I know they are the things that will get me to my committed outcome, it’s a done deal.
The last one I’m going to mention is surrounding yourself with genius. This is a biggie for people because let’s be honest, if you come from a background which is a huge contrast of where you want to go, you’ve got to let go of some people and surround yourself with those you aspire to be like. And that’s nerve-wrecking on both sides. Society likes to put us in containers and you’re kinda expected to hang with your people. The moment you want to go up (and why would you set a goal that doesn’t have you go up?) those around you start clinging and playing the guilt game. Plus we’re told that those at the top don’t want us hanging with them. I’ve found this to be complete bullshit by the way. I’ve never met a truly successful person who doesn’t want to mentor those with a deep desire to up-level. They do however have very good detection systems for those who want to learn versus those who just want a leg up. Huge difference. Respect that they’ve had to work for everything they’ve achieved – nothing for nothing Darling. Then surround yourself with those with the same values, the same drive, the same energy that you want to harness and you’re going to see some amazing shifts happening in way less time than you can possibly imagine.
Now consciously you might not be thinking of all these things, but subconsciously you KNOW this to be true. Which is why most people never make the commitment.
Not the real commitment.
Oh they say the right things and they take a few of the right actions to get started.
But why waste your time and energy if you haven’t made the real commitment?
And why loosely ‘commit’ to so many things other than to distract yourself from what will ultimately really matter?
When we start making a deep level of commitment, we understand that it’s simply not possible to commit to hundreds of things at any given time. This level of commitment means that we can focus on two or three goals max at a time. Because we’ve decided to see it through all the way to the end.
All. The. Way. To. The. End.
So here’s my challenge to you today: I want you to have a look at your life and:
1. Define commitment for yourself
2. Ask yourself, what are you truly committed to achieving this year in your health and fitness, your relationships, and your business or professional life.
3. Which structures can you put into place to ensure the outcome
4. Which goals have you set that in retrospect you’re not really 100% committed to that you need to let go of so you can focus on the stuff that really matters to you.
Now it’s time to get rid of the distractions, put your head down, and take the action.
The true hardest part is done Darling. The rest is easy.
Because ultimately death is inevitable, but thriving is a choice.
PS: Ready to stop playing at commitment and really get down to business? Do you know that you’ve tried this a gazillion times before and have a tendency to sway and wander on your own? Hey – that’s not weakness! Knowing yourself well enough to own up when you need support is the greatest level of strength shown. I’ve put together Kick-Start just for you. Thirty days where we not only set those goals, but get the structure in place to have you rock it out this year and beyond. Ready to thrive Darling? Let’s play.