Is Achievement simply another Addiction?

Can’t
Be
Fucked

doing any of DA THINGS

even though I love doing them.

I’m relishing in the energy of my
Wee Rebel Without A Cause,
the one who rarely makes her appearance,
and the really funny part is
my son just confessed to feeling the exact same way.

And
OF COURSE
he feels exactly the same.

After all,
I set the TONE in our home
and he adjusts to find
resonance.

Back to Wee Rebel,
and why I’m allowing her to run the show right now.

Yesterday’s MasterMind call
was mind-shattering
heart-opening
as I allowed the message to flow through
not only for my clients
but also for myself.

The realisation
that we are conditioned to believe we have to ACHIEVE RESULTS to be successful,
except
most of what we’re applauded for as success right now
is MASSIVE failure as human beings.
A way to escape sorting out our shit.
A way to hide the degree to which we despise ourselves.
In the process,
we leave behind a path of destruction
of what actually matters in life:

The Bond Of Love

  • with ourselves, with our inner being, with our Creator, with our significant others, with our families, with Life and All Living Beings.

There was a time when I had to schedule in toilet breaks
because “If it’s not in the calendar it doesn’t get done”.
When my life was at the pinnacle of insanity,
training up to 8 hours a day
whilst running two businesses
and raising kids
and being married,
I was the most admired by others.

Looking back
what I know is that THIS ‘life-style’ of the high achiever was simply:

  • me loathing myself, committed to exhausting myself every day, filling up my head-space with mantras and affirmations so I wouldn’t hear the voice whispering WTF?;
  • me not wanting to deal with the pain inside so I caused greater pain in my body to distract myself;
  • me being desperately unhappy in my marriage but I felt trapped so I escaped ‘making money’ which would keep him and everyone else off my back;
  • me being terrified of motherhood as I grew up an A-student yet there’s nobody teaching us how to be A-grade mothers and I felt completely out of my depth and ran away on my bike and to my work.

The ‘clever’ part of this is that society sees nothing wrong with this picture,
yet I was condemning him for his addictions which, looking back, all came down to the same thing.
Difference is:
High Achievers get a pat on the back,
Addicts get a cold shoulder.

Ouch.

Which had me pausing and asking myself:
What if Achievement, the way it’s being done right now,
is nothing more than another addiction?
Another form of escapism?

Just as the addict goes through withdrawal when kicking the habit, achievers go through depression when they don’t have the next big goal.
As the addict becomes dependent on the stimulation, the achiever takes on their achievements as identity on which their EVERYTHING relies.

Now before you get your panties in a knot,
I’m not saying that we should sit on our butts all day doing nothing,
I’m not saying all high achievers are addicts and you should walk around pointing finger at every ‘successful’ person,
and I’m sure as hell not going to take your sense of achievement away from you,
I’m simply creating a space for much needed introspection
as so many women have become addicted to achievement
in an attempt to prove their worth
as a way of hiding their terror of not knowing
as a means of escaping the broken and often painful relationships
as a socially accepted excuse not to deal with the inside
as an applauded form of self-hurting.

In the process
The Bond Of Love
keeps weakening
until finally
they sit home alone with nobody around them
bitterness sets in
feeling abandoned
still not realising
that the external emptiness
started with self-abandonment.

No shaming,
No blaming,
Just compassionate awareness for the purpose of healing.

Personally, this realisation created so much FREEDOM for me,
and yes I DO bring a truck-load of compassion to myself,
as I can now enjoy achievement for the sake of achievment
and not all the other shit.

Some food for thought…

Death might be inevitable,
thrive is still available through conscious choice.

Live with honour,
Anel.