Is it true that our goals start holding us back in life?

‘Is it true that our goals start holding us back in life?’

This was an actual question asked by an actual human being.


Todays piece is not for you if you want to continue setting ‘safe’ goals.

It’s not for you if you want to defend the choices which has you asking bullshit questions such as the one above.

It’s definitely NOT for you if you want to just have enough, do enough, to pay the bills, to get to the end of the year holiday, and do it all again next year.

I’m not talking to you.


I’m only talking to the hungry.

Those who have been sitting in the classroom of life, learning the hard-knocks, enduring the internal struggle between what they TRULY desire, and what they think they’re allowed to have.

I BELIEVE in goals!

They continue to drive my arse.

They continue to transform me, my life, my purpose.

That doesn’t come from setting mediocre goals my friend.

In fact,

I CHOKE on mediocrity.

Every time I get caught up in the ridiculous ‘truth’ of others of what is and is not possible for me, what is and is not responsible of me, I feel my soul shrink up and die!


The goals that has me breaking out in a cold sweat,

the ones that has me trembling with adrenaline pumping through my veins,

tears secretly forming on the inside the only visible sign of my true fear,

these are the ONLY goals I commit to.

They are the ones where I say YES before thinking it through.

Because they are directly from my soul.

She knows…

She knows where I need to grow.

She knows where I’m not showing up in my full capacity.

She knows where I am squatting under a glass ceiling manufactured by my mind and it’s time to smash it to smithereens.

And she knows EXACTLY when it’s time.

When I’m dragging my feet at a slower pace.

Going through the motions, but lacking the emotive drive behind my actions.

Let’s just be very clear that goals has NOTHING to do with ticking boxes.

It’s not about crossing the finish line so others can applaud you.

It’s not about the little children.

The goals that I refer to, the ones I set, they’re PERSONAL.

They are only about growth.

Everything else, is simply trimmings.

How on earth can these goals EVER start holding you back in life?

So here’s some of my personal criteria for my goals.

Some will resonate.

Some will trigger.

What you do with it is up to you my friend.

All I’m saying is time is running out for all of us.

We’re not born with an expiration date tattooed on the bottom of our feet.

So why the hell are we holding back?

 1.  My goals come to me unexpectedly.

I never think about my goals.  I don’t go looking for them.

They are primal, they are guided, they appear when my soul is ready for them to appear, as if by magic.

Someone will say a word and my heart stops beating.  I’ll see a video and my mouth starts salivating.  My pen will flow over the page and I will step out of the way and see what appears, eyes wide open.

2.  I’m NEVER ready for my goals.

I have NO FUCKING CLUE how I’m going to achieve them.  I don’t even wonder anymore.  I don’t see a dream and press pause so that I can figure out the how.

They’re always way above my current abilities.

They’re always way bigger than I thought I would ever go.

I don’t care anymore.

I simply commit.

That’s it.

And I know, because I’m a woman of my word, that once I’ve committed, once I’ve said YES to my soul, it’s a fucking done deal.

Death Before DNF.

3.  If I don’t need to bring in the big guns, it’s not my goal to set.

My goals require support.  They require guidance.  They require expertise which I don’t have.

All of my goals require mentors and coaches.

If I can figure it out myself, if I have the TIME to figure it out myself, it’s a sub-par goal.

Walk away.

My goals require full commitment from me.  Like a jealous lover they take up my resources, my time, my focus, my energy.

They demand that I invest heavily in them, thereby investing heavily in myself.

When I hear people set goals and then say they’ll do it on their own, I know they’re still playing small.

4.  My goals demand sacrifice.

Everything is energy.

Everything vibrates on a certain level.

Including me.

Whatever is currently in my surroundings, is a complimentary vibration to me.

My goals, aren’t.

They vibrate on a higher level and in order for me to rise to their frequency, I have to be wiling to sacrifice all that is on my current vibration.

Lower vibrating thoughts.

Lower vibrating beliefs.

Lower vibrating ideas.

Lower vibrating food.

Lower vibrating relationships.

Lower vibrating clothes.

You think it doesn’t matter.  You think you can get away by holding on to a couple of things.

You can’t.

This is exactly why my goals demand sacrifice.

Letting go is almost always filled with some measure of sorrow.

It’s always filled with a good dose of fear.

I’ve discovered that I love certainty in life.  Which is exactly why I have such strict routines.  Which is why I hold on to things way too long.

It took me years to acknowledge to myself that I find change and unpredictability scary.

It took me a day to reframe that shit for myself to change equals adventure.

And we both know Momma LOVES adventures!

This has definitely changed my approach to releasing that which no longer serves me.  But don’t ever think I’m the cold-hearted, inconsiderate bitch they say I am.  It still hurts like a motherfucker.

People are the hardest to leave behind.

Yet I choose to believe that those who TRULY desire to play in my space, will go do their own work to rise with me.

As for the rest, I respect their journey.

Freedom of choice Darling.

5.  My goals don’t allow for days off.

My goals are big and complex and they require me to break them down into smaller parts, setting sub-goals, and then doing the work every single day.

Even today.

When the weather has turned to custard.

Pouring rain.

Howling wind.

And I have to go ride.

Because I’m racing on Sunday.

And even though it’s a Mickey Mouse race, a category C, it’s the first step on the journey to my category A race in 2020.

Everything counts.

It’s not about missing a session, it’s about what missing a session says about me.

It says I’m a pussy.

It says I’m unreliable.

It says I’m not the person required to cross the ultimate finish line.

It says that I don’t keep my word to myself and for me, that’s simply not an option.

I decided a long time ago to say what I mean and to mean what I say.

Even when people don’t believe me, because mostly, they stopped believing themselves a long time ago.

My life, my responsibility, my word, my honour.

It is my opinion that as long as you’re setting your soul-called goals, they will NEVER hold you back in life.  They will always drive you forward, higher, bigger, better.

If they’re not, if they don’t require serious commitment and sacrifice and overcoming obstacles, facing your greatest fears, they’re simply not the right goals for you to be setting Darling.

Stop setting a hundred goals at once.

Stop setting the goals you can achieve on your own.

Stop setting the goals that has you showing up the same today as you did yesterday.

Stop setting the nice-to-have goals.

Stop setting the goals approved by others.

Stop setting average goals!

Or else, settle for living an average life.

It’s as simple as that.

Only death is inevitable.

Thriving is always the choice of the brave.

With love and appreciation,