I’m not really sure how many people will truly get this piece. Everything that I’m about to share with you sounds completely insane to the average person.
I believe we’ve got this amazing feedback system residing within us which brings all the information that we need to go to the next level in our lives, become high achieving, completely fulfilled, successful bad-asses.
It’s called pain.
Pain’s been given a bad rap over the lifetime of humanity. From the time we start crawling our mothers try desperately to protect us from experiencing pain, teaching us that it’s to be avoided at all costs. I get it – I did the same with my boys and continue the struggle to let them get hurt even though I know how valuable the learning.
Yet if we’re never allowed to freely experience pain, how do we ever get the true messages that she has for us? How do we ever get to understand her language and start harnessing a mind-set whereby we can not only redefine her, but use her to our betterment?
I first discovered the power of pain and how to change the conditioning of decades on my bike (where else?). Remarkably I remember the instant with crystal clarity. I was about 70 kilometers in on a solo endurance ride. The road was undulating (if you live in Joburg, I was out in the Cradle heading back towards the lion park going anti-clockwise) and the headwind was a constant force to be battled with.
My legs were burning like crazy yet they refused to slow down – pumping out a tempo with determination. I was looking at them in a state of wonderment and asked myself “What does this pain really mean? Why is my body actively seeking to hurt right now?” In my mind I saw a picture of a steam engine, the fires being stoked thereby generating more and more power for the train to pick up speed. That’s it! Pain = electric impulses firing on all cylinders which is giving my body the power, the endurance, the speed to win the race.
An insight the members of my spinning classes greatly cursed as I’m always so eager to share my wisdom with others and of course I believe in experiential learning.
I’ve never again slowed down because my legs are hurting. Instead I’ve learned to embrace the pain and rephrase it so that I’m hungry to stoke the fires for more.
My next rephrase came from learning and understanding the teachings of Abraham Hicks (yes I’m a fan) whereby our emotions is our internal GPS system. Feeling good means we’re on our way to living our most joyous lives, feeling like shit means we’re heading in the opposite direction. With this foundation I started investigating my business and my personal life.
I discovered that when I experienced pain in my relationships, it was never because of what the other person did or said, but an abandonment of my personal values, beliefs and self-love that hurt like a mofo. I’ve found that when we truly love and respect ourselves as the magnificent souls and fumbling humans that we are, there is no pain. Yet we actively seek out learning and you and I both know that relationships are our greatest teachers. So we constantly find ourselves in relationships whether romantic or friendship or business where we are given the gift of pain to gain deeper insight into who we truly are. This means the gift is not forgiving others after all. The gift is gratitude for the opportunity to fall more in love with self.
Next I turned to my business. Where was it causing me pain and what was the message? True as fuck, the message once again was abandonment of self. Whenever I try and do business the way it’s being taught by the system, I experience some serious pain. I’m not just talking emotional pain folks, I’m talking zero bank balance pain. I’m talking working with all the wrong people pain. I’m talking self-doubt pain where I start thinking there must be something wrong with me because everyone else is getting it right so I must be stupid if the ten bloody steps don’t work for me. Truth is, nobody else’s steps will ever work for me because I’m a creative. That means I was born to create not born to duplicate. When I don’t look inside and do what feels awesome and valuable and uplifting, I sink like a brick in water.
With this learning I am now wide awake and once again being on the lookout for pain because I know every time I do, there is a gift to be found inside. All I have to do is ask pain “What are you trying to tell me?”
Journal that shit out.
Ask yourself whilst training and see what power you can find at the bottom of your pain to go harder, higher, faster.
Ask yourself in your relationships and see where you have maybe abandoned yourself in order for you to fit into the mold of some other poor bastards’ misery.
Ask yourself in business where are you not being true to your creative spirit and looking outwards for all the answers when in fact, they are all inside. In your heart. In your mind. In your soul.
Whatever you do, start questioning!
Question not just pain but everything in life. It’s time.
You and I both know that the current system is simply not working for our generation anymore. And it sure as hell won’t work for the next generation. Just look at our political chaos and you will know the truth of what I speak.
I know you’re a bad-ass. I know that you’ve been stewing for a while now and you’re done feeling uncomfortable. I know for a fact that you’re ready to dive into the pain to find your power.
This is why I’ve put together Kick-start for you. Thirty days of me tapping into your truth and holding you to that standard of excellence. Holding your vision with you so that even if you falter, you don’t come to a halt. If this is calling to you and you’re so done with where you’re at, then check out the details here.
Always remember Darling, death is inevitable. But thriving is a choice. And believe me, pain is part of that package.