The Silent Warrior – Why I don’t do seven steps

This is my personal truth.

Today is my 16 year wedding anniversary.  I have to be honest, it has not been 16 years of moonlight and roses – well some of the roses came with huge thorns.  Along the way things have gone terribly wrong and we’ve been to counselling or therapy on more than one occasion.  Every time we have tried it the way that others told us to do it, following the seven steps to a highly effective marriage, things went from bad to fucking disastrous.  Now we do it our way, we’ve stopped caring what others think of our relationship and it’s uniqueness and it is magic!

Here is what I have learned along the way: there are certain universal truths such as your thoughts drive your feelings which in turn drives your actions and that gives you the results you see around you.  That and the fact that we live in an abundant universe which loves to support us when we have the courage to ask and believe.  That’s about it as far as universal goes.

The rest is one big fucking adventure of trying, failing, succeeding, learning, loving, hating, laughter, tears, frustration, elation, hormones, sex, booze, food, chocolate, shit and everything in-between.  And each person experiences this glorious thing called life in his/her unique way.

I have learned all about constructs and research showing that people learn easier when things happen in 3’s, 5’s or sevens which is why everyone is selling you the seven steps to a successful business.  I only wish they would rephrase it to “The seven steps that worked for me in building my business which you can try and it might work if you have the same personality as me or it might not – but fuck, what have you got to loose?”

Because there is no one size fits all recipe darling.  There are certain ways that work for certain people.  There are certain routines that work for me and my clients because we thrive in that type of structure, but others hate it and they will never get brilliant results because they need to sleep late to be happy.  This is why every coach builds her own tribe and why she has lovers and haters.  Those who think the same as her will try her recipe and get awesome results because their base belief systems are in alignment.  The haters however will have a fundamentally different belief system and everything she says rubs them up the wrong way and her way will lead to disaster for them thereby proving that ‘she is a fake and doesn’t know what she’s talking about’!

Success is ultimately YOUR responsibility and it starts with getting to know yourself and embracing that without all the judgement.  There is no good personality type and bad personality type.  Each has her strengths and weaknesses.  But how can you maximize your potential if you’re not willing to embrace who you are?

So for the bakers out there who follow a recipe and get success, I highly recommend that you work with the seven steps coaches and you will get your desired results.  But for those of us who like to do things our own way, who want to get the structures in place so we can focus on what we desire and have the support, who just want a compass and a finish line and who want to figure out how to get there on our own, please stop wasting your time with the recipes coaches.  That is just you doubting yourself and that is bullshit.  That is you looking around and thinking that neat and tidy looks nice when in fact you are a down and dirty type of girl.  Find the coach that will keep you uncomfortable.  The one who asks the questions that makes you dig deeper than ever before so that you can find your own answers.  The one who celebrates your fuck-ups because they indicate the size of your balls.

I’m the ’embracing the adventure of the journey to get to your success’ coach. I work with elite performers who know that they have what it takes and they are willing to put in the work to obtain their unique dream.  The ones with the big visions.  The ones who know they were born for a magnificent purpose and they are not afraid to live it.  No matter how tough the path might get at times.  If this resonates with you I invite you to come join my tribe of kick-ass women who do it in stilettos or sneakers but who do it embracing their own style without apology.  Find us Get Out Of Your Head.

Until next time Sweetheart – walk with honor.