The Silent Warrior – Meet The Incredible Miss C

This is my personal truth.

When Adriaan told me that he would not be able to do the Sky Run with me this year, I was more than just a little disappointed.  Not only did I lose my training partner 3 weeks before the event last year, which means I know how tough those long hours of running is on your own, but I had set a goal to finish this year in a Sub 15 hours.  For most seasoned trail runners this seems a walk in the park.  For an old lady with many injuries, a fear of heights, and no sense of direction, it is a challenge.  Plus you all know by now how very loud those voices in my head can get when I’m out there on my own!

So once again I started asking around for anyone who is up for a magnificent adventure.  For some strange reason though, there appears to be very few people who, like myself, commit to seemingly out of reach goals before figuring out the how.  Personally I find this to be half the fun.

Eventually I decided to ask the Universe.  I drew up a list of requirements of my perfect racing partner.  This is a powerful tool that I use consistently in my life and I have seen the amazing results my clients get through this as well.  From business associates, to perfect clients, to your soul mate – simply draw up a list of the characteristics that you want in this person and let the Universe work its magic.

But back to my perfect racing partner – she would have to be a woman who can talk a lot without needing any responses (I am normally too busy trying my utmost to breathe and not pass out to even attempt answering).  She would have to be new to trail running as well so we could learn and explore together.  She needs to be an endurance athlete who has the fitness needed for this event.  She would definitely require a magnificent sense of humor!  A lady who is focused and committed.  And one with a sprinkle of nuts to say !  Sounds like a tall order and even I was wondering about the likelihood of this happening.

And the Universe delivered the Incredible Miss C!!Miss c5

Well I didn’t really ask for a woman who looks like a model at 6 am for a run, but then again the Universe loves over-delivering!

The Incredible Miss C is the perfect partner for me.  Not only is she more than a decade younger than me, but she is fast as hell and honestly one of the gentlest souls I have ever met.  She is the ice to my fire, but with a core of steel and some glutes to match!  If we were a Caramelo Bear, I would be the chocolate and she the caramel.

The Incredible Miss C completed her first Comrades this year in a time which put a lot of veterans to shame.  She has also turned into the most relentless voice in my head every time I go out training, with or without her.  Talk about having to up my game!!  I have to train harder, run faster, and become a little more fearless on the rocks.

In return, I keep her grounded, bring my determination and enthusiasm to the table, as well as the emotional support which I know will be crucial on the day.

Did I mention she is a hell of a lot of fun to hang out with??

No longer can I miss a training session, or cut short on the intervals, or eat that extra slab of chocolate.  Because the Sky Run is no longer just about my personal goal.  By teaming up with an awesome runner, I not only have the support that I was seeking, but an accountability partner of note!

Miss c4

But that is exactly what is needed when we set incredible goals.  The people we surround ourselves with is crucial to our success.  You become like those who you associate yourself with which means that if you want to be a winner, you better make damn sure you have winners on your team!!

 

 

It might be time to look at those you have chosen to surround yourself with and ask yourself if they are lifting you up or pulling you down in the pursuit of your goals.  I know we sometimes really struggle to let go of those people who have been in our lives for a very long time, but if you are keeping them in your life out of guilt, or even worse to subconsciously blame them for playing small, you are not doing anyone any favors.  Love them enough to let them walk their own journey instead of continuously using them as an excuse to hold yourself back.

And when you decide to love yourself enough to seek out those who will let you live your dreams, the Universe will always bring an Incredible Miss C who will celebrate your victories with you!

Walk with honor.

The Silent Warrior – Moving Into The Pain

This is my personal truth.

I hold her soft warm body gently in my arms.  Cleo looks up at me with her piercing emerald green eyes, filled with love, filled with trust.  Not understanding why the tears are silently running down my cheeks.  Not understanding why we are in this strange place and why they had put this piece of plastic into her leg.  Not understanding why I keep whispering “I’m so sorry” over and over again.

But I know.  I know and my heart is shattering into a million pieces.

I was expecting her to fight.  She was always fighting.  There were always claws and hissing and loud war cries involved.  But not in this moment.  She is so still.  She doesn’t move.  Just keeps looking into my eyes.

“Are you ready?” the vet asks in a quiet voice.  I nod and watch as he inserts the needle into the drip and slowly pushes the liquid into her body.  Instantly her body goes limp in my arms.  Not the type of limp that we are familiar with.  It is as if her insides have turned into pure liquid and only her skin is holding her together.

Never before have I understood at this level that it is not our bones or muscles that give us solidity.  It is only our souls.  The moment the soul leaves the body, nothing solid stays behind.  I have never understood at this level.  And I don’t understand in this moment because my mind is going numb with pain.  I will only understand in a few days from now when I ask a different question on my run.

The vet leaves the room.  I look at her little body in my arms.

I don’t know what to do.  I don’t want to put her on the cold metal table so instead I take her blanket out of the carrier and gently wrap her in it.

I don’t know what to do.  So I move into the pain.

My knees give and as I sink to the floor I hear all the heartbreak being torn from my body. And I cry.

I cry because for the past 11 years this furry little cat has been my ‘beautiful monster in the cupboard’.  She has been my husband’s little princes.

I cry because Cleopatra was probably one of the most beautiful cats who have ever lived, but the world never got to see her beauty because she was terrified of life and so she lived in my bathroom cupboard.  The only people who were ever allowed to touch her were myself and my husband.

I cry because she was my daughter.  I have seen her grow from a tiny little bundle of fur into a beautiful young woman.  I held her when she was pregnant and stayed by her side when she gave birth.  I saw her sadness when her kittens found new homes.  I saw her fear growing as she got older and her world became smaller and smaller until all that was left was the bathroom cupboard.

I cry because I love her.

Eventually the vet comes back.  I don’t know what to do so I say “Can we leave her in the blanket?  I don’t want her to get cold.”  He nods his head and says “Few have the courage to do the right thing.”

Few have the courage to do the right thing.  But I have to be courageous.  Because I am a warrior.

The path of the warrior is not an easy one.  And sometimes it means following the pain so that we can understand the lessons that lies hidden underneath.

As I look around the world I see so many people hurting.  But they don’t have the courage to go into the pain and so instead they try to numb it with alcohol or drugs or food or sex or over work.  Society is teaching us that pain is a bad thing to be avoided at all cost!  Yet I have learned in my life that pain, both physical and emotional, is a master teacher who provides me the opportunity to become stronger.  And that strength is needed to have the courage to stand up in this world and speak our truth with honor.

One of the most profound lessons I’ve ever learned is that our outer world is a reflection of our thoughts, both conscious and unconscious.  The reason why most people refuse to embrace this truth is because of the power that it places in our hands!  Indeed, we are the co-creators of our lives.

While life is wonderful and things go our way this power is easy to embrace.  Yet when times get tough we stubbornly refuse to find the truth in this because it hurts like hell!  Instead we blame the world at large, the government, the economy, our family, the availability of drugs, war, poverty, the list is endless.

As entrepreneurs we experience pain on a  regular basis.  After all, when starting a company, we are birthing a dream, and we raise that dream as if it is a child.  And that child needs to learn how to walk, and fall, and get scraped knees, and get criticized by others – and that hurts.  Sometimes we close that big deal and we are euphoric in our power.  Other times the deals go sour, the bank accounts run on empty and the pain is immense.  We lie awake at night wondering how we are going to turn this around.  Sometimes we have to let our employees go – and that hurts!!  As entrepreneurs we have got to learn to move into the pain, to learn the lessons hidden underneath so that we can heal the negative beliefs and move forward to prosper!

I don’t mean to make this sound like an easy process.  It’s not.  For one thing I know I first have to experience the pain.  I have to allow my body to feel it.  I have to allow my body and my mind to go down into the dark and to be immersed in this.  There always comes a time when I simply can’t bare the pain anymore and that is when I reach out to the Universe for strength.  This is when I hand over to God and ask for the lessons that I need to learn in order for me to move back into the light.  I ask, I trust, I let go.

And the answers always find me.  Not immediately, but when I’m ready.  Sometimes it takes days.  Sometimes it takes months.  Some of my greatest answers have taken years to find me.  But they always do.  In all honesty, most of my insights have always happened whilst I was training.  It still does.  Ask, trust, let go.

I believe that as entrepreneurs we have chosen to be warriors!  We have chosen to walk a path filled with challenges that can make us stronger, so that we can lead the way for others.

I’m sharing this experience of my personal loss with you today to encourage you to move into the pain and uncover the learning so that you can become stronger and walk in this world the proud warrior that you were born to be.  Warriors cry because they are brave enough to feel pain.  Warriors don’t try to numb the pain with external drugs which will eventually lead to nothing but death.

warrior_cat-HDThe loss of Cleo still sits heavy in my heart.  But she has reminded me to follow the pain.  She has reminded me to never waste my life and my message by hiding in the cupboard.  To rather take the punches along with the hugs because that is how I know I am alive!  She has given me the beautiful insight that it is my soul that holds my body upright, and that my soul is more powerful than any bone or muscle.  My soul burns with passion and that passion is what drives me forward every single day.  My body is simply the vehicle that takes me around.  She has reminded me that at the end of the day, my soul is energy and energy is eternal.  Therefor Cleo is eternal.

Walk proud in the halls of Valhalla my brave cat warrior.  For you have brought so much goodness to my life and I am eternally grateful to you.  And in celebration of your spirit, today I will walk with honor.

Viking prayer

The Silent Warrior – Finding Inspired Action

This is my personal truth.

The cursed hows

When embarking on the journey of any goal, the first thing people tend to ask me, is how?  What do they need to do in order to achieve the goal?  In fact, it has been my experience that the majority of people will stop right here if they don’t find the answers immediately.

I have learned that in order for me to set those really amazing goals, I don’t need to know how.  In fact, when I set them I don’t have a freaking clue of how I am going to achieve them.  But isn’t that part of the purpose of setting a goal?  To grow beyond your current experience and knowledge?  Because for me if the person in the mirror has all the answers at the outset, it really is a mediocre goal…

Plus let’s face it, things generally don’t tend to go the way we envisaged it at the outset.  That is probably one of the things I love about this great big adventure called life.  The unpredictability of it.  The waking up in the morning wondering what exactly the universe is going to throw my way, and how I am going to incorporate it into my life to still get to my desired outcome.

Have I mentioned that my goals are non-negotiable?

There is a very good reason why I put my Inspired Action Plan in the last column.  That is because I first want to commit and get super excited about my goals, thereby raising my energy and tap into my creativity.  Then I stop, I meditate, and start from where I’m at.  Here is what my inspired action plan looked like when I set my goal for the SkyRun:

SkyRun Goal2

Most people start looking at what to do from the outside.  The easy stuff.  BUT, the magic truly does lie inside you.  If you want to achieve what you have not done before, start by working on yourself.  Your thoughts, your beliefs, what you think is possible and not possible, and what has stopped you from achieving this before now.

As I’m sure you can see, I’ve taken some lessons from my previous SkyRun attempt and built that in as my base.   For instance, I know by now that this type of event is 20 % physical, 80 % mental.  This is why daily meditations are crucial for me personally.  Having a kick-ass mantra and a master spiritual mentor definitely helps.  And when I get tired I chant “I’m a lean mean endurance machine!!”  I’m not even joking – the further the run, the louder the chant.  Luckily peoples’ amazed reactions no longer bother me, and if I can make a stranger laugh at this crazy old ducky, all the better!

Reading is to my mind what squats are for my glutes.  When all else fail I return to read Relentless by Tim Grover.  Haven’t read it yet?  Get a copy!  This book is real, inspirational and very honest!  It is the typical TTFU attitude that I embrace and absolutely thrive on.

Fred2And TTFU is exactly what it takes.  See the very last teeny weeny little line that says Saturday morning group runs?  It took a very long time for me to put this on the list as the runs are with some kick-my-ass veterans, on very technical terrain which has me crawling in the back, not to mention the fact that it is normally still dark and bloody cold when they start.

 Comfort zone?  What comfort zone????  But I know this is exactly what I need to get stronger and faster so I will continue to be the little old lady in the back for another month or two, and then I will be with the kick-ass leaders in the front!  Pretty cool prospect 🙂

To up my game even further, God has provided me with an inspiring race partner!  The Incredible Miss C, who is more than a decade younger than me and who just completed the Comrades in an amazing time, is this continuous voice in my head that pushes me harder every training session.  Never letting me stop a meter before the indicated distance, never letting me run a second slower than the indicated pace, this woman has got me working harder than ever before, and she doesn’t even know it!

And of course I would not go on this journey without some really remarkable coaches who not only know their stuff, but who understand me and how to get the best out of me.  Between Fred Richardson who works my body and Alex Nagy who works my soul, I am being stretched and supported on all fronts.

Fred

There are 2 really important things to remember when starting out on your inspired action plan:

1.  I have no intention to work myself to death!!  There is a reason I called it inspired action and that is because each action needs to have a purpose and will make sense in my journey towards the end goal;

2.  It is NOT written in stone!!  Life happens, circumstances change, obstacles are put in our way to show us how much we want something.  My list gets revisited every week.  I have a look at what works really well and do more of that.  I look at what is not working well and either drop it or change it.

chipmunkFor instance, my body seems to have gone into complete shock after my operation and started piling on the weight as if winter was coming and the world is running out of nuts!

You get the picture right?  So I entered the WellIAm challenge thinking that this will help me to shake the extra pounds.  Result?  My body goes into a horrendous 2 year old tantrum and accelerates my weight gain!!

Lesson learned – I stop the challenge, do some meditations around my body, relax, return to my normal eating and continue training.  Sigh, the weight is finally coming off little by little.  On the positive side I did find out I have extremely high cholesterol by going for the entrance tests, so have started taking medication to rectify the situation.  Everything comes across our path for a reason – trust the Universe.

I also find that when I relax a little bit into the process and seek the flow, things happen easier for me.  It is all about learning – about being willing to try, screw up, try something different, and finding success.

It has been a tough week so far.  As I sit here writing, my legs are killing me, my eyes are burning a little as I’ve been up since 3 am due to my soul being super excited about the day ahead.  But I love tough because I’m a warrior!  I am working towards some truly inspiring goals – in my personal life, my professional life, my family life, and my physical life.   I have more than enough fire in my belly because I know when to push, and when to recover.  And right now, it is time to put my head down and go to the next level!

What are you working towards?

Until next time, walk with honor.

The Silent Warrior – Out of the mouths of babes

This is my personal truth.

When we learn to stay open to the input of the Universe, whilst staying focused on our goals, some pretty amazing things come our way.  This is how I found myself at the Suits and Sneakers event last Thursday night to be inspired to a new level of learning.

As most people were sitting in the audience intently listening to the words, I was listening to what was not being said.  In fact, I was observing mastery in action from some pretty young people who challenged me to raise my game!  I must be honest, before this event I had never heard of Mark Sham or Brent Lindeque and as I sat studying them I was truly touched by Mark’s passion and Brent’s compassion (he is like the male alter-ego of Mother Theresa), which combined was moving in excess of a thousand people within 40 minutes.  Brilliant!!

Brent Lindeque

As a large portion of my client base consists of entrepreneurs who focus on wealth creation, some of my favorite books are Think and Grow Rich by Napoleon Hill, as well as Leveraging the Universe by Mike Dooley (I highly recommend you read them).  And here on stage, was the theory in action!

Both these guys have a very clear purpose and a burning desire for a specific outcome.  Both of them know the impact they wish to create, they take massive amounts of action, and then they trust the Universe to come to the party and create some magic!  And believe me, it is some pretty impressive magic.

But it goes further than this!

As I was leaving I had the opportunity to shake Brent’s hand and I thought to myself, how can such a young person be so brave and be so visible in the world to make a change, when most of my generation seems to be hiding?  And by default, why am I not making the impact he is?  This stayed with me all night.  Truth be told I didn’t sleep much after the event and when I heard an owl at 2 am, I knew that something had shifted for me.  I understood that wisdom is knowledge in action, and that our youth was teaching us this valuable lesson.  I need to use my knowledge and take more action to add more value to your life!!

As I went out for my run Saturday morning, I noticed how clean the gutters were from all the rain the night before.  It felt amazing to see the beauty in my neighborhood again.  As I carried on though, I could see the individual bottles and pieces of paper lying next to the walls and on the pavements.  I think what really hit me was the fact that I know our outer world is a reflection of our inner world.  And for the first time I understood that a lot of my stress, and the tension, disease, irritation and general feeling of discontent which I am experiencing from people in general, stems from our dirty suburbs.   The question popped into my head – what would Brent do?  And so the One Bag Nominations were born!

 

Let’s be honest, picking up rubbish is NOT the most glamorous way to spend the cool-down session of my run.  And I won’t gross you out with the details of what I picked up.  But every item which I picked up and threw into a bin, left me with a tremendous sense of achievement and contribution.  Because I know countless people will be driving to work feeling a little lighter, even if they don’t know why.  I will never again go on a run without picking up some of the litter and cleaning up my world!

Once again I was able to align my life purpose with my goal of completing the Sky Run which in turn increases my dedication.  I hope you are starting to see the bigger picture…

spider webLife is like a huge spider web.  When we are busy weaving it we tend to only see what is right in front of us.  But God, the Universe, your Higher Power, whatever you believe in, sees the bigger picture and how it is all interconnected.  My purpose, my goal, my learning, the people I get to meet on my journey, the people I get to inspire along the way, and in my own little way, I am leaving the world a better place.

 

You were born to be a warrior.  To live in purpose and honor.  To contribute to the world in your unique way.

Join me in making our world a cleaner place, because God has made it breath-takingly beautiful!

Walk with honor.

 

The Silent Warrior – A letter of gratitude to you

This is my personal truth

Dear Fellow Traveler

I see you and I am in awe of you.

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I see you wake up some mornings, still exhausted.  Finding it so hard to remember your purpose, your drive.  Yet you keep going.  Your feet hit the floor, your legs carry you to the kitchen, you make a cup of coffee.  Your will-power to keep going is astounding.  Thank you for showing me perseverance.

 

 

 

Isn’t it crazy how we have created a society where happiness seems almost elusive for most people?  And yet, you find moments of laughter and pure joy no matter where you are.  You still remember how to smile, and when you do so, you brighten up the day for everyone around you.  You make me smile.  You show me how to sing and dance with abandon!  The twinkle in your eyes light up my existence.  Thank you for showing me joy.most7

 

Some days you look in the mirror and you cringe.  You judge the extra weight that you carry around your belly or the over-sized clothes that you use to hide your beautiful curves.  Be gentle with yourself today.  Instead of judging the weight, try to understand the purpose of it.  What is the story it is telling you?  About the pain that it is trying to protect you from.  About the danger that it tries to hide you from.   Be gentle.  Understand.  Forgive.  I do.  Thank you for showing me vulnerability.

You deal with so much stress on a continuous basis.  You carry so much responsibility, not just for yourself, but for those who choose to be in your life in whatever role or duration of time.  You carry this in silence.  Not wanting to share your burden.  Not wanting to make it harder for those around you.  You are strong beyond even your own imagination.  You just don’t see it the way I do.  Thank you for showing me courage.

 

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There are times when I know you have come to the end of the line and you are completely at a loss of where to from here.  In a world that demands perfection you reach a point whereby you acknowledge to yourself that you are not the Superman of your childhood and that sometimes so much shit hits the fan that all you can do is crouch down and cover your head.  Thank you for showing me humbleness.

 

 

At times the pain becomes almost unbearable and your body seeks release through the out-pour of tears and you scream your torment to the Universe!  Yet you never throw that excruciating pain my way.  Instead you wait for the storm to pass, you find strength through a higher power and you show me the stars shine even in the darkest night.  Even in your time of hurt, you find ways to support others.  Thank you for showing me compassion.

 

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My Dear Fellow Traveler, I see you and I am in awe of you.  You are the reason I get up every day.  You are the reason I continue to grow as a person, as a coach, as a mother, as a wife, as a daughter, as a sister, as a friend, as a human.  You are the inspiration in my darkest hours.  You are the reason I continue to seek out my fears.  You are the reason I keep believing in the good of humanity.  Because no matter how bad things look, there is always a magnificent light within you which I see.  And I am in awe of that light.

My Dear Fellow Traveler – Thank you.most1

 

 

The Silent Warrior – Committing to the Destination

This is my personal truth.

Commitment – The act of binding yourself (intellectually or emotionally) to a course of action.

I have reached a stage in my life where I make very few commitments.  That is because I’ve made a decision along the way that my commitments are non-negotiable.  And that has a huge impact on myself, my loved ones, my life, my purpose, and even on you.

Every day I witness what I have termed the ‘Yes’ epidemic, where people really struggle to say no to requests which seem to come relentlessly out of every possible direction.  The result is that there is a tendency to say yes before understanding or exploring the implications of agreed-upon outcome and once the sacrifice and true commitment becomes apparent, the majority of people back-track or simply don’t follow through.  The result?  A break-down in commitment and honor, a break-down in trust and relationships, a break-down in society.

everyone wants

This does not mean that I’m the type of person who takes forever to make a decision!  After all, I live by my logo of 20 seconds of insane courage.  Knowing my life purpose does make it all a lot easier and faster.  If I am presented with a challenge or opportunity, I simply ask myself if it is in line with my purpose to inspire and my values of spirituality, family, health, wealth through impact and adventure.  If the answer is yes, I commit.  If the answer is no, I decline.  I don’t necessarily have to know HOW I am going to get to the finish line, just that it will challenge me, change me, and make me a stronger and better person who can serve on a higher level.

I originally committed to doing the SkyRun 2014 to inspire some of my clients to get out of their comfort zones.  One of my personal philosophies is to never ask anything of anyone that I am not prepared to ask of myself.  It was one of those crazy moments where I said yes before doing the research, and when I looked on the internet to see what the race was all about, I crapped myself!  Literally!

When you have no sense of direction, zero navigational skills, have never done a trail run, have a debilitating fear of heights, and don’t even camp unless the tent is made of bricks, you realize the enormity of this goal and what it is going to take just to survive the day.  On the other hand fear is a brilliant motivator to get yourself out training in the worst weather conditions whilst average people choose to stay in bed for another two or three hours.  Plus, if there is one thing I believe in as a warrior, it is honor.  My word is my honor and that is how I found myself at the start line of the Salomon SkyRun in November 2014.

Long story made short, I gave it everything I had and I was devastated to admit defeat at the 60 km mark with a twisted knee and a sprained ankle.  But even as I sat crying whilst the doctor was prescribing medication, I knew that I would be back this year.  Commitment made!

In my personal experience, putting your goals down in writing is crucial.  There is something about seeing it black on white that makes it a little more real for me.  I have designed this Committed Goals Sheet which I complete for every goal I set.  I look at these sheets every single morning, recommitting to my goals and planning my days accordingly (more on this in the coming weeks).

SkyRun Goal

As stated before, I’m not too worried about the how at the onset.  That will come.  What is important for me is the specific goal, and the purpose of the goal.  I have to see a positive impact in all areas of my life before I will commit.  And it has to get me excited.  No excitement.  No energy.  No action.  No chance.

I have found an effective way for me to make an emotional connection to my goals, is through a visual image of the experience I’m after.  A vision board works brilliantly for some goals, but never underestimate what you can find on YouTube.  This is after all how I committed to my first IronMan event, and it sure scared the daylights out of me to ensure complete commitment to the SkyRun.

So what are you truly committed to achieving this year?  Why are you committed to this and what will the impact of achievement be on you as a person as well as your life in totality?  Think BIG, HAIRY AND SCARY!

Walk with honor.

 

The Silent Warrior – It’s Time For War!

There are few things as powerful as the right mantra!  Nothing changes your energy and focus as fast as saying the right words with feeling – charging up your body with electric energy and enabling you to access the deep regions of the brain where your true creativity and power lies.

Join me for the next 90 days as I start each morning with my personal mantra which I have adapted from a motivational cd.

Remember that emotion is key!

DAILY MANTRA – IT’S TIME FOR WAR

Today, right now, I am going to war.

I am going to war with my opponent.  I am going to war with myself.

I am not scared. I am prepared.  I am not weak. I am a machine, a freak!

I am focussed!!!

I am focussed and I will not lose sight of that.  Not today, not tomorrow, next week or next year.

Today is my day.  No-one will get in the way of my dreams, my growth or my desire to be the very best in my chosen field.

Yes!  I said the best!  No one has the right to take the mantle from me.

I will sacrifice until I reach the very top!  No matter how hard it gets.  No matter how many times life beat me down, I will get up every time.  I will fight tooth and nail.

Desire, Drive, Determination and Fire – they burn within me.  I will not back down.  I will not relent.  When my body screams no, I will scream louder – Yes!  Give me more.  Push me harder.  Because I know my courage lies in my heart.   My heart is stronger than my body.  No-one has a stronger mind, a stronger heart.  Send 10 000 men and I will defeat them all with my heart alone.

I am focussed.

I have the heart of a lion, the strength of ten and the bleeding desire of a thousand men.  I am prepared for battle.  I am prepared to soar.  Come at me I dare you.   It’s time for war!

Respect is not given, it is earned.  I don’t need an alarm clock, my goals wake me, my desire wakes me,  my purpose wakes me.  I don’t need Hades to fuel my fire.  My purpose is my fire.  My family is my fire.  My greatness is my fire.  I don’t need other’s opinions.  I have my own opinions.  I have my own heart.  I have my own dreams.  There is nothing I cannot be, do or have.

No-one can tell me what I can or can’t do.  I decide what is possible for me.  I decide what path I will choose.  I will decide what sacrifices will be made.  Which people will walk with me.  Which people I must let go.  I decide how big my goals are, how crazy they might seem to ordinary people.  I am FAR from ordinary!  I don’t pick average anything – I am anything but average.

I will want more.  I will be more.  Because I will give more.  More effort, more pain, more sacrifice. More heart, more courage, and what comes next?  More reward!

There is nothing I cannot be, do or have.  No-one can tell me what I can or can’t do.  I decide what is possible for me.  I decide what path I will choose.  I will decide what sacrifices will be made.

I WILL LIVE MY DREAM!  BE FEARLESS…

The Silent Warrior – Setting Course

This is my personal truth.

There is no lack of knowledge in the world.  Anything that you could possibly want to know, you can find out with relative ease either through reading books, picking someone’s brain, or the most convenient option of the internet.  I find that most of the time there is in fact way too much knowledge available and it can become so overwhelming that a lot of people get stuck – kind of like a deer in the headlights.

Wisdom on the other hand – the integration and daily living of knowledge – is as scarce as chicken teeth!  This is because most of us are not shown how to translate knowledge to wisdom.  We get given the information but since almost all of this is done through verbal or written instruction, the practical application is hard to figure out.  When we think back to the days of the apprentice, we realize that the base of the knowledge was done through verbal (and sometimes written) instruction, followed by being shown repeatedly how it is done, and that was followed by years of physically practicing your art.  This lead to the apprentice becoming a master in his / her chosen field.

To assist you in making this the best year of you life, I have decided to share my knowledge as an Elite Performance Coach with you through practical example.  In the coming months I will be taking you along on my personal journey as I work to achieve my next big goal – The Salomon Sky Run.  On this journey I will show you the tools which I personally use, the books I read, the support systems I use, my personal thoughts, feelings of struggles, wins, hurts and laughs.

Please remember that it has been a decade of intense personal learning that got me to the point where I am today, and a lot of work has gone into cultivating the mind-set which I will share with you.  In addition, I still work very closely with coaches, mentors and some spectacular MasterMind partners.  Why?  Because I have learned that the Master is the Eternal Student.  The moment we think we know it all, or can do it all on our own, is the moment we have lost the advantage which is always needed to be at the top of our game.

So if you are ready – let’s get started!

There are two very important foundations which underlies my goal:  1.  the understanding of my life purpose and 2.  knowing my personal values.  In my humble opinion and in my experience working with some amazing clients, these are the core ingredients needed to set meaningful goals and live a truly brilliant life.

I like to think of life as a biiiiiiig ocean.  Most people get into a boat and start drifting.  Heading east for a while, and then changing direction to south.  Only to find themselves heading north after some time and then they are back facing east again.  Result – very little progress over a long period of time with no sense of true satisfaction.  This is why we need to understand our life purpose.  Once you have identified your purpose you are able to decide the direction you will be going in.  That means that no matter how many times a storm comes along and blows you off course, you can still course-correct and keep moving forward with drive and determination.

DriftingValues on the other hand, is making sure you are riding the right boat for you.  For some people, those values mean that they need to be in a little dingy to feel powerful, for others it is a luxury cruiser.  If you never take the time to figure out your values, you might spend your entire life chasing a luxury cruiser (because society tells you that is what you should want), but then the moment you get on board you go crazy with boredom, becoming fat and lazy because you really want to sit and row!  On the flip-side of the coin, if your values dictate that cruiser and you are sitting in a kayak, you are going to moan and bitch the whole time about how hard this is and be miserable as hell.  What I am trying to say is that there is no right or wrong, but there is a right and a wrong FOR YOU!  So often I meet people with what appears to be brilliant goals which they never achieve because they are in conflict with their true values and so a – brings them no joy and b – they always find subconscious ways to sabotage their progress.  Don’t be that person! You can download the process I’ve personally used and which has proven very insightful to my clients Core Values.

Skyrun3

So how does my goal to do the Salomon Sky Run Lite in under 15  hours tie in with my purpose and my values?

My life purpose is to inspire others to wake to the possibility of their magnificence by achieving that which seems near impossible at the outset.  For those of you who have known me for a while, it will be easy to understand why this race is a huge stretch for me.  I have no athletic background as a child so zero muscle memory.  I have very limited trail running experience – in fact my first attempt at the Sky Run last year is my only true trail race to date.  I am getting older and my body is ummmm how should I put this eloquently, falling apart piece by piece.  I am terrified of heights, have no sense of direction and don’t even camp in a park never mind go walk in the wild.  Am I crapping myself yet?  You bet your life I am!! (20 seconds of insane courage)

When it comes to my values of family, spirituality, health and fitness, wealth and adventure, this goal certainly ticks all the boxes for me.  There is no ways I would even attempt this without the support of my family and my God.  In fact, one of my main reasons for doing this is continue setting an example for my boys which I hope will inspire them to live life fully one day.  I will definitely take my health and fitness to a brand new level to ensure that I don’t pick up the same injuries as last year and to get to the finish line!  And of course most importantly for me, it is going to be one helluva adventure!!!

The fact that my goal is truly aligned with my purpose and my values, gives additional fuel to my desire to accomplish it AND ensures that there are no internal struggles or feelings of guilt as I start working towards the achievement on a daily basis.  I know from experience that this is going to take all that I have, it is going to hurt, sacrifices will be made, and at the end of the day I will be a better person for achieving it.

Over to you.   I invite you to take some time to figure out your life purpose and top values.  Just by doing this I can guarantee a change in your life perspective and actions.  Remember that there is no right or wrong.  Deep down you already have all the answers – all you need to do is to take some time to hear the voice.

Take control of your future by deciding on your own course because you were born to be the master of your life, the captain of your ship.  Don’t be a passenger!

Walk with honor.

Why on earth are you setting goals?

This is my personal truth.

I find it fascinating how society keeps taking powerful tools and turning them into ways to keep the masses average.   One of the ways in which this is done is through information overload partnered by a lack of wisdom.

Confused? Let me explain through example.

Goals – we’ve all heard how important they are to set and that this is what sets the elite performers apart from everyone else.  So everyone got onto the band wagon and started setting goals.  They started off with really big goals, but few managed to achieve them.  So the goals got smaller, and still people are not achieving them.  Why?  Because mostly people are setting the wrong goals for the wrong reasons and therefore lack the motivation to push through the hard times.

In my opinion the purpose of setting a goal is to change an aspect of my life and the person who I am today compared to the person I will become when I achieve my desired outcome.

So first of all, it is personal!  It is never about pleasing other people.  It is never about living some else’s life for them.  It is about me, my life, and my personal growth.

Second, you can’t possibly set 5 to 10 life-changing goals and expect to put in the work that it will take to achieve them all at the same time!  My magic number is 3.  One is always physical (my body is my play-ground for mental toughness), one is always around my profession (turning my craft into mastery), and one is always around love (with all the magnificent people in my life, as well as my relationship with myself and the Universe).

Third, a goal is non-negotiable.  The pain of not achieving it should outweigh any pain that you will go through on your journey to achieve it.  And make no mistake:  magnificent goals means challenge and growth which always entails some measure of pain and discomfort.  If you are willing to walk away from a goal, then rather don’t set it!

Fourth, a goal is specific down to a T!  Please stop with the fluffy goals that mean Jack sh*t!  “I want to be in better shape” is not a goal!  That is you wanting to beat yourself over the head every time you get onto a scale or look in a mirror.  What does that even look like?  Or feel like?  And if it is going to be life-changing, why are you not in better shape already?  What do you value more than being in better shape that you got out of shape in the first place?  What is the real goal?

I don’t mean to sound cruel, but cruel is setting goals that you think will make you a better person but that has nothing to do with your purpose or true values. So you end up setting these goals that you have no true desire in achieving only to tell your subconscious mind “see, I told you you’e a failure!”  Stop being cruel to yourself.  Set specific goals that you WILL achieve no matter what and change the voice in your head.

We are officially half-way through the year.  There is no better time than today to review your goals and see if they really matter.  If you are stretching, aching and growing in your journey to achieve them.  Review your goals today, and if you are not working on them every single day, if they are not important enough to sacrifice for, change them!

If you are feeling stuck and would like to discover if elite performance coaching can take you to the next level in your life, I invite you to book a free discovery session here.  I stand for the goals that will change your mind, your body, your business, your relationships, your life.

Walk with honor!

The Silent Warrior – Finding your Big Why

This is my personal truth.

Can you imagine going to war, preparing yourself to die, without understanding your purpose?

Why would you keep fighting, even when you bleed, when the pain is ripping through your brain, when all seems lost and it would be so easy to just lie down and wait for it to be over?  Why would you keep fighting to your last breath without a big why?

The life of an entrepreneur is very similar to that of an ancient warrior.  If you don’t know why you are doing this in the first place, chances of failure is good.  That is because the life of an entrepreneur consists of many battles.  Of facing the possibility of failure, the death of your company, the pain of unpaid bills, the continuous fight when all around you business are closing down.  Only the entrepreneurs with purpose will survive.

My mentor once said that ‘your business is in service to your mission (not the other way around)’…  Those who start with ‘the why’ live an inspired life and have the ability to inspire those around them.’

That is because your why becomes this burning desire inside of you that drives everything that you do relentlessly.  A desire that refuses to give up no matter how hard circumstances may appear.  A desire that makes sense of chaos and when people question your truth.

To find your big why, take some time out to answer the following questions:

1. When you think about being in service to others through your work, what really lights you up?

2.  What comes most naturally to you that you absolutely love doing?

3.  What could you do for free all day long and never notice the time?

Be honest with yourself.  So often we are conditioned to give the ‘right’ answers to please others thereby missing the opportunity to discover our authentic self and the gifts we were born to share with the world.

Pleasing others = mediocrity.  Sharing our true gifts with others = empowerment and elite performance.

Once you have identified your three passions, see where they overlap.  What is the theme that comes to light – that is your big why.  Once you are able to articulate your purpose, it will drive you relentlessly, it will form the anchor for your business, and always keep you centred.

Today is your chance to listen to your inner warrior.

Find your big why.

Walk with honor.