Dearly departed toenail… What are you not releasing?

Focus Anel.

Clear your mind.

Breathe in.

Breathe out.

Ugh, my toe hurts.

Shuffle a little.

Change position of my foot.


Okay, now focus.

Clear your mind.

Breathe in.

Breathe out.

It’s still hurting.



Another 15 minutes of interrupted meditation goes by.

This is simply getting ridiculous!


I get out the nail polish remover,

and reveal the culprit.



that’s VERY purple.


It’s been months since my epic adventure at Abel Tasman.

Since my return,

I’ve lost 3 toenails and have another 2 staring at me,

angry purple-blue,

so I’ve simply been painting them thinking that somehow,

if I could live in denial for long enough,

they would miraculously get cured.


Never mind the fact that my big toe has been hurting





I kept telling myself that I can save her.

Because the alternative,

would mean I only have 6 toenails left,

and it’s looking pretty fucking





I know,

I know…





And it’s not even about how it looks to me,

but to others.

Especially since my youngest has such a strong reaction to my nails coming off.

“EEEWWWW MOM that’s so gross.

Get that thing away from me.”

With all the drama that only a teenager can muster.


But eventually I have to ask myself:

How much longer am I willing to tolerate discomfort,

for the sake of appearances,

and also,

the pain looming ahead of getting that little baby off,

as she seems to be clinging to my flesh with the determination of a pitbull?



I’ll spare you the gory details of how I sat there,

gently coaxing the dead nail to let go of my foot.

Weeks of agony,

was over in less than five minutes of focused attention.


What’s important for you to know is

there was NONE of the anticipated pain.


It was all in my head,

aggravated by the research done which mentally had me prepared for ripped skin and pouring blood.

Which is really absurd considering I’ve been loosing toenails since the age of 13 when I got my first pair of ballet blocks.

Yet somehow,

the evidence of others seem to cloud our own memories.

The mind is a POWERFUL thing my friend.


More importantly,

was the immediate relief I felt as the pressure simply disappeared!


The new nail had already been forming underneath and the relentless pain was caused by the fact that

there’s simply not space for the old and the new to co-exist!


Does it look gorgeous?


But who the fuck actually cares about what my toe looks like in the bigger scheme of things?

Plus, it’s Winter.  I’ll simply wear socks 😉

Once I presented the offensive toe for inspection

Jacques simply said,

“Aaah mom, you can hardly notice it.”


Now, you might be thinking

What the actual fuck Anel?

What does your toenail have to do with me?



everything Darling.

Opportunities for awareness and learning exists in our everyday life.

In fact, if you scroll back and relook at the highlighted sentences,

taking it outside of the scenario,

you can have an a-ha moment or two!

Since most people don’t take the time to find the little gold nuggets gifted to them,

thinking losing a toenail is simply about losing a toenail,

instead of taking the opportunity to connect other areas of wisdom,

which is only possible when we choose to live in a state of presence,

I’m sharing some of mine.


Because right now,

if you’re on any form of growth-enhancing journey,

aka you’re alive,

there’s something which needs to be released.

There always is.


An area

a person

a habit

a thing

a belief

a thought-pattern

that’s causing you discomfort or outright pain.


Chances are that the reason you’re clinging to it so long,

is because you don’t want the icky response we inevitably receive from others.

You maybe don’t want to be responsible for their discomfort in your shedding process.

You want to avoid the not-so-pretty transition stage as you look,

dare I say it,


You think it’s going to hurt because others tell you so,

or a memory that you’ve coloured vividly making it even more than what it was.


Thing is Sunshine,

you can keep holding on to whatever you think you’re not ready to release.

Event though it not only hinders your growth,

but probably will start festering and become toxic to you.

You can continue to live in denial,

numbing the pressure with medication and distraction,

slowing your growth,

heaven only knows you’re strong enough to live in agony for decades.


Or you can choose to release in love,

with love,


and experience immediate relief.


Your experience of life is simply an expression of your choices.


Only death is inevitable.

Thriving is the choice of the not-so-pretty-feet Alpha.


Live with honour,



PS:  Need some clarity on what’s no longer in alignment?


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How will you know what to do, if you don’t know who the hell you are?


You might have heard me say it before,

a hundred times or more,

that it’s NOT about what you’re doing,

but WHO you’re being,

that dictates your results.


But what the hell does that even mean?

And why does it scare so many people when they ask themselves the question:

Who am I?


I remember the first time I wrote it at the top of the paper.

Sat in a room full of fellow personal development junkies.

The instructions clear – you couldn’t define yourself by any title.

No saying I am a coach, or I am a mother, or anything in that line of conditioned response.


On the outside I held on to my calm demeanour.

On the inside,

I was freaking the fuck out.


I had no idea what to say,

what to write,

where to even begin!


I came to the realisation that this is a question that we’re not encouraged to explore.

As who I am,

is always different from who you are.

And if who I am is displeasing to you,

we’re told we have a problem,

as the culture of conformity demands sameness in thought, in speech, in action.

It’s what the entire system is built on,

and heaven forbid a cog should break as the whole world will come crumbling down.



billions of people are kept busy to the point of dropping dead on their way to work,

buried on the weekend so everyone can get back to their normal stations by Monday.

Running on automatic,

just going through the daily motions without much thought or presence,

they wonder why their lives are void of true fulfilment,

why they’re so fucking tired




why they’re shouting at the kids and then feeling bad afterwards,

why they’re cheating on their spouses and then feeling bad afterwards,

why they’re drinking away their sorrows and then feeling bad afterwards?


What if…

all this shit is happening,

because it’s time for us to slow the fuck down,

and figure out the important stuff FIRST,

before lifting a single finger in action?


What if…

all of the chaos caused by the continuous shaming and blaming,

is simply a symptom of people living in denial of their internal battle,

the puss of resentment oozing out,

every time they see another ballsy enough to be happy,

to be different,

to be liberated from the social expectations,

which in my not so humble opinion is mostly boring AF.


What if…

you actually stopped taking action for the sake of taking action,

and instead,

you took all the time you needed to figure out who the hell you desire to be first.

And yes,

I did just say


as quite frankly Gorgeous,

you can be whoever the hell you want to be.


You can be wickedly sexy.

You can be provocative in your speech.

You can be liberated from social decorum.

You can be happy.

You can be free.

You can be magnetic.

You can be prolifically creative.

You can be saturated in love.


Because once you know who you desire to be,

the experience that you desire to have next in this magnificent life,

you will KNOW EXACTLY which actions to take,

to receive that which you truly want.


I call it the CAA methodology to creating your THRIVE.

I even drew a picture for you:



Yip, I’m not JUST a pretty face LOL.


Since I doubt you will choose to be exhausted,

or choose to be jealous,

or choose to be resentful,

or choose to be an asshole,

I mean,

you could,

maybe you want to,

that’s perfect too as I do believe in freedom of choice,

and your decisions don’t impact me,

as I get to stay connected to MY decisions,

but since I doubt you will,

you will find that most of what you’re doing now,

is taking you in the wrong direction

and you will

STOP doing that shit!


Do yourself a favour and do a quick check-in right now:

if you were completely honest with yourself,

and if you were to close your eyes and FEEL into your body,

your mind,

your heart,

who are you being???


Are you being fabulous, creative, sexy, delightful?

Then open your eyes and keep doing what you’re doing Darling.

Are you being an angry, exhausted, resentful, stale old vanilla wafer?

Then seriously,

what the fuck?

Don’t you understand that THIS is your current choice through your current actions and that no matter HOW MUCH more action you take,

you’re simply creating more of this?


Everything comes down to who you are BEING.


and now

and now.


It is dynamic,


and perfect.


It’s time Darling,

for you to question,

to ask the dreaded WHY,

the most powerful question in the world,

and the ONE question we’re not encouraged to ask!!


And then,

if you’re actually one of the very few people committed to true thrive,

from a space of radical self-acceptance, self-appreciation, and self-love,

it’s time to choose differently…


Only death is inevitable.

Thriving is always the choice of the Alpha Female.


Live with honour,




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“I love you, but I love me more…”

I might have a little girl-crush on Samantha Jones.


I’ve come a far way in the last year or so,

finally admitting to myself and the world that I do better as a free woman,

and still,

I have a long way to go.


Which is probably why “Sex and the City” came onto my radar.

It’s one of those series that women used to talk about with either great admiration or horrified disgust.

It took me all this time to finally watch it.


Last night Samantha looked her first great love right in the eye,

having listened to his impassioned plea as to why she should remain in the relationship,

and from a space of absolute compassion said:

“I love you, but I love me more”


Those words infiltrated my subconscious mind,

marinading whilst asleep,

and completely transformed my journaling experience this morning.


My question to myself:

If I truly loved and appreciated myself,

the way Samantha Jones does,

what would be different,

what would I no longer do,

what would I no longer tolerate?


One would expect that at this stage of the fight there would be but a bullet point or two.


as I gave myself permission to be ruthless,

page after page filled up.


Relationships where I’m still giving way more than I’m receiving.

Routines expected of a married woman but which really serves no purpose to a single woman.

Old habits which quite frankly leaves me with the taste of blandness in my mouth.

Even foods which I’ve told myself shit about when,

if I’m honest,

does not leave me feeling fabulous.


Surely if I truly loved and appreciated myself,

fabulous would be the norm…

And anything else,

would simply be a fuck no.


I mean seriously Darling,

why the hell are we still settling for so much uninspiring bullshit?


Truth is that most people don’t feel comfortable in amazing.

They want nothing to do with the spotlight.

They whisper in the dark,

and whisper in the light.

They love the cloak of conformity.

And to them I say:

‘go forth into the cult of average and be happy in your misery.’


You’re not most people, Sunshine,

you wouldn’t be here if you were.


Either you’re reading this because you’re one of those who love being triggered,

just so that you can justify your indignation and angrily stomp around,

telling everyone about the disrespectful bitch who posts the most inappropriate things online.

If that’s you,

I’m happy to be in service to your anger-disguised fear.



you’re an Alpha reading this because

you’ve had your fill of self-sacrifice for the sake of compromise.


We’re living in a radical time,

which is easy to spot if you choose to take off your blinkers.

More and more people are waking up to the fact that just as there’s a class-divide,

there’s an energy divide.

And it’s not as forgiving as the class system.

There’s no ‘middle-energy’,

which is why the ‘middle-class’ is dying out rapidly.


You’re either choosing to be high vibrational,

or you’re choosing to be low vibrational.

It’s a choice based on YOUR thoughts.

Plain and simple.

Until you start paying attention to your mind,

you’re fucked.


You’ll continue to believe others,

even when what they say leaves you curled up in pain,

you’ll continue to follow and obey,

even when it has you living in chains of slavery,

you’ll continue to kiss arse,

even when the stink has you vomit in your mouth.


Mind-set is the strategy to EVERYTHING in your life,

from your fitness to your business to your money to your relationships,

because when you believe it,

you see it.


End of discussion.


It’s also been my experience and observation that the ONLY reason we don’t question more,

why we don’t speak out more,

why we don’t decide for ourselves more,

is that we put the feelings of others above our own.


As if

we’re responsible for how anyone else feels.

As if

we can possibly please everyone else.

As if

we matter less than others.


It’s this sick philosophy of sacrifice for the clan

that breeds co-dependency, conformity, self-sacrifice, and quite frankly, mediocrity.



Because those who are too lazy to do the work,

the real work,

the inner work,

the mind work,

are the ones who wail the loudest,

which has all the rescuers jump on their white steeds and charge forth,

slaying anyone deemed to be offensive.


How’s that working out for us?

Let’s see…


Increase in addictions,

Increase in abuse,

Increase in depression,

Increase in suicide,

Increase in violence,

Increase in poverty,

Increase in disease.



I don’t think the prevailing mentality is working out so great for humanity.


Let me ask YOU:

what would be different in YOUR life if you




Loved and Appreciated yourself


than you love and appreciate anyone else?


Can you even comprehend?

Or does it sound so selfish, so inconsiderate,

that the question, in and of itself, offends you?


Only death is inevitable Darling.

Thrive is the choice of those brave enough to return to self.


Live with honour,








There’s nowhere left to hide… why would you want to anyway?

Whether you like it or not,

life is changing Darling.


There’s a shift in consciousness such as never before.

Which in all honesty,

is scary AF for most.

Especially those for whom the illusion of certainty is their primary preference.



you can choose to cling to the old ways of wearing the suffocating masks,

only ever being appropriate and ‘cultured’,

hiding behind jargon to keep you apart from those deemed less educated,

pretending that you can actually cut yourself into a million pieces

to please a million different people,

thereby not upsetting anyone who stomps their toe against your beautiful stiletto,


you can choose to trust!


Trust yourself that you’re good enough.

Trust life that everything happens for you.

Trust love that there will always be those who resonate with your true self,

and billions for whom ALL of you EVERYWHERE is simply too much, inappropriate and disturbing to the extreme.


Some will always think that you taking up more space,

filling the world with more of you,

means diminishing of another.

They simply cannot comprehend the law of EXPANSION,

that the more you ask for,

the more you create for yourself,

the more you allow yourself to spill over,

the more abundance is created for ALL.


For there is zero scarcity of anything!

Only scarcity in thought and perception.


You can’t really blame them.

After all,

our forefathers decreed and declared that there is not enough,

that the pie is finite,

that the power of one will mean the weakness of another,

and when you feel threatened,

it is your right to defend that which is yours,

whether with guns,


or rape.


We’ve been ruled by fear long enough Sunshine!

Fear is nothing more than my absolute best Friend leading me to an Expanded and Adventurous Reality.


That’s right bitches,

I’ve taken their weapon and turned her into my ally.


Every institution,

every platform,

every comment,

meant to push me back into silent obedience,

is now my playground for mischievous delight.


Before you think this piece is all about me,

it is,

and it’s not.


I’m simply paying attention to what’s going on around me.

The shit that others refuse to see,

struggling with their own suppression leading to depression,

unable to cope with the excruciating pain of others,

knowing full well that they’re not willing to do jack shit,

terrified of the consequences as the old boys club think the rise of alpha females threatens their testicles.



I have no interest in competing or depleting your little play-pen.

I’m only interested in creating my own,

knowing that we can live in unison.

Each thriving in their own unique ways.


What I AM taking a stand for,

are those NOT thriving.

Alpha females who’ve remained silent up to this point,

thinking it was the only acceptable thing to do,

and for whom the collar of domesticity is worse than a prison sentence.

I’m taking a stand for alpha males who’ve sacrificed their personal standards for the sake of compromising with mediocrity,

keeping themselves out of their zone of genius,

fearing that their fullness will be too much for others to handle.


And yes,

the sheople will turn on you.

They will stand in their safe hordes,

and bleat at you all day long.

Some might even find the bravado to take a bite as their sheer numbers has them feeling strong.

Baah, baah, baah….


I’m taking a stand for those who choose to thrive.

Those who choose to grow.

Those who choose to blossom.

Those who choose to embrace their genius and nurture it so that they can create their ORIGINAL art.

Those who choose to be happy.

Those who choose to focus on themselves,

taking complete responsibility for the creation of their experience.


The rest are incapable of receiving my message anyway.

And they won’t receive yours either.


Don’t be distracted by their noise.

Discipline your mind.

Get in the zone.

Keep moving forward.


There will come a point where your journey will lead you to unchartered territory,

and the sheople will not dare follow.

For they don’t delight in the climb.

They don’t embrace the exhilaration of the unknown.

They never will.


The Universe in her infinite love, wisdom and power,

has flattened the world once more.

There’s nowhere left to hide my friend,

your true colours are shown,

even though most expose theirs in pure ignorance.


Why would you want to hide all of you?

When you’re absolutely spectacular.

You’re perfect in your uniqueness.

You’re beautiful in your realness.

Your song will bring delight to those who choose to dance with wild abandon.

And will be too loud for those who choose to play their violins of sorrow, regret, fear and martyrdom.




It’s time!

From where you’re at,

regardless of how alone you feel right now,

to release your vocals and sing.

And when it seems darkest,

when all you hear is the raging of the storm,

the howl of the wind will turn into the song of another alpha,

and another,

and another.

We will walk in unison once more Darling,

with pride,

with integrity,

with honour.


Only death is inevitable,

thriving truly is the choice of those brave enough to take a stand against the sheople.


Thrive with honour,





When they tell you to be your real self…

People are simply delicious…

I love how they always presume to know what’s good for me.

What will make me happy.

What will make me successful.


I particularly delight in people telling me who I really am.

What I really want to say.

How I really want to say it.


Of course,

they’re actually saying jack shit about me,

and telling me everything about who THEY are.


I guess it comes from their expectation that,

just because I choose to be in the lime-light,

I should be different in public from private.


For a long time,

I was.

But probably not in the way you think.


Other than most who feel they have to pretend in public,

and be themselves at home,

like so many alpha females,

I was myself in public,

and a shadow of my true self at home.


Constantly told that I’m just too much to be around,

too loud,

too free,

too crass,

too outspoken,

too fucking happy!


I had to dull myself at home so as not to overshadow my then husband,

who quite frankly,

got a rotten deal the day he put a ring on my finger.


It’s not his fault.

Society does not prepare the traditional man to be with a wild woman.

And Sweetheart,

I’m about as wild and free and independent as they get.

I really do howl.

I laugh out loud wherever I find myself.

I say what I mean and mean what I say.

I’m the one dancing in the shopping isles because it’s fun!

Try and put me in another fucking box and I will strut away before you can blink an eye.

With no apology.

No explanation.


Relentless in my optimism,

I’m passionate AF about my empire,

my art,

my purpose,

my thrive.


Most call me obsessed.

Rolling their eyes when they see me working on a Sunday in the local coffee shop.

Asking if I ever take a break.

Not understanding that when you’re connected to the muse,

doing what has your soul on fire,

it IS the break,

from fitting in with the average existence of the masses.


I have no desire to compete,

as if

anyone could do me better than me and quite frankly,

I have no desire to do anyone else.

I have no desire to compare,

as if

comparison could ever lead to originality and quite frankly,

I never came to this life to imitate.

I have no desire to have a better half,

or be someone else’s better half,

as if

I’m not fucking whole and complete by myself and quite frankly,

I’m unavailable to fix anyone else.

Their lives,

their choices.


Personally I believe we’re moving into a time when people need to start minding themselves again.

As brilliant as our global connection via the web and social media is,

it has most floundering and in crises as they’re so busy looking at everyone and everything else,

even that which is more photoshop than reality,

leaving them thinking they’re not good enough and feeling like absolute SHIT about themselves.


Instead of constantly looking around at what everyone else is doing,

and how they’re doing it,

instead of constantly asking other people what they’re working on,

and how they’re planning on succeeding in it,

it’s time to fucking get real with ourselves.


All of this outward focus, is nothing more than a cowardly distraction from being their best version self.

Which requires them to figure out who the hell they are,

what makes them light up like a Christmas tree,

having the audacity to become unavailable for anything else,

and choosing to thrive.


And if that means being ‘unprofessional’ and saying FUCK,

as if this could be seen as anything BUT professional if aligned with your core values,

then so be it.

If it means changing your mind after decades of doing something in one way,

showing growth,



then HOORAY!


Look Hunny,

the thing is that people will always judge you through their lenses.

It actually has fuck-all to do with you.

Quite frankly,

the only limitation this puts on your happiness,

is the extent to which you’re buying into their shit and then adapting your behaviour to please their current state.


I’m the first one to raise my hand and say guilty as charged.


So fucking what?


Does it mean that I hang my head in shame for the fact that I too gave into peer pressure for most of my life?


Why would I dishonour my journey and take away from myself all the learning and insights I have received


I can choose going forward?


Does it mean that I’m going to continue living my life the exact way I have up to this point,

as not doing so,

changing my mind by evaluating the wisdom I have gained thus far,

will make me ‘unpredictable‘ in the eyes of others,

and they might not trust me?

Not a bloody chance!


In fact,

I’m going to tell you right now,

that if you choose to continue being in my space,

you should ALWAYS expect the unexpected.

And you get to choose your reaction to it.

You can choose to judge me as unstable and place me in the ‘crazy fucker’ category in your mind,

or you can choose to delight in the unfurling of my adventure and be inspired to question your own current beliefs and behaviours.


Where does your current focus lie?

Are you looking around at what everyone else is doing,

how they’re behaving,

what they’re saying,

so that you can advise them on how to be better at being themselves?

Or are you on a mission to make the rest of your life the best goddamned years?

By figuring out what you truly desire?

How you choose to define success for yourself?

How you choose to live in a way that feels expansive and joyous and free?


Where your focus goes,

energy flows.

And I will leave you with this last nugget:

When your energy is constantly flowing out,

it leaves you feeling drained, depleted, resentful, depressed and overwhelmed.

Pay attention to how you’re feeling and you’ll know where you’re focused.


Only death is inevitable.

Thriving is the choice of those brave enough to mind themselves.


Live with honour,



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Darling, it’s not YOU.

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Like you, I’ve spent most of my life doing it like a man.

Without ever needing to prove myself or compete with the boys.

It’s simply the only way I’ve been taught.


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Right now, is as free as you’re going to get…

Sit up.

Pay attention.

Shit is about to go down on a g-string.


Home truth Lover.


As free as you’re feeling right now,

in this breath,

is as  free as you’ll ever get…


Unless you stop your shit,

thinking your freedom lies on the other side of the fence.




That’s right Dumpling.


Nobody and nothing is imprisoning you.

There’s no financial restraints holding you hostage.

No homely responsibilities killing your joy.


It’s all you.


It’s in the way you think.

Sloppy stories all over the place of how you don’t have what it takes.

That’s it’s just not your time.

That you’re not ready.

That you’re too young.

Too old.

Too uneducated.

Too overeducated.



It’s in the way you feel.

Out of control.

Your emotions running rampant as you’ve rejected the power of them,

and right now,

they have you freaking the fuck out.

Desperately taking any and all forms of medication available to put you in a comfortable state of numb.

Happy pills.

Another drink.

Another cookie.

Another episode of Game of Thrones.

Another raid on whatever the fuck games people are playing.


Every time you say to yourself

Once  this happens….  I will feel that ….

you’re simply reinforcing the prison-bars in your mind.


I played this game far too long.

Thinking that my happiness was conditional on the behaviour of others,

the acceptance by others,

the release of others,

the connection with others,

the shape of my body,

the amount of money in my bank account,

the colour of my car,

the flavour of my food.



Happiness is a CHOICE.

There’s zero conditions to happiness.

As long as you make your happiness dependent on anything outside of yourself,

you’re going to feel miserable AF.


I used to think my freedom was dependent on my source of income,

the state of my relationships,

my neighbourhood,

the current government,

the stock-market,

my children growing up.



Freedom is a CHOICE.

There’s zero conditions to freedom.

And as long as you’re arguing this,

you’re a motherfucking prisoner of your own beliefs.


I used to think my thrive was dependent on my lover,

on my health,

on the amount of time available to me,

on the size of my support team,

on the moods of my friends,

on the song playing on the radio,

on my network of influencers,

on the current opportunities lined up.



Thrive is a CHOICE.

There’s zero conditions to thrive.

As long as you believe something has to happen first,

you’re in a state of scarcity and deprivation.


It’s opposite energies Hunny.

And yes,

energy matters.


I think society has been doing ‘same old same old’ for long enough.

Conformed in our thinking to pass our grades,

to the point where most have lost the ability to think for themselves.

So many saturated by fear of not having a job,

which means they can’t pay the bills of crap they’re buying on credit,

to fill the endless hole inside of them,

where their creative muse used to reside.

Spilling their unquestioned belief in the very system that’s eaten their testicles,

onto the next generation,

even though our children are looking at us,

eyes filled with disappointment in our inability to see how the current approach is draining them of creativity.


Behaving according to the expectations of those long ago decayed in the soil,

without questioning the relevance to us personally,

resulting in an increase in depression to the point of it being absolutely ludicrous.



I’m proposing it’s time for a fucking evolution!

It’s time for Alphas like YOU,

to stand up,

to shake off the old stories that has you sitting down,

to open your mouth,



I’m proposing it’s time for an uprising of thrive!

It’s time for Alphas like YOU,

to stop standing in line,

to break out,

to dance to the beat of your heart,

to sway your hips with joy,

and to show people there’s another choice available to them as well.


I’m proposing it’s time for an outbreak of opulence!

It’s time for Alphas like YOU,

to stop hiding your gifts,

your light,

your magnificence.

To hell with the shadow dwellers,

they will scurry away,

back to the darkness,

where they feel safe in their numbers,

shivering the only form of movement in their lifeless bodies.




You are only responsible for YOUR choice.

Right now.


I’m taking a stand for Alphas to become selfish!

To start filling up their own cups.

To ONLY give from a space of overflow.

Every serious athlete understands that it’s moronic to starve your body of food,

and then train insane.

As the fire requires fuel,

and once the food stores are depleted,

it will devour your very muscle.

Same with you Darling.

When you’re constantly helping everyone else,

giving to everyone else,

available for everyone else,

whilst your cup is empty,

the fire will consume your very life force to keep burning.

Why do you think you’re so fucking tired all the time????

You’re literally killing yourself because of your ingrained codependency.


Those who DESERVE to be in your life,

in your space,

will take care of themselves,

filling their own cups,

so that

they can play full out with your best self.


Fuck martyrdom.

Fuck codependency.

Fuck disempowering beliefs.


It’s time for Alphas to rise into their glorious fullness and THRIVE!

My name is Anel.

I’m the instigator of the Thrive Evolution for Alpha Females.


Are you coming?


Only death is inevitable.

Thriving is the choice of those who love humanity enough to fall in love with themselves.


Thrive with honour,



PS:  STOP Setting Goals, Working Your Sweet Arse Off, And Still Waking Void Of Satisfaction Once And For All!

Darling, it’s not YOU.

I know they say this is a man’s world. But as a woman, it’s time to realise that for your “hell yes!” life, you have to do it differently.

Like you, I’ve spent most of my life doing it like a man.

Without ever needing to prove myself or compete with the boys.

It’s simply the only way I’ve been taught.


This evolutionary course helps you shift into clarity for a deeply fulfilling life in the blink of your gorgeous eyes.

Yours for FREE because I’m on a mission to instigate a Thrive Evolution for Alpha Females ready to have their cake and eat it.

Get all the details at Alpha Females .

Your thrive is one a-ha moment away.

It’s time to liberate your sweet self from your perceived weakness.

How can I be so insensitive?

So inconsiderate?

So cold?



I’m sick and tired of people being treated as though they are powerless,


in need of saving,

resulting in a victimised mindset,




and suicide.


Whatever the fuck.

I refuse to feed the little bitch in you,

when all I see is



And yes,

I know how tough things can feel at times.

I’ve been so low, cockroaches marched over me.

So fucking what?

Your past does not dictate your future.

Your next decision does.


If you think your whimpering will ever get you to roar,

you’re bloody delusional.

The only thing that happens is that all the ‘Jesus complex’ saviours cling to you,

even though they themselves can hardly get out of bed in the morning,


‘There there Pumpkin,’ they soothe you with their lies.

‘Everything will be okay.

I’ll just put a plaster on the gaping wound,

from you hacking off so many pieces of your true self,

to fit into the sickening culture of codependency,

and kiss it better’.


Whilst you’re bleeding to death.

Lacking the will-power to get the fuck up,

and break free from the prison in your own mind.


Who you surround yourself with matters.

Ultimately they will infiltrate your subconscious mind,

planting their beliefs as though they are your beliefs,

and you will become the average of them.


Look around you right now.

Who is there?

Are they badass mofo’s?

Do they challenge you?

Do they tease you?

Do they shake arse and have a good time?

Or are they miserable, grey, thrive-less fuckers?


Why do I keep my inner circle small and tight?

Alpha Females are a rare breed my Darling.

And I simply have no tolerance to surround myself with anything less than Alpha.


I do believe that as with the old tale of each of us born with a light and dark side,

we’re all born with a bad-ass and sad-ass inside us.

We are gifted the full spectrum,

from which to choose.


That’s called free will.


Which means that regardless of what’s happening in your physical world right now,

you get to dictate the internal experience.

You get to take the feedback from the outer and interpret the meaning,

decide how you’re going to feel about it,

choose the action you take from this point.


Understanding as well that you are attracting EVERYTHING into your experience,

and your Higher Self welcomes it all,

from a space of deep knowing that nothing is bad,

nothing is wrong,

everything is divinely inspired from which you get to make decisions.



you can choose to rage against me,

calling me all those crass words you never allow yourself to say in public.

If that will get you off the cold floor,

RAGE AWAY Darling.

The storm within me will see your rage,

and raise you another ten degrees.


You can choose to suppress that glimmer of excitement and hope inside of you,

keep scrolling away,

seeking another piece of research confirming you’re screwed either way,

as you need their medication to feel better,

whilst broke AF.

Then you can phone your bestie,

complain for an hour,

only to do the same shit you did before.

You can do that.

I did it for decades.


Or you can choose to do it differently.

Instead of looking for more drugs and therapy to get you through this darkness,

you can choose to join the Thrive-Evolution!

Without needing to fix anything.

Without needing to go back to ancient Egypt to pay your Karma.

Without needing to explain yourself for the journey to this point.


You can actually just choose to dance.

You can choose to fall in love with all of you.

You can choose to keep company with women on a mission to have their BEST experience of life.

You can choose to thrive.


“Oh but Anel,

it can’t be that easy…”


Oh but Darling,

it fucking can.


You’re THAT powerful.

You’re THAT magnificent.

You’re THAT worthy.


That is all I see in you.

That’s the only part I will ever speak to.

That’s the only way we’ll roll.


My question to you would be,

what have you got to loose?


Only death is inevitable.

Thriving is the choice of the Alpha.


Live with honour,



PS:  Answered: Your Most Burning Questions About How To Set Your Next Best Thrive-stone…

Don’t know what a Thrive-stone is??

I’m not surprised Darling.

Quite frankly, I’m done with “Life” and “Miles” when all I’m after, is THRIVE!

Which is exactly why I’m instigating a Thrive Evolution for Alpha Females who’ve had enough of setting goals, taking massive action, achieving results and still not feeling satisfied.

I’ve created the Thrive-stone Toolkit for Alpha Females especially for you, and to give you a taster I’m gifting you module one for FREE!

And yes, this module in and of itself will change the way you approach life FOREVER.

I’ll show you how to shift into clarity for a deeply fulfilling life with How to set your next best Thrive-stone.

Get instant access



Are you ready to call bullshit and join the thrive evolution?

I’m instigating a thrive-evolution.

For Alpha Females ready to call bullshit.


Women who are ready to question the system,

the roles we’ve been so neatly placed into,

the behaviour that we’ve been saddled with,

by anal men and insecure women who simply can’t handle our unbridled enjoyment of life.


Women who have no desire to burn their bras.

We love the soft caress of satin and lace on our sensitive nipples.

We love our feminine desires and complexities that men will never figure out.

We have no need to fight the boys-club,

we have no need to be a man’s equal,

wanting to be an equal indicates lack of personal worth.

I’m not equal Darling,

I’m fabulously unique.


Women ready to drop the struggle,

the bullshit story that we’re here to help and support everyone else.

The lie that we have to suffer on earth,

to receive heaven in the after-life.

Heaven Or Hell is happening RIGHT NOW!

The fallacy that we’re happy when they’re happy.

The fable that for us to be fulfilled,

we need to be in a committed relationship,

till death us do part.

Even when the union is so often what causes a woman’s demise.




Personally I’m DONE behaving ‘properly’.

I’m DONE with the self-criticism.

DONE with the self-loathing.

DONE with the self-sacrifice.

DONE with the comparison.

DONE with the pain.

DONE with the idea that for me to be successful as a woman,

I have to do it like a man.

DONE shaming my body.

DONE starving my soul.

DONE living in their fear-laced institutions and policies.

DONE being reasonable.


I’m instigating a thrive-evolution.

For Alpha Females ready to say ‘THANK YOU UNIVERSE, MORE PLEASE!’


Women who give themselves permission to speak their truth.

Women who give themselves permission to only do what feels expansive, gorgeous and fun.

Women who give themselves permission to dance anywhere, anytime.

Women who give themselves permission to succeed in every area of their lives on their own terms.

Women who give themselves permission to increase their receptivity.

Women who give themselves permission to be happy,

regardless of the current mood of those around them.

Women who give themselves permission to walk away from relationships which no longer serves them.

Women who give themselves permission to find pleasure in every hour of the day.

Women who give themselves permission to drop into the now and ask themselves:

“What would feel really juicy to do next?”

And then actually doing it!


For Alpha Females to thrive,

we have to change our narrative!


What I know for sure is that if we wanted to have a uniform existence,

if we truly wanted to experience life the same as men,

do life the same as men,

and the only function of our sexual organs was reproduction,

we would not be so exquisitely different on an emotional level.

Men and women would think the same.

Would speak the same.

Would desire the same things.

Would be wired the same.

Would be driven by the same things.


But we’re not!


Yet women,

at some stage,

decided that they wanted to do it like the boys,

wanted to infiltrate the old-boys-clubs,

wanted ‘equality’,

as if

a man could ever take away our power.


Oh please.

I know most don’t want to hear this but the way I see it, women GAVE away their power by believing it was taken away from them.

They GAVE away their independence by believing it was the man’s responsibility to take care of them,

whilst they were reproducing and keeping house.

Women GAVE away their freedom of speech by swallowing their truth,

and then teaching their daughters to do the same.

Women GAVE away their confidence by leaving it up to the man to make their decisions for them.

Constantly asking for permission,

asking for support,

from the one they’ve put into the role of protector to keep the fears at bay,

and then wondering why they’re not making progress.

And yes, I did it too!




There is simply no greater force than a woman full of her glorious self.

She is magnetic.



Her delight brings a lightness to every person in her presence.

Her creativity knows no bounds.


When a woman gives herself permission to be her first priority,

only being available for that which feels in full alignment of her thrive,

she is quite simply



And no man would want to put her in a cage.

I’m saying man,

not petulant and frightened little boy in a man’s body.


I’m instigating a thrive evolution.

For Alpha Females ready to leave behind the drama and the old stories of what we can or can’t do.

Can or can’t have.

Can or can’t be.


For as long as we keep retelling the old wife’s tales,

as long as we keep singing the same song of victimhood,

as long as we try and prove ourselves,

we’re imprisoned by the bullshit in our minds.


This is my invitation to the Alpha Females of the world,

and the Alpha Males who are oh so ready for powerful partnerships with confident women,

to choose THRIVE.


Stop blaming the system,

stop claiming you’re stuck because of what was,

when you and I both know

that the external world is inconsequential

when you take control of your internal world.


Mindset IS the key to unlocking your freedom.

And it starts with a decision!



The end.


Only death is inevitable.

Are you joining the thrive evolution?


Live with honour,




There’s way more to thriving than meets the eye, and yet, when you look around, all people are showing you is the surface level stuff.
Well Sunshine,
I’m passionate AF about the thrive.
I used to buy into a prescribed masculine way of setting goals, taking massive amounts of action, achieving the outcome and then starting all over again.
And I definitely achieved some epic results.
But it wasn’t until I decided to break the rules, connect with my deepest desires and created a NEW methodology for having it all, that I truly started living in a state of daily lifegasms and today, I’m that irritating bitch who has her cake and eats every delicious crumb,
And you bet your sweet ass I lick my manicured fingers and then say ‘Thank you Universe.  More please’.
I want that for you too!
I’m going to be working side by side with you as you get CLARITY like you’ve never had before and identify the best next thrive-stones (think milestones except yummier) that not only light you up, but create the biggest return on investment for your time and effort.
You bloody deserve it!
So if you’re ready for your THRIVE, get all the details HERE







Do you want to know the secret to your lifegasmic experience?

What are you pushing against?

What are you fighting to the point of exhaustion?

Where is it that you feel you have to prove a point?

That you have to prove your worth?


Just fucking stop it!


Stop looking at everyone else,

attempting to be different from them,

whilst fully immersed in the illusion of uniformity.

Having lost yourself,

forgotten who the hell you are,

what you desire,

what you love,

what you hate,

what you want more of,

what actually wedges up your arse.


You’ve given up your voice,

you’ve lost your confidence,

you’ve dimmed your bright,



Because you’re petrified of being abandoned by all the morons surrounding you,

giving you crumbs of what you need to survive,

as they are parched themselves,

and you,


hoping that one day,

everything will change,

and you will finally feel accepted, appreciated, loved and respected.


Ain’t gonna happen Buttercup.

Not until you can finally drop into those feelings ABOUT yourself, FOR yourself.

Do you get that?


The fact of the matter is that you are different.

You’re unique.




The only reason you feel anything but

outrageously fabulous,

is because of this deceptive system

where conformity is in-bred,

co-dependency cloaked as love,

and in the process

sheople are being led by their testicles to a lack-lustre existence that serves

anybody BUT themselves.


We’ve put the idea of a sacrificial lamb on a pedestal,

and your thrive is being slaughtered in the process.


Just fucking stop it.


We’re told we have a responsibility to perform for the ‘greater good’,

making us ‘valuable’ as contributing members of society.

Once the last vestige of life has been sucked out of our bones,

we’re left on the sidewalk to die,

given a pension if we played by their rules long enough,

put in an old-age home,

all but forgotten….




Washed out grey zombies living in their little boxes,

driving in their coffins

to sit in their cubicles

boredom seeing them surfing in the cloud

and then go home

to a cold




they secretly stopped liking years ago.

But since you have ‘responsibilities’

you seep poison vibes into their beings,

and then call it love.


Just fucking stop it.


Here’s what I’m going to lay out straight for you today,

chances are you’re not going to like it,

because I’m taking all your excuses,

of why you can’t be happy,

of why you’re not good enough,

of why you’re not free,

and blowing it up!


The ONLY reason you’re lonely,

is because you’ve abandoned YOURSELF.

You’ve taken all that makes you spectacularly you,

which is ALWAYS different from everyone else,

you’ve cut it out,

shoved it into a box,

and buried it six feet under.

Because it made others uncomfortable.

Others who want things to remain the same,

no desire to live freely,

as it feels safer behind bars than running wild.


The only reason you’re constantly sick,

is because you’re swallowing your truth

and it’s rotting in your stomach.

You’re never-ending questions drove them nuts,

as they’ve never thought to question themselves,

leaving them without substantial answers or curiosity to evoke further discussion.

They told you to just shut up,

it is what it is,

because they said so.

In the process,

you felt like a nuisance,

clearly you were causing them pain,

which makes you a bad girl.


The only reason you’re out of shape,

out of breath,

out of energy,

is because you’re suppressing your true radiant self,

as it’s too much for those who prefer living in the dark underground.

You’ve bought into the romantic bullshit of having someone complete you,

having someone be the wind beneath your wings,

having someone else be your better half.


How the hell can someone else ever complete you when you’re already whole??

And if it feels as though you’re not whole,



Stop being such a fucking pussy

hiding behind everyone else,

and all your excuses as to how you’re not ready.


You were born ready!

You were born with everything that is required for your unbridled joy.

You were born with the blueprint to your abundant life of thrive.


The longer you keep looking at everyone else for the answer,

waiting for someone to help you,

someone to rescue you,

the weaker you become,

as it takes you further away from you!

Which is just perfect for those who are too fucking lazy to create THEIR own thrive,

and so you all live unhappily ever after.


Just fucking stop it.


Do you really want to know the secret to your lifegasmic experience?


Are you ready for it?

Are you at the point where you’ll actually not just hear my words,

but use it to transform your life?

Or will you just read on,

let it slide off you because it just feels too hard,

that you’ll piss off too many people,

that it’s too scary,

and then go back to the same-old-same-old life,

praying for the kids to grow up so you can just curl up and die?


Your choice Darling.


The secret to your lifegasmic experience,

is being full of YOU!


It’s focusing on YOUR desires.

It’s focusing on YOUR gifts.

It’s focusing on YOUR beauty.

It’s focusing on YOUR joy.

It’s focusing on YOUR truth.

It’s focusing on YOUR health.


That’s right.


which only ever comes from

radical self-acceptance

radical self-apprecation

radical self-love

radical self-respect

which leads to

radical self-worth.


And then,

you get to show up in the world,


and those who are full of themselves

get to come and play with you!



There will be others who are not quite there yet,

but your radiance will so inspire them,

that they will come to you and ask you to show them what you did.

If they’re hungry enough for a lifegasmic experience,

they will put in the work to become full of themselves,

and they will join your party.


And if they’re not,

if they’re simply suffering from shiny-object syndrome,

they will dabble for a while,

and then leave again.


Either way,

is perfect.

As you will stay focused on you,

continuing to thrive.


You wanted to know.

Now you know.


And yes,

you might be triggered AF,

feeling irritated,

feeling out of sorts,

that it’s not more complex than this,

but what are you going to do with it?


Only death is inevitable.

Thriving is the choice of the Alphas.


Live with honour,




There’s way more to thriving than meets the eye, and yet, when you look around, all people are showing you is the surface level stuff.
Well Sunshine,
I’m passionate AF about the thrive.
I used to buy into a prescribed masculine way of setting goals, taking massive amounts of action, achieving the outcome and then starting all over again.
And I definitely achieved some epic results.
But it wasn’t until I decided to break the rules, connect with my deepest desires and created a NEW methodology for having it all, that I truly started living in a state of daily lifegasms and today, I’m that irritating bitch who has her cake and eats every delicious crumb,
And you bet your sweet ass I lick my manicured fingers and then say ‘Thank you Universe.  More please’.
I want that for you too!
I’m going to be working side by side with you as you get CLARITY like you’ve never had before and identify the best next thrive-stones (think milestones except yummier) that not only light you up, but create the biggest return on investment for your time and effort.
You bloody deserve it!
So if you’re ready for your THRIVE, get all the details HERE


Pink blossoms in Winter – asking for signs and expecting miracles.

4 am


This has been an incredible week.

A new course in development.

The first chapters of my new book complete.


Only 6 days ago a long-forgotten seed planted years ago,

patiently growing her roots underground,

broke through the surface, and

I’m in awe of her beauty.


The evolution of my soul work.

In liberating Alpha Females from a lack-lustre existence of to-do-lists and short-lived achievements.

A Thrive Revolution.


As exciting as it is,

it’s also scary AF.

Going against everything we’re taught as purpose-driven, ambitious women,

it’s sure to get a tremendous amount of push-back.


I open the front door and step out into a blast of cold.

The streets glittering from the rain which has been drenching the earth during the night.

Yet the sky clear and glorious with millions of stars greeting me.


Appreciation floods my body.

Holy shit,

this is my life!

Where I get to walk in the still of the night before dawn makes her appearance,

and simply connect with my Source.


The words spill from my mouth,

speaking of my gratitude,

my excitement,

my fear.


Am I really ready?

Are the Alphas ready?

Is the world ready to release the endless endurance of suffering and choose to turn to joy?

I’m not sure.

Doubt creeps in…


So I ask for a sign.

I ask for a sign TODAY

before I write the next chapter,

before I complete the next module,

before I start offering women a new way.

And because I’m cheeky,

I ask for the sign to be pink.


I continue,

releasing the thought,

connecting to the knowing that the Universe only says yes.


My walk,

as always,



I finally head back as the wind picks up,

Without giving it any thought,

I cross the road in an unusual place.

Something tells me not to go onto the pavement.

To instead keep walking on the road

and to slow down my feet.

I stop in front of the tree.

There’s but two remaining leaves on her branches,

dancing wildly as though the breeze tickles them into delight.


I smile.

How amazing that I see the beauty in her barren form.

A year ago I would only have observed death,

reflection of my then emotional state.

And I think to myself:

‘How can I birth new work in the dead of winter?

Shouldn’t I honour the cycles of nature and hold off till spring?’


It’s at this point, that the light of the moon hones my attention to a specific point.

As if by magic,

I see a tiny bud on the seemingly lifeless branch.

I look closer,

and to my astonishment,

the tree is filled with

pink blossoms!


My sign,

my miracle,

my thrive.



I know that right now,

you’re asking for something.

Whatever that is,

probably feels big,

and at times you might go into the shadows where doubt and fear resides.

I want to encourage you to start asking for signs,

to start requesting miracles,

ask to have the presence to see,

and expect them to be delivered to you in the most delightful ways!


There’s a change in the world.

At first I thought it indicated chaos and destruction.

Storms raging,

nature turned upside down,

people falling apart.


Now I know,

the change is happening FOR us.

In the most love-filled,

expansive ways.

The pain we experience not caused by the change,

but our fear of the change,

our resistance to the change,

our stories that change means death.

Instead of dropping into the fact that forest fires create fertile ground for new growth,

storms create new pathways for water to flow,

the old is swept away,

creating space for the new.


Here’s what I recommend you journal on this weekend:


What are you holding on to that is causing you pain?

What are you resisting that could well be your road to liberation?

What are you not creating because of fear of being criticised?


Where are you not allowing yourself to fully express yourself?

Where are you not allowing yourself to fully appreciate your gorgeous self?

Where are you not allowing yourself to be fully appreciated and adored by another?




It is my absolute knowing that you are the source of your experience.

That your mind is the key to unlocking your thrive.

By becoming aware of your thoughts,

and instead of holding on to being ‘right’,

be willing to release any and all beliefs that take you away from joy,

start telling a different story,

and allow your creativity to grow.



I believe it’s time for us to honour the divine differences between men and women,

to celebrate these,

to accentuate these,

so that we can once again flourish in our unique ways,

coming together in complimentary partnerships,

each bringing their best selves to the other.


But that’s a topic for another day.


For today,

my message to you is to ask for signs and expect miracles.


The Universe ALWAYS says YES!


Death might be inevitable,

but OMG,

you can THRIVE today!


Live with honour,



PS:  Time is Running Out!

Where are you holding yourself back from thrive?!

Nothing brings me greater joy than empowering women like you to break through those god-awful glass ceilings holding you smaller than you KNOW you were born to be.

And I’ll let you in on a little secret – it’s not hard, it’s not a fight, and no self-sacrifice is required.

90 minutes TRANSFORMS lives!

I’ll hand you the sledgehammer with which to smash through with:

  • An intake questionnaire to get clear on the values that’s probably keeping you in a cycle of self-sabotage and BS stories making you feel less than magnificent; and
  • 90 minute 1:1 session with me that you’ll never forget


You’ll walk away with

  • Clarity on exactly what you will create next, why you’ll create is, and who you will be as the powerful creator of life on your terms;
  • Perspective shifts and solutions to problems like:
    • Taking control of your emotions, fears and frustrations
    • Radical self-acceptance, self-appreciation and self-respect
    • Refocusing energy on what truly matters
    • Being the empowered, important and incredible woman you’ve always wanted to be.


Truth and transformation is yours for the taking. Details at Locked In