When it feels like you’re losing your fucking mind…

We, my friend, are living in interesting times.

A time when more and more light workers have agreed to awaken to their purpose.

A purpose which we all agreed to before we were born in human form.

Somewhere between then and now, we also chose to forget all of this.

A little moronic if you ask me.

Because what happens when you go  to sleep to who you truly are in this world, you get put in the most uncomfortable little square box that simply cannot contain all that you are, so you selectively start disowning parts of yourself in a desperate effort to fit in with expectations of those you love and admire.

You start cutting off minuscule pieces so that you can fit a little better thereby making you more ‘perfect’.

You start swallowing your truth more and more so your voice will be more pleasing to those around you.

A horrendous process of mutilation of self.

What seems to make this even more challenging is our soul choice of receiving our greatest learning through the most confusing of relationships which cut us to the bone.

Relationships forged on ‘love’ which creates the perfectly fermented ground for rot.

Relationships which society tells us we have to stay in until the day we die because we are ‘blood’, or we took vows, or we have a soul connection, or heaven forbid, we signed a contract.

So you start building this hard protective layer around you because you figure that as long as you have this exoskeleton, your soft insides will be okay.

But she’s not.

All that happens is that your soul starts fighting against you because she wants to get to work.

She wants to see the light of day.

She desires to be happy and live joyfully because she understands that when she does, when you do, the entire planet receives healing.

Even the dicks who are seemingly too lazy to do any of the healing for themselves.

But let’s not talk about them today, because today is about you.

It’s been my experience that when I told my soul to stay in her little box, to keep quiet because she kept getting me into trouble, to just please go away, the pain inside of me became unbearable.

And the pain on the inside was continuously reflected by the pain on the outside.

At first I told myself if I just lived under the radar long enough all the monsters would forget that I even existed, and so they would stop hurting me.  Breaking me.

That didn’t work.

For the hunger of the beast is insatiable.

And once we’ve asked another soul to assist in our awakening they’re relentless!

Every time I thought I had become small enough I would either attract another monster with the same lesson, or the slumbering beast would startle awake and whip my ass back to the floor.

I felt as though I was going insane.

I was hurting so much I just wanted it to stop.

I wanted to take that bottle of pills and go to sleep and never wake up.

Except my soul wasn’t done.

Rebellious and powerful little warrior, my soul.

You see my Darling, I now understand that for those of us who chose to come to this planet at this time as light workers, there’s two birthings.

The first is when we come out of our mothers, all pink and perfect and squealing and pooping.

The second is when the hard shell of protection we built up around us to contain our truth, our brilliance, our passion, our joy, finally cracks open and we either choose to rise and start living the lives we truly desire,

OR

we kill our souls by giving away all our inherent powers to some unsuspecting soul which is really selfish of us.

You know what I’m talking about.

This is where we choose to live in enslavement for the rest of our lives using so much bullshit excuses to keep ourselves small we could build an entire village of poop houses.

We use our kids, our spouses, our mortgage, our ageing parents, our car repayments, our bank balance, whatever.

I also know from experience that when that shell starts cracking open you HAVE to reach out and accept help!

I don’t know a single great light worker who does it on their own.

We all surround ourselves with our peers, our coaches, our teachers because well, we simply don’t have the time to fart-ass around and try and remember it all by ourselves.

And also because when you crack open, you are lonely as can be.

You doubt yourself all the time and think maybe you’ve lost the plot because you’re not like everyone else around you.

You want to scream every time someone wants to talk about some mundane shit with you.

Large crowds drain you with the energy of the sick, the hurting, the abused, the abusers, the addicted.

You find yourself at a party with a drink in your hand nodding amicably at the stranger in front of you whilst in your head you’re screaming “Get me the fuck out of here!”  And it’s only 8 pm.

So you start thinking there’s something wrong with you.  Your spouse confirms that on a regular basis “Why do you have to be so weird?  Why can’t you just be like all the other wives?”

PMSL

Because I’ll never be like all the other wives Darling!

I’m me.

All of me.

I’m unique.

I’m a part of the Source that is part of you which means that we are one but we’re seperate.

I chose to break open the shell and leave it behind and I ain’t never going back into another one.

Society can call me whatever the hell it wants to.

I’m just going to call myself Love.

For that is who I truly am.  Not the codependent bullshit love that the ego has created.

I’m done with that.

I’m talking true love.

Where I love myself enough to spread my wings.

Love where I focus on me, my healing, my joy, my passion, my purpose.

Love where I work with those that I agreed to lead before coming to this time and dimension.

How about you my friend?

Have you had enough of feeling the insanity of your trapped soul dying to escape?

Have you had enough of feeling like a freak in a community who simply don’t understand you and more important, have you had enough of pretending that you’re the same as the sheople?

There comes a time when you have to choose – are you going to finally breathe in your truth and your power and get out of that fucking shell?

Or not?

Because free will means it’s always your choice.

All I ask is that you please love yourself enough to find a soul that will guide you on this new path.  Preferably a bunch of them.  For we all bring something unique to this time.

You are so worth it Darling.

Please stop the insanity of hiding your brilliance from us.

Please stop with the excuses because I promise you you won’t be able to keep up the deceit for much longer.

Inauthenticity is being eradicated in the lives of the light workers.

We got away with it for a long time, but not anymore.

Stop the hurt.

Stop the suffocation of your soul.

Death is inevitable.  Thriving is a choice.

With love eternal,

An(g)el

PS:  Is this piece resonating strongly with you today?  Do you feel like it was written just for you?  It probably was.  I’ve learned that we live in a truly loving Universe where our helpers and guides connect us with everyone and everything that we require to live our life purpose.  But I’ve also realised that help is a two-way street.  On the one hand it is offered, on the other it has to be accepted.  Way too few people are accepting.  Instead they are waiting for the BIG sign, for the miracle to occur.  They feel once THAT happens they will take the next step forward.  If that is you, I’m not speaking to you.  Instead I’m speaking to those who are ready to bring hope to a world breaking apart, those who are ready to bring healing to a world that is hurting.  Those are ready to do that by bringing change and healing to themselves first.  The courageous who are scared shitless but still choosing to stand up.  The leaders who understand they don’t need an official title to forge a new path.  Artists who simply refuse to hide their talent under the bucket a moment longer for they know their art brings joy.  If that’s you, and you know in your heart that you’re ready to accept support from an ass-kicker who will keep you focused and moving forward even when you feel like sitting down and giving me the finger, then let’s connect.  Book your free coaching consult here.