18 kilometres down.
4 to go.
I start picking up the pace.
Renewed energy flowing through my veins.
OMG I’m actually fucking doing it!
I’m going to rock another kilometre on to the distance from last week,
in the same time.
Which in and of itself is a bloody miracle,
considering I’m not training for any races at the moment.
I simply started running 3 weeks ago.
Only running once a week.
In the worst conditions imaginable.
In that instance, I remembered a time,
actually not so long ago,
when running 21 kilometres seemed completely impossible for me!
I could hardly cope with 2 kilometres when I first started.
I used to watch those competing at half-marathons,
and then quickly putting them onto a pedestal,
as an elite breed of humanity,
not the same as little ole me.
I have to also truthfully tell you that running has never been ‘fun’ for me.
With the out-of-place bone in my hip,
it HURTS like a mother.
My entire body seems to revolt against the movement.
once I desired to be an IronMan,
that was it!
I simply CHOSE to love running.
I CHOSE to love the pain.
I CHOSE to love the journey of mind-fuckery each time I go out.
As I turned the door handle,
the fitness app made her announcement,
stating the fact that I had just completed a 22 kilometre run.
If I wasn’t hurting so much, I would have done a headstand of joy!
Instead, I made my recovery shake, and danced sitting on the couch LOL.
Here’s what I want you to know today:
We all have those areas in our lives,
hell, if you’re truly honest with yourself it’s probably multiple areas,
where there’s a deep seated desire,
a little saliva drips down your chin as you witness others doing it,
that you don’t believe you can be, do or have.
In our egos attempt to save face,
we make up conditions and excuses as to why we’re different,
our circumstances don’t allow for us to be that person,
so that we don’t have to put ourselves in the game,
don’t have to risk failure,
falling on our arses,
looking like a fool!
Nobody likes looking like an idiot.
Few will actually decide to go with the feeling of exhilaration,
excitement swirling with fear,
as they say HELL YES to an opportunity to FINALLY go for it.
instead of taking action,
they take a breath to consider what they’ve just said yes to,
and immediately self-doubt takes over.
How do they save face?
It’s been my observation that this is where most run to another for protection from themselves.
Those they love who will observe the tremble of lips,
the slight nervous twitch of the eye,
Their parent, partner, designated saviour, will simply point out every sensible reason why this would be a mistake.
THANK THE GODS – YOU’RE OFF THE HOOK.
And you didn’t even know you wanted to be,
because this entire process happens sub-consciously.
Understand this: Soul will always want expansion for you.
Everyone else will always want safety for you. It’s human nature.
Plus, they know best and help you remember your past mistakes and your prevalent limitations and tendency to make hasty decisions,
SO THAT you won’t fuck up again.
Hey, if that’s how you choose to live your life,
within the confinements of another’s limitations,
then by all means,
Personally, I have no wish to play it safe.
Even way back when I was married,
I would make up my own mind on those issues which my SOUL commanded I say YES to.
The most insane,
the most liberating,
the most freeing events that would transform me,
change the projected course of my life,
put into place all that was required for me to do my purpose work.
I choose to apologise rather than ask permission.
I remember the day I became an IronMan.
It wasn’t when I crossed the finish line.
I was sitting at my dining room table in Randpark Ridge, Johannesburg.
The sun shining brightly,
our crazy dogs barking outside.
Jono had sent me a mysterious email simply stating ‘WATCH THIS’ with a link to YouTube.
I was captivated by the unfolding MAGNIFICENCE of humans being IRON!
My entire being LIT THE FUCK UP.
There was such an expansion in my energy,
sweat dripping off my sides,
and I knew,
this was a non-negotiable for me.
I WAS BORN TO BE AN IRONMAN!
I searched IronMan South Africa, and there it was!
Only a few months away.
Probably not enough time to get ready.
Considering, I couldn’t swim – and it was a 3.8 km swim.
Considering, I’d never run further than 10 kms – and it was a 42.2 km run to the finish line.
I could RIDE a bike like a mofo.
I BELIEVED IN MYSELF.
I didn’t bother looking at the criteria,
couldn’t give a damn about what it would entail,
I simply filled out the online application form,
pulled out my bank card,
made the payment,
and then ran to the bathroom as I literally shat myself.
I phoned my husband and told him that I had just entered a race neither one of us had heard of before.
Make no mistake my Darling,
the path to the finish line was GRUESOME.
Time and again people told me it would be okay to quit.
That it made sense to walk away.
They wouldn’t think any less of me.
‘I tried – that’s all that matters.’
I could have chosen to listen to reason.
I could have chosen to ask for a refund.
I could have chosen to believe the doctors.
I could have chosen to feel guilty for being the inconsiderate and bad mother others accused me of being.
I could have dragged up all my past failures and mistakes as proof of my inability to plan properly.
I could have.
I KEPT SHOWING UP.
For every training session.
Tons ending in tears.
Some littered with vomit along the way.
Regardless of how impossible it seemed.
Every IronMan athlete knows –
IMPOSSIBLE IS NOTHING!
It says I’M Possible.
Not you’re possible.
For if I don’t believe, I WON’T!
You have to fucking BELIEVE in yourself.
You have to start making your OWN decisions and then STAND BY THEM.
You will need that CONVICTION along the way.
Because NOBODY else will EVER know what is possible for you,
and as long you play it safe,
neither will YOU.
Consistency is key.
Determination is a non-negotiable.
Failure is part of the success.
Ego has no place at your table.
Naysayers, your fuel.
It’s YOUR life.
YOUR choices to make.
Understanding that your soul will NEVER EVER EVER show you anything that’s unavailable to you.
you have to say
I’ve come to understand it’s NEVER about the opportunity or thing in and of itself.
It’s about who we become in the process,
through our choices.
Every decision you make you’re either telling yourself that you truly have what it takes,
Everything feels hard in the beginning.
Even making the challenging decisions.
Even standing strong in the face of those who want to save you from your insane tendency to embark on big journeys before thinking it through.
if you want to find all the reasons it’s not a good idea,
you’ll go fabricate that shit.
If you desire to create evidence of your badassery,
you’ll make that as well.
Everything that once seemed impossible will be your new normal if…
Well, I could tell you what it is for me.
What is it for you?
Only death is inevitable.
Thriving is the choice of those who believe in themselves.
Live with honour.
PS: The Alpha Coach Apprenticeship starts TODAY!
It’s not about the certification.
It’s not about building your empire.
It’s ABSOLUTELY about who you will become on the journey.
It’s ABSOLUTELY about saying YES to your purpose.
It’s ABSOLUTELY about believing in yourself.
Decision time Darling – message me for details.