It’s not just what you say but how you say it.

I’ve been called insensitive.

A lot.

People seem to confuse sympathy with caring.  I don’t.

If you want sympathy go to the choir who thinks you’re a loser.

I think you’re fucking awesome and I will treat you as such.

So I don’t coo and ooh more when others are continuously telling me the drama which is their life.

I don’t feel sorry for people and their lot.

Their fate.

Over which they think they have no control.

Which, quite frankly, is all bullshit.

There are no victims in life.


I believe that everything happens for us.

Everything is learning opportunities to guide us back to our thrive.

But if you sit and recite the same old shit day in and day out, stretching out the heartbreaking notes with the sound of a violin, as if you have no part in how your life is playing out, you’re fucking delusional.

Plus you’re stuck.

“But Anel, it’s true!  Just look at my bank balance.  At my marriage.  At my weight.”

Yip – there’s always evidence for you to find to solidify your story.

What I’m discovering is that it’s not WHAT you tell people, it’s the TONE in which you tell it that makes the difference between having a very long pity-party and getting real with current reality, finding the learning, and shifting ass!

“I’m overweight” can be stated with a whine whilst shoving a Twinkie in your face, or “I’m overweight” can be stated matter of factly.  You can be honest and look in the mirror and ask yourself “Why am I eating too much, training too little?  What am I trying to hide from?  Where is my life out of balance?  Why am I afraid of being sexy as fuck – which would mean powerful as a Mofo.  What within me needs healing so that I can completely love and respect myself because when I love myself I stop poisoning my body?”

“I’m broke again” can be stated with frustration and anger and resentment at the unfairness of it all driving you to go buy another bottle of wine to drown your sorrows thereby ensuring that next month you can make the same statement again, or “I’m broke again” can be stated with curiosity leading you to finally sit down and start tracking your money.  To investigate your relationship with money and to see where it’s out of love.  To understand that money is pure energy so if you’re not happy with the amount of energy in your life you need to start by raising your own vibration to attract more.  You can start understanding that there’s a glitch in your belief systems which has you showing up around money in a manner that has money running the opposite way.  You can start investigating why it doesn’t feel safe for you to have more money, what are the pay-offs of being broke, what are you afraid of will happen if you have more money.

“I’m in a miserable marriage” can be stated with defeatism in an attempt to get the attention you crave from others as clearly you’re not getting it from your spouse, or “I’m in a miserable marriage” can be stated as an awakening leading you to question what you truly desire in your marriage.  How you are currently showing up in your marriage that is contributing to the situation (yes Darling, it takes two to tango).  What are you tolerating and why you’re open for this?  Why are you staying in the marriage if you’re really that unhappy?  What are the payoffs.  What are the fears.

In other words Sunshine, everything in your life can be stated as a bitching session which will only perpetuate the situation, or as a learning opportunity from which you can start making empowered choices.

It’s my experience that most people are simply too stuck to go from the soap opera version of their lives to rewriting the story as an adventure.  It’s like trying to jump from depression to joy – the leap is so big that they stay frozen instead.

I invite you to become aware of your tone of voice and to change from melodrama to factual to see the impact it has on your thought process, your actions, and your life.

I invite you to stop being so fucking judgemental about yourself as it always keeps you from finding the learning.  If you’re going to look at your body and go into self-hatred and judgement about how could you do this to yourself you’re just shifting your focus from one destructive behaviour to another.

We don’t have time for that moronic shit anymore.

Not if you’re in my space.

If you’re in my energetic sphere you know that you’re here to bring change and that change has to start with you.


I’m getting old and grey so shift ass.

Only death is inevitable.  Thriving is a choice.

With love always,


PS:  If you’re a woman with purpose tired of all the moaning and bitching so rife in many circles, I invite you to join Wild Woman Rebels where we celebrate your strength, your beauty and your wild side.  For that is what I see in you.