Is ‘saving their feelings’ costing them their lives?


I’m feeling so much resistance to step aside after that title popped up on my screen.

Clearly, this is going to be one of those “insensitive” pieces that will probably be taken up with hatred by majority.


Except, it truly comes from love.


As I sit next to the field,

watching kids playing their hearts out,

it saddens, frustrates, PISSES ME OFF to see how severely overweight bodies are pushed to the extreme.


AS IF it’s not causing immense damage to their still developing bodies.


What grates my tits is the fact that these kids are not training as part of a well designed program,

supported by the correct nourishment and nutrition,

to create greater levels of health in their bodies.


They are shovelling sugar, saturated fats and chemicals into their mouths,

like a bulldozer clearing a path through a forest,

and then the school allows them to be part of the competitive team,

because NOT doing so would be detrimental to their ‘self-esteem’.


Plus the parents would probably sue the pants off them.


I’m not saying DON’T let kids play.

I’m saying that if a youngster TRULY DESIRES to take part in competitive sport,

support him / her in being their BEST selves doing so.

Bring on board a life coach to help them identify and change self-destructive behaviour.

Bring on board a nutritionist that sits down with the parents and designs a suitable eating plan (which includes the eating of the parents).

Bring on board a trainer that designs a plan that will build the required strength and flexibility and get them to competitive form FASTER.


Not only is this the most loving action towards their bodies,

it also teaches what it takes to create epic results.

Oh sorry,


that would mean we would actually teach our kids shit that matters in the real world such as work ethic!

It means we would actually create a culture of self-awareness, self-love, self-respect.

It means that we would actually raise standards.

It means we would say kids really CAN be anything they desire with the basics in place.


Instead, we’ve created this PC culture so that others won’t ‘feel bad‘,

literally KILLING them in the process.


You see these young kids competing at extreme levels on the field,

with morbidly obese bodies,

their faces turkey-neck red from the exertion,

and not a single fucker thinks about the stress that poor heart is under???

The fact that still forming bones are being damaged with the running???


Let’s not even mention the fact that we’re TEACHING them that being fat is an easy card to play in life.

You don’t have to work as hard as the skinny kids.

You don’t have to show the same level of skill and dedication.

You just have to keep eating more and you’re guaranteed a place because otherwise you can say they’re discriminating against you because of your weight.


Yeah, that makes perfect sense, doesn’t it?


Whenever a client shows sabotaging behaviour,

my first question is:

“What is the benefit you receive from doing this?”

Automatic response – “NOTHING!  It’s destructive!”

Yet, 100% of the time when we dig deep, it’s there.

Either they receive a ‘Get out of jail for free‘ card,

not having to take responsibility,

or they get sympathy from others,

or they get excused from the path of pain they leave in their wake.


We have created a culture that REWARDS self-destruction.


This piece is not just about kids and I’m not picking on fat people.

It’s simply front of mind after the game yesterday.


We create all these ‘nice’ words and phrases so that people will feel better about their shit choices in life.

Nobody wants to be the bitch that holds up a mirror and make them see PAST their rose-coloured glasses on the bigger impact.

Nobody wants to be the dick that calls a spade a spade because you would rather have them continue their self-destructive behaviour than rip off that plaster, hurting like a mother for a moment, SO THAT they can wake up and PAY ATTENTION.


We say people are overweight.

NO – you’re FAT and you are killing yourself with every mouth-full of poison you take.

We say people are depressed.

NO – you’re SUPPRESSING YOUR TRUTH and it’s time for you to find the courage to speak up.


We say people are functioning alcoholics.

NO – you’re a DRUNK and your behaviour behind closed doors is atrocious.

We say people are addicted to video games.

NO – you’re a COWARD not wanting to sort out the shit in your real life.


I KNOW, it sucks to hear it.

It feels HORRIBLE.

And most will read this or hear this and they will say ‘FUCK YOU ANEL’ and keep doing what they’re doing.


I want you to know that I’m human too.

I do shit too.

I make stupid choices too.

A lot!

I simply learned to have the courage to have these conversations with myself and call myself out

BECAUSE I LOVE MYSELF and I have no desire to go too far down Shit Street again.

I’ve done that before.

I know where it leads to.

It’s UGLY!


So if I have to be the rudest bitch on the face of the planet today,

and it results in ONE person finally getting real with themselves,

and turn it around,

then it’s worth all the hate-mail I’ll most likely be receiving.


Because I BELIEVE that every person has what it takes to be extraordinary.

Because I BELIEVE in the power inside of you.




We are all gifted free will,

conscious thought,


from which to create our individual lives.


Your emotions WILL NOT KILL YOU.

Your dumbass choices and behaviours WILL.


My invitation to you today is to join me in sitting down and writing down all your triggers from this piece.

Yes, I’m going to do it too!

To take a step away and look at the bigger picture.

If what I wrote really IS from a space of love,

what are you willing to see now that you weren’t willing to see before?

The behaviours, the pay-offs, the ripple effects.

In your own life?

In the lives of your family?

In the lives of your friends?

In the lives of your team?


And if it upsets you as much as this upsets me,

ask yourself,

how can YOU do it better?

how can YOU be better?


Because ultimately that’s ALL we can do.

That’s ALL that is required from us to do.


It’s about taking FULL responsibility for ourselves and BE the change we desire to see in the world.


Hardest thing to do my friend.

So much easier to ‘fix’ everyone else.


Will you do it?


Only death is inevitable.

Thriving is always the choice of the brave.


Live with honour.



PS:  Coaching truly is for the brave.  It’s about creating a powerful space for introspection, reclaiming, rising.  If you’re an aspiring coach, and you want to make an informed decision on whether or not professional coaching is the right career path for you, or if you simply desire more clarity on what coaching is, check out this Free Coaching Demystified Video Series I’ve created especially for you.