When I first heard that we all have two main driving forces – getting away from pain and heading towards pleasure – I thought, how wonderful and simple.
To have a phenomenally happy life all I needed to do was identify what causes me pain and run the fuck away from it and pinpoint what will bring me joy and chase that.
Well kinda, but it goes deeper than that.
What I discovered is that I can’t run away from the actual thing which causes me pain aka the stories I tell myself about people, about things, about life.
I also can’t cross an actual finish line and all of a sudden find I’m happy. For joy is a feeling and as with any emotion it’s internal based on the stories I choose to tell myself about people, about things, about life.
For the longest time I fell into the same trap I see so many others stuck in – I made my happiness dependent on other people and things and as that’s impossible, I was in perpetual misery.
So I would use substances to dull the pain of the story in my head of how it’s never enough which means I’m not enough, which means I’m worthless. And of course I would attract every asshole in a fifty kilometre radius to confirm the bullshit.
I started over drinking, over eating, over training, anything and everything that was socially acceptable to some extend.
I went from being critically emancipated to a fat bitch with rolls hanging over the top of my jeans to skeletally thin to chubby cheeked.
Sunday I would be fall down drunk puking my lungs out and Monday I would write the exams to get the acclaimed honours degree.
I would set the goals that I believed would make me happy as it would provide social recognition and what could possibly be better than having the social noddy badge of success?
The husband, the kids, the house, the business, the sporty red car, the degrees, the dogs, the cats, the hamsters which got eaten by the cats, the fish which got eaten by the cats, the holidays.
Ticked the boxes
When you abandon your truth, you personal values, your love for self, you’re miserable AF.
You might tell yourself it’s not that bad, but if you’re not happy, you’re sad.
There’s no middle ground.
There’s no grey area.
If you feel like there is – that you’re neither here nor there – you’re simply drifting in the hypnosis of existence.
For me existence is worse than death.
It’s mind numbing pain that cuts your soul to shreds.
Been there, done that, flushed that toilet.
Instead I choose thrive.
Thrive means that you nourish your body so that she feels on fire with passion and sensual energy and creativity and exuberance and mobility.
Thrive means that you take hold of your mind and you choose what you believe in a way that empowers you and has you living your best version self.
Thrive means that you recognise the power of your soul and allowing her full expression of her potential by getting out of your own way and letting the art through.
The art that you’re here to create.
The art that is pounding in your heart, begging for release, for holding it in becomes unbearable and your soul will only tolerate it for so long before brining you to your goddamned knees so you will bow down to the power that is you!
It is only in the release of your potential that you will ever find true happiness.
When you recognise the bullshit and choose consciously what you think.
And in order for you to start steering your ship you HAVE to start becoming aware of what you’re saying.
To yourself when you think nobody is listening.
To yourself when you’re not even listening.
Your words are your wand and everything that you choose to form with letters you choose to form in your material experience.
So if you’re continuously telling yourself that your boss is a doos, you will always experience him as such.
If you’re continuously telling yourself that you’ll be unhappy, unworthy, unloved until you become rich, you will always experience yourself as unhappy, unworthy and unloved regardless of how much money you have in your bank account.
If you’re continuously telling yourself that nothing will ever change until it changes but you don’t take different action, you will always experience nothing changing. Except it is! For nothing stays static. Which means even when you think it’s remaining the same it’s fucking deteriorating! Without expansion there is only death.
Which all comes down to the truth that you can’t move away from pain or towards pleasure.
What you can do is to start identifying the stories that you’re telling yourself and feel into which ones cause you pain and which cause you pleasure.
Change your stories and you will change your experience of life!
Does this mean that you will stay in the miserable job, the passionless relationship, the out-of-shape body?
Of course not!
Your natural state is thrive and when you start aligning your thoughts with joy, your actions automatically changes and so does your results.
Your external world is simply a reflection of your internal world.
So if you think your life stinks it’s because your thoughts are shit.
If you think life is box of chocolates you know that your thoughts are setting you up for a good time so you want to think more of those!
And life is about continuous expansion.
Which means the more you thrive, the more you want to thrive!
The more you thrive, the more humanity thrives!
But it’s the choice and responsibility of every single person to wake up!
To fight for their lives by questioning the voices in their heads.
The values handed down to them by an outdated system.
The senseless pursuit of external happiness.
It’s time to stop fooling yourself Darling and to take a good hard look in the mirror.
Are you happy?
I mean really happy?
With who you are?
With the choices you’re making in life?
With your relationships?
With your vocation?
With your body?
All of it counts.
And if you’re not happy, own up to the fact that it means you’re sad.
Own the fact that sad is a choice and ask yourself why are you choosing to be sad right now?
Why are you choosing to play that broken record of stories which bring you pain?
Why are you choosing to be a victim to bullshit?
Make no mistake – being a victim is way easier than being a warrior. Victims get Molly-coddled. Victims get sympathy. Victims get saved by Prince Charming except Prince C is a codependent narcissist who will continue your story of despair.
I spent many years in the guise of a victim.
Sucked the fucking life out of me.
Today I choose to be a warrior!
I choose to bleed for my art.
I choose to rise and continue the fight.
I choose to be aligned with my truth.
I dictate the story in my head.
And my story brings me joy.
Death is inevitable.
You can choose to thrive until then.
With love always,
PS: Mindset is everything!
That is because your mindset dictates your beliefs, your emotions, your actions, your results.
Whether you’re ready for a change in your physical body, your relationships, your wealth or your business, it all starts with mindset.
It starts with unearthing that which is in your subconscious so you can choose to release what no longer serves you.
It’s about learning how to install the beliefs that will support you in creating your dream life AND being happy on the journey to your destination.
Thrive is a choice my clients make because being miserable brings no measure of true expansion and my clients are the leaders, creatives and achievers who are on a mission of living iconic lives.
Lives of legacy.
Lives creating more abundance for all.
Lives of passion.
Lives of purpose.
If you’re ready to choose thrive then book your consult today and let the games begin.
But only if you’re serious about being the captain of your ship.