This is my personal truth.
It’s been a while since I’ve come here to run. The terrain is truly beautiful, but challenging both mentally and physically. The early morning sun is beating down on my face and I’m loving the clean air that is filling my lungs as I start out on the trail.
With only eight weeks to go until the SkyRun, and my lower back telling me that I’m getting old, I have to start training harder but smarter. That is why I drove out to Kloofendal Nature Reserve this morning for a three hour training session. It is quiet here. I’ve only seen one person so far which means nobody to encourage me to keep pushing – it is all up to me.
The beauty of the land keeps me captivated and I eagerly climb up as I know the view from the top is going to be spectacular!! I love climbing up. Yes it is hard on the legs, on the glutes, on the lungs. And at times I wonder how much further until I reach some flat land just to catch my breath. But I can always see the next step, I can always look ahead to pick out the best route. And I love the view from the top! Who doesn’t?
Not so on the downhills. In fact, this is where my greatest challenge lies. I’m shit scared of heights and rocky descends. And going downhill my mind starts playing sneaky games with me. Showing me landslides about to explode the moment I step on the wrong stone. Making my body tense which I know is more likely to lead to an accident, but I simply can’t help myself. I try to focus on my breathing, to get out of my head. Change the voices that tell me devastation lies ahead to ones that are more empowering, telling me I can do this, just keep going.
As I approach a particularly steep drop, my steps falter and I slow down. It seems that the path completely disappears! I can see a trail on the other side going up, but I cannot see a humanly possible way to get there. What the hell????
That is when it dawns on me – THIS is faith. The knowing that even though I can’t see the ‘how’, the Universe has already laid the trail. It is easy to have faith when you can see the next step. But when the path disappears, you have to have the faith of a child, throw caution and fear to the wind and run like a complete maniac, trusting. All I have to do is to trust and keep moving forward. And like magic, the next step appears. It is the most astonishing thing! Every time I take a step forward, the view changes, and the next step appears as if out of thin air!!!
I start thinking of my life. Of how I have set goals which seemed impossible at the outset, and quite frankly most of the way as well. But I could see the desired end. I knew that someone else has already accomplished this goal, somewhere, at some time. Which means that it is possible. And then all I do is commit and keep taking one step forward every single day, keeping the faith. I don’t always understand the steps that I take. And sometimes I slip and fall. But I get back up, look around, and find a better path.
I have a deep faith in the Universe. I believe that I am fully supported on my path and that even though things look like a mess from where I stand at times, God has a perfect view from above and he knows where I should turn next. I guess that is why I can do the crazy shit I do…
He also knows me well – and understands that I’m not the most patient person. I like shit to happen now! So at times, he simply provides me the people who will give me a different perspective, a different view: my husband, my mom, my dad, a mastermind partner, my boys, a coach, whoever is most suited for the specific part of my journey. And by giving me this view, I can make better choices and get faster results.
Where in your life have you stopped because you cannot see the next step? Where in your life is faith the missing link to getting to your desired finish line?
If you are feeling completely stuck, just take one step! Just one! I dare you! Because as long as you stand still your view doesn’t change. It is only by moving that you can get a different perspective. And it is only through movement that we demonstrate faith and give the Universe an opportunity to do some magic.
Take that step!
Walk with honor.