It’s either all of you, or not love at all.

It’s kinda fucked-up, isn’t it?

How we’re living in a time of deprivation underwritten by martyrdom.


Men and women believing sacrificing their true desires, will somehow lead to happiness.

Bloated with bullshit beliefs and thoughts,

of how they are not good enough,

how there will never be enough for everyone,

how they have to suffer for reward.


Personally, I think we might as well do away with any form of punishment by another,

as people are doing it so well to themselves.

And quite frankly,

none of it is warranted.


Good god woman,

what will it take for you to see just how absolutely gorgeous you are?

Right down to your pinkie toe.

If you would just give yourself permission to thrive,

you will no longer require diets or chemicals to be in perfect shape,

for it’s only through the idea that we have to sacrifice anything,

that we gorge on everything.

If you would allow yourself to create the empire that’s in your heart,

becoming unavailable for gossip-mongering and the constant bitching and moaning so prevalent around the kitchen counter,

you will find that your excitement levels go through the roof.

If you would honour your sexuality by educating yourself and your daughters of the absolute bliss available to us in our bodies,

by learning how she loves to be touched,

without shame,

by learning how she loves to move,

without restriction,

you will no longer feel dissatisfied in the physical union with your lover,

as you will be confident in showing him the map to your pleasure zone,

and he will worship you for the gift of your liberated, orgasmic self.


Darling man,

when will you take that heavy yoke off your shoulders,

believing that you have to save every damsel in distress,

bring home the bacon,

to a house full of ungrateful leaches,

sucking the soul out of you?

If you would just give yourself permission to be your best version self,

keeping that delicious body of yours in superb shape through physical exertion and nourishment that titivates your taste-buds,

keeping your mind sharp and stimulated by surrounding yourself with legends and true leaders,

keeping your sex-drive insatiable for pleasure by not only studying the object of your desire, but your own erogenous zones and untold bliss of deep connection,

and bring that to your woman in an empowered partnership,

you won’t have any need to escape your daily life through alcohol, drugs or an alternative reality that has you feeling like a ‘real man’,

for your actual life will surpass your fantasies.


Sound like a dream?


Well Huney,

I believe this is the birth-right of every human being.


You have to wonder who decided to take us down the road of suffering in the first place…

And yes,

we’re appreciative of the asswipe,

as s/he played the role in creating brilliant contrast of what it feels like when we live out of alignment.


But enough already.




There’s a change in the direction of the wind,

and right now, more and more people are recognising the stench of mediocrity.

The first step is actually waking the fuck up and realising that the brown stuff you’re sucking on,

is not chocolate.

The second step,

is to spit it out!



you’ve been taught it’s impolite to spit.

Regardless of how bad it tastes.

It will hurt someone’s feelings,

which would make you an inconsiderate bitch,

so best you just swallow.


Leaving you feeling more sick than ever before.

So you come to the conclusion,

it’s best to just keep sucking on the shit,

Because it might taste bad,

but at least you didn’t want to throw up.



Do you see the predicament of the sheople?


Quite frankly Darling,

I’m on a mission to get as many people as possible to become





To give them the space to spit that shit out,

and instead of them being berated,

having them celebrated.


I’m taking a stand for YOU being so FULL OF YOURSELF

that there’s zero space for codependency.


I’m here to challenge you to be your BEST version self,

and then,

if you choose to be in a partnership,

only be available to be with someone who you feel is ten steps ahead,

thereby inspiring you to keep growing,

keep raising the bar for yourself,

whilst they do the same.

THIS in my book, is LOVE.


The idea that love is about protecting the other person,

is fucking disgusting.

What an insult.

‘Oh, look at poor you,

don’t worry little broken bird,

I will fix you.’


Fuck off!


The idea that love is about completing another person,

is nauseating.

For you to complete them,

you have to take something that is already whole and perfect,

punch holes in,

so you can wedge your incomplete and broken self in there.



You call this love?


I’m going to challenge the fuck out of you today…


You tell me that you love them.

You tell me that they love you.

But let me ask you this:

Are you being your absolute gloriously whole and best self?

Is that what you’re bringing to others?

Or are you still buying into the belief that love = sacrifice = martyrdom = you compromising =you being a shadow of your true self?



let me just take a dump on your front lawn,

and call that love,

as I’m fertilising the ground.


True love and connection is simply not possible from a space of self-depreciation.

It’s simply not possible from a space of you abandoning parts of you that’s not pleasing to another.

It’s simply not possible if you don’t madly love yourself.


And why wouldn’t you?

The only reason you don’t like yourself very much,

is you’re not being ALL of you.


This is my invitation to the Alphas of the world,

you know who you are:

bring back love,

by loving yourself.


I would love to see all of you.

Your absolute best self.

Your thriving self.










and this part is going to feel SERIOUSLY HARD,

leave behind all of those who choose to remain the same.

It’s not your responsibility to convince anyone else to love themselves.

It’s not your responsibility to carry those who do not desire to believe in themselves,

who don’t desire to choose love and health and thrive,

and staying with them,

is not love,

for either of you.


It would be like having your head in the oven,

then trying to convince me you love yourself completely,

so you’re just going to burn yourself alive.


Alphas don’t rescue.

Alphas don’t help.

Alphas empower.

Alphas love.





Only death of the human body is inevitable.

Thriving is the choice of Alphas.


Live with honour,


PS:  Time is Running Out!

Where are you holding yourself back from thrive?!

Nothing brings me greater joy than empowering women like you to break through those god-awful glass ceilings holding you smaller than you KNOW you were born to be.

And I’ll let you in on a little secret – it’s not hard, it’s not a fight, and no self-sacrifice is required.

90 minutes TRANSFORMS lives!

I’ll hand you the sledgehammer with which to smash through with:

  • An intake questionnaire to get clear on the values that’s probably keeping you in a cycle of self-sabotage and BS stories making you feel less than magnificent; and
  • 90 minute 1:1 session with me that you’ll never forget


You’ll walk away with

  • Clarity on exactly what you will create next, why you’ll create is, and who you will be as the powerful creator of life on your terms;
  • Perspective shifts and solutions to problems like:
    • Taking control of your emotions, fears and frustrations
    • Radical self-acceptance, self-appreciation and self-respect
    • Refocusing energy on what truly matters
    • Being the empowered, important and incredible woman you’ve always wanted to be.


Truth and transformation is yours for the taking. Details at Locked In


Are you actually ready for a fuck yes life?

I can’t stop smiling.

It’s ridiculous.

The energy coursing through my body feels like Christmas lights in full glory.


Can you believe that a mere nine months ago I was at rock bottom of my thrive?


When you’re lying on wet grass in an isolated park, sobbing your heart out,

because you’re so unhappy you don’t know if you’ll ever smile again,

it’s ugly…


My business was rocking it out.

I had more friends than ever before.

My body healthy and fit.


two kids,

two dogs,

the suburban dream…


Or in my case,

fucking nightmare!


Filled with shame for my permanent state of ungratefulness and resentment.

To most, I had it all.

My then husband, a successful professional,



My boys,


let’s just say they are the pride of my being.

Living in an idyllic part of one of the most beautiful countries,

everything that I had asked for.



for me,

living a life of captivity,

playing by the social rules of what a good woman looks like,

sounds like,

walks like,

beds like,

was absolute torture.


It took me 19 years to finally admit to myself,

never mind anyone else,

that I HATE being married.

I detest playing by any rules.

Shit, I don’t even understand the requirement for rules.

If people just stopped being assholes we wouldn’t need rules and a button to block on social media.


OMG – did I just write that out loud?

Yes I did Darling.

Because, I understand that for most those wedding bells is the sweetest sound on the face of the earth.

That nothing fills them with more delight than coming home to their partner each day.

That they feel complete with their picture-perfect family.

I understand that the masses believe that we are born fucked-up, broken and evil,

and that it’s up to the responsible Big Brothers to keep us in line.




I, on the other hand,

and maybe you can secretly relate,

want my bed for myself.

I don’t want to stand in a line,

I want to shamelessly dance wherever I find myself at the moment.

I don’t want to smile sweetly,

I want to howl loud and proud whenever joy overflows.

I don’t want to walk,

I want to confidently STRUT because taking up space is my birthright.

I desire to have my castle

my rules

my time

my creative space.




Selfish Alpha Bitch Supreme.


And it’s not about making my desires right and anyone else’s wrong!

It’s about making our desires right for US and not having to be ashamed of it, because it’s different.


I am OBSESSED with my purpose work,

always have been.


as long as I was hiding behind the tailcoats of my fear,

terrified of being abandoned,

horrified at the prospect of being cast out,

I was toeing the line of the change I desire to be.



On my own terms.


Oh make no mistake,

I adore men.

I’m just not particularly fond of all the bottle-feeding 40 year olds, who seem to have forgotten to grow up.

Peter Pans’ flying around in playstation land, bore me to tears.

Falling apart under the stress of daily life because they’re soft AF.

Poking you on Facebook. Ugh.

Saying “hi” because they’ve not learned how to have an intelligent conversation with a woman.  Yawn.

Boys can go play with their little tantrum-throwing princesses, who will wash their clothes and make their meals, and then bitch to the sisterhood of how unhappy they are, taken for granted, yet saturated in codependency, god forbid they should actually take a stand for their thrive.


I adore the men with self-respect.

Men with self-worth.

Men with honour.

Those with purpose who don’t waste the time of a woman on a mission.

Those who understand that to be in the life of a woman of worth is NEVER to be taken for granted.

That they will continuously be required to step the fuck up,

as Alpha women, NEVER stay the same.


We continuously evolve.

We continuously grow.

We continuously break down the barriers within our own minds of what is and is not possible for us.

We continuously get ostracised by the sisterhood.

Lone wolf, Baby.

And happily so.


So how do you go from lying on the grass bawling your eyes out,

to skipping under the stars,

radiating smile giving the light of the full moon a run for her money?


You fucking DECIDE to make it your most important MISSION in life to fall in love with YOURSELF.


You give yourself permission to walk away from EVERYTHING that feels like a carrot up your arse.

You give yourself permission to rid your space of all that feels low vibrational.

You give yourself permission to break down.

You give yourself permission to be abandoned by everyone.

You give yourself permission to fuck-up a lot

You give yourself permission to take up all the space and time you need.

You give yourself permission to heal.

You give yourself permission to remember.

You give yourself permission to wake up to a FUCK YES life.


What’s really incredible to me,

is that it only took nine months for me to be reborn!


Phoenix rising out of the ashes Darling,

And honestly,

it’s possible for ANYONE!

I don’t care how far down the rabbit hole you feel today.

I don’t care how much shit is hitting the fan right now.

I don’t care when last you’ve had cause to smile.



and when you JUST LET GO of all the BULLSHIT in your mind that has you struggling,

you SLIDE into it.


But you have to first DECIDE to fall in love with your true self!!!

You have to Darling.


I have soooooo much exciting new work coming through,

I can’t WAIT to share it with you.

It’s going to be a FUCK YES to your soul,

if you’re an Alpha Female.

If you’re done being imprisoned by rules of long-dead men.

If you’re done lying to yourself and everyone else about what makes you happy.

If you’re ready to be free.


Only death is inevitable.

Thriving is the choice of those ready to say FUCK YES to life.


Live with honour,



PS:  Your success gives me a lifegasm!

One of my favorite past-times is having 90 minute powerful conversations with women that gets them from being a pallbearer at their business’s funeral to slapping its ass and making it cry (new baby style).

Fine lines and wrinkles?  This quick call is like Botox for your blemished soul.

All jokes aside, the beauty and brevity of our call means I don’t have time to buy into bullshit or coddle you back into your comfort zone.

BS blasting happens via:

  • An intake questionnaire to get clear on your values and your goals so we tighten them up, align them and create your success avatar
  • 90 minute 1:1 session with me

And you’ll strut away with tools to:

  • Get very clear about your true desires and why this is non-negotiable for you
  • Perspective shifts and solutions to problems like:
    • Taking control of your emotions, fears and frustrations
    • Improving self-care without guilt
    • Refocusing energy on what truly matters
    • Being the empowered, important and incredible woman you’ve always wanted to be.

Truth and transformation is yours for the taking.


Details at

Ever considered it’s the rules and strategies screwing you over?

This piece is NOT for the mundanes.

NOT for the ordinary people who desire ordinary lives.

NOT for those who want to play it safe,

build a nest egg,

and listen to the tick-tock of their lives going by.


As I’m preparing for my training in the Mindset, Business & Money Evolution today,

I’m thinking of ALL the rules and strategies that I’ve learned over the years,

of how business ‘works’,

how money ‘works’,

how life ‘works’.


And for some,

all of these rules, regulations and strategies,

provide the safe-haven within which they feel good to play,

like a toddler requires the confines of the nunu-pool to have fun.


Not us.


for us,

all these rules,


strategies and lists,

not only feels suffocating and constricting,

it literally dries up our creativity!


Like a stressed-out pussy needs fabric-produced lube to get going,

alphas attempting to live within the confinements of man-rules,

when we’re born to be wild, independent and free,

require booze,



just to get through another day.


And then you want to convince me you’re happy living in the safety of the white-picket prison.

Whatever Buttercup.


Here’s what I know for sure as I sit sweating buckets of excitement:

You’re either living a FUCK YES life,

or you’re existing.

You’re either waking each morning,

feeling completely turned on,

sighing yes, yes yeeeeeees,

or you’re lying there dreading the coming hours till you can crawl back to sleep.

You’re either an alpha,

or you’re just part of the pack,

here to follow and obey.


If you’re the latter,

just go follow someone else.

I don’t speak your language

and what I share, will grate your tits.


I’m talking to the leaders.

Those who desire a life of thrive.

Those who know they are here to create Empires of IMPACT.




if you need rules to be a person of integrity and honour,

you’re just being a dick.

For us, there are no rules.

We are guided from within.

We are bound be a deep sense of love,

a sense of fulfilment,

a sense of honour.

That’s simply part of the alpha DNA.

Rules don’t allow for creativity.

Rules don’t allow for iconic adventures.

Rules don’t allow us to suck the marrow out of the expression of life available to us every second of the day.



I know I know,

they’re working for others,

obviously getting results,

and if you apply yourself diligently,

you get some measure of results as well.


But does it feel orgasmic Darling?

Or is it feeling like a struggle?

Are you constantly learning new shit only to feel an even bigger fuck-up?

Are you continuously jumping from one guru to the next only to feel more and more stuck?

Like a tortoise moving through molasses,

you’ll eventually come to a stand-still,



wading through all the bullshit in your mind!





I’m going to let you in on a little secret,

and it’s just between the two of us…


It all comes down to one thing:



The reason some people just create the most incredulous results,

breaking records,

doing that which has never been done before,

is because they believe they will.


It’s not the ACTION they take,

it’s the ENERGY they bring,

through conviction and absolute faith.


They can teach you every single step they took,

and for the beta’s,

here to replicate,

it works,

because they believe in the alpha so much,

their faith comes through their results.


Which is why it works for thousands of others.

Because they’re NOT alphas!


Do you get this???

Because if you don’t,

you’re either NOT an alpha,

in which case just own that for yourself and be a happy packer,

or you’re not ready to step up and BE who you came here to be.

And I get that too.

Took me a LONG time.

Then just be accepting of that,

instead of beating yourself over the head all the time.

It’s counter-productive and it’s impossible to create thrive from a space of self-loathing.


Here’s my invitation to you today,

and as always,

only do this if it feels good and aligned:

Write down ALL the rules you believe will create success in your life.

All the rules regarding what it takes to build a successful business.

All the rules regarding what it takes to have a successful profession.

All the rules regarding what it takes to have a successful relationship.

All the rules regarding what it takes to have a healthy, fabulous, gorgeous body.

All the rules regarding what it takes to connect to a higher power.


Are you done?

How many pages have you filled?

How do you feel when you look at all those rules?

Read them out loud to yourself.

How does it feel hearing the sound of your words?


If it feels amazing,





You’re either an alpha who have made up your own rules,

or you’re part of the pack!


But if it feels like shit,

if acid bile is rising in your throat,

if you want to just RAGE,

then know this:

it’s fucking time you wake up, stand up, and

be the ALPHA you’re born to be.


Take those pages,

rip them up,

in fact, burn those fuckers,

and then sit down with a blank page and write at the top:



And go for it.

Write your own rules into the fabric of the universe and command it be so.


THIS is the way of the Alpha.


Only death is inevitable.

Thriving is the choice of alphas breaking the rules.


Live with honour,


PS:  Your success gives me a lifegasm!

One of my favorite past-times is having 90 minute powerful conversations with women that gets them from being a pallbearer at their business’s funeral to slapping its ass and making it cry (new baby style).

Fine lines and wrinkles?  This quick call is like Botox for your blemished soul.

All jokes aside, the beauty and brevity of our call means I don’t have time to buy into bullshit or coddle you back into your comfort zone.

BS blasting happens via:

  • An intake questionnaire to get clear on your values and your goals so we tighten them up, align them and create your success avatar
  • 90 minute 1:1 session with me

And you’ll strut away with tools to:

  • Get very clear about your true desires and why this is non-negotiable for you
  • Perspective shifts and solutions to problems like:
    • Taking control of your emotions, fears and frustrations
    • Improving self-care without guilt
    • Refocusing energy on what truly matters
    • Being the empowered, important and incredible woman you’ve always wanted to be.

Truth and transformation is yours for $500


Details at

Keep your diamonds Darling, I’ll take the stars!

4:30 am.

My first steps out of my front door has me pause,

looking up at the night skies,




Where’s my stars?

This is simply unacceptable.


Since starting my Appreciation Walks a few weeks ago,

one of my favourite parts, has been the stars.

Some mornings I look up and there’s gazillions!

Breathtakingly beautiful in their abundance.

Giving me perspective of just how bountiful this universe truly is.

Even when we’re not paying attention.

Even when we’re not looking up.

Other mornings I spot but a hand-full.

Dropping me deeper into appreciation for each.

Knowing that for Source,

the individual is a precious,

as perfect,

as the galaxy.


Yet this morning,

there was naught…


I started walking,

deciding that I could pout and go back inside,

or I could march into the darkness,

drink in the new experience,

knowing that only I can determine the level of satisfaction,

regardless of the circumstances.


This my Darling Friend,

is freedom.


I think back on my life,

how imprisoned I felt.

Suffocating in the social structures and institutions,

which has others feeling safe.

For me,

a wild, defiant, creative, passionate, independent, rebellious woman,

it felt like my hands were bound behind my back,

my mouth taped shut,

my legs kicked out from under me.

Hardly surviving.

I prayed for death most days.


Sounds melodramatic?

Believe me, it wasn’t at the time.

Few will ever understand.

After all, the system is designed for the masses!

Those happy enough to replicate and imitate.

Those who believe they require another to feel complete, useful and appreciated.

Its fear-laced beliefs require the illusion of protection.

Not understanding that this way of thinking,

is exactly what keeps them separated from the freedom all say they desire.


But let me ask you,


Do you truly desire freedom?

With every breath you take?

To the point that you become obsessed with an insatiable hunger for it?

Or do you THINK you want freedom because that’s what everyone’s talking about?

For your first steps into freedom will always feel scary AF.

So used to the safety of our prison walls,

we really have no idea what lies hidden in the big abyss.

And for most, this uncertainty is too much,

preferring the devil they know to the devil they don’t.


Kinda like when people believed the earth was flat.

That if you kept walking you would eventually fall off into god knows what.

So every time they got to a mountain or a space shrouded in mist and mystery,

they would turn around.

Kinda like death,

which we’re taught to fear,

because we don’t know what’s waiting for us on the other side.


according to most,

what’s waiting for me, is fire!


What if I told you that your freedom has NOTHING to do with your external environment?

What if I told you that your imprisonment,

and therefor your freedom,

lies in your mind??


Would you believe me?

Or would you think it’s bullshit,

because you can’t possibly be in a prison camp

and be free.


Or can you?


For when we look at the difference between those who perish and those who come out stronger,

we find it’s in the way they think.


It’s when we master our thinking, that we can finally choose our emotions.

We can use all that has been gifted to us,

our story-telling abilities,

to create our experience,



I was on a call with a client yesterday.

As we discussed her business and what she wants to achieve, I noticed that her reason for every desire was fear-based.

It felt shit.



She was stressed out.



Taking relentless action every single day,

as if the sharks were closing in and they were about to come in for the kill.



I know for sure that our desires are gifted to us for a GOOD reason.

I have a belief that our desires are the desires of the Universe,

and the Universe has no intention of being eaten up alive.


Yet her story was old,

and it was very convincing to her.


I listened to her impassioned retelling,

paused for a moment,

and then asked her:

“Does this feel good to you?

Does this feel fun?

Are you having fun in your business?

Are you even having fun in your life?”


Shocked silence.

“But Anel, if I’m having fun, I’m not working, and if I don’t work hard, I’ll never be successful, and then I won’t have the money to have fun.”


Yip – I used to think the same.


suffering will NEVER get you to a point of joy.


30 minutes later,

she was bouncing with excitement,

renewed energy,

massive creativity,

flowing through her every cell,

simply by choosing to question her beliefs,

shift her focus,

and tell a new story.




Five minutes into my walk the stars came out.

At first there was but one,

but since I’d continued to look up in anticipation of always having my desires met,

I spotted her immediately.

My smile broadened.


More and more stars came out of their hiding place,

as if they’d simply been playing a game with me.


Such is life.

A game.

With all of creation lovingly playing with us.

The moment we choose freedom, we can start having fun with it.


Give me stars above diamonds any day.

For it’s in the looking up at the sky that I fully connect with my inner being.

It’s in taking the time to be alone,

creating the time to slow down,

that I truly connect to my desires,

my clarity,

my freedom.


I want you to know today that, your freedom is but one thought away.

If you choose to step up and claim it.

Even though it feels scary.

Even though you have no idea what will unfold from that.


For me,

it was magic.

It was liberating myself from fear and toxins and misery.

It was connecting with my twin flame.

It is waking up in joy, not depression.

It is creating from a space of love, not need.


Only death is inevitable.

Thriving is the choice of those brave enough to live free.


Live with honour,



PS:  Your success gives me a lifegasm!

One of my favorite past-times is having 90 minute powerful conversations with women that gets them from being a pallbearer at their business’s funeral to slapping its ass and making it cry (new baby style).

Fine lines and wrinkles?  This quick call is like Botox for your blemished soul.

All jokes aside, the beauty and brevity of our call means I don’t have time to buy into bullshit or coddle you back into your comfort zone.

BS blasting happens via:

  • An intake questionnaire to get clear on your values and your goals so we tighten them up, align them and create your success avatar
  • 90 minute 1:1 session with me

And you’ll strut away with tools to:

  • Get very clear about your true desires and why this is non-negotiable for you
  • Perspective shifts and solutions to problems like:
    • Taking control of your emotions, fears and frustrations
    • Improving self-care without guilt
    • Refocusing energy on what truly matters
    • Being the empowered, important and incredible woman you’ve always wanted to be.

Truth and transformation is yours for $500


Details at



When you’re ready to reclaim all of you – #RiseAlpha

Holy SHIT,

What a FABULOUS time to be alive!


A time of change.

A time of chaos.

A time of re-awakening.



Are you paying attention darling?

Are you waking in the morning,

checking in with yourself,

pushing out your tentacles of consciousness,

connecting with the vibrational charge of emotion within?


Because they’re your clues.

To how far off the path you might have stumbled.

In your attempt to belong.

Believing that you’re loveable, as long as you are loved by another.


Have you noticed how their levels of love for you constantly fluctuate?

One day they love you wild,

the next they want you tame.

One day they love you loud,

the next they tell you to be quiet.

One day they love you independent,

the next they need you to need them.

One day they love your truth,

the next they want you to swallow.



If you want obedience instead of the love of a passionate woman, go get yourself a dog.


Which is why,

for the love of pumpkin pie,

it’s time for you to stop believing the bullshit ideology that love has conditions or rules,

or that love is for another,

whilst you can’t stand the sight of yourself!


I want you to realise today that the ONLY reason you’re not MADLY in love with yourself,

is because you’ve ripped out pieces from your very core,

and threw it into the dirt for others to trample on.

You’ve taken all that makes you different,

deliciously unique,

your curious intricacies as a wild one,

told those parts they don’t belong in your being,

and flushed them down the toilet to Poopville.

What will it take for you to realise that you are indeed the most glorious of beings in the universe??


Every single thought,

every single emotion,

every single sway of your curvaceous hip,

every soft stroke of your delicate fingers,

every sigh of satisfaction escaping your lips,

every crows-feet tracing experience on your face.


I remember the feeling of your parts being shattered and scattered.

I remember the feeling as elevator doors close, the reflection filling you with disgust.

I remember the feeling lying on the floor,

gasping for air,

the pain excruciating,

as his words rain down on you,

of how fucked up, broken, ugly and filthy you are as a human being.


I choose to remember.

I choose to remember how easy it is to beg for forgiveness for not being pleasing enough.

I choose to remember how easy it is to crawl back into the arms of your assailant for protection.

I choose to remember the pain of peeing blood from keeping your mouth shut.

I choose to remember Darling, because it’s in my remembering that I choose LOVE.


It took me forever to understand that I can only love another when I completely love myself.

And yes,

that meant leaving everyone in my life behind,

for they had all played their valuable roles in my journey of self-abandonment.

It was simply not possible for me to reclaim all of me, in their presence.


It’s been an interesting time of exploration,

finding my long-lost and forgotten parts,

and I’m still spotting more areas where there’s a little less than all of me.

I’m a work in progress.


It’s been the most joyous of celebrations every time I reclaimed another piece of me.

I might look like a once broken vase stuck back together with glue,

there might be imperfections and lines criss-crossing my body and soul,

reminding me of all it took for me to get back to me,

but I look in the mirror,

and I see astounding beauty!


Most importantly,

I wake in JOY!

I wake in FREEDOM!

I wake in LOVE!


For the first time in my life I truly LOVE every single person who’s had an exchange with me.

Not only the ‘nice’ ones.


Especially the ones who were willing to drive me to my breaking point.

I now know this is what I desired to experience in this life.

This is what I wanted to remember.

Deep and unconditional love.

From a space of love overflowing within,

it’s impossible not to love another.


I also know that part of why I’m here is so that you don’t have to reach breaking point.

I know that I’m here to share my message with zero shame, blame or apology.

It’s time for us to stop making us wrong.

It’s time for us to stop the horrendous cycle of abuse which originates with the abuse of self.

It’s time for us to break free from codependency.

It’s about bloody time for us to reclaim ourselves.




You are not alone Darling.

You are not the only one feeling insane in the mornings,

for keeping your mouth shut,

for the suffocation you experience in mediocrity,

the oppression from conformity.


You are not alone in looking around thinking this is simply not good enough anymore.

You’re not crazy for wanting ONLY THE BEST for yourself.

You’re not wrong for wanting nothing more than to be all of  YOU.


Your time is NOW.

You are ready.


To take off the muzzle and HOWL your song of liberation.

To run FREE in the wilderness.

To RECLAIM your magnificent self.


Only death is inevitable.

Thriving is the choice of those brave enough to love themselves unconditionally.


Live with honour,




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What’s the quality of your statements to the Universe?

Can we go there?

A little beyond the academic realm.

To where your wisdom resides.


Which, I’ve found,

takes all that they tell us is TRUTH,


you know,

research shows this to be so,

and blows it to hell!


It’s no wonder that most Alphas find themselves to be lone wolves.

What we experience through our willingness to question and experiment with,

is so challenging to the collective unconscious,

the collective conscious,

the only way to hold on to the last threads of their sanity,

is to call us crazy.


Bring that white jacket Baby,

I look pretty spectacular in any colour 😉


You’ve heard me talk about vibration before.

That everything and everyone is vibrating on various levels,

from low as mud,

to high as a kite,

and everything in-between.


As I went through my Pranic training,

I was taught to see and feel energy.

High vibrational energy moves fast,

it shines,

it feels stimulating and exciting.

Low vibrational energy is sluggish,

it’s dull,

it feels heavy and thick.


High vibrational energy has me shaking my arse.

Shoulders back,

chest proud,

tummy taught,

face smiling.

Low vibrational energy has me sitting,

shoulders slumped over,

head hanging,

tummy portruding.


Look at your posture right now – which one is reflected back to you?


High vibrational food feels light,

regardless of how much I eat,

and since the nourishment value is so high,

my body desires less as she has received sufficient energy to thrive.

Low vibrational food feels heavy,

you might call it comfort food,

comforting the ache in your heart which you try and fill through your tummy.

It’s addictive AF which has you over-eating every meal.

Even though your tummy wants to explode,

there’s no nourishment and your body is STARVING.


Look at your last meal – which one is reflected back to you?


High vibrational clothes caress my skin,

like my lover’s touch,

it’s sensual and sexy.

High vibrational clothes accentuate the beauty of my shape,

and I feel like a rock star strutting into any room.

Low vibrational clothes feels scratchy,


like when that greasy man touches your arm.


It hides my shape as though I have something to be ashamed of.

It normally hangs in all the wrong places,

obscuring who I am so that I can just melt into the background.


Look at what you’re wearing right now – which one is reflected back to you?

Including your underwear.


High vibrational thinking is focussed on MORE.

How do I serve more?

How do I create more value?

How do I have more fun?

How do I take this to the next level?

It’s solution and expansive in nature.

Low vibrational thinking is fear based.

It’s focused on me and my problems.

It sees obstacles to every solution.

It’s like a soap-opera.


It has me feeling like a victim.

It has me thinking that I’m screwed over.


What are you thinking right now – is it solution or problem focussed?


High vibrational company leaves me stimulated.

It’s a coming together of inquisitive minds,

all open to provocative conversation and new ways of thinking.

I feel completely present,


and I love the free exchange of ideas, questions and introspective silence.

Low vibrational conversations is a waste of my fucking time.

They basically have nothing to say.

There’s no presence.

People desperately trying to fill the silence born out of loneliness, with mindless chatter that might as well never have taken place as I leave the conversation the same as I came into it.


Think about the last conversation you partook in – which one is reflected back to you?


I’m often accused of being rude and abrupt,

always by those with meaningless words,

not understanding that EVERYTHING matters.


Your choice of vibration is your statement of quality to the Universe.

It says who you are choosing to be every minute of every day.


Your choice of food, clothes, conversations, company, thoughts, everything,

proclaims to all and sundry that you’re a person of high vibration or low vibration.

Understanding that you will attract MORE of that,

as that is your choice.


There’s no judgement,

Free Will Cupcake.


I’m just wondering if you’re proud of who you are choosing to be?

I’m wondering if you’re happy with your life choices?


For the longest time I tried to convince myself that it didn’t matter.

That since I am a naturally positive, uplifted, high vibe person,

I could afford to surround myself with those who choose to live on a low frequency.

I told myself that I could afford to entertain those who simply wanted a little of my time,

nodding my head amicably whilst being bored out of my mind.

I thought that since my body was athletic, gorgeous, fit and healthy,

it wouldn’t matter if I wore granny panties and old track-suites.


I was WRONG!


It wasn’t until I became unavailable for low vibrational ANYTHING,

that my life transformed into one of pride, satisfaction and liberated joy.


I threw out those panties and went commando until I could afford satin and lace.

I left the toxic relationships,

I stopped wasting my time with time-wasters,

I became unavailable for anything that brought my energy down,

and I started DANCING WAY MORE!


I started taking fewer actions,

ensuring that every action I take is of high quality,

which not only meant more time availability,

but way better results,

more energy,

more creativity,

more thrive!


This is what matters!


If you’re feeling tired,



taking action from dawn to dusk and still only receiving mediocre results,



Read this article again,

from the top,

and pay attention.

Where are you currently saturated with lower vibrational energy?

Is it your food?

Your clothes?

The company you keep?

Your conversations?

Your thoughts?


Sort out that FIRST.

From THERE you ONLY take quality action

and watch what happens.


This is the way of the Alpha Darling.


Only death is inevitable.

Thriving is the choice of those who choose high vibrational living.


Live with honour,



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If you get hooked on the applause, you’re done for.

You see it happen all the time,

artists, performers, creatives, leaders,

getting addicted to public applause,



even the haters.


It’s a rush like no other.

And lethal to the muse.


As with any addiction,

it makes you vulnerable.

What was once your fuel,

becomes your Achilles heel.


When the applause dies down,

when the lights go out,

the drip removed from their arms,

they go into a downward spiral of depression,



feeling abandoned not only by their raving fans,

but by the very muse who had them rise in the first place.


For she is a woman of high worth,

and she will not be toyed with,

not by anyone.


The way I see it,  the evolution of humanity requires leaders, messengers, artists,

instigators of the next level of change.

The ‘change’,

the ‘message’,

the ‘muse of inspiration’,

floats around seeking the brave few who are willing to be the vehicle of expression.



I did say brave.

As change is uncomfortable for most,

it requires you to speak, do, create,


which will always be resisted and rejected by the masses.


She is relentless,

it is her time to come through,

and she demands articulation.

Going from soul to soul,

requesting volunteers who will stand up and speak out.


Once you say YES,

nothing less than 100% dedication will be accepted by her.


When I first embarked on this crazy journey of blogging,

I had NO idea what I was letting myself in for.

I simply remember saying YES.

I remember agreeing to let the message through,

in whichever way she comes through,

not allowing myself to sensor her,

understanding that she requires purity.


Easier said than done.

My muse is a passionate, inconsiderate, often rude little bitch.

She has a heart of gold,

yet there’s not much ‘lady’ about her.



she is the warrior on the battle ground.




Not holding back her punches.


My muse has no pretence about who she is,

she makes no apology,

she don’t clean up nice,

and she sure as FUCK won’t ask for approval.


Her message is not for those who applaud or publicly shame.

Her message is not for those who desire to be in the limelight,

posting their sales links in the comments.



she reaches through me,

to the quiet ones.

The ones shrouded in darkness,

those who lost their way,

gave away their voices,

warriors born into captivity,


and she magically weaves her song, echoing in the wilderness.

For it is the quiet ones who will rise and become the leaders they themselves seek.




Being a messenger,

a creative,

an artist,

a leader,

is a daily choice.


It is not something to be taken for granted.

Not something that once you’ve taken position,

is guaranteed.

For the moment you choose the applause,

the rush of the the bright lights,

above the purity of the muse,

she will turn her back on you and you will be done for.


Whilst applauding, they create a picture in their minds of how you fit into their world.

As long as those pictures match,

you will be their shiny hero.


humans are fickle beings.

It doesn’t take long for them to start seeking flaws,

your imperfections,

and they will turn on a dime.


They will send you sweet requests to just tone it down a little.

To dilute the message as the consistency is starting to feel uncomfortable.

Just be more of the ‘real’ you that is pleasing to them.


What will you choose?


Will you think it’s okay to take charge just a little,

that the muse won’t mind if you tweak a word here,

a letter there.

Maybe she won’t mind if you edit so that it’s easier to read.

Maybe she will agree that today they just need a little sympathy.


Never mind the woman sitting terrified in her bathroom,

head still reeling from the latest blast of insults and fists raining down on her,

crushing her soul,

bruising her body.

Praying for a word of encouragement,

that touches the part in her,

that will never be crushed.

Never mind the broken man sitting in front of his laptop,

seeking a spark of remembering,

of who he is.

Brave warrior.

Man of honour.

Badass motherfucker.



let’s just ignore the quiet ones,

so we can continue to be in the good books of those who desire to shine for the masses.




Your magnetism will slowly lose intensity.

Your energy diluted.

You will desperately start seeking new inspiration,

replicating instead of creating.

And your goose is cooked.


For the muse will not be tampered with.

It’s all or nothing Sunshine.


I made a vow for all.


So the next time you sit down to create your best work,

whether it’s a video,

or a blog,

writing a book,

presenting a class,

taking a photograph,

leading the board meeting,

ask yourself,

why the hell are you doing this?


Is it for the applause?

Is it for the approval?

Is it for the recognition?


Or are you willing to step out of the way and allow the muse to do what you agreed to let her do?


For the quiet ones.

For the ones who never raise their hands to high-five you in public.

For the ones the muse are coming through for in the first place.


This piece is for the quiet ones.

The alphas, fighting the battle of remembrance every single day.


Take courage Darling.

For I will not abandon the message.

I will not bend to their demands.

I will not gag the muse.


You are worth the fight.

You are worth my truth.


And I want you to know that you’re closer than you think to your break-through.

Keep the faith.


I know,

fuck I know,

that there are times when you think death will be easier.

I know that there are moments when you look into the mirror,

wanting to smash the reflection to smithereens.

Because it’s NOT who you are.

The tide is turning my Love.

Keep the faith.


Don’t fear the storm sweeping the world.

For she will break off the dead branches and let them be swept away,

allowing those with strong roots to grow once more.

Keep the faith.


Keep tending to yourself,

Keep tending to your roots,

Your time has come.

Your journey has prepared you for this time.

Everything that you need is now inside of you.

Time for you to break out of the brittle sack,

find your voice,

and howl your song into the night!




Only death is inevitable.

Thriving is for those brave enough to stay true to the muse.


Live with honour.



There is no PS today.


Everything that once seemed impossible will be your new normal if…

18 kilometres down.

4 to go.

I start picking up the pace.

Renewed energy flowing through my veins.


OMG I’m actually fucking doing it!

I’m going to rock another kilometre on to the distance from last week,

in the same time.


Which in and of itself is a bloody miracle,

considering I’m not training for any races at the moment.

I simply started running 3 weeks ago.

Only running once a week.

In the worst conditions imaginable.


In that instance, I remembered a time,

actually not so long ago,

when running 21 kilometres seemed completely impossible for me!



I could hardly cope with 2 kilometres when I first started.

I used to watch those competing at half-marathons,

envying them,

and then quickly putting them onto a pedestal,

as an elite breed of humanity,

not the same as little ole me.


I have to also truthfully tell you that running has never been ‘fun’ for me.

With the out-of-place bone in my hip,

it HURTS like a mother.

My entire body seems to revolt against the movement.


once I desired to be an IronMan,

that was it!

I simply CHOSE to love running.

I CHOSE to love the pain.

I CHOSE to love the journey of mind-fuckery each time I go out.


As I turned the door handle,

the fitness app made her announcement,

stating the fact that I had just completed a 22 kilometre run.


If I wasn’t hurting so much, I would have done a headstand of joy!

Instead, I made my recovery shake, and danced sitting on the couch LOL.


Here’s what I want you to know today:

We all have those areas in our lives,

hell, if you’re truly honest with yourself it’s probably multiple areas,

where there’s a deep seated desire,

a little saliva drips down your chin as you witness others doing it,

that you don’t believe you can be, do or have.


In our egos attempt to save face,

we make up conditions and excuses as to why we’re different,

our circumstances don’t allow for us to be that person,

so that we don’t have to put ourselves in the game,

don’t have to risk failure,

or worse,

falling on our arses,

looking like a fool!


Nobody likes looking like an idiot.


Few will actually decide to go with the feeling of exhilaration,

excitement swirling with fear,

as they say HELL YES to an opportunity to FINALLY go for it.


And then,

instead of taking action,

they take a breath to consider what they’ve just said yes to,

and immediately self-doubt takes over.


What now???

How do they save face?


It’s been my observation that this is where most run to another for protection from themselves.

Those they love who will observe the tremble of lips,

the slight nervous twitch of the eye,

and say


Their parent, partner, designated saviour, will simply point out every sensible reason why this would be a mistake.



And you didn’t even know you wanted to be,

because this entire process happens sub-consciously.


Understand this:  Soul will always want expansion for you.

Everyone else will always want safety for you.  It’s human nature.


Plus, they know best and help you remember your past mistakes and your prevalent limitations and tendency to make hasty decisions,

SO THAT you won’t fuck up again.


Hey, if that’s how you choose to live your life,

within the confinements of another’s limitations,

then by all means,

carry on…


Personally, I have no wish to play it safe.

Even way back when I was married,

I would make up my own mind on those issues which my SOUL commanded I say YES to.

The most insane,

the most liberating,

the most freeing events that would transform me,

change the projected course of my life,

put into place all that was required for me to do my purpose work.


I choose to apologise rather than ask permission.


I remember the day I became an IronMan.

It wasn’t when I crossed the finish line.

I was sitting at my dining room table in Randpark Ridge, Johannesburg.

The sun shining brightly,

our crazy dogs barking outside.


Jono had sent me a mysterious email simply stating ‘WATCH THIS’ with a link to YouTube.

I was captivated by the unfolding MAGNIFICENCE of humans being IRON!

My entire being LIT THE FUCK UP.

There was such an expansion in my energy,

sweat dripping off my sides,

and I knew,

this was a non-negotiable for me.




I searched IronMan South Africa, and there it was!

Only a few months away.

Probably not enough time to get ready.

Considering, I couldn’t swim – and it was a 3.8 km swim.

Considering, I’d never run further than 10 kms – and it was a 42.2 km run to the finish line.

But shit,

I could RIDE a bike like a mofo.

More importantly,



I didn’t bother looking at the criteria,

couldn’t give a damn about what it would entail,

I simply filled out the online application form,

pulled out my bank card,

made the payment,

and then ran to the bathroom as I literally shat myself.



I phoned my husband and told him that I had just entered a race neither one of us had heard of before.


Make no mistake my Darling,

the path to the finish line was GRUESOME.

Time and again people told me it would be okay to quit.

That it made sense to walk away.

They wouldn’t think any less of me.

‘I tried – that’s all that matters.’

I could have chosen to listen to reason.

I could have chosen to ask for a refund.

I could have chosen to believe the doctors.

I could have chosen to feel guilty for being the inconsiderate and bad mother others accused me of being.

I could have dragged up all my past failures and mistakes as proof of my inability to plan properly.

I could have.


I didn’t.



For every training session.

Tons ending in tears.

Some littered with vomit along the way.

Regardless of  how impossible it seemed.


Every IronMan athlete knows –


It says I’M Possible.


Not you’re possible.




For if I don’t believe, I WON’T!


You have to fucking BELIEVE in yourself.

You have to start making your OWN decisions and then STAND BY THEM.

You will need that CONVICTION along the way.

Because NOBODY else will EVER know what is possible for you,

and as long you play it safe,

neither will YOU.


Consistency is key.

Determination is a non-negotiable.

Failure is part of the success.

Ego has no place at your table.

Naysayers, your fuel.

It’s YOUR life.

YOUR choices to make.


Understanding that your soul will NEVER EVER EVER show you anything that’s unavailable to you.


you have to say







I’ve come to understand it’s NEVER about the opportunity or thing in and of itself.

It’s about who we become in the process,

through our choices.


Every decision you make you’re either telling yourself that you truly have what it takes,

or not…


Everything feels hard in the beginning.

Even making the challenging decisions.

Even standing strong in the face of those who want to save you from your insane tendency to embark on big journeys before thinking it through.


if you want to find all the reasons it’s not a good idea,

you’ll go fabricate that shit.

If you desire to create evidence of your badassery,

you’ll make that as well.


Everything that once seemed impossible will be your new normal if…


Well, I could tell you what it is for me.

What is it for you?


Only death is inevitable.

Thriving is the choice of those who believe in themselves.


Live with honour.



PS:  The Alpha Coach Apprenticeship starts TODAY!


It’s not about the certification.

It’s not about building your empire.

It’s ABSOLUTELY about who you will become on the journey.

It’s ABSOLUTELY about saying YES to your purpose.

It’s ABSOLUTELY about believing in yourself.


Decision time Darling – message me for details.

Do you remember who you truly are?


don’t say a word.

Just drop into the beautiful silence.

The rise and fall of your chest as you breathe in renewed life.

The welcoming dark as you close your eyes and shut out the world.


Simply allow your attention to drop from your head,

into you heart,

feeling into the deep sense of peace,

of love,

of eternity.


This, my Darling,

is where you will thrive.



Finding your voice in the warmth of the dark.

Clarity, in the eye of the storm.


If only you would give yourself permission.


Do you remember who you truly are?


Funny how we’re told that darkness is to be feared.

That isolation should be avoided.

How sheep is safe,




and the wolf is painted as dangerous,



never turn your back for she will rip you apart.


Do you remember who you truly are?


From an early age we know that somehow we don’t belong – often labelled as the black sheep of the family.

Could it be because black is the colour of our fur?


Constantly berated for our insensitive, uncensored language.

I’ve never understood the purpose of sugar-coating my words.

By the time I’ve removed all possible triggers,

watered it down so that I won’t accidentally hurt the feelings of another,

left out all that could be interpreted as disrespectful or politically incorrect,

there’s nothing left but a hollow lie.

Like children playing ‘telephone’ – the message a gross deformity of the original intent.

Is it any wonder that the words of most have become void of meaning?


I don’t see the purpose of consoling conversations when people are making interesting choices, not enjoying the outcome.

They take actions that lead to pain and then blame everyone else,

seeking sympathy in the arms of lovers and friends,

and of course,

if you’re a good friend or lover,

you don’t tell them to take responsibility,



it’s your job to make them feel better about themselves,

ensuring them that they’re simply a victim of circumstances,

that there’s always another dick in the story,

so that,


They can do that same shit again in a different circumstance,

continuing the cycle of insanity?


My value of honesty has made me extremely unpopular over the years.

There was a time when I too gave in to the societal pressure,

telling people what they wanted to hear,

and by the way,

they always hear what they WANT to hear,

regardless of what you say,

in the process,

I was so out of integrity,

I might as well have flushed myself down the toilet along with the shit that came out of my mouth.



I choose to say it the way I see it.

When someone chooses to take a new perspective,

to question their story,

not to take on mine,

but instead to choose a new one of their own telling,

one of true empowerment,

taking ownership of their role in creation,

that is what they will take from our conversation.

If, on the other hand, they choose to stay the victim,

they will put me in the camp of the enemy,

and leave.


I choose to stay in integrity.


Do you remember who you truly are?


The more years I add to my life-calendar,

the more selfish I become.

For me,

being alone is no longer a luxury.

It’s a necessity.

For me,

boundaries are no longer flexible.

They are non-negotiable.

For me,

doing my purpose work is no longer a dream.

It’s my reason for rising each day.


I’ve come to understand that my purpose will never be understood by those I love who are different from me.

I’ve come to know that as a lone wolf,

my path is in the dark where others feel unsafe,

my path is in the wilderness where others don’t dare tread as the lack of a clear way freaks them out,

where I run freely in the storm,


fully alive,

with no need to explain my wild behaviour,

my insane levels of joy and liberation.


I simply remembered who I am.

And have given myself permission to be unapologetically me.


Do you remember who you truly are?


More and more I see the re-awakening of those who are similar to me.

Still swaddled by the love of those who choose safety,

those who choose ‘normality’,

those who choose to follow the ‘laid out’ ways of our forefathers.

Again and again, they’re brought to moments of decision.

Will they finally remember and embrace who they are fully,

breaking free from all restraints,

finding their voices and singing out their song of liberation?

Or will they share their realisations with those they love and trust,

only to find cautionary words,

and having to decide:

Do you trust yourself,


or do you trust them more?


Here’s what I’ve come to understand as well:

you will choose your liberation when you’re ready to choose.

Not a moment sooner.


Trust that there will be no shortage of moment of choice.

The Universe will continue to put you in front of them.

Without judging your unreadiness to say YES to yourself.

Without any anger for your stubborn insistence of staying in the embrace of conformity.


You will rise when you’re good and ready to rise.


My invitation to you today is to take the pressure off yourself.

Allow yourself to reclaim parts of yourself,

one day at a time,

one choice at a time,

one breath at a time,

until you are whole once more.


My invitation to you today is simply to remember who you are,

to take off those glasses of obscurity

so that

you can admit you’re different from those around you.


Not because you have to leave them.

Not because you have to eat them.



what would it feel like if you could truly celebrate your differentness?

What would it feel like if you stopped making yourself wrong?

What would it feel like if you stopped making your dream crazy?

What would it feel like if you allowed yourself to go within,

to the silence,

to the dark,

to love?


What would it feel like my Darling?


Remember who you are.


For only death is inevitable.

Thriving is the choice of those brave enough to remember.


Live with honour.


PS:  This is the final week of enrolment for the Alpha Coach Apprenticeship.

One year intensive certification program for revolutionary coaches ready to BE the change they seek in the world, calling in their true following, building an empire of impact and becoming LEGENDARY.


The Apprenticeship is for those BORN to be a radiant lighthouse for others.


The one who’s been feeling for some time now that this is YOUR time,

Except looking around the steps they preach seem incredibly boring and you simply can’t be fucked.

I know.

That’s because coaching is not about learning some systems like a monkey and then regurgitating ‘the one and only way’ like a brainless parrot.



From within YOU.

It’s about YOU BEING a coach.

By doing the work every day,


Because not doing it would be like not showering or brushing your teeth for a year.

It’s about an unwavering BELIEF in the magnificence within people,

And ONLY speaking to that part of them until they can connect and live from this space.

Message me for details.

What do you value more than your freedom?





Just words…


And for most,

it feels like a far-off dream,

an impossibility.


Trapped in the illusion of commercialised needs and old ideas of what will bring fulfilment,

they’ve created a bog filled with quick-sand,

convincing themselves it’s worth trading their thrive for credit cards.

Numbing the pain of being gagged and bound through distraction,

poisoning their minds and bodies,

lying to themselves and everyone else,

that mere existence is all they desire.


For some, that white-picket fence still represents the dream life.

I’m happy for them.

I know a few, and they are truly lit up, living in full alignment!


For us,

the alphas,

wild, independent, fierce, passionate men and women who desire adventure, impact and orgasms,

it’s nothing more than a prison where your passion for life is squashed in the cog of the machine of conformity.




For a large part of my life, I thought that there was something seriously wrong with me.

That I was the most ungrateful bitch alive,

who deserved nothing more than what I got.


I grew up in the perfectly contained Afrikaans family.

Deranged father for whom brute force was a basic requirement for children to learn respect.

Break their wills and they will become contributing members of the work-force thereby fulfilling his manly role.

Oppressed mother who believed that staying in an abusive marriage was the responsible thing to do,

as the bully making life hell behind closed doors,

would surely protect her brood from the monsters outside.

A brother in pain who wouldn’t dare to stand up to his elders,

which meant, the only way to release the pressure valve,

was to rain his fury down on me.


I was taught that as a woman you should keep your mouth shut.

Nobody cares what you think and you shouldn’t presume to give input in the affairs of men.

You shouldn’t want for beauty.

That your hard-earned money belongs to the head of the house.

If you dared to buy a new pair of shoes,

hide them in the back of the cupboard,

then place them between the others,

subconsciously getting him used to seeing them,

before wearing them.

Otherwise there would be a reckoning,


I learned that girls are punching bags for hurt, confused and frustrated men.

That we should simply allow them to unwind by spewing their hurtful, poisonous, insults over us.

Sobbing on the floor would soften their hearts for a moment.

Or not.

It could just as easily swing the other way,

infuriating them even more,

as they see the weakness of themselves reflected in our tears.


I learned that when a man decided to take pleasure in my body,

regardless of my age,

regardless of my wishes,

I deserved to be violated.

That I’m worthless as an independent being, simply a toy for others.


I learned that the mental madness caused by our fucked up social system resulting in abuse, humiliation and violence,

is a safe-house for the perpetrator,

and a cloak of shame for the receivers.

That society protects those who do not take responsibility for themselves,

by calling it a disease,

saying they are as much victims as everyone else.

and they should live in anonymity for the rest of their lives.


Lessons I continued to learn well into my adult life.

Like a dutiful daughter I honoured my forefathers and mothers,

recreating the patterns of old,

and handing them to the next generation tied up with a pretty bow.


I wouldn’t trade a single day of my life.

I have nothing but love and appreciation for every single person who walked a minute with me.

It was through every relationship,

every single word,

every single rape,

every single beating,

that I learned it’s all





I am so appreciative of our social systems of lies, fear and illusions of safety.

For those of us who came here to question,

who came here to break the cycles,

who came here to liberate ourselves,

it is just the perfect training ground!


Looking back on my life,

I should be broken.

And for a while there,

things were pretty fucking shaky!


I lived drowning in depression,

suffocating from the restriction of my throat as I had gave away my voice,

I lost my will to live,

I reached a point where getting up off that cold floor seemed hopeless,

why even bother,

when I would simply be there again tomorrow?


They finally broke me,

so that,


They broke me,

so that,


They broke me,

so that,



And trust me,

I’m not everyone’s shot of espresso!


For my freedom

I had to value myself above the family.

For my freedom

I had to value my purpose above my socially dictated roles.

For my freedom

I had to value my love for adventure, growth, expansion, contribution above the ‘protection’ of men.

For my freedom

I had to invest in myself instead of spending money on shit I didn’t need.


Above all,

for my freedom,

I had to choose to be the woman who accepts, appreciates, loves and respects herself.


I have no interest in blaming anyone for anything.

I have no interest in shaming anyone, including myself for anything.

I take full responsibility for the fact that I’m a magnet for all that I experience in my life.

And I do so joyfully,

even the painful shit,

as all is perfect in my evolution!


I value freedom above all.



is only possible,

through love.


I’ve also come to understand that not everyone desires freedom.

Even when they say they do.

They still value ‘safety’ and ‘belonging’ and ‘responsibility’ and ‘trappings’ more.

They lack true belief in themselves.

Choosing instead to listen to the voice of doubt.

Thinking that ONE day they’ll be ready for liberation.

But not yet.


Still not understanding that choice ONLY ever happens in the NOW.

This very second.

You get to DECIDE.

If you’re not willing to CHOOSE NOW,

you’ll not choose it later on.

You’ll keep putting conditions between yourself and your freedom.

You’ll keep putting conditions between yourself and your best life.

You’ll keep telling yourself the same bullshit tomorrow,

next Monday,

next month,

next year.

Oh I know you think you won’t.

You will.


My question to you today is this:

What do you value more than freedom?

For in the absence of freedom,

you’re nothing more than a prisoner of fear.


How much longer Darling?

How much longer?


Only death is inevitable.

Thriving is always the choice of the brave.


Live with honour.



PS:  This is the final week of enrolment for the Alpha Coach Apprenticeship.

One year intensive certification program for revolutionary coaches ready to BE the change they seek in the world, calling in their true following, building an empire of impact and becoming LEGENDARY.


The Apprenticeship is for those BORN to be a radiant lighthouse for others.


The one who’s been feeling for some time now that this is YOUR time,

Except looking around the steps they preach seem incredibly boring and you simply can’t be fucked.

I know.

That’s because coaching is not about learning some systems like a monkey and then regurgitating ‘the one and only way’ like a brainless parrot.



From within YOU.

It’s about YOU BEING a coach.

By doing the work every day,


Because not doing it would be like not showering or brushing your teeth for a year.

It’s about an unwavering BELIEF in the magnificence within people,

And ONLY speaking to that part of them until they can connect and live from this space.

Message me for details.