It’s kinda irritating at times,
contrary to popular belief,
I’m still human.
Which means that I’m not exempt from the full spectrum of human emotions.
As I look around at the watered down expressions of the masses,
I suspect, probably more than most.
I simply choose thrive as my default,
in the zone Baby.
Which means on the days that I feel ‘off’,
when I catch myself feeling low,
in the dreaded funk,
my first reaction is complete surprise and disbelief.
“What the fuck?”
reverberating through my head.
In years gone by,
I used to luxuriate in a whirlpool of depression.
Wallowing in the warm depths,
feeling oh so sorry for myself.
Looking around at everyone and everything in my life that wasn’t,
and then blaming them all for my current feelings of victimhood and disempowerment.
Of course the Universe would oblige by amplifying current conditions and behaviours,
resulting in loud wails on the bathroom floor,
and the bedroom floor,
and my office floor.
Shit, I didn’t really care which floor I found myself on.
It was an ugly sight to behold my friend.
Eventually I’d reached a point where, in all honesty,
I ran out of people to blame.
So I turned on myself.
I shamed myself into a 6 foot grave of mere existence.
CLEARLY the reason I was in such a downward spiral was because I was not good enough.
I wasn’t pretty enough.
I wasn’t smart enough.
I wasn’t rich enough.
I wasn’t skinny enough.
My arse wasn’t round enough.
OMG, you name it, I shamed it.
Finding myself sitting on a cold white toilet seat mindlessly staring at bottle of sleeping pills in my hand.
What the fuck?!
It was the wake-up call that I needed.
The first step on a long journey,
and I won’t bore you with the details today.
But I want you to know that from that point forward,
I made a decision that my pity-parties would be kept to a minimum.
Back then I would book out entire DAYS to wallow in misery.
Ice-cream tubs, chocolate slabs, chicks flicks, tissues.
The novelty soon worn off, and I felt bored with this idolised hormonal process.
Plus I would end up feeling so physically ill from all the sugar that I didn’t want a repeat performance too often.
I discovered the powerful shift available in physical exertion.
I’m talking moving your body until your muscles ache and sweat burns the shit out of your eyes.
Shortened pity parties would be interrupted by a swift self-kick up my arse which saw me out training.
But all of this was still tedious and I felt that it was ultimately a waste of my time!
I couldn’t help but feel that I was missing something important.
Why else would I find myself in the same spot so frequently?
Nothing truly shifted until I made the decision to take
No longer was there a person alive that I would blame.
And after a committed process of falling in love with myself,
I mean seriously,
have you met me?
Why wouldn’t I love myself?
I finally dropped the shame.
Not that I wouldn’t mind my buttocks to sit a little higher at this stage of the fight,
as stated before,
I’m sill human.
I’ve come to understand that the ‘funk’
is nothing more than my higher self slapping my face to pay attention!
That I’ve removed myself from my own flow.
That I’ve allowed shitty thoughts to infiltrate my mind,
slowly poisoning my core belief.
You know what I’m talking about –
when you’re grafting like a mofo and still,
it just doesn’t seem to be coming together.
At the outset you’re all
HELL YEAH THIS IS A NO BRAINER!
overflowing with excitement.
You sit there looking at the numbers thinking
‘what the hell is wrong with these people??
Why are they not jumping at the opportunity?’
Disbelief starts colouring the energy of your actions.
Where at first there was excitement,
there’s now a tinge of desperation,
and of course,
the results-needle stubbornly refuses to move.
Now your ego starts having a field day!
Doubt starts creeping in.
Maybe this is the wrong thing after all.
Maybe you misheard the voice inside.
Slowly but surely you pull up the hand-break.
Wishing you could turn back time.
Before you know it,
you’re sitting there.
Staring at nothing.
Fuckity Fuck Fuck Fuck.
You’re not alone!
I suspect if you could have a dollar for every time that an entrepreneur hit this exact same spot,
you would be a multi-billionaire.
it’s just part of this incredible journey we’ve chosen the day we opened the doors to our business.
Now listen up because I’m only going to say this once:
STOP FEELING SORRY FOR YOURSELF!
You simply don’t have the luxury to piss away your days anymore.
I’ve learned to catch myself SUPER fast,
by constantly checking in on myself.
How am I feeling right now?
And the moment I get that weird sensation where my energy is out of sync,
I grab my journal.
I drop into appreciation:
“Thank you Self for getting my attention.
I’m willing to see.
Why am I feeling this way?
What am I not seeing?”
And I allow EVERYTHING to come out.
All the thoughts of doubt and fear (which by the way is an indication that I’m growing in faith).
All the places and spaces where I’ve been pushing instead of creating from Soul (which is an indication that I’m opening up my capacity to receive).
All the areas where I’ve settled for less than FUCKING FABULOUS! (Yip, I have already uplevelled on the inside wooohooooo!)
It flows onto the pages and most of the time I’m a little incredulous at what comes out.
Sneaky little ego bitch,
almost got me that time around LOL.
I put on some of my favourite tunes – one of my go-to’s being Eminem Till I Collapse
And then I either get my bike and ride out my demons,
or I pull up my laptop,
and I create from deep within me.
Unleashing my art,
allowing the poison to bleed out through my fingers,
until I am cleansed of my own bullshit.
Where months used to pass before shifting my arse,
it now takes a couple of hours,
WITH a creative outcome.
So you’re sitting there wondering what is my cure to the funk?
we don’t want everyone to know,
My cure for the dreaded funk is –
your commitment to your thrive.
That’s it Darling.
You simply have to be committed to living your life in such a way that you’re at your best.
Willing to pay attention to your emotions.
Willing to see that which you’ve not been ready to see before.
Willing to release all that no longer serves you.
Willing to have faith regardless of the current conditions.
Willing to believe in yourself and that every desire in your heart is given to you.
What is the alternative?
Feeling like shit for prolonged periods of time?
Giving away your power and lose out all the opportunities that already exist today?
Creating more chaos?
What the fuck?!
Only death is inevitable Darling.
Thriving, is always a choice available to the brave.
With deep love and appreciation for you,
PS: You are not alone.
Mindset, Business $ Money is for the purpose-driven entrepreneur committed to success.
This is where beautiful minds and relentless determination comes together
for those who choose to receive support, accountability, and insight like never before.
If you’re done suffering in silence,
if you’re done suffering full stop,
pm me for details.