This is my personal truth.
I’ve always known that I didn’t conform to the average by which I was surrounded. I have never been able to just do what I’m told if it didn’t make sense to me, or if there was a deep knowing inside of me that what I was told to do had more to do with another person’s ego than what was good for me.
It started with ‘cheeky’, it progressed to ‘bitch’, and this week-end I was even called a ‘father-fucker’ to my face. Well technically he was right. I do have two amazing boys and I love making love to the man who fathered them. But I’m sure we both know that is not what was meant.
Here is what I have learned in my 43 years of existence about these names that people give us.
First of all, sociology teaches us that every society requires rules to keep us safe and to maintain peace. Personal opinion: the current rules are not fucking working anymore people!!! The rules I see enforced on us from childhood is more about fitting in (a box) than keeping us safe. More about having everyone ‘feeling good about themselves’ than to promote an evolving society. Personally, I can’t remember when last I went to bed ‘feeling safe’ but that is for another blog.
There is a psychological methodology called personal construct theory. It states that in order for people to make sense of their world, they form constructs (basic ideas) on which everything else is build. The more we experience and expand our lives and our worlds, the more constructs we have available to us and the bigger our world. Nice in theory – not so nice in a society filled with mediocrity where a lot of people appear to be resistant to new learning and expansion of their personal truths. They have one box into which everything must fit otherwise it’s considered as ‘wrong’.
What I’m finding is that a large portion of our population have basic labels (constructs) for other people. When the people are ‘nice’ and they ‘like’ them because they do what they are told to do to fit in with everyone else, they are given ‘nice’ labels e.g. ‘she is such a good girl / good mother / good wife / caring and giving woman’. These labels are given to encourage more of the same behavior. But heaven forbid you should not fit into those predetermined constructs and they simply cannot make head or tail of you true brilliance! They will call you a bitch / a whore / a slut / greedy / obstinate. If you are a powerful woman, I’m sure you can add a few more.
And guess when we are given these labels? When we stand out from the crowd. When we do things differently. When we no longer buy into the bullshit we’ve been fed our entire lives and instead find our own voices. When we stand up for ourselves and our loved ones. When we refuse to be held down any longer. When we do not back down. And yes, it is still much worse for women than it is for men even in this day and age. Go figure…
But words have no power unless you give them power. They have no meaning except for the meaning you assign to them. So let those who do not understand your brilliance label you. You were never born to accumulate ‘nice’ labels. You were born to change the world into a better place. Let those who cannot comprehend the power that is within you label you with whatever words they so desire. Continue pushing the envelope. Continue to live beyond the realm of constructs. Your soul is the entire universe and the entire universe is your soul. Whose mind can possibly comprehend the enormity of that power?
So call me whatever you want. For all the constructs in the world cannot possibly encompass my magnificence. And your labels are meaningless in my purpose to inspire.
Call me whatever you want. I am beyond the scope of your words.
Walk with honor.
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