Move Away and Be Quick About It

Your whole life is controlled by two things: your beliefs and values – Tony Robbins

Animals have totally got this sorted. If something causes them pain they:

  • Run from it
  • Kill it
  • Let it kill them
  • Fight it
  • Leave it alone
  • Avoid it in the future

As humans, we have a tendency to take the pain, accept it as our lot, dose ourselves up with painkillers and try to avoid it if we can. The difference being, we have the ability to change how we react to it, whereas for animals it is automatic.

Values are the same. They have the potential to cause us pain as well as pleasure. Tony Robbins summed it up well when he said, “The secret of success is learning how to use pain and pleasure instead of having pain and pleasure use you. If you do that, you’re in control of your life. If you don’t, life controls you.”

Controlling Your Values

Everyone has values. They’re the important things we hold to tightly and which guide our daily lives. They’ll either cause us pleasure or pain, with the ends value the one we want to work towards achieving.

Tony Robbins, (can you guess I’m a bit of a fan!), talks about values in terms of moving towards values and moving away values. So let’s did deeper into those areas.

Moving Towards Values

Now we’re getting to the good stuff. These are the values that give us pleasure. We’re going to try everything we can to achieve these end values because it feels good and we are highly motivated to work with them. Even within these moving towards values, there are some which we rate more highly than others. Love truly does conquer all and it remains one of the most valued emotions we have, yet there is nothing wrong with ranking freedom above power or health above success either.

Moving Away from Values

When you hate something, you don’t want to do it and unfortunately there are some values which damn well cause you pain. Rejection, depression and loneliness are some examples of these values which we really don’t want to experience and will do anything to avoid. Your moving away from value would be that you hate being lonely and in order to avoid this, you’ll need to redirect it to the moving towards value of you like having a certain someone’s company.

Have You Lost Your Marbles?

I don’t know if you ever played marbles as a child, but I remember it as throwing one of my marbles at another and if I hit it, I got to keep it. Values are like marbles in that we can keep throwing them around in our lives and either ‘win’ the marble or ‘lose’ the marble depending on our choices.

Society today seems to have lost touch with their values, resulting in misery, depression and the sub-conscious sabotage of our goals.

So I guess what I’m saying, it you really need to check if your marbles are the ones you want to keep or not. Or your values, same thing really.


Deathbed regrets

With the arrival of winter I love observing the transformation as Mother Nature covers the mountains in a fluffy blanket of white snow.  It’s hard not to be inspired by the beauty in the bareness of my early morning rides as the once green and lush landscape is transformed into a forest of what appears to be death and decay.  After 43 years of witnessing the seasons change, there’s a deep knowing inside of me that this too shall pass and where currently there is nothing except for bare necessity, there will be brilliant new life again in spring.

Not so for our bodies.

As I continue to observe the way in which people take life for granted, I can’t help but wonder how many of them will die unexpectedly, filled with regret for a life un-lived.

Enter the study by Bronnie Ware, a nurse who worked in palliative care. Her patients were those who had gone home to die. She was the person who witnessed the last 3 to 12 weeks of their lives, their constant companion as they took stock of years gone by.

Death has a way of intensifying life – the growth, the insights, the emotions.  All amplified in the final days to give the soul an opportunity to review.  What Bronnie discovered was that across all of her patients, there were definite themes when it came to the regrets people had looking back over their lives.

Today I am sharing with you the top 5 regrets that Bronnie identified with the hope that you will take the time to evaluate your life, before it is too late.

1. I wish I’d had the courage to live a life true to myself, not the life others expected of me.

I wonder at times exactly when it was decided sacrifice was honorable?  When did society define our roles and how we should behave in order for us to be considered ‘good’ people?

Every dream we have, every desire we feel, is there for a reason.  It’s the experiences which promotes the growth that reveals the best versions of ourselves.  Choosing to give up on our dreams is settling for the dilluted version of self.

Instead of giving up on your dreams, start asking how can you live them?  Which actions can you start taking to make your desires become your reality?

Use whatever life is giving you at the moment, get inspired and create a life that astounds us!

2. I wish I didn’t work so hard.

This regret came from every male patient that Bronnie nursed.  I have a feeling that today women will be right up there with them since so many have become the breadwinners in their families.

This regret was not really around work itself, but that which was sacrificed in life due to the amount of time spent at work.  Missed experiences with children, missed opportunities to love partners, not having the energy to live more, do more, laugh more.

And for what?  A paycheck?

The deeper my studies of the psychology of wealth, the more I understand that the reason why people are working themselves to death without ever reaching a point of satisfaction, is because they’re not questioning what they truly desire in life in order for them to feel wealthy.  Tony Robbins demonstrates this by breaking wealth down into components of time, health, relationships, contribution and money.  Without experiencing satisfaction in all these areas, you’ll be left feeling like another Mick Jagger where you “can’t get no satisfaction”.

Maybe it’s time to ask yourself the purpose of work?  Is it really to create the life of your dreams?  And if so, what does that life even look like?  If you’re working purely because you were raised that responsible adults work and you are not working smartly towards the goals that light you up, you are once again at the mercy of existence.

3. I wish I’d had the courage to express my feelings.

With the introduction of smart phones, apps and social media that has us communicating with smiley faces, likes and LOLs, true communication is an art that’s in severe danger of extinction.  Top that with the amount of criticism and public shame that can flare up in an instant from complete strangers who interpret whatever is said from wherever they find themselves emotionally at the moment, and it’s no wonder that few have the courage to express their true feelings.

And without true communication there can be no true relationships.

Instead of communicating our true feelings, all we desire is to keep the peace.   So we settle for mediocre relationships in our mediocre lives with as few waves as possible.  Don’t rock the boat.  Don’t upset anyone around you.  Whatever you do – don’t you dare surround yourself with meaningful relationships where differences are celebrated and encouraged!

When we start speaking our truth from a place of love, our lives transform.

Not everyone is going to enjoy this change and some might even leave your life.  The good news is that the ones who stay will probably stay forever AND support you in being your truest self.  I fail to see a down side.

4. I wish I had stayed in touch with my friends.

When you’re lying down drawing your last breath, all the ‘stuff’ that you have accumulated over the years become pretty meaningless.  Instead what matter most to people are the relationships they’ve had throughout their lives.

Friendships, lasting friendships, take some form of effort.  It’s really easy to get caught up in life and the hustle of everyday existence.  It’s easy to lose touch with those who brought depth to our experience of life.  But the effort will be worth it as in the end it is all about love and relationships.

Get off social media and start working on your real friendships.  Schedule time with friends into your diary the way you would any business meeting.  Talk – with your voice not your fingers.  Look into their eyes.  Give them a hug.  Let the sound of their laughter bubble over your lips.

Make a memory.

5. I wish that I had let myself be happier.

Do you realize that happiness truly is a choice?

Happiness is a feeling, and we create our feelings through what we choose to focus on and the words we choose to describe our experience of life.  Yet so few people have the discipline to control their minds.  Instead they stay victims to the broken records and the destructive habits that is on auto because it’s easier.

Whoever said misery loves company really knew what they were talking about.  In  Roget’s Thesaurus there is 1051 words to describe positive emotions compared to a whopping 2286 words to describe negative emotions.  Need I say more?

Abraham Hicks talks about the purpose of life as ultimately being joy.  That’s right – the only purpose you HAVE in life is to be happy.  Why do we feel this constant need to over-complicate things and make it all so damn hard?

Just choose to be happy – right now!  You’re powerful enough to do it and you’re definitely worth it.

In conclusion – if you’re reading this it means you’re not dead yet!

You have the opportunity to make the rest of your life the absolute best of your life.

  • Read through the regrets again
  • Assess your life and see how you’re doing in each of these areas.
  • Decide what you want these areas to truly look like so that you will lie on your deathbed, wink at the nurse and tell her that you have zero regrets.
  • Most importantly, start taking the actions today that will lead to a happier tomorrow.

As always, death is inevitable.  But thriving, that is a choice.

Thrive in the absence of shame

Shame:  “a painful feeling of humiliation or distress caused by the consciousness of wrong or foolish behavior.”

Interesting isn’t it?   That there should be such a phenomenon as shame AND that it is then pinned onto us as if it is all  us instead of how we feel in front of others.  It is pinned on those who are prepared to try and get it wrong.  Those who are prepared to do it differently and looking foolish.

Can you see that shame is a concept devised by the ego to keep you in line with the average masses?  How does this serve you?

Short answer – it doesn’t.

Think how different your life would be without shame.

You would love to try new things because you would never feel foolish when you get it wrong the first hundred times.

You would learn new skills because there would be no shame when you feel on your ass the first hundred times.

You would set seriously big goals because there would be no shame when you didn’t achieve them the first time around.

You would laugh a shit-ton more!

The purpose of goals is to keep you moving forward in life.  To help you reach further and go higher learning all the while on the journey.  It is about becoming the person who can achieve those goals, learning to think and act like that person.  Becoming more of who you already are!

When we use goals to measure ourselves in terms of shame, we start playing it safe.  We either stop setting goals altogether, start setting really minuscule goals, or we start changing our goals halfway to the finish because we don’t think we can make it and would rather settle for less than own the fact that we didn’t make it.  None of these self-perseverance strategies serve your greatness.

So drop the shame because it really doesn’t serve you.

Set the really big goals!

Take action relentlessly.

Change your actions not your goals.

Be prepared to fail so that you can learn.

And for heaven’s sake, learn to laugh at yourself.

Life is a game not a prison sentence.


5 Steps To Get Your Mojo Back

You know the pattern by now – you set those magnificent goals at the beginning of the year.  You put your head down and you work your butt off every single day.  After a while it feels like you’re doing the same thing day in and day out and you’re not making any progress.  You start doubting yourself.  You start getting tired.  You start slowing down.

You hit the slump.

And when you’re down in the slump, when you have lost your motivation, every day seems like a futile attempt to a destination that doesn’t even excite you anymore.

Don’t worry hun, I have you covered.  In fact, bouncing back to your kick-ass self is easier than you think.  So let’s get started.

 1.  Take a break.  The reason why we get so demotivated is that we get stuck in a rut.  The momentum starts taking over and we’re re-working the same muscles (whether physical or mental) over and over again.  This leads to exhaustion and we lose focus of the bigger picture.  It is time to walk away from the situation, take in some fresh air, and replenish your body and mind.

For some this could take an hour, for some a week-end, for some a week.  Take whatever time you need but make sure you give yourself a time-frame so that this does not become an excuse to walk away from your goals.

2.  Remember your big why.  I know you’re tired of me going on about your big why, but this is the number one reason most people don’t achieve their goals!  They set goals that are not really important to them beyond the normal surface reasons.  When you remember why you started the journey, the difference it will make in your life, the impact it will have in others’ lives, the woman you will be at the end of it, you will feel an influx of renewed motivation.

3.  List your achievements thus far.  Yes it is really easy to forget all we accomplish on a daily basis because we are waiting for the BIG things to happen.  But success is not built on the big things.  Success is built on the little achievements we have on a daily basis which then snow-balls into bigger achievements.

Plus you love feeling good about yourself darling.  That is why you are going after the big goals in the first place.  The better you feel about yourself, the more you’ll do to enforce that feeling.  While you’re at it, why don’t you pick just one of those little achievements and celebrate it?  Go for a nice long walk along the beach.  Have that extra long bubble bath.  Wear that insane pair of shoes you’ve had in the back of your cupboard for the last 6 months waiting for the perfect occasion.

4.  Track the progress you have made thus far.  I remember swimming my first IronMan.  It felt like all I was doing is swinging my arms and standing still.  The motion of the water can be extremely deceptive and it took me a while to realize that focusing on the buoys was the only way to truly measure the progress I was making.  When I realized that I was moving forward even when it felt like I was going back, it motivated me to keep going with renewed purpose behind the effort.  When you have been working with your head down it might feel like you have not made any progress, but when you start tracking it you will find the end a lot closer than you thought.

5.  Figure out the next action and take it.  Yes, nothing feels as good as taking action.  And you don’t have to have all the answers now to get started again.  All you need is the next step.  It is said that the cure for depression is action, and I couldn’t agree more.

Viola! From sitting in a heap to running with purpose again in 5 easy steps.  This process can literally happen in 2 hours if you’re determined to get your mojo back.

It has been my experience that all achievers work with coaches for exactly this reason.  We are human.  We have our up times and our down times.  Coaches ensure that the down times are kept to a minimum and that their clients bounce back with as little effort and loss of time as possible.

If you’re working on those really big goals and it feels like you’re running through peanut butter right now, then let’s chat.  Book a free discovery call here and let’s see if my style of coaching is right for you to get you to your finish line asap.

That bitch called stress

I think it is time that we all realize that there is no such thing as living without stress.  Not in today’s world when our senses are assaulted every second of the day.  Whether we are aware of it or not, barking dogs, loud trucks, flickering images, 24-7 social media, all of what we have come to accept as ‘normal’ is having an effect on our psyche.

As fempreneurs we get to add to this the daily pressure of building a business, trying to keep the house running smoothly, having our kids like us enough to get off the damn computer for 30 minutes, standing by our men when they get home after a rough day irritable and frustrated.

Is it any wonder we get those days where we just want to scream ‘STOP THE FUCKING MADNESS!!  I CAN’T TAKE IT ANYMORE!”?

If your husband and kids are standing across the room staring at you with wide eyes as if you have lost your mind, you’re not alone.  In fact more and more women are finding themselves in a space of loneliness, frustration and downright fear of losing control of their lives.

Once again the modern world has brought blessings and curses.  It has become a time where women are finding themselves physically isolated and lonely, craving friendship and the age-old sisterhood that we have in our genes.  Instead of a hug and a cup of coffee with a mom, a sister, or a bff, we are spending hours on social media trying desperately to make meaningful connections.   Women in years gone by have always gathered and talked.  That is simply what we do.  It is the way in which we figure out what is going on in our minds, our lives, our relationships, our businesses.  It is our natural processing mechanism.   But globalisation keep taking us on new adventures.  We don’t give much thought to packing up and moving to another continent, everybody does it.  Yet some studies still rate moving as the 3rd most stressful life event after death and divorce.

Do we give ourselves some slack?

Do we put in some support mechanisms for ourselves?

Hell no!  Are you crazy?

We have to make sure hubby gets off to work as quickly as possible while we unpack and make sure the house is transformed into home asap.  We make sure the kids settle as quickly as possible so that their school grades don’t drop and so that they won’t miss their old friends too much.  And of course we keep the business going uninterupted because heaven forbid we should not market for a week.

Does anyone else see the insanity in this?

Don’t even get me started on how little support women are given when they are starting up an online business and they are not an ‘overnight success’.  I’m not talking about being told what they should be doing by all the adverts out there promising them the magic formula.  I’m talking about genuine support of ‘Shit girl I hear you.  I’m not going to try and save you but I hear you and no you’re not stupid or crazy.  It’s normal.  I hear you.’

So women do the exact opposite of what they are designed to do.  They keep quiet.  They put on a brave face and they keep going.  They start putting on weight and then get angry with themselves because their pants are tight.  Their hair starts going grey and they get irritated because they have to color more often.  They get exhausted and they pop more vitamins in a desperate attempt to get their bounce back.

All the time that bitch called stress is eating up their dreams.  Their souls.  Their lives.


From Victim to Leader in a Single Word

Our thoughts create our words create our experience create our life.

The words we use to describe things—to ourselves and others—affects how we and they think and act. It’s good to remind ourselves that this powerful influence happens in all kinds of situations and most certainly with language related to business and relationships

It was Thomas Moore who wrote “The words a leader chooses are just as critical as their actions”.

I was recently reminded of this through an email from a lady who felt that she had been done wrong by because of her circumstances.  On the one hand she claimed that she had a deep desire to be a leader in the community, on the other her language was smacking of victim.

Truth is that we can only be one or the other – leader or victim.

Marie Forleo gives a transformative exercise whereby you turn your can’t into won’t.

For the victim this will sound insane.  “What does she mean I won’t when I can’t?”

Fact is though you can do anything you put your mind to.  Really – I’ve seen it done a thousand times before and will see it a thousand more.  When you stop buying into the black and white mentality which are the only options for the “I can’t” person, you will find an entire rainbow of possibilities that you can choose to act on, or not.

By rephrasing can’t to won’t you immediately take back your power and step out of victim sneakers and into power stilettos.

Remember your words shape your emotions which in turn shapes your action which in turn shapes your outcomes.

Why not give it a try?

  • Write down your number one goal that you are currently working on.
  • Now write down all the reasons you can possibly think of as to why you can’t achieve it.
  • Then take out all the can’ts and replace it with wont.

Doesn’t that feel like a ton has been lifted off your chest?  Do you feel the power of the decision?

Now own that darling and refuse to wear the cloak of victim again.

Want to experience some more power?

I’ve launched Corporate Kick-Ass to Entrepreneurial Diva for women over the age of 40 to make the transition without all the drama and confusion.  This is a free 3 part series which will save you thousands in lost revenue as you learn how to rock it in the on-line world of ‘the young’ with grace and style.

Because life really does begin at forty.



5 Places Entrepreneurs Tap Into Success

Remember the days in corporate when you confidently strutted into the board room and felt comfortable in the midst of power?

But the call to the world of entrepreneurship was strong so you packed up your briefcase, packed away your stilettos and headed off to inspire and impact others to bring out their greatness.

Months later you find yourself sitting on-line for hours desperate for some stimulating conversation.  Your spouse, your family, your friends just don’t get the journey you’re on and you feel isolated.  Slowly sliding backwards into the false sense that sitting in your pj’s all day with your laptop on your lap is wonderful and highly productive.

Sorry to tell you this Love, but you’re fooling yourself.

That slow slide into comfort is you surrounding yourself with the wrong people.  It is you buying in to the social profiles which have been posed, lighted and photoshopped whilst the authors you are talking to is sitting in their pj’s with their laptops feeling lonely.

It is called emotional contagion.  The phenomenon whereby you start thinking, feeling and acting like those you surround yourself with.


You ready to stop that BS?  Then it’s time to get back in the game called real life!


Here are some super easy ways to get there fast:

  1. Choose your social media groups well, get in, get out. Participate in the ones that motivate you, that add value to your life.  The ones where there is no moaning and bitching and drama.  Leave the rest.  Put a timer on so that you never spend more than 30 minutes online then get back to real.
  2. Become part of a master mind group. There are two types:  paid mastermind groups which are facilitated by a mentor / coach, and unpaid mastermind groups which are formed by business people who are all more or less on the same level but with different strengths.  Both of these have a place and both can be very powerful if you choose the right one.
  3. Go to powerful seminars. Again, scope it out first.  Is it being held at a classy venue?  Is there a dress code.  When people arrive in slippers I tend to not even get out of my car.
  4. Start training with the 5 am club. Have you seen the difference between the people who are in the gym at 5 am and the people who are there at 9?  I have worked in the fitness industry for many years and let me tell you that the 5 am crowd don’t fuck around.  They are not there to be seen, they are there to get ahead in the game.  Those are the people you want to train with, talk with, and start your day with.
  5. And lastly ladies, work with a coach who increases your vibration. Your next level coach.  The one that you have to stretch to work with.  That is the coach that will see what is missing from another perspective than what you have at the moment.  That is the coach that will kick your ass back into the game.

And that’s it.  At the end of the day it boils down to one thing:

How much do you love yourself?  How badly do you truly want to be successful?

You didn’t leave corporate to open a soup kitchen so get out of your drags, stop hiding and get into your life.

Remember that death is inevitable.  Thriving is a choice.


Writing is My VooDoo… A Brief Manifesto

By Susan Jacobs

“Writing is the only thing, that when I do it, I don’t feel like I should be doing something else.” – Gloria Steinem

I’ve always been drawn to and felt a kindred spirit with the underdog, those whose voice is not heard because it’s coming from the fringe of society.

Growing up in a white, liberal, middle-class creative, and entrepreneurial (before that was the ‘buzz’ occupation) household in New York City during the 60s and 70s, my sister and I were not taught to see race or cultural lines — we learned that people are people.  My friends looked like a United Colors of Benetton ad – black, white, Asian, Arabic, Muslim, European, African, and then some.

At age 10, I got to experience crossing borders and international travel when we went on a family summer vacation to Europe for three months.  We drove from France to Norway, zigzagging along the way, visiting museums, chateaus, sightseeing the standard haunts, and eating cheese, bread and fruit by the side of the road.

During our drives, we found our way through the slums and I remember begging my parents to let me out, crying that I didn’t want to go to museums, they could pick me up later, because I was drawn to the energy of the slums. I wanted to know more, get up close and personal, it seemed familiar, and where I belonged.

I wasn’t comfortable even at that young age around all things white.  For whatever reason, I saw imbalance and injustice and wanted to do something, or at least just soak it in to try and understand our differences.  This was probably the birth of my insatiable curiosity and, subconsciously, my ‘brand’ of giving voice to things that matter.

My sister and I attended the United Nations International School, for me, from fifth grade through high school.  At that time, we were part of the small quota of Americans who were accepted. This exposed me even further to a global perspective, and a hunger to cross borders and experience different cultures.

Years later, life and professional circumstances took me to Ghana and Angola in Africa, and Haiti, pre-earthquake. These life-enriching and life-changing experiences continue to inform who I am today. It was impossible not to see race lines in those countries.  It was the first time I ever experienced being the minority (aside from being a woman and a Jew).  But I was welcomed, safe, and witnessed unspeakable poverty, yet a generosity of spirit and heart that I’ve never encountered anywhere else.

After sometimes not seeing another white person for weeks at a time during my travels, I returned to Brooklyn and attended a Bob Dylan (an all time favorite) concert in Prospect Park.  It took me a while to identify my discomfort, but I finally did – the concert was filled with only white people, and I was extremely uncomfortable.

I write to share stories, experiences, and expand perspectives because we are all breath the same air.  We all need to eat, drink, pee, shit, sleep, give and receive love, and feel a sense of purpose and belonging.   We all have a story that’s worth hearing and from which we can learn and potential uplift another human being.

So today, perhaps become more curiosity and open your heart and mind to learning about someone you encounter that seems insignificant for whatever reason.  The world is upside down so let’s up our human being game.  As the old AT&T phone company ad used to say, “Reach out and touch someone.”  It’s magical, amazing, and transformative when we make those human connections in unexpected ways. Don’t know about you but I welcome magical moments!

Please feel free to comment or share this post.

Susan JacobsI’m a world traveler, salsa dancing, yoga practicing, wanna-be Buddhist, and perpetual work-in-progress.  I believe we are co-creators of our lives and that anything is possible when we get out of our own way.  Giving voice to things that matter, spreading ideas, and expanding perspectives is the heart and soul of who I am and what I do.

Writing has been part of my DNA, career, and creative outlet for as long as I can remember. For-hire, I’m a copy and content writer and strategist working with coaches that are looking to make the world a better place through human evolution. As a coach, the strongest selling point and differentiator you have is your personal journey and transformation. As a professional wordsmith, I make sure that your essence is conveyed to speak directly to your idea client, that your content and marketing are in alignment with the high quality of the product of services you offer, and are consistent across the board – website, blogs, newsletters, LinkedIn, and PR and branding materials.

I specialize in cutting through the noise and clutter with authentic, engaging, easily accessible content. From a 25-year career in PR, marketing, and branding I’m able to work to look at all aspects of your business and brand and provide a ‘fresh’ perspective, as an outsider, who creates content that anyone can understand.

I’m a contributing author to the recently published book “Pain, Purpose, Passion: That Was Then, This Is Now,” and my personal essays have appeared in FourTwoNine Magazine, Aquarian Times, Spirituality & Health, PR Week, and IndieWire. I’m working on her first memoir about my holistic healing journey through a hyperthyroid and Graves’ disease for The Round House Press. I’m also a guest blogger for Yogic Living and Identity Magazine. I live in Brooklyn and can be found at:

Website LinkedIn | Twitter

5 Powerful Habits that Breeds Success

Success is a mind-set.

It is about thinking the way successful people think.  Which translates into showing up in the way that successful people do, acting in the way that breeds more success, and most importantly feeling successful.

Yet I have found that it is way easier to train the body than to train the mind.  When we start training the mind we first have to go deep and identify all the bullshit that colors our way of seeing the world, which in turn affects the way we feel about the world and inherently this impacts the way we act in the world.

It is way easier to train the body to the point of automaticity which bypasses the bullshit and gets the results.

How do you do this?

Easy – you start doing some of the things that successful people do on a daily basis until it becomes your new norm.  Once this is in place the mind simply has to follow suite because a new reality is created.


No.  But still pretty awesome.

There are tons of really fantastic habits that successful people do on a continuous basis.  I am only focusing on 5 for you to get started.

Think of it as going to the gym – if you use every machine on the very first day, you would probably be too sore to sneeze without crying for the remainder of the week which will prevent you from continuing.  Result – a whole lot of pain with zero progress.

Let’s dive in and get you started!

Habit One: Successful people are part of the 5 am club.  Studies have shown that people who get up at 5 and devote the first hour of their day to mind-set and self care are ahead in the game.  It is a mental win knowing that whilst the rest of the world is sleeping, you are hustling.  And not just any hustle – you are journaling, learning from your yesterday, setting your intention for the day thereby taking control, and setting the tone for the next 24 hours.

Habit Two:  Successful people have clearly defined goals.  That’s right!  A goal without a deadline is just another dream.  A goal without clarity and precision is a fairy-tale.  Your goal should be specific, it should be measurable, actionable, realistic and have a definite time by which to achieve it (SMART).

Habit Three: Successful people track their goals.  They understand that goal attainment is had by seeing the gap between your desired outcome and current position.  It is only by continuously understanding what is still missing that you can take the necessary action to move you forward.

Habit Four:  Successful people take consistent action.  Yes darling, every single day – not just on the days that you feel like it.  Why?  Because successful people understand that a life dictated by emotion is a rollercoaster ride going nowhere fast!  Then again I have found that successful people understand the purpose of their goals which has them on fire.  If you are driven to succeed, you are driven to act.  There is no place for sitting around waiting for the next minute to tick past.

Habit Five:  Successful people invest in themselves.  Robin Sharma states that in order for you to double your income, you have to triple your investment in self development.  I find that there is still a huge misunderstanding around what coaching is in many parts of the world.  Coaching, the way I was trained and how I work with my clients, is not therapy.  It is definitely not for people who need help.  Coaching is for the elite performers who desire to be at the top of their game.  It is about playing bigger than ever before.  It is about being held accountable and achieving the results you set out to achieve.  Successful people know this.  They work with high level coaches.  They have libraries instead of Netflix.  They are investing in the right programs with the right mentors at the right time.


It is so easy to say that you want to be successful.  Honestly I’ve never heard anyone say they want to be a loser.

However, talk is cheap.  It is your actions that count.  It is your actions, not your words, that will dictate your level of success in your life.

Looking at your life right now and the habits that drive your day-to-day activities, how successful will you be in 90 days from now?


HELP! My client is a nightmare!

This is my personal truth.

One of the most common themes I hear from new coaches is that their clients drain them!

I remember those days!  At first you are so excited to finally be signing up a client you simply cannot wait to get started and change their life.  After all, the only thing you’ve ever wanted to do was help people and you now have the qualification and the skills to do so.

Except coaching should come with a warning label:  sort out your own shit first!

The Big U says that on this journey called life we are here to learn some lessons. And when you mess with her fun by joining the leagues of disruptors, she is going to make damn sure that she gets her worth out of you!  This leads to an attraction of clients who not only find your most vulnerable buttons and pushes them relentlessly, but they tend not to fucking shift!!  No matter what you do or which tools you use, they remain stuck.  And because you are on a mission to ‘help’ them, you drag up every last bit of energy in an attempt to make it better for them.


Listen, I’m not here to judge.  The only reason I can write this blog today is because I’ve been through the journey.  Ten years ago coaching was brand new in South Africa and there were not a lot of coaches to learn from.  That is not the case anymore.  Coaching has sky-rocketed globally so rather learn from the oldies’ mistakes and save yourself the heartache.

You want to attract your dream clients?  Once again it starts with YOU!

Wayne Dyer framed it so beautifully when he said you don’t get what you want, you get what you are.  Which means if you’re not loving your clients it is time to do some work on yourself.

Don’t stress!  We are all continuously growing but here are some steps to get you to loving your clients:

  1. Bust the buttons.  Yes, hire yourself a top notch coach and find out what is happening in your subconscious mind.  It is much less painful to work through your triggers with a supportive, kick-ass coach then to have them pushed by your clients.
  2. Stop wanting to help people.  You  are a coach, not a savior, not a therapist.  You are here to empower others by guiding them in a non-evasive journey.  One in which you simply assist them to uncover their own truths, their own power, and they can then choose to own it, or not.
  3. Work on your wealth consciousness.  Don’t even put out your first package until you have read The Science of Getting Rich five times!  As long as you have a scarcity mentality you will just give and give and give to the blood suckers who are NOT serious about their personal development in the first place.  These are the people who tend to want to be rescued.  Refer them to the soup kitchen.
  4. Figure out your message.  What is it that you bring to the table of life?  What is the thing that completely lights you up?  The topic that you never get tired of speaking about, learning about, talking about?
  5. Decide on who would excite you to work with.  Yes, excite you!  Not make you happy.  My clients have me on fire!!  Why?  Because they are up to really big things in the world.  They are focused and dynamic and driven and go-getters and kick-assers and get shit done!  I can spend all day with them because they excite me!!  A really big hint is that you should be your ideal client 😉  If you don’t love hanging out with yourself, go back to point number one.

It truly is that easy.

I wish someone gave me this advise 10 years ago.  I would much rather have gone through 90 days of having my ass handed to me by a powerful coach than the two years I spent having my buttons pushed!  Yes, I still got the learning and I’m grateful to each and every client I worked with for that.  However looking back I now know there is an easy way to do things and a hard way to do things.  Hard is not always best.

This does not just apply to coaches by the way.  These five steps is for every entrepreneur in every industry.  Even if you are selling candy you are still interacting with your clients which means you can end up being energized throughout your day, or completely drained.

Your choice.

But remember, death is inevitable.  Thriving on the other hand, is a choice.

You want more?  Then download my free life audit worksheet on the side bar and start getting your life pointed in the right direction.