Self-respect is not given, it is earned!

how we’re taught to focus on others
in a way to understand and to please and to be ‘valuable contributors’ to society.
Yet we’re never taught how to focus on ourselves.

From childhood it’s all about being aware of yourself in relation to an external environment and finding your place in the family,
your place in the social box based on your skin colour, your religious or spiritual affiliations, your economic class, your country of birth.

Most of which you have no say over as a young one.

like me,
you were curious and continuously questioning as very little of what you were told felt good and right,
you were probably branded as the black sheep, the rebel, stubborn, disrespectful, insulent little bitch.

So you learn to keep quiet,
keep your thoughts to yourself.
Tread lightly so as not to set someone off.

There’s an Afrikaans saying “‘n stil bek is ‘n heel bek”
meaning a quiet mouth won’t get broken by a back-hand as ‘discipline’ is rained down on you in the name of ‘love’.

Until one day
you wake up
stumbling into the bathroom
to find the eyes of a stranger staring back at you in the mirror
and she fills you with disappointment and utter disgust.

I remember that moment well.

I stood there,
where the fuck did I go?

For the reflection of what was supposed to be me,
was a docile,
on automation
just to get through another day
without being hurt again
by words of insult and humiliation
as fists stopped being effective a long time ago.

My truth is
that as long as you make ANY part of yourself wrong
as long as you make ANY good feeling thoughts wrong
as long as you swallow your truth to keep the peace
as long as you say ‘tomorrow’
as long as you break your promise to yourself because others should come first
as long as you move at the pace of another when it’s not the rhythm of your life
as long as you compromise
as long as you maintain the status quo and it sucks rotten toes
as long as you tolerate
as long as you kiss arse
you will
respect yourself
and once you’ve lost respect for yourself
you’ve lost the motherfucking game!

For an Alpha was born to stand
with a sense of honour and integrity
infused into her heart,
her core.

This is why we simply can’t tolerate being surrounded by the masses of sheople
so fucking noisy with their constant bleating
whining about how hard it is and how unfair it is and blah blah blah.
Their cacophony drives me insane!
They have no desire for true freedom, regardless of their words.
More concerned with their perceived ‘safety in numbers’,
expecting the system to protect them,
in return,
giving obedient service and a mundane existence.

We’re living in a fascinating time as alpha females were born into families where patriachy was preached and enforced NOT by men, but by women.
The last couple of centuries seeing women ‘giving away their power’ by clamping up their pussies, gagging their mouths, and suppressing their emotions through whatever form of ‘medication’ they can find.

Personally I’m beyond grateful to all the women who came before me,
who created this environment of contrast,
so that Alphas such as myself
could hit their rock bottoms,
and from the cold hard floor

I’m beyond grateful to all the boys-in-men-bodies who have chosen to walk this journey with me,
who created this environment of contrast,
so that I could experience the horror of self-abandonment,
and from a space of RAGE at myself

I said rage at myself.
I refuse to make ANY of my emotions wrong
as I’ve learned how to receive their messages and use their energy to shift myself into a state of
self-respect once more.

I want you to understand that self-respect is NOT given,
it is EARNED.

Every day.
By staying faithful to yourself first and foremost.
By keeping your word to yourself REGARDLESS.
By honouring your desires.
By claiming who you are and expecting to be treated as such.
By romancing yourself every single day,
always asking
‘will this increase my personal well-being’
and saying YES when the answer is YES
even in the moments of discomfort.
For that which increases your personal well-being
often requires you to step up
to where your next level of
fucking fabulous
It takes courage and courage breeds respect.

If they call you selfish,
if they call you disrespectful,
if they call you inconsiderate,
if they say you’re breaking them,
if they say you’re destroying them,
they’re simply not Alpha.

Lift your chin Darling,
and with love and appreciation for who you choose to be
and with love and appreciation for who they choose to be
walk away.

For death is inevitable.
There is no thrive without self-respect.

Live with honour,


Anel is the Instigator of a Thrive Evolution for Alpha Females.

Her work is aimed at empowering women to trust themselves and their intuition, reclaiming their authentic voices, and creating a life they’re madly in love with.

Through enhanced self-love, self-worth and self-confidence they know the satisfaction and pride of a woman who lives unapologetically aligned with her purpose.

Those ready to step up and receive support on their journey are invited to connect through a potential partnership consultation.

✔︎ For more pockets for introspection follow her here ☛ Anel Bester

✔︎ To learn more about her thrive evolution visit here ☛

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