You keep telling yourself that Sunshine

Yoga has been an interesting journey for me.

A true gift.

It’s been a journey of learning to bend not break.

A journey of getting out of my ego and into my heart.

A journey of changing my story.

A reconnection with silence without the need of creating immense amounts of pain to drown out the screaming voices in my head.

Don’t get me wrong, I still enjoy pain.  I thrill in the fire I create in my muscles, my lungs, my arteries, when I push my body to her limits and beyond just for the hell of it.  For the accomplishment.  For the power.

I’m a little nuts that way.

The main difference is that now I do it out of choice rather than desperation.

It’s part of my story.

And I fucking love stories.

We all do by the way.

We live by our stories.

We create our lives by our stories.

We experience our relationships by our stories.

And we seem to have a thing for drama.

It appears to be our natural default.

Gay Hendricks refers to it as our Upper Limit – that place where we get to and we think we can’t possibly handle so much joy, so we fuck up just so we can feel safe in our misery.

Oh My Thor, I used to be completely addicted to the drama.

To the misery.

I conducted an orchestra of violins to cry into the night, drowning out the cacophony of  horny cats under the full moon.

I told my story of depression to the woman in the mirror at every opportunity.

I told her that the dick was right – she was useless.  Worthless.  A complete and utter failure.

I told her that the bastard was right – that men had no respect for her intellect, her value, and would only ever see her as a sexual object to be used and discarded.

I told her that the world hated her.

Hated her body.

That she should eat another ten brownies because the twenty kilo’s of fat wasn’t enough to rid her of the emptiness inside.

Fuck, I crushed her spirit.

I ripped her apart.

I put that bitch down into the ground and personally shovelled the dirt on her coffin.

I was the narrator of my own spiritual suicide.

Until I caught a glimpse of the hollowness that used to be me.

The vacant expression.

The pasty complexion.

And it broke my fucking heart wide open.

It unleashed within me a sorrow that tore out my throat, dragged me to the floor and had me sob hysterically.

This was my turning point.

You see Darling, I’ve discovered that our lives are nothing more than a reflection of the stories we tell ourselves.

You can call them beliefs.

You can call them reality.

You can call them whatever the hell you like.

But whatever the voice in your head has playing on repeat is what ultimately creates your results.

It makes you feel – whether that feeling is elated or deflated, expansive or restricted.

Your feelings impacts your vibe – and your vibe attracts the people, events, things that is on a complimentary vibration.

Your vibe impacts your actions and the energy that drives your actions.

You vibing low Sweetheart?  You’ll probably sit on your ass a lot!  In front of the TV.  In front of your laptop.  In front of your iPhone.

You vibing high, your body demands movement!  Walking, running, biking, writing the copy that attracts your clients, making the calls to bring in the money, having the conversations that changes lives, making passionate love that leaves your lover spent and satisfied in your arms.

Your actions equals your results.  If you’re constantly sitting your body will show it.  Your sex drive will show it.  Your money will show it.

If on the other hand you’re moving that sexy derriere like Beyonce – well, do I really need to say more?

But it all starts with that little voice in your head.

The one that you hear even whilst you’re sleeping.

She can be your greatest ally, or she can be fucking you over.

You get to decide.

Because you’re the one feeding her.

Oh, don’t tell me that you can’t turn her off.

Of course you can!

You can find a voice that drowns that whiney bitch out and that has your blood pumping through your veins with renewed vigour.

You can use your larynx and you can start talking out loud, real loud, sing if you have to, scream if you have to, saying the shit that lights you up!

The affirmations.

The mantras.

The manifestos.

Until the voice in your head starts singing a different tune.

Until you can look back at your past with compassion and say “Fuuuuuuck, that was a silly story to tell myself.  But shit, that was powerful learning.”

Get the learning of the stories that don’t serve your happiness.

The learning of the stories that don’t give you the iconic results.

Ultimately it’s all about the learning.

Not the judging.

Not perfection.

And yes, some of us have chosen to write some horrors that impress Stephen King himself.

Some of us have written dramas that has Shakespear sitting up in anticipation of the next twist in the plot.

It’s all good Darling.

No matter where you’re today.

Maybe you’re still sitting in the Titanic watching that iceberg approaching.  Legs trembling.  Caught in the headlights.

Maybe you’re in the water listening to the desperate screams of your fellow travellers drowning.

Maybe you’re feeling the cold seeping into your bones and the pull of death gripping your feet.

You can still choose to change the story.

Right now.

In this very moment.

You’re THAT fucking powerful!

It all starts with a choice.

Yes, the results take some time to become visible in your physical reality.  Be patient.  Be determined.  Be relentless.

After all, magic is not instantaneous.

You wouldn’t want it that easy anyway.

You’re a goddamn warrior.

You wanted the fight.

You wanted to bleed.

YOU WANTED TO GET KNOCKED DOWN TO THE FLOOR SO YOU COULD FIND YOUR TRUTH AND RISE!

So find your truth and rise!

It starts with changing your narration.

It starts with taking an honest look at yourself in the mirror and choosing to wake up.

To question.

To think for yourself.

To believe in yourself.

To thrive!

Death is inevitable.

Thriving, a choice.

With love eternal,

Anel

PS:  When caught up in the pace of everyday life, it’s challenging to find the space and objectivity to question our stories and to get a different perspective.  In fact, most of the times we are so convinced that our story is absolute truth, so determined to save our fragile egos and not be proven wrong, that we go through our entire lives recreating the same pattern, unaware of the range of genres available to us.

This is one of the many gifts of coaching.

An outside perspective, a keen listener, who can reflect to you the story you’ve got on rerun in your head and connect the dots to the results in your life.

I’ve been told by many a client that one of my most powerful gifts I bring to them is truth.

I reflect it the way I see it.  Without trying to downplay it.  Without trying to wrap it in cotton wool and pass it off for warm and fluffy.

If it’s bullshit that’s holding you back, I will take off your rose coloured specs so you can see what I see.

If it’s someone else’s story that you’ve taken as your own, tripping you up, sabotaging your joy, I will shine the light on that for you as well.

And if it’s a powerful voice that you need to hear in your head to drown out the drama queen, well I will be that voice for you too.

If you’re ready to change your results, to change the movie that is your life, casting you as the heroine, book your free coaching consult today and I will switch on the spotlights for your stage.