The Will To Win In Every Area Of Your Life

Are you sick and tired of sitting down and trying to figure shit out?

Are you done with feeling like you keep following the steps that’s so clearly working for others yet which delivers no results for you?

Are you still hungry for success?

Are you ready to win?

Then I’m going to give you the same advise I’ve given every executive, leader, high flying entrepreneur and creative I’ve ever coached.

Start learning differently.

Understand that these boys and girls bring me in because there’s some serious shit going down in the company they’re struggling to get through.  Or they want to launch something brand new and have hit a block on how to do it in a way that brings phenomenal results.  Or maybe they’ve just had it with their team and they don’t know what else to do to get better results from them.

I listen to their greatest frustrations and real life problems.  I assess the structure of the departments, the personalities involved in their teams, their strengths and areas of improvement.  Then I look at their physical condition and where they’re at mentally.  We set the outcome goals desired in their business and then I inevitably drop the bomb “Pick your poison of sport and enter an endurance race”.

Never what they expect and yes I absolutely get resistance.  They don’t have time (have I seen their calendar??), they haven’t trained in years, maybe they’ll consider just doing a little 5 km race, it’s not on the current agenda, and on it goes.

But I’m relentless because I know that the learning they will get in doing the race is far greater than any degree.  There is magic in doing endurance racing.  A fact that all my clients who embrace this will attest to.  Because every time they come back from the race, they are their next level self.  And the company goals get smashed in record time.

So let me share some of my learning with you and you can figure out if I’m crazy or if it’s time for you to set that endurance race goal.  Whatever I’m sharing I want you to keep asking, how can I apply this to business?

First things first – the reason I go for the long races is simple: it’s a different mind-set and personality who does the more challenging distances plus the course designers assume you’re more competent so they throw in more technical shit.

People who generally do the fun runs are there for just that – fun.  They chat along the way.   They train when the weather is nice and they’ve had a good night’s sleep and the kids have been little angels and life is just hunkey dorey.

Those who go for endurance are all in.  You train regardless of the weather, the kids, how much sleep you’ve had.  You know the race is going to hurt like a mofo and every session you choose to miss is weakness you bring to the line.  By the way, you can even spot them in the short distance races as doing short races is part of the strategy to do the long ones.  But they don’t walk and they don’t chat.  They are focused and pushing and strategizing all the way.

Secondly my clients are generally high achievers and I know that they will be willing to endure shit tons for feeling accomplished.  You simply don’t feel the same from completing the short distance with hundreds if not thousands of people compared to the long distance which always has fewer numbers.  The longer the distance the smaller the number of participants.  You want to be part of the 1% of the 1%.  Not just another 1.

So let’s jump to the actual day.

Any endurance athlete will tell you that the hardest part of the journey is actually getting to the start line.  The amount of hours you’ve had to put in can be quite astonishing for most people.  Each hour of training represents way more than what appears to be fun to outsiders.  You’ve had to sacrifice something along the way to be out there.  Whether that sacrifice was sleep, spending extra time in bed with your partner, the last episode of Game of Thrones, the party all your mates went to last night which you knew was not even an option if you were to get out today.  You’re also sacrificing pretty dresses and spending thousands on make-up because majority of your money is spent on equipment, race entry fees, coaching fees, supplements, rehabilitation sessions – the list goes on and on.  Sacrifice is part of the game.

Training HURTS!  There’s intervals, power training, endurance training, tempo training.  Physically you’re hurting most of the time.  Actually that’s bullshit – except for the few minutes warming up, you hurt all the time.

Training means training your mind.  You know that you will never finish that race unless you believe you can.  And quite frankly Darling that takes a strong mind.  Your mind will give up long before your body – this is a fact. You stop the moment the voice in your head says “I’m done”.  Game over.  Never before that.  So you have to train that bitch and control her to do your bidding.

Standing on that start line there’s a level of respect between the competitors that you won’t find anywhere else.  You look around and you truly SEE people for who they are.  You don’t just see the skinny bodies – you see the hours of dedication, sacrifice, determination, focus.   You see them raw – trust me, everyone is shitting themselves.  You see magnificence.  Whether they get to the finish line today or not doesn’t matter.  They’ve earned the right to stand next to you.  And you bow down to that with respect (of course also mentally comparing yourself and picking at least one that you’re determined to beat to the finish line.  Oh come on!  It’s fun!)

Then the gun goes off and so do you.  Adrenaline wants to take over and this is your first call to discipline and strategy.  You have to know yourself, what’s your strength and what’s your weakness?  I know I’m slow as shit, but I’m a diesel engine baby.  I can keep going at the same pace for-fucking-ever.  I’ve learned that getting caught up in the excitement of the start and going balls to the walls bites me in the ass every time.  I blow and then my goose is cooked.  So I slow down to speed up.  This is MY race!

Oh that’s the other thing.  Most people who do endurance races are NOT there to compete against others.  They are ultimately there to compete against themselves.  Against the pain in their bodies.  The pain in their minds.  How far and how hard can they push themselves today?  Which obstacles can they overcome?  Which barriers can they break through?

Then there’s the journey that happens on the race.  There’s an emotional roller coaster that you won’t find anywhere else.

You start off feeling like the Hulk – Yeah, I’m invincible.  I’ve got this!

Then creeps in the lows – OMG this is hurting so much, everyone is overtaking me, I’m such a loser, of fuck I don’t think I can make it to the end.

There’s hope – Wooohoooo a water table!  I’ve made it to the water table.  Oh thank you God for the water table.

Anger – who the fuck designed this course?  I’m going to kill the asshole.  What were they thinking adding all these hills?  Inconsiderate bastards.

Determination – I will show you motherfuckers!  You’re not going to beat me today.

More hope – only 5 kms to go.  I can do this.  Fuck yeah!  I’ve got this bitch.  All the way, all the way.

The darkness – I can’t do it.  So near yet so far.  Where’s the fucking end????  They said only 2 more kilometers and I swear I’ve done another 5.  Lying bastards.  It hurts so much.  I don’t want to do this anymore.  Where’s my mommy?

Along the way you see others ending the journey due to injury or fatigue.  Not all days are created equal.  Every athlete knows this.  Every athlete knows that you can do all the preparation, all the work, and on the day something goes wrong and it’s just game over.  Your heart goes out to these athletes.  You always call out to them, acknowledging how far they’ve come.  There’s so much camaraderie and compassion on these races.  Nobody ever relishes in the failure of another.  There’s a lot humanity can learn here.

And then, finally, you hear it.  The music playing.  The voice over the speaker system.

Oh,

Thank you God!

I

Can

Do

This!

You dig deeper than you thought you had.  Your legs pick up speed.  You have no idea where the strength is coming from, but it’s there.  It’s been there all along.  You just had to get rid of all the BS stories and the ego to uncover it.

When you get to that finish line the crowd goes wild.  They don’t care how long it’s taken you.  They don’t care what position you came in.  In fact with majority of the seriously hard-core races you will find the winners back at the finish line to honor the last athlete.  Because they know it hurt that warrior way more.  We acknowledge that at endurance races.

There’s the elation – that lasts about 5 seconds by the way.  I’m not even kidding.

The last bit of adrenaline soaks the ground around you and the real pain sets in.  You crumble to the floor and you promise yourself and everyone around you that you will NEVER do this crazy shit again.  You’re done!  You’re hanging up the boots.

Three days later you’re sitting on Google looking for the next race.  That’s the true addiction of accomplishment.

Shit this piece is getting long and I can say so much more.  I can write a book!  Maybe that’s what I’ll do.

But are you starting to get it?  Can you see how all of this can be applied to every one of your goals, whether in business or your relationships or your lifestyle?

Do you get it?

Can you see why the CEO of a multi-million dollar company will come back from this event and walk into that boardroom a changed man?  A wiser, more powerful man.   A man who’s in it for the long haul and thinks strategy rather than adrenaline.  Because somewhere along the line he stopped comparing himself to the rest of the field and went inside.  Understanding that nobody is going to get him to the finish line other than himself.

If you don’t, get on a call with me and I’ll help you connect the dots because this shit is life changing.

Stop looking around you!  Fucking nobody is going to make you successful.  That’s all up to you Darling.

Yes people can share with you what has worked for them.  But personally very little of what works for others works for me and I’m willing to bet you’re the same.

That’s because you’re a leader, not a follower.

You’re a creator not a consumer.

When will you take the plunge and start the journey to your endurance race?  Because you and I both know it all starts with a decision.  A decision to say HELL YES to yourself and getting the fuck out of your comfort zone.  It’s about embracing the learning and the journey and a willingness to face your own demons.

I can guarantee it will hurt.

I can guarantee it will change you.

If not now, then when?

If not you, then why the fuck not?

Death is inevitable.   Thriving is a choice.

 

With love,

A

PS:   Not quite ready for this extreme but wanting to take a first step in connecting the dots and starting the power of unlocking your wisdom?  Then SQUAT is for you Darling.  In 5 weeks I will take you through a structured program of working up to 250 squats working on mind-set, goal setting, uncovering your big why, and so much more.  Check out SQUAT today and let’s start your journey.  Don’t be put off by the ridiculously low price.  This program works!

 

 

 

 

Is your beast asleep?

Ready to get your buttons pushed Darling?

I mean really pushed.

I mean having you walk away from this calling me a bitch.

If not, then don’t even read any further.

Cause I tell you what – I’m going to write this just for me (yes, I’ve had my ass handed to me and I’m going all out on myself) and you can choose whether the shoe fits or not.

This is going to be raw and real.  I’m not holding back and I’m not censoring myself because I know I can handle a good ass whipping.

I’ve got my glass of wine – how about you?

Deep breath.

Here we go.

Dear Anel,

Holy shit girl.  When the fuck did you become such a whimp?  When did you walk away from the mirror with your shoulders slumped over because you were just fucking exhausted of the fight.

Don’t you dare turn away from me.

You know what I’m talking about.

You’ve become soft.

You’ve started saying the right shit at the right time so people would stop spitting in your face.  You’ve stopped challenging the living hell out of your body because your mind has become soft.  You’ve stopped challenging people because you got tired of being called a selfish, inconsiderate little bitch who shame others for not showing up as their absolute best because we live in an average (choke) society where nobody is expected to be magnificent, powerful.

And you knew, you knew, that the only way you could live with the disgusting bile of average in your throat was to become average yourself.

So that’s what you did.

You get up and sit like a princess in your bed waiting for your cup of coffee to journal in a pretty pink book instead of hitting the pavement, freezing your ass off whilst pushing your legs to the point of exhaustion.  You drive in your air-conditioned car to yoga class and only do the poses that you’re confident in – hardly breaking a sweat.

Are you kidding me – you still can’t do crow pose after five months.

What.  The.  Fuck.

What happened to the bad-ass who overcame EVERYTHING in four months to become an IronMan when everyone else said it’s just not possible.  That your body is just too broken.  That you’re just too old to learn these skills.  That you have to be a responsible mother.  That you have a business to run.  That you don’t have the time.  Blah fucking blah.

You proved them wrong.

You got up at 3 am and hit the pavements in the dark on your bike.  Music pumping loud so you couldn’t hear the taxis trying to push you off the road.  You used your fear of being hijacked to NEVER slow down.  To not stop at the robots but to take your life in your own hands just to take it to the next level.

You cried.

You threw up.

You bled.  A lot.

You dealt with looking like a complete ass.

You collapsed in exhaustion.

And then you got up and you put in a full day in your business.

Never dropping a ball.

Why not?

Because you were breaking the glass ceiling of average.

You left behind every person who did not support you.  Adios Monchachos.

You went to bed at 7 pm spent but satisfied.

You stopped wasting time channel hopping and jammed your mind with inspiration every possible minute.

You never needed a group to motivate you.  Your passion was your motivation.

You never needed an alarm clock to wake you.  Your hunger for success woke you.

You never gave a shit what others called you because you knew you weren’t doing this for brownie points.  You did it because you knew in your heart that doing anything less, settling for anything less, was sacrilege.  And your soul hungers for an extraordinary life.

What will it take to reawaken the beast?

Who will you have to loose?  Other than yourself.  Because let me tell you right now, right here, that you have abandoned yourself.  You have given up on your truth.  You’re not showing the fuck up.  You’re not being true to your magnificence.

How much longer Anel?

How much longer will you settle?

How much longer will you fit in?

You’ve been to the door of death before.  You chose to live.  Yet here you are.  One foot in.  One foot out.

You’re sliding Anel.

You’re sliding.

Wake.

The.

Fuck.

Up.

It’s not just your life that is at stake.  You’re here to make an  impact.  You’re here to change lives.  Your mission, your purpose, matters.

What are you going to do Anel?

Time to choose.

What say you?

 

Dear Higher Self,

ROAAAAAARRRRRR Bitch!

You’re right.

I got tired.  I got tired of the pain: physically, mentally, emotionally.  I got tired of saying goodbye to my ‘friends’ and going it alone.

I got tired of doing the work.

The real work.

The hardcore mind-set work.

The discipline.

The dedication.

The determination of hunting down the challenges because NOTHING would stop me.

But you know what – the exhaustion of the doing the work pales in comparison to the torture of living average.  Of only doing one thing at a time.  Of moving slow on my goals.  Of doing it the way everyone else does it.

Because this is NOT what I was born for.

I was born to challenge the system, the beliefs that keep humanity calm, the professionals telling us what is and what is not possible.

Nobody can tell me what I can or can’t do.

They don’t know me.

They don’t know what I’m able to endure.

They don’t know who I am.

They don’t see the warrior in me standing up to the storm and embracing the force of the wind as my next level power.

They don’t see the love for all in my heart that says I will never ask of others what I’m not prepared to ask of myself.

They don’t know that it’s this love that I’m prepared to die for.  For my life was never for me but for those I am here to serve.

And you’re right.  My people do not respond to the soft purring of a kitten.  My people stand in their own storm and the only sound that penetrates the chaos is the roar of the beast.

I’m sorry.

I’m sorry that I sat down.  I’m sorry that I gave up – for a while anyway.  I’m sorry that I chose the easy way – for a while anyway.  I’m sorry that I did not fully show up for those that I’m here to serve.  I’m sorry that I went into hiding – from you, from them, from myself.

Enough and no more.

I will rise.

I will challenge my mind and my body every single day.

My failure will be part of my victory.

My pain will be part of my power.

My story will give others permission to declare “fuck mediocrity” and break through their own glass ceilings.  They will raise their standards for themselves because they can and nobody will be able to stop them.

You want to hear me roar?

Beast.

Mode.

On.

PS:  A heartfelt thanks to Clinton and my coach for holding up the mirror so I could see how far down the rabbit hole my ass has slid.  No more guys.

PPS:  I know the hardest part is getting started.  The hardest part is having the courage to get raw and real with yourself and up your game 100X.  Because nobody expects it from you.  Hell most people look at you and wonder how the hell you do what you do.  But you know that you’re playing at 10% of your capacity.  And here’s the deal Darling, I don’t expect you to jump from 10% to 100%, but even an extra 5% will make one hell of a difference to your life.  If you’re at the point of enough and no more and you KNOW that you’re not going to make the jump on your own, then be the achiever that says yes to getting support.  I’m not for everyone.  Hell I scare myself sometimes (refer to my philosophy that fear is a compass to growth).  But get someone.  And if I’m speaking your language then you have options to work with me.  Hit me a mail at anel@anelbester.com and let’s see the best way to get you from where you are to where you want to be.  Because SPECTACULAR looks so much better on you.

 

 

What’s the real deal with discomfort?

Why are we keeping people docile?

Why’s there a prevalent fear to speak personal truth knowing that feathers will be rustled but, on the other side of the coin, passions will be lit?

I believe it’s time that we as leaders start standing up and speak our truth to give people the discomfort to stop and think.

I completely understand that discomfort is, well, uncomfortable.  Nobody enjoys it.  Myself included.  I’m the first one to have a passionate up-flare to something that rubs me up the wrong way, but I’ve also learned that there’s something in there that warrants investigation.

Why this rant?

At a recent workshop I kicked the hornets nest by challenging current paradigms.  I truly believe that every person walking on the face of the earth, is fucking AWESOME with unlimited potential.  I don’t care what your background is, what your educational level is, what your title is, what your bank balance is.

YOU ROCK DARLING!

I won’t treat you differently if you’re driving a Porsche or taking the bus.  I respect you way too much to do that.

I believe that you’re a born leader and as such you have certain responsibilities.

You are responsible to know yourself – your values, your passion, your mission.

You are responsible to take excellent care of yourself physically so you have the maximum amount of stamina and clarity of mind to bring your A-game every day.

You are responsible for ensuring quality relationships – from your Creator to your best mate and everyone in-between.

You have a responsibility to be the BEST in the world in your chosen field and that means comparing yourself to the best of the best to continuously identify where else you can grow.

Above all, I believe you have a responsibility to be authentic – warts and all.  And to speak your truth no matter how uncomfortable things might get.

One of the exercises I gave the attendees was to think of a role model, someone they consider to be a top leader in the world.  Their task was then to identify how they are showing up in comparison.  Are they playing full out or are they only performing to minimum acceptable standards.   Pens moved eagerly across pages with satisfied looks all around.

That’s when I threw out “How would you compare to someone like Richard Branson for instance”.

Silence.

Pens dropped and so did faces.

“Well now that changes the picture completely” one brave soul ventured.  “Why?”  I was curious.   “Because he’s at the top of his game isn’t he?” was the reply.  “So then my question to you is, why wouldn’t you compare yourself to someone at the top of his game?  Why would you compare yourself to someone who is just one step ahead?”  There was a truly uncomfortable silence in the room.

Boom – I had them thinking.

This is where an interesting dynamic showed up – one came to everyone’s rescue!  “Of course not everyone needs to be a Richard Branson.  Or maybe you could look at where he was at the beginning of his career for a comparison”.

A sigh of relief – they were off the hook.

Why on earth would we make it okay for leaders to lower the bar for themselves?  How is this raising the standards for all of humanity back to BIW (Best In World) if we don’t truly aim to be BIW but just Better than the Average around Me?

In truth what this was really about for me was the discomfort felt in the uncomfortable silence.  Personally I was prepared to sit there for an hour to let the message really sink in.  I’m done with people claiming that they’re no different from anyone else but then lowering the standards for themselves so they never have to shine.  This is a really huge issue for me.

I think this is exactly why we live in a society where most people are walking around in a trance purely existing!  Because the truth of the matter is that our emotions drive us.  ALL of our emotions.  Not just the nice emotions.  Not just the comfortable emotions.  They don’t put passion in your arteries.

Discomfort is an opportunity for introspection.  It’s an opportunity to look at our triggers and ask ourselves what’s that really all about?  It’s the time when we get to really investigate our beliefs.  If they feel good to us, if they’re rock solid, we will have even more conviction after giving it some thought.  And if not, then this is a rare chance to change that which no longer serves us.

Yet none of this is possible if we’re constantly making things easy for people.  You don’t get strong through easy.  And it’s time for strong to come back because weak is fucking killing us!

What am I really trying to get across today?

My message for you today is that if you’re reading this you are a born leader.  No that doesn’t mean society needs to give you a special title or a pay raise.  Wanting those things before showing up fully is a cop-out and you know it.

It means that you’re here to start figuring out your purpose, your unique gifts that you bring to us, your truth, your values, and you have a responsibility to do the fucking work so you can start showing up as your best version, authentic, no more hidden sides, self.  It’s time for the leaders to be seen and by example inspire others to look inwards and raise their standards for themselves, do the work and step up.

Is everyone going to like you?  Hell no.

Are you going to be pulled aside and asked to please only speak about certain things because the whole of you is making others uncomfortable?  I would be surprised if you weren’t.

Being a leader is by no means easy.  When I asked the room who wanted to be a leader everyone raised their hands.  When I started getting real about what that could look like the hands came down one by one.  In the end only one stood.

Are you truly brave enough to accept your potential role as a leader?

Because if you are it’s time to stand up Darling.

What are you waiting for?

My challenge to you today is to have a closer look at your life and identify the areas where you’re not stepping up as a leader.  Where are you playing smaller than your true potential because you’re not comparing yourself to the best in the world but the best of the average?  Where are you staying comfortable by surrounding yourself with comforters?

And what the hell are you going to do about it?

Death is inevitable.  Thriving is a choice.

With love,

Anel

PS:  I happen to know that one of the reasons why leaders work with coaches and mentors is to stay out of their comfort zone whilst being supported at the same time.  To be held to a standard that nobody else has the balls to hold them to.  If you’re a born leader and you know that I’m the coach to raise your standards to excellence, to support you in dropping the bullshit, leave behind mediocrity and fully go full out in your life, then let’s connect.  Drop me a mail at anel@anelbester.com or book a consult here.

Harnessing the power which resides within your pain

I’m not really sure how many people will truly get this piece.  Everything that I’m about to share with you sounds completely insane to the average person.

I believe we’ve got this amazing feedback system residing within us which brings all the information that we need to go to the next level in our lives, become high achieving, completely fulfilled, successful bad-asses.

It’s called pain.

Pain’s been given a bad rap over the lifetime of humanity.  From the time we start crawling our mothers try desperately to protect us from experiencing pain, teaching us that it’s to be avoided at all costs.  I get it – I did the same with my boys and continue the struggle to let them get hurt even though I know how valuable the learning.

Yet if we’re never allowed to freely experience pain, how do we ever get the true messages that she has for us?  How do we ever get to understand her language and start harnessing a mind-set whereby we can not only redefine her, but use her to our betterment?

I first discovered the power of pain and how to change the conditioning of decades on my bike (where else?).  Remarkably I remember the instant with crystal clarity.  I was about 70 kilometers in on a solo endurance ride.  The road was undulating (if you live in Joburg, I was out in the Cradle heading back towards the lion park going anti-clockwise) and the headwind was a constant force to be battled with.

My legs were burning like crazy yet they refused to slow down – pumping out a tempo with determination.  I was looking at them in a state of wonderment and asked myself “What does this pain really mean?   Why is my body actively seeking to hurt right now?”  In my mind I saw a picture of a steam engine, the fires being stoked thereby generating more and more power for the train to pick up speed.  That’s it!  Pain = electric impulses firing on all cylinders which is giving my body the power, the endurance, the speed to win the race.

An insight the members of my spinning classes greatly cursed as I’m always so eager to share my wisdom with others and of course I believe in experiential learning.

I’ve never again slowed down because my legs are hurting.  Instead I’ve learned to embrace the pain and rephrase it so that I’m hungry to stoke the fires for more.

My next rephrase came from learning and understanding the teachings of Abraham Hicks (yes I’m a fan) whereby our emotions is our internal GPS system.  Feeling good means we’re on our way to living our most joyous lives, feeling like shit means we’re heading in the opposite direction.  With this foundation I started investigating my business and my personal life.

I discovered that when I experienced pain in my relationships, it was never because of what the other person did or said, but an abandonment of my personal values, beliefs and self-love that hurt like a mofo.  I’ve found that when we truly love and respect ourselves as the magnificent souls and fumbling humans that we are, there is no pain.  Yet we actively seek out learning and you and I both know that relationships are our greatest teachers.  So we constantly find ourselves in relationships whether romantic or friendship or business where we are given the gift of pain to gain deeper insight into who we truly are.  This means the gift is not forgiving others after all.  The gift is gratitude for the opportunity to fall more in love with self.

Next I turned to my business.  Where was it causing me pain and what was the message?  True as fuck, the message once again was abandonment of self.  Whenever I try and do business the way it’s being taught by the system, I experience some serious pain.  I’m not just talking emotional pain folks, I’m talking zero bank balance pain.  I’m talking working with all the wrong people pain.  I’m talking self-doubt pain where I start thinking there must be something wrong with me because everyone else is getting it right so I must be stupid if the ten bloody steps don’t work for me.  Truth is, nobody else’s steps will ever work for me because I’m a creative.  That means I was born to create not born to duplicate.  When I don’t look inside and do what feels awesome and valuable and uplifting, I sink like a brick in water.

With this learning I am now wide awake and once again being on the lookout for pain because I know every time I do, there is a gift to be found inside.  All I have to do is ask pain “What are you trying to tell me?”

Try it.

Journal that shit out.

Ask yourself whilst training and see what power you can find at the bottom of your pain to go harder, higher, faster.

Ask yourself in your relationships and see where you have maybe abandoned yourself in order for you to fit into the mold of some other poor bastards’ misery.

Ask yourself in business where are you not being true to your creative spirit and looking outwards for all the answers when in fact, they are all inside.  In your heart.  In your mind.  In your soul.

Whatever you do, start questioning!

Question not just pain but everything in life.  It’s time.

You and I both know that the current system is simply not working for our generation anymore.  And it sure as hell won’t work for the next generation.  Just look at our political chaos and you will know the truth of what I speak.

I know you’re a bad-ass.  I know that you’ve been stewing for a while now and you’re done feeling uncomfortable. I know for a fact that you’re ready to dive into the pain to find your power.

This is why I’ve put together Kick-start for you.  Thirty days of me tapping into your truth and holding you to that standard of excellence.  Holding your vision with you so that even if you falter, you don’t come to a halt.  If this is calling to you and you’re so done with where you’re at, then check out the details here.

Always remember Darling, death is inevitable.  But thriving is a choice.  And believe me, pain is part of that package.

Hesitation Leads to Devastation

I remember the first time I heard the expression “hesitation leads to devastation” was standing next to my  then coach, looking at what seemed at the time a rather insane rocky drop-off.  I suspect he intended his words to be soothing and encouraging, yet what I wanted to say to him was “Easy for you to say Asshole.  You’ve been doing this for years and I’m only getting started.  I’m terrified!  It hurts.  Piss off.  Grrrr.”

To put it into perspective this was after I’d already face-planted once in a very unladylike fashion.  My leg was hurt and bleeding – which paled against the sting of my ego.  I was not in the mood for his shit anymore.  If anything I was getting pretty prissy.

Then again, you should know by now that pissed at times gets me far in life.

I spat my frustration out to the side, inhaled my anger and just went for it!

Now I know you’re expecting me to say that I flowed down like a pro and rose victorious from my effort – it would have been pretty cool if that was the case.  But as this was real life and not a Hollywood story of inspiration with climaxing music, I came crushing and cursing down again.

And again.

And again.

SHIIIIIIIIIIIT.

Eventually, tail between my legs, I dragged my humbled ass back to my car and slowly drove home.

The achiever in me knew that I might have been unsuccessful today, but more than ever I was determined to nail this skill down.

It took many a bloody nose before I finally understood that it wasn’t about ‘fucking forward recklessly’ that gets you victory.  Instead there’s a journey whereby you learn the mindset and the process, practice the steps until you have succeeded often enough to start understanding the capabilities and limitations of your bike, the mechanics of the movement becomes smooth and above all else, you start trusting yourself.

Only then do you find the point where you see a drop-off ahead, make the decision to go, and fully commit to the outcome.

You stop paying attention to every little stone in the way, and relax into the flow.  Instantly your mind is freed up to take in the bigger picture, spots the best path and go from point A to point B with relative ease and yes, at some stage you even start enjoying this shit!

You learn that when you hesitate what in fact happens is your body tenses up, your brain freezes and starts frantically looking around for every little micro detail, inflating it to out of proportion which then takes you to the place you DON’T want to be.

Voila, you come crashing down.

Where your focus goes your body follows.

The other amazing benefit of this journey is that it truly does separate those who come from a place of ego and those who come from a place of desire.

Ego will bow down to pain every time.
Desire will embrace pain.

Maybe you’re not a mountain-biker and wondering what the hell any of this has to do with business.  So let me translate.

I’ve witnessed many a newcomer to business use the ‘all balls and very little brains’ approach.  They believe that if they just storm down a path they will get it right, and they might even get lucky a few times.  Eventually, unless they take the time to learn the mechanics and the process that best works for them, they will come crashing down.

Personally I believe it’s way less painful to fail in the beginning of your next level than when you’re further along.  Because the further down the path you go, the steeper the drop-offs, which means the more you bleed.

Instead, when you start on a new journey or the next level, give yourself the time to learn and fail in an atmosphere conducive to growth.  Allow yourself to learn how to fall (yes there is a trick to that as well) which causes as little damage as possible so that you can get back on and repeat the process again and again to the point where you understand and trust yourself enough to simply go for it.  Allow yourself to be supported by a coach or a mentor who will stand next to you, believing in you and who will show you the path of least resistance before saying “hesitation leads to devastation”.

Because there’s truth in this madness.

Once you’ve practiced and tasted success, your body and mind intrinsically knows what to do every time you get to a similar situation.

Don’t.  Hold.  Back.

Don’t go into a complete panic and freeze up, looking for every little thing that can go wrong.

Trust that you’ve got what it takes Darling and COMMIT TO THE FLOW.

Because if you don’t, if you hesitate, not only will you lose out on precious moments and opportunities, you will come to a crashing halt and will have to exert twice as much effort to get going again.

Let’s recap:

  1. As always, have a very clear goal and reason why you want to do this – pain will crush egocentric goals
  2. Allow yourself support during a mentally tough time
  3. Be prepared to fail until you succeed – learn and practice the steps until you’ve nailed it
  4. Once you’ve figured it out, trust yourself, commit and use momentum and muscle memory to move forward where others falter
  5. Celebrate the fact that once again you’ve proven to be a bad-ass to be reckoned with.

Honor where you are on your path and trust that you’ve got everything that it takes to succeed on your soul-driven journey.  You truly do.

It’s when you look around and see what others are doing that you tend to screw yourself over.  Never forget that most people have picked up some bloody scrapes along the way.  Some will continually stop themselves when they see potential danger ahead thereby never experiencing the exhilaration of ‘the rush’, some will go back to the top and say ‘I own you!’ and do it again.  If you’re watching the wrong crowd you’ll remain where you’re at.  In fear.

Believe.  Achieve.  Repeat.

If you’re ready for the next level and you’re allowing yourself the support you deserve, then now is the time to check out my Kick-start offer.  Thirty days of me standing next to you, keeping you on track to move forward no matter how loud the voices in your head scream to go back.  For the month of June I’m offering this package for only $450 because I want to make it as easy for you as possible to move forward to where I KNOW you deserve to play – with the leaders here to bring revolutionary change.

Don’t hesitate and let this opportunity pass you by when you know in your heart of hearts that this is your time and you’re ready for the next step.

Because ultimately death is inevitable, but thriving is a choice.

 

Boundaries speak the truth louder than your words

I can’t help but think that humanity has lost the plot when it comes to boundaries.  Like so many other powerful tools it’s been warped and twisted into a tool of egotistical cock-fighting.

Personally I believe strong boundaries are expressions of love.

True love which starts with self.

It’s about putting in the work to gather all the split-off fractions of your beautiful self which has been broken and scattered by the winds through people disapproving of your truth, your behavior, your difference, your opinions.  It happens.  It’s life.  No reason for a pity party – just deal and get on with the task at hand.

This is probably some of the hardest graft you will ever have to do in your life but once you reach the point where you look in the mirror and truly love the person you see, then and only then are you in a position to truly love others.  Actually then it’s kinda hard NOT to love others, regardless of their differences.  You might not LIKE everyone, but you can love them.

With love comes value – where you value yourself and others.  With value comes respect – for self and others.  Out of respect and value and love flows boundaries.

For me boundaries say that you believe in yourself and others.  There’s an energy of equality.  This is the point where you acknowledge the true magnificence of each spirit and your life is a beautiful reflection of this belief.

And as you graciously uphold your own boundaries you also respect the boundaries of others.  No more need for ego.

I have five personal boundaries which have served me well and which I’ve seen working magic in the lives of those I work with:

  1. I will not wait for anyone – When I first started riding with a group I would get so pissed when periodically they would wait for me at the top of a climb only to start riding again the moment I finally arrived, winded and spent.  More than that I became frustrated with myself because I knew these guys were out training to race and I didn’t want to be their excuse for not performing at their optimal.  I took it on myself to go out solo and train my ass off to get stronger so I could keep up with them on the group rides.  I now have the same philosophy for my clients and others.  That’s because I know that if they’re hungry enough to be in the lead pack, they will do the extra work to keep up.  If not, they probably belong in the coffee group.  I also happen to know from experience that waiting for others can be an excuse to give less than your best and will ultimately lead to a breakdown in the relationship with a tinge of resentment thrown in for extra flavor.
  2. I will halt unequal relationships – Co-dependency is a bitch!  It creates a culture of victim and savior which becomes a symbiotic relationship of ego-feeding and addiction.  Ultimately it leads to pain for both parties.  If you are surrounding yourself with people who take more from you than they give, walk away.  And if you’re surrounding yourself with people who give more than you are willing to you’re nothing more than an energy vampire.  You want to surround yourself with those who bring out your A-game Darling so that you can give your best version self to them.
  3. I will not idealize others – When we put others on pedestals we keep ourselves smaller than.  Of course that’s just an excuse not to show up for yourself at your full potential.  I realized a long time ago that we are all born equal.  Nobody is more special.  But when a few work their asses off, dedicate their lives to achievement often making tremendous sacrifices behind the scenes, we idealize them so we can excuse ourselves from fully showing up.  We relinquish our boundaries because they’re ‘more important’ but that is so disrespectful to them.  Meet each person as your equal because the true rock stars will respect your boundaries in the same spirit as you respect theirs.
  4. I will operate from my truth – Can you imagine how different the world would be if everyone just operated from their truth?  And stopped judging other peoples’ truth?  Why can’t we just understand that your truth is unique to you, in this moment, for where you find yourself and with the experiences you’ve had to form those beliefs?  Understand as well that your truth will change – it’s called growth.  The only reason people don’t operate from their truth is they’re terrified of being called on it by people who are bored with their own lives so they’re constantly looking around at who else they can ‘catch out’ and criticize.  Yet the moment we abandon our truth, we stop trusting ourselves.  We stop respecting ourselves.  We stop valuing ourselves.  We stop truly loving ourselves because we have gone into judging ourselves.  Can you see the spiral downwards?
  5. I will assert against disrespect – There is a difference between assertiveness and aggression (but that is a topic for another day).  When you value and love yourself it’s simply not possible to entertain disrespect.  At this stage I find myself appreciating peoples’ opinion of me, but I don’t tolerate people disrespecting me.  Quite frankly Darling, I love myself way too much to become a punching bag for your personal frustrations.  Disrespect always stems from fear and that is absence of love.  Simple.  As.  That.

I invite you to try these on for size and if they fit, use them.  If they don’t, simply define your own.  As always there’s no right or wrong.  Just right or wrong for you.

If you’re ready to fully embrace who you are and feel that you might have been playing a tad smaller than you know you can and if you know in your heart that I’m the coach who will hold the space of your next level growth, then now is the time for us to connect.

I’ve created Kick-start for born achievers who are hungry for their next level.  You can get all the details here.

As always remember that death is inevitable, but thriving is a choice.

Choose wisely.

The mind-set that changes the playing field.

There are moments in life where you’ve earned the right to redefine yourself.

Moments when you’ve endured more than anyone deserves to know.  Where you chose a private hell to burst through the glass ceilings that held you in place of mediocrity.

All to achieve a goal others consider insane and a little irresponsible.

April 7, 2013 was one of those moments for me.

It all started way back in 1979 when, on a sunny day (setting the scene ;-))my parents decided to take us on a picnic.  Whilst the adults were relaxing with a bottle of wine, my brother and I decided to go for a swim in the cool pool at the bottom of a spectacular waterfall.  Clearly too young and stupid to register the fact that neither of us had ever learned to swim.

Splashing in the coolness quickly turned into mayhem as I stepped backwards and plummeted into a bottomless abyss.  Closing my eyes I can still hear the echo of the screams in my head as I swung my arms and legs wildly, desperately trying to find air.  I lost all sense of direction and couldn’t distinguish between up and down.  If it wasn’t for my brother I wouldn’t be here today.

This incident ingrained into my every cell an irrational fear of water which I carry with me to this day.

September 2012 a good friend showed me a 5 minute YouTube clip which rocked my world.  In a split second I made the decision that more than anything in this world I wanted to become an IronMan.

I was prepared to die just to hear the words “Anel, you. are. an. IronMan”.

Irrational?  Probably.

Insane?  I guess some would think so.

But soul goals are rarely rational or sane.  Soul goals are opportunities to re-define your perceptions of self.  And IronMan changed the way I live, love and do business.

Stumbling out of the ocean 2 hours 18 minutes after the canon shot off, I was radiating!  I’d done it!  I’d completed the 3.8 kilometers swim (probably exceeding 4 considering how crooked my path had been), ceaselessly talking to myself NOT to shit in my wet-suite, NOT to give in to the tears fogging up my goggles, NOT to stop and raise my arm to be pulled out as so many other stronger, more experienced swimmers had done on the course.

As I wobbled on my jelly legs my mind was working overtime.  How the fuck had I done it?  What made me different from the guys who gave up not just on the day but on the journey to the start line?  In that moment I downloaded a formula by which I’ve lived ever since:  Desire + Dedication + Discipline + Determination = Indestructible Baby!

Let me explain:

  1.  Desire – What drives you?  What is your big why – not only for wanting to achieve the goal but your very reason for inhaling oxygen.  This is an absolute game changer.  When you go deep and you tap into the fact that what you do really matters, that your actions and accomplishments impacts others, you access a super human strength that brings with it endurance, strength, grit!
  2. Dedication – Your goals must become your obsession!  You want to eat, breathe, dream your shit.  You want to talk about it all day long.  People will either get this and bring more to the table with advise, research, experience OR they’ll tell you to get a life.  This sorts your support team from energy vamps.  You know what to do.
  3. Discipline – This is a biggy.  It’s not just discipline to take the actions necessary JUST to finish, hopefully.  Oh no Darling.  This is where you take a microscopic look at your life and you’re prepared to clear out everything that can possibly sabotage or distract you.  That includes late nights when you have to get up early.  You show up for yourself when everyone else is sleeping or hiding in bed from the storm raging outside.  It’s when you use your week-ends to study and do your personal development work because recovery is done actively.
  4. Determination – How much do you really want it?  I mean really want it?  Determination requires re-framing obstacles as gifts from the Universe because every time one gets put in your way it weeds out the playing field.  Obstacles are Natures’ way of getting rid of the weak.  I ran many a mile with tears streaming down my face because I was in so much fucking pain caused by the piece of bone cutting up the inside of my hip that I would vomit in my mouth.  But I kept going, focusing on taking one more step and raging “Thank you God for giving me the opportunity to show you how much I want this”.  I made a deal with Creator and my biokineticist that if they got me to the start line of IronMan, I would get to the finish line.  They did, and so did I.

An indestructible mind-set is a great way to ensure that you stop wasting your time with inconsequential goals and focus on the ones that really matter.  Because when shit hits the fan, which it always does, and when the going gets tough, which it always does, you want to know that it’s going to be fucking worth it!

If you’re ready to set the goal that you will die for this year and you want to ensure you make the finish line, I’m ready to hold you accountable, raise your expectations of yourself, and kick your sweet ass into Vin Diesel shape.

Kick-Start is a 90 minute deep dive session during which we set your non-negotiable goal and anchor that baby down with purpose.  We draw up the project plan that will have you focused, clear and taking action.  This is followed by 2 one hour coaching sessions to identify any self-sabotaging patterns that stick their nasty little heads up and put the structures in place that will keep you moving forward.

Ready to become indestructible?

Let’s play Darling.

 

 

Power Up – When you’re done waiting for someone to empower you, you’re empowered.

You might call me an insensitive bitch by the end of this, but really it’s my deep caring that forces me to speak my truth.

Empowerment – a word that gets flung around like kegs of beer at a sorority party (remember those???).

In the spirit of complete transparency, it’s a word that I’ve been using with passionate exclamation as I got so sick and tired of hearing how everyone is helping everyone else.  Yawn.

You can’t help someone for heaven’s sake (I’m not referring to helping an invalid get nourishment into their body by feeding them but rather psychologically changing people from victims to victors).   You can present people with new possibilities, new ways of seeing, new ways of thinking – it’s still up to them whether they choose to embrace it or not.

So I kicked help’s ass to the curb and started using empower.  It sounds way cooler to empower people to take their lives to the next level.  To empower people to take action.  To empower people to take a stand for themselves.

Until the echo echo echo of the word was fed back to me to the point of nausea which gave me pause to think.  Yes I know I know, I’m a cynic who’ve come to the understanding that modern society has a way of taking wisdom and twisting it for the continued hypnosis of sheople.

I Googled empowerment and came across this definition : “authority or power given to someone to do something”.

How the fuck do you give someone power?

For me true power is internal.  It resides within every single person.  Yes unfortunately it lies dormant in a large proportion of the population – but it’s still there.

People have simply forgotten.  They get born and spoon-fed bland mashed veggies and societal rules of how wearing pants gives you power in the house, how money gives you power in the economy, how title gives you power in companies, how sex gives you power just about everywhere, how station gives you power in countries.

It’s done so convincingly that people disengage from the truth – that there is an endless source of power residing inside of them.

It’s called free will.

It’s called thinking for yourself.

It’s called owning your shit.

True empowerment is that moment when you stop being a victim of outside forces and instead scrutinize your life from every angle.  Your relationships, your bank account, your company, your happiness.  And you take complete responsibility for every one of those.

It’s the moment when you decide to level the playing field by understanding that you have all the power, all the potential, all the wisdom, all the creativity that everyone else in the history of mankind has ever had or will ever have.

It’s the moment when you invest in yourself and you decide that you’re going to get whatever you need out of the program to make progress regardless of who is presenting or what the content entails.

It’s the moment when you look at what’s pissing you off and either choose to keep it the same but not get upset or change it.

All of this is inside of you.  Nobody can give it to you.  Nobody can empower you – you simply have to re-power yourself.  Because the moment that you wait for someone else to empower you, you’ve given your power away again.

Tony Robbins stated it so beautifully that it’s never a lack of resources but a lack of resourcefulness that keeps people from achieving their goals.

Because let’s be honest here, it’s way easier to blame our parents, our partners, our kids, our bosses, our employees, our presidents, our economies for everything that’s not to our liking and drown our sorrows with a bottle of tequila than to switch off the social media feeds, read the books, brainstorm the ideas and take action every single day.

It’s hard work to wake up in the morning and to consciously choose to feel gratitude before your feet hit the floor.  It’s hard to discipline yourself to commit an hour a day to completely focus on your dreams and to take action even when nobody believes in you or shouts at you to meet their needs rather than your own.  It’s hard to raise your standards to excellence when all your childhood friends invite you to the pub each night – calling you a nerd when you turn them down.

But that’s true power.

That’s when you empower your fucking self to make shit happen.

If you’re serious about being a leader (and if you’re still reading I know that you are a leader) I believe it’s time that you stop focusing on trying to empower others and start empowering yourself.  Live your life in a way that inspires others to pick themselves up at their boot straps because if they don’t they will get left behind.  Surround yourself with people who simply don’t have time for drama and blame and who instead lovingly holds up a mirror for you and say “look, own and choose”.  Burn the fucking violins or change the tune so my feet start dancing involuntarily with excitement.

Now you might feel on fire at this stage as the light-bulb goes on and you know that Hell Yes, you OWN it.  Or you might completely reject all of this as a load of shit because I simply don’t understand your circumstance because if I did I would be more sympathetic.  Honey if you had any idea how often I’ve stood in shoes that has most people fucking running in fear, you will know that it’s because I understand that I’m writing this.  But ultimately it’s your choice how you decide to feel about this piece.

If you’re wanting to bring your A-game, to set some inspired goals taking back your power then I have a special offer for you.  For the month of June 2017 I’m offering Kick-Start  for only $450.00

We kick off with a 90 minute session whereby you get crystal clear on the goal that is an absolute non-negotiable for you and we draw up a project plan on how you’re going to achieve it.  You then have 2 one hour session to ensure you’re taking massive action, get the learning and tweak the plan as needed to ensure success.  Everything you need to kick-start your epic.

I know that for most people to make a radical change there has to be some serious shit going on.  That’s when we say Enough And No More.  That’s when you dig deep and find your courage to take a step towards your success.  And I know it takes more than a tot of courage to sign up with a coach which is why I’m making this an easy choice for you.

Ready to feel your power?

Press here.

Get your head in the game

Fear – I can feel it everywhere in my body. She feels tense. Where once there was certainty, faith, trust, there is now stiffness caused by the simultaneous contraction and movement of muscles. Even my fingers feel like giant lolly-pops without purpose or direction.

My head is filled with so many voices distracting me. Story runs over and under story causing a cacophony of insanity that has my eyes watering and my ears ringing.

People talking to me – I can hear the drama cascading from their mouths like blood dripping down a lion’s throat from a fresh kill. Except there’s no nourishment for me. Only more noise, confusion, madness.

Can you relate?

This is what it feels like for me when I get unfocused from my burning desire and instead get caught up in the lives that everyone around me is creating for themselves and which they so desperately want me to support by giving it attention. And at times I give in to the human desire to be liked and I take my eye off the ball just for a moment. Except the moment we change our focus our bodies follow and we change direction. I stray from my path and I go down Baby!

Like so many others I was raised to “stop being so selfish” and not to think of myself and what I wanted. I was told that introverts get nowhere and that life happened outside of the dance studio.

That’s all bull by the way. That’s us being raised through the lenses of pain from loneliness and exclusion of our well-meaning parents. But I’m not like my parents and chances are if you’re reading this, neither are you. Maybe like me you’re obsessed with what you desire to achieve and meaningless chit chat bores the crap out of you. Maybe like me you love digging deeper for the answers that are buried inside your heart to share the wisdom with those you came here to serve.

Maybe.

And maybe, like me at times, you feel fear (Fuck Everything And Run) caused by distraction and looking at the chaotic scenery painted by others instead of your path.

Not sure if this is what’s happening to you?

Fastest way to find out is to scan your body – right now, in this moment.

If you are feeling super clear, confident, focused and generally on fire, when you have tons of energy and little desire to sleep, when you are eating clean and training hard and feeding your mind with gold, you’re on track.

If however you’re doubting every step you take, if you’re constantly finding yourself listening to gossip and making sympathetic sounds to console, if you’re eating sugar and oily crap, lying on the couch rather than moving your sexy Gluteus Maximus, I will take a bet that you’ve taken yourself out of the game.

It’s time to choose.

You can continue to live like this – hell most people do. And that’s cool. I’m all for diversity in choice and don’t judge. I just want you to make a conscious choice.

Or you can take a deep breath right now and make the decision to get back in the game. But only if you’re ready to suffer a little to get your groove back because chances are that you’ve lost a little fitness Darling and you have to sweat to get it back. You’re going to have to do all the mind-set work again. You’re going to have to get that discipline muscle pumping. You’re going to have to upset some people and yes, you might even have fewer ‘friends’ on Facebook.

The reward?

Flow!

Those sweet moments when all the noise dies down – you come fully alive.

Imagine for a moment riding your mountain bike through a winding single track. Your senses heightened to the point where you spot the singular purple flower with a speckle yellow heart among all the fallen autumn leaves. You hear unique notes in every bird song. Breathe in the thrill as you relax your shoulders, hunch over the handlebars, knees bend, and you just flow as you allow the front wheel to roll effortlessly over rocks and broken tree roots.

Bliss.

This is your natural state Darling.

This is what business feels like when you stop following the crowds and start tapping into your purpose, guided by your joy and supported by your natural talents. When you sit at the keyboard and you allow your fingers to tap a staccato, tears flowing down your cheeks as you pay witness to inspired phrases appearing on the screen. When you sit in a meeting and you hear the words flowing out of your mouth astounded by the deep wisdom that is shared with those who listen. When you shake hands with your soul client and you have a deep knowing that the world will be a little better for the partnership that’s been formed by two creatives co-creating.

Oh the sweet joy.

The absolute certainty as your soul takes over and brings to the forefront everything that you need to guarantee success as you desire to define success.

If this is your choice then here is your game plan:

  1. Reconnect to your core values, your burning desires and your goals.
  2. Get rid of distractions! Stop chatting to the gossip-mongers. Clean up your social media feeds from all the drama queens. Clean out the fridge. If it doesn’t nourish you, it infects you. Let. It. Go.
  3. Put some supportive structures into place. Join the 5 am Club and have your Power Hour in the mornings. Sign up for a fitness class. Get the coach. Find the mastermind group. Know yourself well enough to get whoever you need to ensure success.
  4. Assess where you are today – you can’t get where you want to be unless you know where you are. Be honest with yourself – no use you have an inflated ego that trips you up.
  5. Start taking consistent action – every day! Nothing earth-shattering is needed to start with. Small daily improvements will lead to massive results. But consistency is key.

And above all, believe in yourself and the process. I’ve never met a person who set themselves a soul aligned goal and not achieve it when they stayed laser focused and took consistent action.

If you’re reading this and you believe that you deserve support in achieving your burning desires and you have a knowing in your gut that I’m the coach that will keep your rear on the path, then it’s time for us to connect. Don’t be shy – I don’t bite (much).

This is your chance to book a free coaching consult. But only if you’re willing to do whatever it takes and only if you’re ready to get past your childhood conditioning which no longer serve you.

After all, death is inevitable. But you get to choose how you live.

 

Unleash your inner child for a creative explosion in your business.

Not sure about you but whenever I become all ‘grown-up’ about this thing called life and especially business, I loose my spontaneity and joy. My energy slinks down the drain, my thoughts become sluggish as I try to follow the processes and strategies I’ve been preached.  I start seeing lines.

Lines freak me out.

So I become insecure and a little desperate that I’m doing it all wrong.  Thinking I look like a floundering fool just waiting to be caught in her mother’s high heels.  I nervously look at others for the answers on how to stand, how to speak, how to plan my day, how to eat, how to work, how to build my business following the seven steps so that I will look respectable and all grown up.

I cover my dark-chocolate-tequila-swirl core with vanilla and paint a perfect smile with my pink lipstick.  Transforming into the Stepford Wife saying the right thing at the right time, fitting in, becoming liked for my softer side.

I shrivel up.  A slow trickle eventually becomes a stagnant pool reeking of stale mud.  I feel uninspired, my business feels uninspired and stifling.  I might as well close the doors.

That’s when she wakes up.

My two year old rebellious bad-ass who throws a supreme tantrum which rocks me to my very foundation. Her voice cuts through all my bullshit and forces me to sit up and take notice. She demands attention at all cost. She throws her small fists into my face and gives my nose a mighty whack that brings tears to my eyes. She looks me straight in the eyes and asks “Why the fuck are you here?”

That’s all she needs to ask. Why am I here?

I go inside knowing this is the only place to find my ultimate answers.

I’m here to play.

I’m here to have fun on a massive playground with billions of other youthful souls.

I’m here to have magnificent, challenging, exciting, scary experiences.

That is after all why I left corporate in the first place.  The rules didn’t make any sense to me.  Instead of providing me supportive structure from which to create, they suffocated me and left me working within the parameters of a job description which was never written for me but a clone-like version of some of my skills.

I embraced my entrepreneurial spirit because when I am free from rules, I fully step into my authentic brilliance and give my clients permission to do the same.

Rebels who are curious to learn, adapt, transform and produce new and unique products and services for the betterment of humanity.  Rebels who love the hustle but not the grind.  Rebels who every now and again look around because they feel frustrated with their progress and start doubting themselves, thinking that maybe it’s time for them to grow up a little and do it in a linear fashion as indicated by an expert in the field.  Rebels who every so often come to me to grow the fuck down and play in the mud to access their creative muse.

If you’re a born rebel for whom life is feeling a tad serious at the moment leaving you uninspired and run down, it’s time to grow down a little.  It’s time to remember that you started this business because you thought it would be fun.

Take a deep breath and walk off the field.  It is the best thing you can ever do for yourself, your business, your clients.

Walk to where you find an open piece of land, connect with your two year old and ask yourself “Why am I here?”

Reconnect with your special purpose, figure out what brings you most joy and what feels really supported by your natural talent.  Be brave enough to do it differently because it will give you that nugget feeling when you get it right when everyone else told you you’re doing it wrong.

Then come back and do it your way Darling.

Your game. Your rules.

Ready to play?