As the wind continues to sweep lightly across my face
I feel radiant!
The single tracks providing no end of deliciousness,
from overgrown grass that has me twisting and turning like a teeny tot,
to unexpected puddles of mud splashing my legs, my face, my arms.
I can’t remember a time that I’ve felt more alive or more beautiful.
Which is ironic considering I’m not wearing a lick of make-up, my hair is in a messy ponytail and none of my clothes matches in colour.
Not so long ago my mom made the comment what a blessing it is that I’m not too pretty.
She felt that this made me more relatable to most women,
At the time I completely agreed with her.
I used to hate seeing myself captured by a photo.
I would cringe past the mirror in the morning until I’ve done my hair and put on my war-paint.
Yet, after my profound discovery that I was not loveable by another until I could love myself,
and I made the commitment to become the object of my affection,
the reflection started taking on a new shape.
Where my mouth used to be set in hard determination,
she now softens with laughter almost always bubbling behind my lips.
Where my eyes used to be turned down,
the light behind my lashes hardly bright enough to see in the daytime,
they are now wide open,
sparkling with the captivating secrets held in my mind.
Where my posture used to be caved in,
closing myself off in protective stance from all the painful relationships I held on to for dear life,
I now walk proud and confident.
Accepting, appreciating and loving the woman I choose to be every day.
It should not have come as a surprise when
a few weeks ago
my mom paused in our conversation exclaiming that I have physically transformed,
and that I am beautiful!
I agree 😉
Oh, I am not everyone’s idea of beauty or even attractiveness,
and thank fuck for that.
I think if we all had the same template of what beauty is, the Universe would be churning us out from a factory.
What I do believe FOR SURE
is that this life was never meant to be one of constant suffering and self-rejection.
Yet so often we get caught up with social expectations and mass defining of core elements of our lives,
which goes in direct contradiction of what life presents us,
causing untold amounts of pain.
Isn’t it about time that we bring about a self-thinking revolution???
One where we start questioning the stories we were raised with and asking ourselves if it feels GOOD?
One where we start looking in the mirror,
in our hearts,
and asking ourselves if the choices we’re currently making feels FABULOUS?
Because if your current approach to life is one where you simply can’t win,
where you feel like a complete failure regardless of what’s going on,
where you feel like a hostage,
or just completely fucked over by life,
hunney it’s time for you to start thinking differently!
NOTHING is set in stone by the way.
Not even my face!
Your entire life experience is derived from the stories you’re telling yourself from one moment to the next.
As always being transparent,
my thoughts used to stink like a blocked sewege drain!
I used to think the only way for me to get up in the morning,
is to make shit EVEN HARDER in areas that I thought I had control in,
just to make the pain in the areas where I felt like a victim more bearable.
Needless to say,
I lived in so much pain,
both emotionally and physically,
that I had not only lost my fear of death,
I eagerly awaited it.
I achieved and produced some impressive shit.
My results by any social standard, bloody awesome.
But was I THRIVING?
For me personally, NOTHING beats joy when it comes to a life of success and satisfaction.
And joy is a choice!
It’s waking each morning and immediately pushing your awareness to the elements that bring delight.
It’s sitting with your journal and setting the intention to find things that makes you happy everywhere you go.
It’s about sometimes experiencing the opposite,
and instead of getting stuck in rage and being disgruntled,
dropping into gratitude for the contrast
before turning your mind to something that feels better.
I don’t care what’s happening in your life right now,
I acknowledge and honour that for a lot of people
life is feeling challenging in the extreme right now,
but I promise you that the moment you start questioning and reframing important things in a way that feels more aligned to who you truly are,
life keeps getting better and better.
For the love of twinkle toes
stop thinking there’s something wrong with you because nothing seems to work the way everyone says it does,
or that you’re not happy even though you’re living an Instagram-perfect life.
It works for those who are doing it in a way that feels good for them to believe it will work.
I often wonder what people would do and think if there was nobody else to tell that what to do and think.
Would they just go and sit on the ground,
dumb-struck and helpless?
As I head out to the wilderness for a weekend of connection with me, myself and nature,
I invite you to create some time and space for yourself
in your life that’s not feeling good right now.
why isn’t it feeling great?
What would you have to think or believe for it to feel better?
choose to think THAT!
The only reason you wouldn’t give yourself permission to do so is because you’re more worried about what others think about you than your happiness.
Life is way too short and precious to continue existing in a state of constant misery because of what others think about you.
they’re going to think about you whatever they want to think about you depending on where they find themselves in their journeys. I’m sorry to tell you, but what you do and say actually matters jack shit in what they choose to think about you.
Death is inevitable,
thriving is always a choice available to you.
Live with honour and badassery,
PS: Last chance to join us in Clearance2Clarity.
putting more frosting on the cake is NOT going to give you a oooh so delicious life experience,
when the batter is rotten.
C2C is a four week journey of increasing your confidence, releasing that which no longer alignes, reconnecting to your inherent super powers, from where you remember who you truly are and own what you truly desire.
Find the details at https://anelbester.com/c2c/ and if you know it’s time to clear, release and travel with a lightness in your step, it will be my privilege to guide you on the way.