I’ve been at this for more than an hour.
Three blogs written.
All three deleted.
I feel like a petulant two year old ready to throw her toys out of the cot.
It’s a rare thing for me to find myself in this space.
But I’m here and it’s real.
I don’t WANT to write today.
I don’t WANT to tell you anything.
I don’t WANT to show up.
I don’t WANT to share a piece of me.
that means ‘they’ win today.
Those continuously trolling the internet,
waiting to pounce and misconstrue everything and anything creators, writers, artists, contributors,
share with the world.
They will not win today.
So this piece is for every woman out there,
NOT showing the fuck up,
because she’s exhausted from constantly defending and explaining herself,
because she’s had enough of the hurtful insults,
because she thinks it has nothing to do with them,
and everything to do with the fact that she’s not good enough.
you’re not alone.
And it’s time for you to HTFU,
to set yourself up for success,
by allowing yourself to connect to the untamed beast within.
We’re constantly encouraged to be more visible,
to be more vulnerable,
to be more courageous and speak our truth.
those who encourage us are rarely on the field.
It’s so easy to cheer from the bleachers.
It’s so easy to criticise from the sidelines.
It’s so fucking easy
when it’s not YOUR skin in the game.
Not only do they want you on the stage,
pretty tutu hypnotising them with blinking sequence,
they want to believe the illusion of weightless and effortless grace.
Whilst your skin is ripped,
another nail falling off.
But you show up,
and you smile,
for your art.
You simply CAN’T do this shit for the audience.
You CAN’T do this for ANYONE other than yourself.
Because if you do
you will find yourself run out of passion,
out of motivation,
out of love with the art.
Why am I writing today?
Because I made a promise to myself,
to my muse,
that I will show up RELENTLESSLY
every single day
regardless of my circumstances
regardless of how I feel
and I am a woman of my word.
No other reason needed.
It’s this level of commitment
that I bring to every area of my life.
Which is why I don’t allow the layout of the journey to phase me.
I prepare for it.
I train for it.
On my bike.
On my runs.
I put myself in physical positions of fear and fury
and I harness the energy to get me through the toughest of situations.
To get me back home.
Even after vomiting and passing out next to the road.
Even after sobbing uncontrollably to release the pent-up terror I’ve held in check to keep moving forward.
Even after going through the moments when I acknowledge that I’ve bitten off more than I can chew.
Wondering how the fuck I’m going to survive this one.
Except, there’s never a back-up.
There’s never a plan B.
I have not given myself any options other than to keep going.
It’s time Alpha,
for you to start training your body
as the warrior you are
you can have an indestructible mind.
It’s time Alpha,
for you to stop listening to the haters and the nay-sayers,
to shut out the noise,
to find the silence
in the zone.
You find the zone
by training your body and then translating the skill into business.
It’s time Alpha,
for you to stop seeking approval,
to stop asking for permission,
and then buy into the bullshit that we as women have to fight for equality.
We ARE equal.
The ONLY way we can feel anything less than,
is from INSIDE of us.
And until women stop showing up as inferior to men,
until women stop acting as though they are weaker than men,
women will always have a chip on their shoulders.
The same goes for men by the way.
We’re all created equal Gorgeous.
Inequality comes from the stories we tell.
Who will you let win today?
Because you promised yourself that THIS is going to be your year.
Because you promised yourself that 2019 IS the year when you break through your fear-laced barriers.
Because you promised yourself that this IS your time now,
and you will take the next step courageously NOW.
Or will you let them win?
Will you let the tall poppies win who stomp down everything and everyone around them so they don’t have to grow?
Will you let the trolls win who pump up their own egos by insulting others so they won’t have to face themselves in the mirror?
Will you let the copy-cats win who don’t have the discipline to create an original body of work?
Who will you let win TODAY?
Knowing that tomorrow will bring another opportunity to choose.
So if you’re really just feeling too weak to rise today,
and choose again tomorrow.
Just know that for you to start winning,
you have to start approaching life differently.
For if you’re constantly allowing yourself to lose the battle today,
and you don’t have a different plan for tomorrow,
you’re simply setting yourself up for failure.
That’s all I have to say today.
May she land where she’s meant to.
Death is inevitable.
Thrive happens one choice at a time.
Live with honour,
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Grab all the details and I’ll see you in the Facebook Group later today xx