How Do You Disconnect From Your Body?

This is my very private story that I haven’t shared with you yet.


How I fell, how I rose and how I found my Own Path to be the woman I wanted to be!


Exactly a year ago, on 29th Oct 2014 my life fell into pieces.  My partner broke up with me because he chose another woman.


Because of him I left my corporate life

Because of him I started my own business

In fact I did so many things because of him

I was giving more than receiving

I was tolerating relationships that were destroying my soul

My life was an endless list of goals to achieve

My body was tired and lonely


I remember very well that feeling after our chat on the phone. I felt scared, lonely and abandoned. Suddenly nothing made sense in my life. I could see the puzzles but they just didn’t match to one another.


And I remember very well that feeling when I woke up the day after. The sun was still shining, the European continent didn’t break into pieces, morning coffee tasted as usual. And again I burnt toasts.


Life was following its own wise rhythm… and somehow it didn’t want to share my sadness and disappointment. Which made me think that maybe my sadness is only my judgment about the situation… or my judgment about myself.


And on that morning I made a conscious decision that from now on I am going to follow my Own Path.




Step into my own power
Listen to my intuition

Fall in love with my body
Live a life on my own conditions
Be the woman I have always wanted to be.


The funny thing is that I have always known my Path… but I was too scared.
And I rationalized it too much. “It will never work”. “This is just crazy” and so on.

But well, on that day I said to myself – now or never.


Yep. Now or never.


You can’t imagine how scared I was!

No, wait. My mind was scared.

My intuition was more than happy!



no excuses

no self-judgment

no self-sabotage

no self-blaming


Only pure honesty with myself!

What a relief to my inner voice and soul.


And so far..









Some of my friendships failed. Some people felt offended or disappointed by my change (into a bitch as they said).

Well… the way they perceived themselves and me was their choice and didn’t have much to do with me…

I had to let many things go, to become aware of my own stories I kept telling myself and consciously redesign them to work on my favor.


If you want to invite new friends into your house, you want to do the cleaning first, don’t you?




But the cost of staying on the previous track was much higher.



I met wonderful people

I strengthened existing friendships

I met a wonderful man

I remember every minute of the last 12 months

And I enjoyed them all.

And I believe my life is truly a miracle.







There are 3 parts of You to look at (and I strongly suggest you working in exactly this order):



  • Practice awareness – be here & now, find pleasure in simplicity. Concentration, meditation or dance may be helpful here
  • Become aware of stories you keep telling to yourself when nobody watches
  • Change your self-beliefs so your mind will no longer sabotage you, your self-esteem or your hidden dreams
  • Build healthy borders with the world by saying “no” to things you don’t feel aligned with. They are not good for you anyway
  • Become aware that forcing, pushing, fighting and resistance is always a sign that you are not on the right track
  • Redirect your attention – from the outside to the inside. From things happening around you to things happening inside you (there is so much happening there!)



  • Create time & space just for yourself. Even 5 minutes will be make a big change
  • Find pleasure in looking after your body. Don’t treat your body as a “to-do” list full of irritating obligations
  • Love your body. This is your friend, not your worst enemy to fight with
  • Listen to your body. Tensions and aches may be a sign of emotions or stress that you have hidden in your body
  • Let yourself be feminine the way you want to. It is YOU who decides about you. And nobody else
  • Be sensual. No, I do not mean sexual. I mean – pay more attention to all your senses, so you can have a more juicy, fulfilling life
  • Build a healthy relationship with your breasts. Yes, I know how it sounds. But believe me – breasts are really the key to your relationship with yourself as a woman



  • Instead of giving find pleasure in receiving. Build a healthy balance between giving and receiving
  • Listen to your inner voice/intuition/gut/soul. Just listen. Yes, I know, it’s hard, but it’s worth it
  • Accept the fact that your mind can’t rationalize your intuition. Your intuition will never give answers to “why” questions, which your mind loves so much
  • Open up and trust. Let yourself be guided by your intuition, let your life surprise you and bring some fresh air
  • There are no bad or good things in your life. Only lessons. Everything that you experience happens for a reason. So just…enjoy the ride, play with it
  • Take a deep breath and relax. In every moment you are exactly in the place where you should be. Nowhere else
  • Be kind. Yes, be kind to everybody. Also to your not-the-best-friends . They have their own problems and struggles too.








There is nothing more priceless than being You.
Being the Woman you have always wanted to be.




The Universe is waiting for you with their hands full of beautiful gifts. And it is your decision to take the courage and step into your power. To take the first step on Your Own Path.


And once you open up for changes and you trust your intuition, things start to happen in such a smooth way, that you may not even notice them happening. There is no pushing, no forcing, no resistance if you walk Your Own Path. Because you become fully aligned with yourself and your soul.





How about us celebrating together the best year of your life in October next year?

I will bring a bottle of Prosecco 🙂



PS:  And you know what?

I couldn’t be more grateful to my ex that he broke up with me that October night!

And that is probably why we met.


KathleenI am truly blessed and excited to introduce you to the newest member of our blogging family.

Kathleen Zajac is an internationally recognized body & heart alignment mentor and certified healer. Her mission is to help women reconnect with their bodies, hearts and souls.  She shows women how – by accepting and falling in love with your body – you can step into your inner power and become the woman who you’ve always wanted to be.

Kathleen passionately studied sociology of body, health and illness for her M.A. and PhD studies. She has been practicing meditation for more than 18 years now. On her quest to find her feminine sparkle she tried tango, flamenco, belly dance, yoga, tantra, a few broken relationships and different methods of body energy healing.

“I love that moment when I wake up a sparkle in the eyes and a soul of another woman, and gently remind her that she is beautiful, feminine and can stay vulnerable, yet strong”.

To follow her work and connect with her:



One in one BILLION: a LOVE story

Fact: There are 42,000 taxi cab drivers in NYC. Therefore, the probability of having the same driver twice is one in one billion. 9 zeros baby!

Two weeks ago, I was headed to first morning meeting in NYC. I was in a part of Manhattan that I rarely am in that morning. I saw a cab turning the corner, and I quickly hailed it.

It was a crisp, sunny Fall morning, and I was feeling giddy–full of life and gratitude for the incredible week I had planned. The cabbie and I chatted a bit about the gorgeous weather before he asked me what I did.

“I’m an entrepreneur, a coach, an author, and a speaker” I said.

“Oh really,” he said. “I’m an entrepreneur too. I’m working on a new venture that is essentially the Spotify of Politics…”

“Interesting. I wrote a book about everyday entrepreneurs that is on its way to become a TV series and/or documentary film. I’m always open to more content. Do you have a card?” I asked.

He did. ‘Jack Alvo’ it said.

“I know you. We’re connected on Linked-In. You were my cab driver several years ago” I exclaimed–my Rainman memory working its magic.

I didn’t expect his memory to match mine.

“Yes, I drove you to 13th and A in the East Village” he smiled.

I was stunned. His memory mirrored mine. I hadn’t lived in the village since early 2012.

At this point, I knew there was a lesson, so I whispered to the Universe “What’s the lesson God?”

To Jack I said, “Wow, that was over 3 and a half years ago. I must have talked your ear off about Chix 6 and SuperYou, huh?”

“You certainly did. You emailed me too” he smiled. “So, you think you might feature me in your new TV series?”

I made a note to my inner math geek self to look up the probability of having the same taxi cab driver twice.

I got out of the taxi and started walking down 5th avenue…and then it hit me. I saw a billboard from the 80s flash before my eyes:

“You’ve come along way baby”

(A Virginia Slims ad campaign)

The message: Jack Alvo was my cab driver that morning not to give me more content for my projects. His purpose that morning was MUCH bigger: to remind me that I’ve come SO far in the past few years–and especially this past year. I was also clear that his message to me was to be shared with all of YOU. So, if you’re feeling self-doubt, fear, shame, or (in my case) pressure to achieve faster, calm down because YOU’VE COME A LONG WAY BABY.

WendyOMG I love this woman!  Our blog today is contributed by the powerful Wendy Timmons.

Wendy is a woman moving MILLIONS–an author, speaker, Broadway and documentary film producer, and success coach on a mission to empower 24 million women. She has built socially impactful businesses for over 17 years and has spent the last 11 years as an entrepreneur.  Wendy’s first book, ‘The Entrepreneur Next Door’ will be released in 2016.

In March 2013, Wendy began renting her apartment on Airbnb hoping that it would provide enough income to allow her to not go back to her job as a senior executive at a digital media company and instead allow her to continue to work on Chix 6 and SuperYou.  Two years and over 100 groups of guests later, Wendy created a six figure plus business from one apartment and a few consulting gigs and has been able to travel the world.

Wendy’s experience on Airbnb led to her becoming passionate about the culture of ‘improvisational living’/everyday entrepreneurs and believes that the world will be a better place if stories of everyday people entrepreneurs uniquely ‘connecting the dots to create their dream life can be told–not to mention the fact that 50% of jobs will be gone in the next twenty years (The Economist Jan 2014). In February 2015, Wendy bought a one way ticket to Sydney and circled the globe for 60 days–interviewing entrepreneurs in every city she stopped in along her journey.

Wendy began her career designing and implementig a series of educational programs and initiatives for the United States Environmental Protection Agency that have been recognized as some of the most far-reaching and impactful education initiatives in EPA History.  Wendy received the gold medal for excellence in environmental education from EPA Administrator Carol Browner and President Bill Clinton for the work she did to create and implement the Earth Day 2000 Art Contest.  Wendy has presented  and been a panelist at over a dozen education conferences and published a series of educational pamphlets about source reductions, re-use, and recycling for the US EPA.   Wendy earned her BS from the University of Michigan in 1998 and her MRLS from the University of Denver College of Law in 2004.

To follow her work and connect with her:

Instagram: wendytimmonsnyc

Periscope: @superv24

Twitter: @superv24

Light Bulb Moments

It is amazing when those light bulb moments occur. For me today one happened just as I woke and was doing the necessary actions you do in waking in the mornings!

Suddenly quite clearly I heard… ‘It is not about getting rid of the panic attacks and never getting them again, it is about living comfortably with them, to face it and work out the message (if any) and then carry on.’ Accept this is a part of me and let go. For me this was a HUGE thing as I have always come from the space of hating them, wanting to run away from them, ignoring it and hoping that the feelings I get before a panic whammy will go away and not turn into anything more. Has this worked for me? Not really considering it is heading close to the 20 year mark of having them and yes sometimes I deal with them better than other times but it is still a love/hate relationship leaning more towards the hate side of things.

I am getting better in that after that first initial rush of ‘I’m a panic attack sufferer, Get me out of here’ that I then try to stop and reign my inner Jaguar in and try to look at it properly, but those in the know, know that sometimes rational thinking gets thrown to the side and our inner instincts come out and makes it hard to stop the reaction we are so used to performing.

Today though and in these coming days, I am going to make a conscious effort to get to know my panic from a friendly perspective, I am going to realize it is okay if I get them, but then it is up to me on how much I let them control me and what I do about it. As I have definitely let them be the one in charge for a very long time. It is time to test those limits I have placed on myself – of where I can go and what I can do in the fear that it may bring out the beast known as panic. It is time to be gentle with me and my panic and know that it is okay.  It is time to trust in myself, and the universe that I am safe, protected and can trust.

It is time to curl up with my Jaguar and know that yes there is a time for running, there is a time to fight, but most importantly there is a time to curl up together and just enjoy.

This message also can be adapted to so many parts of my life, it doesn’t just have to be for panic attacks – it’s just that that happens to be a big thing for me right now, which I also need to let go of, as I am giving them more power by constantly thinking about it!

What parts of your life or yourself can you become friends with and learn to accept and let go of? There is always going to be something you don’t particularly like and so forth, but that is when it is most important to become friends with it and treat it like you would a child or a best friend… send some loving to those parts of you and watch them change!

Till next time… keep walking your spiritual path xx

JuliaBlog written by the magnificent Julia also known as Yellow Wolf.  Julia keeps her Left and Right hand side of the brain happy by being a successful business woman within the Mortgage Broking Industry and by having started her own Spiritual Practice.

Julia’s passion is to inspire those around her, with her own experiences as well as with daily inspiration and spiritual insight on her Facebook page.

Julia loves assisting clients and sharing her in depth knowledge to empower others.

You can find Julia on Facebook

Follow her Blogs here…

Happily ever after and other lessons I got from watching fairy tales.

I love fairy tales and watching movies with my children.  This evening we watched Cinderella. Not the animated movie but the real life Cinderella.

I know the story well. I read it often as a child and the lessons from this story never fail to inspire me.

In Cinderella’s story her mother dies, changing her life forever.  What she once knew as normal no longer is.

Consider this; What is a normal life?

You may have experienced sadness, grief, trauma or a little bit of lost-ness at some point in time.  You may have stuffed up big time or even forgotten your dreams.

In my own life I have experienced the loss of loves ones, children, broken marriages and even a little of myself. I have had  huge dreams and at times been to afraid to follow them. I have played small, hidden my brilliance for fear of being perceived arrogant. I’ve forgotten dreams or pushed them far inside a drawer never to see the light of day.

There have been times where I have questioned my existence and wondered about life.  At the end of the day no-one can be responsible for my dreams or your dreams, forgotten or hidden.

In the movie Cinderella’s mother leaves her with these words.  “What ever you do and what ever happens to you remember to have courage and be kind” 

These words become her guiding light. Treated badly by her step mother and steps sisters Cinderella continues to be kind. In her quite space (the attic) she remembers her dreams, the promises she made to her self, to her mother and her father and she recalls her past happy memories that provide her with hope for the future.

I’m here to tell you that if you had a time where you’ve been a Cinderella, been treated poorly, lost your hope or your dream, it’s time to rekindle the flame. Come out of hiding, shine your light, put on your glass slippers and follow your dream.

The story that many of you know, ends well. Cinderella’s prince finds her, but before he fits her with the glass slipper she stands before him, not in her beautiful glamorous ball gown but just as she is.

A commoner, a simple girl from the country who loves him,

Real. Authentic. True.

They kiss….. Aaaaaaw and walking from the room Cinderella forgives her wicked step mother.

Yes, she forgives her stepmother. Now that takes courage.

What are you holding onto that needs forgiveness? Give it some thought. Un-forgiveness can keep you from moving forward and stop you from living a life filled with peace.

Shit happens and often we are left worse for the wear. Heart broken, used and abused.  The choice to stay this way or hold on to the past is entirely up to you.

A quote I heard a few years ago and I still remember is this;

Un-forgiveness is like drinking poison and expecting the person who did you an injustice to die.

It’s never going to happen… the only person it harms is you.  Take my advice, grab a piece of paper and go and sit somewhere quite. Write down all the people who have wronged you, burn the paper or crinkle it up and throw it away.

Forgive them so you can move on.

Whether you choose to stay bruised, down and out or you continue to buy into the excuses as to why things never work out for you or you decide to tap into your courage, lift your head high and walk down the path with faith and trust that a new day will bring you one step closer to the real you – the amazing, gorgeous, brilliant YOU, created through trial and tribulation… is entirely up to you.

Your story can have a “happily ever after” too.

With a little bit of courage, a dash of kindness, a sprinkle of magic and forgiveness you can let go of the things that no longer serve you to create an ever after that helps you to become the person you were created to be.

Brenda AnnThis week’s blog was written by the amazing Brenda Tsiaousis.  Brenda is a Potentialist, Business Success Mentor and Connector of Dreams. Her mission is to empower women in business globally to realize their full potential as leaders and successful entrepreneurs using a potent combination of business strategy, mindset and incredible faith to quickly facilitate change, find their edge and grow their business. Hang out with Brenda on Facebook; or visit her website;

The Silent Warrior – Finding your wisdom

This is my personal truth.

It is said that we are living in the age of information.  So isn’t it amazing that in a world where there is an over-flow of information that so few people live in a state of wisdom?  What’s the difference you ask?  Knowledge is knowing, wisdom is living it.  I like to think of wisdom as knowledge in action.

I sometimes get the impression that there is simply too much knowledge available to people, their brains are literally over-stimulated on a continuous basis.  This leads to a situation whereby instead of embracing a specific area and becoming an expert, they simply feel overwhelmed and stay in a haze of average.  I have come to the conclusion that overwhelm is the virus keeping society in a diseased state of average.  Knowing a little about a lot, but not knowing a lot about a select few topics.  It is almost as if people fear becoming an expert in something because Oh My God, what am I losing out on???

I still feel that this is where we might have gone wrong.  In days past, people would apprentice and dedicate their entire lives to a specific craft.  The masters would really immerse themselves in this and make it their mission to know everything about their chosen field.  Continuously expanding it.  Staying curious.  Passionate.  Dedicated.  Committed (does this word even still exist in the modern day dictionary?)

Yet as technology advanced and people have more and more access to more and more, giving them limitless amounts of choices, majority of humanity seems to have lost their wisdom.  And now it’s almost as if they look around, try some things out, and if it is hard and doesn’t feel good immediately, they write it off and move on to the next thing.  I have news for you:  everything new is hard in the beginning.  Everything new feels uncomfortable in the beginning.  It’s called growth!

In many ways I’m grateful that I’m old fashioned when it comes to technology.  I don’t enjoy sitting on Google the way my kids do and cram my head full of knowledge about everything and anything.  Instead you will find me daily with a book on my chosen field of personal development.  It keeps me focused and I really get to absorb what the writer is trying to convey to me.  His / her personal methodologies and truths.

I have learned by now that humans are more complex than what most realize which means that methodologies cannot be applied literally.  No matter how highly I rate the expert in the field, their methods don’t always work for me.  Instead I need to take the underlying knowledge, and find a way to translate it into my personal wisdom.

Take for example the immense wisdom regarding the creative mind as given in the book “Grow Rich While You Sleep” by Ben Sweetland.  Mr Sweetland states that our most powerful entity is the creative (also known as the subconscious) mind which is best activated whilst the conscious mind is asleep.  Literally.  Now I agree with Ben that my creative mind is way more powerful than my conscious mind when it comes to my business and my coaching, in fact to my life in general.  But I don’t wake up with these insights the way that he did.  Instead, I have my greatest break-through ideas whilst training.  Not just any training.  Those really long sessions when I get past the chatter in my head and it goes quiet.  By the time I get to the finish I will normally have many solutions or ideas which I have previously struggled with.  Even this insight was gained on a run.

It got me thinking even further of how I have applied wisdom in my life, in ways that are quite possibly unique to me even if in small ways.  For instance, don’t ask me to meditate by focusing on my breath.  But give me some music to quiet my mind and I can go into the zone in no time.  Goal setting is highly effective, but don’t ask me to set goals for 20 years from now when I know I move mountains when I set 6 month goals instead.

The point of this blog today is this:  Use knowledge to find your own wisdom in a way that feels right for you.  Don’t take knowledge so literal, instead get the core of the message and see how you can live it in your life and then actually apply it!  It is no use that your head is crammed full of knowledge yet your actions are that of an uneducated person.

And limit your choices by focusing on mastery.  If this seems like a big ask, then try it for 6 months and see how or if your life changes.  After all, this is my personal truth and might not be yours.  But you will never find your personal truth unless you try on another person’s version.  Every master had to start somewhere – and that somewhere was by observing another master.

Walk with honor.

If my work resonates with you, you might want to check out my services here.

The Silent Warrior – Calling My Tribe

This is my personal truth.

Dear Warrior Maiden

It is time to take up your arms and fight to heal the Earth!

For so long have our voices been suppressed by a society where conformity is enforced and those who dare stand out are viciously pulled back down.

Those with fire and purpose persevere and get above the reach of those who hate them.  I thank them for setting the way for us.  But they have been the minority.

It’s time for change.

It is time for the women of this world to stop their shit and live their purpose.  It’s time for us to stand together as a tribe, support each other, encourage each other, and fight next to each other.  I don’t care what you look like or what your voice sounds like.  I don’t care if your weapon is coaching, or bringing beauty through design, or healing through massage or yoga.  I care that you use your weapon despite what others may call you.

For those who work so hard to hate us, fuck you!  You can take your judgement and shove it up your arse!  Because YOU are killing our children!  YOU are creating a world where our youth are so despondent that they would rather end their lives than see the possibilities the future may hold.  Because you judge their experimentation and expression of themselves.  You with your high and mighty stance that if someone looks different they are evil.  When will you realize that YOU are the only fucking evil in this world!!!  The next generation of souls are evolved way past our understanding, yet you try to put them into your tiny little boxes and put them on drugs so that they can behave in a way with which you can cope.  Your judgement and rules are suffocating our children.

Enough and no more!

Rise with me sisters!  For our children do not yet have the worldly experience and tools needed to win this fight for themselves.

Rise with me sisters!  Take up your arms and use your beautiful gifts to heal the world.  To give the next generation hope so that they will push through the bullshit they are being fed from the moment they can hear, find their own gifts and live magnificent lives of purpose, focus and passion.

Rise with me sisters!  Because standing alone we can heal a city, but standing together we can heal the world!

Rise with me sisters!  For our future depends on us.

Walk with honor.

The Silent Warrior

The Silent Warrior – You called me a what?

This is my personal truth.

I’ve always known that I didn’t conform to the average by which I was surrounded.  I have never been able to just do what I’m told if it didn’t make sense to me, or if there was a deep knowing inside of me that what I was told to do had more to do with another person’s ego than what was good for me.

It started with ‘cheeky’, it progressed to ‘bitch’, and this week-end I was even called a ‘father-fucker’ to my face.  Well technically he was right.  I do have two amazing boys and I love making love to the man who fathered them.  But I’m sure we both know that is not what was meant.

Here is what I have learned in my 43 years of existence about these names that people give us.

First of all, sociology teaches us that every society requires rules to keep us safe and to maintain peace.  Personal opinion:  the current rules are not fucking working anymore people!!!  The rules I see enforced on us from childhood is more about fitting in (a box) than keeping us safe.  More about having everyone ‘feeling good about themselves’ than to promote an evolving society.  Personally, I can’t remember when last I went to bed ‘feeling safe’ but that is for another blog.

There is a psychological methodology called personal construct theory.  It states that in order for people to make sense of their world, they form constructs (basic ideas) on which everything else is build.  The more we experience and expand our lives and our worlds, the more constructs we have available to us and the bigger our world.  Nice in theory – not so nice in a society filled with mediocrity where a lot of people appear to be resistant to new learning and expansion of their personal truths.  They have one box into which everything must fit otherwise it’s considered as ‘wrong’.

What I’m finding is that a large portion of our population have basic labels (constructs) for other people.  When the people are ‘nice’ and they ‘like’ them because they do  what they are told to do to fit in with everyone else, they are given ‘nice’ labels e.g. ‘she is such a good girl / good mother / good wife / caring and giving woman’.  These labels are given to encourage more of the same behavior.  But heaven forbid you should not fit into those predetermined constructs and they simply cannot make head or tail of you true brilliance!  They will call you a bitch / a whore / a slut / greedy / obstinate.  If you are a powerful woman, I’m sure you can add a few more.

And guess when we are given these labels?  When we stand out from the crowd.  When we do things differently.  When we no longer buy into the bullshit we’ve been fed our entire lives and instead find our own voices.  When we stand up for ourselves and our loved ones.  When we refuse to be held down any longer.  When we do not back down.  And yes, it is still much worse for women than it is for men even in this day and age.  Go figure…

But words have no power unless you give them power.  They have no meaning except for the meaning you assign to them.  So let those who do not understand your brilliance label you.  You were never born to accumulate ‘nice’ labels.  You were born to change the world into a better place.  Let those who cannot comprehend the power that is within you label you with whatever words they so desire.  Continue pushing the envelope.  Continue to live beyond the realm of constructs.  Your soul is the entire universe and the entire universe is your soul.  Whose mind can possibly comprehend the enormity of that power?

So call me whatever you want.  For all the constructs in the world cannot possibly encompass my magnificence.  And your labels are meaningless in my purpose to inspire.

Call me whatever you want.  I am beyond the scope of your words.

Walk with honor.

If my work resonates with you, you might want to check out my services here.

The Silent Warrior – What if?

This is my personal truth.

With the SkyRun no longer happening this year, and with the move to New Zealand, I have taken the last couple of weeks a notch down replacing my rigorous training with relaxed runs with my puppies.  No heart rate monitor, no tracking of time, distance, speed.  Nothing.  Just running for the pure pleasure of running.

It’s interesting what we can learn when we stay in the moment and open our eyes and our minds.  I have learned so much about myself and society in general simply by observing my dogs.  Chrissie specifically, as she is truly her mother’s daughter.  Strong-willed, feisty, not giving a shit about the rules of how she is supposed to behave.  I’m sure you can understand why I adore her!

I used to run with her on a leash.  She would strain against that rope with all her strength, pulling me along, getting frustrated with my pace if I wasn’t going fast enough.  Getting annoyed when I wanted to keep going and she wanted to investigate a peculiar smell or whatever else wanted her attention.  She was also extremely aggressive, barking at everyone who would dare come close to us and I’m sure she tried to nip a couple of other dogs.

Then one day I decided screw it, and I took her off the leash.  OMG the pure joy that radiated off my puppy as she ran at inhuman speeds!  To this day I am in awe of watching her when she is allowed to do her own thing.  She will dash off, go explore but never losing sight of me.  Sniff around until she is satisfied with what is going on then dash back to me.  I have learned to just keep going at my own pace and trust that she will always return.  She is also a lot less aggressive when she is free.  Oh don’t get me wrong!  She is still extremely cheeky and won’t let any dog intimidate her, no matter what their size!  But she will give her loud opinion and then keep going.  It is as if the leash constrained her and made her fearful and the only way she could react was through aggression!

I realized this week that so many of us are like Chrissie.  I know I can only speak for myself, but living on the leash of societal rules just never worked for me!  I was frustrated with the pace.  I was frustrated with not being able to stop and explore whenever I wanted to.  I was frustrated with the direction I was supposed to go into.  And I was a real aggressive bitch because being this ‘nice’ girl so that others would like me left me open to being hurt all the time.

We were born pretty fucking perfect.  And then we get told that we don’t fit into the mold of perfection as decided by some asinine unseen power of man.  We always have the wrong skin color no matter what the color.  We are overweight or underweight.  We don’t start talking early enough.  Then we talk too much.  We don’t start walking at the right age.  Then we walk too fast / too slow / like a duck.  We don’t think enough.  We think too much, question too much.  We should move our asses.  We should sit still otherwise we have ADD.  We should have a boyfriend, we should be single.  We should be married, we should get divorced.  We should have 2.5 children.  We should have a steady job.  We should be an entrepreneur.  WTF?!  Is it any wonder that society is filled with aggressive bitches on a leash of frustration????

My LifeMy ChoicesWhat would happen if you took the leash off?

Don’t get me wrong – when you have been on a leash your entire life, it is bloody scary at first.  Other dogs and their owners will be very quick to tell you to get back into your place!  Put the leash back on!  What the hell were you thinking?

But oh, the freedom of running at your own pace.  The freedom of exploring and thinking for yourself and being willing to take chances and live life on your own rules, it’s nothing short of miraculous.

I believe that this is what the Universe intended for us in the first place.  To explore life and the world with an energy of joy instead of this horrendous auto-pilot martyrdom which most humans seem to be living.

As I continue my journey off my leash, I’m finding more and more amazing women along the way who have broken free as well.  They are fighting for a change in the world so that more people can live freely, wake up with joy, create a better earth for everyone.

I don’t want my children to live on a leash one day.  Do you?

Walk with honor.

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The Silent Warrior – Remembering My Balls

This is my personal truth.

When you find yourself sitting in front of your journal at 1 am, merely hours from driving to the Sky Run training camp, you know that you had better dig deep because your Soul is trying to get through to your mind.

Ever since I had faced my demons at Sky Run 2014, I have been preparing to conquer this particular beast this year.  I have sacrificed rest to train, stayed focused and dedicated all this time, and I was ready to go go go!

Yet life has the amazing ability to continuously change and bring new wonders and adventures.  And this has been one of the most exciting years of my life – EVER!  I have up-skilled myself through an international academy, taken my business from local to global, and the cherry on top:  manifested a move to New Zealand!  All of this whilst staying on top of being a mom, wife, daughter, athlete, full-time entrepreneur, kick-ass woman…

But sitting with my pen lightly flowing over the page and seeing the words appear, I am reminded of my balls.

jugglerApproximately ten years ago I came to the conclusion that this life is all about juggling balls.  Most people only have a couple of balls, and they juggle mindlessly in robotic fashion.  Some people have lots of balls and look completely frantic and out of control.  And then you get the master jugglers:  the elite performers who have mastered the skill of juggling numerous balls at any given time, looking relaxed as each briefly touches their hands before being guided back into the air.  And as you become more skilled, you can start adding balls, touching each for a slightly shorter time.  As dynamic warriors we become used to juggling at high speed, and it becomes our norm so at times we’re not even aware of exactly how many balls are in the air at any given time.

Thing is:  all master jugglers still drop balls.  Like all elite cyclists still fall off their bikes.  All pro trail runners still fall and scrape their knees.  Shit happens.

This brings me to the next insight:  We have rubber balls and glass balls.

Rubber balls are colorful and add variety and spice to life.  You can drop rubber balls and they will either roll away and go lie in the corner, ready to be picked up again at another time, or bounce and you can catch them and continue the motion.

Glass-Ball-of-Life-WallpaperBut glass balls are perishable.  If dropped and you are lucky,  they will crack.  You can pick them up and continue juggling, but they are forever changed and you know if you drop them again it will be the end of them.  In my experience though, when dropped, these balls shatter and no amount of glue can put them back together again.

In my life I have 3 glass balls:  my marriage, my family, my health.  My three most treasured balls which take priority above all else!  And when life gets super exciting and I am juggling numerous balls and find that there is even a remote chance of missing a beat, I will drop those rubber balls like hot potatoes and refocus on my glass balls first.

On the 23rd of October 2015 at 1:30 am, I realized that the SkyRun is a rubber ball, and my family needed me now!

Let me first explain how amazing my family is:  they support me in my crazy endeavors NO MATTER WHAT.  They never  ask me to give up on any of my dreams, and they never share their concerns about me with me.  Yet the response when I let them know that I was staying at home was an extremely audible sigh of relief.  That was when I realized that right now, my boys need me to be at home and hold them at night.  They need to not worry about what happens to me in the mountain whilst they are studying for exams and packing up to move.  My husband needs me to stay in one piece and get the family across the ocean safely so that our little unit can be whole once again.  My folks need me to relax with them on the remaining week-ends, eating good steak and drinking beer.

Make no mistake!  Putting a rubber ball down is NOT easy.  Especially not one that you have been keeping in the air for 11 months!  However, my glass balls need my unwavering attention right now, and that is what they will get.

I am truly a believer in the fact that we can have our cake and eat it.  We can have anything we desire in life.  But I have also learned along the way that I’m not a sprinter – I’m an endurance athlete.  And in the race we call life, I’m quite happy to go at a slower pace and really enjoy the journey.  I will get to everything that I want to – I will even become a Sky Runner one day.  It might not be in the Drakensburg, it might be in another mountain.  But this particular rubber ball will stay by my feet until one day I am ready to pick him up again.

When last have you taken the time to look at all the balls you are juggling? When last have you named them?  When last have you identified rubber vs glass?  When last have you taken stock?

Don’t wait until 1 am!  Because when you drop a glass ball and it shatters, you will regret expecting all balls to bounce back.

Walk with honor.

The Silent Warrior – The Kitten Finds Her Roar

This is my personal truth.

43 today.  Fuck, it feels amazing.

Journaling this morning was given to reflection of what it took for me to get to this point.

Strangely, I have always felt that I was born in the wrong place, into the wrong culture.  It is really no wonder that I was constantly in shit.

For as long as I can remember I questioned the rules and found them fucked up.  I never understood why children should not be heard, why we had to respect our elders when majority of them clearly showed no respect to us, why women should be subservient – barefoot and pregnant in the kitchen.  I didn’t believe in corporal punishment and saw it as a weakness on the side of the adult who could not contain their own temper.

In a culture that demands unconditional submission, I’m sure you can understand why I received so many hidings both physically and emotionally.  Finally I gave up – gave in to the idea that you can’t fart against thunder.  And so I would give soft meows when I wanted to say something and purred when I received approval.

I was playing by the rules and I fucking hated the game.

Then, after 40, something began to change.  I was no longer satisfied with empowering others but still seeking approval in my own life.  Approval from those I love and those that I didn’t know from a bar of soap.  I thought that in order for me to be accepted in the professional arena, I had to speak like a lady, behave like a lady, surround myself with other ladies.

But what if the lady was not a pussy cat?  What if instead she was an amazingly powerful lion???  What if she was so passionate that fucked up societal rules to keep you in your place (they call it respect) could no longer contain her?  What if she could strut into the arena with her head held high and just not give a shit if strangers could not see her beauty, her grace, her power – just because it made the other cats look like pussies?  And what would happen the day that she roared??

That is exactly what happened to me this year and it was magical.

What I found was that there is an entire pride of lionesses out there that was waiting for me to find my voice!  A pride who have stepped into their personal power and like me, questioned what they have been told for so long.  A pride that called out to me and took me into their circle without hesitation or judgement.  I am finally home.

The world has more than enough pussies.  And the fact of the matter is, that holistically, things are not working because the rules that have governed our behaviour for so long, does not make sense to the younger generations and therefore have a negative effect on society as a whole.  Instead the world needs more lionesses who will tap into their power, gracefully say ‘fuck it’, and have their unique voices heard.

I know that not everyone will understand this blog.  And please don’t get me wrong – I completely respect the fact that we are all different.  Some people thrive in the safety of the rules.  They have a desire to fit in and not upset the apple cart.  That is perfect too – as long as they are being authentic to their true selves.  Nature has more varieties of animals than we even know of, and humans are as diverse and unique.  There is place for all of us.

At age 43 I am finally free from wearing the suffocating masks.  No, not everyone likes me.  And that is okay with me.  I wasn’t born to be a people pleaser.  Love me or hate me, you will never forget me.

i AMBecause today I am woman – hear me ROAR!!!