How will you know what to do, if you don’t know who the hell you are?


You might have heard me say it before,

a hundred times or more,

that it’s NOT about what you’re doing,

but WHO you’re being,

that dictates your results.


But what the hell does that even mean?

And why does it scare so many people when they ask themselves the question:

Who am I?


I remember the first time I wrote it at the top of the paper.

Sat in a room full of fellow personal development junkies.

The instructions clear – you couldn’t define yourself by any title.

No saying I am a coach, or I am a mother, or anything in that line of conditioned response.


On the outside I held on to my calm demeanour.

On the inside,

I was freaking the fuck out.


I had no idea what to say,

what to write,

where to even begin!


I came to the realisation that this is a question that we’re not encouraged to explore.

As who I am,

is always different from who you are.

And if who I am is displeasing to you,

we’re told we have a problem,

as the culture of conformity demands sameness in thought, in speech, in action.

It’s what the entire system is built on,

and heaven forbid a cog should break as the whole world will come crumbling down.



billions of people are kept busy to the point of dropping dead on their way to work,

buried on the weekend so everyone can get back to their normal stations by Monday.

Running on automatic,

just going through the daily motions without much thought or presence,

they wonder why their lives are void of true fulfilment,

why they’re so fucking tired




why they’re shouting at the kids and then feeling bad afterwards,

why they’re cheating on their spouses and then feeling bad afterwards,

why they’re drinking away their sorrows and then feeling bad afterwards?


What if…

all this shit is happening,

because it’s time for us to slow the fuck down,

and figure out the important stuff FIRST,

before lifting a single finger in action?


What if…

all of the chaos caused by the continuous shaming and blaming,

is simply a symptom of people living in denial of their internal battle,

the puss of resentment oozing out,

every time they see another ballsy enough to be happy,

to be different,

to be liberated from the social expectations,

which in my not so humble opinion is mostly boring AF.


What if…

you actually stopped taking action for the sake of taking action,

and instead,

you took all the time you needed to figure out who the hell you desire to be first.

And yes,

I did just say


as quite frankly Gorgeous,

you can be whoever the hell you want to be.


You can be wickedly sexy.

You can be provocative in your speech.

You can be liberated from social decorum.

You can be happy.

You can be free.

You can be magnetic.

You can be prolifically creative.

You can be saturated in love.


Because once you know who you desire to be,

the experience that you desire to have next in this magnificent life,

you will KNOW EXACTLY which actions to take,

to receive that which you truly want.


I call it the CAA methodology to creating your THRIVE.

I even drew a picture for you:



Yip, I’m not JUST a pretty face LOL.


Since I doubt you will choose to be exhausted,

or choose to be jealous,

or choose to be resentful,

or choose to be an asshole,

I mean,

you could,

maybe you want to,

that’s perfect too as I do believe in freedom of choice,

and your decisions don’t impact me,

as I get to stay connected to MY decisions,

but since I doubt you will,

you will find that most of what you’re doing now,

is taking you in the wrong direction

and you will

STOP doing that shit!


Do yourself a favour and do a quick check-in right now:

if you were completely honest with yourself,

and if you were to close your eyes and FEEL into your body,

your mind,

your heart,

who are you being???


Are you being fabulous, creative, sexy, delightful?

Then open your eyes and keep doing what you’re doing Darling.

Are you being an angry, exhausted, resentful, stale old vanilla wafer?

Then seriously,

what the fuck?

Don’t you understand that THIS is your current choice through your current actions and that no matter HOW MUCH more action you take,

you’re simply creating more of this?


Everything comes down to who you are BEING.


and now

and now.


It is dynamic,


and perfect.


It’s time Darling,

for you to question,

to ask the dreaded WHY,

the most powerful question in the world,

and the ONE question we’re not encouraged to ask!!


And then,

if you’re actually one of the very few people committed to true thrive,

from a space of radical self-acceptance, self-appreciation, and self-love,

it’s time to choose differently…


Only death is inevitable.

Thriving is always the choice of the Alpha Female.


Live with honour,




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