The Silent Warrior – What if?

This is my personal truth.

With the SkyRun no longer happening this year, and with the move to New Zealand, I have taken the last couple of weeks a notch down replacing my rigorous training with relaxed runs with my puppies.  No heart rate monitor, no tracking of time, distance, speed.  Nothing.  Just running for the pure pleasure of running.

It’s interesting what we can learn when we stay in the moment and open our eyes and our minds.  I have learned so much about myself and society in general simply by observing my dogs.  Chrissie specifically, as she is truly her mother’s daughter.  Strong-willed, feisty, not giving a shit about the rules of how she is supposed to behave.  I’m sure you can understand why I adore her!

I used to run with her on a leash.  She would strain against that rope with all her strength, pulling me along, getting frustrated with my pace if I wasn’t going fast enough.  Getting annoyed when I wanted to keep going and she wanted to investigate a peculiar smell or whatever else wanted her attention.  She was also extremely aggressive, barking at everyone who would dare come close to us and I’m sure she tried to nip a couple of other dogs.

Then one day I decided screw it, and I took her off the leash.  OMG the pure joy that radiated off my puppy as she ran at inhuman speeds!  To this day I am in awe of watching her when she is allowed to do her own thing.  She will dash off, go explore but never losing sight of me.  Sniff around until she is satisfied with what is going on then dash back to me.  I have learned to just keep going at my own pace and trust that she will always return.  She is also a lot less aggressive when she is free.  Oh don’t get me wrong!  She is still extremely cheeky and won’t let any dog intimidate her, no matter what their size!  But she will give her loud opinion and then keep going.  It is as if the leash constrained her and made her fearful and the only way she could react was through aggression!

I realized this week that so many of us are like Chrissie.  I know I can only speak for myself, but living on the leash of societal rules just never worked for me!  I was frustrated with the pace.  I was frustrated with not being able to stop and explore whenever I wanted to.  I was frustrated with the direction I was supposed to go into.  And I was a real aggressive bitch because being this ‘nice’ girl so that others would like me left me open to being hurt all the time.

We were born pretty fucking perfect.  And then we get told that we don’t fit into the mold of perfection as decided by some asinine unseen power of man.  We always have the wrong skin color no matter what the color.  We are overweight or underweight.  We don’t start talking early enough.  Then we talk too much.  We don’t start walking at the right age.  Then we walk too fast / too slow / like a duck.  We don’t think enough.  We think too much, question too much.  We should move our asses.  We should sit still otherwise we have ADD.  We should have a boyfriend, we should be single.  We should be married, we should get divorced.  We should have 2.5 children.  We should have a steady job.  We should be an entrepreneur.  WTF?!  Is it any wonder that society is filled with aggressive bitches on a leash of frustration????

My LifeMy ChoicesWhat would happen if you took the leash off?

Don’t get me wrong – when you have been on a leash your entire life, it is bloody scary at first.  Other dogs and their owners will be very quick to tell you to get back into your place!  Put the leash back on!  What the hell were you thinking?

But oh, the freedom of running at your own pace.  The freedom of exploring and thinking for yourself and being willing to take chances and live life on your own rules, it’s nothing short of miraculous.

I believe that this is what the Universe intended for us in the first place.  To explore life and the world with an energy of joy instead of this horrendous auto-pilot martyrdom which most humans seem to be living.

As I continue my journey off my leash, I’m finding more and more amazing women along the way who have broken free as well.  They are fighting for a change in the world so that more people can live freely, wake up with joy, create a better earth for everyone.

I don’t want my children to live on a leash one day.  Do you?

Walk with honor.

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