Have you met Freddy?
Maybe you don’t recognize Freddy by that name. Maybe you call him by another.
Freddy is that scared little ego who lives inside your head. A cave creature who believes in dinosaurs, scarcity of resources, that your tribe is going to stone you to death if you speak your truth which always seems to ruffle some feathers.
The thing is, he sounds way bigger and more impressive because of the loud echo created within the emptiness of the cave.
Freddy keeps you in your well appointed place.
In the corner.
Don’t rouse their attention.
Freddy will show you all the reasons why you shouldn’t do the epic shit that lights you up with so much excitement that you can’t sit still! You know the stuff I’m talking about right? I can see you connecting with them as you read this. I can see you smile.
The dreams that were mere seedlings when you were young, running around with a towel tied around your neck depicting your super hero status, just in case passerby’s couldn’t see how broad and strong your chest was. The dreams you had about greatness, unlimited resources, amazing success, adventure, excitement, impact. Standing on the apple cart box turned upside down preaching to your dolls because you had something important to say and there was somebody who needed to listen.
The dreams you had before the other kids started teasing you for walking funny, talking weird stuff, being an outsider. The dreams you had before you grew up and had responsibilities. Bills to pay. Kids to raise. Spouse to please.
Remember those Hunny?
Except no matter how hard you try to suppress and deny those dreams, they’re still there waiting for you at night. They are the things you see when you close your eyes and go to the place you were born to be. The things you see others have and feel a burning jealousy creeping up in your throat. Except it hurts like a mofo to see it’s in fact all possible so you find a reason to judge them, criticize them, make them wrong.
You read right – jealousy and criticism is potential un-lived inside your soul.
Sorry Love. But it’s true.
I would know.
I’ve made love with the green-eyed monster and slept exhausted in her arms on more than one occasion until I finally understood this. Now instead of feeding her cabbage I thank her and feed her dark chocolate and red wine. Acknowledging my true desires and turning them into challenging goals.
This is where Freddy takes center stage.
OMG his voice is deafening!
Telling me all the reasons why I’m going to fail.
I’m not clever enough.
I don’t know enough.
I’m not good enough.
Who do I really think I am?
I’m not meant for this – I’m just an average girl born into a middle class life which is where I should remain and be grateful.
I’m going to piss people off.
I’m going to lose everyone and end up a miserable, fat, lonely old crone.
I don’t have the money to invest.
I don’t have the determination and the discipline.
Nobody gives a shit about what I think or what I have to say.
They will judge me for swearing.
It goes on and on and on.
Unless I write that goal down and take action before Freddy get’s past “Whaaaaaaat….” I’ve raised my well manicured middle finger and declared “speak to the finger because the ears ain’t home”.
Because if you give Freddy two chances he will change your mind Darling. He will make you hesitate just long enough for his poison to take hold in your heart and your courage will falter.
Here’s the thing though, Freddy ain’t never going away. He’s going to be with you until the day you die.
But there are things you can put in place that will ensure you take action and live your dreams despite his insistent whining in your ears.
Here’s my top strategies for shutting Freddy the fuck up:
- I always have a Dream Team – oh hell yeah I have to strength of Super Woman but even she fought better with a team around her. I make damn sure I have my BFF’s, my MasterMind group, my personal coach. Always.
- I write my goals down every day – I believe that when we go to sleep at night the Universe goes Alt Ctrl Del which means every morning is a brand new start. Clean page. Recommit.
- I have a huge reason for every goal – I’ve learned a long time ago that setting frivolous goals is just a way of keeping super busy and distracted from the epic stuff. If I can’t come up with at least ten reasons why a goal is a must-achieve for me, I don’t even bother.
- I do my mind-set work seven days a week – you know the old story about the two wolves inside right? The good and the evil which resides inside all of us and what determines which one wins is the one we feed today. Well Freddy and my Ing is the same. I choose to feed my Ing.
And if all else fails I ride my bikes! I’m so not even joking. If The Cookie Monster or Artemis could talk they would tell you tales of us being chased by demons and how loud we shout to drown out the fear-spewing bullshit that at times threatens to overwhelm me. When I’m on one of my bikes, something bigger than me takes over. I feel a sense of invincibility. A sense of calm. A knowing. All the answers come to me.
You might call it meditation.
I call it …
Actually it’s too perfect for the English language. Sorry, you will have to experience it for yourself.
So my Darling, what do you have in place to block out the voice of Freddy when you set those HUGELY exciting goals?
Here’s your mission (should you be courageous enough to accept it):
Sit your sweet ass down and write down your BIGGEST POSSIBLE dream. The one that you’ve secretly kept to yourself because you didn’t want people to lock you up for being a lunatic.
Ask yourself why have you not achieved this goal yet and let it all come out. All of it. Don’t sensor this. Give Freddy free reign and let him go ape shit.
Then sit with each ‘reason’ and ask ‘is this really true?‘ REALLY true – investigate each and every statement. Here’s the thing though, you need to start recognizing the difference between chocolate and manure. Here’s some of the most popular BS I hear:
- I don’t have the time
- I don’t have the money right now
- My kids are too young
- My spouse wouldn’t feel comfortable with me doing this
- I’m too young
- I’m too old
- I’m too unfit
- I’m too skinny
- I’m too fat
All of this boils down to one thing: “I’m too comfortable and too chicken shit to go for it”.
Understand this – THERE IS NOTHING THAT YOU CAN’T BE, DO OR HAVE!
Let me say it again – There. Is. Nothing. That. You. Can’t. Be. Do. Or. Have.
But it always takes some brass balls, some commitment, some support and a willingness to get uncomfortable and at times downright scared.
How much do you want it?
Because where there is a will there is ALWAYS a way. No matter who you are or what your current circumstances are.
Write that dream down and turn it into a goal by putting a deadline on her. Feed your Ing rather than Freddy and surprise the hell out of yourself.
Look in the mirror and give a loud Hoorah!
Because you’re invincible.
You’re kick ass.
You’re fucking magnificence in human form – and that’s a beautiful thing to witness Darling.
Because death is inevitable, but thriving is a choice.
With all my love,
PS: The one thing every one of my clients say is that they constantly hear my voice in their heads (LOL, shame). And my voice is always louder than their fear. That’s because truth and fear is unable to co-exist. And I give the truth. If you’re done listening to Freddy whining and moaning and scaring the living shit out of your dreams then now is the time we connect. I’m in the process of changing my entire business model, but until the end of June you can sign up to work privately with me for 30 days and absolutely crush it! If you’re a born achiever currently frustrated by average results in your life, then PM me immediately and I’ll send you all the details of Kick-Start. You have a choice to make right in this moment – are you going to commit and take immediate action, or are you going to wait for Freddy to do another number on you? It all comes down to choices.