Fuck their cookie-cutters, you’re NOT dough!

Trigger alert.

My inner bitch pulled her soap box out from under the bed.

This could potentially be nasty.

Quite frankly I’m so fucking over the fear-based marketing in an industry that I adore with every cell in my body, an art I truly believe in.

I’m so done with coaches telling people they are broken, that the reason they’re not rolling in the cash is because they are blocked, doing it wrong, missing a step.

You see it everywhere, and it’s very cleverly done.

First, they pump you up with the possibilities.

They give you hope with their story of struggle to triumph.

By all means, let’s inspire and be inspired.  I always say if I can do something anyone can.

I DON’T say that if you follow in my exact winding, twisting, haphazard footsteps you’ll get there too!

Chances are you’ll be drunk out of your mind by the end and wouldn’t be having fun at all!

They go into the deep recesses of your mind, speaking into all your secret fears.

Of how it’s not your fault, you just didn’t receive the blueprint at birth.

But don’t worry, because THEY HAVE THE ANSWER FOR YOU.

And if you’re just willing to sell your underwear, one child and max out your credit cards,

you can be successful too.


Well, I didn’t sell the child, but was possibly considering it.

Now, let’s just take a step back here and think about this for a moment shall we?

Oh, and by the way, this is based on MY INTERPRETATION of coaching – which is me believing in YOU, that YOU already have all the answers inside of YOU which I bring to the surface through safe and creative space creation and some ball-scratching questions.

What I’m experiencing in the ‘coaching’ industry, is a metric ton of ‘mentors’ – those who come from a space of expertise, who share what’s worked for them, and if you’re like them, it will work for you too.  If you’re not like them, it won’t.  Simple.

There’s absolutely a space and a place for that!

We don’t all have to reinvent the wheel.

Not everyone desires to be an original.

Some just want to colour in by numbers and get picture even though it looks the same as thousands of others.

For them, it’s only about the outcome.  Not about actually enjoying the work.

However, if you’re not a copy-person and this approach feels shit, resulting in shit, it doesn’t mean you did it wrong!

It simply means you’re DIFFERENT.

Stop sulking, blaming and shaming the coach.

Okay so I agree, enough already with the empty promises.

However, you’re a clever chick.


You don’t seriously believe you can sit on your ass, drink litres of sugar-laden cool drink, eat fat-dripping pizzas all day long and weigh 45 kilograms just because that’s what the advert shows.

Take responsibility for your life.

When it doesn’t work, simply go find another way with enthusiasm and excitement knowing you’re one step closer to finding the ALIGNED ENERGY for you.



(is this starting to sink in?)

So maybe you’ve been told a lot of lies your entire life by well-meaning people who were told a lot of lies by well-meaning people who were told a lot of lies.

Maybe you’re really struggling to see the difference between truth and hogwash.

Maybe you’ve just been beaten by tough life-lessons for so long you’re sitting there telling God, the stars and the ocean you JUST WANT A FUCKING BREAK!

Exhausted, head hurting, you want someone to give you the answer because you’re done trying to figure it out for yourself.

I get it.

Been there, done that, ripped off that arse-splitting g-string.

It’s been in these times that I started reaching out to the promise-makers.

Except, every time I got off a call, I would feel like a whipped pussy.

I would feel a lottle weaker.

A lottle more overwhelmed at the prospect of doing the ten thousand steps they told me was NECESSARY for me to turn it around.

Never mind the fear that clenched my butt-cheeks every time I forgot to tick a box, spiralling further down because clearly I can’t even get the basics right.

I NEVER got the promised results.


Because I’m a motherfucking artist!

I’m a creative.

One of the crazies who dare to experiment and not tremble in my boots just because I failed again.


It’s what I decided I wanted to experience and explore in this lifetime, before taking my first breath of air.

There are few coaches right now who can actually work with me.

The ones who don’t pin their self-worth on my results.

The ones who truly believe in themselves, in me, in the process.

Who stand fast in their power whilst I rant and rage and work through whatever the hell I need to work through to get to my sweet spot.

The spot where I laugh and say “Well fuck, OF COURSE!”

These coaches never promise me results.

They couldn’t be arsed to scare me.

They hold up a mirror.

They show me what they see.

They present me with opportunities of choice and then carry on with their own lives.

In short, I work with coaches who are like me.

When I say I believe in YOU, I don’t mean I believe in you as long as you ‘succeed’ right now so I can get a raving testimonial from you.

Tons of my clients only get their results down the line, after integration and growth and that’s PERFECT!

Time is an illusion and your results will always come at the RIGHT time for you.

I don’t mean I believe in you as long as you show up diligently like a well-trained monkey and do as you’re told.


I mean I believe in you UNCONDITIONALLY.

I believe that YOU are the creator of your own experience on this wonderful planet.

I believe that YOU are magic.

I believe that YOU have every answer to every question that pops up in your head.

Yes I will kick your ass every step of the way because I simply don’t have tolerance for bullshit drama in a time when the world needs you to show the fuck up as your best version self.

Because if you’re in my space,

if you’re reading my words,

if you’re watching me secretly from the safety of your bedroom,

it means that YOU have something incredible to share with the world.

Whether you’re a CEO, a cleaner, a business owner, a stay-at-home mom,

your social title doesn’t matter.

YOU matter.

Your STORY matters.

And as long as you’re sitting there waiting for a miracle, someone who needs to be inspired by you is suffering!



You can continue looking for empty promises, steps that will guarantee success, if you define success by your bank account,

but if you want to be SATISFIED, it’s time to embrace a different approach Darling.

It’s time for you to start showing up FOR yourself, AS yourself, believing IN yourself.

It’s time for you to be proud of the wo-man you are.

And if you’re at that point where you’re wanting MORE,

from your life,

from yourself,

then let’s connect.

Only death is inevitable.

Thriving is always a choice available to those who dare to be brave.

With deep love and appreciation,